Motherhood at home is difficult enough... but guiding our children in this constantly-changing world is next-level complicated! In this episode Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Steph discuss overarching principles for pointing our children to Christ wherever they may be. (This episode corresponds with Entrusted with a Child's Heart: Lesson 3.)
Scriptures Mentioned:
Psalm 119:1-16
Psalm 119:37
1 Corinthians 3:6
Ezekiel 33:5-6
1 Corinthians 15:33
Ephesians 6:10-18
Psalm 127:1
They're the joyful agains our children
shout on the swings, the exhausting
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:agains of cooking and laundry, and
the difficult agains of discipline.
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:So much of what we do
as mothers is on repeat.
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:So what if we woke up with clarity,
knowing which agains we were called
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:to, and went to bed believing we
are faithful in what matters most?
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:We believe God's word is
the key to untangle from the
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:confusion and overwhelm we feel.
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:Let's look up together to embrace a
motherhood full of freedom and joy.
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:This episode of again, is brought
to you by interested ministries.
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:And I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox today.
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:I am joined by our entire
cast of amazing women.
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:We've got Betty Corning,
Emily DL and Jen Frackman.
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:And we'll be discussing, guiding your
children amidst outside influences.
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:In a previous episode, we talked about
common influences for us as mothers.
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:And today we'll focus about how to
guide our children towards pursuing
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:and loving Christ regardless of
their circumstance and situation.
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:We're going to be discussing
the tug of two realms.
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:From interested with the
child's heart chapter three.
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:We can either be pulled towards
righteousness and Christ-like
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:behavior or towards unrighteousness
and worldly influence.
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:We're never just standing still.
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:And as many of our kids are
settling into new routines at
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:school sports or activities.
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:We think this is a great time to
evaluate their outside influences.
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:So, thanks for joining us for this latest
episode of the untangled series, where
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:we're untangling biblical motherhood.
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:Let's get to it
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:Steph: let's start off with a fun
question aunt Betsy, what was your
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:favorite game to play or way to
spend time when you were younger?
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:Betsy: Well, I have to
admit, I love to read books
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:my sisters and mom.
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:We played a lot of solitaire,
which wasn't really solitaire.
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:It was playing with two,
three, or four people.
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:Or even more sometimes.
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:It was really fast fun.
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:And we played some Parcheesi
and Rook Monopoly, which we've
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:all played and we just had fun.
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:We had fun making things,
being creative with things.
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:My sister and I, my younger sister
especially, we would make what we called
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:Barbie houses with pieces of carpet for
the floors for the rooms and then we would
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:make the furniture and we didn't really
even have Barbies or play with the towels.
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:We just made the houses and we would keep
them out for a week all over the floor.
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:And another thing we did a lot was
we would make cookies and dye the
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:cookie dough and then make very
elaborate cookies like bowls of
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:fruit and hats with flowers and all
kinds of things, but it was so fun.
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:It was, I guess, our play doh
that we ate, kind of, right?
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:Jen: that's amazing.
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:Betsy: Still use that recipe.
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:Steph: How about you, Jen?
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:How did you like to spend your time
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:Jen: I definitely like to be outside.
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:Anything that was Outdoors, playing with
neighbor kids, swinging on our backyard
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:tire swing swimming, riding bikes.
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:I remember we would ride bikes.
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:My dad worked in a factory
and so he would get home at 3.
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:30 every day and by 4.
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:30 we were done eating dinner
and we would go take a bike ride.
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:And it was so fun.
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:So anything that was outside
is definitely how I would want
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:to spend my time as a kid.
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:Steph: That's great.
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:I'm going to have some similar
answers to Aunt Betsy because you.
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:and my mom like to do the same things,
and so I think she passed those things
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:on to me, I liked Play Doh a lot.
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:Definitely cards and games.
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:That was a big one.
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:Bike rides.
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:My mom and I would take these walks
in our neighborhood and We would look
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:at the houses and we would say, okay,
if you could only change one thing
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:about each house, what would you do?
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:Jen: okay i it
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:Steph: we just
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:design and, things like that.
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:So those are some fun memories
that were really pretty regular.
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:Betsy: My son Lee said to me one time,
you know, you kind of grow up as the
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:inside child or an outside child.
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:And I think I can see
the, the difference here.
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:I mean, we did outside things
of course, but mostly I think
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:I was kind of an inside.
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:Steph: sure, All right,
Emily, how about you?
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:What was your favorite way to
spend time when you were a child?
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:Emily: Swing in the backyard.
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:We had a huge tree out back and my
dad put a huge rope swing up and we
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:spent hours on that swing, my brother
and I that and playing in the creek.
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:We had a creek out back and we would
explore the creek and pull treasures
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:out and we would hide them in the
hole of a tree and tuck them in.
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:And we said it was our time capsule,
but in our childhood that we played
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:on the swing and in the creek,
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:Steph: I want say ding, ding, ding.
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:That is the correct answer on this show.
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:Swinging on the swing.
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:Jen: that's great.
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:Steph: Aw, that's fun.
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:Jen, you said something
about swinging too, right?
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:I'm sure we all loved it.
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:The question is, can you still handle
it as you're aging I get a little bit
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:of motion sickness now if I go for long.
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:Jen, we've talked about you homeschool
your children and so it looks different
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:in your home But we're always releasing
our children in a wise way So what
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:does that look like in your home?
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:And what are some guidelines
that you've set up?
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:Jen: Sure, we I would think the first
thing that we think about whenever we're
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:talking with our kids is making sure
that they first and foremost have a solid
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:biblical understanding of how the world
works, Even memorizing scripture, things
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:into their hearts so that when we do send
them out and they're in the world, that
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:they have the firm foundation of Christ's
words and scriptures in their heart and
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:in their minds so that they can protect
them and guard them and give them wisdom
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:to speak into different relationships
and conversations that they have.
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:Just trying to make sure that, We're not
guarding them from every conversation
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:of anybody who might not think the same
way as us, you know, not, definitely
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:not that, but when they do encounter
somebody that might be speaking falsely
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:or against what scripture would say, that
they would realize That, that's error and
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:that, that is not what God's word says.
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:And so they're equipped by having
the scriptures and, and definitely,
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:you know, we've done Awana for years.
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:We've done scripture memory, anything
that we can to, whenever we're reading
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:the Bible, just trying to apply it
to the everyday of life of how they
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:might encounter this in culture or
in friendships or, you know, even at
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:the grocery store, because people at
the grocery store even can stop and
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:talk and give their opinion on things.
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:Steph: Absolutely.
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:Yep.
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:Especially around Christmas time right?
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:Mm hmm.
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:Jen: for sure.
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:Yeah, the whole,
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:what is Santa going to bring you today?
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:That type of
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:Steph: Yep.
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:You have to be prepared
for all those things.
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:Betsy: Well, how about the music in
I was in a store the other day and
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:I couldn't believe the words of I
thought, do they really know what
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:they're projecting out into their store?
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:The meanings are And of course people are
bringing their children into these stores
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:and they're listening to these words and
they're probably singing these words.
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:And they don't even they're saying
It's pretty, it's pretty eye opening
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:if you listen to some of the songs.
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:Steph: it is.
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:And there are, there are those soundtracks
or CDs that they'll take pop hits and
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:then have kids sing them, but they'll
edit out inappropriate words, but they
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:don't edit inappropriate concepts.
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:And it's really shocking me sometimes
the things that they're having children
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:sing, and now all of a sudden it's
supposed to be okay because they
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:took out the Lord's name in vain.
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:It's like, it's, it's not a song children
should be singing, and, and I think
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:that's, it's so deceptive, isn't it?
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:Betsy: Very much.
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:I think Jen's point is a good
one that we want to be proactive.
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:we want to set a firm foundation
before we have to be reactive.
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:Before kids have thought about
something, gotten involved in
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:something, seen something, and then
we're having a reactive situation.
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:There will be those.
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:Don't mistake that there
will be those situations.
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:Just prepare yourself as a mother to know?
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:that there will be some situations
that you wouldn't wish for your kids
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:to have to deal with, but they will.
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:And, but the more that you have set that
foundation of this is how we think, this
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:is our worldview as believers in the
Lord, you will set them on a course.
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:that guards against that.
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:I think you know, Jen, I
heard her say once saying yes.
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:is also saying no to something
else, to the opposite thing.
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:And in entrusted, about
the tug of two realms.
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:What, what are you involved in?
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:Is it pulling you more towards
the Lord, or is it pulling
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:you more away from the Lord?
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:What friends that with and the thing that
you watched and the thing that you heard?
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:Does that make you think more about
the Lord, or does it pull you away?
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:And I think that's an important thing
for kids to think about because if we are
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:watching their progressive sanctification
and they're moving more in the Way.
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:of the Lord as they get older, it
really, they're not even interested
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:in going that other direction.
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:There's the tug two realms that we
really have to help our children with.
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:Jen: Totally.
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:Emily: Always that tug.
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:We, it seems at the beginning of
every school year evaluate kind
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:of what talks we need to have.
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:Going into whatever grade
it is we're going into.
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:And so, you know, our son is
going to be a junior this year.
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:And so we were just talking the
other night about what talks
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:we need to have before school.
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:They know where we stand with
all of the things that we've laid
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:out for years, but you always are
adjusting and tweaking these little
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:things situationally that come up.
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:As they progress in age.
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:And so we always kind of evaluate where
they're at each year and sit down and
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:have a conversation about the things
that may arise, boyfriends, girlfriends
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:parties even getting to know the parents
of our children's friends, we've always
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:tried to invest in those relationships.
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:So we know the homes that they'll
be going into and, and so we always
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:evaluate where, where we're at
and have continuing conversations
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:as we enter into the school year.
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:And we always, even though our
kids are older, and this may seem
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:silly, we establish the routine,
get, you know, a couple weeks
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:before school, reestablish bedtimes.
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:And all of those kinds of things
because, you know, we're in summer mode.
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:And so we reevaluate all
of those things as well.
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:It's just a nice time to really gain
perspective of the season you're entering
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:into, what you need to do to kind of
nest and make sure it's successful.
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:And so it's kind of a
refreshing time of reevaluation
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:for families.
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:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
That's an excellent idea.
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:Jen: I
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:love that idea.
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:I love that.
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:That is like so wise and so practical and
so easy to do, but when maybe you start
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:the year without realizing like, Oh,
you're another year older, there's going
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:to be new things that you're exposed to
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:Betsy: not only that, but, you
know, you're trying to be proactive,
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:but then you find out that kids
are learning these things younger
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:and younger and younger, and the
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:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
danger is that kids
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:Betsy: minds aren't necessarily
ready to receive the information
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:Jen: That's great.
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:I'm actually reading this book
called Your Teenager is Not Crazy.
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:It's a really good book
from a Christian worldview.
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:But one of The things that they
said was that teenagers learn best
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:by given going through real life
scenarios and real life examples.
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:And so, you Instead of saying, don't
do this, you kind of can tell a story
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:to your teen and be like, you know,
this and this and this happened or
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:this and this and this could happen
because imagine what this would
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:look like if this and this and this.
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:And so you can kind of paint the
picture for them through a story,
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:which is exactly what God did.
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:He is constantly talking in stories when
Jesus was on this earth, you know, So
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:Yeah,
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:exactly.
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:So I thought that was kind of cool and
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:so applicable to the back to school
with being like, okay, you're in a new
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:grade, a new year for you, new friends,
new teachers, all of those things.
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:And what are some, you know, experiences
or what are some situations that
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:you could be in and how do you
think you'll handle it when what if
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:this were to happen?
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:Steph: I know you said earlier the
tug of two realms, but scripture
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:also says all things are permissible,
but not all things are beneficial.
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:So saying this might be something
that feels neutral, but is it really?
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:And evaluating the pull that it has on us.
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:Jen, you said earlier, that focus on
Christ, that we're not just talking
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:about sheltering or avoiding, you know,
experiences with temptation or evil.
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:We're talking about
filling up with the Lord.
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:And I think Psalm 119 is just the most
beautiful chapter to meditate upon.
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:And I, the entire chapter is so beautiful
because of the reliance upon God's word.
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:You know, this is the way to stay pure.
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:And so I'm just going to read
some of those verses from
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:the beginning of the chapter.
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:Blessed are those whose way is blameless,
who walk in the law of the Lord.
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:Blessed are those who keep his
testimonies, who seek him with
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:their whole heart, who also do
no wrong, but walk in his ways.
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:You have commanded your
precepts to be kept diligently.
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:Oh, that my ways may be steadfast
in keeping your statutes.
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:Then I shall not be put to shame, having
my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
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:I will praise you with an upright heart
when I learn your righteous rules.
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:I will keep your statutes.
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:Do not utterly forsake me.
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:How can a young man keep his way pure?
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:By guarding it according to your word.
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:With my whole heart I seek you.
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:Let me not wander from your commandments.
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:I have stored up thy word in your
heart that I might not sin against you.
259
:Blessed are you, O Lord,
teach me your statutes.
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:With my lips I declare all
the rules of your mouth.
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:In the way of your testimonies I
delight as much as in all riches.
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:I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
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:I will delight in your statutes.
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:I will not forget your word.
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:And so if our kids are continually
reading words like that, the truths
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:of scripture, that it's God's
precepts and meditating on them.
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:That keeps us from temptation.
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:That's how we can have an upright heart,
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:And even the prayers in
that, I love to ask God.
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:Fill me with a desire for your word.
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:Help me to honor and glorify you.
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:Later in the chapter it says,
I will run in the path of your
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:commandment when you enlarge my heart.
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:And so, teaching them to pray the words of
scripture to help them stay faithful when
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:they do enter a challenging situation.
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:Emily: I
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:love the verse that said, that talked
about how can a young man keep his way?
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:I think it was.
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:And it said by guarding his heart, I
I found myself recently in a certain
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:situation and I thought, Oh Lord,
I just want a bubble for my kids.
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:I don't want to guard their heart.
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:I just want to like bubble them.
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:And so I love that verse about
guarding your children's heart.
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:But we can't.
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:There is no way we can bubble wrap
them from this world, but we can equip
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:them with the Word of God that will
guard their heart and, and ultimately
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:give discernment and wisdom if they,
if they choose to dwell in the Word.
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:So that was an encouraging word,
even to me, where I'm at right now.
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:Betsy: Well, I like what
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:Steffi said when she said run.
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:So you run from the temptation always.
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:If our kids know that we run
this that is going to pull them
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:in the way of righteousness.
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:At first we, they might be taking
little baby steps, but they're
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:going in the right direction.
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:And then as we see their faithfulness
to that, living in obedience.
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:They learn how to walk in
righteousness with the Lord.
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:And I think that really
guards a child's heart.
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:It really, really does.
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:Of course, you know, we're
talking about all ages here.
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:We could even talk about ourselves and our
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:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
husbands and
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:Betsy: our purity before the Lord.
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:And are we accountable in
the things that we're doing?
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:Some I used to always say, if, if
our kids can't watch this movie,
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:that our teenagers are 15 year old.
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:Then we're not going to watch it.
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:It's just not, it's
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:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
really not going to be edifying
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:Steph: hmm,
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:Betsy: to us.
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:And that's true.
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:There's so much, so many things out
there that really aren't edifying.
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:I think my kids would have heard
me say that a thousand times.
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:Okay, it's popular, but is it edifying?
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:Does it build you up in the
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:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
Lord?
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:Steph: Right.
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:And modeling those, having those
conversations of, this is what I
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:avoid because I know my heart is
sensitive explaining to them that
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:I do the same thing for my faith.
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:And it's not, it's not an insult
to their faith that we're putting
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:guardrails up saying, this is just
what wisdom does as a believer.
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:You avoid certain things so that
you can draw closer to the Lord.
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:I have three very justice oriented
little boys in my home and it's been
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:really interesting to teach them strong
convictions and then also to teach
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:them to be gracious with others and and
not that they Would claim that they're
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:following, every standard perfectly,
but it's just really interesting
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:sometimes how dogmatic they can be.
330
:I've had to learn the kind of that balance
of, yes, this is a standard in our home.
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:Other families might choose to use
words that we don't use and we don't
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:need to hold them to that standard.
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:There might be a loving way you can
correct them, but if people haven't
334
:brought their lives under submission
to Christ, we would not expect
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:their lives to look, like ours and.
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:And so we've just had some
interesting situations as I'm trying
337
:to teach my children, what does
it look like to share your faith
338
:or, or to share your convictions?
339
:How do we do that in a
gracious and loving way?
340
:And in almost to the point, sometimes
I'm like, all right, now I just
341
:want you to love them with actions.
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:Your words have been very strong.
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:And I love that you
have strong convictions.
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:And even in that, I'm excited.
345
:My little boys, are going to lead
families hopefully someday, right?
346
:And so when they have strong convictions
to embrace that, but to also teach them
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:gentleness in it but just in case there
are any mamas out there who have Peters in
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:their home and you feel like, oh man, that
came across a little differently to others
349
:than I intended, I can certainly relate.
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:Jen: Okay.
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:One of the things that we've spoken
to our kids is actually in Psalm
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:119, I think it's verse 37 that says,
we turn our eyes from evil things.
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:out in public, if they're you
know, at school, at a co op or
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:anywhere where we are with other
friends, and Our, our family values,
355
:our family rules still apply.
356
:If we didn't allow you to have then
you shouldn't be looking at a friend's
357
:phone while at, out in public.
358
:And if there is something that we are,
even driving to Michigan, we will often
359
:see billboards or out on, you know, road
trips, we'll see billboards and I will.
360
:Be like, Oh guys, look, and I'll point to
the opposite direction of like something
361
:else to look at, you know, just trying to
turn their eyes from these evil things.
362
:Betsy: I said to David one particular
state we are never driving through
363
:again with kids because it was so
inappropriate , and I don't know
364
:how they thought that was okay.
365
:Steph: Daniel Huerta, he works for
Focus on the Family and I just had
366
:the blessing of hearing him speak at a
homeschooling conference and he said he
367
:needed to walk through a mall with his
young son and he knew we've got to walk
368
:past that store and it's coming up and
so he said, Honey, I want you to look.
369
:Do you see the light at
the end of that hallway?
370
:I want you to.
371
:Fix your eyes on that light
and we're going to keep
372
:walking toward the light, okay?
373
:And so they got past the store
and he saw his son turn and look.
374
:So when they got a little bit farther,
he stopped and he said, you know, he
375
:looked at his son and he could tell
his son looked a little ashamed.
376
:And he said, you know, did you, were you
able to keep your eyes fixed on the light?
377
:And he's like, no, daddy, I looked.
378
:He's like, okay, so how did
you feel when you looked?
379
:And he talked through
the experience with him.
380
:And I thought, He just spoke of it so
beautifully of, he didn't shame him, you
381
:know, he recognized that of course the
temptation is there, and he used it as
382
:a teaching moment, like a silver platter
moment, like you talk about an entrusted,
383
:but I think making sure that we're
available to talk through the experiences
384
:that our children are having, wherever it
may be, I think that's really important.
385
:It could be after a church sleepover,
it could be after they went to your best
386
:friend's house that you trust implicitly.
387
:Just making time to process through the
different experiences they're having
388
:so that if things are coming up, you're
using it as a teachable moment and that
389
:you're not taken aback years later at
something, that flew under the radar.
390
:Maybe counseling is needed.
391
:Maybe you need to go deeper with it.
392
:Betsy: Yeah, and to that end, I would like
to say that if any mother has somebody
393
:asked them if their child can come to
this or come to that, and they feel the
394
:pressure, and maybe their child doesn't
even want to go especially, but they're
395
:feeling the pressure because maybe
the aunt or the uncle or the cousin.
396
:wants them to come, it's a camp out or
whatever it is, and you don't feel right
397
:about it, don't make your child go.
398
:Especially if your child
doesn't want to go.
399
:Your child has a sense about it, he
doesn't want to, she doesn't want to be
400
:put in a particular situation, and if the
mom has that sense and the child doesn't
401
:even, but the mom does, then don't do it.
402
:I can tell you.
403
:So many heartbreaking instances where
somebody will tell me after the fact, I
404
:had a bad feeling about but I let them go.
405
:And their children are struggling
with something that happened that.
406
:trip or that overnight or whatever it was.
407
:Jen: Huh.
408
:Betsy: You just have to really be careful,
really watch who your children are with
409
:when they're, when they're not with you.
410
:We don't want to keep
them so, so isolated.
411
:But, we also want to be really careful.
412
:If we have a feeling don't have them go.
413
:And you can just say, said I can't go.
414
:Emily: That is such a good word.
415
:That's such a good word.
416
:I think though we've had recent
conversations that what we call, you
417
:know, those gut feelings with, with
our kids, with my youngest, especially,
418
:I think it's often the Holy Spirit's
prompting Because he's, he's telling
419
:us, we ask him for discernment, we ask
him for wisdom, and he tells us in those
420
:moments, and we still doubt, oh, is that,
am I, am I, am I just overthinking it?
421
:But I do think it's the Holy Spirit
prompting in those kinds of situations
422
:and I think it's so important to listen to
423
:that.
424
:betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:
Agreed.
425
:Jen: There's a quote from a book that I
read called The Duties of Parents by J.
426
:C.
427
:Ryle, and it says, Do not fear
withholding anything from your child
428
:that you think will do him harm,
whatever his own wishes may be.
429
:So even if.
430
:You know, we all are fighting our
children, I'm sure, at some point
431
:about cell phones and what age they
get to get one and what age they don't.
432
:But if we feel in our hearts that the
Holy Spirit is saying this is not going to
433
:benefit them, this is going to harm them
more at this age, don't fear withholding
434
:that because culture doesn't withhold it,
but allow the Lord to be the guide home
435
:stephanie-1mxoasmux_stephanie-2023-7-2619-17-56:
Mm hmm.
436
:Jen: culture.
437
:Betsy: said.
438
:can you even read that more?
439
:Jen: Do not fear withholding anything
from your child that you think will do
440
:him harm, whatever his own wishes may
441
:Steph: Yeah, amen.
442
:Mm hmm.
443
:Betsy: That sums up a lot
444
:Jen: Yeah.
445
:Betsy: we don't have to worry, I
mean we do, have to worry things
446
:but we can certainly trust the Lord
in many things, but it's not just
447
:purity that we're talking about.
448
:There are other areas of life that are
important to guard a child's heart.
449
:in and I think some of those
are just a Christian worldview.
450
:A worldview in a child is formed
pretty much by age nine and
451
:pretty much solidified by age
13 according to George Barna.
452
:And so we really want to Be helping
develop a strong biblical Christian
453
:worldview with young children.
454
:It's that foundation that
Jen was talking about.
455
:We're going to help
them memorize scripture.
456
:We're going to help them learn truth.
457
:We're going to be there to guide them.
458
:And then another one is just their
view of money and possessions.
459
:Do they own them or they are
really all belong to God?
460
:This is something that we have
to teach our children to guard
461
:their hearts and minds about.
462
:very important.
463
:Another one might be just how
easily do you follow the crowd?
464
:How easily are you seduced?
465
:How easily are you just
pulled in to be the follower?
466
:or can you stand up?
467
:Can you stand by conviction?
468
:Can you remain alert?
469
:Can you stand up for the
person that being bullied?
470
:Jen: So
471
:Betsy: it has to do guarding their
hearts just with their convictions.
472
:Can they be people of convictions?
473
:Can they stand up for
the things of the Lord?
474
:Another one we talked about
already, morality and purity.
475
:And that's a big one.
476
:Two other ones.
477
:Discretion or overexposure to
technology and electronics.
478
:I think we could probably spend
a good amount of time on this.
479
:It's not just seeing the wrong things.
480
:Sometimes it's just seeing
too much of something.
481
:And the last one, the fear of versus
fascination with the mysticism,
482
:which is a huge trendy thing right
now in books and movies, mysticism.
483
:So anybody want to address any of
these six areas that we address in
484
:Emily: I would say, attach being a
follower and having discernment there
485
:with also seeking out good friendships
and not just following the crowd,
486
:but seeking friendships that are,
that are strong and and edifying.
487
:All children are different.
488
:Some children are leader, leaders,
some children are followers and parents
489
:know, parents know which they have.
490
:And so that discussion
might be a little more.
491
:important to take it a little further
for some than it is for others.
492
:And so especially our young men,
which I'm so burdened for lately,
493
:but especially our young men talking
to them about being strong leaders.
494
:And of course with, with with wisdom,
but not always just being a follower,
495
:but leading and leading well in, in a
strong and God centered masculine way.
496
:Jen: That's great.
497
:I also think of influence, like how
many good we get in our kids lives?
498
:You know, they they talk about
that you're the average of What the
499
:six people that you are around the
most and and if you average that
500
:out That's about who you will be.
501
:And so if that's the case I
want to increase the amount of
502
:good influences in their life.
503
:And that reminds me in 1st Corinthians
3 Verse 6 it talks about I planted,
504
:Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.
505
:And so Yes, the Lord is the one that's
working in all of their lives, but he also
506
:allows other people to have an input, to
be able to water, to be able to plant,
507
:to be able to plant those seeds and those
thoughts into their minds and hearts.
508
:And so just making sure that us
as parents are planting those
509
:wonderful seeds in their hearts
and being good influences ourself.
510
:Another J.
511
:C.
512
:Ryle quote, I just love some of his
books, but it says to give children good
513
:instruction and a bad example is but
beckoning them with the head to show them
514
:the way to heaven, while we take them by
the hand and lead them in the way to hell.
515
:No one of us can live
himself in this world.
516
:We are always influencing those
around us, either for God or for sin.
517
:Fathers and mothers, do not forget
that children learn more by the
518
:eye than they do by the ear.
519
:And just knowing everything that we're
doing is influencing our children.
520
:When you spend time with them, that's
part of why we went to homeschool.
521
:We'd have more time to influence them.
522
:And so when we're spending time with them
and are we influencing them for things of
523
:the world and, or are we think influencing
them for things of the Lord and the
524
:ways of the Lord and the ways that he
would have for them his kingdom someday.
525
:Betsy: My husband, when he played
526
:football, his coach
527
:used to say, you, you're either getting
better, Or you're getting worse.
528
:You never stay the same.
529
:Any particular day, you are never
staying the same as the day before.
530
:You're either going a getting
a little bit better, or you're
531
:falling behind a little bit.
532
:And I can relate that to our spiritual
lives, and especially as we're
533
:talking about this tug of two realms.
534
:Because we don't just sit on.
535
:one spot.
536
:We are either pulling, being subtly pulled
one direction and not even realizing it.
537
:So, I think it is an important
concept to discuss with kids
538
:and what they're listening to.
539
:And I, I agree with Emily.
540
:A huge influence is their friends.
541
:If they've got great
friends, wow, that is...
542
:That's awesome because that will help
them stay away from so much and really
543
:be able to get into fun activities
together where they don't feel the
544
:pressure to do everything that other
kids are doing, but just almost
545
:enjoy childhood a little bit longer.
546
:You know, everything is being
thrown at them so young,
547
:Jen: Going back to the idea of negative
influences or things that we wouldn't
548
:want our children to be exposed to or
to be around, in Ezekiel 33, 5 and 6,
549
:it talks about He heard the sound of
the trumpet and did not take warning.
550
:His blood shall be upon himself.
551
:But if he had taken warning,
he would have saved his life.
552
:But if the watchman sees the sword coming
and does not blow the trumpet so that
553
:the people are not warned and the sword
comes and takes any one of them, that
554
:person is taken away in his iniquity.
555
:But his blood I will require
at the watchman's hand.
556
:And I just think of us as parents.
557
:We're those watchmen.
558
:Our job and our duty is to make sure that
we are doing everything we can to tell our
559
:kids like, look, this is evil, not this.
560
:That, choose this, not that,
or be aware Satan is out there.
561
:He's lurking, or the seductive
woman is just around the corner.
562
:Be careful.
563
:And constantly being that watchman
and allowing them to know that like.
564
:It's not an easy walk through life
without any conflict or without any
565
:temptation, and to be watchful, to
be mindful, and to take every thought
566
:captive, and to take every relationship.
567
:Is this a relationship
that I can be pouring into?
568
:Actually, as I was reading in my
devotions this morning, it was talking
569
:about I think it was in 1 Corinthians
15, it said, 33 talks about bad
570
:company corrupts good character.
571
:And then it goes on to say, some
of them have no knowledge of
572
:God, and that is to your shame.
573
:so when we're talking with our kids,
like, Yes, the people that don't have
574
:knowledge of the Lord, you can take
that, depending on the age of the child,
575
:obviously, and whether that's appropriate,
but you can take that situation where
576
:they have no knowledge of the Lord
and you can tell them about the Lord.
577
:You can use that as a way to introduce
Jesus to them and, and to not have that
578
:be to our shame for not having them
know something about the Lord and all
579
:of these situations, you have a choice
to make when you're in a hard situation.
580
:Are you going to?
581
:Encourage that brother or encourage
that stranger to walk towards the Lord,
582
:or are you just going to kind of bow
out and shyly walk away and ignore it?
583
:How are you going to handle that,
and what way can you do that it would
584
:be the most glorifying to the Lord?
585
:Silence.
586
:Steph: I love that scripture.
587
:It makes me think of, one of the
most common things my dad told us
588
:growing up, he was a Marine and
589
:he'd say if there were two soldiers
that got into a fight, who gets
590
:in the most amount of trouble?
591
:Is it the soldier who threw
the punch first or who
592
:retaliated?
593
:And we'd be like, well, probably
the one first, but he'd say no.
594
:It was the one who was watching
and didn't step in and stop it.
595
:And he always told us, you
don't stand by and watch.
596
:And, just as Emily was talking
about, we have leaders or followers.
597
:We are going to have probably one child
or two children that would just be the
598
:one who's going to stay on the sideline.
599
:Maybe they're not.
600
:Being as tempted, but
are they guiding others?
601
:Are they being a positive influence?
602
:Emily: Yes, and you'll never regret having
all of these talks with your children.
603
:I love, I can't remember what a chapter
it is, but in Entrusted Betsy, you broke
604
:it down so beautifully into the ages
that progression of maturity and what
605
:they, and what it looks like as far as
discipleship goes in those different
606
:seasons and really, you know, we just have
this precious amount of time to learning.
607
:Pour and pour and pour into them
and it changes with each season.
608
:It looks a little different,
but but the Lord entrusted us
609
:with them to pour into them.
610
:And and we should be taking every
advantage and not be discouraged by the
611
:number of talks that we need to have,
but be encouraged because they're placed
612
:in our care with purpose and reason.
613
:And And these talks will,
they're never in vain.
614
:So so that's an encouraging word
as you look through the different
615
:seasons and what it may look like.
616
:Steph: We're going to have
these daily, constant sources
617
:of material to talk about, right?
618
:And so keeping that close relationship
with your kids, making sure that
619
:you really have their heart.
620
:It's not about demanding
a certain behavior.
621
:It's about really...
622
:Pointing their heart towards the
Lord and that they know that you're
623
:for them, that you are trying to set
them up for success in this world and
624
:that you want them to run in the path
of the Lord's commandments and, and
625
:that that brings you such delight.
626
:So rejoicing with them in the successes
and being gracious with them when
627
:they do struggle so that they're not
afraid to tell you when they struggle.
628
:So I think keeping that open communication
is So key and entrusted and one of the
629
:key principles, and obviously that's
so the heart of the Lord, right?
630
:he wants us to run to him and be
quick to repent, not to run and hide.
631
:And so we can model, his gracious,
forgiving heart to our children
632
:when they fall short and, and
share with them, you know, maybe
633
:a time that we also fell short.
634
:Betsy: Just a couple of principles
to remember sort of as overarching
635
:thoughts when we're working and
thinking about guiding we can't
636
:guard our children's hearts from
every evil thing we can't isolate and
637
:protect them from seeing, hearing.
638
:Even sometimes doing, getting
caught up in certain things.
639
:But what we have to remember is
that Our hearts are inclined.
640
:We're not just talking about controlling
outward behavior in our children.
641
:We're talking about winning their hearts
for the Lord that they themselves Would
642
:want to live by the, for the Lord by
their own convictions and not mom dad's.
643
:There comes a time in life when they
own their own faith, when they're not
644
:taking mom and dad's Faith for granted,
but when we think, well, we can just
645
:isolate our kids and nothing's going
to happen because I'm going to really,
646
:really protect them from the world,
that isolation is not, is really not
647
:the answer because you can be isolated.
648
:As most major criminals, You
hear their background story
649
:and they isolated themselves.
650
:It's because have!
651
:evil intents in our own hearts, don't we?
652
:So, I think really well said today
that we take what happens, like looking
653
:at the store instead of the light.
654
:We say yes.
655
:This happened here, but now what can I do?
656
:I can confess it and I have a way back.
657
:The gospel is so gracious to say
when you slip, when you fall, this
658
:is How you have a remedy that God
will you can be restored to the Lord
659
:and that thing can be gone forever.
660
:So I think that's a really
important thing to teach our kids.
661
:When they do fall, there's a way back.
662
:And also, we have remember
that we can't protect them from
663
:everything or isolate them.
664
:I Think our weapons are, Our Ephesians
6, the armor of God, and we talked about
665
:those things already, a sure foundation
of scripture, the word, good friends, good
666
:parents, the Holy Spirit to guide us, our
instincts, even the word of God in prayer
667
:are really direct hits against the enemy.
668
:Another one is we need to be out
in the world, sharing our faith.
669
:But we don't need to be overcome by it,
overwhelmed by it, overtaken by it, so
670
:that it unduly influences us towards
evil, so that it pulls us that opposite
671
:way that we want to be going, but that
we bring God's perspective to people.
672
:I know my daughter used to say
when she was in college, she would
673
:hear somebody talk about something
and she'd say, you really need to
674
:hear God's perspective about this.
675
:And really she's saying is, I can counter
that thinking with something Biblical and
676
:I would really love to share it with you.
677
:And another one is we aren't
slaves to our instincts.
678
:In the Lord, we do not have
to follow the instincts.
679
:We are free.
680
:And that freedom is great.
681
:And so often we can get so bogged down
thinking, Oh, the world is horrible.
682
:We are free in the Lord.
683
:And it's A wonderful thing.
684
:It's a wonderful thing.
685
:And, and, but it can be a challenging
thing to prepare children to live in
686
:that world and not be swallowed up by it.
687
:But I believe that the
Lord is with us in it.
688
:It's, it's what, what Jen said.
689
:We have a dual partnership in this.
690
:We're watchmen, but the
Lord is with us in this.
691
:And it goes along with our very
first verse, Psalm 127 from
692
:Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
693
:Yes, it definitely does.
694
:Unless the Lord builds the house.
695
:They labor in vain who built it.
696
:Unless the Lord guards, the city,
the Watchman keeps awake in Maine.
697
:So I just wanted to say that for
anyone who hasn't taken the class.
698
:It is so encouraging to know
that we are doing this with the
699
:Lord and that he is the Watchman.
700
:And we just would like to say that
these are some overarching principles
701
:or things that the Lord has put on
our hearts through the years, but
702
:this is not a comprehensive episode.
703
:We will definitely be coming back
to specific strategies to tackle.
704
:These increasingly complicated
issues in our society.
705
:If you've been blessed by this podcast,
would you consider writing a review?
706
:And leaving your comments.
707
:We would love to spread the word to more
moms that are looking for biblical wisdom.
708
:And the more reviews that we have, the
more this podcast will get recommended.
709
:So we really appreciate your help in that.
710
:Also if you have questions that
you would like answered you can
711
:reach out to us at 1, 2, 4, 0.
712
:Two zero.
713
:Again, that's 1, 2, 4 0 2 0 2.
714
:4 2, 4, 6.
715
:Or you can head to
interested ministries.com.
716
:And fill out a contact form.
717
:Either way.
718
:. We would love to hear from you
719
:We know you're busy, Mama, so
we are truly grateful you joined
720
:us for this episode of Again.
721
:If you're looking for more information
about building your home on the
722
:foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.
723
:EntrustedMinistries.
724
:com to learn more about our study for
moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
725
:This scripture saturated study
has blessed families around the
726
:world, and we want it for you, too.
727
:Before you go, I want to pray
this benediction over you
728
:from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.
729
:We're rooting for you.
730
:To this end, we always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of His
731
:calling, and may fulfill every resolve
for good, and every work of faith by
732
:His power, so that the name of our Lord
Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in
733
:Him, according to the grace of our God.
734
:And the Lord Jesus Christ.
735
:Amen.
736
:Until we meet again.