Artwork for podcast Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending
Your Results BFF
Episode 12910th October 2022 • Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending • Kelly Mobeck
00:00:00 00:26:29

Share Episode

Shownotes

Do you ever wonder why some people are great at creating the results they want in their life?  Do you think they must know something you don’t? What they have is ownership for their lives and what they are creating and what they are not creating.  It’s a superpower, secret sauce, best practice, and available to anyone who wants it. It’s called accountability and your results BFF. Today we are going to uncover this mystery. Let’s go!!

 

Here are the highlights from this episode:

(02:44) We cannot talk about this enough!

(06:16) Did it work?

(10:27) Slow your roll

(13:21) The reason we avoid accountability

(18:10) Stay in your moment

(21:03) Declare your intents

As mentioned in this episode:

Share your Curiosity Challenges, learnings, and any questions here!

What’s NEW?

Join our UpLIFT(her) Circle - A community that supports you in taking the lead in your life and getting clear on what matters most to you.

 

Ready to Make “Someday” Today?!

The LIFT(her) 12 month Group Coaching for Women is for you!  CLICK HERE to check it out for the BEST year with amazing women creating exactly what they want in their careers & relationships using the four pillars of The LIFT Method Email us here.

 

Let us know about any questions you have and what you would love to hear more about. We are happy to help and will take these on in future episodes.

Connect with Coach Kelly and for more resources please visit: www.kellyjmobeck.com 

Let’s Get Social, follow Coach Kelly:

@KellyMobeck on LinkedIn

@KellyMobeck on Instagram


If you enjoyed this episode please share it with a friend, and it would mean so much if you could take a quick moment to write a REVIEW  on Apple Podcasts.

This Podcast Proudly Produced by the Podcast Boutique: www.thepodcastboutique.com

Transcripts

Hey everyone. I'm Kelly Mok, a coach and a leadership trainer, and I'm super passionate about helping you find out who you are authentically as a leader, own it, and go out and make an impact in your life and the lives of others. This world needs your leadership, your gifts. You're unique, brilliance, and I believe that real leaders don't wait.

They create, I know firsthand that life is gonna throw us curve. That we're gonna doubt our greatness, our ideas, and our contributions. And my goal is that you believe in yourself beyond reason. And I get to be a coach and a champion for you each week so that you feel inspired, motivated, and most important in action toward your unique impact in this world.

this second week in October,:

and strong is whatever strong means to you, to them. That's, that's, that's the jam. Okay. And, um, I love to revisit that one at the beginning of October because it's such a great time to really take that inventory and look at. Where did you start out at the beginning of the year, and what have you created as you've moved through?

Anything you wanna let go of? Anything that you want to add more of? And the most important? The most important is what am I learning? What am I learning? Truly getting the results that we want in our life when we're taking the lead. Yes. Ooh, that feels so good. Absolutely. And often we forget that it's also about what am I learning along the way?

What am I learning along the way? And so, I trust that last week's episode, which yes, is a revisit. And I'll tell you what, we'll probably revisit it every single fourth quarter finale as well as a halftime huddle up because it's super important to take stock, to check out, to measure, and to really see what's working, what's not working, and what we're learning along the way.

So I trust that you got great value from revisiting. Okay, so today what we are going to talk about is something that I think is probably one of my most favorite tools and sometimes the most challenging tool. And since this month is all about being in owner. Ownership for our life, which encompasses personal, encompasses professional.

I cannot help myself but to talk about accountability, like we can't talk about it enough. And truly, Accountability is your BFF to. Really creating those shifts that you want in your life. It just is. Now you heard me say one of my most favorite and sometimes one of the most challenging, and I think because.

It is all about getting in ownership. Getting in ownership. Now we are in ownership for a lot of things in our life, and sometimes that can feel like, right, and sometimes we wanna create a shift, but we're not really in ownership for what's actually happen. We're just not, and we don't, we don't, we don't check it out.

Okay? And then it's so much easier to let it fester and, and bubble up and grow and, and not in the way that we want it to. And so the reason that I say accountability is your BFF was because accountability is not blame fault, Shame, guilt. You're bad. You did it wrong. None of that. Accountability is literally one of the most powerful tools to help you be in ownership because it is about ownership.

Period done. And I think that, you know, society, there's so many times there's like fingers point, who's gonna be accountable? Who's to blame? Who's taking the heat for this one? Someone's going down. No, no, no, no, no, no. Accountability is about ownership 100%. And it is the ability to account for our choices that we're making and have.

Okay. We make choices every single day, all day long. All right. And so the beauty about this tool called accountability is that it is both a learning tool and a creation tool. Stay with me here. So as a learning tool, I can set out and I have goals and outcomes and visions and things that I wanna accomplish, whatever that is.

Okay. And. I can measure where I am by having accountability in front of me at all times. Okay. I mean like on the daily and the weekly, and we're gonna get into that. Okay. If you're listening to this podcast, Here's my, here's my very strong guess, , is that you are taking the lead in your life. And so that means probably every week you are setting out to create something.

Every month you're setting out to create something. Every year you're setting out to create something and. That. That's probably who. That's probably exactly what's happening. And if you're not, it's okay. Keep listening. Stay here because there's so much goodness in this podcast to help you be and do just that.

Okay? So it's a learning tool because we can say, Okay, I set out to batch for podcasts. I set out to batch for podcast. This week, I'm just using podcasts as an example. There's a million things you can use an example, health, money, relationships go on and on and on. Okay, So if I've set out to batch for podcasts this week, right?

The reason that it's a learning tool is because I can look back at the choices that I made to see what worked and what didn't. In where I landed with batching the podcast. Okay, So if I have a goal to patch four episodes in one week, and I landed at four. I can look and see what worked. I can look and see how I set myself up for success.

I can look and see what were the choices, what were the disciplines, what did I have in place that really helped me land it. Stick the landing as you will. Okay? And if I didn't hit it, whether it was 3, 2, 1, or none, 3, 2, 1, or none, I can do the same thing and I can look and say, okay. What didn't work?

What didn't work? I love these questions. What worked, what didn't work? Because they're so neutral. It simply has you look. It simply has you look. And then if I didn't hit it, I might look and say, What got in the way? What got in the way of me not hitting it? Okay. Uh, did I not allow for curve balls in the week?

Did I not stay true to content creation day? And, uh, did I allow something else to come in? Was that in alignment with my purpose and, and, and in my values and my outcomes? Right? Neutral questions, not questions where it's like, Oh, yeah. Okay, you're bad. You didn't get it done right. It's not that. It's not that.

It's the ability to account for choices. Look at what works, look at what doesn't work, and see if there's any patterns. See if there are any patterns, and I will tell you. It is life changing because if you're willing to stop, if you're willing to look, you will begin to see patterns that can tell you where you're at with moving forward with the things you say you want.

And listen, there's a lot of things that can get in the way with that. A lot of things, the easiest ones, , are the circumstances, truly cuz circumstances are gonna be around us all the. They're going to be around us all the time. And the minute that you declare that you're going to create something, your circumstances are gonna get louder, brighter, more vivid, all the things, and you can feel like there's no way through.

Okay, but what really that, that can really get in the way are things that are tied to your belief system or some of the tendencies that you might have tendencies to please tendencies to control tendencies to procrastinate tendencies mean. I could go on and on and on. What the magic is here is that you can begin to see it.

You can see the patterns, and if you stay neutral with it, man, you can discover so much and you can decide and make decisions on what you'd want to be different, and then you can begin to put in some practices and some new disciplines to create some new habits. Okay. I think we're in such a rush all the time, oftentimes.

And that it's gotta be like now, now, now, now. Right. Like pump it up now. Now, now . Okay. And that's great for some people. That's great. Some people thrive in that. Like high intense, high impact. Okay, great. And there's people that are like, Slow your role. Moana. Could you slow your role? Let me, let me stop here for a second.

So it's okay. The way in which you move, whether you are the tortoise or the hair, it's okay. Which way you move, at what velocity you move. It's okay. Your a hundred percent is okay. I want you to know that what I want you to check in is seeing, is it working or is it not working? Okay. The biggest thing about accountability and being in ownership is to remove the judge and to remove the comparer.

The one that's like, but over, but, but you know what, I was, I was watching this YouTube, or I was reading a book, or I was listening to a podcast and it was like, you've got to, and then fill in the blank, and that's the way you create. My friends, the way that you create your success is owning the way in which it works for you, creating your secret sauce, okay?

Creating your secret sauce. There is not one size fits all. Listen, I have bought one size fits all dresses and t-shirts and coverups, and that is a lie. One size does not fit all. So guess what? In the matter of being human, one size does not fit all. I think going ahead and, you know, reading the books, listening the podcast, watching the videos, working with people that can help you.

Yes. Do it. It's information we're learning, we're growing, and your accountability is to find out the way in which it works for you and go from there. See, what I know as a coach is I do not have anybody's answers. I literally can't tell them the way to do it. I can co-create practices. I can share practices, and I, and I do, I do this on the podcast.

Here's what I can't do. I can't do your. I can't declare something for you. I can't be accountable for you. I can hold you accountable. I can't be accountable for you. So the secret sauce, in order for us to move forward and create those successes is to be accountable, which means be in ownership. Ah, it's fascinating.

And here's where I really want what this is. What I really want y'all to hear too, is this, do not make yourself wrong about what your results are and what you are learning. That is gonna be a surefire way that will stop you in your tracks. It is why we avoid accountability. Also, please be accountable for the things that you are creating and the successes that you're creating because how cool is it to find patterns that work for you?

Ha. Now we're in some creation tools. Okay? So it is a learning and a creation tool, and I cannot think of one that can really support you in taking the lead in your life. I can't think of one that's any better than accountability and ownership. Now, having said that, I wish I could tell you that I do this 110% consistently.

I am human. I do. It's, It's why I'm sharing this with you. Okay? But the thing is, is at any moment it can be picked up again. Any moment we can pick it up again. What I will share with you is when I am staying accountable in my life and I'm really looking. It. It's my momentum is there. My momentum is like, Woo.

Here we go. I am ebbing and flowing like nobody's business. Okay? I'm staying in harmony in my life, and I'm creating much more of the results that I say I want. When I drop it for a little bit, I get stuck. That's the truth. And here's the truth. I'm gonna drop it on occasion. I'm gonna drop it on on occasion, however, That's all right.

Pick it back up. Pick it back up. Okay. So let's take this from some excellent conversation to having it be practical for you. So here's a simple way to use this, and I will continue and bring more in about accountability with all of you as we keep moving through taking the lead in our lives together.

And I wanna leave you today with something that's really. And it goes like this. So I'm a leader in my life. I have got to know what my aspirations are. I've gotta know what my goals are, and I've gotta really be in ownership. This is, this is something super interesting. Try this on for a minute. If I'm accountable for my life 20 years from.

If I'm accountable for my life 20 years from now, and by the way, it would be a good idea, right, to be accountable for our life 20 years from now. Actually, it would be a good thing to commit to, not an idea, haha, a thing to commit to. Where am I at? Where am I? Like if I'm accountable, Like where is it that I see myself 20 years from now?

And I, some people take this on, some people don't. It's okay. Stop and be with me here for a minute. If I'm accountable for my life 20 years from now, I'm gonna tell you right now, 20 years from now, I'm gonna be 75. 75, okay? And so then I say to myself, Whoa, I don't know that I've thought about that before.

Okay, So if I'm accountable for myself, 75 years, 75 years from now, hello, 20 years from now, I'm 75, what's happening in my life at 70? Okay. Uh, if you're 30, what's happening in your life at 50? If you're 20, what's happening for your life at 40? Okay. If you're a teenager, what's hap like looking and seeing what's happening?

Visioning that. Like what, what, what am I up to? Who am I being? What am I doing? What do I have in my life? And that might suggest that you're looking at what's my. What's my relationship with my finances? Relationship with significant others, family, kids, grandkids, friends. Am I traveling? What's happen? Am I still working?

What's happening? Okay. 25 years from, you gotta know what your aspirations are, you gotta know what your goals are, and I love that. Like when I really sat down and was looking 20 years from now at 75, as I'm 55 right now, looking 75, 20 years from now, I'm like, Wow. Okay. Okay. Was eye opening because it had me really look at all the areas of my life and say, Okay, what am I gonna choose today that is absolutely going to support that vision.

20 years from now, because I certainly am certain that at 74, if I'm looking at 75 and I haven't put some things into place, it's gonna look different. We would look different with health, it would look different with finance, it would look different in relationships, it just would. So it's a great idea. I say stay in your moment.

Stay in the moment, and it's okay to look ahead. In fact, it's very responsible to look. And begin to plan for that. And so if you're doing it from a place of accountability, hello. That's why it's superpower because you know what your aspirations are, you know the goals you have for yourself, and you get to decide, you get to be an ownership for that, okay?

So you can stay curious and impossibility and in learning and in growth. That's the beauty of this. Okay. Staying curious, stay learning, stay in growth, and then you can every, I love to do this every week. When I do this every week. Truly, truly, I move forward. If I do this every month, I move forward. If I do this every year, I move forward.

The thing is, is not to just pick one of. To do this annually, to do this quarterly, to do this monthly, and to do this weekly. You're gonna be doing it at at different levels, but it's gonna keep you moving forward. Also, you know, I'm a big fan of having accountability partners have them because they're there to support you.

They're there to, for you to lean in. And to support you, and it's a beautiful thing. Okay? It's a beautiful thing. It's also a beautiful thing when you tell people and you put your butt on the line and, and you declare it out there. Like, Here's what I'm really up to. And now people know. People naturally want to connect, naturally, wanna help.

And isn't that a beautiful thing? Okay, so here's a simple practice. Look at what you want and you pick 20 years from now, 10 years from now, five years from now, one year from now, wherever you are in your life, pick something, okay? And take a look and say, where, where, what? What am I seeing? Who am I being?

What am I doing? And what do I. In my life. Okay. And then chunk that back down to what? Chunk it down. That's a coaching term. Chunk it down to what am I doing today? What are the choices I'm making today? Who am I being today? What am I doing? And what do I have today that supports that? Okay. Ask yourself that question.

Get into owner. Right now to take this even simpler on the weekly take a look at, here's what my weekly goals are. Not necessarily my to-dos, my to-do lists, but literally, what's that thing? What's that one thing that I wanna create that's gonna move my business forward, that's gonna move my health goals forward, that's gonna move my relationships forward, that's gonna move my finances forward?

What's that one thing that I get to create this? Declare it. Declare it. Put your butt on the line and declare it. Okay? And then ask yourself, What are the choices that I will make this week to move it forward? And then at the end of the week, do an evaluation. And an evaluation goes like this, Okay, here's the end of the week.

What happened? Did I hit it? Did I. What happened? Okay. And look at it really neutrally again, do not bring the judge in. No room. No, no room. , no room for the judge here. No room. Look at it neutrally. And how do you look at things neutrally? Simply two questions. What did I create? Okay, did I hit it? Did I miss it?

What worked and what didn't work? What patterns am I beginning to. and what is my new plan? Okay, what's my new plan? Now, if you hit it, I would say, All right, what can I acknowledge in that? What can I celebrate in that? What am I gonna take from the patterns that worked and move that forward into the next week?

All? And if you didn't hit it, really looking at what didn't. Right, And, and then I'm gonna suggest it's probably in the areas of disciplines and practices that are gonna help you. Okay? But look at the patterns. Look at the patterns, and then declare something new. Don't ever stop declaring. And by the way, when we declare things, it means I will have, I'm gonna go back to the podcast.

I will have batched four podcasts by Friday. Okay. Notice I will, I have, let me, let me do that differently. Hold please. Let's do that different. I have batched for podcasts by Friday. Okay. Simple. I have, I'm saying it in, in, in a way that it's already a done deal. There's a buy when and how I'm gonna know that's happening is cuz come Friday, will there be four?

Will there be three? Will there be two? Will there be one? Will there be none? Okay. Remember, like I talked about at the top, so when the weekends do the evaluation, what was the result? What worked, What didn't work? Any patterns that I'm noticing, What can I carry forward? What might I change? And then declare again and.

And keep going. Okay. So declarations just change our relationship with something. That's what they do. Okay? So in, in other words, if I use the case of the podcast, say I haven't re recorded any for the month of November, uh, that's gonna change my relationship. If I say I will have four podcasts, I not, I will have, I have recorded for podcast.

I have, It's so easy to go into. I will have so easy. No, you can hear me. Do it live right now. And really where you wanna be much more in ownership is like it's a done deal. I have recorded four podcasts by Friday. Okay. I will have, It's a little squeaky, but that's a whole other episode. Okay. That's the plan.

That's what I'm dropping in, dropping it in like it's hot. Let's be accountable together. Remember, you have a choice to lead your life or follow your circumstances. Life is about knowing your passions, your purpose, your values in creating that impact in your life and the life of others and are superpower.

One of our BFFs, a really great power tool is accountability. Being an ownership for what it is we say we want. Also what it is we say we don't want, Honestly, let's be honest, before we start pretending. So let's be accountable and let's look at where we are neutrally and let's create some shifts to support us in staying in that momentum and slaying those goals cuz we said.

All right. It's not always gonna look the way we think it's supposed to. Truly more always gets revealed. Let go of that worry. Let go of that doubt and live fully into the best version of yourself. Thank you for listening today. I'm. Super excited to find out how Accountability's working for you, so drop that into the Curiosity Challenges.

Link in the show descriptions and let me know what's happening in your life. Have a great week ahead, and if it's not shaping up the way you want it to, Take the lead and create a fantastic one. I'll talk with you next week. Have fun. Thanks for listening to another episode of, Let's Be Honest, Before we start pretending for more resources on taking the lead in your life, head over to kelly j mok.com and connect with me on Instagram at Coach Kelly mok.

If this episode was helpful for you, please feel free to share it with friends. Rate and review it on iTunes. That's Apple Podcasts now, and at any time, feel free to connect with me and let me know what you want to hear next or what you're working on. I'm happy to help. Thanks again for listening, and here's to you taking the lead in your life.

Follow

Links