Today's guests are Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new couple BFFs. The pair are co-hosts of the popular podcast Pillow Talks, where they cover juicy topics and share their real world relationship advice. They are the sex education you wish you had, with proven tips that have helped hundreds and thousands of couples create a sex life beyond their wildest dreams.
In their new book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, they share how couples can have fun talking about sex while keeping the spark alive and stay emotionally connected throughout the whole process. Vanessa and Xander open up to their own experiences in their relationship and apply what they’ve learned to help couples at any stage in their intimacy journey.
We also cover…
00:02:09 — Becoming a Sex Therapist
The very first sex talk…with the parents.
Why is it so hard for us to talk about sex?
Sex therapy as a career
Making sex therapy as joyful as buying cookbooks
Internal beliefs that prevent couples from talking about sex
De-shaming & normalizing sex talks
00:11:30— Important Conversations For A Couple’s Sex Life
Taking the first step to initiate the conversation of sex
Why communication is the key to creating your dream sex life
Simple, practical tips to maintain an emotional connection
Develop cheat codes that speak to each other’s love languages
How to stop focusing on what’s wrong with the relationship
00:23:00 – Uncovering your Desires Inside & Outside of the Bedroom
Finding new ways to initiate sex that feel like an invitation
Fun ways to spice up your long-term relationship
Change your delivery, change your energy
Family friendly initiation phrases for couples with kids
The two main mismatched sex drive types
Removing the obligation of sex for your partner
Learning to gently turn your partner & find other ways to please one another
00:40:15 – Discovering Pleasure for Yourself & Your Partner
Why there’s no such thing as being universally good in bed
Fun exercises that bring you pleasure
Overcoming the narrow expectations around sex for men
The orgasm gap: what do women really need
Using pleasure mapping to open lines of communication with positive feedback
Subtle changes to keep the spark alive in a relationship
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