Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, love and passion fades with time? In this episode, Lorin reveals that in fact, the longer you are in a relationship, the more love and passion you can experience.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Deep Polarity Program
An 8-week immersive journey to unlock the deepest intimacy through masculine & feminine dynamics.

Have you ever heard that in a long-term relationship, it is normal that the

love and passion fades with time?

Well, it's a myth, a myth I'm going to unravel.

I'm going to talk about why this could not be farther away from the truth.

Because the longer you are in a relationship, the more love

and passion you can actually experience, and why this myth is so

widespread and where it comes from.

My name is Lorin Krenn and I'm the host of this podcast.

My mission is to help people utilize the power of masculine and feminine polarity

and experience deep and healthy intimacy.

Let's drop in

Growing up, we are modeled dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.

Unfortunately, this is the norm and it tends to start with our parents.

This dwindles, our natural fire, our natural yearning, our natural passion

to experience love, to experience deep intimacy in a relationship.

I remember growing up and hearing things such as love is just the

chemical cocktail in your brain.

It doesn't exist.

Or relationships are always suffering.

Or another one, enjoy your freedom in your intimate life as much as you can

while it lasts, because when you settle, well, then you're no longer going to

experience the sense of adventure, excitement, and passionate love.

All of these, and there are so many other limiting narratives

that I'm sure you have heard.

And even if you don't remember, we pick these things up as we

grow up as children, right?

As children, our parents, or to people close to us, the way they show up in

relationships are our first teachers.

And we are not able as children to discern whether that's a great

teacher or a dysfunctional teacher.

And most of the time it's a dysfunctional teacher, then you might even see

right now, wow but my parents, they always work together and that's great.

That's important, right?

But if they were just together but there was no connection, there was

no intimacy, then you pick the.

We can feel that.

It's not just about being together and staying together.

It is about constantly nurturing and deepening their connection,

the intimacy, love and polarity.

But back to the examples I've just given.

Love is just a chemical cocktail in your brain.

It doesn't exist.

Relationships are always suffering.

I'm going to give you a harsh truth.

All of these things are said by people who have never experienced deep intimacy.

Who've never experienced intimacy that touches the heart.

That touches the soul.

That feels like home.

That feels like a warmth in your empower body.

The feeling of finally arriving.

You cannot put a name, a label to it.

But it just does feel like home.

It does feel like your natural state of being, your most innocent

self, your most truthful self.

All of the people who say this are saying this because they're suffering

and they have given up on the yearning deep inside their heart because

no one grows up, comes into his world and just says, you know what?

I give up on love.

I give up on relationships.

This shit doesn't exist.

No one does that.

This is learned fucking behavior.

And I feel compassion for those who say these things because it's

a miserable reality to be in.

It's only suffering.

Because true suffering is to give up on love, is to give up on that deepest,

innocent, most truthful yearning inside our heart, inside our soul.

This is why we came here.

I believe whole heartedly.

We came on this earth to realize ourselves in union to heal, to awaken,

to experience the deepest states of joy and love in union with another soul.

Because in union, we're not only mirrored our soul's beauty, but also our

wounding, how our trauma is impacting our now reality, our habitual patterns

of closing, shutting down our body.

Disconnecting, shutting down from the love, from the deep intimacy that

is available to us in each moment.

And growing up, we hear these things and this becomes deeply

ingrained within our subconscious.

Instead of being more.

That by consistently working on a relationship, putting in the effort,

committing whole heartedly, soulheartedly, I just made that word up, doesn't exist

I believe, that our relationship, if we put it into work, it can become the

most powerful and empowering container.

The most powerful experience in this human life.

We're not told that.

We're almost told to give.

And that it doesn't work.

Now, why does this myth even exist that love and passion fades with time?

And then when you settle, it gets fucking boring after a while?

The answer is very simple.

It is brutal again, but the reason why people believe these things that it

gets boring and all of that, is because most people have not reached a level

of consciousness in the wakening or healing, where they're able to step out

of their habitual patterns, conditioning, pain, and suffering, and are able to

consciously create intimacy, sieze the spontaneous at the, of the present moment.

Because you create, you decide or create the destiny and future

of your relationship in the now.

It's very, very simple.

What you do from moment to moment on, in this very second, whether

you are in a relationship or in your future relationship, decides

the fate of your relationship.

And if you are not putting in the effort, if you are not doing the

work then, well, you are creating a dysfunctional relationship and you're

going to get stuck in your habitual patterns of closing, withdrawing

your love disconnecting from your partner, but more about it in a second.

Another reason why this myth exists is because we're so stuck in our hand, stack

in our identity, in our limited stories of suffering, that we are unlovable,

that we are not good enough, that when people get to really know us, they

won't like us, that we're bad, that it will, that they will always abandon us.

We all in some shape or form suffer from these stories because

of wounding we have experienced.

But if you're only there, then what happens is you are no longer able to

feel that deeply intimate and emotional experience that arises when you are

intimate, physically, emotionally, spiritually, with another being.

When you hug your partner or future partner, when you kiss them, when

they are just next to you, that is a deeply, deeply intimate experience.

You might think now what the fuck is Lorin talking about?

But this is because we're numbed out, because let me tell you this.

Your body, your heart is ever responding to your partner.

So let's say your partner loves you.

You will love them in each moment you can feel these love.

You can feel their love, they're next to you, they're

hugging you, they're with you.

And this creates a state of joy, euphoria, ecstasy, love and passion.

And guess what?

This only invites more.

More intimacy, more trust, more safety, more love.

But we are numbed out from that.

Let's go deeper into this hour.

Is the vessel, the conduit for which intimacy, polarity and love flow through.

It is the instrument for us to receive love, to give love and

to experience and feel love.

If you're stuck in your head, I like to say this, all you

have is a mental construct of intimacy and of a relationship.

But when you're in your body, you can actually experience a relationship.

You can experience intimacy, you can experience love.

But of course, if you're in your mind, you can't.

And that is why a lot of people think they fall out of love, but they have

actually just completely lost awareness of their inner world, of their heart,

of the intimate nature of being with another person, being involved with them,

physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We lose awareness of our body, of our deepest internal world.

I also like to say the body is the truth, of course, unless it's

hijacked by the shadow, but that's another topic for another time.

Now, there's a saying that goes also one of the other reasons why

this myth exists, there is a saying that says, monkey see, monkey do.

And this is what we do.

This is what we do in relationships.

We see 90, well I don't want to say 99% of the time because that's of course

not the accurate statistic of that.

But what I mean by that is mostly around us we see dysfunctional relationships.

And if you don't see that, then you're one of the few.

And that's amazing because that gives you such a jumpstart into this.

Being able to do this.

But the norm is that most of what we see around us is dysfunctional.

And a deep universal truth is that I've come across, and this is something that

I've meditated a lot about and, and found a lot about into, we humans, if

we don't see something being modelled, we have difficulties to believe

it and difficulties to create it.

So this is our challenge, and this is my challenge to you.

You who are, who is invested in this work, you need to be the role model.

You need to be the one that ventures into uncertainty, that carves

the path for others to follow.

That is my intention for you, because you won't see a lot of people who

are going to mirror you that work.

You won't see a lot of unions, a sacred union where both have realized

themselves to a degree where all they experience is an ever deepening of

love, intimacy, polarity, trust, and safety doesn't mean they're perfect.

Even the most to awaken people experienced arguments, experience,

tension, experience friction, because two different minds collide, cultural

beliefs, different beliefs, different upbringing, blah, blah, all of that stuff.

But what I'm saying is, well, you're not getting that often.

You don't see that often.

And then we have difficulties to believe it.

But what I'm seeing is you have to trust something deeper.

You don't have to see it around you.

You just have to feel this yearning in your heart.

Another truth is the longer you are in a relationship.

The deeper, the love should be.

Now I'm careful with my language here.

We shouldn't talk in this should be this way because that's very

guilting and shaming kind of language.

You should be feeling this, aw you're a bad, you're not fit.

No, this is not what I mean by that.

But what I'm meaning is that when both are putting in the effort and

are going all the way, then they have the ability they can experience,

and this is what is meant for us.

This is what the universe intends for us, an ever deepening of love,

passion, intimacy, and polarity.

Our relationship at the deepest level is meant to become the

evolution of consciousness.

Consciousness is always evolving, is always deepening or expanding

is a better word, potentially.

And your relationship, if you want to be in highest alignment, if

you want to experience a deepest love, passion, intimacy, well,

you have to evolve together.

And when you do that, you become almost so to speak the evolution or the embodiment

of the highest universal purpose.

And that is an incredible feeling.

It's beyond a feeling, and this is exactly why we're doing the work.

So in the end, as you see here, you're seeing that I'm pointing

to work something deeper.

This is not just about experiencing deeper love and intimacy.

This is intertwined with your awakening journey, with your healing journey.

And I'm going to teach more about all of these things, how you can access

the deepest truth of your body, can access the infinite possibilities

of creating love, intimacy, evoking, the deepest love in each moment with

your energy in my Polarity program.

Our next round is starting on the 22nd of May.

2022.

This is our most exclusive program, for live calls, embodiment practices,

written modules, and a small group of like-minded and powerful seekers.

And this is where your masculine or feminine identified,

or a single or a couple.

I'll show you step-by-step how you can experience and create the deepest,

polarity and intimacy humanly possible.

Evoke the deepest love available to you in each moment.

We've just opened the doors.

You can head over to lorinkrenn.com or click on the show notes and click

on the first link to learn more and to apply if it aligns with you.

Now, what do you need to do in order to make sure that this myth, that

relationship become boring, which ultimately just means that we're stuck in

our shadow, stuck in our habitual patterns of suffering shutdown, withdrawal.

What do we need to do in order to make sure this doesn't happen, in order to make

our deepest heart yearning our reality?

Now the first step is that you need to look at your relationship in an

entirely different way or your future relationship or your intimate life.

You need to step out of the stories and limiting beliefs

you carry with you, right?

Because when you are, and it's so important, listen carefully here, if

you have that limiting belief and story in your head, well, my partner is going

to leave me anyway and I'm unlovable and the deeper we get together, the

more they will realize I'm bad, you are in that moment when you're stuck in a

story, cut off from the possibility of creating and evoking deep intimacy and

creating deep connection in that moment.

It sounds so simple but it isn't, because our stories, our suffering,

our identifications are so strong.

So the practice I'm going to give you here is the following.

Interrupt the habitual patterns, interrupt the routine, right?

Press your partner against you and kiss them passionately or whisper

in their ear what you're going to do with them in the bedroom.

Hug them, massage them, tell them a poem, whatever feels as your authentic

truth interrupt the habitual patterns that habitual routine, the habitual

patterns of shutdown, closing your heart, disconnecting, arguing, punishing your

partner subconsciously for not meeting your childhood needs or not giving you

validation, whereas our first practice is before we ask for a need to be met, to

find out, okay, where are we coming from?

Are we meeting these needs inside ourselves?

Because paradoxically, when we meet and give ourselves that validation and love

and compassion, our partner mirrors that.

Because what we create in our internal world is reflected

from our external world.

Now, of course you have to get your needs met, and this is not always the

case, but very often it is the case.

Another topic for another time, I'm going astray here, because there are so many

deep and beautiful things to go into.

But the practice I'm going to give you here, interrupt the habitual

patterns, and you won't believe how fucking powerful this is.

This is life-changing.

But be aware, it's so simple.

It takes one second.

Literally it takes one second to create the intimacy, but your shadow

or your patterns or your suffering or your trauma stand in the way.

Interrupt it.

Interrupt it.

Press your partner against you.

Suddenly tell them how much you love them.

Tell them three things you're grateful about in the relationship.

Tell them free things you appreciated about them.

Tell them how much you enjoy it and waking up that morning with them.

And the more you do this, the more you naturally start to just do this.

And also all these things build momentum, and this is so important.

They build what I call the momentum of polarity, the momentum of deep intimacy.

And guess to what that leads?

It leads to the most ecstatic sex.

It leads to eventually you both being erupted and overflowed with the yearning

to ravish each other, to get as close as possible to each other's hearts and soul.

It really is Ted simple.

It's simple, but it's not easy.

You have to build this momentum.

And this momentum either works for you or against you.

And if it works for you, then it's just going to invite this container,

this co-created energy field you're creating is obviously just going to

invite more intimacy, more trust, more safety, more polarity, more passion.

But if that momentum works against you and all your experiences is

habitual patterns of closing, arguing, tension, shutting down, punishing your

partner for not meeting your needs that are very high chance you are

not meeting inside yourself as well, then the momentum works against you.

And then what you experienced is not ecstatic ex, sex is not deep intimacy,

but you experience more closure.

As I mentioned in the way of all of these are your traumas, your conditioning,

your pain, or your limiting beliefs.

That's why it's so challenging.

But just because it's challenging doesn't mean it's not possible.

It is possible and it is meant to be challenging because that challenge

is meant to open our heart deeper.

That challenge is meant for us to open deeper, to awaken, to heal, to commit

and devote ourselves wholeheartedly, soulheartedly to this work.

Because it truly is the most sacred and most important work there is.

Fuck, I missed the podcasting.

How long has it been, a year?

I don't know exactly?

Eight moms or maybe even longer.

My God, I miss the podcasting.

It just feels amazing.

This is raw.

This is deep.

In my programs obviously, and workshops, and often that I go much deeper

because there are provide the entire framework, the practices and all of it.

That's the next level.

But here in the podcasts from all my social medias and free content,

that's where I go the deepest, so I thank you for listening to the end.

I think you for being here, I thank you for opening your heart

and being devoted to this work.

And I invite you to just commit and devote yourself even deeper because

then your life becomes limitless.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

Please share this with someone who needs to hear this.

And if you want to learn more about what I talked specifically today, then

I invited or click on the notes or head over to lorinkrenn.com, and check out our

Polarity program, to learn more about it.

And if it aligns, to apply.

We look forward to receiving your application.

Thank you for being here and until next time.