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Cognitive Test | Episode 281
Episode 281 • 26th December 2024 • Boomer Bunker • John Jamingo and The Duchess
00:00:00 01:30:23

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Duchess and John Jamingo engage in a lively debate about whether young couples should marry early or focus on careers first. They discuss controversial practices like foot binding and extreme proposals to address Japan's declining birth rate. Their discussion covers political frustrations, humorous family anecdotes, and childhood memories of airsoft guns. They reflect on societal pressures and the humor in everyday dilemmas, offering bold opinions on various subjects. Join them for a mix of serious debate and light-hearted stories.

  • Controversial views on young couples marrying early and its historical context.
  • Insights into political unrest and frustrations within current administrations.
  • Humorous family traditions and children's antics, including cursing appropriately.
  • It is a touching story about a helping hand for a struggling pizza business.
  • Realistic yet funny discussions on airsoft guns and the potential dangers of their realistic appearance.

Join us Monday and Thursdays at 6:30 pm Eastern for our live stream on the following platforms:

https://www.youtube.com/@theboomerbunker

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https://rumble.com/c/BoomerBunker

https://www.facebook.com/boomerbunker

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/boomer_bunker

Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/nYwz8e8Wwr

Voice Mail Number: (856) 477-1935

Transcripts

Duchess:

All right, you guys, podcast time.

Duchess:

We got the equipment and the perfect business plan.

Duchess:

Give our show away for free and tell no one how to find it.

Duchess:

Ready?

Duchess:

I'm gonna start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.

Duchess:

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another riveting episode of the Boomer Bunker, the podcast that tackles the tough topics, share some laughs, and dive headfirst into the sea of controversy.

Duchess:

With no life jackets in sight, I'm thrilled to introduce your hosts, the dynamic duo who bring wisdom, wit, and a whole lot of candor.

Duchess:

First up, she's the voice of reason with a dash of sass, always ready to call it like she sees it.

Duchess:

The Duchess.

Duchess:

And joining her, he's the no nonsense sidekick armed with bold opinions and a bald head that's ready to shine.

Duchess:

John Jamingo.

Duchess:

Together, they'll navigate the latest headlines, dive into deep debates, and maybe even share a pee bucket anecdote or two.

Duchess:

So buckle up and get ready for a conversation that's as lively as it is enlightening.

Duchess:

Without further ado, here are Duchess and Jamingo.

Duchess:

Hey, ho, ho, ho, you hoes.

Duchess:

I am your host, John Domingo, and giggles my puss.

Duchess:

Over here, the Duchess.

Duchess:

You know, the new one.

Duchess:

We start the show, and every time we start to chug.

Duchess:

I hear that little giggle in the very beginning.

Duchess:

It cracks me up.

Duchess:

No, don't stop doing it.

Duchess:

I love it.

Duchess:

It's hysterical.

John Jamingo:

Oh, there you go.

John Jamingo:

Bruce says it's the trophy wife.

Duchess:

It's the trophy wife.

Duchess:

Oh, is it the trophy wife.

Duchess:

Oh, okay.

John Jamingo:

Well, that.

John Jamingo:

That goes back to our A Discord discussion.

John Jamingo:

If anybody's on our Discord.

John Jamingo:

There was a question as to what makes a trophy wife, so there was.

Duchess:

One that you can.

Duchess:

One that's screwed on the table.

Duchess:

Hi.

Duchess:

Oh, throw that bell away.

Duchess:

I don't know.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, I'm in a hat today.

John Jamingo:

My hair.

John Jamingo:

I have bad hair today, so it's a hat.

Duchess:

Yeah, there you go.

Duchess:

It was funny when we first came on here, I didn't want to say anything because I couldn't really see well, and I wasn't sure if you had your hair dyed and it was, like, a little dark.

John Jamingo:

What the hell did you do to your hair?

Duchess:

And I'm not going to say right before we go live.

Duchess:

What the hell did you do to your hair?

John Jamingo:

I know.

John Jamingo:

I fuss with my hair like, the half hour before the show.

Duchess:

I'm a season with it.

Duchess:

I'm seasoned.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

You never say, oh, you look fat in that or what to do to your hair.

John Jamingo:

What do you do?

Duchess:

I didn't say any of that.

Duchess:

Although I was on Today testing Studio B.

John Jamingo:

You were?

Duchess:

And I got called fat right out of the gate.

Duchess:

I was like, what the hell?

Duchess:

I'm over here losing weight.

Duchess:

You know who else is on the Ozempic?

Duchess:

Elon Musk.

Duchess:

Elon Musk.

John Jamingo:

I had seen that.

Duchess:

He's thinning out.

Duchess:

People are getting on the Ozempnik.

John Jamingo:

They are.

Duchess:

We'll see what happens.

Duchess:

Oh, you know what I'm doing in the beginning of this year?

Duchess:

I'm going carnivore.

Duchess:

Well, I'm a little nervous about Carnivore because they say that if you eat a lot of protein, it's really bad.

Duchess:

It's hard on your kidneys.

John Jamingo:

And I'm like, why have you decided to go carnivore?

John Jamingo:

Like, is there a medical reason?

Duchess:

I just hear that.

John Jamingo:

Are you just like, today's the day?

Duchess:

No, I hear that.

Duchess:

It really makes it.

Duchess:

First of all, it helps you really lose weight, and I hear it makes you feel better.

Duchess:

But I don't want to ruin my kidneys by, you know, have it.

Duchess:

Trying to produce, too.

Duchess:

You know, piss out all that protein.

John Jamingo:

Well, maybe just a wild thing to say.

John Jamingo:

Talk to your doctor.

Duchess:

Oh, I knew you were gonna say, talk to your doctor.

John Jamingo:

Well, they would be the best ones to suggest it, but it's probably more like cleaner eating would be good.

Duchess:

Well, that's what I've been doing.

Duchess:

Clean eating, cleaner.

John Jamingo:

No, I'm not saying.

John Jamingo:

You're not.

John Jamingo:

I'm just saying that might be a better start to.

Duchess:

Except for yesterday.

Duchess:

Yesterday.

John Jamingo:

All right.

John Jamingo:

Christmas doesn't count.

John Jamingo:

Christmas calories should never count.

Duchess:

They make that.

Duchess:

So we go.

Duchess:

So this is how we do it.

Duchess:

We have the.

Duchess:

I go over there in the morning.

John Jamingo:

Josh from New Hampshire says, doctors.

Duchess:

So I go over in the morning, and then we have the breakfast.

Duchess:

And I mean, it's got.

Duchess:

It's the bacon, it's the sausage, it's the so good French toast casserole, cinnamon buns.

Duchess:

I mean, it's.

Duchess:

You know, you've got eggs.

Duchess:

It's crazy.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

Although this year, I gotta be honest with you, this year I just had, like, I took a little bit of everything, a little small bit of everything because I didn't want to be sick.

Duchess:

Especially when you're on this medication, if you eat too much, it makes you nauseous.

Duchess:

I didn't want that.

Duchess:

So I ate like.

Duchess:

I ate like an old lady, you know, I just took a little.

Duchess:

I'll have a little bit.

Duchess:

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Duchess:

No.

Duchess:

So I had that.

Duchess:

And, you know, and then I think.

Duchess:

I think I had.

Duchess:

Throughout the day, I think I had three cookies.

Duchess:

A snickerdoodle, which is my favorite.

Duchess:

A hot chocolate cookie.

Duchess:

And then the other one was a.

Duchess:

I can't remember what the other one was, but it was something new.

Duchess:

But it was really, really good.

Duchess:

It had, like, toffee and stuff in it.

Duchess:

It was really good.

Duchess:

Anyhow, so then we do that, and then we turn into Jews.

Duchess:

What we do is we go.

Duchess:

We order Chinese food.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Like the Jews.

Duchess:

We order Chinese food for.

Duchess:

For dinner.

Duchess:

And this year, all I did was I got some sushi and fried Rumplings.

Duchess:

Fried Rumplings.

John Jamingo:

Fried dumplings.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, those are tasty.

John Jamingo:

I like the Crab Rangoons, but without the crab meat.

John Jamingo:

Like, just the.

Duchess:

Just the rangoon.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

I don't like crab.

Duchess:

Oh, God.

John Jamingo:

What's those little.

John Jamingo:

You know what they are, right?

Duchess:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

I love.

Duchess:

They're.

Duchess:

They're fantastic.

Duchess:

Crab Rangoon.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So I got the.

Duchess:

So then.

John Jamingo:

Then I came with you on snickerdoodles being the official Christmas.

Duchess:

Oh, they are so good.

Duchess:

I love a snickerdoodle.

Duchess:

And here's the thing.

John Jamingo:

The wontons.

Duchess:

Oh, yeah.

Duchess:

Fried wontons are pretty good, too.

John Jamingo:

Oh, so good.

Duchess:

So I like that better than turkey, I'll be honest with you.

John Jamingo:

So was it your whole family?

John Jamingo:

How many people?

Duchess:

Now, the girls.

Duchess:

You know, the girls are.

Duchess:

They've got boyfriends now.

Duchess:

So they're there in the morning, and then they go off, and they.

Duchess:

Off.

Duchess:

They all go to the boyfriend dinner at the boyfriends.

Duchess:

Yeah, exactly.

Duchess:

Oh, let me show you something.

Duchess:

I gotta show you this.

Duchess:

I forgot.

Duchess:

I wanted to get a closer.

Duchess:

You gotta see.

John Jamingo:

This is awesome.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so for.

John Jamingo:

You have to watch my daughter.

John Jamingo:

John got a cool gift.

Duchess:

My daughter and her.

Duchess:

And her boyfriend bought me this thing.

Duchess:

And it's a cane.

Duchess:

Walking stick.

Duchess:

Cane.

Duchess:

But it's a sword cane.

Duchess:

Here's the problem.

Duchess:

Watch this.

Duchess:

Listen, everybody.

Duchess:

I'm unscrewing this thing.

Duchess:

What the.

John Jamingo:

So you don't accidentally.

Duchess:

Hey, you stay over there until I can get my.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Look at this.

John Jamingo:

Holy shit.

John Jamingo:

It's really.

John Jamingo:

Is it a sword?

Duchess:

It's a sword.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I mean, it's a sword.

John Jamingo:

But wants you to go.

John Jamingo:

Please yell, you shall not pass.

Duchess:

Shall not pass.

John Jamingo:

None shall pass.

Duchess:

All right, so I was talking to Deuce, and as one does, and he said.

Duchess:

Oh, he's.

Duchess:

His has.

Duchess:

Is a push Button.

Duchess:

Listen, here I am, look over here, trying to get this thing screwed back together.

Duchess:

But this is so heavy.

John Jamingo:

This only takes two days to take out.

Duchess:

And these little points are so sharp.

Duchess:

Like if anybody really came in and I really had to use this weapon, I just hit them this.

Duchess:

Yeah, that would do it.

Duchess:

That would take them out.

Duchess:

There would be blood drawn.

John Jamingo:

Well, I think that's a pretty awesome gift.

Duchess:

It is pretty cool.

Duchess:

It was like one.

Duchess:

You know how you always get like practical gifts?

Duchess:

Like I got a Philadelphia Eagle shirt and I got some other shirts and stuff.

Duchess:

But that's like one of your fun gifts that you get my son.

John Jamingo:

You can stabby, stabby people with.

John Jamingo:

That's a fun gift.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

My son took and got a Legos Eagles helmet and he put together.

John Jamingo:

Oh, that's awesome.

Duchess:

A Legos Eagles helmet.

Duchess:

And he put it in a, in a case and.

Duchess:

And he's like, what do you say to me?

Duchess:

He says, he says, I know you.

Duchess:

You'll knock it over and then break it all apart.

Duchess:

He says, so I spray glued it so they spray glue it and it doesn't fall apart.

Duchess:

Well, that's pretty cool.

John Jamingo:

That's actually very smart.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's over in the.

John Jamingo:

I guess like when you do puzzles and stuff.

Duchess:

Yeah, when I'm in studio B, you can see that because it's got shelves there, so it's pretty cool.

John Jamingo:

Sparky thinks it's funny where he's like, I know you.

Duchess:

I know you.

Duchess:

I know you.

John Jamingo:

I think I told the swords when Jimmy comes over and wants half your.

Duchess:

Sammy back off you.

John Jamingo:

No, it's mine.

Duchess:

No, I'm not like that.

Duchess:

I'd have gave him the whole thing and ordered another one.

John Jamingo:

I know.

Duchess:

The other thing was when I was get in the studio, my daughter calls me.

Duchess:

I said, the table's coming.

Duchess:

And she goes, well, do you need a hand getting it down the steps?

Duchess:

I said, it's four by four.

Duchess:

It shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Duchess:

She goes, you know, you're not.

Duchess:

You're getting old.

John Jamingo:

Oh.

Duchess:

I don't want you to hurt yourself.

John Jamingo:

I don't want you to hurt yourself.

John Jamingo:

Okay, Grandpa, I think I can get.

Duchess:

It down the steps.

John Jamingo:

Oh, man, that hurt.

Duchess:

Yes, I got.

John Jamingo:

It's a little bit like, oh, right.

Duchess:

Assault my manhood.

Duchess:

So I had to, I had to get it down the steps and open it up and then get the whole thing set up.

Duchess:

And then I had to test with.

John Jamingo:

No help, of course.

John Jamingo:

Right.

John Jamingo:

Did she come help you?

Duchess:

No, no one helped me.

John Jamingo:

Of course not.

Duchess:

No, but I have everything there.

Duchess:

It's ready to go.

Duchess:

The other road caster pros over there.

Duchess:

And today I tested it, and I have the second camera, so the Duchess camera.

Duchess:

And I had to put the bobblehead there so you.

Duchess:

You can see the second.

Duchess:

But, you know, my son, when he was.

Duchess:

He could have been no more than seven.

Duchess:

And he used to love these marble mazes.

Duchess:

So the.

Duchess:

My wife at the time, we call her the ex, she buys this marble maze.

Duchess:

And this thing is like, the size of a kitchen table, and it's got elevators, and the marbles run up, and they come down, and there's like.

Duchess:

And you can run, like, 12 marbles at the same time.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

It took forever to put this together.

Duchess:

It took me four nights, you know, with the instructions, putting everything together, get everything together right.

Duchess:

So that The Christmas Eve.

Duchess:

Because he still believes in Santa, we bring it upstairs, we put it on the kitchen table, and, you know, okay, move everything out of the way so they all come down, and he's like, oh, Santa brought me the marble maze.

Duchess:

Oh.

Duchess:

So we turn it on, and it's sitting there, and it's doing this.

Duchess:

And he's sitting there watching it, watching it, watching it.

Duchess:

And about 15 minutes.

Duchess:

I don't know what he picked up, but he picked up, like, a broom or something.

Duchess:

He went.

Duchess:

Pieces went flying.

Duchess:

Marbles went flying.

Duchess:

And I just looked.

Duchess:

I'm just.

Duchess:

I'm stunned.

Duchess:

I don't know what to do.

Duchess:

I'm just.

Duchess:

I'm paralyzed.

Duchess:

I want to kill him.

John Jamingo:

All the thoughts.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I just.

Duchess:

I just seized up.

Duchess:

I just locked up.

John Jamingo:

That's probably good.

Duchess:

You did right?

Duchess:

And then I go, I'm gonna go take a ride.

Duchess:

So I grabbed my keys.

Duchess:

I went for a ride.

Duchess:

I was gonna kill him.

Duchess:

I was gonna.

Duchess:

I was gonna take pieces of that and beat him with it.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

Did he ever explain why?

Duchess:

Well, remember, he's autistic, so.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

I guess he just went, say, like.

John Jamingo:

I want to see how it worked or, like, something.

Duchess:

So then he says to me, when I come back, he goes, can you put that back together again?

Duchess:

I said, together, you destroyed it.

Duchess:

You broke it.

Duchess:

Like, you broke it.

Duchess:

There's.

Duchess:

There's nothing to put back together.

Duchess:

You did.

Duchess:

Absolutely.

Duchess:

It was fif.

Duchess:

I spent four days, put it together.

Duchess:

Fifteen minutes.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

I would have cried.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

It was so hard.

Duchess:

I wanted to kill him.

Duchess:

But, yeah, it was.

Duchess:

It was.

John Jamingo:

I remember that story.

Duchess:

Yeah, I know.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

It's a.

Duchess:

Every.

John Jamingo:

What did what did Kathy do?

Duchess:

It was the night before Christmas and Jaminga was in the cellar building a marble maze for his son.

Duchess:

No, I mean, it's just like I tell it every year.

Duchess:

It's like my, you know, my December 7th joke.

Duchess:

Do I tell you that one?

Duchess:

You know that one?

John Jamingo:

I think I do.

Duchess:

It's a guy's half black and half Japanese.

Duchess:

Every December 7th, he attacks Pearl Bailey.

Duchess:

That's my, that's my December 7th joke.

Duchess:

I tell it every year.

John Jamingo:

I think you missed that one.

John Jamingo:

So Bruce wants to know what's in a glass.

John Jamingo:

It's rose.

John Jamingo:

It had a screw top.

John Jamingo:

I have no idea what brand.

John Jamingo:

The bottle looked good.

John Jamingo:

I picked it up.

John Jamingo:

It's fussy.

Duchess:

It's wine.

John Jamingo:

It's wine.

Duchess:

That was kind of Christmas.

Duchess:

You know, it's funny that we were talking about, you know, using a cane and self defense because we're going to get into it.

Duchess:

I don't even know where to go with this because it's, it's ridiculous.

Duchess:

And I think what's happening is that, I guess through the Trump administration or before, really before.

Duchess:

I think it happened really with Obama where they started to say, you know what, the criminals are the marginalized, and if you take and you put them in jail, then you're the oppressor.

Duchess:

ack in Obama probably in like:

Duchess:

And it's been getting progressively worse until now.

Duchess:

We're like, you know what, let's move back to the middle.

Duchess:

This is ridiculous.

Duchess:

You know, like the right with Trump.

Duchess:

He was, you know, he said to the Republicans, look, you loses, you lose these elections.

Duchess:

I mean, I'm a winner.

Duchess:

We're going to move to the center.

Duchess:

And you know, and then the Democrats are like looking at Kamala Harris and, and all this.

John Jamingo:

Not like the savior.

Duchess:

Yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

Well, not only that, but I like a lot of the normal Democrats, you know, not your blue haired, you know, nose rings, ear gauges, college educated, those.

Duchess:

You're not them.

Duchess:

You're normal Democrats.

Duchess:

They're like, you know, like your Joe Rogans, your Telsey Gabbards, your, you know, people like that.

Duchess:

They're like, you know, hey, we're moving to the center.

Duchess:

So now I think there's a huge group of us that are moving the center.

Duchess:

Like I said, Chenk Uygur was over at the.

John Jamingo:

What did you call him?

Duchess:

Chenk.

Duchess:

His name's Chenk Uygur.

Duchess:

I call him Chunk.

Duchess:

You get mad at me.

Duchess:

I figure out how to use his real name.

Duchess:

Now you say his name is Chenk Uygur?

John Jamingo:

Chink.

Duchess:

Chenk.

Duchess:

Chink Chank.

John Jamingo:

He's not.

Duchess:

He's not Asian.

John Jamingo:

I know exactly who he is.

Duchess:

Okay, well, what's his name then?

Duchess:

What do you call him?

John Jamingo:

I don't know.

John Jamingo:

I don't know how it's pronounced.

John Jamingo:

But you said Chink.

Duchess:

Chink, Chank, Gook, Whatever.

Duchess:

I don't care.

Duchess:

I'm just saying.

John Jamingo:

Okay, that.

Duchess:

The Uyghur guy.

Duchess:

The guy from the Young Turks.

John Jamingo:

The guy.

John Jamingo:

Sorry.

Duchess:

Well, you're, like.

Duchess:

You're catching me with it.

Duchess:

Shank.

John Jamingo:

Shank.

Duchess:

It's not Shank.

John Jamingo:

Shank.

John Jamingo:

Shank.

John Jamingo:

Chunk.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

We use the guy from the Young Turks.

Duchess:

Okay, the guy from the Young.

John Jamingo:

Chunk.

John Jamingo:

We all know who he is.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

Chunk Uygur from the Young Turks.

Duchess:

He was at Turning Point usa And then, like I said, so we're.

Duchess:

I think we're moving back.

Duchess:

We're moving to the middle, and we're leaving the crazies out on the fringe.

Duchess:

But what happened now is that, you know that.

Duchess:

I mean, we saw what happened on the subway where that guy set the woman on fire.

Duchess:

She died.

John Jamingo:

Awful.

Duchess:

All right?

John Jamingo:

Awful.

Duchess:

And now, was it Christmas Eve?

Duchess:

A guy stabbed a girl, a woman, in the throat.

Duchess:

Did she die?

Duchess:

No, she didn't die.

John Jamingo:

No.

Duchess:

No one helped her.

John Jamingo:

Someone did finally step up to help, who was also attacked.

Duchess:

Oh.

John Jamingo:

And actually, I think more injured than she was.

Duchess:

Really?

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

I don't think he, like, I think he sliced.

John Jamingo:

I'm.

John Jamingo:

I'm not sure what the full details were on the attack, but he did not.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, it was.

John Jamingo:

It was.

John Jamingo:

I mean, both of.

John Jamingo:

It was bad for both of them.

John Jamingo:

It's like it was the fact that she's looking for help, and no one.

John Jamingo:

No one steps up because everybody's terrified because what's going to happen?

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

Because these people are crazy.

Duchess:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

What's going to happen if you help.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

And you're going to go to jail.

Duchess:

This is what's going to happen.

Duchess:

This is.

Duchess:

The repercussions of.

Duchess:

AOC says that now that they.

Duchess:

The subway's more dangerous because they acquitted Penny.

Duchess:

Daniel.

Duchess:

Penny, and he should have went to jail for.

Duchess:

I'm like, cut me a break.

Duchess:

We're done with this.

John Jamingo:

It's really awful.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

It's ridiculous.

John Jamingo:

You know, the fact.

John Jamingo:

And so here's the kicker.

John Jamingo:

Like, again with Kathy Hokel, the governor, who says the subways are safe.

John Jamingo:

And they show her, like, you know, riding in one of the cars, surrounded probably by state police and.

John Jamingo:

And people filming.

John Jamingo:

So, of course, Nothing's going to happen.

John Jamingo:

So with her proclaiming how safe it is, and then again, that poor young woman set on fire, and then this woman stabbed in the subway.

John Jamingo:

And someone who finally did come to help her, also stabbed and wounded.

John Jamingo:

And it's.

John Jamingo:

There's just no.

John Jamingo:

And then, you know, you had Daniel Penny who stepped up and penalized.

John Jamingo:

So, like, what do you do?

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

What do you do as a citizen?

John Jamingo:

Like, what do you do?

John Jamingo:

Like, do you remember what happened to Bernie Gantz?

John Jamingo:

Remember him?

John Jamingo:

Back in the 80s?

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Well, he was acquitted.

John Jamingo:

Well, he probably shouldn't have been, but.

John Jamingo:

Because he.

John Jamingo:

He brought that gun on the subway waiting to get attacked.

John Jamingo:

Like, he say that right after this.

Duchess:

What do you mean?

John Jamingo:

I don't blame him.

John Jamingo:

I don't blame him for.

Duchess:

He was down there because he knew it was a fucking freak show down there.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And he brought a gun, and a guy brought a screwdriver out and was going to stab with a screwdriver and he pulled the gun out.

Duchess:

I think he killed a couple of them, didn't he?

Duchess:

I can't remember.

John Jamingo:

He did.

Duchess:

He shot.

John Jamingo:

They tried to.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, and they tried to make it that he was the bad guy.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

They put him on trial and he ended up being acquitted through all this.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

I mean, there was.

John Jamingo:

There was a lot of wrong.

John Jamingo:

I don't.

John Jamingo:

I think.

John Jamingo:

I don't agree with him bringing the gun and looking for these kids, but.

Duchess:

Why do you say don't blame him?

John Jamingo:

I don't blame him for defending himself, but I think he was looking to murder these kids.

Duchess:

You think he was just riding the subways waiting for somebody to attack him?

John Jamingo:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Some people are.

John Jamingo:

You know, it's like the people who set fires to buildings, you know, kind of.

Duchess:

So you thought he was just a vigilante that was just riding.

Duchess:

He wasn't going to work or something.

John Jamingo:

He did.

John Jamingo:

He did.

John Jamingo:

He was a vigilante.

John Jamingo:

He did shoot them.

John Jamingo:

No, no, no, I'm not saying they attacked him.

John Jamingo:

I get it.

John Jamingo:

But he set himself up for that, right?

Duchess:

He set himself up for that.

Duchess:

How?

John Jamingo:

Well, by bringing the gun.

John Jamingo:

So they knew he had two wrongs don't make right.

John Jamingo:

I understand him defending himself, but you couldn't.

John Jamingo:

You weren't supposed to bring.

Duchess:

But you said.

Duchess:

You said that he brought this on himself.

John Jamingo:

Put himself in that predicament by on purpose being on the subway, looking.

John Jamingo:

By looking for these kids.

John Jamingo:

He knew they.

Duchess:

He was looking for kids to stab him with a screwdriver.

John Jamingo:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Well, he set it up.

Duchess:

He set it up.

Duchess:

He's like, hey, anybody got some scraps?

Duchess:

Anybody got some screwdrivers you want to stab me with?

John Jamingo:

Yeah, that's what he did.

John Jamingo:

He handed them.

John Jamingo:

He knew these kids were there.

John Jamingo:

He waited for them.

Duchess:

He waited for them.

Duchess:

So he went in the subway and waited for them.

John Jamingo:

Look, I'm not.

John Jamingo:

I'm not saying he was wrong for taking matters into his own hands.

John Jamingo:

I'm just saying.

John Jamingo:

But you're saying he looking for the fight.

Duchess:

But what you are saying or what you did say is that he brought this on himself because he had a gun on him in case he was attacked.

John Jamingo:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

You're not supposed to have a gun.

John Jamingo:

Well, the law.

John Jamingo:

You're not supposed to have the gun in New York.

John Jamingo:

The laws have changed.

John Jamingo:

Well, I don't remember what the gun laws were in the 80s.

John Jamingo:

I'm pretty sure you couldn't bring them on the subway.

Duchess:

Here's a funny thing, right?

Duchess:

There's a thing in the.

Duchess:

You know, in the Bill of Rights.

Duchess:

It's the Second Amendment.

Duchess:

It says government shall make no laws.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

No laws.

John Jamingo:

Sure.

John Jamingo:

Bring them on airplanes, too.

Duchess:

Just saying.

John Jamingo:

Okay, well, look, you can't take your fucking Second amendment rights.

John Jamingo:

So if you can't bring them in the subway, nobody should be bringing guns in the subway.

Duchess:

The First Amendment is government should not impede any speech.

Duchess:

And then the Second Amendment is government should make no laws to, you know, impede people from carrying a gun.

John Jamingo:

Okay?

John Jamingo:

So if wander around in the state of New Jersey with a gun sticking out of your pocket, it's against every.

Duchess:

Every one of these laws is unconstitutional.

Duchess:

Am I wrong?

John Jamingo:

Well, would you like to prove the point?

Duchess:

I'm just telling you.

Duchess:

I'm just telling you that that's not.

John Jamingo:

The argument that I'm making about Bernie Getz.

Duchess:

Yeah, you're saying that the reason he's twisting it to.

Duchess:

If he didn't have a gun.

Duchess:

If he didn't have a gun, these guys would have stabbed him with a screwdriver.

Duchess:

And.

Duchess:

But he.

Duchess:

But since he had a gun to defend himself, he brought it on himself.

John Jamingo:

That makes it okay, though.

John Jamingo:

He shouldn't have brought the gun.

John Jamingo:

The whole.

John Jamingo:

I understand.

Duchess:

Well, how was he supposed to defend himself?

Duchess:

Was he supposed to have a screwdriver?

John Jamingo:

Supposed to be a vigilante.

Duchess:

You're supposed to have a longer screwdriver.

John Jamingo:

You.

John Jamingo:

You are nitpicking.

John Jamingo:

Hold on.

John Jamingo:

You're nitpicking for your.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, okay.

John Jamingo:

Well, yeah, you go ahead.

John Jamingo:

Can you please record that sound of you rattling that?

John Jamingo:

Because that's a lot of fun.

John Jamingo:

Like I need like a 10 second loop of.

Duchess:

I'll just say it.

Duchess:

It's like he had a gun to defend himself.

Duchess:

There's more than.

Duchess:

I tell you what.

Duchess:

There's probably.

John Jamingo:

You can believe that he did.

Duchess:

I do believe that.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

And you know who else did?

Duchess:

A jury of his peers.

John Jamingo:

I understand.

John Jamingo:

Again, I get it.

John Jamingo:

I understand why I have ridden on the subway.

John Jamingo:

What I'm saying to you is by the book.

John Jamingo:

He shouldn't have done it.

Duchess:

The book that has the unconstitutional law, John.

Duchess:

The one that has the unconstitutional laws against carrying a gun.

John Jamingo:

Well, go ahead and carry a gun around and see how that works out for you.

John Jamingo:

I'm protecting my Second Amendment rights while your ass will be in jail.

Duchess:

Well, I know in New Jersey you.

John Jamingo:

Can fight from there.

Duchess:

I know in New Jersey they're making it easier to carry a gun now and because go out and carry your gun.

Duchess:

Draconian laws.

Duchess:

Look, I'll be honest with you.

John Jamingo:

I believe they need to be changed.

Duchess:

But until they change, you know the same thing.

Duchess:

If you learn how to defend yourself and you learn how to use a gun and you use it as a last resort, I don't see a problem with it.

Duchess:

I don't see a problem carrying a gun.

John Jamingo:

Is it legal to carry it in New Jersey?

Duchess:

If you have a permit, it is.

John Jamingo:

Who gets the permit to carry?

Duchess:

I know people that have.

John Jamingo:

I understand how it works.

John Jamingo:

I get it.

Duchess:

I know people have permits to carry.

Duchess:

I know a few people have permits to carry.

Duchess:

And our load.

John Jamingo:

And do you have one?

Duchess:

No, I do not.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so does that mean that.

John Jamingo:

Fuck it, it's Wednesday.

John Jamingo:

I don't like how this guy's looking at me.

John Jamingo:

I'm gonna carry my gun around because I just don't like the way he's looking at me.

John Jamingo:

And I'm gonna shoot.

Duchess:

Did you bump your head over Christmas?

Duchess:

What the hell does that mean?

Duchess:

What?

Duchess:

I'm just saying I don't understand your logic all of a sudden.

Duchess:

You're normally a very logical person.

Duchess:

What happened to you?

John Jamingo:

I'm just fucking with you.

John Jamingo:

Just like you're fucking with me.

Duchess:

Okay, well, that's fine.

Duchess:

I just thought for a second there, I lost you.

Duchess:

I thought maybe I drifted away.

John Jamingo:

I spent too much time with my liberal daughter.

Duchess:

Yeah, you better throw them out in the house.

John Jamingo:

I'm okay.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

I'll get it.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

I was putting sarcasm sign next time, like joking.

Duchess:

I'll tell you what.

Duchess:

I, you know, Academy Award performance there because I was flabbergasted.

Duchess:

Jesus.

Duchess:

I was like, at First I couldn't believe it.

Duchess:

I was like sitting here staring in disbelief.

Duchess:

But okay, okay.

Duchess:

All right.

John Jamingo:

So thank you, Bud Dugger.

John Jamingo:

It's from a bottle.

John Jamingo:

I'm classy.

John Jamingo:

Thank you.

Duchess:

Oh, I forgot you're drinking.

Duchess:

I forgot.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

I think in California.

Duchess:

Is this where this was in California, Some kids tried to rob a guy who was also carrying a gun, probably legally.

Duchess:

And this is what happened.

Duchess:

Good morning, Amy.

Unknown Speaker:

In the course of the investigation, deputies learned those kids were just between the ages of 12 and 14 years old, and they tried robbing a man with a gun.

Duchess:

Deputy say, hold on now.

Duchess:

I know they're not sweet little children.

Duchess:

I know they're not allowed to carry guns.

Duchess:

They're not old enough to carry guns.

Duchess:

Although the second amendment doesn't have an age limit on that.

Duchess:

Just saying.

John Jamingo:

You can try that too.

Duchess:

Here we go.

Unknown Speaker:

Least three of those kids were shot.

Unknown Speaker:

One of them is still in critical condition at last check.

Unknown Speaker:

When Harris county sheriff deputies showed up here, they found one of the kids with several gunshot wounds.

Unknown Speaker:

He was taken to a nearby trauma center in critical condition.

Unknown Speaker:

As I just mentioned.

Unknown Speaker:

And as paramedics were attending to him, two other kids were found with gunshot wounds.

Unknown Speaker:

Both were taken to the hospital and are stable.

Unknown Speaker:

Shortly after that, the suspected shooter, who deputies believe the teens were trying to rob, return to the scene and turn himself in.

John Jamingo:

He's a good guy.

Duchess:

I heard some gunshots.

Duchess:

Sound like they were basically at my front door.

Duchess:

And of course, as you can see from behind me, they were down the.

Unknown Speaker:

Way a little bit, to be frank.

Duchess:

And honest with you.

Duchess:

I grabbed my gun, which is in a holster, and walked outside to see what was going on.

Duchess:

I'm sorry, this is in Texas.

Duchess:

It's not California.

Duchess:

Everybody's packing in Texas.

Duchess:

Jesus Christ.

John Jamingo:

This stars.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

I heard some gunshots, so you know what I did?

Duchess:

I grabbed my.

John Jamingo:

I got my gun too.

Duchess:

I grabbed my rod and out I went.

John Jamingo:

Everybody runs outside, like, what's happening?

Duchess:

Everybody.

John Jamingo:

All right?

John Jamingo:

What's going on, you kids?

John Jamingo:

Well, the.

John Jamingo:

It's the fact that this guy had to defend himself from a swarm of children.

Duchess:

12 year olds.

Duchess:

12 to 14 year olds?

John Jamingo:

Well, yeah, no, that's what I mean.

John Jamingo:

Like they bum rushed him and tried to rob him and he shot them all.

John Jamingo:

First of all, like, every one of them had a hole in him.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

I didn't see anybody.

Duchess:

But for, for first of all, I'm wondering if they were black people.

Duchess:

I'm not 100 sure.

Duchess:

I mean, the neighbor was.

Duchess:

Was dark, but I'm just saying, I.

John Jamingo:

Don'T we don't say he was dying.

Duchess:

Dark.

John Jamingo:

You say dark.

John Jamingo:

He was a black man.

Duchess:

Dark.

John Jamingo:

The one who spoke.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, yeah, he had.

Duchess:

He was.

Duchess:

He had a lot of melanin.

John Jamingo:

Melatonin.

Duchess:

Melatonin.

John Jamingo:

It's an absolute around and find out moment for sure.

Duchess:

All right, let's find out.

Duchess:

Leave.

Unknown Speaker:

The incident occurred due to an attempted aggravated robbery that involved the juveniles attempting.

Duchess:

To rob the adult male.

Duchess:

During the incident, the juveniles approached the male and they were displaying pistols.

Duchess:

The adult male retrieved his own pistol.

Unknown Speaker:

And shot the juveniles.

John Jamingo:

Where's your gunshots, John?

John Jamingo:

No, not appropriate.

Duchess:

No, I'm getting there.

Duchess:

And a little slow on here.

Duchess:

Hold on.

Duchess:

Here we go.

John Jamingo:

A little bit.

John Jamingo:

Oh, I'm hit.

Duchess:

Ouch, ouch, ouchie, ouchie.

Duchess:

Mom, he's shooting back.

Duchess:

Mom.

John Jamingo:

I can't.

John Jamingo:

So I guess the kids, they were displaying pistols.

Duchess:

Yeah, they.

Duchess:

They brought out their pistols and then they.

John Jamingo:

So I wonder if they were real guns or if they.

John Jamingo:

Or at least what the guy thought was pistols or if they.

John Jamingo:

They were pistols they actually got.

John Jamingo:

Who'd they get them from?

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

There's a video.

Duchess:

It's an airsoft video.

Duchess:

Oh, my God.

Duchess:

It is the funniest thing.

Duchess:

I love this thing.

Duchess:

And it's this kid who gets an airsoft pistol and he starts talking about.

Duchess:

And it's kind of like in the 80s.

Duchess:

Not that they had airsoft pistols, but it kind of has the same thing.

Duchess:

I wonder if I could find it.

Duchess:

Okay, but go ahead if you don't.

John Jamingo:

I don't even know what this is.

John Jamingo:

Reference.

Duchess:

I know, I'm sorry.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so John, what I'm saying, I'm going to find a video.

Duchess:

If.

Duchess:

If you Just about something.

Duchess:

I'm telling you, it's worth it.

Duchess:

It's so worth it.

John Jamingo:

If I can get to watch it, it'll be worth it.

Duchess:

No, it's, it's.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

It's.

John Jamingo:

Is it pure audio?

John Jamingo:

We could.

Duchess:

Listen, let me see.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

If I can get.

Duchess:

It's a cartoon.

Duchess:

Number one.

John Jamingo:

Oh, okay.

John Jamingo:

Okay, okay.

Duchess:

And then the kid narrates it.

Duchess:

Gun fight.

Duchess:

Yeah, cartoon.

Duchess:

Maybe.

John Jamingo:

Bruce says he gave them the Eastwood treatment.

John Jamingo:

He sure did.

Duchess:

Yeah, sure.

John Jamingo:

He sure did.

Duchess:

Let's see if I can find it.

Duchess:

All right, let's see.

Duchess:

Share screen and then do this.

John Jamingo:

So do you think the audio will be muted on the playback?

Duchess:

I don't think so.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

I don't know.

John Jamingo:

All right, Sparky, take some bets there for me.

Duchess:

Hang on.

Duchess:

It's not.

Duchess:

It's not a song.

Unknown Speaker:

His Gun wasn't real.

Unknown Speaker:

Luckily he wasn't massacred on the street.

Duchess:

Here we go.

Duchess:

Here it is.

Duchess:

Alright.

Unknown Speaker:

I was a big fan of airsoft guns when I was a kid.

Unknown Speaker:

If you don't know what an airsoft gun is, well, it's a plastic gun that kind of bridges the gap between a Nerf gun and a semi automatic rifle.

Unknown Speaker:

They shoot little plastic BB's and after about a week your whole house is littered with them.

Unknown Speaker:

Your dad's dumping them out of the toaster, your sister's digging them out of her ass crack.

Unknown Speaker:

You just go around shooting a bunch of holes in all the lampshades.

Unknown Speaker:

And I was the first kid on my block to get an airsoft gun.

Unknown Speaker:

Brought it out to show off to everybody.

Unknown Speaker:

They're all mesmerized.

Unknown Speaker:

I could conquer the whole goddamn world with this thing.

Unknown Speaker:

My buddy David literally took it out of my hand and he's like, ah, sweet.

Unknown Speaker:

This is sweet.

Duchess:

David.

Unknown Speaker:

What the fuck?

Unknown Speaker:

It was my turn to shoot Michael in the face.

Unknown Speaker:

It was a bit of a trendsetter I gotta say, because like a week later, every kid on the block had an airsoft gun.

Unknown Speaker:

They didn't have a normal airsoft gun like I did.

Unknown Speaker:

They had this fucking battery powered M16 tactical shit, fully automatic.

Unknown Speaker:

Get shot in the face 30 times in four seconds.

Unknown Speaker:

Hold on a damn minute.

Unknown Speaker:

Jesus, I'm using this stone age piece of crap.

Unknown Speaker:

My shit looks like a happy meal toy compared to yours.

Unknown Speaker:

Michael's over there, doesn't even have an airsoft gun.

Unknown Speaker:

He's like shooting BB's through a fucking straw like it's a blowgun.

Unknown Speaker:

He's wearing his puffy ass winter coat in the middle of July, has body armor, There'd always be somebody out of ammo, trying to call timeout.

Unknown Speaker:

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

Duchess:

Timeout, bitch.

Duchess:

There ain't no time.

Unknown Speaker:

Out in airsoft, you get home with a bunch of red welts all over your body like somebody gave you a smallpox blanket.

Unknown Speaker:

I eventually upgraded my arsenal, threw my handgun out and purchased a big ol sniper rifle.

Unknown Speaker:

Things bigger than my entire body.

Unknown Speaker:

Big ass scope on top of it.

Unknown Speaker:

Like I was gonna assassinate a public official.

Unknown Speaker:

Sure it didn't shoot fast like the other ones, but that thing had some power.

Unknown Speaker:

My friends hidin behind a car and shit, I'd just shoot through the fucking car.

Unknown Speaker:

First weekend I got that rifle, shot my cousin in the back.

Unknown Speaker:

The following weekend we had a closed casket funeral for him.

Unknown Speaker:

Now on one particular day we were playing capture the flag.

Unknown Speaker:

And it's important to note at this time they didn't put the big ass orange tips on these guns like they do nowadays.

Unknown Speaker:

Let you know it's a fake gun.

Unknown Speaker:

No, I just dab a bit of orange nail polish on the end of that bitch, call it a day.

Unknown Speaker:

And that kind of makes it a little hard for your neighbors to determine if you're outside playing or if you're committing an act of domestic terrorism.

Unknown Speaker:

Yeah, hi, 911.

Unknown Speaker:

There's a child with a deer rifle and he's running amok in the streets.

Unknown Speaker:

So I'm sitting there at my base, which is David's front yard.

Unknown Speaker:

I'm peeking through my scope like I'm about to put Lyndon B.

Unknown Speaker:

Johnson into office.

Unknown Speaker:

And I'm on the lookout for David.

Unknown Speaker:

Now where's David at?

Unknown Speaker:

Well, David has adhd, so he's not at his base and he's not at my base.

Unknown Speaker:

Hell, I don't even know if he even knew he was playing at the time.

Unknown Speaker:

Probably forgot all about it.

Unknown Speaker:

Chasing a butterfly and shit.

Unknown Speaker:

Now David decides to walk to one of the busiest streets in the city and wave around what looks to be an automatic assault rifle in the air.

Unknown Speaker:

Imagine David's surprise when about four seconds later, a goddamn paddy wagon pulls up in front of him.

Unknown Speaker:

Bunch of cops pile out.

Unknown Speaker:

They got their guns drawn on this completely oblivious attack.

Unknown Speaker:

Attention deficit child.

Unknown Speaker:

I wasn't there.

Unknown Speaker:

I was around the block waiting to shoot David in the teeth with my Kennedy killer.

Unknown Speaker:

But I bet that turd in his pants was massive.

Unknown Speaker:

It didn't take him long to figure out that David's gun wasn't real.

Unknown Speaker:

Luckily, he wasn't massacred on the street right there.

Unknown Speaker:

And then they load his ass in the back of the wagon like the wild animal that he is, and they pull up to the front of his house.

Unknown Speaker:

Now, I was there for this part, and I can say for sure that the turd in my pants was massive.

Unknown Speaker:

One cop gets out, he's like, put that goddamn rifle down.

Unknown Speaker:

So I threw it like the gun was on fire.

Unknown Speaker:

Dave comes out of the back of the truck looking like a shitty Dennis the Menace cartoon.

Unknown Speaker:

The hell do you think you kids are doing?

Unknown Speaker:

We're just playing.

Unknown Speaker:

Why is that kid wearing that puffy ass coat?

Duchess:

It's 94 degrees outside.

Unknown Speaker:

David's mom comes running out like they're filming an episode of Law and Order.

Duchess:

In her front yard.

Unknown Speaker:

So they get the chance to meet Ice T.

Unknown Speaker:

She's gotta deal with this bullshit.

Unknown Speaker:

Now, the cops were really cool about this whole shitty situation.

Unknown Speaker:

They gave David's mom her Arsenal of plastic weapons.

Unknown Speaker:

And they.

Unknown Speaker:

They're all like, well, we could have murdered your kid and got away with it, but, well, we didn't, so you're welcome.

Unknown Speaker:

Why don't you give him a wiffle ball bat or some shit to play with instead?

Unknown Speaker:

Jesus Christ.

Unknown Speaker:

So the moral of the story is, don't be a fucking idiot waving a weapon around in the street.

Duchess:

There you go.

John Jamingo:

All right.

John Jamingo:

Sparky asked you to link that video.

John Jamingo:

Can you please put it in Discord?

Duchess:

I will put the link to this.

John Jamingo:

Put it in the boomer bunker section of the Discord.

Duchess:

Okay, that's.

Duchess:

Isn't that good?

Duchess:

It's a good one, isn't it?

John Jamingo:

It's pretty funny, actually.

John Jamingo:

It's not wrong.

Duchess:

I know.

John Jamingo:

So basically, the Airsoft rifles were pretty much.

John Jamingo:

It's a paintball gun without the paint.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, it's paintballs.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

It's essentially.

John Jamingo:

And you just shoot pellets out of it instead.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's like.

Duchess:

Like I said, little plastic pellets.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

There it is.

John Jamingo:

That look like those fuckers would hurt, so you dropped it in.

John Jamingo:

Thank you much.

Duchess:

Oh, yeah, they.

Duchess:

They hurt.

John Jamingo:

All right.

Duchess:

But see, okay, so we, as kids would use real BB guns when we would play that, and we would shoot each other, but there was rules.

Duchess:

No shooting in the face, and you weren't allowed to pump it more than two times.

Duchess:

We would shoot each other with BB.

John Jamingo:

Gun pressure, I guess, in it.

Duchess:

Yeah, because you had the Red Rider BB gun.

Duchess:

Shoot your eye out.

John Jamingo:

I never had one.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

Well, you're a girl.

John Jamingo:

Well, my brother never had one either, so.

John Jamingo:

It's my mom, so no guns.

Duchess:

No guns in the house.

John Jamingo:

No, no, no, no.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

No guns.

John Jamingo:

I might have more respect for him.

Duchess:

That's why one of my favorite.

John Jamingo:

Not that I don't have respect for him, but I would love more.

Duchess:

I'm sitting at my base, and I'm looking through my scope like I'm about ready to put Lyndon B.

Duchess:

Johnson in office.

Duchess:

It's terrible reference with my Kennedy killer.

John Jamingo:

Kennedy killer.

John Jamingo:

Holy.

John Jamingo:

That was bad.

Duchess:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

Bruce says BB gun wars.

John Jamingo:

Levi jackets and newspaper armor.

Duchess:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

What else do we used to do?

John Jamingo:

Armor.

Duchess:

Yeah, we would take that and we would.

Duchess:

Like when we used to play hockey, we didn't have, like, hockey pads, like when you were playing street hockey.

Duchess:

So what you do is you'd find somebody throwing a couch out, and you take the cushions and you would cut the cushions, and you would get that, and you would put holes in it and tie ropes.

John Jamingo:

Padding.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And you would use that.

John Jamingo:

God only knows what was on that couch.

Duchess:

God damn.

John Jamingo:

Let's put it in our clothes.

Duchess:

My hockey pads smell like cat piss.

John Jamingo:

You're lucky that's all they smelled like.

Duchess:

My chest protector smells like vomit.

John Jamingo:

Is this the sex couch?

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

No.

Duchess:

Oh, no, that's all right.

John Jamingo:

You work close to your heart.

John Jamingo:

That's all that matters.

Duchess:

There you go.

Duchess:

Well, no, I just.

Duchess:

I think that.

Duchess:

I think that, like I said, the normal people, the people with common sense, right?

Duchess:

Even though they're leaning left, leaning right, we're like, you know what?

Duchess:

We got to get together because these people, these, you know, you got your blue hairs.

John Jamingo:

On the one side, minorities, really, it's minority.

John Jamingo:

But they're the loudest.

John Jamingo:

They're the loudest.

Duchess:

Oh, when you say minority, you mean like the Not.

John Jamingo:

Not as in not a racial minority?

John Jamingo:

Just as there's not as many of them, but they're so loud.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

I can't help but pay attention.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

And then on the other side, you got your Jesus freaks and you know that stuff.

Duchess:

So I'm just saying it's on both sides.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

I'm just busting new jobs.

Duchess:

What's that?

John Jamingo:

I'm just goofing on you.

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

Here's an interesting story for you.

Duchess:

There's a guy in Japan, and he has a proposition to help Japan's losing people left and right because the population's getting older and they're not getting married and not having children, so they're losing out.

Duchess:

So this guy, he has a plan, and I want to hear your thoughts on this.

Unknown Speaker:

A Japanese lawmaker proposed that women over 25 cannot marry and women over 30 must have their uteruses removed as a way to increase Japan's declining birth rate.

Unknown Speaker:

I'll explain.

Unknown Speaker:

Naoki Hayakuta has sparked widespread outrage with his controversial proposals aimed at addressing Japan's declining birth rates.

Unknown Speaker:

Hyakuta's remarks were made during a YouTube program where he discussed potential measures to increase Japan's birth rate.

Unknown Speaker:

He suggested that all women in Japan should undergo forced hysterectomies after the age of 30 and be banned from marrying after 25.

Unknown Speaker:

Additionally, Hyakuta proposed restricting women's access to education beyond the age of 18 to prioritize childbearing over other pursuits.

Unknown Speaker:

According to him, these extreme measures would pressure women to have children earlier, reversing the nation's demographic decline.

Unknown Speaker:

Japan has been grappling with the declining birth rate and an aging population for several decades.

Unknown Speaker:

ped to its lowest level since:

Unknown Speaker:

Japan's health ministry reported only 350,074 births between January and June, marking a 5.7% decline compared to the same period last year.

Unknown Speaker:

Women across Japan fiercely condemned the Conservative party leader's remarks, calling them oppressive and deeply misogynistic.

Unknown Speaker:

Facing intense backlash, Hyakuda later issued an apology, claiming his comments were merely a hypothetical idea.

Unknown Speaker:

He then stated that they were meant to spark discussion within the framework of a science fiction storyline and that he did not personally support these ideas.

Unknown Speaker:

What do you think about Hayakuda's remarks?

Unknown Speaker:

Let us know in the comments.

John Jamingo:

Okay, backpedal.

John Jamingo:

Back pedal.

John Jamingo:

Back pedal.

John Jamingo:

Oh, they can vote.

John Jamingo:

Oh, I up.

Duchess:

Only kidding.

Duchess:

Jinx.

Duchess:

You know what I think?

Duchess:

I think after 30, out with the uterus.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So again, I don't understand.

John Jamingo:

I didn't see.

Duchess:

You can't get married after 25 and.

John Jamingo:

You educate them either, right?

Duchess:

You can't.

Duchess:

Well, I understand they're not educated.

John Jamingo:

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Duchess:

Okay, well, what I'm saying is it takes them out of the workforce and makes them more domesticated.

Duchess:

You know, they used to be on.

John Jamingo:

Their feet like a dog.

John Jamingo:

Like, domesticated.

John Jamingo:

Why would you.

John Jamingo:

Why would women like a dog domesticated?

Duchess:

Well, because they're not out in the work.

Duchess:

Out in the working world, you know, they're not out doing.

John Jamingo:

You have a problem with women working?

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

What do I Jap.

Duchess:

I don't have a problem with women working.

Duchess:

I didn't start mine.

Duchess:

I'm telling you.

Duchess:

What.

Duchess:

Yakimodia Mushishishi over there.

John Jamingo:

Mitsubishi.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

Just because I'm a guy all of a sudden, that makes me.

John Jamingo:

Well, you're spinning it, so I'm not.

Duchess:

Whoops, sorry.

John Jamingo:

Play it again.

Duchess:

No, I'm trying to get it.

Duchess:

Sorry, sorry, Chari.

Duchess:

No, I'm just saying that he.

Duchess:

I guess he feels if they aren't educated, like, if they're not becoming doctors and engineers and whatever you women think that you want to do, accountants, that you can be at home, you know, making dinner and taking care of the children and God couldn't wait.

Duchess:

Like God.

Duchess:

Like God intended.

John Jamingo:

Drool.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God.

Duchess:

Just saying.

John Jamingo:

In your little universe, I'm.

Duchess:

Sure just, you know, back in the day and not even that long.

Duchess:

Well, I was going to say it's like 60 years ago.

Duchess:

That was the.

Duchess:

That was what?

John Jamingo:

That's a long time ago for some people.

Duchess:

It is for some of our listeners, that's.

John Jamingo:

That's a life.

John Jamingo:

That's lifetime.

Duchess:

That's their grandparents as soon as I.

John Jamingo:

Said it, it's your lifetime ago.

Duchess:

As soon as I said it, I was like, I get it.

John Jamingo:

But you know, back in my day, 30s.

Duchess:

Okay, here's the thing.

Duchess:

I have a great idea.

Duchess:

This is a great idea to help this along.

Duchess:

What you do is you make affordable housing for small.

Duchess:

For families that want to start.

Duchess:

You could give them like tax breaks and make it where the wife doesn't have to work until the children go to school.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

So they can stay home.

Duchess:

Look, here's the deal.

Duchess:

And I'm sure you went through this too when you were.

Duchess:

I don't know that.

Duchess:

I don't even.

Duchess:

I have no idea.

Duchess:

So I'm not even going to say it was you.

Duchess:

I'm going to use myself as an example.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

My ex wife went back to work and all she did was spend money.

Duchess:

All her money went to daycare because the kids went to preschool.

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

And, and all that.

Duchess:

So why not just stay home and raise your kids?

Duchess:

You know, you just.

Duchess:

How much money are you really?

John Jamingo:

Well, at that point, if you're working to pay daycare, if you're.

Duchess:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying is that, that's what happens now.

John Jamingo:

Disgrace, by the way.

John Jamingo:

But yeah, it's also sometimes for sub park hair.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Also I think that if you get pregnant by a guy.

Duchess:

Whatever happened to shotgun weddings?

Duchess:

When did that go out of style?

Duchess:

What?

John Jamingo:

The guy didn't want.

John Jamingo:

Doesn't want to get married.

John Jamingo:

What if he doesn't want to take care of the kid?

Duchess:

You know what?

John Jamingo:

Why you trap him into it.

Duchess:

You slipped one past the goalie, dude.

Duchess:

Oh, now, now you're in a penalty box.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so now that works conveniently.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so, all right, so if a 15 year old gets pregnant, she should get married.

Duchess:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so she should get married and have kids and.

Duchess:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

And be a baby factory.

Duchess:

Well, I don't know about a baby.

John Jamingo:

Factory, but I mean to suit this gentleman's needs.

Duchess:

Why is it to suit the gentleman's feet?

John Jamingo:

See, again, he's the one that proposed it.

John Jamingo:

It wasn't a woman who said it.

Duchess:

What I'm saying is if you're.

Duchess:

We're back to the Japanese guy, okay?

John Jamingo:

Oh, we're back.

Duchess:

Very hard.

Duchess:

It's very hard to figure out where.

John Jamingo:

We'Re going with this.

John Jamingo:

That was the topic, that was the question.

Duchess:

No, I changed it.

Duchess:

I said that, you know, now we're not sure we're on shotgun weddings now.

John Jamingo:

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you'd want me to answer the Questions?

Duchess:

No, I did.

Duchess:

I thought we answered that.

Duchess:

Now we're moving on.

Duchess:

No.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

I thought we were having more discussion.

Duchess:

All right, well, hang on.

Duchess:

Let's go back to Japan.

John Jamingo:

All right.

Duchess:

See, back in Japan, they used to bound the feet of the women so they'd stay small so they could try to stay.

Duchess:

Have to keep up with the men.

John Jamingo:

That was horrible.

John Jamingo:

Their feet were that big.

Duchess:

I know.

John Jamingo:

Bound them like three inches.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

They crippled women because they sleep.

Duchess:

I get it.

John Jamingo:

So that's good.

Duchess:

No, it's very bad.

John Jamingo:

No, it was bad.

Duchess:

It was very, very bad.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

Very bad.

Duchess:

They're trying to figure out.

Duchess:

Again, I said that.

Duchess:

I think it would make it a lot easier for children.

Duchess:

Children.

Duchess:

God damn it.

Duchess:

For young people.

Duchess:

And when.

Duchess:

I mean young people, I'm talking 20 or whatever, to go and get married if they were able to have a house and be able to, you know, and be able to afford it, you know, a household.

John Jamingo:

So are the options get married, have kids and get low income housing or lose all that if you decide to educate yourself to get a better job, to find something more suitable to your lifestyle and have kids later, say at 26 or 27.

John Jamingo:

But apparently this guy says no.

Duchess:

Yeah, I don't know.

John Jamingo:

You don't have them by 30, you gotta have your uterus ripped down.

Duchess:

Yeah, Right.

Duchess:

You have to be married by 25.

Duchess:

So if you're not married by the time you get out of.

John Jamingo:

You can't get married at all.

Duchess:

You can't get married at all.

John Jamingo:

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Duchess:

So then, so wait a minute.

John Jamingo:

So you can't get married to people to get married?

Duchess:

Right.

Duchess:

So if you can't get married, then why you let them have their uterus still?

Duchess:

You should just take the.

Duchess:

At 25, you can't get married.

Duchess:

You don't need your uterus anymore.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

Well, why not just snip the dude's nuts when they're 25?

John Jamingo:

Why do the women have to lose eating?

Duchess:

Okay, I'm with you on there.

Duchess:

Why not?

John Jamingo:

Hey, listen, he didn't suggest that.

Duchess:

If you can't get a wife by the time you're 25, you're undateable.

Duchess:

So we neuter you, we snip your nuts and then you can go around and shoot.

Duchess:

Stop your bloodline, you can shoot blanks, and that's it.

Duchess:

And then what happens is then it's more of a motivation to have children early.

John Jamingo:

It's a motivation to settle is what that is.

Duchess:

A motivation to settle?

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

You don't find your ideal person.

John Jamingo:

And some people, I mean, it's not like Japan has 12 people and then you gotta find one of them.

John Jamingo:

There's a lot of people, let's be real.

Duchess:

A lot of times it takes three or four times to find the right person.

Duchess:

So what do you want from me?

Duchess:

Japan, China, South Korea does not have the room to build more homes like America does.

Duchess:

Oh, okay.

John Jamingo:

Skyscrapers.

Duchess:

You get an apartment, move up, moving on up.

John Jamingo:

Literally, literally.

John Jamingo:

Skyscrapers.

Duchess:

You know, over in China, they built all these skyscrapers because they didn't really have work for people.

Duchess:

So they decided, oh, we'll build these skyscrapers.

Duchess:

Buildings, yeah, all these, this housing and all.

Duchess:

And then nobody, nobody used them.

Duchess:

They didn't have anybody to put in them.

Duchess:

So what did they do?

Duchess:

They just, they just knocked them all down not that long ago and build.

John Jamingo:

Them back up again.

Duchess:

What a big waste of money.

Duchess:

Yeah, well, you know, it was funny in Philadelphia they have the projects, there's, you know, the low income projects and they're just it the filth and scum.

John Jamingo:

And we thugs that are out there.

Duchess:

You know, when you put an elevator into projects, everything has to be stainless steel, thick stainless steel, and the platform has to be on an angle to the back of the hoist way.

Duchess:

And then there's.

Duchess:

So when they pee in the elevator, it runs out the back.

Duchess:

I'm serious.

Duchess:

That's in the code.

Duchess:

They have to be on an angle so the pee runs out the back of the elevator.

Duchess:

So then what they did.

Duchess:

So on top of every elevator has an inspection station.

Duchess:

So when you get on top of it, you can run it up and run it down, shut it off.

Duchess:

So these animals would get on top of the elevators, put it on inspection, and then it would charge people to go up the.

Duchess:

Oh, I'm sorry, you want to take a elevator up with your groceries?

Duchess:

$5.

Duchess:

So the cops would come in and you had it.

Duchess:

So then we had to go in and we had to put these stainless steel boxes on with those round tumbler keys that you, you know, that you see like on what kind of machines?

Duchess:

Like candy machines and all that, so.

John Jamingo:

Oh, okay, I know you know what I'm talking about.

John Jamingo:

Yep.

Duchess:

So we had to put them on so they could not get on the top of the elevator.

Duchess:

So they couldn't take the elevators out of service and use them.

Duchess:

So then what?

John Jamingo:

They charge people to live in their own building.

Duchess:

So then what they did was they just got in there and said, hey, if you want to get on here, give Me, five hours.

Duchess:

You can't get on the elevator.

Duchess:

They had people in there doing this.

Duchess:

So the one guy said, you know what they should do is they should make these projects out of straw and every three years just set them the fuck on fire.

Duchess:

A little burn to the ground and start over.

John Jamingo:

Honestly, you may as well.

Duchess:

Well, the size of the cockroaches and the size of the rats were unbelievable.

Duchess:

And the smell, you'd walk in there and it was just, it was horrible.

Duchess:

I, I can smell it now.

Duchess:

And I haven't been like, you can taste it.

John Jamingo:

Like you just.

Duchess:

ven't been in a project since:

Duchess:

I'm serious.

Duchess:

It was, it was horrible.

John Jamingo:

So that's a shame.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

But you know, again, if you have a, A place where you can.

Duchess:

Young people can have children and raise children, and then if you find some filthy slob that doesn't take care of their house or, you know, you just throw them out of the place, you evict them.

Duchess:

There's a certain standard of living that you have to live in to keep this place.

Duchess:

You have to keep it clean.

Duchess:

You know, look at that.

John Jamingo:

Conditions.

Duchess:

Yeah, conditions of.

Duchess:

Yeah, your conditions of, of having a house there and then you can work and then decide if you want to move out and buy something else, that's fine, but at least it's something.

Duchess:

And if you get a big, I don't know, housing a project area building or whatever with the people that are same age and everything, I, you know, you never know.

Duchess:

You.

Duchess:

I don't know, I just think that, you know, not loud.

Duchess:

Not allowing them to marry and cutting their uterus out of 30 is A.

John Jamingo:

Oh, that's a little ridiculous.

Duchess:

That's a little ridiculous.

John Jamingo:

I, it's very extreme and I, it's like it's a fear tactic.

John Jamingo:

I don't like that.

John Jamingo:

And I feel like again, he's part of the Conservative party, which they, they made sure making made it a point to mention.

John Jamingo:

So it's a little extreme.

Duchess:

I think it's kind of Handmaid's tale thing.

Duchess:

Kind of sort of.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, it's creepy.

John Jamingo:

I don't like that.

John Jamingo:

Nobody should be doing that.

John Jamingo:

Like that's, it's, it's.

John Jamingo:

Well, I was gonna say certainly in America, but I'm not against the idea of low income opportunities for young couples.

John Jamingo:

But where, like, where would you put them?

John Jamingo:

Like, you can't.

Duchess:

Anywhere.

John Jamingo:

Oh, it's a great thought, but you still need to sustain.

John Jamingo:

There needs to be work, you need to be able to educate.

Duchess:

You have to qualify for this.

John Jamingo:

Schools and supermarkets and.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

You have to qualify in certain areas.

Duchess:

The guy has to make a certain, the, the, the.

Duchess:

The guy has to make a certain amount of money to be able to sustain this.

John Jamingo:

By what age?

John Jamingo:

I don't know, 20, right out of school.

John Jamingo:

So a 20.

John Jamingo:

What were you making at 20?

Duchess:

At 20 years old, I was making.

Duchess:

I was making $7 an hour.

Duchess:

20 years old.

Duchess:

And that was in.

John Jamingo:

So mortgage payment, rent payment, you've been able to pay like $2,000.

Duchess:

My first.

Duchess:

Wait a minute.

Duchess:

So my first place that I rented was $400 a month, and I was making $280 a week.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

Duchess:

So I was able to live, you know, by myself.

Duchess:

I was able to do that.

Duchess:

it's back like it was in the:

Duchess:

You had three or four generations in the same household because nobody could afford to move out because everything was so expensive after the Depression.

Duchess:

That's why they're building so many hotels, because local government is putting families up in them in form of chief housing.

Duchess:

Yeah, I don't know.

Duchess:

The hotel's a little different.

Duchess:

It's only one room.

Duchess:

It's not really.

John Jamingo:

Well, it's the, you know, it is, but it's, it's all the, the amenities that are in it.

John Jamingo:

I'm not mad at the concept of a hotel, but again, is it the government purchasing.

John Jamingo:

Who they purchasing it from?

Duchess:

No, no, I'm not saying the government.

Duchess:

I'm saying you, you built.

Duchess:

I don't want the government involved.

Duchess:

You put the government involved, this thing goes off the rails immediately.

John Jamingo:

So who's in charge of this program?

Duchess:

You make, you put it out there where they can, where they charge rent and just.

Duchess:

You use.

Duchess:

What's that thing called capitalism?

Duchess:

You use capitalism to, to build these, these homes.

Duchess:

I'm just saying I don't.

John Jamingo:

Well, I think that's a very nice idea, but I don't think that's how it would ever work.

John Jamingo:

No, I don't think it would work.

John Jamingo:

I don't think it would work.

John Jamingo:

I don't think at 20, for a young family, we'll say, no, I'm.

Duchess:

You're a do.

Duchess:

I can't do.

Duchess:

Not a can do.

John Jamingo:

You're a fantasy man.

Duchess:

I'm not a fantasy man.

John Jamingo:

To see.

John Jamingo:

So you think at 20 that a young couple will say, both of them age 20, she's not going to school.

John Jamingo:

There's a baby.

Duchess:

She's she's graduated from high school.

John Jamingo:

She's graduated.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

She's graduated from high school.

John Jamingo:

She's gonna stay home and take care of the baby, which is the.

John Jamingo:

Was the outline.

John Jamingo:

She's gonna stay home and take care of the baby.

John Jamingo:

That means the young man would have to work full time.

John Jamingo:

Job, food, rent, car insurance, medical insurance.

John Jamingo:

You think he's going to do that with like a $2,000 a month rent?

John Jamingo:

How much would he have to make?

John Jamingo:

Like, it's one that was like.

John Jamingo:

The concept is great, but I don't think there needs to be more to it than they should.

John Jamingo:

Just get it.

John Jamingo:

I love it.

John Jamingo:

I would love my kids to get it.

Duchess:

I love the way you put words in my mouth.

Duchess:

You've been doing this the whole episode.

Duchess:

Put words in my mouth.

Duchess:

I never said.

Duchess:

You just get it.

John Jamingo:

He said you didn't want the government involved.

Duchess:

No, I don't want the government involved.

Duchess:

But you have to have certain things to qualify.

Duchess:

You know, when you buy a house, the government's not involved.

Duchess:

You know, there's a.

John Jamingo:

Yes, they are.

John Jamingo:

If you get a loan.

John Jamingo:

They are.

Duchess:

I don't think so.

Duchess:

Not when I got my mortgage.

John Jamingo:

I got a loan.

Duchess:

There was no government involved in my mortgage.

Duchess:

I went to a mortgage guy, he says, what do you make?

Duchess:

And I said this.

Duchess:

And the guy says, okay, you qualify for this house.

Duchess:

This.

Duchess:

This amount of money.

Duchess:

Well, I just don't understand this.

Duchess:

You're.

Duchess:

You're Tom.

Duchess:

You're.

Duchess:

You're Professor Tom and me all the episode.

John Jamingo:

I'm not.

Duchess:

I'm really not Professor Duchess over here.

Duchess:

Fine.

John Jamingo:

It'll be fantasy land.

John Jamingo:

And they.

John Jamingo:

These kids can just go and get.

John Jamingo:

Magically get.

John Jamingo:

Get their stuff.

John Jamingo:

There you go.

Duchess:

Hey, listen, I got about six more years of life left.

Duchess:

I don't care what you do after this.

Duchess:

Mortgages, but not thinking of property taxes, okay?

Duchess:

Listen, we get taxed to death anyhow.

John Jamingo:

Maybe we should love for those opportunities.

John Jamingo:

By the way, don't get me wrong.

Duchess:

We could shrink government.

Duchess:

I bet you we could shrink government all the way down, all the way down to local government.

Duchess:

You wouldn't need so many taxes.

Duchess:

You know, it's funny.

Duchess:

Down in South Carolina, taxes are like $400 a year or something like that.

Duchess:

It's ridiculous, you know, it's ridiculous.

Duchess:

Ridiculously cheap down there.

Duchess:

Now you might have to take your own trash to the dump or whatever, but.

John Jamingo:

Oh, that's terrible.

Duchess:

Well, you put.

Duchess:

I don't want do it all the time or, or.

Duchess:

Here's the other thing.

John Jamingo:

Take your trash to the dump.

John Jamingo:

Don't.

Duchess:

Or here's the other thing you do.

Duchess:

You contract with a, a garbage company and they come every week and they, they take your trash down.

Duchess:

It cost you like $35.

Duchess:

Or I forget, how much is 35?

Duchess:

70.

Duchess:

It's like $150 a month to get your trash taken.

Duchess:

And there's like different mine down to.

John Jamingo:

The curb and they just goes away.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And how.

Duchess:

What's your taxes?

John Jamingo:

That's fine.

John Jamingo:

I'm not mad at my town taxes.

Duchess:

I am.

John Jamingo:

I will be.

John Jamingo:

Now the taxes are going up because our local mayor is an asshat.

John Jamingo:

But.

John Jamingo:

Well, he.

John Jamingo:

There were opportunities to reduce the town debt and he did not take them.

Duchess:

Huh.

Duchess:

Yeah, exactly.

John Jamingo:

So he's a putz.

John Jamingo:

But no, I, I, we have, we have a lot of amenities in our town.

John Jamingo:

I'm not unhappy with what we have because I see neighboring towns that don't have what we have and they pay.

John Jamingo:

I've seen what their taxes are, and it's a lot.

John Jamingo:

It's a lot.

Duchess:

There's certain.

Duchess:

There's certain.

Duchess:

There's got to be a limit.

Duchess:

There's got to be a limit.

Duchess:

Stop.

Duchess:

You know, so many hands in your pocket.

Duchess:

You got the federal government, state government, local government, sales tax, property tax.

Duchess:

You know, it's ridiculous.

Duchess:

They're just income tax.

Duchess:

And then not only that, Social Security tax.

Duchess:

Yeah, right.

Duchess:

Not only that.

Duchess:

But then they just start giving it out like they're fucking Santa Claus.

Duchess:

You get a billion, you get billions.

Duchess:

You get billions.

Duchess:

They're giving it.

Duchess:

It's like, what the fuck?

John Jamingo:

Foreign countries, you get billions.

Duchess:

Yeah, they're just giving it out here.

Duchess:

Hey, Biden goes to Africa.

Duchess:

You know what you, you know what you blacks need?

Duchess:

You need a billion dollars.

Duchess:

Build you some low income taxing here.

John Jamingo:

So ridiculous.

John Jamingo:

Stop giving her money.

John Jamingo:

He needs.

John Jamingo:

Like, as soon as you lose in your election, you should be stopped from donating, from giving money away.

John Jamingo:

Like, stop it.

John Jamingo:

Because now it's intentional, right?

Duchess:

He's like, give it this way.

Duchess:

He's that away.

Duchess:

He's.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

What did he do today?

Duchess:

He did something the other day.

Unknown Speaker:

Croy.

John Jamingo:

Isn't he that.

Duchess:

Yeah, but he went somewhere and.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

Duchess:

He went somewhere and he was given money away or.

Duchess:

No, he's screwing.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

Damn it.

Duchess:

I just popped.

Duchess:

It was in my head for about two seconds and it just flew out like a moth.

Duchess:

It was like, just flew out of my head and now I can't remember what it was.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

God damn it.

John Jamingo:

Changing the subject now.

Duchess:

God damn it.

Duchess:

I can't remember.

Duchess:

I hate when that happens because I had this one point.

Duchess:

He did something that Clinton, Harris and Biden.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

Duchess:

And Obama, he did something that was kind of screwing him.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And I forget what it was.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

But it's not him.

Duchess:

It's not him.

Duchess:

It's probably people in his administration that are pissed off that now they're losing their jobs.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, that's all right.

John Jamingo:

They'll collect unemployment.

John Jamingo:

They'll make money.

John Jamingo:

Money.

John Jamingo:

They'll get hired by the next Democrat.

Duchess:

They're mad.

Duchess:

They're all mad.

Duchess:

And they got to figure out how to.

Duchess:

Because their messages isn't going well.

Duchess:

So now they, they.

Duchess:

They got to get a different message.

Duchess:

And.

Duchess:

And this is how they're.

Duchess:

They're going about it right here.

Duchess:

Watch this.

John Jamingo:

Young boys are turning conservative.

John Jamingo:

We need you to influence them.

Duchess:

Straight, white, left leaning, millennial man.

John Jamingo:

I thought I was supposed to take.

Unknown Speaker:

A back seat so that more marginalized voices could be heard.

Duchess:

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Jamingo:

What do you want?

John Jamingo:

I want immunity.

Unknown Speaker:

I want to say things are gay and I want to make jokes.

Unknown Speaker:

And if I make a joke, I want you to think about what the joke actually means instead of getting scared of the words.

Duchess:

Okay, you got a deal.

John Jamingo:

I'm not finished.

Unknown Speaker:

I want you to stop using the word mansplain and stop comparing men to bears.

John Jamingo:

Anything else?

Unknown Speaker:

Louis ck he's my favorite and he has good things to say.

Duchess:

What's that sound?

Unknown Speaker:

Is that the Department of Education being defunded?

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

People can like what they want to.

Duchess:

Like, and we'll stop using our perceived.

John Jamingo:

Moral superiority to be cruel to others.

Duchess:

Cool doing out here anyway.

John Jamingo:

I was just pretending to chop wood.

John Jamingo:

It's not so wrong.

Duchess:

That's what happened.

John Jamingo:

I'm mad at that.

John Jamingo:

That is.

John Jamingo:

It is.

John Jamingo:

It's ridiculous.

Duchess:

I know.

John Jamingo:

Nuts.

Duchess:

I mean, they're still picking on poor old Elon.

Duchess:

They're still going after him.

John Jamingo:

President Elon.

Duchess:

President Elon.

John Jamingo:

I love that.

John Jamingo:

That's great.

John Jamingo:

Like, that's what they're trying to do is scare people.

John Jamingo:

It's President Elon.

Duchess:

Really?

Duchess:

How does this happen?

Duchess:

That a guy, that a voter actually does something and, and puts it out and then people, influencers listen.

Duchess:

Listen to them.

Duchess:

Like, like Taylor Swift and.

Duchess:

And what's her name that was out there singing during the halftime show?

Duchess:

Beyonce.

John Jamingo:

Beyonce.

Duchess:

How did that go?

Duchess:

I couldn't.

Duchess:

I wouldn't.

Duchess:

I wasn't going to watch.

John Jamingo:

Honestly, that performance was very well done.

Duchess:

Was it?

John Jamingo:

I mean, I don't give a.

John Jamingo:

About her music.

John Jamingo:

I don't care either way.

John Jamingo:

But she did a great job.

John Jamingo:

Her daughter came out at the end.

Duchess:

Oh really?

Duchess:

How old is her daughter?

John Jamingo:

Beautiful.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, she must be like 15 or 16.

Duchess:

Oh, really?

John Jamingo:

Really pretty young lady.

John Jamingo:

J.

John Jamingo:

Jay Z wasn't there.

John Jamingo:

Shocking.

John Jamingo:

I'm not sure why he's hiding.

Duchess:

He's heading out of the country.

John Jamingo:

I know.

John Jamingo:

Like I'm not getting arrested because of Diddy.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

I'll be in Europe.

John Jamingo:

Hiding, Hiding with.

John Jamingo:

Was it Ellen Degenerate and Ellen Degenerate.

John Jamingo:

Intentional.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

And.

John Jamingo:

And Tom Hanks and all the other celebs that have like sneaking out of the.

Duchess:

They're terrified.

Duchess:

They're terrified that those lists are coming.

John Jamingo:

Out and you know something happening.

Duchess:

If you talk to somebody that's not a Trump supporter, like he'll never let them out because he's on the list.

Duchess:

Well, let's find out.

Duchess:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

Degenerates in England.

Duchess:

I said they're still.

Duchess:

They're asking Republicans about Elon Musk.

Duchess:

They just want somebody to just say something against them and it's not happening.

Duchess:

How do you feel about Elon Musk.

John Jamingo:

Kind of getting involved in politics?

John Jamingo:

From a backhanded way it seems.

Duchess:

I love it.

Duchess:

I think everybody should be involved in politics.

Duchess:

This place works best if people are involved, that they're paying attention, they're fully engaged, holding us accountable, keeping us like kind of where we need to be.

Duchess:

I think you're safe.

Duchess:

Byron.

Duchess:

There's a.

Duchess:

There's a.

Duchess:

Is that because he's black?

Duchess:

Is that why he's safe?

Duchess:

I don't know.

John Jamingo:

I think Byron Donald is.

Duchess:

I know, me too.

Duchess:

I like him.

Duchess:

He's one of the good ones.

John Jamingo:

I keep.

John Jamingo:

I hope he keeps good.

Duchess:

Politician, Republican.

John Jamingo:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

So I hope he continues to move up the ladder.

John Jamingo:

I know.

John Jamingo:

I heard what you said.

Duchess:

You can't prove it.

Unknown Speaker:

Yeah, you're good.

Duchess:

I mean, listen, the system doesn't work if everybody's not paying attention.

Duchess:

That's what got us into the mess.

Duchess:

No, that's true.

Duchess:

So we're in this mess now.

Duchess:

36 trillion massive agencies that don't do what they're supposed to do.

Duchess:

Because listen, America, best country in the world.

Duchess:

Most of our people have been focused on their lives, building their businesses, built great in their families and it's all great stuff.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

But the federal government in Washington has been operating without much of a check from the American people.

Duchess:

Love the Elon's involved.

Duchess:

We got to keep that going because that's how you save the Republic.

Duchess:

Right?

John Jamingo:

You know what?

John Jamingo:

Why not?

John Jamingo:

What's going to Happen.

John Jamingo:

They're not paying them.

John Jamingo:

They're not paying Vivek.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

Oversight is good.

John Jamingo:

I like people to look at shit.

John Jamingo:

That bill alone.

John Jamingo:

Ridiculous.

Duchess:

And they're so mad at it.

Duchess:

They're so mad.

Duchess:

And Dreamy Mike Johnson.

Duchess:

I'm sorry, but he's just as good for Dreamy Mike.

Duchess:

Culpable as the rest of them.

John Jamingo:

He is.

Duchess:

He was involved.

John Jamingo:

Well, I still think there's something that we are not aware of because there's no way he's in a text group messaging thing with Elon and Vivek and then tried to pull.

John Jamingo:

So he.

John Jamingo:

There's.

Duchess:

I think he did.

John Jamingo:

There's.

Duchess:

I think he did.

Duchess:

I don't think.

Duchess:

I don't think he thought that they were going to read that bill.

Duchess:

And when he read that bill, he was like.

Duchess:

And he's a Christian man, you know, and he doesn't drink, smoke, or.

Duchess:

He only cusses when it slips out.

John Jamingo:

Well, that's a damn shame.

Duchess:

And he said, what did they do?

Duchess:

Homework's on the phone.

Duchess:

Mitch, they read the fucking bill, huh?

Duchess:

What are we gonna do now?

John Jamingo:

Who's Mitch?

Duchess:

He.

John Jamingo:

Mitch should have left 20 years ago.

John Jamingo:

Pelosi on one arm and all the dipshits from California.

John Jamingo:

Was it that Maxine Waters.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God, she's gotta go.

Duchess:

I'm telling you right now, what they should do is at the beginning of the session, everybody at a certain age.

Duchess:

Let's make it 60.

Duchess:

Has to take a cognitive test.

John Jamingo:

Just you stumbling over that.

John Jamingo:

I'm still letting you hang.

Duchess:

I was trying to figure a word.

John Jamingo:

Cognitive.

Duchess:

I was trying to figure a word.

Duchess:

I was going to say.

Duchess:

What's the.

Duchess:

I wanted to say.

Duchess:

I had like three words and none of them came out right.

Duchess:

I was going to say cognac.

Duchess:

A cognac test.

Duchess:

I wanted to say cognac and I couldn't figure out the fucking word.

John Jamingo:

Kanye test.

Duchess:

Yeah, they have to take a Kanye test.

John Jamingo:

Bob says Elise Feinstein had the.

John Jamingo:

The decency to die.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

But they would still wheel their out there and she starts giving a speech and they're like, no, no.

Duchess:

Yes or no?

Duchess:

Just say yes.

Duchess:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Who they give her seat to?

Duchess:

I don't know.

John Jamingo:

Immediately.

John Jamingo:

I forgot.

Duchess:

I forget.

Duchess:

I don't know.

Duchess:

But it's, you know, it's ridiculous.

John Jamingo:

Here's a spa thought from Sparky.

John Jamingo:

It says, has anyone thought of how the Dems have no problem with killing babies, but they have an issue with killing those on death row?

Duchess:

Yeah, that's another one.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Biden.

Duchess:

He communicated.

Duchess:

He communicated all the death row patients, you know, I need a cognac test.

Duchess:

I'll tell you that right now.

John Jamingo:

I think you've been having a cognac test.

Duchess:

I need a cognac test.

John Jamingo:

Sparky says small words.

John Jamingo:

Small words.

Duchess:

Yeah, small words.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my goodness.

Duchess:

Sometimes I try to take a word and make it sound like I try to Archie Bunker it for kids back in the 70s.

Duchess:

There's a show called all in the Family.

Duchess:

And the guy Archie Bunker used to do that with words because he was old.

John Jamingo:

He did.

Duchess:

You know, Archie Bunker was in his 50s.

John Jamingo:

He was even in her late 40s.

John Jamingo:

It's so sad when you go back and look, I was like, God damn it.

Duchess:

Yeah, I'm older than Archie Bunker.

John Jamingo:

So old.

Duchess:

Doing this shit.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, I'm older than.

John Jamingo:

Than Dingbat.

John Jamingo:

What do you call her?

John Jamingo:

Dingbat.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

You?

Duchess:

Dingbat.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, I loved her.

John Jamingo:

She was so sweet.

John Jamingo:

And every once in a while, she came out with some deeper thoughts that you're like, oh, yeah.

Duchess:

I mean, I want things to go back to, like, the 80s and the 90s where we can have good TV shows.

Duchess:

We have to worry about offending fucking people.

Duchess:

And people can talk without qualifying what they're going to say.

Duchess:

You know when you say apologizing before you.

Duchess:

Yeah, apologizing.

Duchess:

Not that there's anything wrong.

Duchess:

If you want to do it, it's fine.

Duchess:

I hate that shit.

Duchess:

Shut up.

Duchess:

Just say what you want to say.

Duchess:

Like I do.

Duchess:

Say what you want to say and take your lumps.

John Jamingo:

Canceled.

Duchess:

Yeah, take your lumps.

Duchess:

That's all.

Duchess:

Here's a good.

Duchess:

Here's a feel good story.

Duchess:

You know Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports?

Duchess:

I love his one slice, one bite, Things of videos.

John Jamingo:

I do like that he was down by me.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

He comes in, grabs a pizza, opens it up, takes a.

Duchess:

Takes a bite, and gives it a score.

Duchess:

So it was in Baltimore.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And he ran into this guy.

Duchess:

Watch out for the snow.

Duchess:

Still Presidente.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

Oh, he said, watch out.

Duchess:

No, I didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

Duchess:

Tiny brick oven.

Duchess:

That looks good.

Duchess:

We have this whole backstory.

Duchess:

I didn't let him remake it because we're leaving the city.

Duchess:

We're parked illegally.

Duchess:

Wow.

Unknown Speaker:

The pleasure is all mine.

Unknown Speaker:

Nice to meet you.

Unknown Speaker:

Nice to meet you, too.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

We're picking up pie.

Duchess:

It's utter.

Duchess:

Austin.

Duchess:

This is unbelievable.

Duchess:

Yes, sir.

Unknown Speaker:

I gotta make you another one, man.

Duchess:

I don't have time.

Unknown Speaker:

You don't have time?

Unknown Speaker:

I'm sorry.

Unknown Speaker:

All right.

Duchess:

Okay.

Unknown Speaker:

Oh, my God, man.

Unknown Speaker:

This Is incredible.

Duchess:

Looks great, though.

Unknown Speaker:

This is so wild, man.

Unknown Speaker:

Can I get a selfie with you?

Duchess:

Yeah, of course.

Unknown Speaker:

Oh, my gosh, man.

Unknown Speaker:

You're like, my hero, bro.

Unknown Speaker:

Like, when all these businesses were shutting down and you were, like, doing all those grants and everything, and, like, I was like, man, this guy is a.

Unknown Speaker:

Is the deer is the real deal, man.

Unknown Speaker:

I appreciate that, man.

Duchess:

I'm glad we hit the spot.

Duchess:

This guy reminds me of Steel Toe.

Duchess:

He looks like Steel Toe.

John Jamingo:

He absolutely looks like he'd be related to that.

John Jamingo:

Yes.

Duchess:

I'm glad you hit it, too.

Unknown Speaker:

I didn't even know you were in Baltimore.

Duchess:

We just got into the day.

Unknown Speaker:

Welcome to Charm City, man.

Duchess:

Thank you.

Duchess:

I appreciate it.

Unknown Speaker:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

That's so cool.

Duchess:

Wow.

Duchess:

This.

Unknown Speaker:

You know, one of my.

Unknown Speaker:

One of my customers here, she's been tagging because we're getting ready to close.

Unknown Speaker:

And she was like, oh, what do you mean again?

Duchess:

We're getting ready to close, man.

Unknown Speaker:

We can't get our liquor license here.

Duchess:

It's been, like, closed forever.

Duchess:

Yeah, forever.

Duchess:

Forever.

Unknown Speaker:

And she was like.

Unknown Speaker:

She was like, oh, like, Stool, Presidente can help you.

Duchess:

Stool.

Unknown Speaker:

He's like, from my hometown.

Duchess:

I'm gonna tag him.

Duchess:

He's gonna show up.

Unknown Speaker:

I was like, well, we're just not making any money, man.

Unknown Speaker:

It's been crazy.

Unknown Speaker:

The thing is, our politicians gave this market down here their liquor license, but they won't give us ours.

Unknown Speaker:

It's been.

Unknown Speaker:

It's been crazy, man.

Unknown Speaker:

It's been totally crazy.

Unknown Speaker:

I immediately thought of her, man.

Unknown Speaker:

I was completely blown away.

John Jamingo:

Well, stop it so you don't have to play the whole thing.

John Jamingo:

So basically, this guy's very chatty.

Duchess:

Jesus.

John Jamingo:

Very.

John Jamingo:

A very nice young man who has a pizza place in Baltimore, apparently very good pizza.

John Jamingo:

Dave Portnoy shows up to review it, finds out, as you heard, that the guy's looking to close on Christmas because he's not making any money issues with the city, all that bullshit.

John Jamingo:

It was.

John Jamingo:

It's a long, long video.

John Jamingo:

It's like a five minute video.

John Jamingo:

Five or six minutes, right?

John Jamingo:

It's on our X feed.

John Jamingo:

I put it up, I think Christmas Eve or Christmas Day even.

John Jamingo:

And it is a warm, fuzzy video.

John Jamingo:

If you can get through the whole thing, it is the last.

Duchess:

Are you going to tell the story?

Duchess:

What happened?

John Jamingo:

Well, I'm kind of summing it up.

John Jamingo:

I didn't think you were going to play the whole video.

John Jamingo:

So basically, Dave Portnoy rated his pizza, thought it was good, and then asked him what did he need?

John Jamingo:

He went back inside, asked him what did he need?

John Jamingo:

And the guy didn't even have a number ready.

John Jamingo:

Finally came up with a number and Dave Portnoy said, deal done.

John Jamingo:

You got it.

Duchess:

$60,000.

Duchess:

He's giving him $60,000 to so he can keep the place.

John Jamingo:

That guy was stupid, stunned.

John Jamingo:

And he's a young, He's a veteran, trying to keep this thing going.

John Jamingo:

Feeding the homeless, providing meals for people as they, as they need them.

John Jamingo:

Like one of those, like, pay ahead sort of opportunities where if you want to pay for a meal for somebody.

John Jamingo:

So the guy really does a lot of good in the community and not only with the businesses.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And not only that.

Duchess:

He, he, right now there's.

Duchess:

He has so much business, he can't even keep up.

Duchess:

Right now people in the community are ordering pizza from him.

Duchess:

So it is a good, feel good story.

Duchess:

But my God, that guy can talk.

Duchess:

Jesus Christ.

Duchess:

He talks and says.

John Jamingo:

I think he was so excited that Dave Port and I walked in literally like a couple days before.

John Jamingo:

Well, wouldn't you chatter?

John Jamingo:

I mean, you'd be nervous.

John Jamingo:

These guys seemed a little nervous maybe.

Duchess:

I don't think I would.

Duchess:

I think I would get to the point.

Duchess:

No, I think I would.

Duchess:

Listen, I'm a seasoned podcaster.

Duchess:

I know how to talk.

John Jamingo:

Yes.

Duchess:

I might not be able to.

Duchess:

I might not pronounce words correctly, but I sure do know how to talk.

Duchess:

One thing I can do.

John Jamingo:

Not so pretty.

Duchess:

But I can get to the point.

Duchess:

No, I, I think that's great.

John Jamingo:

Again, it was a, It's a very nice video.

John Jamingo:

And it's just, again, it's just the warm fuzzies.

John Jamingo:

Because it's so nice to see something good like Dave, he's got tons of money and not that he didn't earn it and, and deserves it, but it's nice that he just like, he said, oh, 60,000.

John Jamingo:

And the guy came up with the number and he just, he was just like, done.

John Jamingo:

Here's, here's my number.

John Jamingo:

Let's set it up.

Duchess:

We'll give you 60 grand.

John Jamingo:

He liked the pizza enough and he liked the story.

Duchess:

And the guy, he gave it a 7.9.

Duchess:

You know, it's not really.

Duchess:

It's.

John Jamingo:

It's a good number for a reheated pizza.

Duchess:

Oh, okay.

Duchess:

Reheated pizza.

John Jamingo:

Because he wouldn't let him make a fresh pie.

John Jamingo:

I gotta go.

Duchess:

So he, because he does, you know, he's usually for like a real good pizza is like in the eights, like 8, 4, 8, 5.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

7, 9.

Duchess:

I was like, that's not a great score.

Duchess:

It's an average.

Duchess:

I would say it's one of his average scores.

John Jamingo:

He qualified it saying it was a.

Duchess:

Okay.

Duchess:

I didn't, I, I didn't get to the end because a guy wouldn't shut the.

Duchess:

Up.

John Jamingo:

The guy talks.

John Jamingo:

He, he was so excited though.

John Jamingo:

He was, he was so happy.

John Jamingo:

And it was just, it was nice.

John Jamingo:

It was just a nice thing to see.

Duchess:

It was a feel good story.

John Jamingo:

I like those.

John Jamingo:

And, and so Here he said 60k to stay open.

John Jamingo:

He was fair.

John Jamingo:

He didn't get greedy because he didn't say like, oh, 100 grand.

Duchess:

Yeah, you know, that was good.

John Jamingo:

But Google head says I too have a failing pizza place and need $60,000.

John Jamingo:

Me too.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

You know what you do?

Duchess:

You go over to, you go over to the supermarket and you buy because Portnoy has his own pizza brand, I think it's called.

John Jamingo:

Oh, does he?

Duchess:

Yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

It says frozen pizza.

Duchess:

You go buy them and you heat them up and you get 60 grand for that.

Duchess:

You buy his pizza.

Duchess:

It's a profit deal.

Duchess:

Huh.

John Jamingo:

Do you know what brand?

John Jamingo:

I have no idea.

Duchess:

It's his own brand.

Duchess:

He has his own brand.

Duchess:

What's it called?

Duchess:

It's called One Bite.

John Jamingo:

Oh, I have no idea.

Duchess:

Hang on.

John Jamingo:

No, that's fine.

Duchess:

I want to give it a go.

Duchess:

I'll give it a goo.

John Jamingo:

Okay, give it the googs.

John Jamingo:

He came down to Long beach island and raided one of the Surf City pizza places.

John Jamingo:

And they were very excited about it.

John Jamingo:

They did pretty good because you know, as soon as they pick the pizza up and you see it like bend, I'm like, oh, it's got the flop.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's no good.

John Jamingo:

No flops.

John Jamingo:

Gotta have good.

Duchess:

He's got another one.

Duchess:

One Bite pizza.

Duchess:

It's called One Bite Pizza.

Duchess:

Yeah, and it's a, it's in your frozen.

Duchess:

It's in your frozen food section.

John Jamingo:

That goes against what he does for the pizza places, like go support local pizza places or buy my frozen pizza.

Duchess:

But if you don't want to go out and you want a good frozen pizza, just buy my One Bite frozen pizzas.

John Jamingo:

See, I started following him a little bit more when he got that the, the rescue dog that does Peaches, I think it's name, the dog's name is okay.

John Jamingo:

And he, he like, I don't know how the process was, but I think he wasn't expecting to get a dog and now got a dog.

John Jamingo:

And this dog is spoiled rotten.

Duchess:

Of course it is.

John Jamingo:

And she.

John Jamingo:

Oh good.

John Jamingo:

Well, he loves the dog.

John Jamingo:

So it's, it's just funny to, to see him.

John Jamingo:

Like the dog comes in all the videos, all the videos and it's just, it's fun.

John Jamingo:

I miss my dog.

John Jamingo:

So are you getting.

Duchess:

Not getting another dog?

John Jamingo:

Not yet.

John Jamingo:

We're not home enough.

John Jamingo:

I feel bad, okay.

John Jamingo:

I don't want to get a dog and then we're not home to play with it, take care of it.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

It's a chunk of my time.

John Jamingo:

I'm not here.

John Jamingo:

Paul's not here.

Duchess:

You're an empty nester now.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, I'm out and about, man.

John Jamingo:

I got shit to do.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

Places to go, people to see.

Duchess:

Yes.

Duchess:

You've already raised your kids.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, okay, I'll take.

Duchess:

I get it.

John Jamingo:

Oh, Bruce.

John Jamingo:

Ain't nothing like a California west coast pizza.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, you can keep it.

Duchess:

You keep that garbage.

John Jamingo:

Keep that tomato pizza.

Duchess:

Tomato soup on dough on crackers.

John Jamingo:

Jersey is the best pizza.

John Jamingo:

Better in New York.

John Jamingo:

I would say if anybody competes with us, it would be New York pizza.

Duchess:

Right?

John Jamingo:

I would, I would say we are neck, neck to neck on that.

Duchess:

All right, so we don't have a.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

The rest.

Duchess:

As a restaurant manager for over a decade, it is part of the gig to talk to customers.

Duchess:

Yeah, I understand, Adam.

Duchess:

I understand that.

Duchess:

It's.

Duchess:

Talk to them.

Duchess:

But just don't keep repeating yourself.

Duchess:

It makes you.

John Jamingo:

Hi, Adam.

Duchess:

You start to.

Duchess:

You start to get.

Duchess:

You start to recoil as a customer if a guy walks out and says, hey, how's the pizza?

Duchess:

Good.

Duchess:

And, oh, you know something?

Duchess:

Just keep it going.

Duchess:

You just keep repeating yourself.

Duchess:

You look stupid.

John Jamingo:

It's a trick to make it seem like your food isn't taking as long.

John Jamingo:

If you're providing conversations station.

John Jamingo:

And that's correct because otherwise you're just standing there blinking at each other.

John Jamingo:

So you keep.

John Jamingo:

You talk.

John Jamingo:

How you doing?

John Jamingo:

And it's Dave Portnoy.

John Jamingo:

So he's going to talk to him.

John Jamingo:

He's probably starstruck.

Duchess:

I have some stupid.

Duchess:

Yeah, you pretend like you've been there before.

Duchess:

Just saying.

John Jamingo:

Been there before where?

John Jamingo:

Pretend like people know who he.

Duchess:

Pretend like you've been there before.

Duchess:

Pretend like it's not a big deal that he's there.

Duchess:

I'm a.

Duchess:

Okay, all right.

Duchess:

Day, poor night walks in.

Duchess:

Dave, big fan.

Duchess:

Love to have you here.

Duchess:

Listen, I would like to make a real new pie for you.

Duchess:

All right?

Duchess:

Let me reheat a pie.

Duchess:

You have to give me something.

Duchess:

And then I'm glad you're here because if you're here next week we're going to be closing and he asks whatever and Then you know, not just repeating yourself, rubbing your hands on your.

Duchess:

I didn't know whether to give him a pizza or steal second base.

John Jamingo:

Did you Monday morning quarterback this poor guy talking to Dave Portnoy?

Duchess:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

So it's so easy to watch and go like, wow, he's really chatty.

Duchess:

He's very true.

John Jamingo:

He's more like Aaron than you thought.

John Jamingo:

I said that Google head says let the man stim.

John Jamingo:

Absolutely.

John Jamingo:

Oh, they poured out here.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, he was.

John Jamingo:

He was rubbing that apron.

John Jamingo:

He was so nervous, that poor guy.

John Jamingo:

I'm sure looking back, he's probably like, oh my God.

John Jamingo:

I didn't.

John Jamingo:

Shut up because that's.

Duchess:

He's embarrassed.

John Jamingo:

I'm sure he is.

John Jamingo:

But at least he's able to stay open and I'm very happy about that.

John Jamingo:

I hope he gets his liquor Liz license.

John Jamingo:

You can go to his.

John Jamingo:

If you get to the end of the video, there's a link where you can sign your name and click for a thing to get him.

John Jamingo:

See if he get him to get on the list to get his liquor license.

John Jamingo:

So.

Duchess:

But you're not in bal.

John Jamingo:

Why not?

Duchess:

I get it.

Duchess:

All right.

Duchess:

Do you want to do here we can do I have a couple.

Duchess:

Am I the.

Duchess:

That is about Christmas?

John Jamingo:

Oh, absolutely.

John Jamingo:

Are they train wrecks?

Duchess:

Well, here's one I would really like to go to because it kind of hits home for me.

Duchess:

Okay, all right, here we go.

Duchess:

Am I the asshole for telling my wife I don't want to spend Christmas with her family every year?

Duchess:

My wife, 28, female.

Duchess:

My wife comes from a very close knit family.

Duchess:

Every single Christmas we spend the holidays with her parents, sister and her sister's family.

Duchess:

It's always the same.

Duchess:

Wake up at the at their house, open presents, big lunch and an evening spent playing board games.

Duchess:

Don't get me wrong, I love our family.

Duchess:

The tradition is nice.

Duchess:

But here's the issue.

Duchess:

In the six years we've been married, we've never had a Christmas.

Duchess:

It's just us or even one with my side of the family.

Duchess:

My parents live across the country and traveling to see them during the holidays is expensive.

Duchess:

So we usually do end up visiting them at another time.

Duchess:

This year I suggested we do something different.

Duchess:

I wanted to spend Christmas with just the two of us and our daughter at home or even go to my parents for once.

Duchess:

My wife immediately shut it down, saying Christmas is meant to be spent with her family and would break their hearts if we didn't come.

Duchess:

When I pressed the issue, she said I was being selfish for not valuing the Traditions that are important to her.

Duchess:

And I told her it feels like her family's feelings always come first and that I want to start some of our own traditions, even if it's just every other year.

Duchess:

Now that she's upset and told me I've ruined the holiday spirit, her parents even got wind of the conversation.

Duchess:

Wonder how that happened.

Duchess:

Not sure how.

Duchess:

And are now saying they don't know if they did.

Duchess:

They don't know what they did to make me feel unwelcome?

John Jamingo:

No.

Duchess:

Am I a jerk for wanting to switch things up for Christmas or should I just accept that her family's.

Duchess:

Her family's traditions are the total.

John Jamingo:

She's a total.

John Jamingo:

How dare you.

John Jamingo:

Well, well, okay, so it's in the six years we've been married.

John Jamingo:

So that means she was 22 and he was.

Duchess:

She's 28, so.

Duchess:

So they got married at 22 for the.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

So.

Duchess:

Well, six years they've been together.

Duchess:

Six years.

Duchess:

We don't know how.

Duchess:

The kid's five, so I would imagine.

John Jamingo:

Okay, well, they said for the six years we've been married.

Duchess:

Oh, okay.

Duchess:

I'm sorry.

John Jamingo:

Okay, so that means they got married kid right away and they don't.

John Jamingo:

They've never had Christmas in their own home?

Duchess:

No.

John Jamingo:

See, so the way we did it, because when we were sans kids and either living together and or married, like it got to the point it was just.

John Jamingo:

We were, we were able to travel.

John Jamingo:

So whoever had the baby, like at that point where there's nobody here, but my sister in law would come out from California and she'd go to my mother in law.

John Jamingo:

So we'd go to my mother in law's, do Christmas dinner.

John Jamingo:

We did Christmas morning with my mom and my grandmother.

John Jamingo:

We stopped to see my dad.

John Jamingo:

So it was like a whole.

John Jamingo:

Every year.

John Jamingo:

This is what we did.

John Jamingo:

So we visited like dignitaries.

John Jamingo:

We started at one house, ended at another.

John Jamingo:

So.

John Jamingo:

But once we had kids, once we had our eldest, they all came down to us and we, we created our own tradition and then we ended up reworking some other.

John Jamingo:

And here's the thing.

John Jamingo:

You can celebrate Christmas anytime.

John Jamingo:

Just because it's December 25th does not mean you couldn't celebrate Christmas the week before or the week after or just create your own tradition.

John Jamingo:

Like it's not.

John Jamingo:

People are such dicks.

John Jamingo:

Like, stop it.

John Jamingo:

So did your kid have Christmas in her own home?

Duchess:

Well, when I was dating my ex wife, right the first time that I went for Christmas to her family's house, I was informed that they do Christmas this way every Year they all come to this house that this is, you know, this.

Duchess:

And I used to call it the, the seven days.

Duchess:

I used to have the seven days.

Duchess:

There were seven of them.

Duchess:

The seven days of ex wife's family's Christmas.

Duchess:

We used to have to go to everybody's house and see everybody's tree.

Duchess:

I'm like, it's a fucking tree.

Duchess:

It's got lights, it's got Christmas balls.

Duchess:

I really don't give a fuck, you know, so you spent every day.

Duchess:

Now they've moved away and you know, so that it's not that way anymore.

Duchess:

But I understand it, you know, when a family's overbearing and they don't want to share or, you know, we never went to my mother's or anything like that.

Duchess:

It was tough.

Duchess:

And I used to catch too from my mom.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Because she's like, you know, what's this?

John Jamingo:

What am I, chopped liver?

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

And sometimes they would invite my mom to, to the family thing.

Duchess:

But I don't know, it's again, it should be where they switch back and forth.

Duchess:

It should be in every other year thing.

Duchess:

It's only fair.

John Jamingo:

I think every other year is completely, completely fair, you know, and why not invite, why not have your own tradition?

John Jamingo:

Invite your, your parents to stay with you?

Duchess:

You know, it was really weird.

Duchess:

This is how we kind of did it with my.

Duchess:

When I was a kid, this is how we kind of did it.

Duchess:

So Christmas Eve we, We had a huge house.

Duchess:

And so Christmas Eve we had, Everybody was open house, anybody wanted to come over, my dad's friends, my mom's friends, our family.

Duchess:

It was there.

Duchess:

We had food.

Duchess:

There was all kinds of food come.

John Jamingo:

In and out all day.

Duchess:

Yeah, they came in and out all day.

Duchess:

And then on Thanksgiving, we would make it.

Duchess:

We would go to my mom's, my aunt's on my mom's side for dinner.

Duchess:

Or the next year we would go to my uncle's on my dad's side, you know, whatever.

Duchess:

But it was like in every other thing, every year thing.

Duchess:

But the, the New Year's Eve thing was, was really cool because like, you know, you had your cousins over and it was, you know, I mean, the place, the house was filled with people.

Duchess:

It was really fun.

John Jamingo:

Awesome.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So.

Duchess:

But that was kind of, that was one way of doing it, or you kind of work it out.

Duchess:

But when, when someone sits there and says, oh, we have traditions and this is it and you have to, you know, it's my way or the highway.

John Jamingo:

You got to create new traditions.

John Jamingo:

There's new people in your family.

John Jamingo:

You have to include them.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, they have their people.

John Jamingo:

So what do you just drop everybody like their piece of.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

You know, it was, it's very.

John Jamingo:

It was very difficult.

John Jamingo:

It made.

John Jamingo:

There were some holidays that I was just like, I don't want to eat another bite of turkey at another house.

John Jamingo:

Because we'd start, start with my mom, my grandmother, because of course.

John Jamingo:

And then we'd go to my, my dad and then finally went my dad's like, don't eat, don't, don't, don't.

John Jamingo:

It's fine.

Duchess:

Or you would go to.

Duchess:

You would go to one person's house.

John Jamingo:

For dinner, dessert at the other, dessert.

Duchess:

At the other ones.

Duchess:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Yeah.

John Jamingo:

It still felt dirty though.

John Jamingo:

Like, it's still like, I can only be here for an hour and a half.

John Jamingo:

Like it was just.

Duchess:

I'm like, where's the pie?

Duchess:

Well, we're here on the table.

John Jamingo:

Then it was like my mom, my mom.

John Jamingo:

My grandmother would eat early and then.

John Jamingo:

So by the time we got to my mother in law's, it was a whole nother meal.

John Jamingo:

And you know her, her foods were different than what my mom and my grandmother made.

John Jamingo:

So of course I got to try some of these.

John Jamingo:

And I remember the first year I did that, I was like the next morning, I'm like, I'm so sick.

John Jamingo:

Like all these like very rich, bull, buttery.

John Jamingo:

I came from my mom, my grandmother's.

John Jamingo:

It was all like leaner because everybody had cholesterol issues.

John Jamingo:

Not nobody had.

John Jamingo:

Well, everybody had cholesterol issues at my mother in law's house because everybody ate butter and gravy and grease and bacon.

John Jamingo:

It was delicious.

John Jamingo:

But I was sick for like two days afterwards.

Duchess:

It's so rich.

Duchess:

Well, what's nice now is I'm on the.

Duchess:

I'm on the manjaro.

Duchess:

So when I go, it's just like a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and all on the next day.

Duchess:

I didn't have any problem.

Duchess:

Traditions got thrown out.

Duchess:

Out when the kids had kids and other in laws involved and spread out.

Duchess:

Yeah, spread out all over the.

Duchess:

Yeah, it's tough.

Duchess:

It's really tough.

Duchess:

Just got to make it work, that's all.

Duchess:

It's like sex.

Duchess:

Try something different and then do anal every other time.

Duchess:

Okay, Dean.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

When in doubt, tri anal.

Duchess:

That's Dean's.

Duchess:

That's what?

John Jamingo:

There's a drop.

John Jamingo:

Mike, can you please grab that?

Duchess:

Answer to everything.

Duchess:

Anal.

John Jamingo:

Here's what Mike says.

Duchess:

Hair pie.

Duchess:

The absolute best.

John Jamingo:

Oh, gross.

John Jamingo:

Oh, Sparky wants to Know if you shot guns every New Year's Eve?

Duchess:

We did.

John Jamingo:

Apparently people do around here.

Duchess:

Yeah, we did fireworks.

Duchess:

But we would go out and shoot them in the air like retards because they.

Duchess:

All that stuff's got to come down, you know, Anal equals default move.

Duchess:

I don't know, man.

Duchess:

Dean, I would say, you know, if that's your.

Duchess:

If that's your gig, and God love you if it is.

Duchess:

You know, you should be able to give and receive.

Duchess:

Got to get past the ring of pain.

Duchess:

I got a God burning ring of.

John Jamingo:

Pain I hurt my myself to.

Duchess:

I hurt myself tonight the wife drove it in so dry the blood began.

John Jamingo:

Well, that's a happy holiday message for everybody.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my goodness.

Duchess:

All right, we're going to talk about.

John Jamingo:

But did you have a.

John Jamingo:

Do you have a good holiday, though, otherwise with the kids?

Duchess:

Yeah, it's.

Duchess:

Honest to God, it's like, I hate Christmas and I'm so glad it's over.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

I hate Christmas.

Duchess:

So.

John Jamingo:

No, I know grandbabies and stuff.

Duchess:

Yeah, that was fun.

Duchess:

I.

Duchess:

It was.

Duchess:

My daughter knitted my granddaughter a unicorn that's from a TV show.

Duchess:

And it.

Duchess:

You know what it looked like?

Duchess:

It looked like the.

Duchess:

What's the lady that used to have the.

Duchess:

The lamb.

Duchess:

What was Sherry?

John Jamingo:

Lamb Chop.

Duchess:

Lamb Chop and Sherry.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

Sherry Lewis, I think.

Duchess:

Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop.

Duchess:

So I hate that thing.

Duchess:

So now I have the thing on my hand and now she's like.

Duchess:

And I'm like, so I didn't know that this was a cartoon character that's named Unicorn.

Duchess:

So then I got to do.

Duchess:

I'm like, what's my name?

Duchess:

And then she goes, unicorn.

Duchess:

I go, unicorn.

Duchess:

That's what I am.

Duchess:

What's my name?

Duchess:

And she's like, unicorn.

John Jamingo:

Unicorn.

Duchess:

And I'm like, yoon Acorn.

Duchess:

Is that my name?

Duchess:

Yoon Acorn.

Duchess:

And she's like, unicorn.

Duchess:

I'm like, okay, Unicorn.

John Jamingo:

Messing with your granddaughter.

John Jamingo:

How old is she?

Duchess:

She's three.

John Jamingo:

No.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

So, yeah, it was fun.

Duchess:

So now I'm doing.

Duchess:

Yeah, I'm doing material.

John Jamingo:

Fascinating.

Duchess:

I'm doing material for my.

Duchess:

My granddaughter.

Duchess:

And I'm like, I'm running out of G material here.

Duchess:

I'm gonna have to use the word cunt soon, so.

John Jamingo:

Oh, my God.

John Jamingo:

Yeah, but she'll repeat it.

John Jamingo:

That's the problem at 3.

John Jamingo:

They remember those words.

Duchess:

I know.

Duchess:

I'm going to tell the story.

John Jamingo:

I got this shirt.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

I'm going to tell the story that I told Duchess.

Duchess:

So my granddaughter's.

Duchess:

I think she's four.

Duchess:

No, she's Four.

Duchess:

I'm sorry, she's four.

Duchess:

So my ex wife texted my daughter and it was like 9:00 and the text goes off and.

Duchess:

And my granddaughter goes, who the fuck is texting this late?

Duchess:

And you know when something comes out.

John Jamingo:

Like that, you want to bring.

John Jamingo:

You know who your granddaughter is.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

You want to bust up.

John Jamingo:

Laughs.

Duchess:

Crack me up.

Duchess:

We're kid.

John Jamingo:

Oh, her mother must have been like.

Duchess:

Oh, oh, you just crack up.

Duchess:

It's hysterical.

John Jamingo:

You can't, you can't.

John Jamingo:

I know, because you notice it's not.

John Jamingo:

It's not even the fact they curse.

John Jamingo:

It's the fact they use it in absolutely the right context and tone.

John Jamingo:

Shocking.

John Jamingo:

My daughter wants my younger one.

John Jamingo:

She was in the house and I had the dishwasher open.

John Jamingo:

I was loading it and she tripped and fell and like, just like, great.

John Jamingo:

Almost like could have literally popped her eye out like on the corner.

John Jamingo:

Of course.

John Jamingo:

Just misses it.

John Jamingo:

I was like, oh.

John Jamingo:

And then, you know, picked her up and she was fine.

John Jamingo:

And then when we were driving in the car like a week later and I, I turned sharp or something and I hear in the back, oh.

John Jamingo:

Like I was like, oh, no.

John Jamingo:

Like, and it was like perfectly placed.

John Jamingo:

Like, it was like, she wasn't wrong.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

I just can't have 3 year olds saying, oh, you know, yeah.

John Jamingo:

Or worse.

Duchess:

Who the is texting this late?

Duchess:

All right, are we doing anything with the steps?

John Jamingo:

We are not.

John Jamingo:

Because we're going to do a final recap.

Duchess:

Okay.

John Jamingo:

On Monday.

John Jamingo:

So you all just have to hang in there for that.

Duchess:

All right.

John Jamingo:

Last little bit.

John Jamingo:

And Josh is amazing.

John Jamingo:

He's doing that for the write up for me.

John Jamingo:

So thank you, Josh.

John Jamingo:

I'm a facilitator.

Duchess:

That's why you're facilitated.

Duchess:

Yes, you are.

John Jamingo:

Well, I like what I would have done was not nearly as nice as what he did.

John Jamingo:

He offered and I was like, I'm all for it.

John Jamingo:

So I don't know if we're going to be doing it for 20, 25.

John Jamingo:

He might be like this.

John Jamingo:

She's doing, she's taking.

Duchess:

Right.

John Jamingo:

It's way too much work.

John Jamingo:

But he was doing it.

Duchess:

All right, well, that's it for now.

Duchess:

We will be back Monday in studio.

Duchess:

The Duchess will be live.

Duchess:

Yeah, can't wait for that.

John Jamingo:

Can't wait to have this here.

Duchess:

Yay.

John Jamingo:

Well, as I once again invite myself to.

Duchess:

Can't.

Duchess:

Can't hang up on you.

John Jamingo:

No, you cannot.

John Jamingo:

I can throw at you too.

Duchess:

Whoops.

Duchess:

Gotta get that.

Duchess:

I'm trying to get rid of this.

Duchess:

All right, Sparky.

John Jamingo:

Says what?

John Jamingo:

Dutchess live in studio.

Duchess:

Oh, yeah.

Duchess:

Duchess live in studio.

John Jamingo:

I will grace John with my presence.

John Jamingo:

And I'll be sure to say hi to the Jimmy when he shows up.

Duchess:

Yeah.

Duchess:

Because you know he's going to show up.

John Jamingo:

Well, he's right there.

John Jamingo:

Like, he sees the car.

John Jamingo:

He's like, oh, what's going on with the.

John Jamingo:

Is he, like, out the window?

John Jamingo:

Like, someone's at John's.

Duchess:

I see the Duchess is over.

Duchess:

I have to go over and say hello.

John Jamingo:

Let's see.

John Jamingo:

So Mike's.

John Jamingo:

I'm guessing these are Mike Steps.

John Jamingo:

13,004, 73.

John Jamingo:

3.

John Jamingo:

So let's see where I'm at.

Duchess:

Oh, really?

John Jamingo:

Let's see.

John Jamingo:

Good job, Mike.

John Jamingo:

That's awesome.

John Jamingo:

Let's see here.

John Jamingo:

I'm only at 12,238, which is like 5.32 miles, but I also biked five miles on my.

John Jamingo:

On the stationary, so.

John Jamingo:

But they don't count steps, though.

Duchess:

I got it.

John Jamingo:

But good job, Mike.

Duchess:

I am getting.

Duchess:

At the beginning of the year, I am getting a.

Duchess:

What's it called?

Duchess:

Treadmill.

Duchess:

I am getting a treadmill for the house.

Duchess:

Yes.

John Jamingo:

Oh, I'm happy for you.

John Jamingo:

That's awesome.

Duchess:

Yeah, I'll probably fall off and break my neck, but whatever.

John Jamingo:

Gotta go slow.

John Jamingo:

Well, you gotta hang on to that emergency stop so you can clip it.

John Jamingo:

So if you fall, it, like, pops.

Duchess:

Like a walker.

John Jamingo:

Well, what.

John Jamingo:

It.

John Jamingo:

It's like a little.

John Jamingo:

It's got, like, a safety stop on it, and the one end has a clip, like a little grabber.

John Jamingo:

And you.

Duchess:

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Duchess:

Yes.

Duchess:

It pops.

John Jamingo:

It.

John Jamingo:

That thing stops, like, on the dime.

John Jamingo:

Like, boom.

Duchess:

Does it call 91 1?

Duchess:

Give the address.

John Jamingo:

So people, your life alert will have to do that.

Duchess:

Jesus.

Duchess:

All right, everybody.

John Jamingo:

Goodness, you guys are the best.

John Jamingo:

We hope you had a great Christmas and holiday, and I'm looking forward to Monday.

John Jamingo:

No, John's not, but I am now.

Duchess:

We're gonna.

Duchess:

We're gonna have good pizza.

John Jamingo:

Ooh, pizza.

Duchess:

Or whatever you want.

Duchess:

I don't care.

Duchess:

Whatever.

John Jamingo:

No, I like the idea of pizza.

Duchess:

All right, we'll have good pizza, and we'll see you then.

John Jamingo:

Nice.

Duchess:

All right, everybody, have a good weekend.

John Jamingo:

Enjoy your weekend.

John Jamingo:

It was fun.

John Jamingo:

Take care, everyone.

John Jamingo:

Bye.

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