MEDIATION, HOSTILITY, AND EMOTIONS EP 111
HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach
GUEST: Ellice (Lisa) Halpern, Founder/Principal Mediator, Little Falls Mediation
SUMMARY:
The divorce process can be challenging, triggering a torrent of emotions that range from fear, grief, loss, sadness, and anxiety to anger and frustration. In such trying times, effective mediation can serve as a vital lifeline, offering a safe space to express your feelings and concerns without descending into hostility. Mediation provides a structured platform for open communication and negotiation for fairness, enabling spouses to work through their issues with the help of a neutral third party. By addressing the underlying emotions and grievances constructively, mediation strives to pave the way for amicable resolutions and, in the process, helps ease the burdens of separation, preserves relationships, and fosters a sense of closure and healing. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to Ellice (Lisa) Halpern, Founder/Principal mediator of Little Falls Mediation. Together, they discuss mediation, hostility, and emotions to provide you the tools to navigate your divorce journey with stability, control, grace, and resilience.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- What does mediation look like when done the right way? The most important thing about mediation is to empower you to have control over the process and the outcome.
- There are four prompts for Mediation: Identify the issue, pick an issue and brainstorm all kinds of options, evaluate those options by asking questions and doing reality testing, and come to a joint decision.
- How do I identify a great mediator vs. a not-so-great mediator? It depends on what you are looking for, but check if they are certified by your state, if you are comfortable talking to them, and if they have the qualities you want, such as kindness, rapid response, and confidence.
- I want my mediation results to be fair. In mediation, you have the flexibility you don’t have in court. In court, the judge gives an order, but in mediation, you can negotiate what is fair to you.
NOTABLE QUOTES:
- Acknowledging your emotions during meditation will empower you, create a legitimate sense of control and fairness, and create the opportunity to preserve the relationship. (Ellice)
- Making mediation a business-like transaction, putting those emotions aside, and viewing it as a neutral business transaction is not easy, but it can be done. (Beverly)
- Mediation is not therapy, but it does not ignore the emotions; you are allowed to pause, take a break, get a drink, and choose whether you want to continue or not. (Ellice)
- The cornerstone of meditation is disclosure and confidentiality, and it’s voluntary, so if someone does not want to share financial information, they are not a candidate for mediation. (Ellice)
- Mediation can be a tool used in situations of domestic violence, but when there is abuse, a lawyer can help you in a better way than mediation. (Ellice)
- It’s important for you to have professionals you can consult with, whether it’s a lawyer, divorce financial neutral, tax person, parenting coordinator, therapist, divorce coach, or real estate professional, who can guide you along the way with your mediator. (Ellice)
ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Ellice (Lisa) Halpern launched Little Falls Mediation in early 2015 to help private clients who approached her to mediate issues related to marriage, separation, and divorce, as well as business and community matters. Little Falls Mediation is Arlington Magazine's Best of Arlington 2022, 2020, and 2018 winner for Best Mediator, as well as the winner of Arlington Sun Gazette's Best of the Best for 2020, 2019, 2018, and 2016. See Arlington Magazine's January/February 2018 Best Mediator interview with Ellice for the Best of Arlington issue at www.arlingtonmagazine.com/listings/best-of-arlington-2018/little-falls-mediation/.
To date, Ellice has mediated over 1600 private and court-referred cases, face-to-face and online. She is a graduate of Cornell University and Georgetown University Law Center and is licensed to practice law in the state of Maryland. She completed her general mediator training and family mediator training with the Northern Virginia Mediation Service and has been certified by the Supreme Court of Virginia as a mediator since 2010. Ellice participates in continuing mediator education and training each year as required by the Supreme Court of Virginia for recertification.
Ellice mediated court-referred community cases in the Small Claims Division of Multi-Door Dispute Resolution at the D.C. Superior Court from 2011 through 2020. She has mediated numerous cases involving a variety of disputes, such as disagreements between family members, neighbors, landlords and tenants, employees and employers, and contractors and homeowners. She has also mediated civil, banking, accident, and personal injury matters, among other cases.
From 2015 through 2019, Ellice mediated court-referred family cases in the Family Mediation Program at Multi-Door Dispute Resolution in Washington, D.C. She mediated cases involving requests for temporary restraining orders in the Judge-in-Chambers Program at Multi-Door from 2016 through 2019. Ellice was an Adjunct Professor of Law at the George Mason University (GMU) Antonin Scalia Law School in Arlington, Virginia, and taught for eight semesters from 2017 through 2021. She created and taught an experiential Alternative Dispute Resolution class each fall that included an exploration of negotiation, mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law.
Ellice has also worked (1) as a consultant to a coalition of for-profit HMOs, (2) as Washington Counsel to the American Medical Association, (3) as Minority Counsel to the late U.S. Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) on the Federal Services, Post Office, and Civil Service Subcommittee of the Senate Committee on Governmental Affairs, and (4) as an attorney and special assistant at the U.S. Office of Personnel Management.
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FOLLOW OUR GUEST:
Ellice (Lisa) Halpern
Website: https://www.littlefallsmediation.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.instagram.com/littlefallsmediation/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littlefallsmediation/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/littlefallsmediation/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElliceHalpern
Blogs: https://www.littlefallsmediation.com/blog/five-tips-for-choosing-the-right-mediator
https://www.littlefallsmediation.com/blog/five-financial-tips-when-you-are-facing-divorce
ABOUT YOUR HOST:
Beverly Price is the empowering divorce coach who guides women on their journey before, during, and after divorce to eliminate pain, overwhelm, sadness, and anger and create more knowledge, skill, and peace that she experienced herself. In her 30 years of divorce coaching experience she has help thousands of women move through divorce, fully prepared with skills that enhance the results of their divorce process.
Remember, divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. With the right support and guidance, you can move through the process with knowledge, skills, and confidence. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary private consultation, reach out to Beverly at:
https://Beverly-Price.as.me/ConsultationCall
CONTACT YOUR HOST:
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