Key Takeaways:

1. How can performance and mindset principles help in making a successful comeback from burnout?
2. What are the impacts of societal pressures on self-esteem and wellbeing, and how can they be overcome?
3. What is Holly's "Rocky Strategy" for overcoming burnout and building resilience?

In this episode, Catharine and Holly dive deep into the topic of overcoming burnout and making a comeback in life. Holly, a midlife comeback coach and motivational speaker, shares her personal journey of overcoming health challenges and applying performance and mindset principles to achieve a successful comeback. They discuss the impact of societal pressures on self-esteem, the accumulation of stress, and Holly's approach to resilience and response in the face of challenges.

Gift:

Private Podcast - Your Comeback Experience - how to feel healthier, wake up with more energy, and perform at the highest level. https://pinkfortitude.mykajabi.com/podcast-landing-welcome

About the Guest:

Holly Bertone is a Midlife Comeback Coach, Motivational Speaker, #1 Amazon bestselling author, and Host of Your Comeback Story Podcast. Holly spent 20 years in consulting and federal government service, primarily at the FBI, where she was a Chief of Staff.

After struggling with breast cancer, autoimmune disease, and debilitating chronic fatigue, she created a unique methodology to heal herself. Holly combines the principles of performance and mindset to coach successful women who are stressed out and burned out, to unleash their comeback story so they can ditch exhaustion, and achieve optimal health and performance. She has been featured on over 250 virtual and physical stages as an expert on using mindset to overcome adversity and create your comeback story.

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/holly.bertone/

What is the Best Quiz for Your Biz?

Take this FREE 60-second Quiz to Find Out: quizformybiz.com.

About the Host:

Catharine O'Leary is a dynamic speaker, author, and entrepreneur with a wealth of experience in market research, consumer insights, and innovative marketing strategies. She's known as the "quiz queen" and is an expert at asking the right questions to connect with ideal clients and boost business growth. With over three decades of corporate experience, Catharine is passionate about helping entrepreneurs have better conversations with their ideal clients and grow their business with cutting-edge marketing strategies.

https://catharineoleary.com/

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Catharine O'Leary: Hey everyone and welcome back to kickstart the conversation. I am your host, Catharine O'Leary and I am here with Holly Bertone. Holly is a mid life comeback coach, which I love. She's a motivational speaker. She's a number one Amazon Best Selling Author and the host of your comeback story podcast. Holly spent 20 years in consulting and federal government services primarily at the FBI, so be careful where she was Chief of Staff. After struggling with breast cancer, autoimmune disease and facilitating chronic fatigue. She created an a unique method to heal herself and Holly combines the principles of performance and mindset to coach successful women who are stressed out and burned out to unleash their comeback story so they can ditch exhaustion and achieve optimal health and performance. She is here to talk to us a little bit more about that burnout. I know that a lot of us are entrepreneurs, some of us are in corporate, it applies to all of us all the time. Whether you are burned out because your kids are driving bonkers or your boss is driving you bonkers. Or your clients are driving you bonkers. Somebody's probably driving you bonkers. So Holly, tell us a little bit more about about the comeback. Story. And, and yeah, how we can kind of be our own comeback story.

Yeah, thanks so much, Catharine, for having me on the show. And I really want as you as you listen to our interview, I really want you to kind of listen from both ears, because we're going to talk about burnout and talk from the health perspective. But the principles are going to apply to your business as well. And, you know, we can, you know, talk more as we get into the interview, but I mean, I've shared how, you know, I've used this exact same framework to heal myself, I've used it to grow and scale my business, and I used it to get a divorce. So I'm like, at this point, I'm like, you know, it's pretty universal. You know, my clients love it. They're getting results. So, yeah, so I just encourage you to keep an open mind as you do. And just, you know, ask yourself, like, what parts of my life really is, is the speaking to so yeah, so thanks for having me on the show. Well, yeah, let's get

Catharine O'Leary: stuck into it. Tell us a little bit more about how we can be that, that comeback story success.

Yeah, and I think really, we we tend to look at it I like to say the 80s movie montage. And, you know, I grew up in the 80s I love the 80s movies, and they have this, you know, the the montage where it's three minutes long, and you've got the character, and they're stuck in their situation, whatever that situation is. And then they're either faced with a challenge, or they're forced to do something, and they decide, Okay, it's time to do something different. It's time to make that big change in my life. And then you know, the music plays and you know, you've got the, the slack listening and the grimace. Facio Jennifer Beals pulls up her leg warmers and get a karate kids waxing on wax and all. And you know, and I think so often in our society, we think like, okay, you know, we're gonna come back from this place of, you know, whether it's our health, whether I'm completely burned out, I've let myself go, you know, I'm being pulled in a million different directions from, you know, my business or work from my spouse, my kids, my aging parents, that community stuff, like, I am literally in a million pieces all day long, you know, or from the perspective of our business and being in that place, where we're like, oh, it's not happening. And, you know, like, you were talking about, like, the ZAP years and, you know, Kajabi is and I had some tech issues this morning and computer just trying to restart for three hours. And, you know, we get stuck in this stuff, but we get stuck in that place of it's gotta be better, it's got to be better. And then we want to do this whole, you know, come back, we want to create something better for ourselves. And that's really what the comeback story is all about.

Catharine O'Leary: You sudden, the comeback story? Is there a portion of that that's also touching on because if we're coming back, we're coming back from something and usually is some sort of burnout or some like, you know, like you're not happy reached the top of your career or, you know, you've checked all the boxes, and now you kind of look around and go Well, I did everything I was supposed to. And this is it. Like that's the question. I'm like, really that like, like that? I'm I thought it would be more. So is that like, you know, maybe talk a little bit about that, you know, kind of from burnout to come back?

Yeah, absolutely. And I think what happens is, and I can only speak from a female's perspective, the guys listening you're gonna have to figure out what you know what it was like when you were growing up. But as as women, what I found is, is we're told three stories that we believe we were either the pretty one, or the smart one or unfortunately the good for nothing one. And that gets we carry that with This. So let's say, you know, we gain a few pounds, oh, maybe we're, you know, our self esteem takes a hit, maybe we're not the pretty one anymore, we feel like that. Or maybe we've reached a place in our career or we don't get the promotion or our business isn't growing, like, like we think it's supposed to. And then this story comes in that, you know, oh, well, I'm supposed to be the smart one. And then you get the perfectionist techniques or tendencies that come in? And it's like, how do you have these stories that are ingrained in us? And looking at that, from that place of that external validation? That, okay, I've got the scale, or I've got the business, or I've got the bank account. And we seek that validation externally. So really, it's about turning that piece to looking at that validation from inside. And I think what happens in our 20s and even early 30s, we're on this quest, and we're on this mission to create this quote, unquote, perfect life, that society tells us we're supposed to create, we're supposed to have, you know, the perfect spouse and the perfect career and the 2.5 kids and the picket fence, and, you know, all of this stuff, and, and a pug because I have a pug. So if there's any, any fun parents out there. But you know, what they don't tell us is that, you know, we we seek, and we seek, and we seek to reach these, these things that they tell us is supposed to make us happy. And then we get them. And what happens is, there's all of these pieces of us that get pulled away, you know, and by the way that 2.5 Kids, what they don't say was the point five is actually your aging parent that you're taking care of when you get to a certain age. So you know, it's, it's, we have all of these pieces that just get pulled away from us. And then all of a sudden, we're it's almost like, we're the shell of ourself, and we're just on autopilot, and we're doing the things that everyone else tells us to do. And we kind of forget that, Okay, what about me, and we put ourselves last and, you know, and and, and do all of the things and drive all of the things I'll give you actually a perfect example of this, which is absolutely hilarious, totally called myself out on it. This past week, I was on a self imposed deadline to get something done. And I, my podcast producers going to be on vacation. And I wanted to get a certain amount of episodes to her before she got on vacation. And it ended up being a bigger project than I thought. So it ended up being a lot of very long hours, and you know, some behind the scenes stuff. And actually, our I know you're familiar with our coach Jaime, and and I was on a call with him. And he's like, Holly, are you okay? I'm like, No, I'm really not. And I was laughing is sick. Wait a second. So you've been working 12 hour days to get all of this stuff out, burning the candle at both ends to get it to your podcast producer who's taking a week long mental health vacation. And you're the coach that helps people recover from burnout, just making sure I got that, right. And I was like, Oh, I feel so exposed. But this is this is what we do. Right? Yeah, it's just human nature.

Catharine O'Leary: So how do we how do we stop doing that? Or how do we put habits in place that, that, you know, kind of, like, check us like, you know, like, oh, wait a minute, like, do I really need to do that? Like, let's have a check.

Yeah, so I think what happens I like to call it the soccer cycle. Because it's, it's, what happens is it we look at stress, like, like a song on a playlist or even a couple songs on a playlist. But it's stress over time, and it's more like going to a concert. So you know, when you go to a concert, and you're you know you're up late, you got the loud music and you know, dancing, maybe a little drinking and you get the worst night's sleep ever, because you know, your adrenaline's going your cortisol is gone, you know all of this stuff? Well, it's that's like what stress is. So it's not one specific thing that is going to, you know, cause us to be in this burnout. It's it's accumulation, and it's a lifestyle. And it's it's not the song or the playlist, it is the entire concert, and that's what we're living in. And what happens is we get these events and we view them singularly but they build on top of each other, you know, and we ruminate and we repeat the story over and over again, you know, to our friends to our spouse, you know, yeah, like we were talking like is that like Zapier is not where Getting right and you get into or the other day when you know, Facebook crashed or whatever, you know, you get sucked down this rabbit hole of Oh, this isn't working, this isn't working. And that's all you can focus on. It's all you can think about. And then B is the last thing you think about before you go to bed, you get a horrible night's sleep. And this the first thing you wake up in the morning, and then you're like, Oh, my insomnia, you blame it on insomnia, you know? And then you're like, Well, I'm not going to work out this morning, because I don't have any energy because of that stupid insomnia. Whoa, really, really? Is it? Or is it the fact that it's all of this stuff that just builds up over time. And that's what happens is that it grows and it grows, and it grows, until it you know, actually could potentially become disease in your in your body, unfortunately. And that's what we ignore. Because we think, Oh, well, if I don't have I'm not diagnosed with anything, I don't have a disease. Well, what about that, you know, that that feeling in your stomach of just anxiety that just goes from your throat to your stomach and back, right? Or those sleepless nights? Or the migraines, or you know, or the weight gain, or all of this stuff added together? And you're like, oh, wait, maybe this is my body telling me that, you know, I should really pay attention to some things here.

Catharine O'Leary: And do you and so when you are working with your clients, how like describe, you know, the process that you take them through to? I don't know if you call it distressing, or you know, kind of overcoming burnout, or maybe just getting a good night's sleep? I'm not sure. Yeah,

absolutely. I actually call it in line with the 80s movie montage and the comeback story, I actually have a framework, I call it Rocky, just like the original Rocky movie circa circa 1976. And because what I think happens, and this is this is true for your health. This is true for relationships, this is true for your business, is that we think we can operate from the Go button, just tell us what to do. And we're gonna go Don't tell me what to do, I'm gonna go do it. And especially we're overachievers and we're drivers and perfectionist, and we just want the results, you know, and it's coming from a good place, but it's like, okay, when you're in that place, and you're frustrated, and you're potentially angry, or you have resentment or jealous like, you know, you're in your Facebook group with your with your, you know, coaching group, or mastermind, you see everyone else getting success, but you're not, and you're gonna get a little frustrated, right? Like, why are they getting doing the same thing? Why are they seeing the results? And and you have this stuff. And if you go from that place, right? What happens is that our future becomes where our attention is. So if we're trying to create our future from that place of anger, despair, frustration, resentment, anxiety, worry all the things, then our future is going to look just like that. And if we're creating our future, from that gap of I don't have this thing, or I want this thing, then that's what the future is gonna look like. And that's why we're not getting results. So I don't actually like to start at the Go button, I like to go backwards first. So R is what I like to call rear view mirror. And that's really just being okay, getting right with what got us to this place. And you know, taking a step back and saying, Okay, I need to be at peace with exactly where I am today, with all the decisions that I made to get me here, and to have that level of forgiveness, for those who you know, who potentially, you know, created a situation that we're here today, or potentially forgive ourselves, and really to find that inner peace. Oh, is what I like to say, own your ship. And that is with a P like a boat. And that's responsibility. That's a hard pill to swallow. You know, especially in today's age, it's easier to say, Oh, well, you know, we had that tech glitch, or that person said this or that person was said a mean comment on Instagram. So that's going to ruin my day. Well, we can either be at cause or we can be at effect. And when we choose responsibility, it's our ability to respond. So once we get those two down, that's when I like to hit the go button. And this C is to create your future so this is really where you have fun with habit stacking and setting sparkles in the manifestation and the visualization and, and I know your background is as an engineer and you know, my backgrounds in project management. So it's, you know, it's it's finding that sweet spot of the doing, and you know, also the believing in the dreaming and creating that life and now you're creating that future self from that place of, of of your future self of your best future self and not from that future self that still kind of gutted and then what are we at K keep the vision that Have you? This is when all the obstacles happen, right? It doesn't matter what journey you're on, you start taking those steps and those obstacles come in. It's a rainy day. It's a fight with your spouse's ticket glitches, it's stuck in traffic, you name it, bad customer service, like, it's life is always going to happen. You know, I've got a friend that says life just gets lifee. And this is a way to really understand it's okay to feel those emotions when those obstacles happen. But when you can be, again, take that responsibility. So you know what I may or may not have created a situation, but I can choose how I respond. And when you can coexist with that stress, when you could coexist with those obstacles, you're able to overachieve them and to be able to keep that vision of your, of your future self. And then where are we at why the last one, and that is really coming back home to you. And that's, that's the best part, you know, you talk about the 80s movie montage, and you know, the character in the movie at the end, they go through this journey, and they realize that they've had it inside of them all along. And that's what the comeback journey is about is really coming back home to you, you know, and you've got all these different people telling you all these different diet protocols, and all these different business strategies. And it's like, ah, everything seems to work, and I'm all over the place on what's working for me. And when you can come back home to you, you actually come back to that aligned place where you are able to have a clearer head to be in the solution, not the problem to make those decisions that are best aligned to you. And that's really what the comeback is all about.

Catharine O'Leary: I love that because you do start like kind of okay, like this is this is happening in the past and whatever. But now what do we do need to do for the future and get into that, you know, kind of feeling and you know, forward thinking, and then center it back on you. So that's amazing. I love that Holly. Well, how can people learn a little bit more about about you and get in contact with you?

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Thank you so much it Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to connect with you. And, and I've got a private podcast is actually called your comeback experience, where we actually dive super deep into the entire rocky framework, every single, every single acronym, where you go deep into an episode. So it's a lot of fun. You can go to podcast holly.com And if you forget what the URL is like, what was that podcast? Holly was talking about? Super easy podcast. holly.com. And then hit me up on Instagram say hello Holly dot Be rtone b e r t o n e. I actually speaking of comeback, my Instagram made a comeback so I shut everything down. Last year I had a fairly decent sized channel and started completely over from scratch is a whole different story. So yeah, come say hello, I answer all in my DMs and love to hang out there too. Awesome.

Catharine O'Leary: Well, thank you so much, Holly. I appreciate you spending some time with us today. And for all of you out there listening. Thank you for joining us and remember to stay curious, ask a lot of questions and keep the conversation going. Thanks so much.