hey you,

Happy to have you here

How kind are you with yourself ?

How do you care about yourself?

Are you harsh with yourself?

Is your inner critic constantly present?

Go back in time and see how you learnt what love is.

Was it unconditional love or conditional love?

let's have a look at it :)

with love 

aurora

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

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Unknown: 00:00:13

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I mean, Mr. Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today, it's just going to be 10

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minutes, 11 minutes that you can use to rest and relax, unwind

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from a busy day from an busy mind. And just come back to

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yourself.

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Today I want to talk about conditional love. I

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think we all know what unconditional love is. And we

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also know what conditional love is not because of reading about

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it, but because of loving it.

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Especially the ladies out there. But of course, the gentleman

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listening here can maybe relate or maybe you're not aware of it

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yet, that you have

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a lot of conditions, a lot of expectations, a lot of harsh

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thoughts, when it comes to you. And the way you live the way you

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look the way you feel.

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Let's take an example.

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A girl who wants to lose weight,

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and she looks into the mirror and just sees that her pants are

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not fitting anymore. And in her mind, she compares herself to

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the other ladies out there

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and decides to start a diet. And she started said with a harsh

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comment, like you look fat, you will never be successful.

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You are a failure. You have no discipline, blah, blah, blah,

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and she will use that to lose weight. Why is she going to be

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exist? Sorry. So you're going to be successful?

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Chances are if she beats herself up on a regular, she can be

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successful was it is that sustainable and healthy and? And

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good the way she approaches it? Well, from an outsider's

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perspective, of course not if she was to approach it from a

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self love point of view, and just seeing that she could lose

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a little more weight, but to be healthier to live

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in a more healthier space, then approaching her diet in the

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future would come from a place of love instead of guilt and

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punishment and shame. Because if we approach something with

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conditional love, what happens if we fail? What happens if the

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other person disappoints us, while we are only left with huge

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disappointment and having to punish or regret or anything, if

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we approach it with the heart, then we can be more forgiving.

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And if we are more forgiving, things are long lasting and

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meant for us in the future.

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Have a look at the guy who looks into the mirror and sees

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perfection. His hair is awesome. He is reaching all the goals

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that he's setting himself.

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And

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he can be described as a very successful man.

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But is he happy? Most of those men are not happy. They focus so

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much on being perfect and accomplishing that they have a

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hard time relating to their partners and being compassionate

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and loving them unconditionally. And why is that? Because they

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don't love themselves unconditionally. And if you

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don't love and accept yourself unconditionally, well, how can

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you do that for another person? And isn't not what we're all

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craving. We're all craving to be accepted and seen as who we are.

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We don't want to be with a partner who as soon as we gain a

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little bit of weight or as soon as we lose our job looks down on

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us and makes us feel like a failure. If we feel like a

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failure

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Already, we want a partner who can see that, we will dig

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ourselves out of that dirty hole and just continue being awesome.

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We want our partner to have faith. But if that partner if

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that person is looking into the mirror in the morning and just

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sees perfection, doesn't

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look into his eyes and can see pain and regret, and mistakes,

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and happiness and contentment and appreciation, if he doesn't

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see all that, if all he sees is perfection, then he will surely

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expect that from the outside world. And he will just live in

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huge disappointment because life love especially is not perfect.

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There is no perfection anywhere on planet Earth, except if we

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created artificially, and then it's very hard to maintain and

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very exhausting for all participants.

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Let's look at the guy who wants to stop smoking.

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You

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deeply reflect about yourself, and you find out that you're

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smoking and you're not really doing it anymore. out of passion

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for the taste.

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You do it out of a habit and you're kind of in that habit and

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you hate yourself. Every time you let that cigarette?

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Well, resentment is not going to bring you far. And to say that

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you're only going to start loving and accepting yourself

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once you stop smoking, it's also not gonna help you further in

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that quest. So how can you approach it if you want to stop

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smoking? That guy wants to give up that habit that is so costly?

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And also, yeah, not good for a south? What? First of all, he

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can maybe dig a little deeper and find out why he needs that

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habit. What does it that he would miss

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if he was to stop that habit.

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And then he can see that he's awesome the way he is. But his

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body would be so much healthier in a better place and

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all that jazz if he was to quit. So if he reaches a point where

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he can have compassion for his body, again, and he can see that

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he's not doing it out of

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enjoyment,

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the cigarette smoking, but because of laziness and habit,

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then you can

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move yourself out of that addiction way easier than if you

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approach it with contempt, and harshness and punishment.

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Because you might fall back and then you shouldn't just fall

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back and say, Well, I'm just a failure anyways, you can fall

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back and say, hey, yeah, it is hard to quit. But I want to do

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this for myself, I want to show up for myself and stop that

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habit that is harming myself. So those three little stories are

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just a few examples of conditional love. And I hope you

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can see that. As soon as we give up. Being conditional with

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ourselves, we're also more forgiving and loving with

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others. And some people are very good at being loving and

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accepting of others, but are very harsh on themselves. While

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that episode is for you, and the people who try to live in

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perfection, and can only see

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themselves lovable, if they are perfect if they are

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accomplishing at least one goal every day, say look perfect, say

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eat the perfect food, say exercise the perfect, awesome

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sport. Then I lost my train of thought.

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But I know you followed and you know exactly what I mean. All

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those people that I described has to start loving and

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accepting themselves. And then they will also feel richer in

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their relationships and

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expect less from their past partners and be more

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compassionate and understanding. And if it comes to change, you

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can help your partner as well.

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to approach it from a space of love instead of harsh, mind

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driven approaches.

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode about

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conditional love. Maybe you have a conditional lover and your

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life and you can make them aware of it. Maybe not. And maybe it

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is yourself who can become a little more aware that you don't

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need to be harsh with yourself and beat yourself up in order to

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be good out there in order to love yourself. Thank you so much

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for listening to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora, and I'll be out there for you tomorrow again. Thank

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you