You’re not failing, you’re not starting from zero, even if it feels like everything in your life is falling apart.

In this deeply personal episode, Yaya shares the story of losing her job, losing her confidence, and losing her sense of identity, and how gratitude became the first tool that helped her rise again.

This isn’t the fluffy “just be grateful” advice you hate.

This is the grounded, real-life version of gratitude that helps you breathe again when life feels heavy.

In this note, you’ll learn:

• why hard seasons make you forget what’s still holding you together
• how gratitude shifts your nervous system out of survival mode
• how to ground yourself when everything feels uncertain
• how to focus on what’s supporting you, not what you’ve lost
• the mindset reframe that rebuilds quiet confidence from the inside
• If you’re feeling behind, overwhelmed, or hard on yourself, this is the note to play when you need to remember:

You’re not starting over; you’re starting from experience.

Apply for Journey to Confidence if you’re ready to rebuild your self-belief with support, clarity, and direction.

Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily Pep talk.

I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop overthinking and start showing up boldly.

Many of you are likely thinking about gratitude and thankfulness around this time of the season.

And even though I don't personally celebrate the holidays, I know gratitude, reflection, and the what have I accomplished this year?

Thoughts are heavy in the air right now and I want to tell you a story, one that comes from one of the darkest seasons of my life and how gratitude became my first lifeline back to myself.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you felt embarrassed by where you were?

Where you felt behind, lost, stuck, or like everything about your life was falling apart at the same exact time and then someone tells you, just be grateful?

Yeah, I used to hate that phrase too.

I thought that they were crazy until the moment it became something that saved me.

I lost my job and I didn't find another one for a year and a half.

Not a month, not a quarter, a year and a half.

I dealt with depression for the first time.

I dealt with suicidal thoughts.

I felt embarrassed in front of my family.

Like somehow my worth just dropped because I didn't have a paycheck.

Unemployment ran out after six months.

My bills didn't magically disappear, my responsibilities didn't disappear, and the pressure didn't disappear.

Every day I felt like I was sinking deeper into a place that I did not know how to crawl out of.

My dad could tell.

One of my close friends could tell.

They both checked on me every single day because they knew that I wasn't doing well.

And then one day my dad said to me, you just had to look at things from a place of gratitude.

I remember thinking gratitude like, sir, I can't pay my bills.

I'm depressed, I'm scared.

I feel like a failure.

What exactly am I supposed to be grateful for?

I thought he was out of his mind.

But he kept going.

And he says, I know it's hard, but you still have things that matter.

He reminded me that I had a reliable car that would take me to interviews.

I had a family and friends that supported me.

I had a roof over my head even though things were tight, and I had food in the fridge thanks to food stamps.

And he said to me, these are things that everyone else would pray for.

That's when it hit me.

Not in a guilt way, not in a be grateful or else way, but in a reality way, because all I could see was what I had lost.

All I could see was what I didn't have.

All I could see was what felt wrong.

But I couldn't see anything that was still holding me up.

That conversation didn't magically fix my depression.

It didn't erase the pressure that I felt.

And it didn't bring back my job.

But it cracked open a tiny window of light in a very dark room.

I started looking at small things differently.

Not from scarcity, not from everything is going wrong, but from a place of grounding.

I started asking myself, what do I still have that's helping me survive this?

What do I still have that someone else will be grateful for?

What do I still have that proves that I am not alone in this moment?

And the more I practice that, the more my mind slowly shifted.

That was the moment, the first moment, my mindset and my confidence started rebuilding.

Not because life got easier, but because I stopped treating myself like I was losing at everything.

Now, here's what I really want you to hear today.

Gratitude does not mean pretending that your life is perfect.

It doesn't mean lying to yourself or your friends.

It doesn't mean ignoring real struggles, real pain, or real pressure.

Gratitude is not denial.

Gratitude is direction.

It shifts your eyes from saying, look at everything that's missing to look at what's still holding me up.

And the truth is, confidence grows from whatever you focus on.

When you focus on what's missing, you feel smaller, less capable, less worthy, less steady.

But when you focus on what's supporting you, even when life is hard, you remind your brain that you are not starting from zero.

You are not as alone as you feel, and you are not as powerless as your fears want you to believe.

Every time you practice gratitude, you're telling your brain, I am not losing.

I'm learning.

I am not empty.

I'm supported.

I'm not failing.

I'm rebuilding.

That is confidence.

Not loud confidence, not flashy confidence, not Instagram confidence, but quiet, steady, grounded confidence.

It's unshakable.

The kind that you build when life has kicked your behind.

But you are still here.

Now take a deep breath with me.

Inhale.

And then exhale.

Today, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, I want you to notice one small thing in your life that you've been overlooking.

Something that's supporting you, something that's holding you up.

Something you didn't earn, but you still have something someone else would pray for.

Just one thing.

Hold it for a minute.

Let it soften your chest.

Let it ground your nervous system.

Let it remind you that you are not sorry for nothing.

If this note hit home for you today, I want to hear from you.

Send me a DM on Instagram coaching with Yar, or you can hit me up on our podcast account Notes to her Daily and tell me one thing that you are grateful for today, big or small.

I would love to celebrate that with you.

And in our next episode, we're going to be talking about the thought that's been quietly slaying your confidence and how to take your power back.

So I'll see you there.