I was afraid of socialising sober, I thought I wouldn’t have anything to talk about, the conversation would lull, there’d be no raucous laughter and definitely no hilarious stories of the night before to share the following morning.

None of that turned out to be true, of course!

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Hello darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect and have fun without alcohol in your

life. Join me here each week to find out how. Today, I'd like to tell you a story about how I began to get comfortable with

socialising without alcohol. Sometimes what you are most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free, and this

was certainly the case for me. If you'd have asked me 2 years ago how I felt about going out for a night and staying sober,

I'd have told you it sounded boring, stressful, and antisocial, and that, my friends, is because I was afraid. I was afraid

that I wouldn't have anything to talk about. The conversation would lull. There'd be no raucous laughter and definitely no

hilarious stories of the night before to share the following morning. I was afraid that if I didn't drink, I'd be asked about

why I wasn't drinking, and I'd have to explain with a good reason. Other people might think I was an alcoholic, and I'd feel

left out because I was the only one not drinking. I was afraid because if alcohol bonded us together on a night out, I'd feel

as if I was holding everyone else back from their fun. I didn't want to be judged by anyone else, and yet and yet I was both

judging myself and second guessing what was going on inside everyone else's heads. Because I used to be the one who organized

the nights out, was first to the bar or dance floor, and sometimes last to leave, I felt I had a reputation to either keep

up or slowly start to change. I started to suggest alternative activities to nights out, brunches, visits to nice tea shops,

and lovely long walks where the conversation was fabulous, no one retold the same story three times, we didn't talk over each

other, and we didn't lose our chain of thought. No one misses the alcohol on these occasions, and I definitely don't miss

the hangovers the next day. I did also accept any pub dates friends organized. I didn't want to miss out just because I wasn't

going to have an alcoholic drink. I made sure I arrived early and ordered a tonic in a big g and t glass so no one questioned

what I was drinking. I love being out in the pub with my friends. The atmosphere, the shared experience, the fun, I want all

of that, please. I know this won't appeal to everyone who is perhaps in the early days alcohol free, but I would urge you

not to cut yourself off from your really good friends and to ask for their help and support when you really need it. Here

is a WhatsApp message I shared in a group of some really good friends prior to a big socialising weekend, And, by the way,

these friends were astonished that I'd stuck to my alcohol free commitment for so long at that point. Hi, darling hearts.

I'm so looking forward to our weekend together. I love and miss you all loads. Just so you know, I'm carrying on with my health

kick and won't be drinking when we get together this time. I'll be bringing some amazing ingredients for mocktail making,

so no need to feel sorry for me. I'm still happy to play barmaid. I'll pour anything and everything for anyone else. I'll

still talk absolute nonsense, sing out of tune, and dance badly. See you on Friday. Can't wait. Ciao. Sarah. Of course, we

had another fabulous weekend together. Sending a pre warning can be a really useful tool for setting you up for successful

sober socialising. So, in summary, accept the feelings if you feel afraid of sober socials to start with, consider changing

your socialising activities, Pre warn friends if that feels good for you, and you never know. Things may turn out much better

than you expected, and you'll always be hangover free the next day, so that's a win every time. Thank you for listening to

this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up to my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working

with me one to 1 at drink less, live better.com. It would make me happier than a Buddhist monk if you would please subscribe,

5 star review, and comment on my podcast on whatever platform you listen. Imagine it like the tasting notes on the finest

wine I am never going to drink. Thank you, and PS, I believe in you.