How well do we really understand our teenagers and how can we stay connected to them as they begin to work out who they are and where they fit in the world?

This week, we’re joined by Tony Griffin, author of The Teenager’s Book of Life, a book written for teenagers rather than their parents. Tony tells us why he wanted to speak directly to young people, how his own teenage experiences shaped his work and what he has learnt from years of conversations with teenagers about the questions they really want answered.

We talk about emotions, friendships, identity, body image, education, social media, mental health and the sometimes difficult balance between supporting our teenagers and trying to control the direction they take.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why Tony chose to write a book for teenagers, rather than another book telling parents how to raise them.
• Tony’s own experiences as a teenager and how he came to work with young people.
• Teenagers and emotions, including the isolation some boys experience and the impact of social media and reduced face-to-face interaction.
• Helping teenagers discover who they are - and why many of us are still working that out as adults!
• Whether education often places too much emphasis on academic achievement and not enough on preparing young people for life.
• Teenage brain development, risk-taking and some of the particular challenges facing boys.
• The pressures teenagers experience around school, education, achievement and expectations.
• Tony’s observation that we can sometimes under-parent in the online world while over-parenting in the real world.
• The pressures of parenting, our desire to conform and the tendency to see our children as a reflection of ourselves.
• Practical ways to accept our teenagers for who they are - while also looking at who we are as parents.
• Why teenagers need to find their tribe, what happens when we worry they have found the wrong one, and why curiosity can be more helpful than control.
• Moving towards connection over control and having conversations about what your teenager enjoys, what they are good at and what they imagine their future might look like.
• Encouraging interests and ambitions while recognising the importance of commitment, practice and hard work.
• Body image, belonging and peer acceptance - and how Tony encourages young people to understand and challenge their inner critic, rather than focusing solely on their body. Why conversations about that critical voice in our heads need to become more normal.
• VENT — Tony’s practical strategy for responding when your teenager comes to you with a problem or overwhelming emotions: Validate, Empathise, Normalise and Transform.
• Teenage friendships, how boys and girls may navigate them differently and the reassurance that sometimes your closest friends are still out there waiting to be found.

A really interesting conversation about understanding the person behind the teenager, staying curious and connected, and supporting them as they begin to find their own way.

Find out more

Tony’s book, The Teenager’s Book of Life, is available from:

Teenager’s Book of Life

From 15 October 2026 it will also be available in bookshops across the UK.

Follow Bespoke Family:

Instagram: @bespokefamily

Facebook: @bespokefamily

Read our blogs on tweens and teens:

Blogs for Tweens and Teens

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation, click here.

Explore our downloadable ‘Your Guide to…’ webinars, covering topics including preparing for and welcoming your newborn, behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more:

‘Your Guide to…’

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative.