Bonne soirée europe! Good evening Europe!

It's time for the annual Eurovision Song Contest, a concept quite alien to many parts of the world, and many British people too. A time to come together as a continent (and Australia) and celebrate everything that unites us, in song.

Only, it turns out, not everyone likes each other, and no one likes the UK.

It's Phylecia's first experience of Eurovision. Paul has given off vibes that are totally unfounded this year so Phylecia has some hard truths about what the UK needs to consider going forward.