“I felt like a pair of scissors that was split in half and you just couldn't do anything… every single decision, every single part of your life is intertwined with Alan. And then to not have that, I just felt completely lost.”
What does it mean to become a widow at 31?
In this deeply raw episode of Speaking of Suicide, Lisa shares what life has looked like since her husband Alan died by suicide in March 2023. There was no note. No warning signs. No final conversation to explain why.
Left to raise their three young children alone, Lisa was suddenly navigating single parenthood, suicide bereavement, complex PTSD, intrusive thoughts, and the stigma of being a young widow, all while grieving the love of her life.
From the moment police knocked on her door to the fog of the first year, Lisa speaks candidly about anger, numbness, guilt, loneliness and the unanswered questions that never go away. She opens up about how grief showed up in her body, her parenting, and her identity — and how peer support, counselling, and creating The Widow Diaries on Instgram and Tik Tok have helped her slowly rebuild a life she never imagined living.
Topics covered in this episode:
- Young widow grief
- Losing a spouse to suicide
- Parenting after suicide
- Suicide bereavement support
- Complex PTSD after traumatic loss
- Intrusive thoughts and grief
- The stigma around suicide
- Peer support and widow communities
- Social media as a force for healing
Follow Lisa online: https://linktr.ee/the_widowdiaries
If you need someone to talk to, you can text Mikeysline on 07786 20 77 55 or contact via messenger, webchat or X. Sun-Thurs 6pm-10pm & Fri-Sat 6pm-11pm.
Or come and visit at 4 Strothers Lane, Inverness IV1 1LR, Sun-Thurs 6pm-10pm & Fri-Sat 6pm-11pm.
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Speaking of Suicide hosting is supported by D and D Paving Ltd.
Speaking of Suicide is produced and presented by Adventurous Audio in Scotland
