We've all experienced challenges that completely changed how we view the world. Some of these remain a big part of our daily operations, which keeps us helpless and stuck. But while it can be excruciating, we have the power to take control of our lives. With focus, willingness, and action, we can grow and break free from the past experiences that hinder us. And as long as we keep going, we can start building the life we truly want.

Mari Tautimes discusses in this episode how she overcame the life challenges she shared in her book #KeepGoing. She introduces the concept of integration in place of seeking "balance" in our lives. She speaks about the power of accepting the messiness in our lives and overcoming the challenges that come with it. Finally, Mari gives us a glimpse of her definition of success and why it’s not following another successful person's path.

If you want to know how to #keepgoing as a complex individual with a unique story, this episode is for you!

3 Reasons to Listen:

1. Understand why you should accept the messiness in your life.
2. Learn how to break free from being in a place of privileged unconscious incompetence.
3. Discover the danger of following other people’s success journey.

Resources

• Coach: A Story of Success Redefined, a novel by Tim Winders
• EOS Worldwide
• #KeepGoing by Mari Tautimes
• Tony Robbins’ website
• Deep Work by Cal Newport
• The Enneagram Personality Test
• 5 Love Languages
• Traction by Geno Wickman
• DiSC Assessment
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
• Kolbe A™ Index
• The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
• Visit our YouTube channel
• Episode’s full-length episode
• Episode’s short clip

About Mari

Mari Tautimes is a Certified EOS Implementer, author, keynote speaker, trainer,  coach, and entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience. As a Certified EOS Implementer, she teaches business owners and leadership teams how to get everything they want out of their business. She is also the co-owner and serves as a board member in an advisory role in their family business Western Asset Protection.

Mari is the author of the book #KeepGoing, where she talks about her unique and inspiring methods on how to overcome life’s toughest challenges.

You can connect with Mari through her website and LinkedIn.

Episode Highlights

[02:33] Mari’s Passions in Life

• Mari is a Certified EOS Implementer who helps entrepreneurs and leadership teams get traction in their business.
• Her real passion in life is breaking down the confines between business and personal and helping people “be the bison.”
• She loves sharing her story because it allows others to process their lives.

[03:31] “I love sharing my story, not for the sake of sharing my story, but because I know when I share my story that other people are listening autobiographically. So they are processing their own life and their own struggles in this psychological safety of my story.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[04:42] Integration, not Balance

• There’s no such thing as “balance”; instead, there is the integration of all parts of your life.
• The wheel of life allows you to score where you are in life. 
• There will be seasons of life where one thing will be at 0 to 1 for years. That’s because it’s not time to address it yet.
• Having a constant awareness of the seasons of your life allows you to make necessary course adjustments

[06:51] Accepting the Messiness in Our Lives

• All segments of your life are integrated. It’s not good to compartmentalize.
• It’s about accepting the messiness that comes with different parts of our life and having self-compassion.
• Self-compassion is about creating a pause in your day. It comes with responsibility or the ability to control your response.
• Once we become conscious and aware of the messiness in our lives, we can make different decisions.

[12:32] The Challenge for Women

• The roles society has ascribed to women have made the process more challenging for women.
• Not being the same person in each of those roles makes it easier.
• For one, it's harder for women to climb the ladder to the next position.
• Inclusion means accepting people for their whole life and the other roles they have in their lives. However, it can make a woman feel inadequate at work and home.
• Women are naturally terrible delegators. One exercise to address this is to “delegate to elevate.”

[18:31] Being in a Privileged Position

• Being privileged is not even knowing something’s an issue. Many of us have some level of privilege, from our gender, race, etc.
• Many people recognize the system but are not talking or are scared to talk about it.
• Sticking your neck out is difficult, but it’s about raising awareness and having empathy.
• Going from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence is a highly uncomfortable place. But it's a starting point for getting involved.

[23:57] The Story of #KeepGoing

[24:19] “That's the risk, first of all, of writing something so deeply personal and sharing something so deeply personal because people are going to read it from their perspective, from their lenses, their lenses in life.” - Click Here To Tweet This

• Children act out because they seek connection without knowing how to get it.
• Mari got sexually abused at nine years old, which continued until she got counseling at 19. It changed the way she operated in relationships.
• Going through puberty early can cause confusion and a false connection with adults.
• Her brother's death made her feel an urgency to fix her life and create a great life for herself.

[28:14] “I could see other people having really great experiences; I just didn't understand why I didn't deserve that too. But I knew or felt that no one else was going to ever create that for me—I was going to have to create that for myself and figure that out.”  - Click Here To Tweet This

[29:21] The Silver Linings in Her Journey

• Her coping mechanism is envisioning the future. Most visionaries have experienced trauma that they had to imagine a better future to get through it.
• The hard things in our lives are like nuclear energy that can power or destroy a city.
• You don't ever get to get rid of that nuclear energy. But you can use it to create leverage to move forward from time to time.
• There is no checkbox in the journey toward healing from trauma or loss.
• The silver lining lies in turning our experiences into a gift for yourself and the world around you.

[32:44] “Being anything other than grateful is going to shut you down, and it's going to remove you from the realm of possibility. It's going to keep you small, it's going to keep your energy small, and it's going to keep you sick.”  - Click Here To Tweet This

[34:07] The Catalyst for Sharing Her Story with the World

• Whenever she shares any part of her story, it helps other people.
• Mari wants to move on from telling her story because it will not serve her to get to the next level.
• She’s currently working on the next chapter of her story, #StopRunning.
• Writing about something you don’t want to discuss is a cathartic process.
• Vulnerability is efficient. It’s excruciating, but it’s the fastest way out of pain.

[37:28] Mari’s Definition of Success

• She didn’t know the definition of success until the time he heard a question from Tony Robbins. He asked, “How much money would you need to never have to work again?”
• Following others might lead you to follow their path and definition of success.
• Mari defines success as doing the work she loves with the people she loves.
• God’s plan is for her to be an example of love for herself and others.

[41:29] What Mari is Excited About as an EOS Implementer

• She’s excited about continuing her work with EOS, the Entrepreneurial Operating System, based on the book Traction by Gino Wickman.
• EOS implementers help people implement this system of getting traction and staying accountable in their business.
• 450 EOS implementers worldwide work with companies with between 10 to 250 employees.
• She's excited about merging the concepts of leadership and self-development with EOS practices and delivering that talk around the world.
• You will hit ceilings as a business and as an individual. Most of the time, we are unaware we're hitting the ceiling.

[45:26] The Power of Self-Awareness

• Personality assessment and coaching are helpful because they reflect what you're saying to yourself or each other as a team.
• You shouldn’t be a leader if you’re not getting coaching. Otherwise, you’re not elevating.
• You cannot lead unless you are elevating yourself consistently.

[45:53] “If you are a leader, and you're not getting coaching, you probably shouldn't be a leader because there is no way you're elevating.”  - Click Here To Tweet This

[48:14] Tapping into the Human Consciousness

• You will find a way to consume information if you’re hungry enough.
• Reading and listening to podcasts are tapping into the best of human consciousness.
• Mari wants her readers to become aware of their own stories and what they haven't addressed in their lives.
• Changing our natural trajectory requires going back, digging in, and healing stuff in our lives.
• The more we heal, the more love we have. The more love we have, the better we do in the world and the more people we can help.

[52:46] Seek

• Mari is always seeking what’s next on how she can grow, learn, and make something better.

Wrapup 

Our past experiences—good or bad—shape how we think and transform how we view the world.

Mari Tautimes began this episode by sharing her passion—her story to help people process their own lives. She talks about seeking integration in the different aspects of our lives instead of finding balance. She also explains why we should accept the messiness in our lives with self-compassion and responsibility. Only then can we start to make new and better decisions for ourselves.

Then, she shares the story of #KeepGoing and the silver linings she found in healing from her past trauma. There is no checkbox in this journey; the key is to turn your experiences into a gift for yourself and others. Finally, success should come on your terms, not what others say it should be. Only you can define your success.

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To growing and becoming all we are created to be,

Tim