In this lively podcast, Tessa Lynne Alburn welcomes Beth Harkins, author and women's circle leader, to discuss the journey of embracing one's soul and feminine power. Beth shares her experiences traveling the world and witnessing the transformative power of women's stories. They delve into the challenges women face, such as self-criticism and the pressure to please others, and highlight the importance of self-care and self-compassion. Through humor and heartfelt conversation, be inspired to embrace your authenticity and reclaim your inner wisdom.

Tessa’s Free Gifts: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and spice up your life with her Reignition Roadmap

Episode Highlights!

• Beth shares her soulful living philosophy; emphasizing the importance of authenticity, self-awareness, and connection to others

• Finding beauty in imperfection and value in embracing flaws as part of the human experience
• Creating beyond what we see - tuning inward for greater possibilities in this world and using our feminine power to create

• Keeping the soul journey lighthearted, fun and playful to enjoy life

• A reminder of fiercely holding that which must be changed, allowing it to be destroyed so you can bring forth something else  

About Beth Harkins

Beth is an entertaining, inspiring speaker, storyteller and world traveler who at age 76 has published a debut, *award-winning* autobiographical novel, The Possibility of Everywhere: Casablanca to Oklahoma City, Kathmandu to Timbuktu.  Soon after the release of her novel, Beth launched a book tour with stops across Europe and the USA. She will also be touring India in the coming months.

Through her travels to 66 countries, Beth discovered the power of women’s stories—and she understands that how we tell our stories to ourselves limits or expands our life possibilities. Beth holds a bachelor’s degree in education and a master’s degree in humanistic psychology and she’s also a designer for growth mindset women age, 55 plus. 

Receive Beth’s Free Gift 

Connect with Beth on her website, and receive her Free Possibility of Everywhere Newsletter

Beth’s Website & Award-Winning Book

BethHarkins.com

Beth's Book: The Possibility of Everywhere

"A must-read for every traveler or for anyone who one day dreams of

traveling. If you're a seasoned traveler, you'll find that this book will evoke

memories and rekindle a sense of wanderlust."

-- Literary Titan, Gold Award Winner

* About the Host * 

Tessa Lynne Alburn is a soul connection business coach, author, podcast host and explorer. Tessa believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

Her mission is to help women entrepreneurs bring their ideas and authentic feminine voices into the world, so they make a real difference and receive compensation that reflects their brilliance!

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/ 

Check Us Out on: 

Facebook 

Linked In 

Thank You for Listening!

Thank you kindly for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and feel others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons found on this page.

We love hearing from our listeners. If there’s something you want us to cover, we’d love to hear your ideas! Send them to us here:  https://www.sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/contact

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to any of your favorite podcast apps. Otherwise, visit us on the https://sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/ at any time for all episodes.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts Review

https://apple.co/4bwsAC8

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Spotify Listeners

And if you’re a Spotify fan, then Spotify now has a star-rating feature! https://open.spotify.com/show/1aeExmacYRGfKmjCOw6zxD

May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Hello there.

Wonderful. It's so wonderful to be here with you and to share some time. Yes. With you and with your listeners.

Fantastic. As you can tell, we have a guest. Her name is Beth Harkins. She's an inspiring speaker and author of the Possibility of Everywhere, Casablanca to Oklahoma City, Katmandu to Timbuktu. And she is a world traveling women's circle leader. Beth has explored over 66 countries revealing the transformative power of women's stories in manifesting our deepest desires. With a bachelor's degree in education and a master's in psychology she is also a trained feminine power transformational leader, helping to foster a world of possibility for women everywhere. Then here she is again, from Dallas, Texas. Beth.

Hello, Tessa. Yes, I'm here.

You certainly are. Welcome

To say

Yes to your soul.

What a wonderful podcast title.

Thank you so much. It was, you know, when I first, um, knew that that was the name of the podcast, I, it scared me a little bit, right? Like, I was like, oh my gosh, how am I gonna like, talk about matters of the soul? Like, who am I to do that? Right? And so it's been a journey of just being in the lean-in to that and listening to spirit and, and moving forward, and then getting to meet people like yourself, one amazing women who've done things that many others just dream about or, you know, maybe have a, an inkling of, oh, wouldn't that be fun here and there. But I know that you've got, you've got some beautiful pieces here today for our listeners, um, around women connecting and things along that nature. Mm-Hmm. . So, I'd love to just hand things over to you right now, Beth, and so you can start some of your storytelling.

Oh, wow. Well, that's, that's a wonderful opportunity. Well, first let me say that say yes to your soul, touches me, deeply, touches my soul. And I congratulate you for having the courage to say that you're going to deal with matters of the soul. And that follows my own life journey. I think always seeking a soulful path and seeking the path that leads to the feminine soul, to our, our bringing forward, our deepest inner longings and desires. And a lot of that had to do with what led me to, to write my book. And by the way, it only took me two decades to get it finished, , because you have to finally come to the moment that you say, you know what? It's good enough, let it go. And that is a, can be a challenge for us as women.

Hmm.

And to let our possibilities come forward. We have to let go of perfectionism and self-doubt.

Boy, do we ever, that's huge for so many of us.

Yes. And so I enjoy sharing a story that really speaks to my why. And, um, it takes us, takes me back to about 1998. It's a story that is told my book is actually an autobiographical novel. I say, it was told to tell the truth of my life. There are name changes and some details, but the stories are true. And the heroine's journey that is told is true. So, uh, if you and your audience would like to join me, I'm going to invite you to come along on a magic carpet ride.

And we are going to Kenya to the eastern border of Kenya and Uganda. And it can imagine as our magic carpet is setting down there, that it's a hot steamy day. And this is a remote farming village in a rural area of Kenya where, uh, we will be prepared to meet a group of women. They're gathered under the branches of a wild mango tree surrounded by mud huts with thatched roofs, and with milit plants growing. Uh, these are women farmers who are, who eke out a living. And today, uh, they have gathered in the space that had long been reserved for men. We know about places like that, right? .

Yes. And

That this particular shade that was rare in this village, the women had long been told that there were snakes there. And so it wasn't safe for them to gather. But these women had gathered snake sticks. And so they gathered with no fear, uh, wrapped in their brightly colored conga cloth. They were a part of the Wasi Wasi Women's Group. And we gathered a group visiting to see the grassroots development programs that these women had created. And we discovered that things were changing, and that now, as the women had developed some new skills and were bringing small sums of money into the community, they gathered after having negotiated for this space with the, the men in the community, and one by one they would rise to say their names. They spoke the teso language. And so I watched and listened as the, as one by one.

The women announced their names, beginning with the first woman who said, uh, that she's the president of Wasi Wasi Women's Group, meaning the group name meant they labor by the sweat of their brows to bring forth crops, to bring forth their children and to bring forward a better life in the community. And as the women went around, one by one stood the last woman in the group, I could watch her draw a few deep breaths, and I wondered if she would be able to speak. And the women seemed in no hurry. They waited in full support. And I still remember what it felt like when this woman stood very erect, as if the power of this circle of women had lifted her up. And I heard her say, Cecilia Aribo member Wasi Wasi. And it was like sitting there, I remember feeling as if there were an African drumbeat that was echoing out across the, our planet that was igniting an awakening, long silenced women's voices.

And, you know, so I Tessa that's when I knew that I wanted to be a women's story igniter. And that I wanted to bring forward my own stories, my own struggle to feel at ease speaking, to feel at ease, sharing stories, and to feel at ease with my deep essence, my soul, my soul power, my feminine power. And so that's my book was the, that heroine's journey to, to bring that power forward to, to, I call it a sacred power, the sacred feminine power. And to join it with masculine power that allows us, you know, that we've stepped out into the world and we've used a lot of our masculine powers in order to conform to the masculine world. And now we have to go back and really see what we've left behind, what we've

Failed

To understand our deep wisdom and knowing, and our deep connection, our relational capacities. So that's what I'm about. Well, and in, uh, women's groups, women's retreats, as I go out and speak about my book, it's really about igniting the power, our soul power, our feminine power.

So you're saying it's about reuniting each woman's soul power to other women's soul power.

Well, that's a beautiful way of saying it. Exactly. Because we are more together than we are alone. And I've learned that we can't become ourselves by ourselves. And this is what we do Well, this is what women have known how to do through all of time that we know how to connect and relate.

It's so true. And I love that we become so much stronger together. But, but what, what happened to us and what do you feel, I mean, in Mm-Hmm.

,

You know, briefly, of course . Yeah. There's like millennia of stories. Right? Right. Like, what happened? And if you can sort of take us into your perspective on what you feel had been lost or has been lost that we are now recovering.

Okay. If I speak to it in a personal way, you know, I would say in my, I was, I'm a part of the leading edge of the baby boomer generation. I launched my book at age 76, so I believe I can look back at those, uh, those over those years that, uh, women were rising and we are rising. And we looked at outside of ourselves often and thought that there were blocks that we, you know, it was labeled the, the glass ceiling in our professional lives. We looked at a lot of things outside of ourselves that were holding us back. But for me, and I think for it's research shows, and we've learned that there are certain patterns that are holding women back. And I say it's how we tell our stories to ourselves. This is our, our biggest problem. That we are blocked by, uh, by telling ourselves that we're not enough or that we're too much, or that it's, that we can't, rather than that, that we have not yet. And so we, um, unconsciously and we often turn to self-judgment, self blame, self-criticism. And I think it's a pattern that has been, uh, you know, a part of the culture for eons. It's, it's something that we don't need to blame ourselves for. We just need to bring it into awareness and shift it to disrupt old stories of limitation and these invisible barriers that we hold inside ourselves.

Hmm. You, as you were speaking about self blame and, you know, this patterns of self-criticism, it, I had some faces sort of leap across the, um, movie of my mind, you know, some of the people that I've worked with, and certainly I would've been one of them, you know, growing up and cri just feeling very, very criticized, but then internalizing that. Yes. And, and it's just remarkable to me, the more I work with women, the more I study women's study, uh, history, and it, whether it's through archeology or cultural to traditions or neuroscience Mm-Hmm. , it's just shocking to see how insidious the self-criticism became so, you know, right. Like, we didn't even know it. It was like we're wearing this cloak of something that we didn't even know we had on

Uhhuh. I love that way of saying it.

Yes. And it's, you know, I think, oh, you know, I've, I've done a lot of releasing, I've done a lot of work around that. And still it's like, wow, I really am seeing so many differences in how men perceive themselves so very differently than we perceive ourselves within the context of our societies.

You know, I know that there is a great deal of research that shows that women are much more likely to move into shame and doubt than men. And these are stereotypical things. I, and I don't really like dealing with stereotypes. I, I prefer, you know, that we don't get caught up in gender distinction so much. But there is certainly plenty of research that shows, and then that can be crippling to even when outwardly we can appear quite successful, that we've accomplished a lot of things that, that we know a lot of things. But I mean, I can watch how a simple tech thing can send me into thinking if I do not stop and bring awareness to myself, it will immediately, uh, show me, will immediately I will begin unconsciously telling myself that, that I don't know how to do anything. And, you know, and yet I can say the things that I have mastered as someone that could graduate with a master's degree before we were even using computers, .

And I think of all the things I've figured out and, and, and am able to do, and that I also have learned how I can be resourced, and I'm beginning to shift thinking that I absolutely have to know everything myself, that I can't appear not to know an answer. I can't appear to ask a question. So many of these things, they're just a matter of, of constant bringing greater awareness and shifting. And then it can get to be funny when, when I catch myself with that type of thing. Or I notice, um, working with other women how they catch themselves.

Okay. So I wanna, I want to hear something that you remember not, not long ago that was

Yeah.

Where caught yourself and it was funny for you.

Okay. Alright. Well, this is a story that is just really, this is a true story, but it's too stereotypical in a way. So let's just see the humor between us as we're listening and, uh, not be in judgment of men or women, really, but, but, you know, have you ever arrived to a, a meeting a bit late and, and you can observe, I could see myself doing it, or you observe women, you know, they'll come in five minutes late rushing, and oh my gosh, I had to take the kids. And then there's the stoplight, and this happened, and that happened, and it takes five minutes to explain all the reasons why we're so sorry. You know? And then, then, uh, 20 minutes later, a male walks into the room and sees everyone gathered, and he announces to the group, oh, thank you for waiting, you know, .

So it's, it's kind of like these assumptions that, that, that, um, uh, or, or, or these patterns that allow, um, speaking from the side of women to need to always be, feel that we have to apologize for our presence or our lack of presence or for, for these things that we do instead of being comfortable, that we can certainly admit when we make a mistake. And we can certainly be sensitive to other people's needs, but we don't have to go into, um, this, the strong self-judgment that holds us back from, as your podcast is about fulfilling our dreams.

Totally. I so get that. And like, there's is this patterning that shows up with so many women around needing to defend themselves. Mm-hmm. , right? Like that, like, if they don't defend themselves, they won't be good enough. If they don't say all those things, they'll be just obliterated or rejected or exiled, have some kind of scarlet letter on them. It's, and that's the emotional sense that so many women have, right? That's underneath that litany of words,

Uhhuh . Well, let's normalize it some in the, in realizing women have been burned at the stake, you know, there have been reasons for women to, to, to either silence ourselves or be cautious as the, I mean, plenty of reasons. And so this is, this is a, um, it's a part of a heritage. Now, there's also the pattern that we absolutely don't want to go into victim stance, you know, acting as if we're victims of outside circumstances or of history, or of, or of any other, um, something that we can use as an excuse because that there is nothing that is more crippling than for us to step into feeling that, that we are the v the, that we are a victim.

Well, absolutely, that puts us in a place of complete disempowerment.

Exactly. But we can also normalize that, that these are, that they can be shared among and at time. The other thing that can happen is that, that, um, you know, I've had the experience that, uh, women will say, oh, I never feel that way. I don't think that about myself. But there's also the a time when we can be so shut off and so disconnected from what is going on. Um, you know, I absolutely love, even though there are many different interpretations of what went on in the Barbie movie, but I absolutely love the scene in the dance scene and that whole, um, stereotypical Barbie land where really it, to me, it was showing the, uh, you can live in a perfect world, but you're disconnected from the, the capacity to feel deep deeply, which means feeling not only joy and pleasure, but also struggle and pain. And

Yes,

We can easily be in that type of denial and need to jump into the, to another world, to a real world where we do open ourselves up to the possibility of feeling pain and hurt and disappointment and sadness, but also that wonderful deep, I'll call it, uh, soulful, uh, joy, happiness, uh, if we can, and the denying that there are times that, um, we can feel less than, and that, or we can feel too much, you know, that we're too much, uh, that we're coming on too strong, or that we're too much, we're too different from others. All of these kinds of things. They're part of what I have enjoyed in the, in the, uh, leadership coaching and facilitation work that I have done, uh, with Dr. Claire Zammit that, uh, to learn of more of these patterns and of ways of, uh, setting an intention to bring forward something different in a particular area of our lives. Hmm. And I love, and I love, uh, looking at and listening to stories such as some of those in my book that came from many different circumstances around the world where I have, where I have observed some of these patterns, and especially observing circumstances in which, uh, I, myself and others that I encountered arising from these old, uh, fixed mindsets and limited beliefs and patterns.

I love that. I, I have so many things I wanna talk to you about. Oh my goodness. Where do I start?

I could talk to you all day.

Yes. Well, I, okay. So one thing I I wanna look at is this piece around normalizing

Mm-Hmm. .

And if you were gonna give some guidance or a suggestion to the listeners here today around normalizing what's really going on for them, or normalizing the self-talk, what would you, what would you say to them? What would you want them to know?

You know, I think my deepest knowing something that I will share, I'm not one to give advice or suggestions. We, we have plenty of that out there. Uh, but I think when I can turn in to listening to my own inner knowing, my own wisdom, and that, um, whisper voice that's there,

Mm-Hmm. ,

I refer to it, uh, as an inner GPS an inner guidance system. And by slowing down, taking a pause, breathing, you know, there's so much right now in this world. We are going through times of tremendous change and disruption worldwide, and we have grief over so many things, you know, or whether it's our, uh, our echo grief or our things about wars and things about, um, you name it. And then the very personal things that we can experience and pain and deep desires that we're frustrated when we can't see them come about. Um, and so I think that it is this tuning in to our deep, deep inner knowing. I mean, I, it's our sacred feminine power. That's what it is. And it, uh, the, you know, I believe that the, there is no greater force on earth than the, than the power to create that is feminine. And we create much more than babies. You know, we can create possibilities in our life. We can create holding a sense that, uh, more than what we're experiencing in our world today, more than the limitations that we may see in our own lives, that more is possible. And so that's it. That I think it's tuning inward and trusting our deepest knowing.

Hmm. Beautiful. So even when we're in the, like, maybe we're having feelings of chaos, or we just had a momentary outburst Mm-Hmm. . And we're like, oh, wait a second. Yeah, that's all happening.

Yeah. But

Now let me tune in to the deeper me, the deeper wisdom, the deeper knowing.

Uhhuh ,

It's also present.

I, I like that. And with it to, you know, uh, the time in which I, uh, this is another story I haven't thought about in a long time. It's in the book, uh, being in, in Nepal. I was in Nepal, trekking in the lower, uh, low. I mean, I, I was born in the flatland, so this was not low, but it was in the, it was below the snow line in, in Nepal,

. Yeah. Like at 11,000 feet or something, or, yeah,

Uhhuh . And again, to gather, to meet some women's groups. But I had never heard of, at that time, back in the nineties of the goddess Kali, the Hindu goddess colleague. And when I discovered that the, the fierceness of, you know, you'd see images and she had these, um, she was, her tongue was hanging out, blood from it, and she had these skulls around her neck, and I thought, what in what in the world? I mean, what is this? And that this was an image of divinity. You know, I couldn't, I didn't get it until I realized that it was about, uh, fiercely holding that which must be, uh, transformed, you know, that which must be changed, destroyed to bring forth something else. And you can think of it in the exterior world, but also those, uh, within ourselves, those things that are denying our, our divinity that we came into the world with our essence, whatever words you want to use with it, our, our deep, uh, our deep spark of the divine.

And I realize that that can be both fierce and tender. That's what the Goddess Kali represented to me, both fierce and tender. And so in those moments when I feel very tender, you know, either tender towards someone that I want to show compassion and love for, or tender, especially towards myself, um, that I either got so upset about something that was upset with myself, um, and get back to claiming that I have this spark of the divine within me. That was a, an enlightening moment over time. That, and that's a reminder that I have to give to myself. But I think at first, for some reason, I first became aware of that in the, in the, in the mountains of Nepal. Isn't that odd ? But that's where I, I felt it, and I felt it both, as I said, both with, with a, a fierce and a tender compassion that I was directing towards myself to start with.

But I can just come back and say, you know what? I'm of value. I, there's no need to, to, to, uh, doubt that, that I am a valuable person and I don't have to be perfect. I can be, I can own my brilliance as well as my imperfection. You know, I can be both at the same time. That's a paradox. I'm learning. The whole paradox is important. And, you know, just learn to play and have fun with it. I'm really big. I like to, to see the humor in life. And so if I'm going to do that, I have to see a lot of funny things about me, , you know, I'm a odd combination of lots of different things. And on any given day, you know, I can, uh, I can make plenty of messes. And then I can also find a way to figure out a lot of stuff that I never thought that I could figure out. Uh, my husband died this coming up on eight years ago, and I, I'll tell you one thing that I had to figure out, uh, after 45 years living with him, during most of those years, he did the cooking and I had to figure out how to cook, go figure that,

Oh my goodness.

You know, and find things in the grocery store that I hadn't done in a long time. And I had to have some humility around that because it wasn't fun. I think my point is that I don't wanna take myself too seriously, and I don't want any of us in your audience to get too heavy when we start talking about soul things, into thinking that that isn't also part of, um, lightheartedness and, and fun and play and enjoying life.

Yes, indeed. Well, okay. So, um, we were just talking, my, my entire internet just got like, whatever, had a hiccup. Um, but we were talking about play and bringing that in and, and I'm so on board with that. Like, I think a big part of soulfulness, it is that playfulness, it is the innocence. It's the willingness to, you know, run around or stand under the moon and howl at a, on a full moon night. You know, bringing play in, even as adults, it's a very soulful thing to do.

Absolutely.

So I'm curious, Beth, I, along the, um, spirit of play and fun, I wanna know, like, what was one of the worst things that you cooked for yourself?

Oh,

.

Well, all right. It, I will tell you that the first Christmas, uh, after Gary died, I was convinced that, you know, I wanted to continue and have my family and I invited somebody over. We're a small family, my daughter, uh, my grandson and my son-in-Law. And another person was invited. And the table, I'm very good at decorating tables and flowers and all of that. And I would do that part, the fun part, and not do the cooking. So I had, but I had prepared the meal, and we had finished eating, and I put the, um, I put the, the Turkey on a in the Pyrex platter, and I set it on the oven, not realizing the stove top, not realizing it was on. And we were in the other room, and all of a sudden there was this explosion that you cannot imagine. Now, there was nothing funny about that because it was glass going everywhere. However, no one was in the kitchen, so no one was hurt. The worst outcome was that what was left of the Turkey was not to be eaten, because it was No,

It would be very dangerous. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it was,

Oh goodness. So Tom Turkey was just like, splattered everywhere, little

Bits,

Shards

And, you know, so it was horrible. But it was also like, you know, there was nothing to do, but just absolutely laugh that there was no harm done. I had tried my best, and then here was this explosion, and I could either burst into tears or I could burst into laughter, and it just felt more like laughter at that moment, the ridiculousness of the whole thing. And so, I don't know why I shared that story, but it popped into mind. It's,

It's very funny. And, you know, I, I mean, we put so much intensity and we,

Yeah.

Holidays and these dinners or whatever, we're trying to impress people or make sure everybody's taken care of. You know, be the hostess with the most-ess

Absolutely. . And, and that's it. Just catching, trying to please that. That's the other piece that we really need to laugh about. We just need to get over this. We don't have to please the world. We are here and we wanna be of service and we want to do for others, but we have got to start first and foremost with, uh, making sure we find some pleasure for ourselves and self-care. And in that moment, that's exactly what I needed to do.

Mm-Hmm.

Was, and fortunately there were others around me to, to do that, but I needed to, uh, give some self-care and just let it all be what it was going to be. It was all. Okay.

I love it. Um, and it sounds great. It sounds like, you know, you've embraced yourself in a way that others can also be with you and connect with you and support you. And when we know what it is we need, it's much easier to get that back from other people.

Exactly.

Well this is, this is such a pleasure to have you here today on the show. I wanna make sure that everybody knows how they can get in touch with you if they wanna reach out and know more about your travel. Uh, stay on top of, uh, what's happening in your world.

Well, thank you. Uh, my website is my name Beth, BETH, Harkins, H-A-R-K-I-N s.com. You can go there to sign up for the newsletter, watch for, watch for new comings, new courses, as well as for after the first of the year, a women's retreat that I am particularly interested in focusing on those women who are in the second half of life, especially now I'm focusing on women in their sixties and seventies and what I call our sage stage.

So yes, indeed. You

Can watch the website for more about that.

Okay, fantastic. So they can get your newsletter and, uh, find out what is happening in your world and what new countries or, uh, that you'll be traveling to or taking people to as well.

Right. Get a copy of my book, the Possibility of Everywhere. We'll show you, it can direct you to Amazon or to other

Books. Absolutely. And we'll put, we'll put that link to Amazon in the show notes as well, so people can get it there if they go there first.

Thank you, Tessa, thank you so much for your time.

You're very welcome.

I'm so glad you were here to share some of your sage wisdom with us today, Beth. And, um, I just really appreciate your perspectives and you know, everything that you have witnessed in the world and the way that you've sort of brought it to us in your, in your own storytelling way. And I, you know, it's like I felt like I was there with you under the mango tree and

Good.

I appreciate that. Thank you so much. That's it for today, ladies. Bye-Bye for now, and light and blessings to you.