In this fun filled Episode 28 of the Shining Brightly Podcast Show Why it’s best to Date Like a Caveman, my guest is the amazing author, speaker, radio host and coach - Linda Gross.  We dive right in to learn about what a gender difference expert is and why nice guys do not get the girl. Are men really from Mars and women from Venus? Once you get the girl, why are you more desirable to other woman. Come listen, learn and share what the #1 quality that is needed in your dating relationships and life.

Mentioned Resources

Website: https://themensadvocate.com/

Book - The Science of Mastering Women: Real Truth About Women That Will Change Your

Life Forever. Amazon Author page -http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20   

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/90daybizblueprint

Instagram: @lindagrossspeaks

Twitter: @dt4m

Giveaway: Mention the Shining Brightly show on her website or social channels and Linda will send you her ebook, The C Factor.

About the guest – Linda Gross  

Linda Gross is the author of The Science ofMastering Women.  The Real Truth about Women that will Change Your Life Forever.  Interviewing over 20,000 men to write this book, Linda combined 10 years of academic research at UCLA on relationships, spanning from Caveman days to present, yielding a virtual encyclopedia for men to not only learn everything about women, but to be an expert when dealing with them. Linda hosts her podcast, ‘The Men’s Advocate Show with Linda Gross’, since 2015.  On her weekly show, Linda discusses male-centric topics is and can be heard on blogtalkradio/dtlindagross.  Her vast on-demand library can also be heard on her Soundcloud, iTunes, the Tune-In app, Spotify, and more. Her books can be found on 50 popular platforms as well as Amazon in paperback, e-book, and now, on audio.  Linda is also a sought after business consultant, helping men get through business problems and scale their businesses.  Send her a DM to join her private business group.  

About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

Website: Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

Social Media

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/howard.brown.36

LinkedIn - https://wwwlinkedin.com/in/howardsbrown

Instagram - @howard.brown.36

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#men #advocate #dating #women #relationships #menshealth #motivation #education #inspiration #podcast #download #share #shiningbrightly

Hello, it's Howard Brown. It's the Shining Brightly

show. It's your Maestro with the mic. Oh my goodness. I have the

best guests. And today we are going to delve into some

relationship stuff. And I have to tell you, I brought on an

expert today. And Linda gross known as DT Linda. Welcome.

Welcome. Welcome. How are you?

Thank you. How are you? I'm doing fantastic. How

are you today?

I am great. Spring is in the air. I know it's in

the middle of May in Michigan. But we're just getting our taste

this spring. So I'm so happy. And I'm just I know we just met

but you are fascinating to me. I have to tell you why. How many

people do you know that I've interviewed 20,000 men? Not me.

It's a lifetime research project that you've been doing.

Thank you.

10 years of academic work. Oh my God. Let me

just tell people about you. Then you'll fill in the blanks a

little bit. Oh my god. So Linda. She's based in the west coast in

Southern California, but interviewed over 20,000 men to

write this book. Oh my god, I can't believe it. The science of

mastering women. By the way, it was a best seller. It's out

there on Kindle. She just finished the audio book. You

gotta get it. You got to listen to it. She worked so hard and

getting the audiobook out. But you took your research at UCLA

on relationships spanning from the cat caveman days, maybe even

from Mars to and Venus, who knows. But you yielded this

virtual Encyclopaedia of men to not only learn everything about

women to be an expert in dealing with them. Boy, I have to tell

you, this is going to be my all time best show. Linda, you're

also the host of the podcast, the men's advocate show with

Linda Gross since 2015, you have a weekly show, you sent her on

male centred topics. And it's it's all over the place on

SoundCloud, and iTunes and Spotify and more. And your books

are still very, very popular. You have an author page on

Amazon. And it's amazing. And we'll talk a little bit later in

the show about your business consultancy and your private

group. And you got a freebie to give away. So we'll talk about

that little after so well tell us tell us something else about

yourself and also sneaking something that we might not know

about you that everyone doesn't know.

Ah, okay, well, I love to cook. And I love to

experiment with recipes. Sometimes I'll be trying a brand

new recipe, and I don't quite like the sauce and I don't quite

like the procedure. And then I remember, Oh, I have this recipe

from five years ago. And that procedure would apply to this,

or those seasonings or sauces would apply better to this

recipe. So I love you know that those creative juices and how to

make a tasty outcome. So, you know, when I have people over to

the house, they cannot have just one as Lay's would say, they're

always asking for seconds. And they asked this is how bold they

are. Linda, can I take some home, in addition to the

seconds,

they want the dog and they want the dog to back?

You're just freestyle and you're going. Thanks. Thanks for

sharing that. Well, let's get let's dig into it and chop it up

a little bit here. But the first thing that I have to tell you I

mean, the media calls you a gender difference expert.

Enlighten me enlighten, enlighten my audience. What is

the gender difference? Expert and do you even like that label?

Well, it's okay. It's It's It's aptly named? I

guess. No, I It's in my opinion, I think the last couple of

decades the media has just brainwashed everybody that the

sexes are the same. The sexes are the same women can do

everything a man can do. Bla bla bla bla bla, I don't believe in

any of that. And actually, it's not even up to mine not

believing it. I did the research, the academic research

to support my findings. And that's ultimately what ended up

in the book. But the findings are, that is so not true. It is

such a big giant lie. We're not meant to be the sexes are not

meant to be the same. We're meant to be complementary. Men

come to the table with certain strengths and weaknesses, women

come to the table with certain strengths and weaknesses. A is

not better than B or vice versa. We're we're intended to merge

and to complement each other, and to accentuate the strengths

that we do have. And to lift us up from the weaknesses that we

have. It's it's supposed to be a well oiled machine. We're not

meant to be the same if we were meant to be the same mother

nature would have made us all amoebas right. And we're not

Yeah, we

got we got different plumbing,

you know, everything down everything down

the line, you know, the lung capacity, the muscle capacity is

like everything is different.

So, reason yeah, no, take me a little deeper into

the research. Now. How did that I mean, that's all lot of men

you talk to Boy, I tell I take me through what

Everyone wants to know, like, how did you make

that happen? Should I tell you my secret on how I made it

happen if they had just invented the chat window, so I was able

to have five concurrent chat windows going on at the same

time. And well, let me back up one more step. I wrote the book

myself, I got to about six or seven chapters, and then I ended

up throwing it in the trash. And I thought nobody wants to hear

me stand on a soapbox talking about this subject. I'd rather

take this to the man on the street. And the man on the

street at the time was men on the internet, right? So I had a

blog site, I had 1000s of people who are on my blog site. And I

just started interviewing them. So the chat window comes into

play. And wow, I'm able to have five conversations with five

different men. And I kept asking, you know, what is your

headache? What is your problem? How did you get dumped? How did

you get cheated on? What didn't work for you? What did you try?

Nice Guy this that? Yeah. Like, all these zillions of questions.

And every conversation was unique. It wasn't like, I sent

one singular questionnaire to all 20,000 men, it wasn't like

that. I let them carry the conversation. for person number

one, you know, divorce was on their mind. Person Number Two

custody was on their mind. Person number three finances

were on their mind. So wherever the conversation went, that's

where I went to. And so after, you know, similar questions kept

coming up. And I got 500 answers to the same question exactly the

same way. And I thought, wow, statistically, this can't

happen. This is I'm on to something. And then I kept going

and kept going. Because it was so much fun. To me. It wasn't

work. I was basically doing this for 18 hours a day, for 18

months. But it didn't feel like work, because it was so

fascinating. So anyway, 500 went to 1000 answers, no deviations

to the same, same answer to the same question exactly, like

right on point. And I'm like, Oh, I gotta keep going. And I

have a degree in psychology from UCLA. And university studies

typically are anywhere the sample size is like 500. Maybe

if you got good funding, it's 1000. Maybe if you got excellent

funding is 1500. It's certainly not 20,000. Right? And I kept

going and going, because I wanted to see if there's

deviation if it if, if if somebody breaks the mould here,

but no, there was no deviation. Then I started doing the

academic research that went along with all these

questionnaires. And what I found out is, things happen for a

reason for a biological reason, like our behaviours occur due to

hormones, synapses, bodily functions, we react and act to

certain events, to certain interactions with the opposite

sex for a reason, we are attracted or repelled by

somebody for a reason. You know, it's all it's almost like you

can sniff it out or something like that. So there was a very

famous study, where they took 15 of men's soiled T shirts, right?

And they gave them to the woman course, they have no idea what

the guy looks like, or the guy wasn't there in person, just the

t shirt. And they had them smell these soil T shirts, and the

women would write down, were repelled, or were attracted to

this. So the pheromones kicked in the sense this, this scent

kicked in. And it and I and I did the research on that all

that and that's how it works. It's all biological.

That's, that's fascinating. And you had men

were of all sorts, single couples, married divorced, and

all like, ages. 1875 Yep. Well, the whole gamut.

I actually had several, a couple of dozen young

men who were gay, and I'm like, why are you reading my book? And

they're like, oh, no, no, it still applies because somebody

is quote, unquote, the male partner and somebody is the

feminine partner, you know, the more artistic emotional feminine

partner so they're like, No, your book still works with us

too. And I'm like up

so I mean, it's funny you know, I you grow up

and they like you my I have a twin sister. So yeah, go meet a

nice Jewish boy. He's a doctor. He's a lawyer, you know, go

Yeah. So So all right. That can a nice guy. It can you make it I

mean, it's being a nice guy does it work? Tell me the truth, I

got to know does

it work? You know, I'm sure the young men all hear

from their mothers, you know, be a nice guy, make sure you

respect her, like all this nonsense, none of that works so

hard. So so the poor guy spends all his time he's like, you

know, Honey, I'll help you paint the living room, of course, I

will, Honey, I'll help you change the tires, Honey, I'll

help you know, restore your computer that just crashed or

whatever, because he thinks if he does all these nice

activities, she's gonna, you know, do the deed with him,

right. But it doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way.

And the mothers who say, you have to respect a woman, I don't

believe in that either. I believe that you should treat a

woman or any person, male or female for that matter, evenly,

just equal, right? The person has to earn respect. They don't

get respect, just you know, for no reason, you have to earn the

respect. So I'm not saying be in a hole or be mean to them or

whatever. No, that that would be a negative emotion, right. So no

respect, which is a positive emotion, a positive esteem, and

no meanness, just be in the middle, just be neutral. Until

like Reagan used to say, Trust and verify. So you know, when

they earn it, then you can upgrade their status?

Well, I think that relationships are not always cut

and dry. It's their complex, right, and teamwork. Teamwork is

the dream work. I hope I agree with you there. And it's, it's

nice to do nice things for each other. But I guess there has to

be that respect, built and you have to be able to communicate,

right? What happens is guys tend to not communicate, right? It's

a tendency that we don't do, I can tell you that, you know,

we'd like to grunt and we'd like to be in our man cave, and maybe

not express how we're truly feeling. Yeah. And it's

sometimes it might come out as an outburst, or anger or

something else instead. So I guess, you know, we'll have

learning to do as well. So here's, here's

the good news, this little foot note to this nice

guy thing. Yeah, don't do it for the first 90 days. After that,

after you've won her over, then then you can bring your nice guy

out, then it's acceptable. But the first 90 days, she needs

something else. And that's what you've got to address.

But that also leads me to think to the bad

boys when to the bad boys, when why boys win,

because they have the number one quality that

women are looking for. Not nice guy, the number one they need

this quality, like they need air and it seems today, like one one

group generalised group that has this quality is the bad boy.

Right? So the thing, the quality that you need to win her over

with for the first 90 days is confidence. And why is that

again, we go back to biology, women need you for confidence.

Because let's say there's a weather condition, you know, a

hurricane avalanche tornado, like whatever it is, to to help

pull the women and children out of danger. So that's why she's

looking for a confident man. So those first 90 days, I want you

to be a good guy, always not a nice guy, a good guy. Some

somebody that has value standards, morals knows the line

in the sand, be a good guy, but you've got to transmit that you

have confidence that if there were an emergency, if there were

some guy who's bothering you at the dinner table trying to hit

on your girl, no, you're gonna put that guy in his place. Or if

there's a threat, or an emergency or whatever that you I

mean, here in California, we're prone to earthquakes. If an

earthquake happens, I don't want the guy to be running under the

table scared like a little mouse. It's like I want him to

say, here's what we're gonna do. Let's Let's run to I tell my

family Let's run to the bathroom because the bathroom is the

safest place in the house. Because of all the pipes and

whatever the whole house can fall down, but of all the pipes,

that broom is gonna stand. So that's where we go. But anyway,

you want someone to help you out of danger. Unfortunately, the

guy that's got the tabs, riding the motorcycles is the bad guy

somehow, you know, they already have that confidence gene. So

it's not that we want a bad boy. It's just that they have the

quality that we're looking for. So you as a good guy need to

develop that quality too. So I spend a good part at least a

third of the Talking about how do you build confidence? Because

a lot of guys don't have confidence.

Yeah, no, I, they don't want to admit it, but they

don't. And that's, that's important. Let me ask you, this

is a little bit of a, just it just came to me in this. And

I've been married for, you know, 20 and a half years, this whole

swiping right swiping left online dating thing, which you

have a something, you know, a device in front of you, before

you actually get to meet now, does that change some of the

equation of your studies? Or is it just amplify what you've

already know? Because I mean, some of my friends that now are

divorced, and they're basically swiping right swiping, right,

and then you wait for someone to contact you. You know, it's a

little artificial to me. But that's the world we live in. We

live in a digital connected age and things like that. Any

comments on swiping, right, and Tinder and all those apps?

Well, the only problem with that is you're

making 50% of the 50% of the population do something that is

not not inherently biological. So this works for men. And guess

what? Those engineering platforms were devised and built

by men to swipe right, right. The reason why that is, is

because men are turned on by pictures. Women are not turned

on by by pictures, women are turned on auditorially like,

what do you say to them? But see, the men who are in Silicon

Valley, they don't know this, they didn't take that class. So

they they made this programme that suits them that it's best

for them. So now you're taking women 50% of the population, who

are not turned on by pictures to get them to go with the flow

with something that's good for you, but not for me. It's

fascinating, fascinating. We do live in a in

a very soundbite video sample world of influencers, and, you

know, showing skin and only fans and even online porn and all

that stuff. I know it. So but yeah, so men visually and women

more with auditory will, the feeling. Okay, I appreciate

that. So, so all of a sudden, if, you know a guy finally

lands, lands, lands a woman or a girl, and all of a sudden, then

it's like bees on honey, why is he more attractive?

Because it's kind of like a sixth sense. Women can

sense okay, that you're with this girl. And they take a look

at her at the restaurant, you know, from afar, or whatever.

And she's kind of cute, whatever. And so you are

available to date. So that's why they try to take that female

away from you. They want to they want to take her place, because

they know that you are now dateable you're now relationship

material. They don't have to go through the 20 questions. And in

the month of dating, they already know this answer. So

they want to swoop in, push her to the side. They want to be the

next Mrs. Brown.

Well, Mrs. Brown has already spoken. That's,

that's great. And what? So tell me like, now all of a sudden,

you've got the data out there. And, you know, what are some of

your most give me a little bit some highlights or some exciting

things that that have come like certain guests you've talked to

and, you know, cool, cool situations, many movie stars

coming to talk to you about, you know, this or just kind of

thinking outside the box here. We're just Yeah,

I do. I haven't had a movie star. But I would say

the you know, I'm a, I'm oops, this way the men's advocate,

right. I support men's rights and Men's Fitness, Men's Health,

you know, any anything to do with men's interest I support

and probably my parallel person I had him on as a guest, Dr.

Warren Farrell, so I don't know, he's like, you know, worldwide

name and, you know, has multiple books out as well. And he

started being the president of no w the, the chapter for, you

know, women's groups. And then he realised after four or five

years that you know, women didn't stand for nice things.

It's like, and, and I kind of concur with that, that you

cannot have a female liberation or enlightenment to the

detriment of men. Like if you're gonna enlightened, you got to

enlightened both sexes, not just, you know, women are up

here and men are down here that that doesn't work. And that's,

that's typically what's been going on for the last few

decades that men are men, you know, you know, they're making

you guys to be cavemen and idiots and stupid and you can't

do anything and women should take over and, you know, women

are smarter and this and that and the other. I'm all for

women's empowerment. But like I say, I would have liked to have

seen that we uplift both sexes, and that didn't happen. So

that's why I'm an advocate because I don't like injustice

like that.

Yeah, no, I absolutely. Listen, I understand

that. From diversity inclusion, I come from an entrepreneurial

background. women owned businesses are actually less

funded to know only 2% instead of 97%. So there's inequities in

the system. So there's things that have to be much improved on

that pay scale. I have to tell you, the women's soccer team,

national soccer team getting paid the same as men. I mean,

amen. Finally happened that that's this is all overdue time.

So I don't want you to come across as that I like that all

boats can rise. But let's not forget about you know, men's

rights as well, as well. And that's what you're saying, I

believe. Yeah. Well, tell me a little bit more about some, some

of this business consulting that you're doing. What are some of

the projects that you're up against?

Yeah, I've been doing live coaching since 2007,

life coaching kind of entailed, you know, personal matters,

dating, relationships, things like that. But I kind of shifted

my focus, I still do that. But I shifted the dominant focus to

now over the last few years to do business consulting. So I

help CEOs and entrepreneurs who already have a business. First

of all, we start with their back end issues, and they could be

issues like pilferage employee turnover, supply chain could be

legal issues, maybe they're getting sued by somebody and

they need legal help. Maybe they have stockholder issues, all

these sorts of things, right. So we solve those problems first,

and then we scale their business. So scaling their

business could be anything from adding new employees, adding new

skews, meaning new products, adding more locations, or just

you know, overall, increasing, you know, the, the dollar amount

of their company, the dollar worth of their company. So,

yeah, I really enjoy that I get clients from all over the world.

And it's so exciting because each client is so different. And

it's, it's so challenging, and so fun, and it's just really an

amazing feeling to be their mentor and I see them so

downtrodden with an ashen face, you know, the first day I meet

them and then by the second or third visit the second or third

session, it's like they're glowing, they're they're

bouncing off the ceiling because they've implemented some of the

suggestions that I've asked asked of them. And it's just so

very rewarding. I love it to pieces.

Yeah, I know it sounds exciting that you've

ventured off into that and and all your research just helps

accelerate it and add to what you've been able to do and

getting you know this project. So again, Linda, that you've

actually you know, spoke to 20,000 men and compile that

information and then wrote the book and and are out there as a

men's advocate. I don't know too many other women that are that

that take that leadership role. So I'm so I've been so thrilled

to meet you. So I'm gonna put my sunglasses on right now.

Alright, for those that are listening, I have my white gold

shiny sunglasses and I'm putting you Linda gross on the shining

brightly spotlight to tell people how they can get in touch

with you what your free gift is and then give me some closing

exciting comments to close out the show.

Well, if you want tips on the men's advocate show

the podcast you can go to the men's advocate.com The men's

advocate.com We're on all the the podcasting platforms

Spotify, SoundCloud, tune in iTunes, they were all there. So

yeah, that's how you can find me. And if you need more

information on the business consulting, I do that 290 Day

biz blueprint 90 Day biz blueprint, just like it sounds.

So

yeah. What about the C factor?

Yes. Now the C factor is a little ebook that I

wrote on business like how to ask for a favour how to get what

you want, when you don't know the right people to move up.

Let's say you have a big ask right? And you don't know the

right person or the right thing to say I'm going to tell you the

right thing to say. So just write to me. info at the men's

advocate.com info at the men's advocate.com Say that you heard

me on Howard show and I'll send you that eBook for free.

Wow, this is incredible. What a fun show

Linda Thank you So it's um Howard Brown and you can find me

on shining brightly.com for my book for booking me for any type

of stages and speaking platforms and and also my my podcast as

well which will be syndicated out and I'm just having a blast

getting to talk to really interesting cool people and why

it's best to date like a caveman Linda, thank you what a great

show. I my audience is gonna love it. I wish you the best.

And we'll keep trying to make make it happen out there and

shine brightly every single day for ourselves, for others and

for our communities. It does make the world a better place.

Thank you.