The Queens rate and review Amal S's UPDATED 1 Star Yelp Review for swanky NYC restaurant Eleven Madison Park. IT'S CHELSEY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Trey is impersonated in a BAD way, Chelsey isn't getting that burn and she WANTS IT, and the Queens have trouble with phrases concerning lids...multiple times.

(1:31) Chelsey is the Birthday Bitch!

(04:59) Lodge a Complaint!

(11:17) Eleven Madison Park Review

(29:08) Exclusive Offer

(31:56) My Royal Highness

(35:48) DONATE!

(36:23) On Today's After Show Pod

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Hi,

Hello, and welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Reviews!

We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces,

That is Chelsey Donn.

And that is Trey Gerrald.

And together we are

The

Review Queens!

For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members only after

Much more.

the Fantasticks anyone, then go ahead and visit our Patreon at

Oh, Chelsey,

how

are w----.

How, what where?

It's time to get Birthday drunk!

Birthday,

It's Chelsey's birthday!!!!

birthday.

Yeah, love my birthday song.

Today's June 22nd, everyone.

And it's Chelsey's 19th birthday.

oh, my goodness

birthday.

thank you.

Happy birthday, Meryl Streep as well.

Ah, look at that.

It is just a celebrat Tori de Chelsey.

was your birthday going?

Thank you for spending it

Oh, my goodness.

I would spend it with no one else.

My birthday is great.

Thanks for asking.

I mean, just grateful to have another year round the sun, traveling

Try.

What are your favorite things about birthday celebrations?

Do you have any favorite things or disfavored things?

Oh, you know, it's so hard for me because I was such a big birthday

For years, I did the Hollywood bowl every year with a big group.

And it's just so sad to say, but like, you know, COVID sort of canceled those big,

I've been a little bit more low key this year.

I got to say, but I think it's, you know, I think it's good.

I'm just happy.

As long as I'm celebrating with someone, I don't, I don't like to do the big birthday dinners.

Stress me out.

That's why I'm like more of an events girl.

I'm like buy a ticket to the game.

We'll go.

You want to buy yourself a hot dog?

Go ahead.

I get stressed out with the traditional birthday dinner, you know, like

Ugh.

God, I can't.

Yeah, for sure.

Do you have a special way that you like to celebrate your birthday?

I think the older I've gotten the less, I want to like even

For many years there, this is a weird tale that I could expound on in the after-show perhaps.

for my 26th birthday, I went to a pottery painting place and invited

And while I was painting a coffee mug, I booked my first television series.

got a phone call saying I was

God.

That's so cool.

And so then it became like, well, I got to do those every year because good

my God.

Now you're making me feel like I got to go to a pottery place stat.

Well, it never repeated itself.

And so then I was like, okay, I'm gonna not do this anymore.

And then now I don't know.

I'm just sort of like, man, I'd rather just like sit around and not do anything, but my

He loves to have huge superstar.

No, he loves to have huge ginormous parties.

He wants, rented out a bar and did a nineties themed birthday party where everyone

Oh, so fun.

I love that.

One year he rented out a restaurant and we did animal nose party

Okay.

Yeah.

So, um, Yeah.

so we experienced all of that on all sides, but though it is your birthday, Chelsey, am curious.

Is there anything that isn't making you happy?

Is there anything that you want to

Lodge A Complaint.

about today on your birthday?

Yeah, there is actually, so I, I love candles.

If you're thinking about getting me a belated birthday gift, go ahead and send

However, hate when I'm burning a candle, the wick is burned through, and there's still

And like, what do I do?

Am I supposed to throw away the candle?

Am I supposed to like melt it and make a new candle?

That feels like a lot of work?

What would.

It just feels like such a waste.

There's all that delicious sleep scented wax.

And I don't have any way to, to keep it burning.

what am I supposed to do?

I know exactly what we're talking about.

That's why I love those candles that have multiple wicks.

Cause it makes me feel like I'm

Little, little more.

Yeah.

A little more secure about like the distribution.

Have you ever like played with a candle wax, like as it's burning and then

Have you ever experienced any of that?

Yeah, I mean, I used to play with the wax a lot, cause I used to

Oh, well, good

Yeah, I didn't, I haven't really done that since I was a kid, but I've

And it can't be lit and that's, that's probably even more frustrating.

Maddening.

Do you remember that trend?

Like maybe in the early two thousands of like pair friend paraffin,

Yeah.

would dip your hand in.

Or your feet.

Oh, it felt so good.

I love a good paraffin wax.

Not going to lie.

It's always the ad-on when you're getting a Manny petty, like, and you want to do the paraffin?

Like, how do I say no?

I mean, my feet and my hands are so dry and they make you feel so smooth.

Yes.

All right.

Try since it is my birthday, I guess I will grant you one wish and allow you

So do you have a complaint that you want to Lodge?

A,

All right.

So today I actually have a serious complaint.

So I was doing some research because been taking more financial control in my life.

And I discovered that I had fraudulent activity on my MasterCard.

This fraudulent activity dates back to may of 2021.

That's.

Oh my goodness.

That's right.

You mentioned

Today is June 22nd, 2020.

I have been being charged 29 90 $9 a month since may of 2021.

And I have no idea what it is.

Have you have you since calculated to see how much that is?

Oh no, I haven't added it up, but cause I'm too upset.

But what I did do is I disputed all of the charges.

One by one.

You have to fill in this thing on.

Well, there's a time.

Yes.

You have to, it's like transaction one and then you do the date, the

And so, and this has been going on, I mean, it's three pages of charges.

Oh, my God

And it was like due to the number of transactions, like a pop-up happened.

It was you will be contacted by a representative in three to five business days.

So it was like, Okay.

great.

like, I have to go to work.

this sounds like a representative conversation anyway.

Truly.

Correct?

Correct.

So then today I was like, oh, I still haven't heard anything back from that.

So I called MasterCard and we looked through it and there were like, how

And I was like, I don't know.

It's like three pages.

And they're like, you did not select two charges.

And I was like, what?

like, there's two charges.

You didn't slack.

So because of that, it was deemed not fraudulent.

so there, so you, so out of the, like three pages of, of things that

And because you miss Two, from that vendor, none of them, that is the dumbest thing I've ever

Because it looks like a wreck.

It's a recurring charge.

And because I didn't tag two of them as fraudulent MasterCard said, oh, well,

Cause they, they processed two charges, but they're wanting to charge these other 90.

So now I'm in a holding pattern once again.

And this is a

fraudulent charge at some company in England.

So this is still not resolved.

No.

Oh my God.

But I had to, I did have to lock the car, the account and like cancel it.

So I got the new card in the mail today.

So when I was on the phone with the representative, I was like, why would

I have to update all of my bills if I was like trying to pull a fast one.

And he was like, you know, I can like resubmit this with this two additional charges.

I was like, Yeah, Thank you.

So I'll keep everyone updated, but that's really my complaint.

Don't take my identity,

How dare

if you're British.

How dare you?

How very dare.

you.

very dare.

I don't even want to live my life sometimes.

Why do you,

Especially from a queen.

My goodness.

How dare let the meat cake,

let them eat cake

ate her birthday cake.

and give Trey has identity back.

But, you know, once I feel like, oftentimes my complaints lead back.

to things I am responsible for.

I should have clocked this many months ago.

One could even say a year ago.

Uh, but, uh, anyway, I'm dealing with that.

So my complaint is stealing identities.

Don't do that.

Complaint heard complaint added to the ledger.

Try.

I'm sorry.

so

I hope you're able to let your birthday candles.

I will, I will.

Soldier on in your honor.

Okay.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, should we jump into some online reviews for your book?

I think we sh I there's no other way.

I'd rather celebrate my birthday than with a fine help and have online.

Review!.

Review That Review.

As you know, we are your trustee Review!

Queens.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

We read you the Review!

break it down and rate the impact of their review on a scale from zero to five crowns.

It's a very Regal process that we call.

Uh, says that given.

That's right.

What do you have for us today?

Try it.

All right.

And honor of your birthday.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay.

I have

Okay.

a one star Yelp review.

Yeah,

For a restaurant because I know you love restaurant reviews.

I do.

So this is for a restaurant and Manhattan called 11 Madison Park.

Okay.

This is written by a mall, S

How do you spell it?

a M a L

Okay.

updated Review!

serious.

I am negating my previous glowing raves for this place solely on the pathetic

I have touted this place forever to everyone as one of the cream of the N Y crop.

You not only lost my business and that of a major U S C E.

But I will be sure to share this awful experience as much as the good ones, my friend and I love

We like to sit at the bar less stuff, but we drop some serious coin.

Here's the setup we walk in.

Can I help you?

Yes, we would like to have dinner at the bar and a couple bottles of wine.

Well, the bar is full right now.

No problem.

We can wait, we will just grab a drink.

We have a no standing room policy.

So you can't, what do you mean?

There are a lot of pubs in the area.

If you would like, I could recommend a couple of places we stare at each other.

Like this troll is kidding.

Half the people at the bar were standing.

Question mark.

Question mark.

Question, mark.

Question.

We looked at him and said, no, thanks.

We don't need a pub recommendation.

Walked out whisked and a cab uptown to Maria, where we were treated like gold, amazing

He could have offered to take a look at the bar and see if anyone was closing a tab question,

Are you AF in kidding me three question marks.

I know you guys don't need the business, but the person they turned away was a very frequent diner.

As I.

Probably 25 to 30 visits a year between us as Julia.

Robert said big mistake, five exclamation marks.

We don't expect anything more than a proper courtesy, but the way he treated us, I will

Perfect.

Weekly martini.dot dot idiot.

Ooh,

with the idiots.

I just have to tell you,

Yeah.

there is nary a capital letter and this entire not a single

Review!

anywhere to be found.

But there is punctuation.

So many question marks.

And a lot of ellipses, a lot of exclamation marks.

Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

A mall.

All right.

There were a few times where I was confused as to whether or not a mall was speaking

They pissed them off and also a CEO or something like that.

Are they the CEO?

Are they saying like, they pissed me off and also my friend who is a CEO and

The person they turned away.

I was a very frequent

Was a very frequent diner.

And then they said exactly.

And then they said that they were a frequent diner.

So it's like, are you speaking to the third person or are you saying that you're a

They did like explicitly say that at one point.

Right.

Yeah, so I did do a little research on them all as,

Oh, okay.

and they are very rare.

They must be writes batch

Both and pers and, and the way they Review!.

So they really do not like to use the caps lock and they frequently speak

are.

So I'm unsure exactly what it is that a mall does, a mall takes lots of fancy business

Yeah.

So I do think because there's, I think the grammar here,

Uh, they don't use commas, which I think would help us indicate when

And when they're speaking of a client yeah.

Oh, good point.

Yeah.

I mean, there was so much in here, you know, like $300 a pop, like, I don't

I'm really trying to separate my immediate gut reaction, which is just like, Ew gross.

Why are you flaunting money?

Like

this?

It's.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think that the person should have responded in negatively and the way that, like

Cause they seem like they're really above everybody else and they

And while.

I feel on the one hand, be rich bitch.

Yeah.

Make your money like be a CEO.

Like I'm supporting that.

I don't, I don't think that you should live small, you know, if you've made

But there's something about this that just feels it's a turnoff.

It is interesting to me because it does seem that a mall is presenting a

So what's interesting to me is why would you not have made a reservation,

because they explicitly said that they like to sit at the bar,

but would you do that like with a client?

I mean, I guess I'm all done, so it doesn't matter if I

I guess a mall does.

Or like in this case, was it a client?

I mean, I was impressed by the two bottles of wine for two people.

I was like, all right, we are committing to a bottle each at the beginning.

God.

Well, it says two bottles of White burgundy, is that wine

burgundy wine

like red wines or a white wine,

I know that's how I thought white burgundy.

but you're right.

I'm all does say my friend.

They don't say client

Right?

So like, I think maybe a mall and this friend like to

What do you think of the no standing rim?

I think it's weird.

Okay.

So white burgundy wines are referred to as white burgundies are Chardonnay

Oh, burgundy.

Oh God.

Okay.

I didn't even So it's like from burgundy, it's white it's Chardonnay.

That is from burgundy.

But that makes me think that they know what they're talking about.

Like.

Yeah.

I don't know.

You know, there is a certain caliber of people.

I think this is an expensive place.

If I'm thinking of the right place in my mind, like this is like a

it has a fancy swanky place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So just trying to put into my mind what can be gathered from this Review!

if I am, this was, you said it was one, sorry.

One-Star-Zinger.

So if I am looking up this restaurant, I'm deciding whether or not I want to go there.

I look to the one stars right away.

Cause I'm like, I don't want to see any red flags that I'm not comfortable with.

If I read this Review!

one, what am I gathering?

And two, is it a deal breaker?

I don't think it's a deal breaker for attending the restaurant.

It's just so interesting to me, because I think the conceit of this Review!

is very specific.

Like, I don't know it, I, I would imagine that if it is a fancy restaurant and they then like having

When was this Review!

written.

in 2013.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

Cool.

For a second, when you said that I'm like, is this a COVID thing now?

But like, I mean, I get them all his point was like, why didn't they go and check?

they said people were standing.

Right.

I don't know.

Do we believe that?

Do we think that's truthful or do we think

Did that shady

what's occurring to me?

Is that a mall was offended by the pub comment,

for sure.

like a lower class phrase.

Like, I mean, I guess.

Okay.

Because it doesn't occur that.

It.

I mean like, cause the implication there is like, we don't have standing room because like we don't

pack them in.

It's just.

Getting the alcohol and being loud and obnoxious or whatever.

I dunno, like any kind of stereotypes that come along with it specifically to somebody

You know, even if, for me, it was like, oh, go to a pub or maybe you would be like, all right, cool.

Yeah, we should go to a pub.

But for somebody like this, that is like, you want me to go to a lower class establishment?

Excuse me?

What are you saying?

Like, uh, might not good enough for you?

Is my money not good enough for you?

Well, it's interesting to me because I think choosing a Julia Roberts quote

And so they get be pretentious and say, you.

Judge me by the cover of the book.

like, I wouldn't choose that character to explain that I'm Heike.

I actually am high class and you've made a huge mistake because I dropped $300.

You know what I mean?

Like I would, I wouldn't

It's an interesting point.

yes.

point in the Zeit guys as an expression, like anybody in any situation

And the bakery line, big mistake, big, huge.

I would've bought you out.

Like, I don't know, like any, anything can be compared to that.

So it's sort of like a trite thing to say in the first place.

Like, oh, your business is so unbelievable.

It's really placing yourself at the center of a narrative that feels on point for him.

All right.

Like I think Amal is very much the center of a.

And I think that the only thing that I can latch onto in terms of a takeaway that I'm

So that's something that I would want to know like, oh, oh, good to know.

Okay.

So if we can't get a seat at the bar, then I should have a backup plan, you know?

Cause there is no standing room.

Like that's like.

Good information.

the unfortunate thing about this Review!

is that it's so buried beneath just heavy piles, reeking of pretension.

And I'm starting to doubt whether or not anyone that was going to this

I don't know.

So I just went to 11 Madison Park's website and they take reservations for the bar.

Oh, interesting.

'cause my thought was while you were just saying.

Is if there No.

standing room, I wonder if they take reservations.

So once again, here I am.

I think the value here is that if you want to go here, you need to prepare

I think lots of places are like that can't just expect to pop in.

I also think the information within this Review!

I don't know if it's common, is that.

It seems to me that a mall was offended and then wanted to publicly punish the

So to me, it sort of all occurs a little bit like this is shady, like they're wanting retribution.

Correct.

They're waving their money around in a way that feels very gross and

Like, because I'm so wealthy and you pissed off the wrong broad

It's also weird to end with.

I will no longer stop in for my overpriced yet.

Perfect.

Weekly martini.

Like it's weird to like stick it to them by telling them that their martini is a

But your stuff is great.

Yeah, no, that's interesting too.

Cause it's like, obviously once again, we have someone that is very emotional about this

You know, whether, because you know, you're too prideful or whatever it is that you

I think there is a bit of sadness that comes with that.

Like, oh, I'll never be able to experience that martini that I love or that food that I love

Quite frankly,

And I think that is echoed and using ending with the phrase idiots.

Um, all feels emotionally burned.

Yeah.

I guess.

I just, I guess there's a class that I feel like I'm adding onto the story.

I feel like multiple times a mall is mentioning status and class and wealth

Like, I think you could, if you were really like, you've made a mistake, I

I happy to attend and I don't know.

I feel like there's a way to express how this was damaging to the restaurant because of my

Oh 100%.

And I feel like that's something that we come across all the time,

Of the ones that are Review!, which is that if you go too far on the Karen side

Even if you have a point that is worthy of saying, it's why James longtime

When we read the review, it did seem truthful because.

James peppered in.

I love this place.

I, I, the drinks are great.

This is, you know, set enough things that you're like, okay, now I'm

Whereas if you just stay in that same bitter tone the entire time, even if it

Which I get, you know, like I haven't written a lot of reviews, but I've sat with

But at the end of the day, in order to be effective, you can't just blow the steam off.

Well, it off blow off the lid, blow the lid

I also just want to the last point here it?

blow the lid off.

Blow

If all the little.

Like mall's ending statement as we don't expect anything more than a

I think they use the word, Oh you know, we have a lot of pubs surrounding us go to a pub.

Like you can go there, like, and was internalized as so offensive.

But even your review about French laundry that I feel like they were treated much worse than

Oh yeah.

So it's really just like, what's going on.

And there's just the spelling of Sabbat.

I even explain.

It's just like, it's a mess.

I think I'm ready to crown.

you

it.

All right.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crowd cards and an effort

We will simultaneously reveal our white burgundy ratings.

The Queens are Tabulating.

Oh, I almost did one.

Okay.

I broke our streak of being completely unanimous.

I'm holding up half ground tray is holding a blood count.

I was very close to holding up one because I knew you were going to do that.

But I had a stick with my guts and say, Half crown from our QC for everything that's already

I just don't think it's a very valuable Review!.

I think it's very slanted and unfortunately it makes them all look really bad.

Um, and it doesn't make by proxy almost ends up making the restaurant look

So that's why I had to go with a half crown.

Why did you go with a full crown from.

I went with a full ground because ultimately I feel that.

I have now done more research on this restaurant that I'd never heard of before.

And I recognize to have reservations.

We didn't talk about this and the Review!, but it is also annoying that I'm all

And I really think so much of this was about.

Uh, malls pocketbook rather than restaurant itself.

So I went with one because I learned you need a reservation otherwise.

Wow.

But I ha I do think them all is hilarious and they are w there's a wealth of hilarious reviews.

So maybe in a year when we do repeat offenders again, I will come back within

Or whenever you want, you know, we don't need to have a special

Try anytime.

You'd like, you want to bring another I'm all in.

I'm ready to let.

All right.

I love that.

All right.

Well, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show Chelsey.

Who are you inducting today for?

My Royal

Highness!

Thanks for asking Trey.

So today I'm going to induct Venmo and Zelle just because.

What did we do before Venmo and Zelle?

I remember there were so many occasions where I would go out with like a girlfriend or somebody

I'll pay you back.

And then you would never get paid back.

fact that that can't happen anymore, that like nobody can ever just try to skimp out

Is such a gift that would never have happened without Venmo and now Zelle,

But really Venmo, I think, took the lip, you know, broke the lid up.

I don't guys, why are these expressions with lids?

Um, but yeah, lids, but which will be another thing, but no, I mean, Venmo really

Do things together and not have to make servers crazy, certainly by

So much of our lives have been made easier by these money, digital transfers, um, like Venmo.

And for that reason, I wanted to nominate Venmo as My Royal Highness.

It's a really good induction.

I remember when I first moved to the north from the south where, and the south

And they would, but then you would New York and they're like, we won't split it more than.

So then it was like, there was, there was a time what are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

Right.

It's like, do you have cash?

You have hash.

I don't know if cash.

Yeah.

It's like a whole

much easier.

Yeah.

And because it's instant,

Yeah, exactly.

It's incent.

Zell's great.

Cause Zell's really instant.

I mean I've yeah, it's sell makes it really easy, but yeah, I, I'm not longing for a day

I remember when I first moved to New York and I needed, I was short for my rant.

And I remember having to go to a bodega to get a Western union

my God.

Exactly.

Can you imagine if she could have just held you?

I wonder if Western union even exists anymore, It has to.

does.

It definitely does.

But I wonder if it's going to cease to exist at a certain point,

I don't know.

I feel like there's always going to be people that need that kind of thing.

but like when was the last time you got a phone book?

Last time I had a phone book, do they even print phone books anymore?

I don't know.

Cause that's something you would think.

Well, there's gotta be people that like still use phone

books, but when was the time you saw one?

I haven't seen one.

You're right.

So maybe it will become obsolete.

I'm sure everything will be, I mean, I'm sure money itself printed is going to become

I'm kind of ready.

Let's do it.

yeah.

Wow.

mean, I guess in that, at that point, just invest it all in gold and if you're paranoid,

Well, we did at queen that is another round on the argue and

Yes, what a great birthday celebration.

Thank you for joining me for my birthday today.

Thank you for listening to the show.

If you enjoy what you hear, please tell a friend.

Okay.

Give, give me a little birthday gift.

Share the podcast with that person that you told you would share it with.

And then you forgot to text them.

Just go ahead and share the podcast, please,

And if you didn't like what you heard telling enemy, please.

give Chelsey a little birthday gift.

Go ahead and tell that into me that you said you were in a towel, but then you forgot.

And then you did answer.

Go ahead and do it.

Yes.

If you'd like to support the production of our show, which the show is completely self

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date

Or a hit up our voicemail box 1 8 5 0 REVIEW 0.

You can follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens.

And I'm at @ChelseyBD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

And I'm at @TreyGerrald.

On today's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing a five star review

stay tuned for that.

It's a blue for you.

I know a friend did send this to me,

Oh my God.

read it.

I know.

So if, if you want to find out what made Trey say

She wants the good Juju for her, for JJ, with that pleasure, passion, lib.

And if you want to find out what made Chelsey say

great for nursing homes.

Then join our Patreon over@Patreon.com slash Review That Review

That's true.

and happy birthday to Chelsey.

And for Chelsey's birthday gift, please remember

Ignore the haters.

You're a queen.

gender nonspecific, Chelsey Donn birthday gift Yellowpages Western union, a mall.

Birthday queen.

Yes.

Bring me that $300 burgundy queen.

bye.

Review That Review is an independent podcast, certain names have been

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing

with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky.

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

Bye

If we had a Review That Review candle, what do you think it would be?

Irish pub.

I Irish Pub!

I think it would be $300 burgundy, personally.

We should do both,

Yes.

Oh, we should see which one sells better.

Okay.

I feel like I would just want the $300 white burgundy can't!'

But maybe the Irish pub smells delicious.