In this ever-changing world in the realm of technology, the divisiveness of social media has continued to be a topic of conversation, even with its own polar opposite viewpoints! From personal, professional, and business purposes, it can be a leveraging tool to share a variety of different points of view. However, can we use this to show our care, empathy, and compassion to serve others and globally change the way we hold conversations with purpose? Today’s episode challenges the use of various social media platforms, and to come from the central tenant of caring.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

141 of Speaking From The Heart, and

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I've been waiting for this episode for

a very long time to talk about with

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you separately as a monologue, because

I have been really digging into this

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conversation about social media, not only

in other conversations that we've had

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on monologues, but also with guests, for

that matter, and how divisive social media

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has been to really push us off the edge.

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It's made us horrible people, to the

point that we are having no common sense,

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no decent respect for the human race,

no ability for us to have polar opposite

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viewpoints and be able to share what is

on our heart; the very essence of why

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we even started this conversation in the

first place, but yet, when I think about

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all the people that have struggled and

have even walked away from social media

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because they have been hurt, they have

been seeing the damage that has been

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caused by other people, but even more

importantly, the true ramifications of

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our physical and mental health, combined

with all the other areas in which it has

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been really painful for us to see has

really, truly gotten us into big problems.

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It's gotten us into things that maybe

we should reevaluate, not by law, but by

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being humans, by its very nature, being

able to understand that we can change

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the viewpoint that we have, while at

the same time, understand that we don't

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have to live that kind of life anymore.

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The realm of technology in which

we've seen social media explode since

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the early 2000s has been radical.

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It isn't just because of the advent

of the popularity of the Internet, but

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even because of the things that we've

been able to advance, and we've even

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talked about in this show, especially as

it relates to artificial intelligence,

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better known as AI, it has made such

a huge difference in us being able

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to communicate across long distances.

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It has even made some industries

obsolete, even mail processing facilities

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have completely evolved into more of

a package distribution, being able to

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send physical goods instead of physical

letters, which we used to be able to

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use back in the day, which, for my Gen

Z'ers, that involved a pen, a piece of

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paper, and lines on it so that we would

be able to guide what we were writing,

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and for some of my older folks, I know.

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I'm a millennial and I've written a few

of those letters myself in that format.

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We have forgotten the lost art of just

understanding why sharing on social media

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can also mean caring as well, because

when we look at the "sharing is caring"

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phrase, we're not just understanding

that we want to connect with other

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people, we want to associate with them.

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We want to feel a connection beyond

any kind of connection that we

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normally wouldn't have unless we

were meeting with them in person.

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This episode is dedicated to all the

people that have ever been shamed or hurt

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or even thrown under the bus in any social

media post, even feeling neglected for

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that matter, and just seeing that maybe it

might be time to have a coalition of all

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these different people that have ever felt

that way, to be able to change the status

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quo of what social media is all about.

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Can we use our care, our empathy, our

compassion to serve others, not just on

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a micro level, but also a macro level?

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A global change in which we hold more

conversations about the most important

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subjects and not be pulling each other

down into the abyss, or even into hell

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for that matter, so that we're able to

challenge, not each other, but be able to

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have a healthy dialogue that challenges

our thinking inside of ourselves.

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What do we do, even as individuals?

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How can we change this dialogue, because

I know what I'm going to hear: all the

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conversations about, "Well, social media

companies are the ones that really need

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to change: Facebook, Google, X, all of

those need to be the ones that change,

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and even now, over the last few months,

with the change of even TikTok for that

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matter, it starts to re-examine the ways

in which we need to understand how we

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can communicate more effectively when it

comes to caring about others, so I have

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a couple viewpoints that I want to share

with you today that can't be their own

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little episode, but I want to throw into

this as one big compendium of things that

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we can do to change our minds about how

we use social media, especially when it

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comes to the context of sharing is caring.

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Now first off, we need to take

a step back and even just look

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at ourselves for a second.

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If you're a type of person that doesn't

feel compassionate or feels like they

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care about others, and the way in

which they should be caring, that's

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one thing that you need to work on.

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If you keep on saying to yourself that

you need to do better, that you need

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to keep growing, that you need to keep

on pushing yourself into the positive

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direction that you need to go, well

then you're doing the right things,

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because you're taking those viewpoints

from everybody else, and you're being

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able to incorporate that into yourself.

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You are a work in progress, which is

something that oftentimes gets missed

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in the bigger scheme of understanding

how we can create that value amongst

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each other, but most people might be

thinking, "hmm, I don't think I have

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any problem.", but yet they continuously

hurt others by the words that they use,

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the things that they say they're going

to do but they never do, and, not my

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favorite, they attack, interrogate,

and antagonize all the people that

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are trying to put good into the world.

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Those are the people that need to hear

this message more than anything else,

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but of course, they're not reading books.

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Of course, they're not digesting podcasts.

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Of course, they're not talking to people

which they need to surround themselves

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with to make themselves feel better about

the viewpoints that they need to hear.

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It can be challenging to be able

to share a different viewpoint.

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That means that we actually have to

go out of our way to be able to learn

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something new, so my challenge today

is is that you need to start looking

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outside the circle that you're in.

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Whether you're Republican, whether

you're Democrat, whether you're

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Libertarian, whether you're Green,

regardless of your party affiliation,

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swallow your pride and listen to another

viewpoint, and start to understand

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the perspective that they bring.

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It doesn't mean that you have to agree to

it, but it means that you have to learn

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what are some of the standing points

that might be the reason why they view

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the things that they do the way they do.

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That is the basis for some of the

things that I even want to share now.

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Really, the next thing that I want

to talk about when it comes to

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social media is just respecting

what other people have to say.

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Just as simple as that.

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It doesn't mean that when you see

something that you absolutely disagree

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with that you have to argue three to

five counterpoints as to why it's wrong.

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All you have to do is use your scroll key,

whether that's your thumb, or if you're

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on a desktop computer, the scroll button

that's on your mouse, and move along.

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I think that we've even have forgotten

that sometimes the best way in

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which we can handle these sort of

situations, is to just move on.

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Especially for some people that are

not able to process new ideas and they

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have completely shut themselves off

from being able to absorb or learn new

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material for that matter, will never

be able to understand the viewpoint

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that you're trying to share, and

sometimes it's clearly shown from some

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of the things that I've even seen on

social media, which includes some of

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the most disgusting photos, and some

of the most disgusting language, that

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I have ever seen in my entire life.

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It would even make my grandmother

blush, who doesn't use social media,

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by the way, so I think that we need to

understand that if you were embarrassed

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by what things are being said, and

yet you want to try to challenge it,

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now who is the fool, you or them?

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Use this ability to move on and

not even deal with the problem

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that they're trying to face.

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Sometimes the things that you need to

say, don't even need to be said, and even

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if you have a viewpoint, which leads me

into my next conversation aspect of this.

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Even if you have a viewpoint that you

want to share, understand that for

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some people you have to break it down.

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It means not necessarily assuming what

they understand, but even just having

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a message, privately, offline, that

allows you to have that conversation with

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someone can make such a big difference.

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That means actually getting to know

a person's background, what kind

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of education they have, what kind

of family dynamic they have, all

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kinds of other things, so that we

are able to understand them better.

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Now, before you go on and say

that I'm asking you to do that

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for every single person that

you interact with, you're wrong.

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I'm not saying that.

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What I am saying though is you need to

be able to understand what that person is

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coming from in terms of their viewpoint.

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In other words, you need to share not

only what they have going on in their life

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with you, but you also need to return the

favor and give them the information that

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they're seeking, but it doesn't mean that

I'm asking you to expose your true heart

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let alone even expose yourself, for that

matter, opening up the floodgates of being

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hurt, to being shamed, and even the worst

thing that I could ever imagine, being

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physically assaulted, or even violently

hurt, because they find out where you

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live, and they start to antagonize you;

they start to embarrass you, they start

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to do things that are necessarily bad,

so I'm not asking you today to have

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conversations with complete strangers.

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I'm asking you to have conversations

with complete strangers with care, with

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professionalism, with understanding that

you are interacting with someone that

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has thoughts, feelings, and emotions,

not somebody that is just a robot talking

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behind a keyboard, because we often forget

that there's a face behind that picture;

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somebody that is actually identifying

with what you're trying to say.

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One of the last things I'll even mention

about social media and how you can use

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it to your advantage for the positive

aspects of it, is to learn how to digest

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some of the things that are being said.

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What I mean by that is, if you don't

understand a term, the subject that's

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being discussed, or even the things

that are being shared, don't even bother

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trying to engage in the conversation.

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You're only going to get people mad.

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They're going to come after you because

you are not informed about the subject,

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which leads me back to a previous

point I've already made If you're not

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even understanding who the person is

that you're talking to, and you're

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making stereotypical decisions about

them, what makes you think that you're

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a credible source to talk about a

subject matter in which you might have

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never even heard of before, but yet

you want to put your own two cents in?

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That's like me, as a coach, trying

to start a business about public

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speaking amongst other subjects,

and saying that I'm an authority

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when I have nothing to back it up.

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If I had not done Toastmasters, if I

had not worked for state government, if

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I had not gotten the education that I

had, I would have never even considered

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opening a coaching business, let alone

even working with clients for that matter.

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I would be considered a fraud, and that's

exactly what you're doing every time

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that you open your mouth on social media

and think that you have a well informed

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opinion, when in reality, you never even

bothered to understand the subject matter

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and what the details are behind it.

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That is just opening yourself up

to not only a can of worms, to

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not only the problems that are

associated with that, but also all

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the feedback that you're going to

receive that is not so good in nature.

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Now, all these things about social

media have been things that we've

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even challenged on this show about the

importance of understanding not only

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the perspectives that we bring, the

mindset, if you will, of the different

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individuals that we work with and the

businesses that we partake in, but it

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means that we are showing how we can

care, how we can empathize, how we

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can serve with compassion, and how we

can have conversations with purpose.

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All those things, even the tips that I've

shared today, can help you to jump start

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a conversation that is a lot more positive

and a lot more fulfilling, instead of

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just being a keyboard warrior, or even

digesting videos and audio of people that

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have no business of sharing what they

need to share, but there's one more thing

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that I think is really important before

we even end on this subject that I want

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to share with you all, and it's about

how you can be the change that this world

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needs, not only to share more positively,

but to care with more compassion.

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I've had people, since I've opened this

business, criticize me, not only in front

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of others, but also privately as well.

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I've had a number of different instances.

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People telling me that

I'm not a good coach.

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People that say that I'm not

qualified to be running this business.

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People telling me that

I should get out of it.

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People that have even said that I am not

even worth the time, or the money, that

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they would need to invest, and those have

been horrible, disgusting things that

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have been said to me, and whether those

were really meant to be said because

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they were just literally typing it on a

keyboard, or whether they were passively

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just putting that down just so that they

could get it off their chest so they can

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attack somebody, words hurt, and for a

long time I let those words bother me.

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I let that really get to the core

of whether I was really making the

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right decision, and then I realized

one thing, is that there's a lot

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of hurt in this world, and there's

a lot of people seeking attention.

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They're trying to figure out where

their place is, and sometimes social

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media is used in a way that allows

them to feel like they are confidants.

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They are the change makers that are

necessary to make the world a better

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place, but in reality, they are not.

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Whether you're ignoring me, criticizing

me, putting me down, those are the

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feelings that maybe all of you have

felt one way or another, especially

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as it relates to social media,

but it doesn't give anybody the

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opportunity to treat anyone that way.

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We are all human.

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We have a heart in which we really

do care and we want to share it with

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so many people, but yet, when we

continuously put each other down, of

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course we're going to feel neglected.

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We're going to feel dejected.

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We're going to feel as if we have been

lost in this ever changing world, but

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I want to give you hope today that it's

okay to share what's on your heart,

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especially when it comes to social media,

because I think we all are entitled

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to our opinion, but if we can have

respect, if we can have a more conscious

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dialogue in which we are researching,

understanding, communicating, in a

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positive, more constructive way, that is

what will make the world a better place.

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That is what will change the dynamics of

all the things that we would ever do in

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our entire lives, and all we have to do

is just pause, reflect, and think about

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what we can do to be better overall.

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I'm not saying today that you have

the free ticket to hurt other people,

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but I'm also saying that you shouldn't

hurt people just because of what they

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have in terms of their viewpoints,

even if they're the most hated things.

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We can be better people, because we

are all sharing this carefully designed

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world of social media in ways that will

help us in so many different aspects.

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All we have to do though, is understand

that with purpose, we can be better

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people, and with conviction, we can have

a better, caring conversation with others,

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but we got to listen to each other, to

not only grow, but to learn as well.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 141 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

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See you next time.