Description

This blistering takedown of pineapple pizza lovers exposes the culinary terrorism happening on $12.99 delivery. While Italian grandmothers weep, these tropical fruit terrorists smugly desecrate centuries of tradition, claiming "balanced flavors" while committing atrocities that would make a chef reach for their wooden spoon.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

This rant doesn't just cook—it incinerates. Why? Because pizza purity isn't just food snobbery, it's our last stand against chaos. When your "open-minded" friend defends pineapple abominations, they're not just wrong—they're threatening civilization itself. Like watching someone put Skittles in their bourbon, we're not angry—we're disappointed... and planning your intervention.