Ian Hawkins 0:02
Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.
When you want to change, there is an underlying fear of that change. Part of what also makes us human but that humans have this tendency, see unknown? What's on the other side of that. And then people say, Oh, don't get held back by fear. Well, everyone has an element of fear. We're running as at our absolute essence, we're running two things. We're either running love or running fear response. So when we want to change can be scary. And there is fear. So how do we overcome it the best advice I can pass on some Mollard from the great Les Brown is you have to have reasons. Reasons that are greater than your fear. Reasons will give you staying power reasons will give you combat power. They'll allow you to move forward even the most toughest, toughest times. But there has to be powerful reasons that are bigger than your fears. And he talked about how for him, he had been adopted by his mother, not his birth mother. And they'd struggled financially all through a number of adopted children. So his reason why as he was getting older was he wanted to be able to provide for his mother, this mother that had adopted him and provided him so much in life, a chance at life. He wouldn't be able to give back, he wanted to have every resource possible if his mom ever got sick, he wanted to buy his mama house. So he talked about having deeply personal powerful reasons that are more important than your fear. And that really resonated with me. I had fear around change. But I also had already had reasons, I just didn't realize that that's how powerful they were. The reasons were, my dad passed that 64 lifestyle forever. What if I worked all the way up to that time and then died early? Well, my reason was, I want to be make sure I'm giving my health and wellness, the absolute best chance so I can live a long, long life. When I had my first child, there was a real realization that I need to be better. And then when we had our second child, same thing, such a desire to be better for them. So that's a big part of my reason why I want to be to provide every resource possible to give them the best chance at whatever they want to do. I'm gonna be reasons now two, I have powerful motivation to be able to make a difference in the world. So whatever it is for you, it doesn't have to be anything like what I've chosen or anything like what, like I described Les Brown, but it has to be powerful. So my best advice is when you're choosing these reasons why go for things that are obviously deeply personal, like I suggested linked to family, there's an element of contribution, there's an element of growth. And you can also have anything else in there, like maybe there's some material desires that you have, and there's nothing wrong with that. They can't be the only thing but there's nothing wrong with having those. If you want to live in a better place and you're live now, if you want to live in an area where you really want to live. For some people, they are the most powerful reasons. So make them yours if that's what they are. And commit them to paper, at least five of these reasons and read them regularly. Because they will keep you going Knowing that will keep you moving forward. And they'll keep reminding you why you're on this path, why you want to change, and why you have to change. Because you want to be able to impact and provide in these areas that you've written down. You might start thinking about it already thinking about. Hopefully, you've thought about what some of those reasons are for you. And you've, you're having a bit of an uptick in your moods by thinking about them. Now imagine if you read that every day, and the impact that would make to get them down on paper, five reasons, put them somewhere where you will read them set a reminder. And observe the impact. And if they're not having the desired impact, if they're not inspiring you to change inspiring you to be better, then you need bigger reasons, you need more powerful reasons. So you go again, until you find the right formula.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform
