Welcome back to Late Boomers! We’re your hosts, Cathy Worthington and Merry Elkins, here to champion reinvention, resilience, and vibrant living in the second half of life. In this episode, we’re joined by expert transition coach and founder of Anchor to Aspire, Johanna Danaher, for a powerful conversation about navigating major life changes, rethinking retirement, and embracing new beginnings at any age.

Whether you’re contemplating a career pivot, facing unexpected change, or simply asking “What’s next?” This episode is packed with actionable insights, honest reflections, and inspiration tailored for boomers and anyone standing at a crossroads.

Key Takeaways

• Transitions are natural and can stir up a mix of excitement, fear, and even grief. Give yourself space to pause, process, and honor what you’re leaving behind (08:38).
• Defining success for yourself is crucial, especially when society's version may not match your own (04:31).
• Happiness is a daily practice and intentional choice, not a destination you “arrive” at (05:36).
• Being “busy” can be an avoidance mechanism instead, give yourself the gift of silent reflection (11:00).
• Shifting your energy and mindset from “victim” to “creator” opens new possibilities and empowers you in any transition (13:13).
• Building and enforcing healthy boundaries at home and at work is essential for energy management and authentic living (22:39).
• Fear and anger are natural responses to change; reframing fear as “fuel” can propel you toward transformation (26:07).

Are you standing at a crossroads?

This episode is your permission slip to pause, reflect, and step boldly into your next act. Visit Johanna Danaher’s website at anchortoaspire.com or connect with her on LinkedIn for more resources and group experiences.

If this conversation resonated with you, please subscribe to Late Boomers on your favorite podcast platform and share this episode with a friend! Remember, it’s never too late to create, grow, or pivot into a life that energizes you. Let’s do it together.

Stay tuned for more inspiration, and as always, keep blooming, Late Boomers!

Welcome to Late Boomers. I'm Cathy Worthington.

And I'm Merry Elkins. We're here for you, for people reinventing themselves in the second half of life, because it's never too late to create something meaningful, exciting, and new.

Whether you're changing careers, starting over, or simply asking, what's next, this is your place.

Yeah. And, Cathy, one thing we hear again and again from our listeners is that feeling of being in between.

Yes, boomers today are living longer, healthier lives, but that also means more transitions. Retirement isn't what it used to be.

It sure isn't. But everyone, listen. It's not an ending. It's a pivot and sometimes a confusing one.

Yeah. You've built a life, a career, an identity, and suddenly you're asking, who am I now?

And that feeling and that question can feel very exciting or terrifying or both,

which is why we're so happy to have today's guest who specializes in exactly this moment.

Yeah. Joining us today is Johanna Danaher, transition coach and founder of Anchor to Aspire.

Johanna, welcome to Late Boomers.

Thank you so much. Cathy and Merry. I'm thrilled to be here to have this conversation with the two of you today.

Thank you. We're thrilled to have you, too.

Let's start here. Why are transitions, especially in midlife, so challenging for so many people?

Yeah. So I think there's a couple of things here. Right. And, you know, I look at my own transition. When I left a corporate role and started my own entrepreneurship space, I didn't realize that I would have to grieve what I was leaving behind. Right. And that was a really important aha moment for me is that grief of really, what was I leaving? I was excited. I was terrified.

But I also had a lot of sorrow and a lot of grief. And that was really what made it very difficult for me because I didn't allow myself the time to truly process that.

Yeah, I get that. I had the same issue when I left the job I'd been in for a couple of decades. So you talk about the difference between change and transition. Can you explain that for our listeners? Yeah.

Sometimes transition is often at choice. Right. And so we're making a choice or someone else made a choice. There's this transition period that we're going through where we're stepping into something new. Change often is outside of our control. Transition is within our control and within our sphere of influence. Right. It's.

It's actually a lot more active. Right. Change can be like everything is changing around me. The. The the job I loved is no longer a part of me. Maybe the career has ended because of a restructure. Maybe it has ended because, you know, you, you were retired sort of out of an organization. It's.

It's outside of your control. The transitions that we go through happen often, I'd like to say, at choice. Sometimes they're not, but they are at choice. And, and when we, fundamentally, we are the ones who are in control of that transition versus this, this idea of change happening, you know, to us. I also think transition, you know, is a moment of re. Re identifying who you are. You know, you don't necessarily change your identity when you're in the midst of a change, but when you're transitioning and you're making this fundamental pivot, there is an identity shift that happens with that as well. You're becoming and you're being new.

So that's the fundamental difference.

Interesting. That is a real good concept to get, wrap your head around.

Yeah.

Many, many boomers feel stuck even when their life looks successful on paper. What's really going on there?

Because we've always been focusing in, on another person's definition of success. So when life looks good on, on the paper, it's because it. It is, it has the appearance of. Of being good. And it's because someone defined that success for us. And often when we feel stuck, it's because our definition of success does not match what the society's accepted definition of success is, or our own definition has shifted and changed, and we haven't shifted or changed along with it.

Yeah. And there's so many definitions of what success is, even from the outside. You emphasize happiness not as a side effect, but as a strategy. What does that mean in real life?

So oftentimes we have this idea that if I do more, then I'll have more and I'll be happy. Right. That's, as we all know, pro, not true. It's. It's. Happiness is a choice that we make every day. And happiness is something that we have to cultivate for ourselves. Right.

It's not a destination. It's the journey that we're on every single day. I have a sign behind me that says, if it's fun, do it often. And I have another sign on the other side of the wall that says, find joy in the journey. Right. So happiness, something we choose, and we all have the capacity to choose happiness. Now, I don't mean choose happiness as this idea of toxic positivity or toxic happiness. Right.

But choosing happiness in our everyday, it could Be a flower that you see. It could be the sun is feeling warm on your hands. It could be you're. You're playing in the dirt. All of those things could just be simple moments of happiness and joy, and we can choose them for ourselves.

I love that.

Be able to recognize them when they're happening, like in the present. That's. I think a lot of us just aren't in that present moment, so we don't. Somebody that loves gardening, like you mentioned, dirt, maybe they don't realize they're having. They're happy now. They're just doing it by rote. And maybe if they tune into that, they would feel happier. Right.

I love that you say that. Tuning in. Right. Because it's so. It is that awareness. Sorry, Merry.

No, I was going to ask you how you first recognized that.

Oh, for me? Yeah. It's interesting. So. So my. My father was a very happy individual and a very happy person. He had significant health issues and was chronically ill and actually passed away when he was 54 years old. But he was happy every single day of his life, and he was resilient, and he was present. So his idea of a great day was to take the long way, whether it was a longer subway ride, whether it was the long route in the car, whether it was the country roads in Maine.

And he did that on purpose because there was always something unexpected. There was always someone new that he could meet. And he taught me about this idea that happiness is something I cultivate and I create. So it's been a part of me having watched him and having seen him live a very, very difficult, very painful disease for 10 years of his life, and he still was happy every day.

That's an amazing teacher, mentor. How old were you when he passed?

I was in my early 20s. Like, 23, 24. It was 30 years ago.

You didn't get very much. You didn't get very much time with him. Yeah. When someone's facing a major life shift, what's the first question they should ask themselves?

Well, I'm not sure it's his first question. The first thing that they should do is pause so they can have the space to ask themselves the questions that they need to ask. And I do think the first question, once we've created that base, is really that idea of, what am I leaving behind? Right. Let's really recognize that, what am I leaving? Because that's important to name, to normalize, to acknowledge, and then.

And by that you mean like a legacy thing? Like, what am I leaving when I'M

when I pass, it could actually be, what am I leaving behind in that previous role or that previous space? So not necessarily the legacy that I'm leaving forward, Right. It's actually, what am I leaving when I'm leaving? Whatever I'm transitioning from.

Even leaving memories.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And then is there. And then is there a first step that they ask themselves, like, what the heck did I do?

Or.

Yeah, hopefully not that

well. It's also the next. It's, well, what do I want to carry forward? Right. So what are the things that energize me? Because a lot of the things that we're leaving behind, right. Are the things that were depleting us. We may not have recognized that they were depleting us. We may not have acknowledged that they were depleting us, but we're leaving those things or we should be leaving those things behind. Right? So identifying then what is energizing, what is depleting, and what do I want more of? So those are the questions that fundamentally, in any transition, we should be asking ourselves.

And a lot of people won't even know. So that's another area of discovery, I would think. And. Yeah, well, what are some of the common limiting beliefs or fears that keep people from moving forward?

So the first one is, it's actually the sort of, I have to be busy, right? So busy is all is a socially acceptable way to avoid busy.

I identify with that one.

And it. And when we're busy, we avoid uncertainty, right? We avoid the silence where those identity questions actually live. Because we're busy. Right. And for many of us who, you know, have been high performers, whether it's in a corporate setting, whether it's, as you know, the family matriarch, whether it's as a small business owner, right. We have equated our worth with our output. So what did we perform? What did we give to others? Right. And a retirement transition can threaten that, right.

When we're. Our whole identity is wound up in what did I produce, what did I do? What did I give to someone else? Then we either recreate a job without meaning, or we burn our energy trying to outrun that discomfort. Or we just stay busy all the time because we don't know how to sit with that silence that we need sometimes in order to figure out what comes next.

Any pointers on sitting with silence?

Give yourself grace and challenge the story that comes up in your mind. Because oftentimes when we're uncomfortable with something, we fill it with a story. Well, I should be doing something else. Others expect me to be doing this. I can't take this time for myself. I should be focusing on others and not myself. Really? Really? No.

Really? Yeah.

Yeah.

No, probably not what I would say. And you work with something called energy leadership. How does our mindset affect the way we navigate change then?

So we navigate chain. Yeah. So energy leadership is really all about the fact that there are, you know, two types of energy that sort of, you know, all of us resonate with. There's the energy that is, as I mentioned sort of briefly before, that's more catabolic. It's sort of destructive energy. It's the energy of stress, Right. It's the energy that. That comes when cortisol is spiking.

And there's reasons that we have that. Right. It's helping us digest, it's helping our body sort of process things, but it's also holding us stuck in many ways. Then there's this more anabolic energy that is the energy of creation, right. It's the building up. And so energy leadership is really about understanding where you resonate. And there are seven levels of energy all the way from levels one and two being more catabolic and victim and anger. Right.

So they're sort of characterized by something's happening to me, I have no control or I'm angry, I'm going to fight, fight or flight. Right. And then there's the higher levels of energy, which is where creation and opportunity and learning and growth and helping and collaboration come into. And it's very hard to be creative when we're feeling in this sort of, everything's happening to me and I have no choice. I'm. I'm reacting versus responding. So that's what energy leadership is all about. It's really understanding where you are on a good day, what is the natural you.

And then what happens to you under

stress, because that's something you do on your own, but with yourself. Or is it something that people go to you for coaching or is that something you do too?

Yeah. So I do offer an energy leadership index. It's a proprietary run by the IPAC organization that I am a coach through. And it allows you to see sort of what that energy resonance is, but you can also reflect on this yourself. Right? So because awareness creates choice, right? So once we are aware of something and we understand and we can ask ourselves these questions about how am I showing up right now? What's my energy? Right? Am I feeling like I can't, I'm. I don't have control, then you take that pause and you say, well actually I do have control, so let me understand how am I feeling in this moment and then you can access those sort of higher level levels of energy. Definitely gives you perspective.

You know, I think you just answered a question I had which is how can someone shift from this is happening to me, this mindset into something more empowering and you have any other ideas on how to do it?

So I think the other one is also recognizing that when we have a strength, right. You know, that strength could be. For me, I'm definitely a helper, right. It's in my DNA. It's always been in my DNA. It's the job I did. It's, it's, you know, who I am. It's is my core fundamental value that can easily become people pleasing.

And I was going to say very

easily what it sounded like. Yeah.

So helper can be very much about sort of servant leadership, right. Really enabling others to become their best selves. But if I don't then think about my own self care, then my needs are not met. I'm not meeting my needs, I'm not putting boundaries in place for myself. I then start to equate my worth with how people view me versus how I view me. So it's also recognizing that and then

can you really help others if you're not helping yourself?

You can't. And I heard this statement like two, two months ago I was talking with, with a peer and you know, you say those old adage, right, Put your own oxygen mask on first or you can't pour from an empty cup. And they said to me, you know, you can't pour from a filling cup either. You can only pour from the overflow.

Oh, I would what?

I had never heard that before. And I was like, you're absolutely so right. I have to not just fill my cup, but not just, you know, make sure, you know, the cup isn't empty. It has to be overflowing.

So you have much to give. Yeah, that concept of more interesting.

Interesting.

Well, for people reinventing themselves after 50 or 60, how do they identify what's next?

So one of the things I do, and I had to do this with myself, was ground myself in my value system again. So I hadn't really thought about it in about 25 years and my values are still pretty much the same. However, how they are honored is quite different. And when I started to look at my values and really ask myself what's next? It was very clear that what was next for me was not to Go back into another corporate role. I had spent 25 years in corporate HR. It was clear that that was not the right decision for me. I needed and my values were pointing me towards being much more focused in my community areas and being much more targeted one on one and working with people and as opposed to large scale org changes. Right.

It was no, I, I, I have this mission, this passion, this purpose that's pointing me to work one on one. So that was for me, so important, was really relooking at my value system to assure, ensure that whatever I was going to do next aligned because I was so depleted.

Well, talking about being depleted, excuse me, how does resilience play? In what role does resilience play in transition? And, and also is it something that we just have or can it be learned?

Some really good questions there, Merry. Resilience, I think is, is fundamental to, to a transition. Right. You, you, you know, resilience is for me it's all about the sort of learning mindset, a growth mindset. Right. It's, it's not, it's, it's not letting fear hold you back. It's, it's actually knowing that you're going to make a mistake or maybe you can't possibly ever make a mistake because a mistake is just something we label after the fact. All right? So, so resiliency is how do you pick yourself up after something doesn't go.

Right. Right. And how do you find the lesson and the learning in that? And that's so fundamental.

Yeah. But also too sometimes, I know sometimes when I say got to be resilient, got to be strong, you steel yourself, but you shut a door when you do that. How do you keep the door open with that resilience and be able to actually incorporate it?

It's very much emotional awareness. Many of us, you know, especially those of us in our 50s and our 60s, grew up with the knowledge and even the teaching that we'd have to check our emotions at the door. Right. If we're emotional, we're overreacting. Right.

And that'll be women. That'll all be women always.

Right. You know, I can't tell you how many times I heard that you're being emotional. You have to be, you know, be pragmatic, focus on the facts, make sure that the emotions stay at home where they belong. You're like, really? No, no. The emotion is part of who we are and so we have to own the emotion. I actually have an emotions wheel, a sticker that's on laptop and it has just These different emotions and it's, you know, high level, what am I feeling then? What am I thinking? And then what's an action that I can take? And I look at that every day.

That's great. So how am I, how am I feeling, how am I thinking and what action can I take? Yeah, I like that.

That's a good one. Yeah. Well, you've talked about letting go of old identities and how do you help people through that? How do they get rid of, like, if they're a people pleaser? Something like that.

Yeah.

So.

So from, like the people pleaser, for me, the simple thing that I have to ask myself is what would please me as opposed to what would please others? And so asking those two questions, right. So really understanding how do I support myself for someone who is like, oh, product. Someone who's so focused on, you know, I guess, high standards. Right. Many, many, many of us have high standards for ourselves and for others. And high standards can become self criticism. So that's the other thing I work with my clients on is really cultivating the inner coach as opposed to the inner critic. Right.

That's the key is when we can actually talk to ourselves like we would talk to our best friend. That's where change can happen. That's where we can really lean in. And I also work on helping people reframe responsibility from I can't disappoint anyone to I have responsibilities and I'm choosing how I'm going to show up in those moments. What are my boundaries? Because boundaries, we never set boundaries. I was never taught how to set a boundary growing up in my life. So now it's become a really core and, you know, complete component of who I am. What are my boundaries? What am I going to say yes to? Because everything I say yes to is a no to something else.

Ah, yeah. But it's also such a common topic now. Boundaries and growing up, I never heard of that. Never once heard it. Merry, did you?

No, never.

Did anybody ever tell you anything of that in school or.

No, because we're women, we're supposed to be people pleasers. Right.

But I think even my friends who went to therapy or anything, they never talked about it either. I think it's a newer type of concept that maybe psychiatrists and people didn't understand for a long time. I don't know, I'm just like kind of asking both of you.

Yeah, yeah, Johanna.

Yeah. You know, I. I don't know because I. I mean, I'm not sure. I'm not, you know, a Clinical psychologist by any means. So I'm not sure where. Where it sort of started to come up. But you're right, you know, it was never something that we heard in school or even in the workplace or.

And I talk about it. I have a daughter who's in college and she is really clear on her boundaries. So I'm very happy that that conversation has changed in her life. However, we do have the opportunity to set boundaries for ourselves now. And it's okay to say, you know, I don't have capacity for that today. When we think about energy, energy is our capacity. Right. We don't get any more time in the week that's not renewable.

What capacity is. We try. We try, but capacity our energy that's renewable. And the only way we can renew that is if we set the right boundaries for ourselves.

That's a really, really important point. And yet I know that Cathy and I are both. Cathy is an actress. I was. And in improv, you have to say yes to everything. It's not yes, but it's yes. And so in my mind it's okay, say yes to life. Say yes to the life giving energy and then move on.

Yeah, yeah.

Also yes, and in life, too. Yes. And what else can I do? Yes, and what else can you do?

Exactly.

If you were helping someone else.

And I love that. Right. Because it is. It's such a perfect metaphor for what we're saying right now. Yes and yes, I need. Yes, I am doing this with you, or yes, and this is what I need.

Yeah. There you set your boundaries and you don't have to say no because maybe. Maybe that's what you find out. What's next.

Yeah.

I think, though, the point is sometimes you do have to say no.

Oh, yeah.

That is how you set a boundary.

Our dogs especially, all the time. So. So, Johanna, give us one practical step for our listeners, something they can take with them this week if they're standing at a crossroads.

So the thing that I would focus in on here is at a crossroad, sometimes there's fear. So normalize that fear. Fear isn't a sign that this is the wrong thing or the not the good thing or reframe it. Right. What is this trying to protect me from? What matters to me that I don't want to lose. Right. And step into the pivot, the transformation. Eyes wide open.

Right.

That's the thing. It's like, step into this greatness. Cathy, what you said. Yes and Right.

Yes.

And this transformation is going to transform me in some way that I May not know yet. And that's okay. I don't need to be afraid of it. I need to use that fear as fuel.

Yeah.

And I think so often when people feel that fear, it comes out like anger. So a lot of times you'll talk to some. If they seem. People seem angry, they're actually quite afraid of what it is they're trying to step into or trying to do or what they're afraid you're doing to them by telling them whatever you're saying.

And I love that you brought that up.

Yeah. Okay. Talk about that a little.

So, interestingly, I mentioned that Energy Leadership Index. So I. I have taken that three times. I took that about four months before, learned that my role was. Was being eliminated, and I took it about five or six months after, and then I just recently took it. So it's been three times within like the last 18 months. And from the second time to right now, my response, my level two anger response under stress went from a 16.2% of my response to a 6.2.

Oh,

and a lot of that.

Ideally, it's the lower you can get it. Right.

Yeah.

That we shouldn't be reacting with fear to everything or actually with anger when we have fear or even reacting to.

Yeah.

We need to recognize that that is fear. Just say, oh, I'm afraid of that. But not. Not get so angry we're going to beat up something.

Yeah. And you know, every level of energy has a point and a place. Right. That there's, there's, you know, it's protecting us from something. You know, anger should be a signal that something matters. Sometimes if someone is being threatened, attacked or whatever. Anger has a. Has a place, but it can't control the narrative.

Right. It can't be what just makes the decision. And you can't stay there. Right. If you stay there for so long, it becomes something that's really destroying you. So for me, I was staying there too much, and it was not healthy for me. And really what I learned was it was fear, and it was the fact that I was not honoring my own boundaries. And so once I started to really say, oh, I have this boundary, but I've let it slide.

And once I had that difficult conversation with myself, all of a sudden things started to change and my response really, really shifted dramatically.

Yeah, I love that.

I do, too.

Johanna, this has been incredibly helpful.

So helpful. And especially for anyone feeling uncertain, you've really kind of normalized that experience.

Where can people find you and learn more about your work?

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, thanks so much for asking. So my website is called anchor to aspire.com and you can reach out and book a coffee connection with me right there on my website. And you can also connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm quite active on LinkedIn. I share a lot of content and I love getting into conversations with individuals. So please, you know, follow me on LinkedIn and if anything resonated in the conversation and you or your listeners are interested in exploring it more. I'm hosting small group experiences on a monthly basis, but very simple zoom calls just to really step outside of, you know, the daily grinds and, you know, get clearer on what's next.

And you can find out more information on those webinars on my website as well.

That's. That's great.

And that they'd find under Anchor to Aspire.

Correct?

Yeah, that's great. And to all of our listeners, this may be the beginning of your most exciting and authentic authentic chapter yet. And.

And if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to Late Boomers and please share it with a friend. Because it's never too late to be a late boomer.

That's right.