Bama's heading to cousin Dale Wayne's arraignment — and yep, she's bringing Arby's like it's a picnic at the courthouse. I try to keep up as she brag-complains about still rocking tube tops (which she calls "compression bandages") and compares herself to an 84-year-old Indiana Jones. She also casually admits to doing all the shots — vaccines, mystery syringes, whatever — and sends "medical imaging" pics when the mood strikes. I mostly sit back, laugh, and resist asking too many follow-ups because some stories are best experienced live. Buckle up: it’s classic Bama chaos, full of questionable fashion, questionable logic, and absolutely no shortage of confidence.
Takeaways:
I told Haystack I'm still wearing tube tops, calling them compression bandages, and owning it.
We joked about Harrison Ford doing Indiana Jones at 84 and I said age ain't no excuse.
I admitted I get every shot offered, sometimes without asking, and I trust the process like it's gospel.
I mentioned sending 'medical imaging'—aka nudie pics—and Haystack walked face-first into that one, bless him.
We ended with my promise to bring cousin Dale Wayne Arby's to his arraignment again, 'cause apparently courthouse appetite is real.
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker A:
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:
It's pretty much my favorite time of the week when we chat with my dear old friend Bama down in rural Alabama.
Speaker A:
Bama joins us on the phone now.
Speaker A:
And Bama, did you see where Harrison Ford is apparently going to be Indiana Jones again at 84 years old?
Speaker B:
Oh, hey, Stack.
Speaker B:
I did see that and I am all about it.
Speaker B:
I love anybody doing crap everybody else says that they're too old to do.
Speaker A:
Yeah, I had a feeling you were gonna identify with this.
Speaker B:
Well, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:
I mean, I'm still wearing tube tops.
Speaker A:
Now, Bama, are you sure you should be?
Speaker B:
Well, you know, at my age, it's less of a tube top and more of a compression bandage, but I'm still getting it all in.
Speaker A:
Okay, that's.
Speaker A:
That's inspiring in a way.
Speaker B:
Yeah, and I'm still doing shots too.
Speaker A:
Oh, I know you are,.
Speaker B:
T. Shots.
Speaker B:
12 Shots.
Speaker B:
Shingles shots.
Speaker B:
I do them all.
Speaker B:
Sometimes I don't even know what's in the syringe.
Speaker B:
I just roll up my sleeve and I trust the process.
Speaker A:
Now, Bama, you should be asking questions before people just inject you with things, I would think.
Speaker B:
Oh, just remember, age is a number, Haystack.
Speaker B:
I still send them nudie dirty pics too,.
Speaker A:
Bama.
Speaker B:
Well, they're just considered medical imaging now.
Speaker A:
Oh, I guess I walked into that one.
Speaker B:
I'm just saying, if Harrison Ford can still run around with a whip at 84, I could still make questionable decisions in a tube top.
Speaker A:
I don't think those are exactly the same.
Speaker B:
Well, sure they are.
Speaker B:
He's just got a bigger production budget.
Speaker A:
Okay, that's a fair point.
Speaker A:
So what's on the schedule today for you?
Speaker B:
Well, I needs to go.
Speaker B:
My cousin Dale Wayne's a gettin arraigned again and I promised I'd bring him some Arby's.
Speaker A:
Again?
Speaker B:
Yeah, he got the punch card at the courthouse.
Speaker B:
Now.
Speaker A:
I'm.
Speaker B:
Pretty sure they go Sugar Lim Beef and Cheddar's ain't gonna del deliver themselves.
