Do you want to get what you want? In Episode 20 of the Shining Brightly podcast show, my guest Dr Richard Kaye shares his wisdom about negotiations, getting what you want and creating customers for life. Come learn the 5 steps to powerful and winning negotiations. EVERYTHING is NEGOTIABLE. Come listen to the stories and this fun episode.

About The Guest

Dr. Richard Kaye received his Bachelor of Science Degree in business, from Long Island University in 1973. He went on to receive his Doctorate of Chiropractic from the Columbia Institute of Chiropractic in New York. After 30 years in private practice in San Diego, California, he retired to pursue an entrepreneurial life. Prior to entering the field of health care, he was an electronics engineer working in the field of communications. For the past 24 years, he’s worked with CEO Space, the world’s oldest and largest business development organization, assisting entrepreneurs accelerate the growth of their businesses. Dr. Kaye has been featured on KTLA television, Los Angeles, California, on several occasions, discussing two of his specialties: Team Building and Super Networking.  He was also featured in a PBS special show

about him. He’s appeared on numerous television and radio shows, he has authored myriad articles. Dr. Kaye is an internally acclaimed lecturer, having presented seminars and workshops in Australia, France, Japan, and Russia, as well as in the United States. He’s also a faculty member of CEO Space. At the Chopra Center, in La Costa, California, he spoke about: Consciousness, Cooperation, and Contribution— thriving in the developing recession. Richard has a reputation as the business growth strategist, and is the author of the highly acclaimed book: The Secrets of Creating Customers For Life. He speaks around the nation about the Secrets of Empowering Negotiation. Richard resides in Taos, New Mexico.

About the Host:

Howard Brown is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, interfaith peacemaker, and a two-time stage IV cancer survivor. He is also a sought-after speaker and consultant for corporate businesses, nonprofits, congregations, and community groups. Howard has co-founded two social networks that were the first to connect religious communities around the world. He is a nationally known patient advocate and “cancer whisperer” to many families. Howard, his wife Lisa, and daughter Emily currently reside in Michigan, and his happy place is on the basketball court.

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Http://www.shiningbrightly.com

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#shiningbrightly

Hello, welcome to Shining Brightly. It's your

host, Howard Brown extraordinaire. And we are

Shining Brightly. We're putting the spotlight on Richard Kay

today. Welcome, Richard. How are you?

Outstanding is a beautiful Wednesday. And as I

said before we started love your background shining brightly and

grow and sun. Nope. No pun intended. rddrIt's brilliant

Howard,

not not bad for a rainy day in Michigan. I don't

know how you're doing. You're in. You're in Taos, right? You

gotta go.

Wedhar got about 80 degrees and blue skies,

so it's good.

I'm telling you, you're gonna fascinate our

audience today. Richard, you are such a renaissance man. I, I'd

like you to just introduce yourself. Give us some

highlights of your your stellar stellar career and

accomplishments.

Well, let's see, I started out as

electronics engineer, got a bachelor's degree in business

management, got a doctorate in chiropractic, drove from Sandy

from New York to San Diego, practice chiropractic for 30

years, and retired. My practice doubled through an

entrepreneurial conference with touch on that later. And I just

shut it down. I now live in Taos, New Mexico. And I, when I

retired, I came out here and began serving entrepreneurs. As

Tony Robbins says not to impress you, but to impress upon you. I

even had a PBS special about the work that I was doing as a

doctor back then. And it's much more fun being an entrepreneur

and serving entrepreneurs. And that's my life. That's what I

do.

You're talking to a serial technology entrepreneur

right here. So I'm audience number one for you today. And I

appreciate that. I know what we talked about a couple of

different topics. And I think we'll have to have you on enough

thriving during the pandemic another time. Today, we're going

to focus on secrets of empowering negotiations. I think

that is such a lost art and skill. It can be learned and it

needs to be practised. And how did you how did you come up with

that topic. And and I believe it's really important, and it

needs to be learned learn skill and in practice,

you know, it's interesting, when I looked back

to see how I got to the place of teaching that my job as an

engineer, we were selling to the government, were government

contractors back then, negotiating with vendors,

negotiating with government inspectors, those kinds of

things that I didn't know what I was doing. I know most people do

not learn negotiation, they just do it now give you some examples

of that. Then I became a doctor. And in the early days, I was

negotiating with insurance companies and patients to keep

coming in and steal vendors. And then I shifted to a cash

practice because you're responsible for your health, no

one else's. So that was totally cash is still negotiating with

patients. Then when I shut that and the negotiating to buy my

land, and I'll tell the story about that, too. So you can put

this all real time and working with entrepreneurs.Everything we

do, Howard, everything is in negotiation. And ladies and

gentlemen, let's bring that home for you. First negotiation you

have is with yourself every single morning, watch this. When

you awaken, it's gonna get out of bed. Oh, boy, hang out here

for a little while. That's your first negotiation. So I began to

develop this. And quite frankly, someone asked me, Richard, why

don't you teach what you do? I said, What? No, your gift is one

of the things that you do that you don't understand why

everybody doesn't do. So I was invited to put together a

programme or teach it all over the country teacher to the

world's number one rated business conference called CEO

space. That's what I do. That's the Genesis. That's the

backstory on how we get here, Howard.

I know I appreciate that. I will tell you

that sometimes there's alternative factors, like my dog

wanting to go out early in the morning that makes the decision

for me. There's my negotiation that goes out or PS pees on the

floor. Right.

So he's a better negotiator in that sense.

Sense. Yes.

Yes, he is. So you know, negotiations is taught

there's, there's practices out there, but there's got to be

some secret sauce. What's some of your secret sauce that you

bring to the table?

Well, interesting question. Most

people when we think about negotiation, it's I went in

reverse. Now that that's the culture I used to teach i When

you when level two, and that's nice now, and we'll talk about

this too, that if you're just negotiating on price, somebody's

going to feel that in when, and we'll talk about how many other

things are out there. Then I talked about level three

negotiation, which is I win, you win, and our cohort wins. So is

it a secret sauce? I don't know. It's just the world that I

choose to live in. Let's say I love level four. Level four is

your is this positivity Street and shining brightly? Because I

would say that most of the experience that I see in

negotiations is a lose, lose. And if they want a high price,

you want a low price, and you split the difference. You both

lost. So let me give you a story. I mentioned I lived in

San Diego. And I don't know 2530 minutes from Tijuana. The

culture in Tijuana is your handle, you negotiate for

everything. So my then wife and I went down to send to Tijuana,

and we saw a wrought iron plant rack that we knew just where it

would go in the kitchen. And I asked the guy how much he says

20 bucks. That's okay. 10 Okay, 1995, 10 1/4 we do this. We get

to the place where it's 15 at 151/2 15.75 15 and a half.

Arlene taps me Lucius given the friggin quarter. Let's get out

of here. we learned through stories. And by the way, ladies

and gentlemen, later on in this segment, we're going to give you

some free gifts that have the potential to transform your

life. Many years ago, Howard, young man, a friend of mine

called me up. He's rich, I'd like to teach what you do. This

was in chiropractic. But yeah, I'd like you to teach what you

do. I have a series of seminars and you'd be a wonderful fit.We

talked about where when how long I would have he'll cover

expenses. He was going to fly me to San Francisco, Chicago.

Orlando spreading our friends and family. So someone's going

to pay me to go teach and visit family and friends. How cool.

And ultimately I asked him well, Jay, how much are you paying? He

says, Well, I'm going to pay you $500 A city as a long, long time

ago. Seven words, Howard. You'll have to do better than that.

Ladies and gentlemen. Pause. Get something to write with. Write

that down. You'll have to do better than that. Without

missing a beat. How are Howard, Jay said, are the best I can

offer you as $1,000? Howard would what just happened? I

doubled what he was paying me or he doubled what he was paying

me. Now, there is an antidote to that. The antidote, keep those

writing six ready is exactly how much better do I have to do? Now

watch this. If Jay had taken this programme, and learn the

antidote, if I said you'll have to do better and he said, How

much better do I have to do? How would if you were in that same

situation, someone said how much better do I have to do what

might you have said

If

If I might have said that I normally charge, you know, but

for you, you put the onus back on me to set that price ceiling.

Exactly. I might have said, six 650, maybe

seven, I never would have doubled it. No. So it doesn't

make a difference whether you're buying or selling. Years ago, I

had my Jeep Grand Cherokee and the rear transaxle. Blown. And I

went to pick it up and I said, Doc, how much he showed me the

bill 1500. I said, and write this down. This is another

negotiation tip. What's the best price you can do? he said 1500.

Okay, you have to be able to accept that as an answer. He's

still my mechanic. So little independent guy. And, okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, anytime you do any of these negotiation

strategies, have a smile on your face and be gentle. Don't be

obnoxious. That's what gets all of us in trouble. So you have

two skills there, you'll have to do better than this. And the

antidote, exactly how much better the lightest, what's the

best price you can do? I have a philosophy how it never hurts to

ask me Doc said 1500. Okay, here's my credit card. Many

people think you can only negotiate it personally. Or if

you're buying artwork or something like that. You

remember the days we used to wear suits and ties.

I just went to a wedding. Actually, I went to a

wedding two weeks ago, I throw on the suit and tie. That was

the that was the first time in a while.

I used to negotiate and Nordstroms when I

was buying suits. Now, again, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna

give you an example. So you understand how this works. I've

negotiated in Best Buy, where a Nordstrom is, they're not going

to change the price. But the sales lady said, Well, I can't

do anything in the price. But what if I throw in a couple of

shirts works for me. You know, And I asked to sell the young

kid. And I said what's the best price you can do in this. And he

panicked, says I thought it was a sale. So I can't do anything

with it. But I can give you this and he gave me this and he gave

me this and he gave us probably three $400 worth of peripherals

that go with it. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm telling you these

stories so that you can understand it's not just

negotiating a contract. You negotiated with yourself, Howard

am I going to wear a suit which suit which tie which shirt. If

you view the world through that lens that changes doesn't.

I would say when I moved to Michigan, this is now

17 years ago, but I went to Best Buy. And I actually bought a big

screen TV as well. And I asked the the sales rep to if he had

authority to negotiate. So this is the this is a Richard Kay

great story because you all appreciate it. And he said,

And they said, Well, that does change the game. And we lowered

the price on both of them and threw in free installation.

Congratulations. So I executed the Richard K model there but 17

years ago, and then I'm reminded Richard, this is fun. You'll get

a kick out of this. So there's a young little boy, he puts a sign

in front of his house and he says the dog the mother dog just

had puppies and he says I'm going to sell a $500 puppy and

his mother's like you sure that's what it's worth the $500

for a puppy sounds a lot he goes nope, I'm gonna do it. So he

come in every day after school that anyone asked about for the

$500 Puppies, and nope, nope, nope. A week goes by and the

sign is still up there. And the little boy runs into the kitchen

to see his mom with the sign. And he said, Mom, I got someone

to, you know, to take the puppy. And she was like, shocked. She

said, Someone paid $500 for one of these puppies. He said, No,

he goes, I traded for two $250 cats.

That's a great story. That is a wonderful,

so I just reinforces what you're saying, I

have to say that you're bringing it down to a much basic level of

what you do. Because people think about going around a table

and sitting across the table in negotiations. And it's not that

it's everyday interactions. I'm about to have a big negotiation

about what's for dinner with my wife.

That's it. That's the when you view the

world through that lens, and your laughter. It's funny. I you

may be old enough to remember a television show called Rhoda. It

was a spin off for The Mary Tyler Moore Show. And Rhoda

Morgenstern was, and her boyfriend Joe is in her

apartment. And he says she's going to come home. And she's

going to say this. And I'm going to say this. And she's going to

say this. And this is I'm having an argument with myself, and I'm

losing. I send out emails about some of the work I do in

negotiation. And a woman wrote back and said, I work with

solopreneurs that I have no need for your work because they don't

negotiate.

I, I couldn't laugh at her. I was email anyway. And I presume

and I wrote back. And in text, I told the story that I just

shared with the viewers here about doubling what someone was

paying me. I said everything is negotiation, and solopreneurs

negotiate more than anybody else. Never heard back from her,

of course. So anytime you've been in negotiation, ladies and

gentlemen, someone says, I'll have to think about it. Of

course you have, whether you are you've said it, you're going to

buy a car and the salesperson gives you a question I think

about it, or you're selling something and I don't care what

your business is, you're selling a workshop, a programme, a

seminar, your artwork, your house, some still have think

about it. Well, at the end of this programme, I'm going to

give you a gift that is a PDF download. And how to get around

that to the other side of that as part of it's a 14 page PDF.

And it's got five tips from the secrets of empowering

negotiation. And another story, Howard about negotiation when I

came out here to Taos 20 years ago, and bought 80 acres. And my

then wife and I said that someday we'll move here. Well,

someday happened. She got a job as the assistant district

attorney and they said be here in two weeks. It was raw land

off grid we didn't have time to build. So we bought a home.

Divorce. I mean, sold 40 divorce, she got 20 I got 20.

And I've had it on the market for a while. And one day a guy

calls me up, he says so you notice on the bulletin board,

can I come out and take a look? So I drove him out there and he

says I'm buying it. I'm gonna take you through some numbers,

but don't get lost in the numbers because it's a concept

we're talking here. It was 26, five an acre. And we'll talk

about that in a moment. Not 20, not $2,650, but 26 Five an acre.

And so at 20 acres, it's about 52 to $53,000 total. The terms

that I offered him were $15,000 down and paying it out over

three years. Conversation conversation. He says can I put

$5,000 down? Sure. Can I pay it out over five years? I said,

Okay. He says, and then another conversation? Well, I need

capital for he just moved here and he says I need liquidity.

Can I do no money down? And as owner financing.

He's got no money down. First payment starts in less than a

month starts at the beginning of next month. So it's 2000

something a month, upfront load. He's got no money down and

deferred payment for two months. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if I

was in

intransigent on point $15,000 down and no three years might

not have sold them. He wanted it so much. And we'll talk about

that time permitting. He wanted it so much that he was willing

to pay 20% More than I was asking solopreneurs don't

negotiate, people negotiate everything you do, oh,

he needed more time. He needed some on the

upfront and he wanted more time extended from the three or two

or three years to five. And for that there's a there's a cost.

There's a price that you apply today.

So yes, it's my for me, it's outstanding.

Yes.

It's just a demonstration that when you get off the thing of

price only? Where can you go with this virtually anywhere?

Now, I mentioned that dollars, I said it's not 26, not $2,650 and

equals 26. Five or 2650. The word dollars has a huge

emotional anchor. Someone once asked me why I don't know. But

we grow up with dollars, dollars dollars, everything is dollars.

When you use the word dollars, it amplifies the value of the

employees the emotion. And because of that the value.

University of Chicago I believe it was many years ago did a

survey. How have you been to restaurants? Yes.

I mean, not as much during COVID. Now, but

we're getting back there.

When you look at a menu, what's the

overwhelming thing that pops up? Dozens

is usually hopefully if it's a good menu,

there's the scription, but that you'll see the price always on

the right side of it or right below the description of the

item.

And what's right before the price is $1

sign. That's right. Dollars dot and they're flooding you.

University did research, they remove dollar signs from the

menus, same menu, no dollar signs. What do you think

happened to their sales?

It probably went up because people didn't. That

dollar sign is kind of a negative connotation, I guess. I

mean, things used to be like 999 or 95. I'm now seeing $97. Or

they're the 99 is now you know, some type of a negative

connotation.

it yes and no, it's psychology. You know, you

look at the gas. And if it's fourth 457 99, you don't say you

don't say 458. Most people says 457 We tend to round out. But

the point is, it's the dollar sign. So lose the dollar sign

when you're selling something and use it when you're buying

something.

And that's interesting with gas because gas

here in Michigan is about 529 A gallon over the holiday weekend

and in some places 565. And the negotiation I had was do I want

to wait in line for Costco or Kroger gas at eight cents less,

or use the upside card and save another eight cents and go

through that and plug it in and pay less or stop off at the idea

that the gas station that's a mile down the road and then pull

right in and pump and pay pay full price. So

again, ladies and gentlemen, a beautiful

example of our internal negotiation. That's all it is

everything you've heard me say this everything is in

negotiation. So there's also an antidote to the dollar signs, by

the way. And I said use it to amplify whether you're buying or

selling, if any of you listening happened to be a realtor, for

example. And you may say, Well, this house is on the market for

575,000 conspicuous no dollars, and 575,000. Now, ladies and

gentlemen, when the check clears the bank, you know, it's the

same amount. The bank doesn't care. However, I have a

motivated seller, and she may be willing to take $75,000 off,

which makes it an even whatever I said 500,000. So the dollar

sign is absent in the offer and totally present in the reduction

because you're now amplifying the number the emotional weight

of that. And when when you download the gift that Howard

Howard asked me so I'm gonna give you a couple of things

here. One of them is again, those five tips. And there are

five things that I promise you won't do anything for you unless

you read them. You know how many of us are on webinars, podcasts

seminars, and you get free stuff, and you download it. And

a day later you don't even remember Are you download? So

this is an invitation to take the opportunity and transform

your life. I'd like to believe you're getting some valuable

information. I just didn't say write it down when we talked

about dollars, but hopefully you did. It's a wealth of

information.

You got to apply it, you got it, as you know it,

you got to take action and apply it. So hopefully a good

percentage will and tell me how to if you've been in some

negotiations, Richard, that just, you can't seem to break

the deadlock or you have always found a way

outstanding questions like getting my, my,

my jeep repaired. Sometimes you have to accept the outcome. And

what we have to learn is when to walk away, how committed are

you? And I alluded to this earlier, this guy is was

committed to buying the land, he sends me pictures every day of

cornice planting, that's all for it was beautiful, was 700 feet

out here. And his off grid and his wants to plant corn what he

was so committed, he couldn't walk away from the deal. Now I

made it easier for him to stay present. Now. If you are so

committed to have something, you have already lost the

negotiation. Friend of mine was an ER doc back in San Diego and

a Datsun 280. Z came out and you say gotta have it to why Steve?

I just wanted his wife thought he was crazy. Also the overpaid

for it, because it was the first addition. And he had to have it.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you have to have something

reevaluate in any negotiation is like how are you going to

negotiate with your wife tonight over dinner, you know, and

there's fun in that you can have the relationship or you can be

right. In business, you can have the deal or you can be right.

This is the only thing get satisfied the ego. And the ego.

Ego is a friend Joe Bower says your your ego is not your Amigo,

you got to get rid of it. You got to get rid of it. It will

serve you in the worst ways.

So I have a few friends that went on the Tesla

waiting list and they paid whatever, charge them and they

got their their Tesla, six months, eight months a year

later. And they're pretty proud of it. But again, if you they

put themselves in a disadvantaged position, but

that's what they chose. They had to have it. So you know, you

have to evaluate that tremendous.

Yeah, and they get bragging rights, which

nobody cares about.

Wow, they do, I guess but so fantastic. For it

can apply to to husband wife negotiations, your children,

business partners, I think it really has great applicability.

And I think that these these giveaways, which will include

the links to them, it's really important. And then those those

words is that I just now have to apply it. Because that's that

that that really is the thing that you just skip over. You

just go and you press the buy button, and you're talking to a

computer, right? You're buying something on Amazon, there's

you're negotiating with either to get free shipping or not

apply. Yeah. limits your options.

Yeah. And I want to speak to one other

thing, because and I mentioned earlier, a couple of different

gifts. Yes. I said my practice doubled. And I went to this

conference named CEO space,

the world's largest oldest Forbes magazine, citizen number

one business conference. And I came home, I didn't change

prices, I didn't change anything in the office, my practice

doubled. And I assure you my BS degree in business management is

not the reason why because that's just that that's BS,

that's I learned how to go have a job. So the other thing,

Howard that I'm going to give you and your audience is 30 days

free membership, when we used to do live programmes, it was seven

and a half $1,000. And we fed everyone three meals a day and

snacks for a week, which was more than the room rental and AV

and all that stuff. Well, we now do stuff online. So I'm giving

your audience free membership for 30 days. And yeah, it'll

blow your mind is what happens.

I like that try before you buy see if it's for

you see if you want to take it seriously. Yeah, I think that's

amazing, amazing offer. So I I'd like to see how do people get in

touch with you Richard? What's the best way if after they're

hearing this they want to actually you know, talk to the

man the myth. You know the negotiating legend Richard Kay,

well, your website's on your on your on your

Yeah, and when you ladies and gentlemen And

when you go to either of those places, the free tips or the one

month free, there's a place to enter your phone number. And it

says, if you'd like to have a business strategy conversation,

reach out, and I'll call you or sit, we'll set up an

appointment.

Rkaye@richardkaye.com.

So reach out email. Again, put your phone number in one of

those I'll share another funny story. How do I have an email

with my name? Ladies and gentlemen, if you can secure

that, that's cool. I checked it over and over again some

mathematician some high level math guy had it. And I just kept

checking looking for the expiration date and one day he

forgot to renew now that yet actually my email my domains

right on the name there. That's another thing. If you have a

domain like that is just marketing tips. Put it every

time you're on a chat so people can get in touch with you.

Absolutely and shiningbrightly.com And you'll

find me So Richard, this has been an absolute pleasure. I

always want to put on my glasses because you're shining so

brightly with amazing information about negotiation so

important today. I want to thank you I amazing stories and when

this publishes, we're going to share it all around social media

and people get back in touch with you. But thank you, thank

you. Thank you invaluable advice today, and I'm grateful for

having you on Shining Brightly.

Thank you for the opportunity, Howard. Stay