Episode Summary:

Influence looks shiny on Instagram—but what you don’t see are the hidden costs. In this episode of Online Business for Christian Creators, Jim exposes 7 dark realities of chasing influence—from applause addiction to curated vulnerability, clout-chasing, burnout, and brand silencing.

But this isn’t just a takedown of influencers. You’ll also hear the flipside: how to build influence that actually lasts, rooted in relational leadership, Kingdom purpose, and integrity.

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I chasing influence the wrong way?”—this episode will give you the clarity and courage to lead differently.

🗝️ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why applause and vanity metrics can rob you of purpose.
• How curated vulnerability is often a trap—and what true vulnerability looks like.
• Why clout-chasing erodes your identity (and how to root yourself in Christ).
• The connection between success and isolation—and how to fight it.
• How monetizing morality can corrupt your cause.
• The reality of performance burnout (and why rest is a Kingdom principle).
• How sponsorships can silence your convictions—and what freedom looks like.
• 4 practical flipside practices for building influence God’s way.

📖 Scripture Referenced

• Proverbs 29:25 – “The fear of man lays a snare.”
• Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world.”
• Matthew 6:1 – “Do not practice your righteousness before men to be seen by them.”
• John 8:32 – “The truth will set you free.”

🌐 Resources & Links

👉 Main site: https://www.leadwithjim.com

👉 Free resources & tools: https://www.leadwithjim.com/links

📩 Join 400+ leaders in my free weekly newsletter: https://www.leadwithjim.com/nl

✨ Key Insight for Creators

Influence isn’t evil—it’s powerful. But if you chase it without integrity, it will eat you alive. The good news? You can build influence that heals, restores, and points people to something greater than yourself.

That’s relational leadership. That’s Kingdom purpose.

🎁 Resources & Links:

🔗 Join the Newsletter: www.leadwithjim.com/nl

🎧 Catch more episodes + extras: https://www.leadwithjim.com/podcast-2

📣 Connect & Engage

• Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio

• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

• Share this episode with a friend

• Subscribe, like, and comment on YouTube

• Join our newsletter → www.leadwithjim.com

🎙️ Got a question?

Leave a voice message at leadwithjim.com/ask

Thanks for listening!

Never miss an episode of Online Business for Christian Creators. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app—and if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear the truth about influence.

Have you ever just been scrolling through the phone and on, you know, on your favorite social media app and you've noticed some people and you're like, man, I want the life that that person has.

I want the life that they're showing me, the story that they're telling.

If that has been you, then today's episode is one you're going to be want to really tune into because we're going to talk about the seven secrets that influencers don't tell you about, but you should know as you try to go after the life that they have.

Welcome to Online Business for Christian Creatives, the show that helps you build a business that honors God, fuels your creativity, and actually pays the bills.

I'm your host, Jim Burgo, leadership coach, Faith first, entrepreneur, and a guy who's made just about every mistake so you don't have to.

Let's get into it.

Hey, welcome back to the show.

I'm so grateful that you are here with me today.

Today, as we have this conversation around influencers, what it really cost us to have influence on that level.

And I want to preference this as this is not an episode about bashing influencers.

This is an episode simply about what is the cost.

Because remember, even Jesus said, count the cost.

And if we're going to be influencers or people of influence, then we've got to really separate from what these people on social media we see versus what is truly influence.

And so I want to unpack with you in the conversation about what relational leadership has to do with influence and the seven dark secrets that influencers aren't telling you.

Because at the end of the day, influence is trust.

The more influence I have, the more trust I have.

And it's all built on relationships.

So if I'm not leading from a relational standpoint, then I won't build the influence that I need to do the life that I want.

With that being said, influence is also fragile.

These guys who are online, their life is out there being the influencer you and I want or share or desire to be.

Their life could be over the life that they've built with one single decision, one single move that goes in a direction that they were never meant to go into, even if it's an accident, could lose their entire platform.

So we want to operate in integrity because this is what the Holy Spirit calls us to, so that when as we gain influence, we're developing character so that we can maintain what God gives us.

By the end of this, you're going to know seven really deep dark secrets that there nobody's really talking about, that you need to be aware of so that you don't fall into these traps and.

And you don't live in the emptiness and the loneliness of influence without relationship.

So let's begin.

So the first one is addicted to the applause.

Have you ever noticed that we are in a generation currently that is desperate to be noticed?

It's not even a question of to be impactful to do any of those.

It's to be noticed.

That's why you see people doing all these dances and all these things.

Is those.

Are those things inherently wrong?

No, they are not inherently wrong, but we are obsessed with chasing the applause, chasing the likes, chasing the follows, which honestly, all these vanity metrics are empty and meaningless, especially when you're not able to convert these likes and follows into paying customers to build the life that you want to build.

But what we've developed or what is being developed now is that likes and views are the new dopamine hit.

Where a generation ago it was going out in nature, having adventures.

Now it's getting online, whether it be live podcasting or whatever, and getting somebody to acknowledge that you did something that they liked.

This is a really bad dichotomy that we live in because guess what?

What happens when the likes stop coming in?

How will you feel about yourself?

What will your.

What will you do when your identity is stripped from you because you've put your identity in chasing other people's opinions?

And we want to make sure that we understand that following likes and all these things are a snare for us.

And as a believer, you're not here to get likes and follows.

You're here to get impact and transformation out into the world.

Now, do you need is likes and follows feel good?

Yes, they do.

Is it inherently wrong to want to have those?

No, it is not.

But where we struggle, and this is where, where I want you to hear is when you're obsessively, compulsively need these things in order to feel okay, to feel normal, or to feel of value.

You do not need these things to feel valued.

You have infinite value.

So instead of, let's chase, instead of chasing the applause, let's chase after the Holy Spirit and allow God to put us in the places that we can have the greatest influence.

The second dark secret about being an influencer is curated vulnerability.

What looks raw is often rehearsed, and it's rehearsed in order for you to feel something so that you can be deeper ensnared into their influence because they want to connect with a.

Even with a pretend emotion, because the deeper the emotion, the deeper the obsession.

And so I want to make sure that you and I understand that there is a curated vulnerability.

Authenticity without accountability is just another marketing trick.

And what we have online with a lot of influencers is, is one big marketing trick to do, say and all the things to get you to fall deeper in love with them.

I do want to make sure that we understand that we're not here to bash influencers, because can you imagine how lonely the life is that you can't emotionally connect with anybody following you?

Do you imagine how lonely it is when your whole life is curated to be an image and not an actual expression of who you are?

We cry authenticity.

We say, let's be our authentic self while simultaneously giving you a version of ourselves that looks good, makes you feel good, and will continue to have you follow us.

True vulnerability begins first in trusted relationships, not algorithms.

Is it okay to share vulnerable online?

Absolutely.

So be careful, count the cost, because there is a cost to this.

And, and, and one of the high cost of being an influencer is a curated vulnerability that really stifles the expression of the true emotional depth of the human being trying to be the influencer.

Number three in the dark sides of being an influencer is chasing clout while losing yourself.

And this one is.

Is hits home because I know some influencers who have completely lost their identity while trying to chase after clout because it's addictive.

You want to be the most popular person in the room.

That goes all the way back to when you were in grade school, when all of our friends in school ended up in these little cliques.

And every.

And depending upon your ability to have the best time in school was dependent upon the clique you were in.

There's no difference between these influencers.

But when you're chasing clout, what are you willing to give up to get the clout that you want?

Because there will be a cost.

And oftentimes, almost all the time, what you're losing is yourself.

Because over time, your identity bends to stay relevant.

Because as culture shifts as fast as it shifts to continually stay relevant, you have to continually reinvent yourself.

And if you continually reinvent yourself, you'll never have roots to go deep enough to develop an identity that gets you through the storms.

Romans 12:2 says, this says, do not conform to the patterns of this world.

And if you're chasing clout and you're chasing trends.

What do you think you're doing?

The cost of this is losing your identity, losing who you are, losing all that you are in Christ in order to chase a trend.

Because you're trying to conform to the patterns of this world, not conforming to Christ.

Because if you don't know who you are in Christ, then the crowd will define you.

So I guess the question then becomes, is who.

Who defines you?

Does the.

Does God define you?

Or do the people that you're chasing, their applause, their clout, all this stuff, do they define you?

Because the answer to that question will tell you how fulfilled or how empty you will be in this life.

Number four on our list, success equals isolation.

Because the bigger the platform, the smaller the circle.

I mean, have you ever seen a lot of these influencers who are out in the wild and they're.

They're in with their communities and they're crowded?

And what's happening is you have an influx of people you don't know.

You have an influx of people who want your time, but don't actually want the authenticity you bring, the emotional depth you bring.

They don't really want you.

They want the image that you've given them.

And so what happens is we begin to be isolated emotionally, socially, because the bigger the platform, the more isolated we become.

And so we have to understand that many influencers out there are telling you the bigger they become, the less true friends they have.

Trust is a commodity they don't give away willingly.

And so it's.

It comes down to a question.

Who are you letting behind the curtain so that you're not doing this alone?

Who is that person in that inner circle of your life who is going to walk with you so that you don't get fallen into the trap of getting so much success that you push everybody out of your life?

Remember, there's a cost to all of this, and we can fight the cost, like the dark side of it with the light side.

So if.

If isolation is what's going to be the cost of chasing success, then there is a.

There's a flip side of who can we bring with us that we can enjoy success with?

So remember that with every one of these that I give you, there is a side that I've been sharing that is the flip side of the dark side.

Number five, monetizing morality.

Now, you may not think this is like, you're, like, what?

But here's the deal.

Most of the influencers will begin to try to make good content and good causes the same thing.

Which means they don't really care about the cause, they care about the image that that is connected to the cause that they're trying to build.

So if we monetize morality, what we're doing, and it's a dark side of this, what we're doing is we're using all the things that we're serving people, serving causes, as a way to get more influence, to build better clout, to build more success without truly being connected to the very thing that we're driven to do.

I really want to bring this back because Matthew 6:1 says, do not practice your righteousness before men to be seen by men.

And if the bigger your platform, the more you're going to be like, everything is content.

You ever hear that?

Everything is content, including what God calls you to.

And I'm going to tell you not everything is meant to be content.

There are things in your life that you need to be doing and giving to that you need not to be telling anybody.

But then there are things in your life that you should be telling.

If you have a cause that is very near and dear to your heart, and you give and you serve there, and you want to use your platform as a place to say, hey, come serve this, come give to this, because it's a worthy cause, that's different.

Instead of trying to get into all the trending causes to use it as marketable content, you don't want to fall into the marketing machine person.

You want to be the extension or the love letter.

God is writing to this world, the epistle that he's writing to this world.

And you want to do these things because these are the things that are on your heart.

God has gifted you, for God is calling you to, and you do them whether you have a platform or not.

And then as you build a platform, you begin to share it so that you invite others to do what you're doing, to do it with you.

That is the essence of true influence.

Number six is performance burnout.

Now, this is a really big things because you're always on.

Every bit of it is always on.

It's all about performing.

It's all about the image.

We are a mask who are dying on the inside because we're burning out because of the performance and because we got to produce more and more and more and more and more because that's what social media demands, that's what the crowd demands.

The crowd is so addicted to the dopamine hits of scrolling that they want more and more and more.

And for the algorithm to keep pushing you, you have to do more and more and more and you're burning out.

These influencers are burning out because we take away from the growth, we take away from the fulfillment of it.

We take away from all of this so that we could put on this curated image because we want the performance.

Because performance.

Performance equals influence, influence equals clout, clout equals success.

At least that's what we tell ourselves.

And.

But the truth behind it is we've told ourselves wrong.

That is not the definition of success.

Matter of fact, success is how you define it.

But we also want to go make it one step forward further and say, well, how does God define descent?

Success?

How does God define success in your life?

And I will tell you one thing of a successful godly life as a Christian entrepreneur and is rest.

If you're not prioritizing rest in your life, then we're already out of balance.

And performance burnout is just the next natural step.

Because I'm going to tell you, there was a time in my life where I was pastoring a brand new church plant.

I was teaching school, I was, I had my own blog, it was called Soul Care for the Misfits.

I had like my wife who was dealing with some illnesses.

We had a child and I just kept doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, performing, getting up there every Sunday, speaking a message, doing this community, serving all this stuff.

And what it got me was burnout.

I ignored rest until my body refused to ignore rest.

Because rest, I learned, is not weakness.

It's a kingdom principle that you and I need to be able to use every day, every week so that we're not burning out.

Because guess what?

If you're a flame, the light of this world, if you're a flame and your flame goes out, what good are we?

Because God wants us to be a light to draw people to him.

And if we're burned out, and a flame is no good when it's not lit.

So let's do this from a place of rest, not from a place of performance.

Burnout.

And the last is number seven.

You can be silenced by your sponsor.

When you get a sponsor, there are certain things that they ask you.

The bigger the sponsor, the more they're like, you can't say this because that's not part of our brand.

You can't say this because that's not part of our brand.

They will silence you on your most important issues if those issues or those things do not agree with their brand.

So this is a dark side that rarely is talked about, is that if you're going to take in a stream of income that involves sponsorships that a lot of these sponsors have these big contracts that say, don't say this, don't say this, don't do this.

And there's many of them out there that even put in the contract that you're not allowed to say the name of Jesus.

And so people will chase the money instead of holding on to the character in which they are building.

The money is not.

We like the money, don't get me wrong.

But the money is not the end all to be, all Christ is.

And if you're willing to sell your soul to a sponsor that, that you're able, that you're so willing to give up your passions, your convictions to say, give me that money that we already lost it to the dark side.

We need to be people of character who are going to stand up and strong and say, if you want me to sponsor this or to create content around this, that you're sponsoring me for that I have the freedom to say whatever I want about this thing.

And that's where John 8:32 comes in.

The truth will set you free.

You've got to acknowledge the truth and in that truth live and walk in that freedom that you are not bound.

Buy that thing.

Now, could they say, I don't want to sponsor you, then?

Absolutely.

And just let it go out because you'll actually develop a reputation that says, here's a person of character.

When he, he or she speaks, people listen.

We want them, let's sponsor them.

It may take a little extra, but guess what?

If when you live in your character and your convictions, you don't let sponsors silence you.

And with all of this, that with the seven dark sides of influence, we just want to give you a quick note on some of the things that you can be doing.

Now, we did put some in the actual conversation, but here's just a quick outliers that you and I could be doing in order to fight against or to stop the dark side.

Right?

It's like the Jedi calling, we're going against the dark side.

Well, if the Sith Lords are coming after you, then let's rise up as the Jedi, or at least the.

At least the gray Jedi, if you are a fan.

So you'll know what I'm talking about.

And here's the thing.

Let's anchor in our calling, not our clout.

Number two, choose vulnerability and wisdom.

Share your stories.

Share your scars.

Share them.

Number three.

Build deep before wide.

Go deep.

Because an oak tree that builds roots is an Oak tree that won't be falling in the storm.

So if you build deep first before you build wide, you can build a massive audience that even if the audience left, you will not be shaken.

Number and the fourth one, the last one here is define success, God's way.

And we did cover that a little bit.

You know, it's faithfulness, it's obedience.

Let's define success according to the way God would define it.

So, one last thought.

Influence is an evil.

It's powerful.

Matter of fact, Solomon even prays that within the Psalms it says, give me influence and affluence, which means give me the influence I need to reach people with the money I need in order to do something with these people.

Right?

So there's nothing bad or inherently bad about influence or affluence.

We can pray for both of these things, but if we chase it without integrity, we have lost the game.

We have lost the whole thing.

It's like, it will eat you alive.

It will empty you, it will put you in isolation.

All of these things, if you chase the dark side and you give in to the darker desires, the soul cravings that we have, instead of understanding that God uses influence, he uses affluence for his greater glory, his greater, you know, pushing of his kingdom, and he uses you in the midst of that.

So if he's going to give you influence, make sure you're always checking these seven.

Are there more?

Sure, but these seven are really big.

And if you look at a lot of the lives of the influencers you follow, you'll see many of these show up.

So if you're going to build an influence that God wants to build in your life, then you've got to develop the depth of character that God is trying to develop.

And if this episode hit home, then I would invite you to go to www.leadwithjim.comnl and join the newsletter, where we've got a growing list of over 400 other entrepreneurs and faith leaders just like yourself who are learning, growing, getting wisdom, getting biblical truth that do not show up in these episodes.

If that is you, go on over there.

I'll throw this in the show notes in the comments section.

Go over there.

Let's join.

I promise not to spam.

You would love to get to meet you, would love to get to have a conversation with you.

And with that, we'll see you on the next episode.