Shownotes
Today we have a very special guest, Dr. David Bernstein a renowned retired physician and gerontologist.
In this episode, we dive into the secrets of living a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Dr. Bernstein, shares invaluable insights and tips on how to achieve vitality in your golden years. From the importance of having a purpose in life, to the impact of DNA, attitude, and gratitude, we cover it all.
We also discuss the significance of companionship, the dangers of isolation, and how to navigate through life's challenges with grace and resilience.
So, grab your cup of coffee, sit back, and get ready to gain some life-changing knowledge on how to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Episode Takeaways:
- The 5 S's: Sweat, Sweet, Sex, Stress, and Sleep - Dr. Bernstein highlights the importance of these five factors in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Find out how to optimize each of these areas for a vibrant and fulfilling life.
- Attitude is Everything - Discover the power of positive thinking, expressing gratitude, and cultivating kindness. Dr. Bernstein explains how having the right mindset can influence our health, happiness, and overall well-being.
- Taking Control of Your Health - While genetics do play a role, Dr. Bernstein emphasizes that the majority of our health and longevity is within our control. Learn how to make proactive choices, develop healthy habits, and prevent or manage health conditions.
Email Dr. Bernstein at david@PowerOf5Life.com
Visit his website at PowerOf5Life.com
Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify
Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and Instagram
Email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz
Don't forget to download the Vitality Assessment from www.heyboomer.biz
And plan your next travel adventure with roadscholar.org/heyboomer
–
Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the
sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what’s next.”
Find out more about Wendy’s 6-week “What’s Next Transition” Coaching workshop
Mentioned in this episode:
Annie's Kit Clubs
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EZ Melts vitamins
try.ezmelts.com/heyboomer to get 3 months free of vitamin D3 with your first order.
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Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Transcripts
Well, hello and welcome to the hey Boomer Show. The
Speaker:show for those of us who believe that we are never too old
Speaker:to set another goal or dream a new dream. My name
Speaker:is Wendy Green and I am your host for hey
Speaker:Boomer, and it's a good
Speaker:we have a doctor on the show today. I
Speaker:had a little accident this past Thursday.
Speaker:I caught my finger in a car door and
Speaker:not only did I cut it badly, I also broke
Speaker:it. And the pain was more than I
Speaker:can describe. I was going into
Speaker:costco at the time and ended up on the floor
Speaker:in costco because of the pain. And,
Speaker:yeah, it's not something that I would recommend. And
Speaker:so now I am learning to do things one handed.
Speaker:And I also am grateful for my friends who have
Speaker:come by and helped, particularly
Speaker:Doris, who brought me coffee and scones and kept me company
Speaker:for a little while so that I could not think about the
Speaker:pain. But
Speaker:things change in a second, right? We
Speaker:get distracted, we take our mind off what we're doing,
Speaker:and that's when an accident happens. And yes, it's called an
Speaker:accident. But as we age,
Speaker:we don't process quite as fast. And so
Speaker:it's more likely that we're going to have accidents. And we're going to
Speaker:talk to Dr. David Bernstein about that, as well
Speaker:as many other things. He has written several books
Speaker:that we'll talk about and get his perspectives on how
Speaker:to live a long and healthy and
Speaker:fulfilling life. But before we
Speaker:get to Dr. Bernstein, I always like to talk
Speaker:to you about Rhodes Scholar. You know, Rhodes Scholar is my
Speaker:favorite way to travel. And Rhodes
Speaker:Scholar has trips to over
Speaker:well, to over 100 countries around the world and to all 50
Speaker:states in the United States. It is the not
Speaker:for profit leader in educational travel for boomers and
Speaker:beyond and for grandparents and grandchildren. So
Speaker:go ahead if you are thinking about travel and check out
Speaker:their website. Go to
Speaker:roadroadscholar.org
Speaker:hayboomer and please use the slash hey Boomer because it
Speaker:lets them know that you heard about Road Scholar
Speaker:travel from the hey Boomer Show.
Speaker:And while you're here, I also want to encourage you to
Speaker:download the Life Vitality Assessment from
Speaker:the hey Boomer website, heyboomer Biz.
Speaker:It will give you some insight into how vital
Speaker:you are feeling at this stage of your life. Maybe
Speaker:you're feeling fully vitalized, like you're ready to take on
Speaker:anything. Maybe you have sustained energy that you're getting
Speaker:from some of the work and activities that you're involved in.
Speaker:Or maybe your cup is kind of half empty and
Speaker:there's things that you want to do, but you just can't seem to get up
Speaker:and do them. Or maybe it's time to take
Speaker:stock and think about what it is that you
Speaker:need to change or to add to get back that
Speaker:feeling of vitality that is so important to us as we
Speaker:age. So download the vitality assessment.
Speaker:It's on the homepage of heyboomer, Biz. And if you'd like to
Speaker:talk further about it, you can schedule some time with me
Speaker:on my Calendly link. I will put that in the show notes
Speaker:and let's talk. So with
Speaker:that, let me bring on Dr.
Speaker:Bernstein. Hi, David. Hi, Wendy.
Speaker:Thanks for inviting me. It's wonderful to see you today, all
Speaker:intact and ready to go, fingers and
Speaker:all. Glad to have you here. Let me give them a brief
Speaker:overview, a short bio about you.
Speaker:So, Dr. Bernstein is an award winning physician
Speaker:and author who is board certified in
Speaker:both internal medicine and geriatrics.
Speaker:He retired about three years ago from his practice in Clearwater,
Speaker:Florida. But as we talk about here on hey Boomer,
Speaker:retirement doesn't mean that he stopped. So his
Speaker:40 years of experience have provided him with opportunities to
Speaker:observe and empathize with thousands of adults as they
Speaker:age. He's integrated his experience
Speaker:with them and in his practice and
Speaker:written several books. One book that
Speaker:I read is called I've Got Some Good News and Bad News.
Speaker:You're Old. These are tales of a
Speaker:geriatrician. What to expect in
Speaker:your beyond.
Speaker:And then he has written something called The Power of Five.
Speaker:The ultimate formula for longevity and remaining
Speaker:youthful. And there's also a journal that goes along with that.
Speaker:Dr. Bernstein is a graduate of Albany Medical
Speaker:College, an associate clinical professor of the
Speaker:Department of Medicine at the University of South Florida College of
Speaker:Medicine, and he is our guest. So glad to have
Speaker:you today. So let's start
Speaker:by talking about accidents and safety. When I
Speaker:did the technology check with you, you talked to
Speaker:me about the way we process things differently
Speaker:as we age and why
Speaker:accidents are more likely to happen and how to stay
Speaker:safe. Well, I'm glad you asked that question
Speaker:because I think there
Speaker:are some things that we can do to make our lives longer
Speaker:and healthier, and I'm sure we'll get a chance to talk about it. But
Speaker:something that often goes unspoken is the impact
Speaker:of being responsible for our safety. And that
Speaker:means driving safety. It means after
Speaker:65, avoiding ladders, don't go up on the roof. Hire
Speaker:someone to clean your gutters. Because you can change your
Speaker:life in a snap with an accident like that. All
Speaker:the plans that you have to take a road scholar trip and drive with your
Speaker:grandparent grandkids and do some of those fun things really
Speaker:get disrupted if you break your leg, if you break your arm.
Speaker:Especially men who do some of these things,
Speaker:they try to stabilize themselves of putting out their right
Speaker:arm and they break their arm. Which means some of the
Speaker:daily functions that we do, some of the things that, Wendy, you've found out
Speaker:about breaking a finger on your right hand, you can't do as well.
Speaker:You can't bathe and groom. And some of those things get really
Speaker:difficult and they're preventable. And I think the
Speaker:other point that you raise is that we need to take our
Speaker:time to be conscious of what we're doing all the time and being and living
Speaker:in the present. So thinking about I'm going to
Speaker:Costco, I have my list, it's in my pocket. I'm not
Speaker:thinking about who I got to call later. And the next podcast is just
Speaker:being in the moment will often help prevent some of those
Speaker:unfortunate accidents, as you call them.
Speaker:Yeah, and I told you this, I was
Speaker:surprised at how wiped out I was. I mean, it was just
Speaker:a finger and it took me two days of
Speaker:being exhausted and tired and nauseous to get over it. Like,
Speaker:what was that about? Well, there's
Speaker:the pain associated with that and the draining process and the release
Speaker:of adrenaline and cortisol things that
Speaker:are advantageous if you need to fight a saber
Speaker:toothed tiger, but disadvantageous if you have to
Speaker:deal with all. The repercussions of slamming your finger in the
Speaker:door and breaking your finger and Balsing your nail and oh, my
Speaker:goodness, it's this day of the week, and how am I going to get it
Speaker:taken care of? And all of that just drains the energy
Speaker:out of you. So another reason for preventing those
Speaker:kind of events and there's other people who have something
Speaker:similar will spend 6 hours in an emergency room and they'll be
Speaker:among people who might come in with respiratory infections and things that are
Speaker:contagious. So there's all kinds of reasons why being
Speaker:safe and avoiding what you went through
Speaker:is helpful. Yeah. So slow down. Be
Speaker:present with what you're doing. So
Speaker:David, what do you think is one of the
Speaker:biggest health issues that faces us as
Speaker:we age? Well,
Speaker:everything I did in my writing when I would sit down
Speaker:would always be directed at baby boomers, my high school
Speaker:classmates. So this is right in my
Speaker:wheelhouse about things that affect us and what
Speaker:we can do. And we have control over
Speaker:our lifetime and life expectancies and our health span.
Speaker:It's all within the palm of our hand and we just have to recognize
Speaker:and do it. And that's where my power of five S's
Speaker:come in. If I'm addressing your question properly. It's things we have control
Speaker:over. So we have control over what we eat, how much we
Speaker:exercise, how much we sleep, how we address
Speaker:stress and how we connect with people.
Speaker:And they're all things that
Speaker:take intention, they take understanding and they
Speaker:take the fact that it's never too late to start
Speaker:doing these things. I like that. It's never too
Speaker:late. So you have an acronym, aging with
Speaker:Grace. And I think
Speaker:the G that you have in Grace is probably my favorite.
Speaker:So why don't we start by unpacking that acronym and let's start with
Speaker:G. Sure. And I really didn't
Speaker:consider them focus groups, but I was invited to speak in our community
Speaker:many times. And between those events and my
Speaker:patients, I asked them what were the secrets to
Speaker:their longer life and their happiness and their success in life.
Speaker:And people would raise their hands, and I would hear
Speaker:sort of the same things over and over again. And
Speaker:I identified five. And I like the number five, because people like the
Speaker:number five things. Five fingers in your hand,
Speaker:fingers well. Four and a half in your case, but five
Speaker:fingers in your hand. And five family members and five players on my favorite
Speaker:sport, basketball. And one of my professors said,
Speaker:you know, even doctors can only remember five things, so
Speaker:don't give people any more instructions than five. Come back tomorrow and give five more
Speaker:if you want. So that had a major impact
Speaker:on what I put together. And then I
Speaker:said, I want to make an acronym. So I came up with those
Speaker:things. And the first letter of
Speaker:G was Goals. Grace starts with
Speaker:G. So having goals or a purpose in life
Speaker:is one of the things that's just uniformly
Speaker:present in people who had those long, healthy, happy lives. And
Speaker:it doesn't mean that just because you retire
Speaker:that you hang everything up and don't do anything, but you could always
Speaker:set new goals or have a purpose in your lives. And there were
Speaker:people who I evaluated as my patients who just were these great
Speaker:examples. And one of my favorites was a
Speaker:gentleman who managed some real estate in New York City and moved to
Speaker:Florida. And I said, what are you doing? He says, Well,
Speaker:I work as a security guard at the historic Clearwater
Speaker:Hotel. And I said, oh, really? Why do you do that? He says,
Speaker:well, it's enjoyable. I meet friends. I meet
Speaker:people that I work with that are very enjoyable to be
Speaker:with. I have this very beautiful drive to and from the
Speaker:hotel. It's about 20 minutes, and I see palm trees, I see the
Speaker:sunrise or the sunset, and it gives me something to
Speaker:get up and do. In addition, he
Speaker:said, if I had to spend my whole day with Edna,
Speaker:one of us would end up in a grave, and the other one would end
Speaker:up in prison, meaning they'd kill each other.
Speaker:So having a purpose, having something to do
Speaker:was an important part of his life. And he made himself
Speaker:responsible for things at the hotel where he was a security
Speaker:guard. And I remember him telling me, he said he caught some
Speaker:people trying to steal things and to
Speaker:report things that might have been stolen from their room,
Speaker:but they weren't. So he felt that he was making a
Speaker:difference, and that was incredibly important. And he lived
Speaker:well into his ninety s, and he was still alive and kicking
Speaker:when I retired. Yeah, I think that is
Speaker:ultimately an important part of living
Speaker:a fulfilling and healthy life. I think that
Speaker:the other day I was out for my walk and I ran into a neighbor
Speaker:who is 83 and he had a
Speaker:remarkable recovery from cancer. And he said
Speaker:one of his main things that he think
Speaker:kept him going was to feel like every morning he had a reason to get
Speaker:up out of bed. So having that purpose
Speaker:unquestionably and even before that, going through chemotherapy
Speaker:or whatever treatments he had to go through, he had to know that there
Speaker:was life after all of those treatments. And that's
Speaker:something that gets people going, because if people don't have a purpose in
Speaker:life, they give up. Yeah,
Speaker:and we talk about that a lot on the show. So the
Speaker:R is probably my least favorite because it seems
Speaker:like the one that we have less control over. And you talked
Speaker:about control. So how do you explain R
Speaker:for your roots? I explain it in two different
Speaker:ways. One is your DNA and your roots. And
Speaker:there are two things you can do with your roots. By the way,
Speaker:your DNA contributes only 20% to
Speaker:25% of your life expectancy. The
Speaker:other 75% to 80% is up to you. So
Speaker:it's only a small part, but it is an important part. And
Speaker:if you have bad genes and you
Speaker:know it, do something about it. If you know that
Speaker:obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease run in your family,
Speaker:then don't wait until you're 50 and 60 and 70 to do
Speaker:something about it, when all they can do is put in stents and
Speaker:bypasses. But start doing things early. And I
Speaker:did start writing my books when I was in my
Speaker:addressing my high school classmates and baby boomers was
Speaker:appropriate at the time. But it's never too early, it's never
Speaker:too late to start making those changes. The other part of
Speaker:roots, and maybe I'm digressing a bit and maybe it has to do with the
Speaker:leaves on the tree, but it's your family. It's how you
Speaker:interact and how you know what your family tree is all
Speaker:about and that's connections within your family.
Speaker:But truly, it's what you can do to make your health
Speaker:better. And the opposite of having bad
Speaker:genes is when you have good genes. If you have good genes, take
Speaker:care of them. Don't be going to fast food and eating
Speaker:processed foods and not exercising and sitting on the couch and taking
Speaker:advantage of your good genes because they'll let you down.
Speaker:And the other thing about it is that we can always
Speaker:make some changes. And getting back to the
Speaker:safety issue, if you know you have good genes,
Speaker:don't take advantage of them. Don't go doing
Speaker:things that put you at risk, like slamming your finger in the door,
Speaker:like going on the roof and going on ladders. I've seen enough
Speaker:accidents happen in people's homes that have major impact on
Speaker:them by doing foolish things and not thinking of safety.
Speaker:It's interesting that you say that because I think
Speaker:as boomers, our children don't quite
Speaker:accept the fact that we are aging yet. I had a
Speaker:very high bathroom ceiling that needed the light
Speaker:changed, and I didn't want to go on the ladder being here by myself. So
Speaker:I called my son and they thought that was ridiculous, that I should call them
Speaker:to change a light bulb. Yeah, but if I fall, it's going
Speaker:to be a whole lot worse.
Speaker:It's a transition for them to accept us as getting older too, I
Speaker:think. Sure. We're in
Speaker:different generations and there's a lot of things different between
Speaker:our generation and theirs. And the boomer generation is
Speaker:we can do everything generation, and we've always done that and we can get
Speaker:it done. That other generation
Speaker:is I'll call someone, I'll do a fiver,
Speaker:and I'll have a fiver come by and change my lights in my
Speaker:house and then not learn how to do it.
Speaker:And in necessity, they may not know how to do it. Now, this
Speaker:doesn't apply to everybody, but I think you can
Speaker:relate to that. Oh, yeah.
Speaker:I think it goes both ways. Like, we haven't completely accepted the fact
Speaker:that we're vulnerable. Also,
Speaker:I'll say one other thing that I experienced
Speaker:in my life and in my practice is
Speaker:that those people who were my age and a little bit
Speaker:older, meaning they were born a little bit before
Speaker:me, had different experiences in life
Speaker:and had to be creative and had to solve problems.
Speaker:So problem solving for my staff members who were older than
Speaker:me was really great. And I don't think that exists as
Speaker:much today. And my best example
Speaker:was we ordered a new refrigerator, small refrigerator for
Speaker:our sample cabinet in our office. And one
Speaker:of my nurses was changing the way the door open, change the
Speaker:hinge. Now, I didn't even know you could do that, but she got out
Speaker:the directions and changed the way the door opens so that it didn't
Speaker:block the swinging door that we go into the room with.
Speaker:So there's a lot of ingenuity and creativity and problem
Speaker:solving that our generation had that I don't think
Speaker:exists after us. Not as much, for
Speaker:sure. All right, so we
Speaker:did goals and we did roots. So now
Speaker:A is for attitude.
Speaker:And in my mind, I'm kind of relating that
Speaker:to Roots because you talked about it's. Only
Speaker:25% of our health impact and
Speaker:our attitude towards our DNA is
Speaker:going to have a bigger impact, I would imagine.
Speaker:Correct. It does. And
Speaker:attitude gets talked about a lot. And I
Speaker:put three things as part of my attitude. It's attitude
Speaker:of having a good attitude and being positive, having
Speaker:an attitude of gratitude and then having an attitude of
Speaker:kindness. So over the course of time, I've rolled
Speaker:those three things together. But people talk a
Speaker:lot nowadays about gratitude, and it's incredibly important. And some of
Speaker:the physiologic things that happen in our bodies that
Speaker:help us live longer happen when we express
Speaker:gratitude. And my experiences with my
Speaker:patients who express gratitude was quite
Speaker:revealing to me. I had written a chapter in my book and it was going
Speaker:to be my only chapter that was kind of about me. It was about how
Speaker:I diagnosed someone's colon cancer and lung
Speaker:cancer and that it made a difference in their lives.
Speaker:And as I read more and understood it better,
Speaker:my patients having gone through that,
Speaker:having an opportunity to express their gratitude to me,
Speaker:became more important than what the chapter was
Speaker:about. That it was going to be about what I did. So I would watch
Speaker:one of my patients who I saw every quarter come to my office
Speaker:and thank me for finding his prostate cancer. To me, it
Speaker:was no big deal. Prostate cancer is fairly easy to
Speaker:detect. But I saw the expression on
Speaker:his face when he would tell me how grateful he was
Speaker:that he was still alive and he attributed it to me
Speaker:and that he got so much out of that. That was impressive to
Speaker:me. And I didn't understand it until this guy whose name is
Speaker:Jack started doing that. And then there were other people who did the
Speaker:same thing and I reflected back on some of those people from
Speaker:earlier and realized that they got a great deal out of seeing
Speaker:me just for that purpose. The rest of my exam with them was
Speaker:fluff. Them coming in and having that opportunity
Speaker:was important. And then there's this attitude
Speaker:of kindness that I think gets glossed over in our
Speaker:society. But being kind is just something that
Speaker:we're doing something for other people. But we get so much more
Speaker:out of being kind. It's like being generous and it's
Speaker:about being charitable and that people will
Speaker:say, well, give to you, feel good. But
Speaker:that kindness part is when you're kind to other people,
Speaker:you get something back in return that may be well
Speaker:beyond what you've given to other people. And I
Speaker:encourage people who are listening and watching to try that
Speaker:out because I think you'll find that that's true.
Speaker:Yeah, I think I call that the attitude
Speaker:of being of service too, volunteering and
Speaker:those kinds of things. But did you have experience where
Speaker:the opposite happened? Like patients were so angry with you
Speaker:for a diagnosis and how that
Speaker:impacted their ability to recover
Speaker:or to not recover?
Speaker:I'll pat myself on the back a little bit and say that I
Speaker:coached them well enough. I provided them
Speaker:comfort in making a diagnosis and
Speaker:providing the information so that they
Speaker:understood. And I was always the
Speaker:person that talked about reality.
Speaker:So where other of the physicians may have been a little
Speaker:bit more aggressive of their care or dismissive in their care,
Speaker:I gave them the time to talk about those things to
Speaker:prevent that. Were there people that were
Speaker:angry about that? I can't think of any. There were
Speaker:some diagnoses that were
Speaker:challenging for people to understand how that happened.
Speaker:I was so good or I didn't do this, I didn't smoke, but
Speaker:they got a bad diagnosis and those were more difficult.
Speaker:In my book, You're Old, I
Speaker:wrote about one woman who in the
Speaker:course of six months or less came
Speaker:up with four diagnoses and I didn't know which one was going to kill her
Speaker:first. And I had more difficulty
Speaker:with the husband because he was a mean honorary
Speaker:man and I had to play act and rehearse
Speaker:what I was going to say to them. But she took it all
Speaker:in stride pretty well and was very understanding as long
Speaker:as I laid everything out for her. And I think
Speaker:in this world of busy physicians and having to see large number
Speaker:of patients and access to care being difficult,
Speaker:sometimes the diagnosis and the conversation
Speaker:gets glossed over. And I think people should make sure
Speaker:they're with the right person and the right doctor to get that information
Speaker:and ask for help. And even if it's not from the doctor
Speaker:per se, social worker, a counselor who can help
Speaker:them deal with and address some anger issues
Speaker:that may be related to that. Yeah. And I think a
Speaker:lot of people, particularly in the generation before us, were afraid to
Speaker:question their doctors, to ask questions. And it sounds like
Speaker:you were the kind of doctor that was straight with people and
Speaker:if they wanted to ask you questions, you were there to give them answers.
Speaker:I'm so proud of the fact that I was. And I do relate to
Speaker:the fact that people didn't ask many questions
Speaker:and they put physicians way up on some pedestal
Speaker:that they didn't think they were able to. Nowadays we're lowered on the
Speaker:pedestal, but I would still sit down
Speaker:and say, look, you're not asking me enough questions. Let me give you a little
Speaker:bit more information about this. I want you to have some control over the
Speaker:situation because that's what anybody else would
Speaker:want. And you may go and listen to
Speaker:another consultant talk to you about it. Please come back and talk to me
Speaker:because I'm afraid you may get
Speaker:distracted and led down a path that,
Speaker:knowing you, you wouldn't want to be on. Well, and I also
Speaker:think, David, that when we're the
Speaker:patient, many of us are so distracted with all of the
Speaker:information that it's helpful to have somebody else there with us
Speaker:to also hear the information because it can be overwhelming
Speaker:sometimes. You are so right.
Speaker:And I experienced it in two different ways. One was early
Speaker:in my career when I was building my practice, I would meet with
Speaker:my accountant and we would meet quarterly. And I was so
Speaker:grateful for the fact that he had a legal sized piece of paper and he
Speaker:gave me one and a half sheets of written material and instructions
Speaker:because I just wanted to know how am I doing? How am I doing? And
Speaker:I just had my focus on that.
Speaker:Meanwhile, I had to pay this tax in this form
Speaker:and I had to make this deposit and I had to pay this bonus. And
Speaker:whatever those things were, I couldn't capture the information
Speaker:he was telling me because I was so
Speaker:flustered by all that information and
Speaker:kind of the thought of am I doing okay financially? Am I not?
Speaker:And so providing written information and
Speaker:having another person there to hear what someone else said was always
Speaker:really important. And I would encourage people to bring their spouses.
Speaker:And the flip side, if we ever dealt with Alzheimer's
Speaker:disease, I always wanted some backup and someone to hear what
Speaker:I was saying so as not to
Speaker:give any mixed messages and that everybody heard the same
Speaker:thing and that they didn't go talk to this one and that
Speaker:one and have different family members call me. I'd rather have them all
Speaker:in the room at the same time hearing the same presentation than someone hearing
Speaker:some nuance and something different. So it's a really good point.
Speaker:Yeah. So thanks for
Speaker:that. Now, we've talked about GRA
Speaker:goals, roots and attitude. The
Speaker:C is for companionship, right?
Speaker:Companionship. And talk to me about that.
Speaker:Well, when I wrote old
Speaker:companionship to me was really important. And since that
Speaker:time, I've learned even greater information. But as it pertains to
Speaker:companionship, that's someone in your life that may be a spouse,
Speaker:it may be your children, it may be a friend or
Speaker:others, but the companion is that person who will do two
Speaker:things. Number one will hear you cough or see that you're
Speaker:ill and say you're ill. Go to the doctor, I'm taking you now.
Speaker:I'm not taking no for an answer. That's what companions
Speaker:do. But the other thing is that
Speaker:interaction, that relationship, the
Speaker:stress reduction component of having a loved one.
Speaker:And research is really pretty clear that people who are in
Speaker:relationships and are married live longer than people who don't.
Speaker:So that there's a longevity factor along with that.
Speaker:But that companionship is important. And if it's an
Speaker:intimate relationship, that's incredibly important. And I talk in my
Speaker:other book about five levels of companionship,
Speaker:but it would be your intimate relationship, your family, your
Speaker:BFF, some people you know from a club that you belong to and
Speaker:then in the community, they all contribute to
Speaker:your well being. And the
Speaker:opposite of intimacy is loneliness.
Speaker:And loneliness is a health hazard. And
Speaker:we can't gloss over the fact that baby boomers
Speaker:are part of a component of our society
Speaker:who become lonely, they become detached, they lose a spouse,
Speaker:they move away, they move with their kids, they move to a kid's city
Speaker:and they lose their friends in a snap and
Speaker:so they retreat. Men in particular
Speaker:are not joiners of groups. They stay to
Speaker:themselves partly because that was their upbringing, partly
Speaker:because that was their job, even for myself.
Speaker:I worked in a silo as a doctor. It was like, me and the
Speaker:patient, me and the next patient. I tried to interact
Speaker:with my staff. I tried to interact with people in the hospital, but it's mainly
Speaker:a one person show, so that I was not as
Speaker:attuned to doing that. And now that I am, it's like I'll recommend
Speaker:to people to learn a new hobby like
Speaker:photography or join a chess club or a bowling group
Speaker:or a golf club or tennis. Do things that will put you
Speaker:in a situation where you'll develop friends and companions
Speaker:and people you can do things with. Because 24
Speaker:hours a day by yourself, or 24 hours a day
Speaker:looking at television or 24 hours a day with one person, your
Speaker:spouse may not suffice.
Speaker:Yeah. So if I was your patient, you'd probably tell me
Speaker:I spend too much time by myself and I'm too
Speaker:fiercely independent, but I do join. I am a member of
Speaker:a couple of organizations, and I do have several girlfriends that I
Speaker:get out with. But, yeah, nobody's here telling me if
Speaker:I'm coughing, I'm taking you to the doctor.
Speaker:Your friends would, they'd hear your cough on the phone.
Speaker:But just like any of the things I talk about
Speaker:in our conversation today, they require intention.
Speaker:You're connecting with people, and you're getting a lot back from
Speaker:doing these podcasts, and you're connecting with people and
Speaker:they're connecting with you, so don't beat yourself. Up about oh,
Speaker:and in fact, I even saw somebody in comments today, mary
Speaker:Beth. She says if I need help because of my finger, just
Speaker:to give her a call. So. Thank you, Mary Beth. They are there
Speaker:for.
Speaker:It'S. It's been an interesting and enjoyable experience
Speaker:for me in retirement to connect with people and say, let's go have
Speaker:coffee, let's go have lunch. People that I've known in my community for a long
Speaker:time, but they worked and I worked. And one is a new person
Speaker:who's moved in recently, and one was an old guy
Speaker:who I met up with when I was doing part of a bicycle club, and
Speaker:we became friends until he moved to San Diego. So there
Speaker:are people that I've gone after, and I tell them, I'll say, this
Speaker:is about me and my health, because my health will be better if I have
Speaker:companionship and so will yours. And if we hit it off
Speaker:and we're going to get together every couple of weeks and have
Speaker:coffee and talk about life and talk about our
Speaker:childhood, if that was it. One of the guys,
Speaker:his family was in the same business as my dad, so
Speaker:we really had something to relate to. Politically, we're different,
Speaker:but we were able to relate to some of those family things that we did,
Speaker:and we always have things to talk about. What a fun way to approach
Speaker:somebody. This is. Good for my health and yours, too. Let's be
Speaker:friends. Exactly what I did.
Speaker:All right, so we're down to e is for your
Speaker:environment. How does your environment impact your
Speaker:longevity and your health and fulfillment in
Speaker:life? Well, I talk about environment in a couple of different
Speaker:ways. When I speak in front of an audience, I put up a slide
Speaker:of a lush garden and a stream,
Speaker:and it also has a picture of some smokestacks in a city
Speaker:putting out pollution. So it's that part
Speaker:outside of us. And I talk about the
Speaker:importance of being with nature. And I'm lucky enough
Speaker:that there are some gardens in my yard, and I make sure to go out
Speaker:in my garden every day. And look at my amaryllis
Speaker:bulb my mom gave me about ten years ago, and
Speaker:I've propagated it. Now it's all over my garden. And I'm really proud
Speaker:of the pink flowers that pop up around
Speaker:sometime in April every year. I only see them for a few
Speaker:weeks, but being out there, I put feed in my
Speaker:bird feeder just so I can see that nature is abound us
Speaker:and it gives a calming effect to our
Speaker:bodies. And then the other part is the environment
Speaker:inside of us, what we put in our bodies and how we take care
Speaker:of this temple of ours. That's just so important.
Speaker:And it did motivate me to
Speaker:write my second book, The Power of Five. So we'll
Speaker:talk a little bit about the fact that there are five things in that
Speaker:environment that we have control over. So what we do with
Speaker:our body and how we take care of us ourselves is
Speaker:incredibly important. And that's something we have
Speaker:control over. So I thought you were going to say
Speaker:it's not just the food we put in our bodies, but it's the thoughts we
Speaker:put in our heads, too, and how we sometimes have to reframe
Speaker:that if we're thinking negative thoughts. Goes back to attitude. I
Speaker:guess it gets back to attitude.
Speaker:My five S's are sweets, sugar,
Speaker:carbohydrates, processed foods, unhealthy
Speaker:foods, eating too much, being addicted to sweets.
Speaker:That's one of them
Speaker:sweat, which is exercise. How much exercise we do, and
Speaker:it doesn't take much. It's 30 minutes a day, five days a week. Or I
Speaker:just read an article very recently that you can consolidate it all to a
Speaker:weekend and get your 150 minutes in on a weekend might
Speaker:be satisfactory. Certainly 450 minutes a week
Speaker:is sort of the optimal. Beyond that, you don't get much more
Speaker:benefit. And when you talked about
Speaker:what you have control over, you have control over your thoughts. And so
Speaker:that's the stress mindfulness component of
Speaker:how we can take care of ourselves and make ourselves healthier. And
Speaker:it does the chemical things in our body
Speaker:to reduce inflammation. This is the meditation part
Speaker:and the self talk part that you do the meditation,
Speaker:you do the mindfulness, you talk to yourself and you'll lower
Speaker:your stress levels, lower your cortisol levels, or
Speaker:improve your release of endorphins and
Speaker:you'll have a better outlook and there's a lot of mental talk with
Speaker:that too. But it's incredibly important and we
Speaker:have control over that and that has an
Speaker:impact on our health and our longevity. And people who are less
Speaker:stressed have less illness. It's been proven in article after article
Speaker:and study after study so that there's a lot of literature that supports
Speaker:that. In our
Speaker:growing up as baby boomers, I think it was poo pooed
Speaker:quite a bit and we thought it was just a little too much
Speaker:spirituality, but it's been found to be
Speaker:beneficial. And now that we have a little bit more
Speaker:time on our hands to learn how to do some of the
Speaker:meditation stuff that people talk about can be really beneficial.
Speaker:I was listening to a podcast about it today that we do have
Speaker:control over. It really does make a difference.
Speaker:Yeah, I think you're right that it really does make a difference. And
Speaker:I'm wondering of all of these things, your five
Speaker:S's. Grace, if we're
Speaker:at a point now, like a few weeks from now, I'll be
Speaker:70 and I think I've been living a healthy
Speaker:life. But thank you. But if there was
Speaker:one thing that you wanted to say to me like Wendy, this is the thing
Speaker:you really should focus on for the next because
Speaker:changing habits are hard. What would be that one thing that you think
Speaker:would have the biggest impact on my health?
Speaker:Well, probably would figure which one of those
Speaker:S's you had the greatest deficiency in and
Speaker:focus on that.
Speaker:At the moment I retired, I didn't think my stress levels were
Speaker:high, but they were high enough. And there are
Speaker:certain things that happen in the world and in medicine
Speaker:that bother me and disturb me.
Speaker:And I had a great relationship and yeah, maybe I was lacking on
Speaker:friends, but you heard what I said about what I'm doing about that.
Speaker:I had difficulty with sleep. So that was
Speaker:my sort of Achilles heel that for 40 years of
Speaker:practicing, either there was a rotary dial phone or a touch
Speaker:tone phone or one of these next to my bed
Speaker:and it could ring at any time and it disrupted my
Speaker:sleep and I wasn't getting as much sleep. I'm a night
Speaker:owl in a job that required me to be up earlier
Speaker:in the day than I wanted to be. And so there were some
Speaker:limitations in my sleep and I set some goals of
Speaker:enhancing that and doing a better job. And it's taken two or three
Speaker:years for me to get to that point, but that was
Speaker:what I would say is the one area for me that was weak. But everybody
Speaker:has their weakness. And I know my
Speaker:wife and I were in a store about a month
Speaker:ago and the woman who was helping
Speaker:us was overweight that's being
Speaker:generous and kind. And we talked about what we do, that
Speaker:we write. My wife publishes a cookbook, a healthy eating cookbook,
Speaker:and I talk about avoiding sweets
Speaker:and processed foods. And she said, oh, but
Speaker:I'm addicted to sweets. It's like, okay, well,
Speaker:you wouldn't know which one of those s's that you really need
Speaker:to approach. And don't rely on the
Speaker:fact that you're addicted to sugar and the addiction to sugar,
Speaker:processed foods,
Speaker:carbohydrates is similar to addiction to
Speaker:drugs and sex and exercise
Speaker:and alcohol. They all seem to have an
Speaker:effect on your dopamine levels in your brain. And you get a
Speaker:real experience, a pleasure
Speaker:sensation from those things. And that's dopamine.
Speaker:And the other emotion a person can have
Speaker:is happiness. So, Wendy, I'd say my interaction with you, you're a
Speaker:pretty happy person. And happiness is a serotonin chemical
Speaker:that makes you happy. So you can do things that make you
Speaker:happy, and you release your serotonin. But if you do things
Speaker:that release dopamine, you're doing it for pleasure. And so
Speaker:this woman couldn't break her habit of needing to get
Speaker:pleasure from eating sugar and sweet foods,
Speaker:which is. Bad for her health. Yeah. And
Speaker:my wife and I put together a journal
Speaker:to support the power of five. So I know
Speaker:that every day I wake up, I look at my pentagon and
Speaker:I make sure that I'm able to put a check mark next to each one
Speaker:of my five s's, which means I work on my eating, I work
Speaker:on my exercise, I look at how much sleep I got and try to make
Speaker:it better. I work on my stress
Speaker:and my relationship and companionship with my wife.
Speaker:So those are things that we can all kind of adapt in a big way
Speaker:or little way and just do it a little bit at a time. And as
Speaker:you've mentioned, Wendy, pick on one and start from there.
Speaker:And if you're 70, I'm making this up a little bit.
Speaker:It's the new 40. If you're healthy other than your
Speaker:finger at age 70, then
Speaker:you 70 is. The new 70 is what I like to say,
Speaker:because we used to think 70 was old and
Speaker:70 is still we're still going strong. We're still
Speaker:creating new things. Like, you you retired three years
Speaker:ago, and look at you. You're not really retired. You're still
Speaker:going strong. But
Speaker:if anybody in your audience is 70 and they're
Speaker:healthy, their life expectancy, like yours, is at least 20
Speaker:years. You're going to live longer, longer than my
Speaker:93 year old mother in law. And you may even eclipse my Aunt
Speaker:Flow, who lived to be 102. And there's
Speaker:lots of data to support everything that I talk about. And there's
Speaker:scientific discoveries looking at some of
Speaker:the cellular level of things that go
Speaker:on that will all be adapting to our lives. But
Speaker:for what we can do now, it's my power of five, my five S's.
Speaker:And those things have an impact on Mitochondria. Now I'm getting into
Speaker:the weeds for your audience. Yeah. But there are
Speaker:things that science is showing us where we can make
Speaker:a difference in our lives. And the whole idea
Speaker:is to have a long, health span. Lifespan is
Speaker:not really great if you're disabled from the age of
Speaker:70, but you live to be 90. You want to be like
Speaker:you and meanie and vibrant and healthy and doing all the things we
Speaker:want to do up until our last breath. Right?
Speaker:So follow the grace formula of
Speaker:setting goals, taking care of your DNA,
Speaker:having a positive attitude,
Speaker:intentionally building companionship and
Speaker:having a healthy environment internally and externally. And
Speaker:then look at David's Power of Five book, which
Speaker:we don't have behind you, but it is also a
Speaker:book about the five S's that are important in life
Speaker:that he was mentioning stress and sleep and exercise, which
Speaker:is not. An S. I like my little pentagon that I have up there.
Speaker:Sweat, sweat, sweet, sex, stress and
Speaker:sleep. There you go. Thank you.
Speaker:All right, so thank you, David. You
Speaker:gave us a lot of good information and I really appreciate
Speaker:it. If people wanted to email you with any additional
Speaker:follow up questions, they can reach out to you at david at
Speaker:powerofivethenumber
Speaker:fivelife.com. Or they can go to
Speaker:your website,
Speaker:powerofive.com. I
Speaker:will put both of those into the show notes.
Speaker:I also want to remind you about Road
Speaker:Scholar. Check out slash
Speaker:Heyboomer when you are planning your next trip.
Speaker:And check out our vitality assessment
Speaker:on Heyboomer Biz. We talked a lot about living a
Speaker:fully vital and healthy life, so see where you're
Speaker:at. This is more about emotionally, where you're at, but it's
Speaker:on Heyboomer Biz
Speaker:next week. Next week, my guest has
Speaker:definitely redefined retirement. Her name is Melissa
Speaker:Davies and she had a big corporate career working in
Speaker:the managed care, an executive in managed care. And at
Speaker:65, she asked herself, is this what I want to do
Speaker:for the next X number of years? And her answer
Speaker:was no. She decided that she wanted to be a
Speaker:filmmaker. She had never been a filmmaker,
Speaker:right? So she made a film.
Speaker:It was called beyond 60. She's now working on her
Speaker:next film. But beyond 60 is about women over the age of
Speaker:60 and it's
Speaker:available for general
Speaker:consumption. And it's a fascinating,
Speaker:very brave story. So be sure and join us
Speaker:next week for that. And I like to leave you
Speaker:all with the belief that we can live with curiosity,
Speaker:live with relevance and live with courage. And remember
Speaker:that you are never too old to set another goal
Speaker:or dream a new dream. Thanks so much, David.
Speaker:Thank you. Enjoyed it. Wendy my name is Wendy
