In this week’s 5 Random Questions, Danny chats with Emily Williams, a Webby, Signal and Anthem award-winning podcast host, and former Executive Director of the Arcus Center for Social Justice Leadership. They discuss everything from a life-changing loss, cats owning dogs, superhero shenanigans, and more.

Answering the questions this week: Emily Williams

Emily Williams (she/her) is a Webby, Signal and Anthem award-winning podcast host, and former Executive Director of the Arcus Center for Social Justice Leadership. A gender studies scholar and global advocate for social justice, Emily has worked with communities in more than 20 countries and co-founded the Social Justice Initiative at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Her work includes contributing to a global treaty adopted by the United Nations and decades of leadership in advancing equity, gender justice, and human rights in the US and beyond.

Emily's Website

@heyemilyraquel on Instagram

Emily's Facebook page

Further reading for this episode

• Beyond Voting Podcast
• Emily R. Williams | LinkedIn

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Emily: It's like, but why didn't you already know your neighbors?

Emily: Why did you not already know your neighbors? Like, please be honest about that.

Emily: You know, and then while at the same time, it's like we have this loneliness epidemic.

Emily: Talk to your neighbors. Talk to the people around you. Put the phones down. You know what I mean?

Danny: Hi, and welcome to 5 Random Questions, the show with unexpected questions

Danny: and unfiltered answers.

Danny: I'm your host, Danny Brown. And each week, I'll be asking my guests five questions

Danny: created by a random question generator.

Danny: The guest has no idea what the questions are, and neither do I,

Danny: which means this could go either way.

Danny: So sit back, relax, and let's dive into this week's episode.

Danny: Today's guest is Emily Williams. Emily is a Webby, Signal, and Anthem award-winning

Danny: podcast host and former Executive Director of the Arcus Centre for Social Justice Leadership.

Danny: A gender studies scholar and global advocate for social justice,

Danny: Emily has worked with communities in more than 20 countries and co-founded the

Danny: Social Justice Initiative at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

Danny: Her work includes contributing to a global treaty adopted by the United Nations

Danny: and decades of leadership in advancing equity, gender justice,

Danny: and human rights in the US and beyond.

Danny: So, Emily, welcome to 5 Random Questions.

Emily: Thank you, Danny. I'm so excited to be here.

Danny: I'm excited to have you. And just going over your bio there in the introduction,

Danny: it's an incredibly impressive list of achievements and

Danny: reading on your website you previously worked

Danny: you know at a normal sort of 9-5 job but you mentioned it's like a really stifling

Danny: and unhealthy environment until you left and started to forge your own path

Danny: so I'm curious was that the push that led you to where you are today was it

Danny: like the environment that put you on that path for part of what you campaigned for now?

Emily: Interesting. Thank you. And thank you, Danny. I'm really excited to be here.

Emily: You know, I would say it's not that...

Emily: That position in particular that's gotten me to this path, I have noticed while

Emily: being on this path that women of color experience a lot of hostility and aggression in the workplace.

Emily: And there's plenty of research to support this, that women of color and Black

Emily: women in particular are the most harassed group in the workplace.

Emily: And so it's an area that is not often focused on.

Emily: And because I am someone who has a very strong sense of justice,

Emily: someone who has a lot of experience advocating for justice, I also know that

Emily: that then means that I need to advocate for justice in the workplace for myself and for others.

Danny: And I'd imagine, I don't live in the US and I'm of the stereotypical,

Danny: very privileged position of being a middle-page white guy.

Danny: I would imagine with changes at the government level, so different leaders come in.

Danny: So obviously you have Democrat, Republican, Republican, Democrat,

Danny: et cetera, and different leadership approaches, if you like.

Danny: How does that impact your work and what you're doing when you've got swing from

Danny: up here to down here and all the things in between?

Emily: Yeah, yeah, that's a really great question. Who's in office matters a lot for the work that I do.

Emily: You know, when we have someone who is really promoting, you know,

Emily: policies that make life more livable for people that, you know,

Emily: honor the integrity of all human lives, right?

Emily: My work is much easier when we have an administration who is hostile to other

Emily: human beings and who seeks to,

Emily: sow division and creates harmful policies makes my life well my work a lot more difficult and uh.

Emily: You know, that's a problem because, you know, number one, I think we're seeing

Emily: that the majority of Americans do not want these kinds of hostile,

Emily: harmful policies that we're seeing more of right now.

Emily: And actually, you know, the policies around or the emphasis on diversity,

Emily: equity and inclusion, respecting human rights, ending war, those policies,

Emily: you know, have been quite popular, actually.

Emily: And we see that now even with the election of Zoran Mamdani and across the country

Emily: where elected officials are trying to have these policies that represent a people

Emily: first mentality and a profit sometime later mentality, right?

Emily: Which we also have seen here in Chicago just recently with the city budget and

Emily: the mayor, you know, wanting to tax the largest corporations so that we could have,

Emily: you know, more funds to support the people who live in Chicago.

Danny: It is interesting. I'm not very well versed. I should say not versed. That's the wrong word.

Danny: I'm completely not very well versed in politics and, you know,

Danny: policies, etc. My friend in Toronto, Sam, really well, he studied it for years as well.

Danny: And it's always interesting to look at how different countries and governments, etc., approach things.

Danny: I know one of the big things here in Canada, not to get too political because

Danny: I do try to keep away from that.

Danny: One of the big things here in Canada is UBI, Universal Basic Income.

Danny: Do you feel that's something that maybe the US and other countries that haven't

Danny: adopted it may be thinking more of now as, you know, the world changes, I guess?

Emily: I don't know that governments are thinking about that so much,

Emily: but I know that activists are.

Emily: And especially as we see, you know, kind of this rise of artificial intelligence

Emily: and, you know, the predictions that AI is going to take over,

Emily: you know, so many jobs in the next, you know, one to three years.

Emily: Well, then the question remains, if a large sector of society is going to get

Emily: pushed out of the workforce, how will they then meet their basic needs if they're

Emily: not able to work for wages?

Emily: So that then pushes us into this conversation about universal basic income.

Emily: And here in Chicago, some places in Michigan and elsewhere in the U.S.,

Emily: there are some really interesting pilot programs around basic income.

Emily: And it's not surprising to someone like me and probably not to you either, Danny,

Emily: they work really well, right? Imagine that, you know, a family,

Emily: you know, who was previously low income can depend on having even $500 to $1,000

Emily: a month, and that they can actually plan to meet the needs of their family, right?

Emily: So I think that, you know, along as AI continues to rapidly advance,

Emily: I think that societies are going to be pushed into this conversation around

Emily: universal basic income.

Danny: Yeah, it'll be interesting to watch. I know when the lockdown happened,

Danny: the pandemic was in its prime, for want of a better word.

Danny: The Canadian government gave an amount of X amount of $1,000 per month to people

Danny: that needed it to top up income, etc.

Danny: And that made a huge difference. That kept so many families afloat and so many

Danny: houses not going under the hammer for auction, etc.

Danny: So I feel that there needs to be something like that for sure.

Emily: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just another form of stimulus, right,

Emily: of stimulating the economy, of bolstering the economy, really.

Emily: So we can start, you know, this goes back to the people first policies.

Emily: I think, Dani, honestly, I mean, I'm an optimist. I'm also a realist.

Emily: I think it's only a matter of time before we're seeing many more of these kinds

Emily: of policies that are much more humane, that are actually supporting people.

Emily: You know, at least here in the U.S., and I know that our policies aren't isolated

Emily: to, you know, the landmass of the United States.

Emily: I think we have at least a tough year, a few more tough months.

Emily: But after that, I think we're going to see much more humane,

Emily: much more just policies and approaches to governing.

Danny: Well, fingers crossed. I will. I'm 100% with you on that. Fingers crossed.

Danny: I'm crossing toes in hell. But yeah, I know we shall get you a wee,

Danny: well not wee, I'm not a royal wee I shall definitely get you back in the show,

Danny: we'll have a look at, you know Let's revisit this in say two,

Danny: three years time and see how things panned out Yeah

Danny: In the meantime though, I'm going to switch lanes and bring you into the 5 Random Questions

Danny: hot seat Are we ready for this Emily?

Emily: Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready Alrighty.

Danny: Let's bring up the random question generator

Danny: Okay. Yeah, I like this as a one to start, actually, with giving your background, actually.

Danny: So, Emily, question number one. Do you believe people are inherently good?

Emily: This might be controversial, Dani, but I do not. I do not believe people are inherently good. No.

Emily: I believe that there are some people who are good and great and super well-intentioned,

Emily: and I believe that there are some people who are not well-intentioned.

Emily: In fact, they are very malicious and have bad intent. I believe that.

Emily: I mean, I think, you know, I got asked a question similar to this in an interview a few months back.

Emily: But, you know, it's hard to believe that, you know, for instance,

Emily: what we're seeing play out here in the U.S.

Emily: That, you know, we could cause so much harm and to believe that the people who

Emily: are doing this repeatedly time and time again are inherently good.

Emily: And so I don't think, you know, I said earlier, I'm an optimist, but I'm also a realist.

Emily: I don't think there's anything wrong with that, right? I think it is okay.

Emily: I think we have to actually be able to prepare ourselves to say,

Emily: there are some people who have really bad intentions and we need to know that

Emily: so that we can navigate this life in a realistic way and in a healthy way.

Emily: Because I think when we believe that everyone is good, then people aren't held accountable.

Emily: You know, I think that's sometimes where we see things like toxic positivity

Emily: having a really negative impact, right?

Emily: It's like, no, some people are not good. Some things are really harmful.

Emily: There are some really negative things in the world and we have to be able to

Emily: address them so that we can come up with solutions, right?

Danny: It's interesting. As we recorded this on Thursday, January 8th,

Danny: the latest episode just dropped earlier today.

Danny: My guest on that, Rob Lynch, one of the questions he had was about...

Danny: It was a similar kind of question, but it was around about being good and bad.

Danny: And does power come from, does toxicity and power, et cetera,

Danny: come from if you have money early on or you work hard and you come from poverty

Danny: or not having a lot of money to start with.

Danny: So you work hard and you understand empathy and what it takes to be a good person,

Danny: show kindness, et cetera. do you feel sometimes that to your point that inherently

Danny: good is not in everyone do you think that sometimes comes from

Danny: background of how being raised you know and what obviously you know was there

Danny: money and power involved where you basically had anything you want so you didn't

Danny: really understand what it was like to be kind to others that were looking to

Danny: help you if that makes sense yeah

Emily: No I think that's a really interesting question you know this notion that like

Emily: well someone has early trauma you know and then that impacts their behavior

Emily: and the harm that they cause as an adult you know how do we understand that?

Emily: Or how do we consider that when we consider a person's actions?

Emily: And I do think, absolutely, childhood trauma or adversity, I think that certainly

Emily: has a lot to do with, or it certainly informs a person's behavior throughout

Emily: their life and into adulthood.

Emily: And people are at various stages of healing or not healing at any given time.

Emily: And at the same time, it cannot excuse any harm that's done, right?

Emily: So I think that we have to, you know, have create more spaces for people to

Emily: heal, to normalize talking about these kinds of things, to normalize like a healing process.

Emily: I mean, you know, really, it's only been in the last decade,

Emily: decade and a half, that therapy has really become more in the mainstream,

Emily: more normalized, right?

Emily: And some people are just starting to dip their toe into that world.

Emily: And Some have it, you know?

Emily: And so I think we also, and this is where, you know, we want to talk about like

Emily: narcissists or sociopaths, all these things.

Emily: Often there is a root cause of childhood trauma, right? Right.

Emily: But I think we also need to have, you know, some really well-defined points

Emily: of accountability, right?

Emily: So, Dani, here's like a, this is like one thing I'm thinking about, right?

Emily: You know, what has, I mean, we've all done things that, you know,

Emily: probably, you know, maybe our younger selves wouldn't stand by now,

Emily: or maybe we did things unintentionally that had a negative impact, right?

Emily: And, you know, when I think about like what causes people to change,

Emily: is it that someone was coddling you and said, I know that you're a great person.

Emily: You didn't mean it. And you had all these things.

Emily: Or was it the times when you had to face consequences for that negative behavior?

Emily: I mean, what causes change, right?

Emily: And I would say that more often than not, it's the consequences that create change, right?

Emily: And so, you know, when we see some of these, you know,

Emily: very powerful, very wealthy people who are creating harm,

Emily: even when they've had childhood trauma or childhood adversity,

Emily: part of the reason why they continue to create that harm is because they don't

Emily: have significant enough consequences right for their actions so i do believe

Emily: in compassion i do believe in empathy i also believe in accountability and consequences

Emily: uh and i believe in in ending harm that's.

Danny: A really important point i know um there's a lot of talk obviously about you

Danny: know helicopter parenting uh And it's my wife and I, we've got two kids, they're both teens now.

Danny: And it was always hard to, how far do you go to protect, but also how far do

Danny: you go to let them go on their own to understand, well, what you did was bad and this is why.

Danny: And then also make sure that they learn, you know, without pushing back.

Danny: Because, you know, as kids get older, the more a parent tells them we do one

Danny: thing, they'll push back and that.

Danny: So do you feel like not enough accountability happens at the family level And

Danny: this is probably simplifying it.

Danny: I apologise to anybody that feels that. I do apologise.

Danny: Do you feel sometimes families, educators, etc. have more...

Danny: Or should have more allowance to show accountability.

Danny: Because sometimes, you know, it's harder to discipline kids.

Danny: Obviously, you don't want to strike kids or anything.

Danny: But do you know what I'm trying to say? I feel like I'm struggling here.

Danny: I don't want to simplify it.

Emily: Yeah, no, I think I'm picking up what you're putting down. And one thing that

Emily: I've, I think it's a generational shift.

Emily: You know, I think about some of the ways that I was raised.

Emily: You know, tough love is a thing. You know, and I, and it was the thing that,

Emily: you know, we had rules, we had consequences, you know, we had high standards

Emily: and expectations for how we behave and how we treated one another and ourselves. Yeah.

Emily: And, you know, that extended to things like school, that extended to things

Emily: like athletics or extracurriculars.

Emily: And there's been a shift in that, like, we, I think it's gone too far in the

Emily: other direction of we can't, we can't, you know, ask kids to do things that

Emily: they don't feel comfortable with, right? Whether or not it's good for them.

Emily: You know, one thing that I think about a lot in sports is that like,

Emily: you know, I played basketball for a very long time and we got yelled at,

Emily: you know, we, you know, our coaches were tough on us.

Emily: We were really good. You know, uh, we have a lot of character,

Emily: but nowadays, you know, you can't do that.

Emily: You can't yell at kids, um, in athletics.

Emily: I'm not arguing for yelling that kids are not in sports, but I think that there's

Emily: an absence of, you know, an ethic of learning from adversity, right?

Emily: Navigating one's way through things and struggling a bit.

Emily: You know, everything shouldn't be easy, right? And everything shouldn't also

Emily: be about an individual's comfort level, right?

Emily: Because then we see hyper-individualization, right?

Emily: Where's the collective values, right? Where's the community building?

Emily: A lot of young people nowadays don't have those skills, right?

Emily: It's very difficult for them to engage with a new person at the grocery store, right?

Emily: These things aren't normal. We should be able to say hello, look a person in

Emily: the eye at the grocery store, right?

Emily: And also, you know, going back to what I said earlier, people more often than

Emily: not learn from consequences, right?

Emily: As opposed to, well, let's just make everything easy, everything nice.

Emily: You're lovable. I love you. All of that is, of course, but we also have to have the consequences.

Emily: And I think, you know, maybe we don't have to go to the extreme of like,

Emily: you know, sometimes tough love can be abused, you know, but there's also something

Emily: very real and useful about that notion of tough love of like, I love you.

Emily: And so you need to develop, you know, this character skill, right?

Emily: I know it's uncomfortable for you to speak to people at the grocery store,

Emily: but you're going to need to put your phone down, look people in the eye,

Emily: say hello, say thank you, right? Hold the door open for someone.

Emily: You know, I think that we've gotten away from some of those kinds of niceties,

Emily: maybe even, is a problem.

Emily: Because now it's like, you know, at least in the activist world.

Emily: You hear so much about, well, we have to build community, build where you are.

Emily: It's like, but why didn't you already know your neighbors?

Emily: Why did you not already know your neighbors? Please be honest about that.

Emily: And then while at the same time, it's like we have this loneliness epidemic.

Emily: Talk to your neighbors, talk to the people around you, put the phones down. You know what I mean?

Emily: Maybe it's a little awkward. That's okay.

Emily: That's an experience too. You know, so,

Emily: you know, going back to your question about is the parenting,

Emily: you know, helicopter parenting or like the we're not going to make them do anything

Emily: kind of parenting is I do think that we're not doing I think we're doing our kids a disservice.

Emily: I think that kids need consequences. They need structure.

Emily: They need love. And they got to get outside of their comfort zone.

Emily: And that often takes a nudge from parents and other supportive adults around them.

Danny: No, I'd say that's a great answer. And you more eloquently stated it than I

Danny: was trying to say. So I thank you for that, Emily.

Danny: So that was definitely an interesting one to open up proceedings with.

Danny: Let's have a look at what question number two brings up.

Emily: Okay.

Danny: Question number two, Emily. What was, as in past tense, what was your saddest moment?

Emily: Oh, my God. Why? I feel like I'm getting serious questions.

Emily: Um you know danny and i i think i might i may feel really sad right i do feel

Emily: sad about it right now but um my best friend um disappeared from a yoga retreat

Emily: um in the summer 2024 and um,

Emily: it was the kind of situation where from you know from the first um conversation

Emily: with authorities she was in the Bahamas.

Emily: So the first conversation with authorities, it was automatically suspect,

Emily: right? Things didn't sound right.

Emily: And so myself and my friend's mother and a few other people,

Emily: we went to the Bahamas and, you know, we tried to figure out what was happening.

Emily: And that ended up being a long process because, you know, there was no real investigation.

Emily: Investigation we weren't able to like really we're having a

Emily: hard time getting people to do their jobs

Emily: essentially like you know um i'm not a police officer but i know the basic things

Emily: that you need to do in order to have an effective investigation right so um

Emily: you know it's it's been the saddest moment without a doubt and i'll say this too is that um.

Emily: Taylor was my best friend for about 16 years, you know, and that's been about

Emily: the majority of my adult life.

Emily: And, you know, for someone who's not married, who doesn't have children,

Emily: you know, my best friend was my person.

Emily: You know, Taylor was my person. You know, everything, every life milestone,

Emily: you know, from the big things to the small things, you know.

Emily: And so I miss her immensely.

Emily: And it also just remains like a huge sense of injustice.

Emily: Number one, it's like, why did that happen to my best friend?

Emily: And then two, Taylor is black and trans.

Emily: And we are quite sure that it was an act of violence rooted in anti-blackness,

Emily: rooted in transphobia, which led to her disappearance.

Emily: And so that's another layer of...

Emily: You know, I guess I could say sadness is probably at the root of it,

Emily: but it's also just a lot of anger, you know, it's like, that's not right.

Emily: Nobody should be treated that way, you know, and trans people have a right to

Emily: be who they are, just like we all do, you know, and, you know,

Emily: despite so many efforts.

Emily: And for me, someone like me, who's my entire career has been devoted to social justice, you know?

Emily: And so, um, there's just another level of frustration and sadness.

Emily: Um, but that's without a doubt. I mean, I miss my best friend every day, you know?

Emily: And in some ways it's like, you know, I still have these moments of like, is it real?

Emily: You know, cause you know, also you have a bond with someone when you're so close

Emily: with someone, when they're your person, you know, You feel them so deeply,

Emily: right? The connection and the bond is so deep.

Emily: And thank goodness that things like that don't go away. You know,

Emily: the connection and that bond, at least that doesn't go away.

Emily: But I want my friend, you know, I want her here with me.

Danny: One, I'm really, truly sorry for that happening.

Danny: Thank you. And I can't even begin to imagine, you know, what that would feel

Danny: like and did feel like at the time as well.

Danny: Was there ever any closure?

Danny: Was there anything on the case that was closed or is it still outstanding?

Danny: If you don't mind me asking.

Emily: Yeah, no, it's OK. It's still technically an open investigation,

Emily: but, you know, they're not actively investigating her disappearance.

Emily: You know the only thing and I said this in the press conference it's all over

Emily: social media but the only reason why anything happened is because we pushed

Emily: for it to happen you know and thank goodness that,

Emily: media here in Chicago, in the U.S., and also some media in the Bahamas were

Emily: really supportive to really push it forward and to raise awareness about what happened.

Emily: And those kinds of things made the authorities do something.

Emily: But like I said, and I've said this from the very beginning,

Emily: you can look at what the authorities said that they did and tell that they were

Emily: not trying to find out what happened to Taylor.

Emily: And so people know, people know what happened.

Emily: You know, I believe that people who were at that yoga retreat,

Emily: who are part of the authorities in the Bahamas, probably who are,

Emily: you know, somehow just part of like street culture in the Bahamas,

Emily: I think they know exactly.

Emily: And so, you know, my hope is that people will just come forward and say,

Emily: listen, this is what happened. This is what we saw.

Emily: You know, I hope that at some point someone's brave enough to do that, you know?

Emily: Yeah. So otherwise, no, we don't know. There hasn't been closure in terms of

Emily: having the details of what actually happened.

Danny: Yeah. Well, I mean, hopefully, and I don't want this to sound glib 100%,

Danny: hopefully, you know, there will be some form of closure for you and Taylor's family and loved ones.

Danny: Because, like I said, I can't even imagine, begin to imagine what that must

Danny: have been like. I'm really glad you got to spend 16 amazing years by the sounds of it with Taylor.

Danny: And obviously you've got fantastic memories to take forward of Taylor so that's

Danny: always something like you say when you have that bond, it's always nice to have

Danny: that for the moments when you need it most, right?

Emily: Right, right, right, right, yeah, that doesn't change, you know?

Danny: 100%, well, thank you for sharing that, I'm really, truly sorry for that and

Danny: sorry for that question popping up but I appreciate your answering, Emily, thank you Yeah,

Emily: Yeah, no problem.

Danny: Let's look to switch things over um as you mentioned that's kind of two serious

Danny: quiet kind of questions there i

Emily: Know it's got silly.

Danny: So let's uh let's have let's have

Danny: a look um this one i like this one actually um because it's i'm a bit of a geek

Danny: at heart um i love superheroes etc so emily question number three if you could

Danny: choose and this has been in an episode before but i really do i'm really curious

Danny: about yours so far so emily if you could choose to have any useless superpower. What would you pick?

Emily: Any useless superpower. What would I pick? Any useless superpower.

Emily: Um you know i think honestly i would just like fly would you class.

Danny: That as useless though

Emily: No that's not useless no you're you're right that's not i.

Danny: Feel like it'd be kind of cool we like save on planes and stuff and people on

Danny: planes that you don't like

Emily: Right right and just hang out in the air you know in the sky um what would be

Emily: like what would be an example of a useless superpower, like being able to read people's minds?

Danny: I guess it depends how you're going to use it, right?

Danny: But maybe if having like, I mean, I don't know, I'm trying to think of the answer

Danny: that my guest shared that time when this question popped up,

Danny: but maybe something like, you could be the world's strongest person,

Danny: but you can't do anything unless you use your pinky or something.

Danny: Okay. I mean, that's not the answer. That's an example.

Danny: But yeah, I guess a useful superpower Or be something that's just no fun to have.

Danny: Like, you could be invisible, which is awesome. But then you could be like,

Danny: yeah, I don't know, like invisible.

Danny: But also, you've got a very, very quiet voice. So people can't hear you.

Danny: Or you've got a really loud voice. Like, that's better.

Danny: You've got a really loud voice. And people know you're there anyway.

Emily: Okay, okay. Let me see about this. I think if I could have any useless superpower...

Emily: You know, I just sometimes like I like to, I'm thinking about my dad here.

Emily: I like to kind of say things to just get like a rise out of him,

Emily: you know, and then I like to just kind of like make a joke out of it,

Emily: you know, like real like youngest daughter stuff.

Emily: I would like to do that, you know, to be able to like, you know,

Emily: like, you know, maybe like,

Emily: um, help someone see something that they, um, is maybe like a,

Emily: like an irritant for them or something.

Emily: Maybe it's kind of irrational, but then just like, did not have to like,

Emily: have the consequences of it, be able to like, see it play out,

Emily: you know, like, that's what I love doing about like my father,

Emily: like I, I was home over the holidays and, um, he has like a very clean house

Emily: and a very clean kitchen.

Emily: And, um, I made a joke that I warmed up, um, some like lasagna in the microwave and it exploded.

Emily: And he was like, you know, popped up from the couch so quick, you know?

Emily: And it was my brother and I thought it was hilarious, you know?

Emily: And, um, Um, after that, that was like one of the early days that I was there

Emily: after that, he like, he chilled out a little bit, you know, he wasn't on everybody

Emily: about, well, get your dishes done, you know, clean the kitchen, all these things.

Emily: And so I think if there's a way, if I can have a superpower of like helping

Emily: people see like, this is where you're wound very tightly, you know,

Emily: but then not have them like be able to project it onto me was because you did whatever.

Emily: I think maybe that would be my superpower of like, you're wound really tightly right here.

Emily: I'm going to like have a superpower of revealing it to you, but you're not going

Emily: to be able to make it about me, you know?

Danny: I do like that because it's still got kindness associated with it because originally

Danny: when you're trying to wind people up, it's trying to get, like you say,

Danny: get a rise out of them, which could get them really frustrated and ruin their day, obviously.

Danny: But I do like that you sort of spin it back to where, you know,

Danny: even though you've not got accountability, you know, shame on you from your

Danny: previous answer, but no accountability on that one.

Danny: But yeah, I like how it's like maybe even helping them understand,

Danny: hey, you've got this wheel a little bit wound tightly up.

Danny: This is how you can maybe, you know, do you really need to be that way?

Emily: Right. Is it really serving you?

Danny: Yeah. I mean, it would suck. I've had stuff explode in the microwave before

Danny: and it sucks. You've got to clean it up, but it's not fun.

Danny: And then you can't eat it or maybe you can. I don't know. It depends on the explosion.

Emily: You have to scrape it off the sides.

Danny: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But yeah, I wouldn't want that to ruin my day because

Danny: someone else did it, right?

Danny: I understand it's his house and he wants it to be a certain way, etc.

Emily: Right, right, right.

Danny: And my guest on the first episode of this new season, Keisha TK Dutez,

Danny: she was mentioning about her mom, who's from Jamaica, about,

Danny: you know, having, you know, plastic on the sofa and everything.

Danny: Sounds similar, like a generational thing again, going back to your generational comment there.

Emily: Right, right, right, right. and it's like you know how can you respect with

Emily: also like but we want it to be just a little bit different you know or like

Emily: there's a different way maybe of doing it like have you considered it you know.

Danny: Well i like that i think that's i think that class is more than classes as a

Danny: useless superpower but one that brings value which is always a nice thing to

Danny: have so i like that one okay okay let's have a look at what question number

Danny: four brings up okay okay i'm going to ask this,

Danny: because we were kind of chatting in the green room earlier before recording,

Danny: Emily. So question number four.

Danny: Do you prefer to travel or stay close to home?

Emily: That's a really good question. I...

Emily: It's tough because I'm like the kind of person, I travel a lot.

Emily: And I would always notice that just before like a trip, I would like have this

Emily: kind of like nerve and anxiety of like, oh, I just want to stay home.

Emily: You know, it's so comfy. I love it so much. I want to hang out with my friends here.

Emily: And then when I would get out in the world or arrive at my destination,

Emily: I would be like, I'm never going back.

Emily: So that tension is real for me. But I think that I would prefer to travel.

Emily: I mean, the world is so big, you know, and there are so many beautiful places

Emily: and people and things to see and experience and like learn from that.

Emily: I would say, certainly I would rather travel.

Emily: I, I, you know, I live in Chicago and I love it so much.

Emily: And, um, there still are so many places that I want to see in the world,

Emily: experience people I want to connect with.

Emily: And, you know, what I also really love about traveled is the anonymity of it.

Emily: You know, it's like, okay, I'm like over here somewhere else in the world where

Emily: I've never been, no one knows me.

Emily: And, um, I find a real freedom in that.

Emily: And then I also find like a real, uh, like heartwarming affirmation and the

Emily: kinds of connections that we're able to make with people, um,

Emily: who we've ever met, who we have zero familiarity with in terms of culture or society.

Emily: And those are the kinds of experiences that really make me, you know,

Emily: feel like, um, that are so valuable in life, you know,

Emily: and, and really drive me, they really actually drive my sense of justice,

Emily: you know, and my sense of community of like, you know, we're all out here,

Emily: you know, we're all humans here trying to do, trying to live our lives in like

Emily: the best way that we can, you know.

Emily: And, yeah, so, and, you know, and so when I, you know, see things,

Emily: decisions, policies, people who infringe upon that, like, basic aspect of humanity

Emily: or that basic humanity, it's like, I just feel like we really feel so much urgency

Emily: around trying to protect that,

Emily: you know, and not only protect it, but increase it for people.

Danny: It's interesting that you mentioned about the anonymity, anonymity,

Danny: put my words correct there.

Danny: And I'm just thinking back to your earlier answer about how,

Danny: you know, we don't speak to our neighbours or people in the grocery store, etc.

Danny: People easily speak to people, complete strangers, on a beach,

Danny: you know, hiking up a mountain or whatever.

Danny: I guess you've got to speak to people hiking up a mountain.

Danny: It's a bit more isolated.

Danny: Do you think it's just because you're on holiday, you're on vacation,

Danny: you're in a different place as opposed to your local neighborhood?

Danny: Do you think that's maybe why it's a little bit easier to just say hi and strike

Danny: up a conversation with a complete stranger from a completely other part of the world?

Emily: I think that's true for some people, for sure.

Emily: Yeah, I think that, you know, I mean, I just also want to say,

Emily: like, I know my neighbors, you know, but there's also an intimacy that comes

Emily: with that, you know. So I know my neighbors.

Emily: They know things about me just because we live near one another.

Emily: And so I think that can be really uncomfortable for people.

Emily: And even when I, to maintain our rapport, I got to say hi to my neighbors even

Emily: when I'm really feeling like not talking to anybody or whatever the case may be.

Emily: Or when I'm frustrated with my dog, you know, I still have to say hi to my neighbors, you know?

Emily: So, um, I think there's like an intimacy that people can be really uncomfortable

Emily: with because you got to see those people again and again and again.

Emily: And I think when people are traveling, one, I think traveling,

Emily: you know, I think even though people will maybe be cautious and.

Emily: Protective, there's, it's also disarming in ways, you know, because everything's

Emily: new, it's exciting and it's affirming in so many ways.

Emily: So I think people are just often in a better mood while traveling.

Emily: And I think it's time bound, you know?

Emily: And so people know, all right, I'm going to be on the beach here for two days

Emily: and I'm going to make best friends with this, you know, the person who's serving

Emily: me, you know, food and beverages or, you know,

Emily: our taxi driver, we're going to like, you know, have the same taxi driver for

Emily: the whole time that we're here.

Emily: So I do think that that's easier. And I also just, I also think that.

Emily: Obviously not every other country, but in so many other countries,

Emily: human connection is much deeper and much more regular part of society.

Emily: So you go to a lot of cultures where there's all kinds of people out in public

Emily: and everybody's talking to everybody and the expectation or the cultural standard

Emily: is that, you know, people stick together, people support one another.

Emily: And so that extends to the tourists who are there as well.

Emily: And so I think that also makes it easier because, you know, one is in this environment

Emily: where this is just the standard.

Emily: This is just how it happens, right? And so, you know, even for people who are

Emily: reluctant at first, you know, you can only be immersed in an environment or

Emily: culture for so long and resist it, right?

Emily: You know, it takes so much more energy to resist a culture like that than it

Emily: does just be like oh hey let's connect let's talk you know all these things.

Danny: Yeah i i hear you on that my friend

Danny: um sam who had mentioned earlier actually um who's and you know learned politics

Danny: etc etc um he turned 50 back in 2018 and we went to scotland uh for his 50th

Danny: and it was just like just the two of us uh just like uh we did like a 30, 12, 13-day jaunt.

Danny: So the first half was like a whiskey tasting tour up in the highlands of Scotland, which was awesome.

Emily: Yeah.

Danny: And then the second half was sightseeing. And what Sam loved,

Danny: because he's born and bred Canadian and lived in Toronto for the majority of

Danny: his life, works in Toronto.

Danny: So it's a really busy city, obviously. Yeah.

Danny: And people are generally heads down, getting to their business,

Danny: place they work at, et cetera.

Danny: When we were in Scotland, when we'd go out for dinner on an evening and watch

Danny: football on the TV, all the locals would invite us over and just like

Danny: Say hiya when you walked in the door. Ask him, you know, where you're from?

Danny: How's your day's been? What do you want to drink?

Danny: Here, you should eat that and that. And he was blown away. He said,

Danny: you would never, ever get that in a downtown bar in Toronto, for example.

Danny: So just to your point on like a really simple level, it's a great example that you use there.

Emily: Yeah, yeah. Thank you. And now, Danny, you're like, you're kind of stirring up my desire to travel.

Emily: I have been like holding off for a little while. And I'm like,

Emily: it might be time to get back out in the world.

Danny: What's your ideal, like, if you could choose your preferred vacation?

Danny: Is it, like, something that's busy and really full itinerary?

Danny: Or do you like to sort of just switch off, relax?

Emily: In my ideal travel, Dani, is I like to have a little bit of, like,

Emily: you know, if we can get, like, a solid two weeks on a trip, then I want to spend

Emily: one week in the city, and I want to spend...

Emily: Probably about five days at the beach.

Emily: I just, you know, call it what you want. I love a beach and,

Emily: you know, being by the ocean, sometimes it just feels so spiritual and to,

Emily: you know, kind of slow down after having been in the city, going to the cultural sites,

Emily: you know, connecting with people, learning about things.

Emily: And I've also, you know, I've worked globally.

Emily: And so having the meetings in the city, you know, following that up with some, some quiet beach time.

Emily: And maybe it's not always so quiet, you know, but, you know,

Emily: being able to be in the natural beauty and have that like reflection,

Emily: feel the connection to the ocean and to the people who are nearby.

Emily: That's how I prefer to do it. Yeah.

Danny: I feel I think I'd be a bit similar. Like I say, we moved from a big city to

Danny: a really small village and we're about a 15 minute walk from like a big lake.

Danny: So you can go there and you can kayak and canoe, just swim, do whatever you want, basically.

Danny: And I tend to find it in the summer especially not so

Danny: much in the winter they're a lot harder to do but in the summer it's

Danny: just nice if I've had like a really stressful day at work or whatever just

Danny: get out on the lake for an hour and it just brings me right back down again

Danny: so nice so I'm with you 100% on that with the water side things yeah yeah good

Danny: well hopefully you'll get off to that that very soon and let me know how it

Danny: went and where you went and what you got up to that'd be awesome I

Emily: Will I will.

Danny: So we're almost at the end, Emily. We've done well so far.

Danny: Let's have a look then to see what question number five brings up.

Emily: Okay, what is that?

Danny: Question number five. And this could go either way because obviously because

Danny: of your work, there may be photos that you take for work.

Danny: It may be nice and relaxing with your dog and Christmas, etc.

Danny: But question number five, Emily. What was the last picture you took on your phone?

Emily: Oh, that's interesting. Can I look?

Danny: Yeah, yeah.

Emily: Let me look.

Danny: I would never know what it was. I'd have to check anyway.

Emily: Uh, let me see here. That's the last picture I took on my phone.

Emily: Oh, okay. It was, um, I have a dog and I have a cat.

Emily: My cat is, uh, she just turned 17 in human years in November.

Emily: Um, and my dog is four. And so it's been, um, they weren't automatically friends.

Emily: Um, But just recently, they have been coming in closer proximity with one another.

Emily: And so the last, the most recent picture that I took is a picture of the three

Emily: of us on just relaxing on the couch.

Emily: My cat's on my lap and then my dog is right next to me with his head very close to the cat.

Emily: And so it's a sweet moment because when I got the dog, you know,

Emily: everyone was like, oh, the dog and the cat aren't going to get along,

Emily: you know, whatever, whatever.

Emily: And I was just holding out. I was like, I'm just holding out for that day when

Emily: I come home and they're actually cuddling.

Emily: And so I think we're getting closer and closer to that moment.

Emily: So I took a picture and that was like really good for them to be so close.

Emily: It was also just sweet, you know.

Danny: Well, that's it because, I mean, obviously you've got the stereotypical dogs

Danny: versus cats and they're not compatible.

Danny: And you've had the cat longer, I guess.

Emily: Yeah, yeah. I've had her for 16 years and she's 17.

Danny: 17, yeah. So I guess, I mean, I can understand. How long have you had your dog?

Danny: You mentioned you've got a good sized dog, right?

Emily: Yeah, he's a big guy. Four? Yeah, he's four. And so I've had it for like three and a half years.

Danny: Right. Yeah. So I could imagine that'd be a big, if the cat,

Danny: was the cat always just the on the pet in the house? Yeah.

Danny: Yeah. Yeah. That's, I can get the cat's point of view here because I'm very,

Danny: I'm a grumpy Scotsman Gen Xer.

Danny: So I can get the cat's point of view. It's like, this is my zone.

Danny: This is my time with Emily. Who are you?

Emily: Right, right, right. Like you're still here.

Danny: Yeah, exactly. I know we've got three little dogs.

Danny: They're all the same breed. and we had one, we had three dogs prior and our

Danny: two boy dogs passed. They got old and passed.

Danny: So we waited a while, then we got two other dogs and there's mother and son, which is awesome.

Danny: But the dog we had in the house with the two previous boy dogs took a while to adapt.

Danny: You know, like her domain, she was used to two older boys and now you've got

Danny: like a lady dog that's younger than her, but it's a mum and the puppy's like

Danny: really rambunctious. so it was a big change you know for her

Emily: And i think too like for dogs especially like you know they have little emotions

Emily: and so like i think they also get a little jealous like at least i know my dog

Emily: does i mean that's part of the reason why he came on the couch is because my cat came on,

Emily: sat in my lap first the next thing you know here he is giving me those puppy

Emily: dog eyes asking to come up on the couch because he sees that the cat's getting attention,

Emily: So I think for dogs, too, it's like, you know, they're sensitive to that.

Danny: No, no. I know the girl dog that I mentioned, she growls if I'm petting.

Danny: No, no, that doesn't seem like a nasty way. But it's like that jealousy that

Danny: you mentioned, like the jealousy.

Danny: It's like you're talking to someone, you're petting someone else.

Danny: I'm your dog. You know, pet me, pet me.

Danny: So cats are special. Cats are so independent. Like, you know, don't mess with cats.

Emily: Right, right. Don't mess with cats. And I feel like she, my cat really helped

Emily: me train the dog because, um, you know, the dog, you know, sometimes it may

Emily: be like really rambunctious running through the house, chasing a tennis ball. Um,

Emily: Next thing you know, here she comes around the corner with a paw,

Emily: like just waiting for him, you know.

Emily: And so he learned, you know, you don't just tear through the place.

Emily: You've got to slow down and then check the corners, you know.

Danny: Yeah, exactly. I've watched, one of my vices, if you like, is just like scrolling

Danny: through a bunch of reels.

Danny: I get sucked into like that vortex where you just go through reel after reel or short after short.

Danny: And I always get stuck on the videos where you've got cats that are taking revenge on dogs.

Danny: Where dogs are playing they're getting a bit close whatever and it's just like

Danny: the super fast 10 swings of the arm really quickly and like even big dobermans

Danny: and alsatian stuff are just off you know this little cat has scared them away yeah

Emily: I know right exactly because i you know my dog is a he's an 80 pound german

Emily: shepherd mix and my cat i mean she's actually pretty little you know she's you

Emily: know on a good day she's nine pounds um but she's not scared of that guy i'll

Emily: tell you that but the other way around yes.

Danny: You should get like a little camera installed like one of these indoor security

Danny: cameras and just see what they get up to they're probably just having the best

Danny: day of their life while you're at work or out you know and then it's only when

Danny: you come up the driveway and up there the pathway etc though they'll get back

Danny: to you know just get back to who we are right

Emily: Right right right yeah she's here.

Danny: Exactly well that is awesome and i I think it's a nice way to finish off your

Danny: time in the random question hot seat, Alice. I do appreciate that.

Danny: As is only fair, because I've had you, you know, on the pressure point,

Danny: if you like, of the hot seat.

Danny: As is only fair, it's now time to hand over the question, Master, but on to yourself.

Emily: Okay. All right, Danny. Okay, so my question for you is...

Emily: As a result of doing all of these interviews with people, have you noticed that

Emily: there's something that everyone has in common,

Emily: like similarities or like what have you noticed about like people in this kind

Emily: of experience with these random questions with an interviewer, you know?

Danny: That's a really good question. I think one of the common threads is you're all

Danny: silly enough to come on the show and put yourself in the horsey.

Danny: I'm joking. that no one of the i think it's been really refreshing to see how

Danny: open people are um because generally and you've got your own podcast emily and

Danny: you've been on you know countless interviews

Danny: Um you know yourself sometimes as much as we don't want to we try to present

Danny: the best version of ourselves whether that's on social speaking to each other

Danny: on a podcast whatever that looks like

Danny: and you may come in with you know i've done it myself i've been guilty of

Danny: myself coming in with prepared sort of if i

Danny: get asked this this is going to be my soundbite moment where i can say

Danny: this for example and i feel because of the

Danny: form of the show um guests come in

Danny: to know that a i'm i'm not trying to have a

Danny: gotcha moment with you so you know i want to make sure

Danny: we were talking earlier about you know comforts and comfort zones

Danny: etc i want to show you're comfortable and i think that's um

Danny: the guests that come on because they know the format and they

Danny: know that it's going to be completely random i think every

Danny: guest i feel is probably a good open-minded

Danny: person it doesn't mind being vulnerable we

Danny: shared a vulnerable moment of your own earlier so it's it's it's been nice to

Danny: to just speak to people and have a conversation that hopefully if we were to

Danny: bump at each other on vacation for example you know stuff like this would happen

Danny: so yeah i feel that the most common thread is an openness to

Danny: See where a conversation goes and go with that flow as opposed to trying to

Danny: make it structured and X, Y, Z.

Danny: And so far, everybody's been super nice and super, you know,

Danny: super easy to chat with, like your good self, which helps me and makes my job a lot easier.

Danny: So thank you for that. And I feel that. Does that answer? Does that make sense?

Emily: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. That's great. Thank you. Seems like a fun,

Emily: like, role that you have, you know, like, okay, a random question.

Emily: You know random answers like what are people going to say you know.

Danny: Well and that's it it can be a little bit tough at times because if the answer

Danny: if the question sorry not the answer if the question doesn't

Danny: equate to like a an answer that's

Danny: maybe one minute long i think well do i follow up and go

Danny: another direction with that question or do i i just say you know

Danny: what let's call it a day on that question let's go next one so it can be fun

Danny: trying to you know keep the conversation going but you know for the most part

Danny: it's it's really really super enjoyable when i get to meet us and folks like

Danny: yourself and and just basically i have you know a conversation about five real

Danny: or six I guess really cool random things so yeah

Emily: Yeah okay exciting well I'm excited for you to keep this work up and thank you

Emily: thank you yeah yeah and I'll say for me too it's it's nice to be out of kind

Emily: of like the structured environment you know of like what am I talking points

Emily: you know like what do we got to say now you know so.

Danny: No I can imagine and especially for the work you do Emily I

Danny: can imagine sometimes I mean I'm not sure but maybe sometimes you know depending

Danny: on political bias slants etc some interviewers may be trying to put you down

Danny: a rabbit hole that you don't necessarily want to be going but their question

Danny: in line might try place you there so yeah that's one of the reasons I try to

Danny: keep you know political bias out of the show completely

Danny: and just have a nice conversation obviously it's important to speak about policies

Danny: and you know and stuff like that for sure right uh but yeah well i would love

Danny: to do a like a live show sometime just get the audience to actually ask the

Danny: questions because then it's really random

Danny: it'd be cool yeah

Emily: So we'll see yeah that would be awesome yeah like a live recording and you know

Emily: funnily enough like i actually really enjoy asking kind of like random questions

Emily: and i grew up playing 20 questions with my mom you know and so it just it's

Emily: like a fun it's a fun thing to do And I think-

Emily: We need things that are just purely entertainment and lighthearted and fun,

Emily: but it also actually really does help with critical thinking skills, you know?

Danny: Yep. Oh yeah, I can 100% agree on that for sure.

Danny: So Emily, as I mentioned, and thank you again for that question.

Danny: I have really enjoyed chatting with you today.

Danny: For people that want to A, listen to your award-winning podcast,

Danny: B, find out more about the work that you do and see, even talk to you about,

Danny: you know, working with you, where's the best place to check all that stuff out,

Danny: connect with you, et cetera?

Emily: Yeah. Well, to connect with me directly, people should go to LinkedIn and search

Emily: for Emily R. Williams, Chicago.

Emily: I will come up and to listen to the podcast. It is beyond voting everywhere you stream podcasts.

Danny: That is awesome. As always, I will leave the links to that in the show notes.

Danny: So whatever app you're listening on or if you're listening to this on the website

Danny: just check out the episode show notes and that will link through to emily's

Danny: linkedin as well as a podcasting website so all the stuff will be in there in

Danny: the show notes so make sure you check them out so again emily thanks for appearing

Danny: on today's 5 Random Questions yes

Emily: Thank you so much danny.

Danny: Thanks for listening to 5 Random Questions and if this was your first time

Danny: here feel free to hit follow and check out past episodes if you enjoyed this

Danny: week's episode i'd love for you to leave a review on the app you're currently

Danny: listening on or if you know someone else that would enjoy the show be sure to

Danny: send us away it's very much appreciated until the next time keep asking those questions