Welcome to the first participant episode of Season Three, where we dive into Amy's journey and her challenges with meal planning and food management. Amy recognizes that her relationship with food is more complicated than it seems, and she’s seeking help to create a better routine that works for her unique needs. As she shares her story, we explore the impact of neurodiversity on her approach to cooking and eating, highlighting how her busy lifestyle and anxiety can complicate even the simplest tasks. Join us as we uncover Amy's struggles and triumphs, and set the stage for her transformation throughout this season. Expect a blend of heartfelt conversation and playful humor as we navigate the intricacies of home life and self-care together.

Takeaways:

• This episode introduces Amy, our first participant, who is navigating her food challenges.
• Amy's journey highlights the importance of meal planning for those with neurodiversity.
• The hosts stress that it's okay to seek help when facing personal struggles.
• Listeners are reminded that self-care is crucial for being able to help others.
• The conversation emphasizes the need for simple, structured meal planning strategies.
• Sarah suggests pairing cooking with enjoyable activities to make it more engaging.

For more No Shame In The Home Game:

iTunes

Spotify

Instagram

Facebook

Website

Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

More from the Joyful Support Movement

The Joyful Support Network Podcasts

Join the Joyful Support Village

Home Management for Everyone Course

Sign up for your Weekly Dose of Joy Newsletter

Sponsor Joy and Create a Joy Ripple

Welcome to no Shame in the Home Game, the podcast that cares how your home feels, not looks.

I am Lacey, your co host.

Mostly in support today because this is a Sarah show, as we are jumping into our first participant or only participant of the season.

But I will introduce Sarah, the co host who does know what's going on.

Hi, Sarah.

Hi, Lacy.

No, we're definitely co hosts.

I don't want to do this by myself.

Really weird.

When I was editing the episode with Amy and not hearing your voice, it just felt naked.

And I was like, this doesn't feel right.

And it's so funny because having you around keeps things more lighthearted.

And I was like, yeah, no, it's just not the same magic without Lacey, though.

I'm excited to listen.

Along with our listeners, we have one live participant this season whose story we're following.

Her name's Amy, and you'll meet her and she's lovely.

It's mostly just with Sarah because of scheduling and all that.

This is our first episode with Amy.

What it I.

Here I am trying to introduce it and I'm like, I didn't do it.

You need to talk, Sarah.

I think you gotta just listen.

I don't want to give it away.

It's.

Her name is Amy, which we've said.

And she already knew her pain point, which was different.

Most times.

People don't know.

She knew right away that it had to do with food.

And as with all of our previous participants and with all the clients they work with, it really unfolds into more than just food, as with life.

So here we are, already getting deep.

But yes, it's Amy.

It's food.

That's all I've got.

All right, let's jump into Amy's story.

We'll hear the second part of Amy's story in a few weeks.

This season, we're doing a little ping ponging of different types of episodes.

You'll hear follow ups from previous seasons, some Q and A's with Sarah and myself, and Amy's story.

So let's jump in and start Amy's story.

Welcome, Amy, Season three participant.

I'm so glad you're here.

Thank you for sharing your time and sharing your story with us.

Would you like to share with the audience who you are, where you are, your brief blurb that you would give to a stranger?

Yeah, sure.

It comes out different every time, so I'll see which blurb you get today.

But my name is Amy, I am 46, and I am a single gal.

And that's how I Like it.

And so it's just me.

I have a small apartment with four cats who are my emotional support animals.

I have a generalized anxiety disorder and ADD now too.

So they are there to support me when they can.

Pretty much they follow me around like dogs would.

But they're cats.

But yeah, for like this one little posse in my small apartment.

I own my own small business.

So I work for myself now that's going on two years.

So most of everything I do when I struggle, it's me and I am home with my cats and it's me and stuff.

Always adapting to.

I know you guys talk a lot about the support, letting those people in and yeah, I am.

Other than that, I'm a big time geek, self proclaimed.

I'm techie, I'm creative and I love a good shower.

But yet I get stuck in the challenges sometimes just trying to.

I want to know every little task and if I can't get them in the right order, get stuck at one of them, it throws it all off.

But yeah, that's my nutshell today that.

I love that nutshell.

That was a beautiful nutshell.

And so for the listeners too.

Amy and I live in the same area in upstate New York.

So this is a little behind the scenes.

I know Amy in real life, although she is asking for help and sometimes it's hard for her to ask for help, she is also one of the most helpful people to others.

So it's one of those things where you're always putting others before you.

And I'm glad that you're letting me help you now.

Yes.

Because I totally admit it's one of those things where if you're helping others that you don't have to stop and realize what you're not to treat yourself.

And you're like, I'm just gonna help this person and I can let that slide for myself because.

And I know we all do that.

And everything, but what's important.

And again, our listeners, they may not resonate with every participant and they may only resonate with a slice of it, but the importance of putting yourself as a priority, taking care of yourself and whatever that looks like.

Because the more you take care of yourself and I know how much you love to help others, the more you feel good inside, the more you can actually show up and help others.

So it really, it's not selfish at all.

Your sanity and your, like, how you feel is just as important.

And I loved picturing you and your cats roaming around as like a gang.

And I was like, do you guys Have a logo or, like a name.

To work on that.

I'll slide that into my workload somewhere when I'm having one of those, like, creative jams, I'll be like, oh, let me make my Cat Posse logo.

That's a good idea.

We should have her on.

I just picture them, like with the jets and the Sharks.

I just picture them like it's west side Story.

Swaying their shoulders and their tail together as you, like, walk around the apartment.

Sway that.

They're what you need to get through life.

And that's the thing, is finding what each person needs.

And it's going to be different than your neighbor to get through life.

And so you had expressed to me a need around meal planning.

We already knew sometimes with our participants, we get to discover where the pain point is.

But you were very clear.

You're like, food is not working for me.

And I love a plan.

And I like how you already said you like a challenge, but sometimes you said you get stuck inside the challenge.

And that's where I come in and I look at all the pieces.

It's just a riddle.

And we just have to figure out what your solution is for your riddle.

So tell me about food.

Yeah.

So again, learning about myself, we're.

I'm always evolving.

And being a thinking seeker and problem solver myself is always a big project.

I comfortable knowing I have a near divergent brain, but just still learning the ins and outs of that is.

Is.

Is a challenge.

But so I see.

And even remembering that now, my train of thought, I was gonna say, my focus just goes.

So anyways, so, yeah, being a single person who doesn't have to cook for anyone, who works freely on my own schedule, I do basically a 9 to 5.

But I have the flexibility in my schedule.

You would think it'd be easy to just be like, oh, I got this for lunch and this.

But no.

So my meal planning right now, the level it's at is my stomach growls and I go, oh, I must be hungry.

Oh, do I have some?

What do I have?

Oh, I'm at the office.

Yes.

And then by the time I go through all the little things, okay, do I have something to eat?

Do I want to go get something?

Going through the checklist, I end up just getting annoyed and skipping that meal till my stomach rumbles again.

And I know the whole concept of meal planning.

Like, I get it, I read things, but it doesn't just, I can't make it work for me yet.

And the way that my brain gets stuck on certain things, like Thinking, like just sitting here thinking, okay, so to meal plan, I need to know like, what I want to eat, which means, like, I should make a list to go to the grocery store, which means I should have this.

So already like thinking as if list is evolving in my head.

Like, I.

After three things, I'm like, oh my God, that's.

It's too many things.

I want to see the whole picture, but yet I get stuck at what stage I need to do it.

So right now it's just a free for all.

I even.

I can't right now organize myself enough even like to go to the grocery store to know what I want.

I literally like wander the aisles and then I'm still like, nope.

Like, I end up buying like food for a day.

Cause I just, yeah, I'll scroll and find all these on Facebook.

Suddenly this dish appears and I'm like, oh, that looks good.

I'm like, oh, you need these seven things.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't have any of those.

And.

But it's not like I stop and write it down.

So then next time.

Yeah.

So this whole example of me even speaking through this is how the process works.

And again, this is as much to validate you as a listener.

Yes, yes.

Even neurodiversity or not, it's a lot.

It's a lot like we, when we're hungry, we just want to eat.

And so when you're asking just like the average human, what you're talking about is a lot, then you layer upon that the add, which the way I understand, sometimes some ADD brains work.

It's not actually being stuck, it's actually that you're thinking in so many directions at once.

It's not linear.

You're actually problem solving three dimensional chess.

Most people wouldn't be able to actually comprehend how much you are processing.

So I don't see it as much as getting stuck as there's just no linear format for your thinking.

I'm trying to make a logical order of it and.

But I get lost in the process just because again, it's just I keep being, oh, but do I have a container that's clean?

Oh, and then I need to do the dishes because if I'm going to bring something that I planned, then I said, I just freak out and I sit with the cats and we roam around the apartment.

I always say discomfort is the red flag.

And you found your red flag and it's just what it is.

There's no need to feel bad or shame.

Just go, this needs Attention.

If your car is making a funny noise, you would take it to the mechanic, and they would diagnose and fix it.

Red flag.

And that's fine.

And then, yeah, you layer in the add, and then you layer in that flexibility, which.

It's so true.

People often think when you have this, like, open palate, it's like, the world is your oyster.

No, actually, that's too many options.

And now I'm freaking the F out, because having actually some parameters, it's actually easier.

Instead of going, which of these hundred ketchup brands do I want?

If there's only three, it's a lot easier.

So you are.

You, my friend, have a couple of uphill battles.

Now, let's remove meal planning, and let's just talk about being in the kitchen.

Let's say everything was there for you.

The containers are clean.

You've got all the utensils.

How do you feel about preparing food?

Cooking, baking?

Is there any joy there, or does it all feel not great?

I don't like to spend a lot of time making a meal if it's not ready.

I'm gonna say 15 minutes.

I'm already annoyed because again, right now it's.

I'm already hungry.

So then the hanger sets in, and I'm like, I'm not gonna cook something for 45 minutes of now.

Just.

But, yeah, so the kitchen and I are not close.

I avoid my kitchen.

I'm not even gonna lie.

It's a little bit of a hot mess right now just because I think I've been avoiding it on purpose again, just struggling.

And that's part of, oh, I'm gonna top Sarah, get my act together and feel better, even just about being in there.

But, yeah, I'm totally impatient prepping meals for myself.

I don't mind cooking.

It's not that I don't want to.

In fact, I always like growing up, when I was in middle school and high school, both my parents worked.

So it got to the point they'd come home at five.

But when I got old enough, they would be.

My mom would leave out the ingredients and be like, start dinner.

Like, I learned how to cook in a.

And the funny thing is, I know how to cook for four people because that's how many roots in my family.

So for the longest time, I was like, I could eat this for two weeks.

That was okay back then, but I actually just.

In the way my life has evolved now and stuff, I just.

Again, I don't know if it's just because there's so Many things going through my head and I just.

I have an impatience where I know if I had some of it organized, it might be better if I did have a plan going in to cook something.

But yeah, and like I don't even know why I haven't leaned on like the crock pot thing.

I don't even ever think of that.

That's something that cooking wise, it could do it while I'm not even there.

But again, throwing that into the mix or it get started is just a whole.

So a couple of thoughts that will help paint the picture for anyone listening who doesn't have experience with anyone who has neurodiversity.

One of the things I know about people with add, there's this interesting desire or not desire.

Tendency is the right word.

I call it like 0 or 110.

I'm either going to go for.

I'm either not going to get up off this couch and go for a walk or I'm going to go run for 60 minutes wearing a weight belt uphill.

It's 0 or 110.

There isn't a ton of.

There isn't a ton of in between.

And I get that your brain just isn't.

That's not its natural tendency.

We are going to look at layering in slowly, which is going to go against what your brain wants to do, but it's going to help you in the long run if you get used to, I don't know, cooking rice.

And it just.

It's just cook rice.

Everything else can come out of a can or the freezer, but just cook the rice, right?

And then we can step in.

So think about layering really slowly.

You're not going to go to a clothing store every day and walk through every single rack and decide what to wear every day from thousands of choices, right?

You go to your closet, you have X number of shirts, X number of pants.

So we're just.

We're going to really limit and layer.

And I hear you saying, so you do know how to cook, but you get impatient.

How much of the impatience is tied to I'm hungry and how much of the impatience is tied to I'm bored?

I would say it's more.

It's probably more like 3, 4.

Boredom, 1/4 angry.

But yeah, I think I never thought it was that way, but it is.

It's like waiting for that to process so I can eat it.

So two thoughts there.

One is pairing cooking with an enjoyable activity.

So something, a podcast, a TV show.

I don't know if you can get your cats to somehow cook with you.

But pairing, oh, doing it with a friend.

If you could align up your meals with a friend, you're doing it with somebody else.

I actually have a client with ADD who introduced me to a doubling app where sometimes just having somebody doing the same thing.

And so inside the app you can say I'm folding clothes or I'm washing dishes and then that sometimes will help people.

So pairing first of all and then second of all, from our episode with Corey, who's the executive functioning specialist who I did a program with for Home management for Neurodiversity.

She helped me understand how people with add, they need more.

I called it like coins.

If you go to an arcade, some games need one or two coins, some need eight coins.

And like for people with ADD doing a boring task like cooking, you need more coins to do it.

You need more reward, stimulation.

That's just how your brain works.

So part of that is you really examining okay, If I take 40 minutes on Sunday to prep some food, then I will have food and I really want that.

So it's going through the mental steps of knowing why you are doing it because you're not going to do it.

If somebody else just says you should do it because that's not going to work.

Yeah, hasn't yet.

I have a couple of questions.

Tell me before we get into more of the mental aspect.

Tell me about anything food goals.

Besides not getting hungry and then not having something, are there any.

I want to eat more vegetables, I want to eat more protein, I want to try to eat three times a day.

What are any food goals that we that I need to consider when moving forward?

I mean honestly just eating in general because right now I if I was to stop and think I probably eat maybe one and a half meals a day at some point.

So just knowing that I I don't know, just getting to enough to sustain myself through the day and what my body naturally needs anyways that I'm probably depriving it of.

I'm definitely.

I'm not.

I'm not a morning person.

My breakfast has to either travel in my car on my 15 minute Kimi or I just eat it at my desk.

I'm good with cereals and things.

Breakfast isn't a huge idea problem just because there are easier things to do breakfast wise that I actually just started trying the overnight oats company and I like those but again now that's.

Oh, did I wash the thing last?

Making sure I'm prepped for that.

So breakfast isn't really too bad of a thing.

I don't need to focus on it too much.

I do just need to be better at doing it.

But because I just, like I said, not a morning person.

So I just get up and go.

If I find.

If I'm like hanging around the house and start thinking of things, I can't think, I have to just start going somewhere.

So off to work it goes.

Yeah, it's really just again, so I'm usually not at home for lunches, but I'm home for dinner.

Just knowing where I am at a meal time of what options, how far ahead I have to think and plan to be able to just have that meal and be there.

So then when I'm hungry I just literally turn to the side.

It's right there.

Definitely.

We want it to be as no brainer as that.

I love fresh foods.

I love fruits and vegetables.

Again, when I do buy them, it's either I forgot they're in my fridge or it's not that I don't want to eat them, it's just I forgot about them and then they don't last.

So it's okay.

I won't buy them as much because I know, like I said, I tend to buy food for two days at a time sometimes just because it's just easier and it's.

I know it's not going to be a waste or anything, but yeah, I'm not too worried about what I'm eating per se.

It's just getting there.

I would like to have a balanced diet.

Of course I get all that in, but there's no real restrictions.

I just want to have my options and be prepared.

So in general, Monday through Friday.

Yes, you do go to an office.

9 to 5 ish.

Yep.

And then.

And you've got flexibility with your time, but roughly.

And then what about Saturday and Sunday?

Is there any routine to your weekend or is it every Saturday and Sunday is a little different?

It's a little different.

There's no real routine.

My DC and family might be doing something on my own.

It's just, it's the weekend so I just shut my brain off for the most part and don't like to think.

But again, even being home, if I am in that it's the weekend road again, it might not be till 2 o'clock where I'm like, oh, I didn't eat anything yet because even though it's possibly there, it's.

It's just not part of my routine almost.

Do you have any sort of.

I don't know what technology you utilize.

Do you have any kind of timers or prompts that you use?

Yes.

So I have an alarm on my phone.

It goes off every two hours and they're all labeled.

I tend to start work at 9.

So, like my first alarm goes up at 10 to be able to eat.

To remind me, did you eat breakfast by that point?

And then at noon it says.

I think it says, do you eat a snack?

Just based on my day.

Noon, for some people might be like, oh, why haven't you eaten lunch?

But that's just how I'm a little bit behind in that.

Or I mean, just because that's how my body.

I'm not a morning person.

I'm not.

I'm up between 8 and 9, so that's my natural progression of things.

But.

And then, like I said, so every two hours.

So at 2:00, it's did you eat lunch, dinner?

At 4:00, it's, did you have a snack?

And at 6:00.

So I do have those go off every day.

And every day I look at it and I shut it off.

Just stop the alarm.

And that's great.

We're going to piggyback on.

You already have alarms?

Yes.

That's great.

How do you feel about checklists?

Do you work well with A, B, C, D, E, F, or does that make your skin crawl?

It's really funny because I go back and forth on it.

There's times where I am like, checklist is amazing.

And I try to always, whenever I can, I'm in a checklist zone and doing it.

It's always.

It's all about crossing off.

I do overwhelm myself because I do go and overthink, like I said, all the details.

So like, someone's checklist with four things might actually be the same four things for me.

But I might write it down.

It might end up being 20 items included, all these little.

So sometimes, as I said, I still struggle with that because there's instances where I do a checklist and it works great.

And maybe it works for a few months, but then it stops working for me, but then it starts working on something else.

But yeah, it is weird, like I said, but it is more fulfilling to me to cross something off and overwhelming to see them all.

Ooh, okay.

To see the long list, it's overwhelming.

But I do like to cross the loss, the list.

Human nature.

Yes.

But there is a bit of that reward hormone of crossing something off.

So that's good.

That's part of those I talked about the coins in the arcade machine.

That's part of the coinage there.

So that.

No, this is all good.

Going back to foods that you like and dislike.

Let's go.

I want to make sure I don't ever recommend something you disagree buy.

So tell me and everyone listening.

No judgments.

We all have our own personal taste buds.

But I can't help you if I'm recommending foods that you apply for.

Yes.

No, tell me what you dislike.

First of all, I'm not really allergic to anything.

Herbert bees are preference.

Did you say do or do not?

She already was not even focused.

Or don't like?

First tell me what you don't like.

Like if it's a buffet, it's a buffet and you are absolutely not putting it on your plate.

No, but I don't eat any seafood.

No fish or seafood.

I just don't like it.

Tried it, don't like it.

I have weird things like I don't like ketchup.

Everyone who loves ketchup.

I don't eat most tomato products.

I don't like tomatoes.

I like them in salsa and that's about it.

I don't even really care for them.

On pizza.

I like to replace that with other toppings.

But I'm not a big sauce fan of red sauce tomato based things.

Besides that.

Those are my big ones that come up.

Yeah.

Otherwise I don't.

I'm always willing to try something if I haven't tried it.

I feel like I was limited growing up even in trying foods because my dad liked meat and potatoes.

It was not a lot of variety or spice.

And it's been a fun in my adult years trying new things that I always thought I didn't like.

Baby.

Because either my parents never introduced it or my mom just didn't cook that way.

But it was.

It's always fun to try new things.

But yeah, condiments in general.

I'm not a big condiment person.

Mayo, mustard, I don't need it.

But food wise otherwise, pretty much.

So things like grapes, apples, oranges, bananas.

Yep.

Okay.

Pretty much all fruits.

I eat all fruits that I could think of.

The common ones.

And vegetable?

Vegetable.

Game on.

You'll do a salad?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, I like salad.

Especially with like chicken in it.

So you know, I do know some things that I like.

Okay.

And then how about you?

You mentioned overnight oats, which is great.

Yes, I'm trying that now.

There is some packaging.

Yeah, there is some like container thought aheadness.

How about nuts, almonds, Cashews?

Yep.

I like Most nuts.

Yeah, I can't think of one.

I, I don't care for rice pasta.

I.

It's all right.

I don't eat a lot of it.

Like I don't know, I just am not nothing.

I.

It's not like my first choice.

It's like my college kid choice.

I call it my toddler on a box of pasta.

So I could kid something this week but.

But it's not an everyday.

I don't have any Italian.

I don't think I have Italian in makeup.

I don't like red sauce or pasta that much.

So the.

If you did, you might have been kicked out by now.

And how about meat?

Chicken?

Pork?

Beef.

Yeah, huge chicken.

I'll eat chicken every day.

I'm fine with that.

Love chicken.

Pork is fine.

I don't tend to make it for myself but it's not that it's not an option.

I just don't.

I just, I.

Chicken goes with everything.

Work a little black dress chicken so it's.

You can do it anywhere.

Oh wait, you meant you said something that made me think of something.

You said chicken every day, little black dress.

Do you get bored of repetition with food?

After a few days is like my limit.

So I could eat the same thing maybe for I'm gonna say three days and after that I'm like oh my God, what am I doing?

So to a limit I can.

So it's okay if I make something when I do actually make something if I make enough for two meals.

But I don't necessarily like eating leftovers, especially if you have to reheat it.

But if it's.

If I ate a salad and I made enough for three days, that's good.

But I wouldn't want to have that same exact salad the fourth day.

I could eat salad if it had different ingredient, different dressing ingredients in it.

But so what about.

Not that we're going to do this.

I'm just trying to figure out what if every Monday it was the same thing every Tuesday, every Wednesday.

So you're not eating it four days in a row but every Monday, every Tuesday, every Wednesday.

Possibly.

Yeah, I haven't thought about that.

But so possibly.

Okay.

The only other, the other thing that I'm just remembering now is I don't, I do have a lactose issue.

So I stay away from.

I can eat dairy.

I just like I, I am a cheese fan but I limited to the harder cheeses that don't disrupt my digestive system and I drink lactose free milk but I don't do a Lot of yogurt to another.

I don't do a lot of dairy just because my system doesn't really like it.

What do you feel about beans?

Black beans, kidney beans, pinto beans, garbanzo?

That's a good question.

I am not a huge bean person because of the texture, but I do.

I like black beans in things, but not a lot.

If I go to.

If I go to Moe's, I would just say sprinkle a little black beans on my Sedita.

Not the whole spoon, not the full spoon.

Just a little bit.

That's gonna be your new moniker.

Not a full spoon of black beans.

Amy?

Yeah, so I was trying to think of, just for example, if you did the salad, but you get bored if it's the same salad.

And I was like, oh, you could rotate proteins.

You really prefer chicken.

Beans are a great protein, but you don't like the texture, so that's not really an option.

And you did mention you have a crock pot that you're willing to use.

Yeah, it's somewhere in my kitchen cabinet.

It's a very nice one.

It's got Pixar characters on it.

How about grilling?

Is that ever fun?

Or.

It's not really an option just because of where my apartment complex doesn't have.

I don't have an outdoor space at all, but it's just not something.

And then tell me about your rhythm with going to the grocery store every once or two days.

Do you like that or do you want to eliminate that?

Because there's actually no right or wrong here.

It's what works for you.

Yeah.

So in my situation, being a freelancer that I am, sometimes it's a budgetary thing, too.

It's hard to always look ahead.

Like, I have some steady clients and stuff when I'm not just getting a paycheck every Friday.

I do sometimes have to consider.

Sometimes it's easier for me getting just a few days worth of food because I'm budgeting that way.

But I don't mind, I think, thinking about it, I think, Julie, I'd rather go twice a week and spend less time there through the whole process than going.

And that's just an example, however much time.

But I.

I don't want to necessarily go down every aisle and spend a lot of time.

But even if I just.

If I knew again, yeah, I'd rather get stuff that I don't especially like this season when you tend to like.

If you're like me, you want to eat all the fresh vegetables and fruits and stuff and I'd rather make sure they were fresh and not buy enough for a week and then have cope ahead some.

And so thinking about you and your needs and what you've said.

Yeah.

Going twice a week is actually great.

It's eliminating walking down every aisle and just zooming in and narrowing into exactly what you need.

Yeah.

If I knew.

If I was like, all right, I need stuff for these three meals, for example, knowing I could go in, just get those things and be done in 10 minutes, it's fine.

I don't mind stopping and getting out of my car and doing those things.

I'd rather do that than plan out for the month.

And.

Oh, no.

So I was actually picturing either.

I was actually picturing laminated card.

I have the laminator.

I have my own laminator.

Let's just say.

So soul sisters.

Okay.

Or it could be on your phone.

But what I'm picturing is just for food.

This isn't accounting for.

Let me back up.

Are you aware the grocery store is in four sections?

It's.

I don't want.

You know what I'm gonna say for anyone?

I'm gonna say for anyone listening Good.

Yes.

Anyone listening who may not know.

And this is how my grocery list works.

It's produce, and then you have your cold and frozen, your dry goods.

Things that are shelf stable are in the center.

And then you have your health and beauty, which is all non food, toilet paper, shampoo, cat food, everything else.

So what I'm picturing for you, and I'm not even going into making a grocery list.

I'm not thinking about, do you need trash bag?

I'm just thinking about what are you going to eat for two or three days?

And I'm picturing a shortcut laminated card because you got a laminator of prompts.

So in the produce aisle, it would just be like prompts.

And then you just look at it and go, what do I want to eat for two days?

Oh, I'm going to pick one of these and one of these.

And then it would have a prompt for.

Let's see, like the salad.

Yeah.

So like a fruit, a salad, and then chicken.

So it would just be a prompt card.

Because of the way your brain works, you need those guardrails.

So you just pull up your card and then you just go, okay, for two, three days, what do I want to eat?

And you look at the card.

You don't look at the whole grocery store.

That's too much.

It's like a choose Your own adventure book, like, 100%.

Choose your own.

Yeah, that's what it is.

Do you want to go left or right?

Basically, yeah.

But that is it the only part.

And then this takes me to the next step, the only part that we're going to need to work out.

And you mentioned the budgetary part.

So we're in a great place in humanity in that there are so many prepared foods, either frozen or in the deli section.

However, you pay a premium for prepared foods.

What's great is the nutrition is there in spades.

So finding the line between when or how often you pay the premium for prepared foods and when do you buckle down?

And I was going to say hack, but I don't want to say hack.

When do you figure out your own personal, like, arcade coinage of how do you buckle down and use the crock pot?

How do you buckle down?

Because you said.

What I like is you said, growing up, your mom would leave you a recipe you could cook for four people.

And what's awesome is a lot of meals.

Okay, I'm gonna eat this for two days in a row, and I'm gonna freeze these other two portions, and then you can.

Chicken freezes so well.

If you put a whole thing of chicken thighs in the oven, you eat chicken thighs for a couple of days, slice up the rest, and freeze them.

And again, I don't want you to get overwhelmed.

Do I have a freezing package?

Do I have a cutting board?

Don't go there.

We're going to layer in so slowly.

So my job is to see a path, but then deliver it to you in bite size.

Amy, pieces.

Perfect.

So do not do.

Please don't.

I trust you.

I might for a minute, but I'm like, nope, it's all right.

We're going to get there.

So this is what happens in the process.

I get a ton of information, we talk to, and then I start to see a potential plan.

And then what I'm going to do is hone it down a little bit, and we're going to try a couple things, and it's going to work or it's not going to work, but either way, we're going to have more information.

If it doesn't work, we're going to figure out what about this isn't working, and then that helps me tailor it again.

Adventure.

Sometimes, Oregon Trail, you end up with dysentery.

You got to go back to the beginning.

You go back a few chapters and take the other turn.

So what's so important in this journey is that there's no shame.

If we try something and it shits the bed, I want you to come running back to me and go, red flag here on the play.

This was not a winter chicken dinner.

And I'll be like, great, we have more information, but we have to find the Amy personal plan that works for you.

So I usually need time to let it all percolate.

But I do want you to walk away with one thing that you can start doing or to help me get more information.

I'm trying to resist the urge to come to your apartment because it would be so helpful for me to see what you have.

I need to know, like, what you have.

Maybe you have.

You can totally come.

It's okay.

I would let you come.

I don't.

I.

Not everybody who participates on.

Well, we don't have to cut this part out.

No one has to know.

Okay, so for the podcast, we'll say you're going to send me some pictures.

You're going to open up your fridge and freezer and send me a picture.

I'm really going to come in real life and look at it and then open up your cabinets and see.

Because part of this is getting you to square one, right?

Yeah.

Taking stock of what you have.

I said, and that's part of it too, is just knowing there's different elements.

Again, I could, even if I was crumbling cooking it.

Oh, do I have enough pots and pans to keep her?

Like you said, just all the different elements.

So just picking the starting base and knowing where to go from there.

There's so little that we actually need in the kitchen.

You can re Utilize the same pot or pan or.

I was going to say, I am definitely the nature of myself being a single person.

And so we.

I take care of.

I literally have one frying pan, one small pot, one big pot.

Because I'm like, it's me.

I don't need some people chuckle but I'm like, why have three pots that are just slightly different?

I'm good.

And.

Oh, one last question.

I had.

I realized I had an aha moment today, which is I'm a grazer.

I don't think of breakfast separate from lunch, separate from dinner.

I look at what I eat in 24 hours and make it a complete package.

Sometimes I have a really big lunch and I have some nuts.

How do you feel?

Do you need that?

This is breakfast.

This is lunch.

This is dinner.

No, I have found.

Yeah, I have found in the past that it's better.

Almost thinking of six small, not necessary meals, but I don't necessarily want to stop and have those three big meals.

I'm fine saying at this two hour mark, this is what I'm having.

It doesn't have to be labeled as lunch.

I think our brains somewhat just do that.

You're like, here's breakfast, here's lunch.

If I eat in between, it's a snack, but it doesn't have to.

I don't care if I eat an apple for breakfast and then I decide two hours later I'm having eggs or something.

Yeah, except even a slice of pizza for breakfast.

Whatever.

So, yeah, so we're.

You really just want to make sure you're eating reliably.

Yes.

And not avoiding it because of the whole thought process behind it.

Perfect.

Oh, this is so great.

So, yes, we're going to take stock of what your starting point is.

We're going to focus on getting a beginner template of your choose your own adventure at the grocery store to help reduce the mental strain.

And then we're going to.

We'll interact in between episodes and we're going to try to hone in on a little bit more of a path.

And then we'll come back together and record again.

Do you have any final, like, questions or thoughts or anything that popped up that you want to share?

I don't think so.

I think I'm going to.

I'm looking forward to it.

And again, I know my nature.

I'll.

I'll feel a little overwhelmed.

But I.

I know that's just how I react.

So I, I know it's not a true thought.

You know, it's just my natural reaction.

But I'm.

I'm excited to ask for help in this area to see what I can improve on and not only just again for me to be healthier and just, yeah.

Not feel hungry all the time, because I just don't want to stop the food even doing that whole process.

So.

Yes.

Yes.

If we could all just have a personal chef.

Like, I know that's what I think of a lot of, like, if I just make more money to hire a pocket chef.

Oh, my top of the, like, extra income list would be personal chef 100%.

I would drive a crappy car driving personal chef to always be with you.

Like, your alarm goes off, you need to be able to turn around and they're like, right behind you and be like, I'm hungry now.

Yeah.

So maybe I'll have to turn into some sort of assistant.

But they just walk around with.

It's like Veep, like the bag person.

It's just somebody with like bags of like coolers and they're just.

Yeah.

You know, stuff like I'm a Tamagotchi and someone needs to just take care of 100.

So just be there, be ready.

We're going to do our best to make it as easy as possible.

Yeah.

We're going to see how far we get and I'm so glad that you opened up and we're willing to get help and that, that it's possible even though you can't see it, that there is a possibility.

And just keep sharing with me everything that's going on.

It's all part of the process.

Okay.

Oh, a hundred percent.

I, I'm on board.

I'm ready to share.

I'm not afraid of sharing, even if it sounds.

I, I know everyone's unique, but hey, phone person also can relate them.

That's great too.

So that's the goal that.

Yes.

Thank you so much, Amy.

Welcome back to the postscript of no Shame in the Home Game.

That was our first episode with Amy.

We got the foundation and I made some suggestions if you've been listening for a while now or maybe you're new.

It's all about breaking it down into the smallest steps possible and about trying something and that it's okay if something doesn't work.

With Amy, it really was just about figuring out where do we start?

Where's the door into this?

We'll try some things and then follow up with Amy in episode two.

We'd like to end our episodes with a moment of gratitude.

I just got home from my 11 day European trip with my husband.

I am bubbling over with gratitude that I might be insufferable.

This is the first time Sarah and I have had a chance to talk.

Do you want me to go ahead and just jump in?

Sarah, I thought you said you were bubbling over and I was like, oh, she's just going to roll.

I'm excited.

I am here for the show, just like the listeners.

I don't even know what you're going to say.

I was running around a little bit before this.

We got Isaac on the bus and thinking about what I was going to say.

Bubbling over with gratitude is really the only way that I can put it because there are so many ways that I'm grateful.

The past two weeks, whether it's the fact that we have amazing parents who are grandparents to our kids that not only took them during that time, but also had them do all kinds of activities and then came home to a house cleaner and More organized than when we left it.

You can't even know the gratitude that I have with that.

I have so much gratitude.

I was very nervous about this trip because this is my first time traveling like this since I've gotten chronically ill.

I was really worried about whether I was going to be able to do anything.

I would say 8 out of 10, I did everything I wanted to do.

I'm so happy with that.

I'm grateful for the time I got to spend with my husband and how much fun I had with him.

One of the greatest parts of traveling is coming into contact with people in different ways than you normally do.

We were on a river cruise for eight of our days, and the staff and the crew and everyone was so lovely.

We met some lovely other people who were there.

And same with.

We went to a hotel in Paris.

The staff and everyone there was lovely.

And then I also, like, we were on the subway in Paris.

A man got up so that I could sit down because I'm pregnant.

And I just.

That I remember that, and I have gratitude for that.

I am bubbling over with gratitude and joy from the past week and a half, two weeks.

I'm so happy for you.

I was listening while you were out of town.

I was listening to the middle episode of the rerelease of you and Joe and listening to, like, when you first planned this trip and then you postponed the trip and then trying to do it again, and just everything that happened.

And then to hear you come out on the other side and say, at a 8 out of 10, it makes my heart warm.

I love it.

Did I almost pass out in the Louvre and then be like, joe, I gotta go back.

But I'm not letting you go back because we just got here, like, a half an hour ago.

And to get into the Louvre takes effort, right?

So I'm like, you're staying here.

I'm taking an Uber back to the hotel.

It was a very stressful, like, 45 minutes.

And did I then go pass out in our hotel room for most of the day?

Yeah.

But that's okay.

That's just fine.

Because Joe got to have his day in the loop because he's more of the museum person than I am, which should come to no shock as anyone that I'm like, yeah, I saw the painting.

I moved on.

That is all I have in me.

I thought you were going to say, don't tell me what to like, just because it's on a wall.

What I'm telling you, I just don't like it.

So we Went in to see the Mona Lisa, and I'm just like, I don't get it.

It is a good painting, but it is such a centerpiece and people are crowding to get to it.

And I'm like, hey, girl, I don't know what else to do.

I did have a funny thought when you were saying you're about to pass out.

I thought, yeah, you could have just laid down on the floor in the middle of the Louvre, and then Joe could have taken the piece of paper and written, like, the title of, like, fatigue or I don't know.

And then you just become like, a live art institute to, like, talk about memories that will.

In that situation, I become laser focused on bench.

Where is the closest bench I need to sit down?

And let me just say, there are less benches there than I feel like there should be.

Maybe this is still me coming to peace or recognizing accommodations that I do need because I still don't know how to ask for them if it's not clear.

For example, I didn't realize how awful waiting in lines are for me.

It's not that I'm, like, impatient.

It's just the standing in one place like that.

Often you're surrounded by a lot of people.

My temperature goes up, my blood pressure goes down, and it is a very hard situation for me.

In the airport security line, I'm like, oh, I should have gotten a wheelchair and used the resources available.

Even though it's just.

It is a very challenging experience to think about what you may feel in the future while managing your resources.

It's just a very bizarre experience in a lot of different ways.

And it's something that is very much on my mind.

Now.

Me passing out, I don't think is a huge deal, but if you do pass out, people are like, what's going on?

This isn't okay.

But then using a wheelchair, you can't tell why I'm using a wheelchair.

People can be shitty about it.

So you need me to pass out for you to believe me?

The amount of mental capacity it takes is interesting and challenging.

During this time, in the most bizarre turn of events, I had an Instagram reel go viral of me laying in that in our stateroom of the river cruise.

And to see over 2 million people see it on Instagram, over 2 million people on Facebook, which my brain cannot even fathom.

Over a hundred thousand people liked it.

I'm like, what?

How?

I just cannot fathom it.

To see the shitty things people say.

Generally, people were lovely, but it's just so weird.

The Whole thing's so weird.

That's why I started sharing in the first place and started the middle.

We started working on Joyful Support and no shame in the home game to explore this weirdness out loud because I thought I was going to be devastated by mean comments.

Honestly, I wasn't.

So now I'm like, oh, maybe I can handle this.

One guy said I was fat and I'm like, I'm pregnant.

But also shut up.

Why is that?

Yeah, like why did you find the need to take time out of your day to say something not helpful, not kind, not constructive.

Yeah, and here's a natural plug for Joyful Support Village.

Sometimes you want to say things and know that they're going to be received in a kind way.

That's why I love going to the village.

I hang out on threads a lot.

People reply with the not nicest things.

To my most I I posted about cooking rice in a rice cooker and somebody said, oh my gosh, I can't believe you haven't burned your house down by now.

I was like, that was extreme and unnecessary.

Yes.

Sometimes I walk away depleted from threads and that's when I go to Joyful Support Village.

I know people are going to be nice.

So one of the things I did is if it was a message that was just.

If someone was being mean, you get blocked and deleted if you're just being outright.

But if there if I had like a question mark, like someone said, be careful what you wish for.

Because I said it was my dream to lay in bed and watch out and see stuff.

I had this moment where I was like, okay, hold on.

I am going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume they're coming from a good place.

So I responded and I said, I'm going to assume that you genuinely have my best interest in mind.

You don't want me to be bedridden and all the bad things that go with it.

Here's some of my background.

I have been bedridden.

Taking this trip and being in this bed to be able to look out is part of my journey and it is a celebration of how far I've come.

He responded, I forget his exact words but essentially he was like, I was in a shitty mood.

I have had chronic pain.

That is where my mind went and I was doom scrolling saw this 20 second video and that's where my brain went.

Right away he's like, I didn't necessarily mean it mean but I didn't think about it.

You know what I mean?

And it Ended up having this kind of nice interaction with this person.

And so that has been my approach of, okay, if there's vagueness here, I am going to pretend like you are coming at me with the best of intentions and respond from that place.

Because then also, if they're mean, they just look like shit.

Right.

There was another guy who talked about how expensive it is, and let me just say this was a very expensive trip.

So at first I was feeling really judged, right?

And I took a moment and I was like, I need him to know that the expensiveness is part of what makes this a big deal.

This isn't something I do regularly.

This is a once in a lifetime experience for me.

We're not rich, we've saved or we're recovering from this trip in a lot of ways.

And so I responded from that place.

He came back with, I'm glad you were able to go.

I couldn't afford this trip.

I have gratitude for the interactions that I've been able to have with strangers around.

The concept of me being able to go on this trip, it has been a very bizarre.

But I have a lot of gratitude for it also.

A large majority of people were just lovely, I'm so happy you got to go on this trip.

This gives me hope that I can do this in the future.

I am so excited for you and your husband.

90% of it was just people being happy and lovely for me.

I have a lot of gratitude for that as well.

Look at that joy ripple.

Yeah, that was pretty powerful.

That's really cool.

That's nice.

I watched that video.

It was very soothing.

Oh, my gosh.

Some people were like, this would make me sick.

I have motion sickness from this.

But then there was also people.

And I'll be honest, I didn't know how to handle this.

So I just didn't.

People saying they thought it was like a hurricane flooding video at first and had some PTSD with it.

And then I did go down this like internal path of was it insensitive that I even posted it?

And I'm like, obviously didn't have that same response, but.

And I do think it's been enough time.

But also I'm going to leave this up because it means people are still talking about it and if they're still talking about it, maybe it can still benefit those who've been affected.

But yeah, it's all weird.

Weird.

But I'm.

Gratitude for the weird.

Oh, gratitude for the weird.

I love that.

That's so cool.

Can't wait to hear more about your.

Trip and we'll chat more naturally, because I have a lot of thoughts.

I think we need to do a no shame in the home game travel edition.

Yes.

Like a little about preparing for travel and ways to keep organized on travel.

That kind of thing.

Oh, yes.

I'm getting tingly just thinking about it.

Yes, yes.

A million times, yes.

Lys.

It sounds like a very different podcast right now.

Sarah.

That is my bubbling over dump of gratitude.

What about you?

What are you grateful for?

Along with you being back and getting to see you again, which is first on my list.

And number two, I don't know if you saw my eyes drifting up and looking around off camera.

During the winter in this house, my office fills with ladybugs.

I know some people might take that as.

That's gross, that's weird.

Whatever.

There's some place in this house, some way these ladybugs are getting in.

And ladybugs, in the winter, they find some place where they can all go together and they make this little tiny pile.

And then when it gets warm again in the spring, I have to open the windows of my office so they can all leave.

But I've actually come to love it.

They're like, they're visitors that come every winter and my family will find them in other parts of the house and then bring them to the office.

The ladybugs are hibernating in my office and I honestly love it.

I have so many questions.

I did not know how much this would light my brain up.

By the way, one thing is, this is something we've talked about in our world.

If a bug's not harming me, then I need to figure out how to be at peace with it.

This is something we've talked about with our kids.

And are there downsides to the.

Would this bring harm to your house in some way?

I feel like you're a person who would know that, Honestly.

They come in, go to the corner and go dormant.

There's no.

There's.

They're not actively eating, so they're not like, going to the bathroom.

And if anything, ladybugs eat any smaller bugs when they're outside.

They'll eat aphids.

There's no there.

Let me be clear.

I'm not creating habitats in my house for external bugs.

Like, I don't have aphids in my house.

There is no food source.

No, there's no.

And then they just leave.

I mean, the only downside is they don't all survive the winter.

So sometimes I have to clean up dead ladybugs.

I can't think of any downside.

Something I've learned about myself.

I knew it.

I'm just saying it out loud.

I'm basically trying to.

The inside of my house is as much like outside as possible.

The background of my office is this fern wallpaper.

You can find numerous rocks and pieces of wood in my house.

I was looking at wallpaper for the guest room and stumbled upon mushrooms.

I did see that.

Did you see where people were spawned?

I liked you being like, can I call it the mushroom room?

I just giggled.

People had the best ideas.

The Fungalo bungalow.

Oh, my God.

There were so many amazing answers.

I was like, wow, I really shot low on this bar.

Yes.

So the ladybugs hanging out with me, honestly, just.

Oh, see, they just find each other.

We used to live in Massachusetts and my husband's work there were this.

It looks like a tall water tower building, but that's not what it was.

But it had that big metal outside and then you open and then there's a hatch that.

Like a ladder that goes up.

But one time he showed me inside.

There were thousands and thousands of ladybugs inside this, like, metal whatever it was.

It's not that big.

I'm only talking like 20 ladybugs.

It's not crazy, but you just see them as guests for the winter.

I love.

It's part of our home rhythm.

Yeah, I like that and I love it.

I love our gratitude today, Sarah.

It's.

This line can vary all over the place.

Eclectic, which is us, anyways.

But it's a little bit more eclectic than usual.

For the reminder for the listeners, this was Amy, episode one.

And then we're going to alternate with question and answers.

If you have any home management questions, you can go to noshameinthehomegame.com and submit a question either anonymously or you can.

Be part of it.

And then we're going to alternate also with follow ups from participants in previous seasons.

So season three is going to be.

Would you say hodgepodge or mash up?

Hodgepodge.

Call it the fungal bungalow.

We could.

Right?

That is something we could do.

So, yeah, season three is going to be a little bit different, but we're telling you what's going to happen so you know what to expect.

And we're always around if you have any questions.

We're sure.

Thank you, Sarah.

Thank you, Lacey.