Miss Florida 2026, Alexandra de Roos, joins James to share her remarkable journey from elite ballet training in New York City to overcoming a traumatic brain injury that changed her life. Alexandra opens up about losing her dream career, rebuilding her identity, battling post concussion syndrome, and discovering a new purpose through neuroscience, psychology, and service.

She discusses founding The Blue Project, her national advocacy work in brain injury awareness, and the mental toughness it took to compete at Miss Florida and Miss America—where she earned the prestigious Quality of Life Award. This episode dives into resilience, identity, pressure, healing, and the 4 C’s of mental toughness through Alexandra’s powerful story of perseverance and purpose.

Key Topics:

Alexandra de Roos' background in ballet and psychology

The impact of a severe concussion on her life and career

Her journey through injury, recovery, and advocacy

The four C's of mental toughness: confidence, control, commitment, challenge

Her nonprofit, the Blue Project, and brain injury awareness initiatives

The role of mindset and resilience in overcoming setbacks Her experience in the Miss Florida and Miss America pageants

The importance of purpose and community service in personal growth

Sound Bites:

"Mental toughness is about resilience and mindset."

"Winning the Quality of Life Award was an indescribable moment."

"Get comfortable with the uncomfortable to grow."

About the Guest: Alexandra de Roos is a brain injury education advocate, nonprofit founder, motivational speaker, and the 90th Anniversary Miss Florida 2026. She is a student in the Judy Genshaft Honors College at the University of South Florida, where she is pursuing a degree in psychology on the pre-medical track with plans to become a neuropsychiatrist specializing in the care of patients with traumatic brain injuries. A lifelong dancer, Alexandra trained at the prestigious School of American Ballet in New York City after moving there at age 14 to pursue a professional ballet career. She also grew up in the Miss America Opportunity, where she discovered her passion for leadership, service, and community impact.

At 16, she founded Peace Love Leotards, a nonprofit that has provided more than $50,000 worth of dancewear to aspiring dancers around the world. After a severe traumatic brain injury ended her ballet career in 2021, Alexandra transformed her recovery into a mission of advocacy by founding The Blue Project: Integrating Neuroscience and the Arts Inc., a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to brain injury education, resilience, and the healing power of the arts. Through legislative advocacy, hospital outreach, public speaking, and educational initiatives, she has impacted thousands nationwide while serving on Florida’s Brain Injury Advisory Board and the Brain Injury Association of America’s Speaker’s Bureau.

Alexandra is dedicated to advancing brain injury awareness, empowering survivors, and pursuing a future in medicine where she can continue serving the community that forever changed her life.

About the Host: James Blasco is a CTA Certified Coach, and a Certified Functional Mental Toughness and Resilience coach, and a Certified Neuroscience Coach based in Ormond Beach, Florida, with a rich background in sales, media, and entrepreneurship. Throughout his career, James has excelled in sales and sales coaching for some of the largest media companies, owned three successful businesses, and worked in media relations in the NFL. His diverse experiences have equipped him with a deep understanding of leadership, communication, and the drive needed to achieve success. James is also trained specifically to coach to all aspects of mental toughness and resilience.

Resources: Website: www.chargeforwardcoaching.com LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/chargeforwardcoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChargeForwardCoaching/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chargeforwardcoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ChargeForwardCoaching

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/ChargeForwardCoaching

Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/ChargeForwardCoaching

The Blue Project:https://www.alexandraderoos.org/theblueproject

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Charge Forward Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, James Blasco Of course, we're gonna talk all things mental toughness and the four C's of mental toughness. And we have a very special guest with us today. She's the reigning Miss Florida, Alexandra de Roos She is from the west side of Florida. I'm from the east side of Florida. We're all very proud of her and her performance in the recent Miss America pageant where she won the Quality of Life Award. And she just has an amazing story

It really dials into the mental toughness factors that we always talk about on this program. So, Alexandra, welcome to the program.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah. Well again, congratulations. We're also proud of you and your your efforts there in the Miss America pageant and I'm sure that was a very exciting time for you. why don't we start with the basics? Just give us a little

bit about your background and and how you got to where you are today.

Yes, so

Currently I am an honors student in the Judy Genshaft Honors College at the University of South Florida, pursuing a degree in psychology on the pre-medical track. I'm a nonprofit founder of the Blue Project Integrating Neuroscience and the Arts Inc., which focuses on brain injury awareness, fostering resilience, and promoting the healing power of the arts. I'm a it's inspired by my own experience with the traumatic brain injury. And then I also consider myself to still be a dancer. I started training at the age of two and a half, pre-professionally at age 11, and I

moved to New York by myself at 14 to train at the School of American Ballet in New York City, which is the feeder school for the New York City Ballet at Lincoln Center. So that's a little bit about me, student, nonprofit founder, and dancer.

Yeah,

just those things. That is incredible.

at such a young age and I know you got a lot ahead of you. So I know we've had a chance to speak before a couple of times, and one of the reasons I invited you on is number one, just your experiences and accomplishments, but you also have a very interesting story that I think a lot of listeners will in some cases relate to, in some cases they'll they'll kind of be wowed. So tell us a little bit about that time at Columbia.

You were headed towards probably an awesome career in ballet. And then something happened which really changed the direction of your life.

Yes, so like I mentioned, I moved to New York City at 14 years old by myself and into a dormitory with 64 other like-minded students who were all pursuing a professional ballet career. I had trained at the School of American Ballet in New York City for two summer intensives, and then my second year when I was there, I was eligible to be invited for their winter term program, and I was invited and I was one of only about 20 students that were invited to train there, that is both women and men, and

This was after about two hundred went to the summer course after

And I could imagine the disappointment. So you were really battling two things. One, the loss of something you love and that you had aspirations to really fulfill the rest of your life with. And then number two, you had to decide how you were going to overcome this this

Mm-hmm.

horrible injury. And it's not easy. What what was your mindset at the time? How did you navigate all of that?

I mean, at the time I kind of thought that my life or my life as I knew it was over. I

struggled a really decent amount because I think that dance was something that I had tied my identity to for so long. And so to lose such a huge part of myself, to lose the career that I had worked so hard for, it was devastating and I was heartbroken. And not only that, to go from someone who I mean, I consider myself to be a very high achiever. I'm always working to achieve new goals, new dreams. I balanced a pre-professional ballet

career and schedule with a full-time academic load. Like you mentioned earlier, when I sustained my injury, I was a student at Columbia University. And so I went from being someone who could balance all of these things at a very high level to someone who essentially had trouble holding conversations with people because of the result of my head injury, my because of my word mapping skills. They weren't there. And so just that jump

was devastating to me.

And with that, I'm sure there were a lot of people around you that were supporting you, but you were still on your own. I mean, you still had to work through all of those challenges. Who were the the individuals around you that kind of helped set you back on not just a path of recovery physically and mentally, but also on the mindset side to say, you know what, I can I can pull something.

really positive out of this instead of looking at all the negative that came from it.

my parents. absolutely. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful support system. My parents have supported me throughout my entire life for any dream or goal that I wanted to pursue and also just supported me as a human being. And so I'm so I'm so incredibly grateful for them. And when I experienced my injury, it was very difficult because I was away from them.

And you know, I I eventually had my diagnosis. I figured out what was wrong. The neurologist told me that if I wanted any chance at healing and having a normal life that I would need to stop dancing indefinitely. And so after that I moved back home to Florida with my parents and

I I unfortunately, I mean, I talk about this a lot when I talk about brain injuries, but people who experience a brain injury are over 50% more likely to also experience a mental health disorder. And so I unfortunately was one of those individuals. I struggled with depression. And so I was really lucky and fortunate to have such a strong support system around me. And as I navigated my healing, my parents, they knew their daughter. And I was

really just I I didn't know what to do with my life. And I remember my mom, and this is kind of how pageants come into play. My mom looked at me and she was like, Alex, you need a goal to pursue. You need to do something. And you know, that might be a weird thing to say to your kid that's had a had a brain injury ac severe concussion and you know, is is not at her best at that moment, but my mom knew me. And so she was like, you know, there's a sweeps competition for the Miss Florida program.

coming up, why why don't you participate? And I was like, N no, I I don't think that's a good idea. I I I don't know why you would even suggest that. There's a talent phase of competition. I can't really dance.

And there's a speaking component. At the time, the Miss America organization was actually going through its like 2.0 era. And so they had an incredible emphasis, even more so than it is now, on speaking. There was a 10-minute private interview. There was an on-stage question, which is like we have now, but they also had a 90-second interview style pitch on stage where we talked about our community service initiative. And so there was an incredible emphasis on speaking. And I was like, I'm struggling to hold conversations with people. I I don't know why.

I don't know why we think this is a good idea. And she was like, I've never forced you to do anything that you haven't wanted to do in your life, but this is the one thing that I'm going to make you do. And I w I I just didn't understand why. But I'm so glad that she did because I ended up winning the competition,

Yeah.

which is crazy in and of itself. I did performed the most basic version of a talent you could to try to protect my head. I got through the interview and the on stage pitch somehow, and I ended up

working towards a goal, the Miss Florida competition that gym. And while I was in pursuing that goal, I actually ended up spraining my ankle while I was doing a very basic move for my talent. And I was like, this is insane. Like I I I

Yeah.

don't need to do anything else. Obviously I'm not meant to do be a connected to dance in any capacity. And I went to my sports medicine doctor that I had been that who had treated me for so many of my injuries. And she said, Alex

This is kind of weird. I feel like you wouldn't get an injury like this out of nowhere. You were doing a really basic step. it's a releve. And I she was like, Have you had any other type of injuries lately? And I said, Yes, I've actually had a concussion and I had to stop dancing, pursuing a ballet career altogether because of it. And she goes, Okay, I'm gonna take for your ankle up, because at this point it's two weeks till the competition. You come back and see me after the competition's over.

And we're gonna start on post-concussive rehabilitation. Because sometimes when you have injuries that come out of nowhere and you've had prior experience with a different sort of injury, your body can, your body and brain can overcompensate. And so it leads to more injuries. She was like, So come back and see me. So I'm so grateful that my mom pushed me to do this competition, not only because it caused me to get back on track to pursuing a goal and doing something and having something to look forward to, honestly.

But also because it led me to being able to start my full blown post concussive treatment with my physician.

That is awesome. And isn't it funny? Well, not funny. It's it's incredible how those around us that love us and support us will also stretch us. And oftentimes

Yes.

we do go. I mean, this podcast is really from the people close to me, my wife and friends who said, you know, you should you should start a podcast with this coaching thing. And you like talking to people and interviewing people. And I was like, No, I would never do that. And what you did.

Is it gives me chill sometimes because I couldn't imagine getting on a stage and having to accomplish and compete in all those different ways, and you're literally being judged. I mean, that's one of the biggest fears of people. But for you to do

Mm-hmm.

it under those circumstances and to stretch yourself is well, you know, hat hat off to you. That's really, really

Thank you.

amazing. from that, were you interested in?

you know, neuroscience, psychology, all of that leading into this, and this just accelerated w your interest.

Yes, I was always fascinated with psychology. It's one of the reasons I'm a psychology major in college. I loved figuring out the way the brain worked, why people were the way they are. I found that area of study very fascinating growing up, particularly the area of sports psychology, because as someone who was in an environment,

I know a lot of people don't consider dance in a sport, but I consider it an athletic art form. And it requires the same type of mental toughness that any other sport you would think of would need. And so I was really interested in the mental toughness and how I could completely change my mindset while I was in classes and I would have a different physical outcome in the way that I was performing. I actually started seeing a sport psychologist when I was eight years old and continued all throughout my time moving away from

ho home. And so I thought the area of study was very fascinated, fascinating. And then after my brain injury, I became more interested in kind of how the physical and the emotional were connected. So why damage to my frontal lobe would cause issues with emotional regulation, things like that. And so I'd say the more neuroscience, how the physical relates to the emotional came after the brain injury, but I had always been interested in psychology.

Sure. And we're going to talk about the four C's of mental toughness, confidence, control, commitment, and challenge here in a second. but I wanna talk a little bit about the the foundation nonprofit that you started, the Blue Project, because I think from what I've looked at and researched, it's it's pretty big. It's really impressive. It's not

Thank you.

that old, of course, and how

No.

far it's gone from not just a local and statewide initiative, but now a national.

Mm-hmm.

program

is is incredible. Tell us a little bit about that project.

Yes, so like I previously mentioned, I run a nonprofit organization called the Blue Project, Integrating Neuroscience and the Arts Inc. And it actually was inspired after I wrote my freshman honors thesis in the honors college during my freshman year at USF. We were tasked with writing on any topic that we wanted to.

And the professor at the time actually took me to the Dolly Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. She took our class there. And while I was viewing the artwork, I came across this painting by Salvador Dolly called The Broken Bridge and the Dream. And it's this painting that looks like these ghost-like figures are dancing across a bridge that ends. And I had this visceral reaction.

And I I've never had a type of physical reac visceral reaction to artwork. sometimes music, but and even a little bit dance, but never to physical piece of art. And my reaction got me thinking, you know, can

People have experiences where they have traumatic brain injuries or they have neurological disorders, and art is something that helps them heal from those. And so my freshman honors thesis was entitled Art More Than Just Entertainment, where I combed through different research studies and that had already been performed and learned and wrote about how.

art can help heal those different traumatic brain injuries and neurological disorders. So focused on coloring and drawing, the construction of self-portraits, music therapy, dance. And one of the most interesting studies that came from that was that I found that dance actually increases neuroplasticity in the brain. So being a dancer since the age of two and a half, now knowing what I know, after working on this paper,

I I I've I wonder, you know, how did dance play a role in my ability to recuperate from such a severe concussion?

Out of that experience, the Blue Project was born and I started getting more plugged into the brain injury community. I went to Washington, D.C., where I met members of Brain Injury Florida and the Brain Injury Association of America at Brain Injury Awareness Day on Capitol Hill, where we were lobbying for the reauthorization of the Traumatic Brain Injury Act. And from there, I was invited to join join Florida's Brain Injury Advisory Board. I'm the youngest member on that board. I serve as a part of the Education and Awareness Work.

Group.

So essentially, as a part of this board, we've created Florida's Brain Injury State Action Plan and are working to implement that. And then the sector that I focus on is education and awareness. And so there have been different things that have come out of that. But one of the things that I'm most excited for is that we I'm working with them and the University of Florida's Brain Center to build a type of ambassador volunteer program where we develop brain injury education curriculums and bring that to students in schools across the state of Florida. I am also the youngest member of the Brain Injury.

Association of America Speakers Bureau. So I've had the opportunity to share my story as well as information about brain injury awareness nationally. I gave a presentation to Dallas College's School of Health Sciences. I've spoken to students across the state of Florida. so I've really just been able to expand the work that I'm doing. I have different initiatives like the Blue Bag Project Initiative that fosters resilience for children undergoing

Different health challenges in hospitals. And so it's really just grown into more than I ever imagined it would be. And I'm I'm so grateful for that.

Yeah. I mean, that's so impressive on so many different levels. And the connection,

Mm-hmm.

clearly you have a purpose that's bigger than yourself and your own, you know, individual goals. That ha is that something that is completely driving you at this point, regardless of pageants or anything else you're doing?

Yeah, I my I would say that my personal experience is what drives my involvement in this. It's now something, being involved with brain injury community is now something that I want to do as a career. My ultimate goal is to attend medical school to become a neuropsychiatrist and in the hopes of helping individuals who have had experiences with a brain injury similar to the one that I experienced. so my own experience definitely propels my mission forward. I I would I would do it regardless.

Of whether or not I was involved in pageants, so

And do you sleep at all? You do all these things. I imagine it takes more

I do, I do. I I've always

been able to run off of very little sleep, so that is that is a good thing, but I do sleep.

Yeah. That's

good. That's good. It's good for you. You know that. okay, so I gotta ask this question. My mom would be like, okay, she'd love to talk to you because she watches the Miss America pageant like every year and has since I was a kid, which was a long time ago. What was it like being a part of the Miss America pageant? It's on a national stage,

it's kind of an icon of events.

Yes.

in this country, what what what were your feelings going into it and while you were performing?

I would say that it was the most surreal experience that I've ever had. I grew up watching this. Like like you mentioned, it's kind of this iconic pillar of American history. It's very well incorporated. The organization's been around for over a hundred years. I was a part of the 99th Miss America class. That sounds a little weird, but they there have been years that they haven't had the competition due to COVID or wars. So I was a part of the 99th Miss America class, even though the organization is over a hundred years old. So it really

It has this iconic history about it. And I grew up watching it on TV with my mom and grandmother every single year. I had been involved in the Miss Florida organization since I was eight years old. I love Miss America. And so then to be able to stand on stage and introduce myself and say, Alexandra Daros, Miss Florida, that was such a surreal experience. And that's the only way I know how to describe it. Because I remember standing in rehearsal and getting to say that and introduce myself. And I walked off stage and I just got

tears in my eyes. cause it was a lifelong dream of mine and to see that fulfilled was something that I was so grateful and excited to be a part of.

And you you mentioned it was a dream of yours. To that point, leading up to that, throughout from when the time you were a little girl all the way to that point, was that something you you thought about? Did you think you could achieve something like that? Was it not top of mind, but something that you were kind of visualizing in your head?

Well, it was something that I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to pursue because of the ballet career that I was pursuing. That always kind of came first. And so for a while, people would actually ask me, There's a teen program, are you going to be able to compete? And I was like, No, I I'm at my ballet school, I'm pursuing this dream. And I didn't end up

getting the opportunity to compete in the team program until my last year and final year of eligibility. so I wasn't sure if it was something that was ever going to be actually feasible for me. I always hoped that it would and that I would be able to w work it out with my schedule and my ballet career, but

so it was kind of like always something that was in the back of my mind. I just didn't know if I was gonna ever be able to have the opportunity to pursue it. However, once I stepped into that world and was able to compete.

I knew that it was something that I could accomplish. It was just going to depend on when it was the right time for me, you know, if I could prepare and do all the things that I needed to do. But I'm someone that has always set very measurable goals and worked towards achieving them. I've been like that from a very, very young age. And so I knew that if I set it as a goal and I had that same determination that I attacked every other area of my life with, that it was definitely something that was within reach.

Yeah,

for sure. And mental toughness, which this podcast is is all about, basically, is all about how you deal with pressure, high pressure moments, things that are important to you, and a lot of uncertainty around it. Clearly there had to be a lot of pressure going into that pageant and during that pageant. Number one, how did you manage the pressure using mental toughness? And number two, was there a point where you were really pushed and you were like, my gosh, I gotta have my act together to get.

to get through this next hurdle.

I would say that competing at Miss Florida and competing at Miss America were very different. So, in terms of mental toughness, they were two totally separate things. And I actually think I had to exercise mental toughness much more at Miss Florida than I did at Miss America. And I'll explain why. For some reason, at Miss Florida, I think it was because the prior year I'd been third runner up.

And so I had made it into the top five. I knew that it was something that was very much within reach. And if I could perform and I could execute to the best of my ability, obviously you never know what the judges are looking for, different judges, different day. But if I could perform to the best of my ability, I knew it was something with that was in re within reach. And so during the Miss Florida competition, my brain started doing this really weird thing where I started to visualize anything that could go wrong would go wrong.

So for example, I I've danced from my whole life. S for some reason I'd be backstage and I would just envision myself falling on stage or tripping, walking down the stairs in fitness.

Never done that before, don't know why. And so I had to exercise, bring back those like sports psychology techniques that I learned at a very young age. I put in my headphones, I listened to music, and I had to put myself in a space to focus where I knew I would be able to perform the best of my ability. It was to the point where I was in the dressing room and I put these headphones in and I really locked in so much that I would tell the other girls in the dressing room, hey, if you need me, just yell at me.

Because I'm probably not gonna be able to like respond. But if you come and yell at me and say, like, hey Alex, I'll respond. I had to put myself so much in the zone during Miss Florida week just because of the way that my brain was moving that week. Miss America was a very different experience. I went into Miss America same I prepared the same way I had. I worked really hard in preparation leading up to Miss America. But my goal at Miss America was really to enjoy the experience.

To win the experience. There are 52 women competing for this title, all who have won their state competition. And so I knew that it was going to be unlike anything that I had ever experienced. And it was going to incorporate so many other factors besides the competition. There was gonna be press there. There was going to be excursions that we were going on. There was a lot of really unique opportunities for us. And so my goal heading into the week was really to enjoy the experience.

And I think that that's kind of where they differed. Yes, I wanted to enjoy the experience at Miss Florida, but Miss Florida, I knew if like I just really locked in on this and I I would it would be something that I would be able to achieve. So they were very, I think I had different mindsets going into them. Not that Miss America was not something that was achievable. It was just a different outlook. Like my goal with it was different because I wanted to come out of Miss America and say, no matter what happened, I had, I did the best I could, I prepared the most I could.

And I won the experience of competing there.

That is so interesting. You know, two different I would have never thought you would say that. Obviously I would think you would say Miss America, you know, that pageant was the biggest thing. But now that you explain, it makes

Well,

perfect sense.

I won't lie, there were definitely Miss America Week definitely had its own areas where I needed to be mentally tough. I won't go into too much detail, but my interview at Miss America, I was asked some of the most wild interview questions that I had ever been asked in my seven years of competing in the Miss America organization. And so

When I left the interview, I remember talking to my mom and my director afterwards and saying, Well, I did the best with what I was given. And so I think in that moment I was really tasked with could am I gonna let my interview, something that I'm unsure of really how it went, you know, I felt like I did the best with the questions that were thrown at me. Is this gonna be stop stopping me from competing well the entire rest of the competition?

I ha still had preliminary competition at this point where which featured on stage question. I still had talent. I still had my community service or I still had my quality of life interview. And so it was kind of something where it was like, okay, if I'm uncertain about the way this went, am I now going to choose to let this stop me from performing well in the rest of my competition? Or am I am I gonna move on? Am I gonna have the mental toughness and the mental fortitude to say, okay, I did the best I could.

let me move on and do the best I can in every other phase of competition. So Miss America did have its own kind of events and things that I had to navigate, but they were still very different of experiences.

And you ended up winning the quality of life award. What

There.

what was that like when they called your name?

my gosh. a lot of people were like, you look so shocked. But it was just thing, you get to the national level. the Quality of Life Award is widely considered as the most prestigious award reg aside from actually winning the Miss America crown. And to do that, it's an entirely separate submission. We submit a video about our community service initiative, which mine is my nonprofit organization, the Blue Project. we submit an essay. From there, they narrow it down to 10 finalists.

And then we have a separate private interview with a panel of judges. And so then they pick their two runners up and their winner for the award. And so when they announced the award, I just remember feeling like, my gosh. not because I didn't believe I could win the award, but just because I mean, how you spend your whole life dreaming of getting to the Miss America stage, and then your name is called on finals night as the Quality of Life Award winner.

Honoring not only all of the work that I had done with the Blue Project, but the person I've become as a result of the experiences, the way I've persevered, and now what will be my life's work pouring back into the brain injury community and pursuing my education as a physician. So it was really just this incredible moment and it was it was indescribable.

Yeah. And your reaction when I saw it too was like, wow, she really was surprised by that. But knowing

Yeah.

your background, I'm not an expert in, you know, the pageant and the other contestants,

Yeah.

but knowing your background, I wasn't surprised. I was like, that makes perfect sense. It's unbelievable

Thank you.

the things you've you've accomplished already. okay, so let's dive in real quick here. I just have a few more questions, but these are important questions because as I mentioned, I focus a lot when I work with athletes and have these conversations with other other people on the program. It's all about

The

four C's of mental toughness, confidence, control, commitment, and challenge. And there's subfactors to all four of those. But I just want to run through those kind of quickly and get your feedback on what these represent to you when it comes to mental toughness. The first one I'll start with is commitment. And usually that centers around, you know, setting goals and then basically focusing and working towards trying to accomplish those goals, staying committed towards the process.

What does that mean to you? How how does how do you work commitment into the things that you've done?

Well, I think for me, commitment has always stemmed from passion coupled with determination. So I have always been a big advocate for pursuing the goals that you're passionate about. I mean, when I moved away from New York at or to go to New York at 14, there were a lot of people that were like, you're pursuing a

dance career, do you that's kind of unrealistic. but my parents always instilled this idea into me that you should pursue what you're passionate about because ultimately you're going to have a greater commitment to that. You're gonna have a greater love for it. And so I think that passion and commitment kind of go hand in hand. And then of course just I've developed a determination skills over years and years of having to pursue goals. And so that's kind of how I view commitment is being passionate about something and being determined enough to make it happen.

Yeah, you sound like Angela Duckworth in the book Grit.

Yeah.

I don't know if you read that book. It's a great book. If you haven't, check it out. It's phenomenal. okay, next is challenge and that basically centers around risk orientation, being willing to take some risks and then learning orientation. I'm sure that played that I know for a fact that played a big role, not just in the pageants, but everything you you did leading up to the pageants.

so I approach challenges. I figured this out, and it's something that I talk about when, especially when I talk to high school students or college students, is now I've cultivated this kind of brain framework that on how I

approach challenges in my life. And so it's brain, it's an acronym that stands for break it down, reframe your mindset, assess your options, initiate action, and never give up. And while I don't physically run through each of those steps every time I encounter some sort of obstacle in my life, it's something that I realized I was doing subconsciously that when I approached a challenge or there was an impediment in my way, I kind of looked at it as, okay, what's really going on?

Now, is this something that's negative? How can I reframe this to be something positive or reframe it to something that might not seem debilitating? assess like where I can move next and then initiate action. And while you're initiating that action, don't give up, don't back down. And I find that that's a very practical way to approach challenges. And so I try to teach that to other people when I speak to them.

Yeah, the learning process is so important. I think people miss that. You know, they have

Mm-hmm.

a a a failure or some hiccup. And then instead of using it to as fuel, right, to move forward and learn and grow, they they don't. And that's unfortunate. control is the third C. And the two factors there. One you already brought up earlier in the conversation, you you refer to it as emotional regulation. we'll we'll sometimes say emotional control. And the other is life control, which I think people forget about, which is just

Making sure those areas of your life, your relationships, how you view yourself, your self esteem, things like that are all in place. what do you think about control when you're working towards your goals?

I think it's important to maintain control, but at the same time, I feel like you're not gonna be able to do anything if you feel like you have to have a hundred percent control, tight grip on everything around you. I feel like it's okay for me to say I'm a little bit of a control freak, but at the same time, throughout navigating specific challenges, especially when with regards to my brain injury, there were time periods where I just had to let go and say,

What is meant for me will not pass me by. And that is something that I actually texted my mom backstage after I answered my top five question at Miss Florida. I delivered a question that I was really proud of. I controlled what I could control, which was my answer. And then I went backstage and I was like, she was she was like, I'm so proud of you. And I said, Thank you. I'm really proud of that answer. I don't know what's going to happen now.

But I'm confident that what's meant for me won't pass me by. And so I'm gonna let go. And I think that that is kind of the perspective I have. I control, I can control what I can control. I can control how I respond to situations. I can control what my emotions are, I can control how prepared I am, but you can't control certain outcomes to things, and so sometimes you have to let go.

That's such a great answer, a great story and example. And I hope the listeners out there maybe

No.

rewind that and listen to that three or four times because yeah, you can't control everything, but you got to believe that those things that are good for you are gonna come to you and you gotta keep working at it. the last C is confidence. Some people say this is the most important, but it really boils down to your confidence in abilities and your interpersonal confidence with other people. What

What is confidence to you and how do you get it?

I've learned over the years that confidence really stems from knowing who you are at your core. I have learned this is something that I feel like I learned and grew into a lot after my brain injury because I always say, so with my brain injury, it was a big identity test. I really, before my brain injury, defined myself by my accomplishments and what I had done in life. And then and what I was involved in.

But then after my brain injury, when I was no longer tied to dance as my identity, I really had to look at, okay, who am I as a person? I wanted to be defined by the qualities that I possess, how I treat people. And so sometimes I feel like my brain injury ended up being this exercise that really taught me who I am as a person. And I became really sure of myself through that process. And so now confidence is something that I approach with.

I have confidence in myself or confidence in myself because I know who I am at my core. I know what I bring to the table. And so in any situation, whether that is pageants or life or speaking engagements, things where I'm being judged, I know, okay, I've done the best I can in this situation. I I've prepared. I I know who I am. And so in situations like pageants where you're being judged by a panel of judges, I know.

i their opinion could change at any day, but it's because I am sure of who I am and what I've done that I'm gonna be okay no matter what. And so I think that's where my inner confidence stems from.

Yeah, and I'd agree. I think you're going to be okay no matter what in

Ha ha ha.

all things you do. I'm pretty conf I'll put money on that. okay, just

Thank you.

maybe one last question here for those listening, especially maybe younger folks that are out there, maybe they're in high school or college or you know, just starting careers, things like that. What what would be one bit of advice that you would provide them in terms of not just chasing their goals, but making that commitment to themselves to be the best they can be?

Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. I think a lot of times if you ask me about practicing mental toughness, it's not just about knowing the tactics that are beneficial to you when you're in the midst of a mentally tough situation. It's also putting yourself in a situation where you have to practice that mental toughness. Kind of an iron sharpens iron sort of ordeal.

like for so long, and I say this because for so long, I was very shy growing up. And even as I be grew out of that shyness, public speaking was something that terrified me. And I I say that as someone who sits on a speaker's bureau. And so fully I I really feel like I I practice what I preach here. There are so many times where throughout the past several years, I have quite literally put myself in what I would consider some of the most uncomfortable situations.

For me, I get up on stage in front of people, I would talk, I would do interviews, I I mean, even dancing or speaking was something that was kind of uncomfortable to me after my brain injury because I would forget what I was saying. So not only was I vulnerable because I had been growing I had grown up shy, but it was also something that I felt insecure about after my brain injury because I didn't want to mess up in the public eye. And so I was consistently putting myself in uncomfortable situations where I had to practice mental toughness.

Because I knew that was where I was gonna grow the most. And so I think that if you're comfortable where you're at, you're not doing enough to push yourself and move forward in pursuing your goals.

Yeah. Amen. And it's

it's the scariest thing sometimes because you usually don't want to do those things. but

yeah.

you have to do them. That's the only way you're gonna grow. And you know, I remind people of that all the time. Listen, we're gonna try to practice this thing, mental toughness. And they're like, Well, what do you mean? And I said, You'll find out. Well, you'll find out, but you'll love it. Yeah,

Yeah.

exactly. Well, Alexandra thank you so much for being on a podcast, donating your time and

and wisdom with us. You are an amazing individual. Again, everybody here in the state of Florida super proud of you and really just appreciate everything you brought to the program today.

Thank you so much.

And for the rest of you out there, don't forget to like and share and subscribe and all that good stuff. You can always go to chargeforwardcoaching.com, learn a little bit more about mental toughness, learn a little bit more about me, and you could even set up a free discovery call if you want to consider coaching to help you get you where you want to be with your goals and in life. But in the meantime, just keep charging forward.