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Untangling Our Children's Influences: Guiding and Guarding Our Greatest Gifts
Episode 827th September 2023 • Again • Entrusted Ministries
00:00:00 00:43:12

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Motherhood at home is difficult enough... but guiding our children in this constantly-changing world is next-level complicated! In this episode Betsy, Emily, Jen, and Steph discuss overarching principles for pointing our children to Christ wherever they may be. (This episode corresponds with Entrusted with a Child's Heart: Lesson 3.)

Scriptures Mentioned:

Psalm 119:1-16

Psalm 119:37

1 Corinthians 3:6

Ezekiel 33:5-6

1 Corinthians 15:33

Ephesians 6:10-18

Psalm 127:1

Transcripts

Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children

shout on the swings, the exhausting

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agains of cooking and laundry, and

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called

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to, and went to bed believing we

are faithful in what matters most?

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We believe God's word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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This episode of again, is brought

to you by interested ministries.

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And I'm your host, Stephanie Hickox today.

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I am joined by our entire

cast of amazing women.

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We've got Betty Corning,

Emily DL and Jen Frackman.

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And we'll be discussing, guiding your

children amidst outside influences.

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In a previous episode, we talked about

common influences for us as mothers.

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And today we'll focus about how to

guide our children towards pursuing

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and loving Christ regardless of

their circumstance and situation.

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We're going to be discussing

the tug of two realms.

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From interested with the

child's heart chapter three.

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We can either be pulled towards

righteousness and Christ-like

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behavior or towards unrighteousness

and worldly influence.

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We're never just standing still.

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And as many of our kids are

settling into new routines at

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school sports or activities.

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We think this is a great time to

evaluate their outside influences.

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So, thanks for joining us for this latest

episode of the untangled series, where

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we're untangling biblical motherhood.

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Let's get to it

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Steph: let's start off with a fun

question aunt Betsy, what was your

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favorite game to play or way to

spend time when you were younger?

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Betsy: Well, I have to

admit, I love to read books

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my sisters and mom.

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We played a lot of solitaire,

which wasn't really solitaire.

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It was playing with two,

three, or four people.

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Or even more sometimes.

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It was really fast fun.

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And we played some Parcheesi

and Rook Monopoly, which we've

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all played and we just had fun.

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We had fun making things,

being creative with things.

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My sister and I, my younger sister

especially, we would make what we called

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Barbie houses with pieces of carpet for

the floors for the rooms and then we would

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make the furniture and we didn't really

even have Barbies or play with the towels.

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We just made the houses and we would keep

them out for a week all over the floor.

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And another thing we did a lot was

we would make cookies and dye the

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cookie dough and then make very

elaborate cookies like bowls of

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fruit and hats with flowers and all

kinds of things, but it was so fun.

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It was, I guess, our play doh

that we ate, kind of, right?

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Jen: that's amazing.

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Betsy: Still use that recipe.

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Steph: How about you, Jen?

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How did you like to spend your time

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Jen: I definitely like to be outside.

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Anything that was Outdoors, playing with

neighbor kids, swinging on our backyard

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tire swing swimming, riding bikes.

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I remember we would ride bikes.

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My dad worked in a factory

and so he would get home at 3.

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30 every day and by 4.

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30 we were done eating dinner

and we would go take a bike ride.

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And it was so fun.

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So anything that was outside

is definitely how I would want

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to spend my time as a kid.

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Steph: That's great.

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I'm going to have some similar

answers to Aunt Betsy because you.

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and my mom like to do the same things,

and so I think she passed those things

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on to me, I liked Play Doh a lot.

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Definitely cards and games.

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That was a big one.

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Bike rides.

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My mom and I would take these walks

in our neighborhood and We would look

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at the houses and we would say, okay,

if you could only change one thing

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about each house, what would you do?

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Jen: okay i it

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Steph: we just

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design and, things like that.

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So those are some fun memories

that were really pretty regular.

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Betsy: My son Lee said to me one time,

you know, you kind of grow up as the

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inside child or an outside child.

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And I think I can see

the, the difference here.

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I mean, we did outside things

of course, but mostly I think

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I was kind of an inside.

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Steph: sure, All right,

Emily, how about you?

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What was your favorite way to

spend time when you were a child?

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Emily: Swing in the backyard.

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We had a huge tree out back and my

dad put a huge rope swing up and we

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spent hours on that swing, my brother

and I that and playing in the creek.

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We had a creek out back and we would

explore the creek and pull treasures

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out and we would hide them in the

hole of a tree and tuck them in.

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And we said it was our time capsule,

but in our childhood that we played

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on the swing and in the creek,

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Steph: I want say ding, ding, ding.

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That is the correct answer on this show.

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Swinging on the swing.

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Jen: that's great.

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Steph: Aw, that's fun.

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Jen, you said something

about swinging too, right?

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I'm sure we all loved it.

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The question is, can you still handle

it as you're aging I get a little bit

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of motion sickness now if I go for long.

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Jen, we've talked about you homeschool

your children and so it looks different

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in your home But we're always releasing

our children in a wise way So what

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does that look like in your home?

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And what are some guidelines

that you've set up?

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Jen: Sure, we I would think the first

thing that we think about whenever we're

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talking with our kids is making sure

that they first and foremost have a solid

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biblical understanding of how the world

works, Even memorizing scripture, things

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into their hearts so that when we do send

them out and they're in the world, that

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they have the firm foundation of Christ's

words and scriptures in their heart and

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in their minds so that they can protect

them and guard them and give them wisdom

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to speak into different relationships

and conversations that they have.

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Just trying to make sure that, We're not

guarding them from every conversation

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of anybody who might not think the same

way as us, you know, not, definitely

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not that, but when they do encounter

somebody that might be speaking falsely

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or against what scripture would say, that

they would realize That, that's error and

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that, that is not what God's word says.

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And so they're equipped by having

the scriptures and, and definitely,

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you know, we've done Awana for years.

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We've done scripture memory, anything

that we can to, whenever we're reading

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the Bible, just trying to apply it

to the everyday of life of how they

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might encounter this in culture or

in friendships or, you know, even at

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the grocery store, because people at

the grocery store even can stop and

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talk and give their opinion on things.

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Steph: Absolutely.

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Yep.

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Especially around Christmas time right?

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Mm hmm.

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Jen: for sure.

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Yeah, the whole,

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what is Santa going to bring you today?

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That type of

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Steph: Yep.

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You have to be prepared

for all those things.

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Betsy: Well, how about the music in

I was in a store the other day and

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I couldn't believe the words of I

thought, do they really know what

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they're projecting out into their store?

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The meanings are And of course people are

bringing their children into these stores

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and they're listening to these words and

they're probably singing these words.

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And they don't even they're saying

It's pretty, it's pretty eye opening

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if you listen to some of the songs.

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Steph: it is.

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And there are, there are those soundtracks

or CDs that they'll take pop hits and

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then have kids sing them, but they'll

edit out inappropriate words, but they

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don't edit inappropriate concepts.

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And it's really shocking me sometimes

the things that they're having children

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sing, and now all of a sudden it's

supposed to be okay because they

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took out the Lord's name in vain.

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It's like, it's, it's not a song children

should be singing, and, and I think

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that's, it's so deceptive, isn't it?

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Betsy: Very much.

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I think Jen's point is a good

one that we want to be proactive.

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we want to set a firm foundation

before we have to be reactive.

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Before kids have thought about

something, gotten involved in

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something, seen something, and then

we're having a reactive situation.

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There will be those.

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Don't mistake that there

will be those situations.

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Just prepare yourself as a mother to know?

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that there will be some situations

that you wouldn't wish for your kids

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to have to deal with, but they will.

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And, but the more that you have set that

foundation of this is how we think, this

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is our worldview as believers in the

Lord, you will set them on a course.

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that guards against that.

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I think you know, Jen, I

heard her say once saying yes.

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is also saying no to something

else, to the opposite thing.

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And in entrusted, about

the tug of two realms.

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What, what are you involved in?

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Is it pulling you more towards

the Lord, or is it pulling

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you more away from the Lord?

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What friends that with and the thing that

you watched and the thing that you heard?

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Does that make you think more about

the Lord, or does it pull you away?

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And I think that's an important thing

for kids to think about because if we are

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watching their progressive sanctification

and they're moving more in the Way.

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of the Lord as they get older, it

really, they're not even interested

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in going that other direction.

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There's the tug two realms that we

really have to help our children with.

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Jen: Totally.

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Emily: Always that tug.

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We, it seems at the beginning of

every school year evaluate kind

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of what talks we need to have.

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Going into whatever grade

it is we're going into.

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And so, you know, our son is

going to be a junior this year.

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And so we were just talking the

other night about what talks

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we need to have before school.

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They know where we stand with

all of the things that we've laid

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out for years, but you always are

adjusting and tweaking these little

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things situationally that come up.

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As they progress in age.

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And so we always kind of evaluate where

they're at each year and sit down and

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have a conversation about the things

that may arise, boyfriends, girlfriends

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parties even getting to know the parents

of our children's friends, we've always

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tried to invest in those relationships.

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So we know the homes that they'll

be going into and, and so we always

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evaluate where, where we're at

and have continuing conversations

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as we enter into the school year.

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And we always, even though our

kids are older, and this may seem

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silly, we establish the routine,

get, you know, a couple weeks

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before school, reestablish bedtimes.

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And all of those kinds of things

because, you know, we're in summer mode.

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And so we reevaluate all

of those things as well.

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It's just a nice time to really gain

perspective of the season you're entering

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into, what you need to do to kind of

nest and make sure it's successful.

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And so it's kind of a

refreshing time of reevaluation

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for families.

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That's an excellent idea.

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Jen: I

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love that idea.

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I love that.

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That is like so wise and so practical and

so easy to do, but when maybe you start

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the year without realizing like, Oh,

you're another year older, there's going

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to be new things that you're exposed to

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Betsy: not only that, but, you

know, you're trying to be proactive,

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but then you find out that kids

are learning these things younger

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and younger and younger, and the

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danger is that kids

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Betsy: minds aren't necessarily

ready to receive the information

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Jen: That's great.

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I'm actually reading this book

called Your Teenager is Not Crazy.

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It's a really good book

from a Christian worldview.

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But one of The things that they

said was that teenagers learn best

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by given going through real life

scenarios and real life examples.

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And so, you Instead of saying, don't

do this, you kind of can tell a story

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to your teen and be like, you know,

this and this and this happened or

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this and this and this could happen

because imagine what this would

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look like if this and this and this.

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And so you can kind of paint the

picture for them through a story,

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which is exactly what God did.

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He is constantly talking in stories when

Jesus was on this earth, you know, So

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Yeah,

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exactly.

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So I thought that was kind of cool and

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so applicable to the back to school

with being like, okay, you're in a new

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grade, a new year for you, new friends,

new teachers, all of those things.

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And what are some, you know, experiences

or what are some situations that

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you could be in and how do you

think you'll handle it when what if

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this were to happen?

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Steph: I know you said earlier the

tug of two realms, but scripture

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also says all things are permissible,

but not all things are beneficial.

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So saying this might be something

that feels neutral, but is it really?

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And evaluating the pull that it has on us.

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Jen, you said earlier, that focus on

Christ, that we're not just talking

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about sheltering or avoiding, you know,

experiences with temptation or evil.

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We're talking about

filling up with the Lord.

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And I think Psalm 119 is just the most

beautiful chapter to meditate upon.

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And I, the entire chapter is so beautiful

because of the reliance upon God's word.

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You know, this is the way to stay pure.

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And so I'm just going to read

some of those verses from

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the beginning of the chapter.

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Blessed are those whose way is blameless,

who walk in the law of the Lord.

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Blessed are those who keep his

testimonies, who seek him with

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their whole heart, who also do

no wrong, but walk in his ways.

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You have commanded your

precepts to be kept diligently.

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Oh, that my ways may be steadfast

in keeping your statutes.

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Then I shall not be put to shame, having

my eyes fixed on all your commandments.

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I will praise you with an upright heart

when I learn your righteous rules.

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I will keep your statutes.

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Do not utterly forsake me.

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How can a young man keep his way pure?

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By guarding it according to your word.

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With my whole heart I seek you.

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Let me not wander from your commandments.

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I have stored up thy word in your

heart that I might not sin against you.

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Blessed are you, O Lord,

teach me your statutes.

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With my lips I declare all

the rules of your mouth.

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In the way of your testimonies I

delight as much as in all riches.

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I will meditate on your precepts

and fix my eyes on your ways.

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I will delight in your statutes.

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I will not forget your word.

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And so if our kids are continually

reading words like that, the truths

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of scripture, that it's God's

precepts and meditating on them.

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That keeps us from temptation.

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That's how we can have an upright heart,

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And even the prayers in

that, I love to ask God.

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Fill me with a desire for your word.

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Help me to honor and glorify you.

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Later in the chapter it says,

I will run in the path of your

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commandment when you enlarge my heart.

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And so, teaching them to pray the words of

scripture to help them stay faithful when

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they do enter a challenging situation.

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Emily: I

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love the verse that said, that talked

about how can a young man keep his way?

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I think it was.

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And it said by guarding his heart, I

I found myself recently in a certain

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situation and I thought, Oh Lord,

I just want a bubble for my kids.

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I don't want to guard their heart.

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I just want to like bubble them.

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And so I love that verse about

guarding your children's heart.

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But we can't.

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There is no way we can bubble wrap

them from this world, but we can equip

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them with the Word of God that will

guard their heart and, and ultimately

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give discernment and wisdom if they,

if they choose to dwell in the Word.

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So that was an encouraging word,

even to me, where I'm at right now.

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Betsy: Well, I like what

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Steffi said when she said run.

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So you run from the temptation always.

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If our kids know that we run

this that is going to pull them

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in the way of righteousness.

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At first we, they might be taking

little baby steps, but they're

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going in the right direction.

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And then as we see their faithfulness

to that, living in obedience.

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They learn how to walk in

righteousness with the Lord.

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And I think that really

guards a child's heart.

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It really, really does.

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Of course, you know, we're

talking about all ages here.

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We could even talk about ourselves and our

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betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:

husbands and

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Betsy: our purity before the Lord.

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And are we accountable in

the things that we're doing?

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Some I used to always say, if, if

our kids can't watch this movie,

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that our teenagers are 15 year old.

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Then we're not going to watch it.

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It's just not, it's

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really not going to be edifying

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Steph: hmm,

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Betsy: to us.

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And that's true.

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There's so much, so many things out

there that really aren't edifying.

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I think my kids would have heard

me say that a thousand times.

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Okay, it's popular, but is it edifying?

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Does it build you up in the

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Lord?

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Steph: Right.

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And modeling those, having those

conversations of, this is what I

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avoid because I know my heart is

sensitive explaining to them that

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I do the same thing for my faith.

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And it's not, it's not an insult

to their faith that we're putting

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guardrails up saying, this is just

what wisdom does as a believer.

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You avoid certain things so that

you can draw closer to the Lord.

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I have three very justice oriented

little boys in my home and it's been

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really interesting to teach them strong

convictions and then also to teach

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them to be gracious with others and and

not that they Would claim that they're

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following, every standard perfectly,

but it's just really interesting

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sometimes how dogmatic they can be.

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I've had to learn the kind of that balance

of, yes, this is a standard in our home.

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Other families might choose to use

words that we don't use and we don't

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need to hold them to that standard.

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There might be a loving way you can

correct them, but if people haven't

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brought their lives under submission

to Christ, we would not expect

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their lives to look, like ours and.

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And so we've just had some

interesting situations as I'm trying

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to teach my children, what does

it look like to share your faith

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or, or to share your convictions?

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How do we do that in a

gracious and loving way?

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And in almost to the point, sometimes

I'm like, all right, now I just

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want you to love them with actions.

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Your words have been very strong.

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And I love that you

have strong convictions.

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And even in that, I'm excited.

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My little boys, are going to lead

families hopefully someday, right?

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And so when they have strong convictions

to embrace that, but to also teach them

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gentleness in it but just in case there

are any mamas out there who have Peters in

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their home and you feel like, oh man, that

came across a little differently to others

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than I intended, I can certainly relate.

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Jen: Okay.

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One of the things that we've spoken

to our kids is actually in Psalm

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119, I think it's verse 37 that says,

we turn our eyes from evil things.

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out in public, if they're you

know, at school, at a co op or

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anywhere where we are with other

friends, and Our, our family values,

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our family rules still apply.

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If we didn't allow you to have then

you shouldn't be looking at a friend's

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phone while at, out in public.

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And if there is something that we are,

even driving to Michigan, we will often

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see billboards or out on, you know, road

trips, we'll see billboards and I will.

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Be like, Oh guys, look, and I'll point to

the opposite direction of like something

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else to look at, you know, just trying to

turn their eyes from these evil things.

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Betsy: I said to David one particular

state we are never driving through

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again with kids because it was so

inappropriate , and I don't know

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how they thought that was okay.

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Steph: Daniel Huerta, he works for

Focus on the Family and I just had

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the blessing of hearing him speak at a

homeschooling conference and he said he

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:

needed to walk through a mall with his

young son and he knew we've got to walk

368

:

past that store and it's coming up and

so he said, Honey, I want you to look.

369

:

Do you see the light at

the end of that hallway?

370

:

I want you to.

371

:

Fix your eyes on that light

and we're going to keep

372

:

walking toward the light, okay?

373

:

And so they got past the store

and he saw his son turn and look.

374

:

So when they got a little bit farther,

he stopped and he said, you know, he

375

:

looked at his son and he could tell

his son looked a little ashamed.

376

:

And he said, you know, did you, were you

able to keep your eyes fixed on the light?

377

:

And he's like, no, daddy, I looked.

378

:

He's like, okay, so how did

you feel when you looked?

379

:

And he talked through

the experience with him.

380

:

And I thought, He just spoke of it so

beautifully of, he didn't shame him, you

381

:

know, he recognized that of course the

temptation is there, and he used it as

382

:

a teaching moment, like a silver platter

moment, like you talk about an entrusted,

383

:

but I think making sure that we're

available to talk through the experiences

384

:

that our children are having, wherever it

may be, I think that's really important.

385

:

It could be after a church sleepover,

it could be after they went to your best

386

:

friend's house that you trust implicitly.

387

:

Just making time to process through the

different experiences they're having

388

:

so that if things are coming up, you're

using it as a teachable moment and that

389

:

you're not taken aback years later at

something, that flew under the radar.

390

:

Maybe counseling is needed.

391

:

Maybe you need to go deeper with it.

392

:

Betsy: Yeah, and to that end, I would like

to say that if any mother has somebody

393

:

asked them if their child can come to

this or come to that, and they feel the

394

:

pressure, and maybe their child doesn't

even want to go especially, but they're

395

:

feeling the pressure because maybe

the aunt or the uncle or the cousin.

396

:

wants them to come, it's a camp out or

whatever it is, and you don't feel right

397

:

about it, don't make your child go.

398

:

Especially if your child

doesn't want to go.

399

:

Your child has a sense about it, he

doesn't want to, she doesn't want to be

400

:

put in a particular situation, and if the

mom has that sense and the child doesn't

401

:

even, but the mom does, then don't do it.

402

:

I can tell you.

403

:

So many heartbreaking instances where

somebody will tell me after the fact, I

404

:

had a bad feeling about but I let them go.

405

:

And their children are struggling

with something that happened that.

406

:

trip or that overnight or whatever it was.

407

:

Jen: Huh.

408

:

Betsy: You just have to really be careful,

really watch who your children are with

409

:

when they're, when they're not with you.

410

:

We don't want to keep

them so, so isolated.

411

:

But, we also want to be really careful.

412

:

If we have a feeling don't have them go.

413

:

And you can just say, said I can't go.

414

:

Emily: That is such a good word.

415

:

That's such a good word.

416

:

I think though we've had recent

conversations that what we call, you

417

:

know, those gut feelings with, with

our kids, with my youngest, especially,

418

:

I think it's often the Holy Spirit's

prompting Because he's, he's telling

419

:

us, we ask him for discernment, we ask

him for wisdom, and he tells us in those

420

:

moments, and we still doubt, oh, is that,

am I, am I, am I just overthinking it?

421

:

But I do think it's the Holy Spirit

prompting in those kinds of situations

422

:

and I think it's so important to listen to

423

:

that.

424

:

betsy-5duhojdvc_betsy-2023-7-2619-17-56:

Agreed.

425

:

Jen: There's a quote from a book that I

read called The Duties of Parents by J.

426

:

C.

427

:

Ryle, and it says, Do not fear

withholding anything from your child

428

:

that you think will do him harm,

whatever his own wishes may be.

429

:

So even if.

430

:

You know, we all are fighting our

children, I'm sure, at some point

431

:

about cell phones and what age they

get to get one and what age they don't.

432

:

But if we feel in our hearts that the

Holy Spirit is saying this is not going to

433

:

benefit them, this is going to harm them

more at this age, don't fear withholding

434

:

that because culture doesn't withhold it,

but allow the Lord to be the guide home

435

:

stephanie-1mxoasmux_stephanie-2023-7-2619-17-56:

Mm hmm.

436

:

Jen: culture.

437

:

Betsy: said.

438

:

can you even read that more?

439

:

Jen: Do not fear withholding anything

from your child that you think will do

440

:

him harm, whatever his own wishes may

441

:

Steph: Yeah, amen.

442

:

Mm hmm.

443

:

Betsy: That sums up a lot

444

:

Jen: Yeah.

445

:

Betsy: we don't have to worry, I

mean we do, have to worry things

446

:

but we can certainly trust the Lord

in many things, but it's not just

447

:

purity that we're talking about.

448

:

There are other areas of life that are

important to guard a child's heart.

449

:

in and I think some of those

are just a Christian worldview.

450

:

A worldview in a child is formed

pretty much by age nine and

451

:

pretty much solidified by age

13 according to George Barna.

452

:

And so we really want to Be helping

develop a strong biblical Christian

453

:

worldview with young children.

454

:

It's that foundation that

Jen was talking about.

455

:

We're going to help

them memorize scripture.

456

:

We're going to help them learn truth.

457

:

We're going to be there to guide them.

458

:

And then another one is just their

view of money and possessions.

459

:

Do they own them or they are

really all belong to God?

460

:

This is something that we have

to teach our children to guard

461

:

their hearts and minds about.

462

:

very important.

463

:

Another one might be just how

easily do you follow the crowd?

464

:

How easily are you seduced?

465

:

How easily are you just

pulled in to be the follower?

466

:

or can you stand up?

467

:

Can you stand by conviction?

468

:

Can you remain alert?

469

:

Can you stand up for the

person that being bullied?

470

:

Jen: So

471

:

Betsy: it has to do guarding their

hearts just with their convictions.

472

:

Can they be people of convictions?

473

:

Can they stand up for

the things of the Lord?

474

:

Another one we talked about

already, morality and purity.

475

:

And that's a big one.

476

:

Two other ones.

477

:

Discretion or overexposure to

technology and electronics.

478

:

I think we could probably spend

a good amount of time on this.

479

:

It's not just seeing the wrong things.

480

:

Sometimes it's just seeing

too much of something.

481

:

And the last one, the fear of versus

fascination with the mysticism,

482

:

which is a huge trendy thing right

now in books and movies, mysticism.

483

:

So anybody want to address any of

these six areas that we address in

484

:

Emily: I would say, attach being a

follower and having discernment there

485

:

with also seeking out good friendships

and not just following the crowd,

486

:

but seeking friendships that are,

that are strong and and edifying.

487

:

All children are different.

488

:

Some children are leader, leaders,

some children are followers and parents

489

:

know, parents know which they have.

490

:

And so that discussion

might be a little more.

491

:

important to take it a little further

for some than it is for others.

492

:

And so especially our young men,

which I'm so burdened for lately,

493

:

but especially our young men talking

to them about being strong leaders.

494

:

And of course with, with with wisdom,

but not always just being a follower,

495

:

but leading and leading well in, in a

strong and God centered masculine way.

496

:

Jen: That's great.

497

:

I also think of influence, like how

many good we get in our kids lives?

498

:

You know, they they talk about

that you're the average of What the

499

:

six people that you are around the

most and and if you average that

500

:

out That's about who you will be.

501

:

And so if that's the case I

want to increase the amount of

502

:

good influences in their life.

503

:

And that reminds me in 1st Corinthians

3 Verse 6 it talks about I planted,

504

:

Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.

505

:

And so Yes, the Lord is the one that's

working in all of their lives, but he also

506

:

allows other people to have an input, to

be able to water, to be able to plant,

507

:

to be able to plant those seeds and those

thoughts into their minds and hearts.

508

:

And so just making sure that us

as parents are planting those

509

:

wonderful seeds in their hearts

and being good influences ourself.

510

:

Another J.

511

:

C.

512

:

Ryle quote, I just love some of his

books, but it says to give children good

513

:

instruction and a bad example is but

beckoning them with the head to show them

514

:

the way to heaven, while we take them by

the hand and lead them in the way to hell.

515

:

No one of us can live

himself in this world.

516

:

We are always influencing those

around us, either for God or for sin.

517

:

Fathers and mothers, do not forget

that children learn more by the

518

:

eye than they do by the ear.

519

:

And just knowing everything that we're

doing is influencing our children.

520

:

When you spend time with them, that's

part of why we went to homeschool.

521

:

We'd have more time to influence them.

522

:

And so when we're spending time with them

and are we influencing them for things of

523

:

the world and, or are we think influencing

them for things of the Lord and the

524

:

ways of the Lord and the ways that he

would have for them his kingdom someday.

525

:

Betsy: My husband, when he played

526

:

football, his coach

527

:

used to say, you, you're either getting

better, Or you're getting worse.

528

:

You never stay the same.

529

:

Any particular day, you are never

staying the same as the day before.

530

:

You're either going a getting

a little bit better, or you're

531

:

falling behind a little bit.

532

:

And I can relate that to our spiritual

lives, and especially as we're

533

:

talking about this tug of two realms.

534

:

Because we don't just sit on.

535

:

one spot.

536

:

We are either pulling, being subtly pulled

one direction and not even realizing it.

537

:

So, I think it is an important

concept to discuss with kids

538

:

and what they're listening to.

539

:

And I, I agree with Emily.

540

:

A huge influence is their friends.

541

:

If they've got great

friends, wow, that is...

542

:

That's awesome because that will help

them stay away from so much and really

543

:

be able to get into fun activities

together where they don't feel the

544

:

pressure to do everything that other

kids are doing, but just almost

545

:

enjoy childhood a little bit longer.

546

:

You know, everything is being

thrown at them so young,

547

:

Jen: Going back to the idea of negative

influences or things that we wouldn't

548

:

want our children to be exposed to or

to be around, in Ezekiel 33, 5 and 6,

549

:

it talks about He heard the sound of

the trumpet and did not take warning.

550

:

His blood shall be upon himself.

551

:

But if he had taken warning,

he would have saved his life.

552

:

But if the watchman sees the sword coming

and does not blow the trumpet so that

553

:

the people are not warned and the sword

comes and takes any one of them, that

554

:

person is taken away in his iniquity.

555

:

But his blood I will require

at the watchman's hand.

556

:

And I just think of us as parents.

557

:

We're those watchmen.

558

:

Our job and our duty is to make sure that

we are doing everything we can to tell our

559

:

kids like, look, this is evil, not this.

560

:

That, choose this, not that,

or be aware Satan is out there.

561

:

He's lurking, or the seductive

woman is just around the corner.

562

:

Be careful.

563

:

And constantly being that watchman

and allowing them to know that like.

564

:

It's not an easy walk through life

without any conflict or without any

565

:

temptation, and to be watchful, to

be mindful, and to take every thought

566

:

captive, and to take every relationship.

567

:

Is this a relationship

that I can be pouring into?

568

:

Actually, as I was reading in my

devotions this morning, it was talking

569

:

about I think it was in 1 Corinthians

15, it said, 33 talks about bad

570

:

company corrupts good character.

571

:

And then it goes on to say, some

of them have no knowledge of

572

:

God, and that is to your shame.

573

:

so when we're talking with our kids,

like, Yes, the people that don't have

574

:

knowledge of the Lord, you can take

that, depending on the age of the child,

575

:

obviously, and whether that's appropriate,

but you can take that situation where

576

:

they have no knowledge of the Lord

and you can tell them about the Lord.

577

:

You can use that as a way to introduce

Jesus to them and, and to not have that

578

:

be to our shame for not having them

know something about the Lord and all

579

:

of these situations, you have a choice

to make when you're in a hard situation.

580

:

Are you going to?

581

:

Encourage that brother or encourage

that stranger to walk towards the Lord,

582

:

or are you just going to kind of bow

out and shyly walk away and ignore it?

583

:

How are you going to handle that,

and what way can you do that it would

584

:

be the most glorifying to the Lord?

585

:

Silence.

586

:

Steph: I love that scripture.

587

:

It makes me think of, one of the

most common things my dad told us

588

:

growing up, he was a Marine and

589

:

he'd say if there were two soldiers

that got into a fight, who gets

590

:

in the most amount of trouble?

591

:

Is it the soldier who threw

the punch first or who

592

:

retaliated?

593

:

And we'd be like, well, probably

the one first, but he'd say no.

594

:

It was the one who was watching

and didn't step in and stop it.

595

:

And he always told us, you

don't stand by and watch.

596

:

And, just as Emily was talking

about, we have leaders or followers.

597

:

We are going to have probably one child

or two children that would just be the

598

:

one who's going to stay on the sideline.

599

:

Maybe they're not.

600

:

Being as tempted, but

are they guiding others?

601

:

Are they being a positive influence?

602

:

Emily: Yes, and you'll never regret having

all of these talks with your children.

603

:

I love, I can't remember what a chapter

it is, but in Entrusted Betsy, you broke

604

:

it down so beautifully into the ages

that progression of maturity and what

605

:

they, and what it looks like as far as

discipleship goes in those different

606

:

seasons and really, you know, we just have

this precious amount of time to learning.

607

:

Pour and pour and pour into them

and it changes with each season.

608

:

It looks a little different,

but but the Lord entrusted us

609

:

with them to pour into them.

610

:

And and we should be taking every

advantage and not be discouraged by the

611

:

number of talks that we need to have,

but be encouraged because they're placed

612

:

in our care with purpose and reason.

613

:

And And these talks will,

they're never in vain.

614

:

So so that's an encouraging word

as you look through the different

615

:

seasons and what it may look like.

616

:

Steph: We're going to have

these daily, constant sources

617

:

of material to talk about, right?

618

:

And so keeping that close relationship

with your kids, making sure that

619

:

you really have their heart.

620

:

It's not about demanding

a certain behavior.

621

:

It's about really...

622

:

Pointing their heart towards the

Lord and that they know that you're

623

:

for them, that you are trying to set

them up for success in this world and

624

:

that you want them to run in the path

of the Lord's commandments and, and

625

:

that that brings you such delight.

626

:

So rejoicing with them in the successes

and being gracious with them when

627

:

they do struggle so that they're not

afraid to tell you when they struggle.

628

:

So I think keeping that open communication

is So key and entrusted and one of the

629

:

key principles, and obviously that's

so the heart of the Lord, right?

630

:

he wants us to run to him and be

quick to repent, not to run and hide.

631

:

And so we can model, his gracious,

forgiving heart to our children

632

:

when they fall short and, and

share with them, you know, maybe

633

:

a time that we also fell short.

634

:

Betsy: Just a couple of principles

to remember sort of as overarching

635

:

thoughts when we're working and

thinking about guiding we can't

636

:

guard our children's hearts from

every evil thing we can't isolate and

637

:

protect them from seeing, hearing.

638

:

Even sometimes doing, getting

caught up in certain things.

639

:

But what we have to remember is

that Our hearts are inclined.

640

:

We're not just talking about controlling

outward behavior in our children.

641

:

We're talking about winning their hearts

for the Lord that they themselves Would

642

:

want to live by the, for the Lord by

their own convictions and not mom dad's.

643

:

There comes a time in life when they

own their own faith, when they're not

644

:

taking mom and dad's Faith for granted,

but when we think, well, we can just

645

:

isolate our kids and nothing's going

to happen because I'm going to really,

646

:

really protect them from the world,

that isolation is not, is really not

647

:

the answer because you can be isolated.

648

:

As most major criminals, You

hear their background story

649

:

and they isolated themselves.

650

:

It's because have!

651

:

evil intents in our own hearts, don't we?

652

:

So, I think really well said today

that we take what happens, like looking

653

:

at the store instead of the light.

654

:

We say yes.

655

:

This happened here, but now what can I do?

656

:

I can confess it and I have a way back.

657

:

The gospel is so gracious to say

when you slip, when you fall, this

658

:

is How you have a remedy that God

will you can be restored to the Lord

659

:

and that thing can be gone forever.

660

:

So I think that's a really

important thing to teach our kids.

661

:

When they do fall, there's a way back.

662

:

And also, we have remember

that we can't protect them from

663

:

everything or isolate them.

664

:

I Think our weapons are, Our Ephesians

6, the armor of God, and we talked about

665

:

those things already, a sure foundation

of scripture, the word, good friends, good

666

:

parents, the Holy Spirit to guide us, our

instincts, even the word of God in prayer

667

:

are really direct hits against the enemy.

668

:

Another one is we need to be out

in the world, sharing our faith.

669

:

But we don't need to be overcome by it,

overwhelmed by it, overtaken by it, so

670

:

that it unduly influences us towards

evil, so that it pulls us that opposite

671

:

way that we want to be going, but that

we bring God's perspective to people.

672

:

I know my daughter used to say

when she was in college, she would

673

:

hear somebody talk about something

and she'd say, you really need to

674

:

hear God's perspective about this.

675

:

And really she's saying is, I can counter

that thinking with something Biblical and

676

:

I would really love to share it with you.

677

:

And another one is we aren't

slaves to our instincts.

678

:

In the Lord, we do not have

to follow the instincts.

679

:

We are free.

680

:

And that freedom is great.

681

:

And so often we can get so bogged down

thinking, Oh, the world is horrible.

682

:

We are free in the Lord.

683

:

And it's A wonderful thing.

684

:

It's a wonderful thing.

685

:

And, and, but it can be a challenging

thing to prepare children to live in

686

:

that world and not be swallowed up by it.

687

:

But I believe that the

Lord is with us in it.

688

:

It's, it's what, what Jen said.

689

:

We have a dual partnership in this.

690

:

We're watchmen, but the

Lord is with us in this.

691

:

And it goes along with our very

first verse, Psalm 127 from

692

:

Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

693

:

Yes, it definitely does.

694

:

Unless the Lord builds the house.

695

:

They labor in vain who built it.

696

:

Unless the Lord guards, the city,

the Watchman keeps awake in Maine.

697

:

So I just wanted to say that for

anyone who hasn't taken the class.

698

:

It is so encouraging to know

that we are doing this with the

699

:

Lord and that he is the Watchman.

700

:

And we just would like to say that

these are some overarching principles

701

:

or things that the Lord has put on

our hearts through the years, but

702

:

this is not a comprehensive episode.

703

:

We will definitely be coming back

to specific strategies to tackle.

704

:

These increasingly complicated

issues in our society.

705

:

If you've been blessed by this podcast,

would you consider writing a review?

706

:

And leaving your comments.

707

:

We would love to spread the word to more

moms that are looking for biblical wisdom.

708

:

And the more reviews that we have, the

more this podcast will get recommended.

709

:

So we really appreciate your help in that.

710

:

Also if you have questions that

you would like answered you can

711

:

reach out to us at 1, 2, 4, 0.

712

:

Two zero.

713

:

Again, that's 1, 2, 4 0 2 0 2.

714

:

4 2, 4, 6.

715

:

Or you can head to

interested ministries.com.

716

:

And fill out a contact form.

717

:

Either way.

718

:

. We would love to hear from you

719

:

We know you're busy, Mama, so

we are truly grateful you joined

720

:

us for this episode of Again.

721

:

If you're looking for more information

about building your home on the

722

:

foundation of Jesus Christ, head to www.

723

:

EntrustedMinistries.

724

:

com to learn more about our study for

moms, Entrusted with a Child's Heart.

725

:

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

726

:

world, and we want it for you, too.

727

:

Before you go, I want to pray

this benediction over you

728

:

from 2 Thessalonians 1, 11 12.

729

:

We're rooting for you.

730

:

To this end, we always pray for you,

that our God may make you worthy of His

731

:

calling, and may fulfill every resolve

for good, and every work of faith by

732

:

His power, so that the name of our Lord

Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in

733

:

Him, according to the grace of our God.

734

:

And the Lord Jesus Christ.

735

:

Amen.

736

:

Until we meet again.

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