Today's guest is New York Times bestselling author and clinical psychologist, Dr. Shefali. She's an expert in family dynamics and personal development and teaches courses around the world. She's written a multitude of books, including The Conscious Parent, The Awakened Family, and her newest book, The Parenting Map, with step-by-step solutions to consciously create the ultimate parent-child relationship. Dr. Shefali offers a profoundly practical and groundbreaking parenting solution that helps parents actualize their deepest desires for their children. This step-by-step guide disrupts toxic inherited patterns and replaces them with authentic connections that allow us to see and respond to our children for who they are, and who they can become.
The book is a minimalist approach to parenting, which is truly getting to the basics, knowing they are good enough, and actually more important than all the other things that we've built up to be important milestones for our children. Focusing on healing ourselves, letting go of control, and allowing for the playful, fun of childhood will lead to the most resilient adults. In this conversation, Dr. Shefali opens my eyes to the incredible opportunity in ditching the rules and need for control.
Thank you to Dr. Shefali for spreading this message to parents that doing a good job doesn't mean being perfect, it really just means getting the basics right. I took lots of notes during this conversation, and I know other parents out there will get a lot of value from it as well. I’m so excited to welcome Dr. Shefali to the show!
We also cover…
00:04:00 — The Key Principles for Conscious Parenting
- What’s different about her latest book, The Parenting Map
- Reviewing the 3 stages of conscious parenting - 1. Frustration to Clarity, 2. From Dysfunctional Patterns to Conscious Choice, 3. From Conflict to Connection
- Why we don’t need to have total control over our children
- Changing our expectations of our children to create less frustration
- What rules matter versus what rules are arbitrary
- The thing that will negatively impact a child many parents unintentionally do
00:18:00 — Breaking the Cycle: Inner Child Work & Reparenting
- How the ego plays a huge role in parenting
- Something a conscious parent wouldn’t say
- The 5 main ego patterns: breaking patterns from childhood
- Where to start doing inner child work
- What reparenting can look like
- How to show up in a conscious way for your child
00:29:00 — Tips for Reconnecting with Your Child & Cultivating Creativity in Parenting
- Advice for feeling shame around not being a good enough parent
- What showing up better looks like
- Reframing mistakes to reconnect with a child
- Why punishment is the greatest cause of disconnection
- The root cause of what parents find to be disrespectful behavior
- Inviting creativity into parenting
- Insight about the disadvantages of screen time
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