If you have a big or important goal that you want to achieve, then today's episode is going to make a huge difference in the way you go about making that happen. This is the difference between a life plan that is mainly dependent on winning the lottery (you know, sitting around waiting for fortune to rain down on you) or taking that dream that has always been in your head and going after it with all you have to make it real.

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Transcript

If you have a big or an important goal that you want to achieve, then today’s episode is going to make a huge difference in the way you go about making that happen. This is the difference between a life plan that is mainly dependent on winning the lottery (you know, sitting around waiting for fortune to rain down on you) or taking that dream that has always been in your head and going after it with all you have to make it real. One of these options is about 99% in your complete control. I don’t know about you, but I have figured out that when I am actively taking steps to achieve any of my goals, the more active steps I take – the more often succeed.

This is not to say that I don’t have help or luck or that my Creator has not bestowed talent, wisdom, or other gifts on me. I do believe that you also have incredibly powerful talents, intelligence, and gifts in your own life that were entrusted only to you. You feel some pull, some drive to use them in a certain way. You have an idea that will make the world a better place and would make you thrilled to wake up every morning. If you could do “THAT THING” you’d jump out of bed and get to work to make things happen – every single day; Even on the days it is hard. The only way you can use your superpower mix to make the impact you have been dreaming of is to step out of the shadows, to step out of the safety and to let your life shine.

I KNOW what I am saying is not as simple as it sounds. I am a proudly introverted woman, who grew up in a very small town and only figured out around the age of 40+ that this was the secret. Actually, this gets to the very heart of why I started this podcast in the first place. I wish I could tell my 18, 25, or even 35-year-old self that stepping out of my comfort zone, that committing to some bold actions occasionally would make all of the difference. When I look back over my early years – I did do some bold things which did improve my life, but for years and years, I even took my bold actions in very safe ways. I enlisted in the Navy – along with one of my best friends from high school. I accepted my first 3-year orders in the Navy to go to the Azores, Portugal – because it let me go to a school very near my parents for ½ a year, after WAY longer than necessary, I finished my bachelor’s degree and applied for an Officer Program with two other friends who were working on their packages too. These were active steps I took that ended up leading to a great career overall. But, in my opinion I was even timid in taking those bold steps. I waited until it was as safe as possible to take some leaps that ended up making a big difference. Waiting for complete safety and the perfect opportunity is a time killer. Money can me made up, but time is just gone. Knowing everything I know now, and looking back, I realize that I also passed up on some bold opportunities that could have changed everything. I spent so much time watching TV, playing computer games, talking on the phone and worrying about wrong loves, and sometimes my time was wasted at work – doing busy work, focused on the small stuff. All of this was time I could have used on something wonderful, something that would have make a bigger impact than the impact I did make. You might say I was learning and growing. I was figuring it all out. That is true. One thing I figured out as time went on, that taking more initiative (which often required seemingly bold actions) led to a dramatic change in how I was perceived. I became an action taker, an executer, someone who could be counted on to get past challenges in the road and make things happen. This happened exponentially over time, the bolder actions I took, the more success I had and the more confidence I had to take further bold actions. It built on itself over time. The same thing will happen to you if you see the way and find a least enough confidence to take that first bold step.

- Never schedule anytime on your calendar to make progress toward this, so maybe you work on the goal sometimes, but only when you have absolutely nothing to do, not even a Netflix series to binge.

- Think about your dream, but allow yourself to churn in overwhelm and confusion about where to start. It seems so daunting, so you don’t do anything.

- Maybe you do something, you send out one social media post about your new business and then only get 2 likes, so you never do it again.

- The more overwhelmed you get, the more the excitement of the idea fades away and you lose motivation to ever achieve this goal.

- You start to believe you were not meant for this goal, it is ridiculous to have ever wanted it and you think your life is already as good as it will get.

- You find evidence that you were not meant for this goal, as you see others achieve it and think you are not as good as they are and maybe you should just stay in your quiet safe world where you are already good at the things you have been doing in the past.

Actively failing is MUCH different. Yes, you will still fail – BUT the difference is you will not only fail, you will learn, you will figure out what could have been different or better, and you will try again with a better result. Even if you do not succeed the 2nd time, you will learn, you will figure out what went wrong and you will try again, and eventually – if you really want it and if you do not stop – you will achieve your goal! It really is just that simple.

I want you to try this, 3 easy steps to make more progress than you have in a LONG time:

1. Write down your primary, biggest goal. Do this right now.

OK, now – I want you to make a plan to actively fail your way to success.

2. Write down 10 actions (actions have verbs) that you KNOW would move you closer to your goal.

3. Estimate the time each action will take and go put each one of those actions on your calendar and make a SERIOUS commitment to yourself that you will do the action when your calendar states you will do them.

When you are close to completing all these actions, then make 10 more and do the same thing.

If your goal is to find a new job or position:

1. Decide clearly what type(s) of position you are looking for. (Schedule deep work time and brainstorm what you really want, not what you would settle for.)

2. Update your resume and/or portfolio to find this type of position

3. Identify gaps you might need to find a way to fill, do you need to take an Agile Development class? A Data Science class, etc?

4. Reach out to mentors and other people in your network to discuss possible opportunities

5. The next 5-10-15 actions could be applying for multiple positions, interviewing, failing, getting feedback, applying, interviewing, failing, learning, etc. UNTIL IT WORKS.

Passively failing at this goal is to want it and then to stay in the same job, miserable for 10+ years.

Actively failing will not be comfortable, not at all. I will be stressful, scary, maybe even humiliating at times. The good news is that all of those things are just “feelings” and you will be just fine. A feeling will pass and when it does, you will still be here – only you will be a little smarter, a little wiser about what the next step is. You will have cleared away some of the confusion and doubt about what needs to happen next. You will have grown. You will have become stronger. Next time you will be better. This is the way.

Did you hear about a job opportunity that you 100% do want? If you are afraid to apply… and decide that you probably wouldn’t get chosen anyway, so you close the announcement and turn on Netflix -- you have just failed. You failed and you did absolutely nothing. You just told yourself, “NO”. If you do not believe in yourself, why will anyone else believe in you? You have to put yourself into the game before you can play the game. You have to sign up to be on the team before someone puts you on the field, you have to be on the field before you have a chance to score the winning point and become the MVP. All of this becomes possible when you take very active steps and learn, grow, then never quit.

It reminds me of the sign on the wall of my daughter’s DOJO when she took karate in her younger years… “A black belt is a white belt who didn’t quit.” Think about a white belt class, learning very basic moves, more senior belts roaming the class correcting stances, correcting arm positions. They take a test to advance, often they do not advance at the first test – they get feedback and they practice some more, then they try again. Yeah, it stinks when they don’t get promoted and get told they need to do more work – but that drives excellence. When they do the work, eventually they do pass and they move up to the next belt. Any goal you have will happen in just this way, but you have to be willing to get in the arena, take the active steps, get uncomfortable, be ok with feeling a little embarrassed or out of your comfort zone – it is the ONLY way you will grow. If you stay safe and choose to passively fail, you will never know what you were truly capable of. Passively failing is where the seeds of lifelong regrets take root. Don’t allow the regret of a life that “could have been lived” overcome your life. I am 100% sure that you are capable of more than you ever imagined – it just takes that one decision to take action. When you decide that you will never “Fail before you Start” again and begin taking a very active role in achieving your dreams, you will amaze yourself. Make this commitment to yourself right now and take the 3 actions in this podcast then, e-mail me at [email protected] and tell me about your results.