In our latest discourse, we confront the pervasive and insidious issue of pornography addiction, which is often deceptively dismissed as manageable yet profoundly undermines one's spiritual, emotional, and relational integrity. We unequivocally assert that this addiction is not merely a struggle but a form of enslavement that wreaks havoc on personal lives, marriages, and spiritual authority. As we delve into the stark realities of this secret addiction, we explore its far-reaching consequences, underscoring the necessity for brutal honesty and a transformative approach to reclaiming one's identity in Christ. Through the poignant narrative of David, a man ensnared by this vice, we illuminate the path to liberation and the critical importance of accountability, community, and divine intervention. Join us as we endeavor to expose these uncomfortable truths and empower listeners to seek true freedom through the transformative power of faith.

A profound exploration of the hidden struggles faced by many men, this episode delves into the detrimental effects of pornography addiction. With an earnest and unapologetic tone, the host draws attention to the deceptive narratives that individuals often create to rationalize their behavior. He articulates the harsh truth that many believe they have control over their habits, when in reality, these habits ensnare them in a cycle of shame, guilt, and spiritual disconnection. The episode serves not merely as an admonition but rather as a clarion call to confront the ruinous impact of such addictions on personal relationships, spiritual vitality, and overall well-being. Through vivid anecdotes and compelling statistics, the narrative elucidates how this addiction threatens the sanctity of marriage and spiritual authority, underscoring the need for radical honesty and transformative change. In the latter part of the episode, the host provides listeners with practical strategies to overcome the chains of addiction, highlighting that true liberation transcends mere behavioral modification and requires a deep understanding of one’s identity in Christ.

Takeaways:

• The pervasive issue of pornography is often mischaracterized as a manageable habit, when in fact it constitutes a profound addiction that can severely impact one's relationships and spiritual vitality.
• Many individuals are unaware that their habitual engagement with pornography leads to detrimental consequences, including emotional distress, marital discord, and spiritual disconnection.
• The fundamental truth is that individuals struggling with pornography often deceive themselves into believing they maintain control, whereas, in reality, they are ensnared in a cycle of slavery and bondage.
• Awareness of one's identity as a beloved child of God is crucial; this understanding can facilitate a transformative journey towards purity and liberation from the chains of addiction.

You keep telling yourself you got this under control while it's controlling your life.

You think nobody knows, but it's written all over your dead eyes, your weak prayers.

Today we're exposing the secret addiction that is wrecking your marriage, killing your confidence, and destroying your spiritual authority.

Discipleship decoded.

The porn problem you swear you have under control but don't time to get brutally honest.

Let's talk about it.

You just locked into discipleship decoded.

Where we get raw, real and relevant about what it means to follow Christ in a culture that is absolutely losing its mind.

This ain't about playing church.

We're here to make disciples preach the truth and call out everything that opposes the kingdom of God.

So if you're tired of watered down messages or already for some real talk, you're in the right place.

I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.

Now, let's get into it.

My guy, let's be real.

You're sitting there telling yourself, I got this under control.

It's not that bad.

I can stop anytime I want.

It's just stress relief.

But your browser history tells an altogether different story, man.

Your marriage tells a different story, and your prayer life tells a different story.

And this may be hard to hear, but you've been living a double life for so long that you forgot which one is the real you.

Sunday morning, you're leading worship, teaching Sunday school, praying for others.

Sunday night, you're back on the screen, feeding the beast that is eating you alive.

And here is the gut punch truth that's about to shatter every lie that you tell yourself.

You don't have it under control.

It has you under control.

So this ain't about diving deep, but it is about getting free from the secret addiction that is destroying your life one click at a time.

Man, there are so many studies out there, but 91% of men were exposed to pornography before the age of 18.

And 64% of us Christian men view pornography at least once a month.

And 18% of Christian men view pornography multiple times per week.

But with all these studies that we hear, most of us that were in that addiction and those that are still struggling with it think that we have it under control.

What we don't realize is that it is affecting our relationships.

It is not just a harmless outlet.

But if it's so harmless, why do you hide it?

If it's so controlled, then why can't you stop if it's so innocent?

And then why do you feel so guilty when you engage in it?

And so if this stress relief, why does it create more stress?

And if it's not affecting everything and anything in your life, then why is your marriage dying?

See, you've been telling yourself comfortable lies to avoid uncomfortable truth.

You've been minimizing the damage to avoid dealing with the destruction.

And everybody always wants to call it a struggle when it really is slavery, it's weakness when it's really warfare and habits when it's really hell.

But today, we're about to expose the real cost of your so called harmless addiction.

The spiritual cost, the relational cost, the emotional cause and the physical cause.

We're about to show you how pornography is rewiring your brain, rewrecking your relationships and destroying your spiritual authority.

And we're about to give you a bomb kingdom strategy to break free from the chains that you swear don't exist.

Because the truth is you ain't in control.

Your bondage, it's time to get delivered from it.

Now, I know that stung because the truth always does.

But before we dive into God's word about your harmless habit, let me tell you something that's going to change how you see purity.

Don't go nowhere, because we're about to get real biblical in a few moments.

Stay tuned.

Ladies, listen up.

If you've got a man in your life, your husband, your man, your brother, he needs to be locked into discipleship, decoded.

We're always saying we want a man who's healed, who leads, who's solid.

But truth is, most men were never shown how.

This podcast, it's the missing link.

It's real, it's raw, it's calling men higher without beating them down.

So, sis, do what you do.

Send him the link, drop it in his inbox, slide it in the combo.

Because when he grows, the family grows, the future grows, the whole household levels up.

Trust me, this right here, it's different.

And honestly, it'll be.

He'll thank you for it later.

Welcome back to Discipleship Decoded.

And if you just joined us, we're talking about the porn problem.

You swore that you got under control, but you actually don't.

Now you heard me expose the lies that you tell yourself.

But now it's time to hear what God says.

Because when the word speaks about purity, everything else is just noise.

So I want you to listen to what Jesus said over in the book of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 28.

He says, But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Already committed adultery, not might commit, not could lead to already Committed.

So every time you click, you're committing adultery in your heart.

And every time you watch, you're betraying your wife, your future wife and your savior.

Job, chapter 31, verse 1 cuts deeper.

It says, I have made a covenant with my eyes.

How then could I look at a young woman with desire?

A covenant with his eyes?

See, our boy Job understood that his eyes were the gateway to his heart.

That what he looked at would determine what he lusted after.

But you been treating your eyes like they don't even matter.

Like your screen time is innocent and you're viewing habits like they have no consequences.

First Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 19, 20 brings the fire.

Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?

Who is in you, whom you have from God.

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.

So glorify God with your body.

Your body is a temple.

Not a playground, not a dumping ground, but an actual temple.

And you've been bringing pornographic images into the holies of holies, defiling the temple, grieving the spirit and dishonoring the king.

Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 3 seals the deal.

It says, but sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be named among you, as is proper for the saints, my man.

This shouldn't even be named.

Not just don't do it, but don't even talk about it.

Don't even think about it, don't even entertain it.

But you got a bookmark on your browser, saved on your phone, stored in your mind and scheduled into your routine.

Second Peter, chapter two, verse 19.

Destroys every excuse.

It says they promised them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption, since people are enslaved to whatever defeats them.

Enslave, my man, to whatever defeats you.

See, you think pornography gives you freedom, but it is making you a slave.

You think it gives you control, but it's actually controlling you, man.

I remember way, way back in my youth when I first saw what they used to call back in the day, a dirty magazine.

And you know, growing up in the hood where I grew up from, it was almost like one of those things where it was quote, unquote, a rite of passage.

Had no idea that the enemy was putting seeds in me that I would struggle for years and years to come.

I mean, the masturbation, I mean, the pornography led to masturbation and fantasizing and all these kind of different things, man.

And I had no idea that the enemy had his clutches in me.

And I prayed and I prayed for Deliverance.

But all the while, while I was praying for deliverance and while I said that I repented, I truly didn't repent because I still had that desire, I still had that yearning to go after those sexually immoral things.

And so you think it gives you power, but it's making you powerless.

And I had to come to realize that the Bible don't whisper, so why should you?

And see, God's standards ain't try to look less, but God's standard says don't look at all.

And just like Job, I had to make a covenant with my eyes.

And brother, if you're struggling with this, you're going to have to make a covenant with your eyes as well.

Because you've been living beneath the standard, beneath your calling.

And you've been living behind your identity.

And you've been treating holiness like it is a suggestion instead of a command, bro.

You've been treating purity like it's an optional, like it's only for certain select few of Christians instead of seeing it as an obligation to every Christian.

So man, I knew this brother named David.

David was a leader in his church.

This brother was like a worship pastor.

He was married for 12 years with three beautiful kids and he was respected in the community.

But David had this secret.

I mean for 15 years since he was a teenager, he had been addicted to pornography.

It started innocent enough curiosity as a kid, then it became a habit in high school, then it became a full blown out addiction in college.

And then it became a lifestyle in the marriage.

And I know that society will say hey man, to spice up your, your marital life or your, your sex life with your spouse, that you know, you need to implement other things or you need to watch porn together.

And you know, know why some circles agree with that, some don't.

But I, I think it's just one of those things that are really opening yourself up to a spiritual stronghold.

And see, David told himself all the lies.

It's not hurting anyone.

My wife doesn't know the ultimate lie that I can stop at any time.

He says that it just released stress and it's better than cheating.

But the addiction was destroying everything that he claimed to love, bro.

His marriage was dying.

His wife felt rejected, unwanted, inadequate, because she felt like she had to measure up to the porn stars that he was looking at.

And she couldn't understand why her husband wasn't interested in intimacy with her.

His kids were suffering because daddy was always distracted, distant, always disconnected.

And even though he was in ministry, it was powerless because he had no authority to speak against sin when he was enslaved to sin, bro.

His prayers were weak because he couldn't look God in the face with a clear conscience.

But David kept telling himself, I got this under control.

Until one day, his eight year son walked in on a watching pornography.

The shame in his son's eyes and the confusion on his face.

The innocent that was stolen in that moment.

And that day, David realized the truth.

He didn't have it under control.

It had him under control.

He wasn't viewing pornography only, but pornography was viewing him.

It was studying him.

It was learning his weaknesses and exploiting his vulnerabilities.

See, he wasn't just watching.

He was being watched by demonic forces that were documenting his every move, planning for his destruction.

And that day, David stopped making excuses and started seeking deliverance.

He confessed to his wife everything.

The years of deception, the double life, the secret addiction.

I mean, he confessed to his pastor, his accountability partners, his men's group.

He brought his secret into the light.

Where secrets go to die.

What he did was install accountability software.

He got rid of his smartphone, changed his Internet settings, and removed every trigger from his environment.

But most importantly, he stopped trying to manage his behavior and started changing his identity.

He stopped asking, how do I stop watching porn?

And started asking, who am I in Christ?

He stopped focusing on what he couldn't do and started focusing on what he was called to be.

And you know what happened when David discovered his true identity as a son of God, Holy and beloved, pure and powerful.

The desire for pornography didn't just get managed, but it got destroyed.

Because the sons of the King don't consume trash.

Holy men don't defile temples and beloved children don't seek counterfeit love.

And so David learned that identity determines behavior.

And when you know who you are, you'll know what to watch.

When you know whose you are, you'll know where to look.

And when you know your value, you won't seek validation from pixels on a screen.

So David's story shattered you.

I know it did.

Because you see yourself in the struggle.

You feel the shame and you know the cycle.

But here's the thing.

David's breakthrough came when he stopped lying to himself and.

And started facing the truth.

And that's what we're about to do right now.

We're about to strip away every excuse, every justification and every lie that you tell yourself.

Stay with me for the next section.

Man, let me tell you something.

I used to think I had to carry it all by myself.

Broken, angry, addicted to stuff nobody knew about too ashamed to say a word.

Smiling on the outside, but dying on the inside.

But then I locked in with discipleship, decoding, and I found the huddle.

A real space with real brothers.

No masks, no judgment.

Men who have been through it.

Men who hold you accountable.

Men who help you heal.

And for the first time, I wasn't alone.

So if you're tired of fighting battles in silence, if you're done pretending and you're ready to grow, connect with us.

Step into the huddle.

Let's build the man God called you to be.

Don't sit this out.

Lock in, grow up.

Move forward.

This is the huddle, and you belong here.

All right.

Discipleship.

The coolest family.

We back, and we're about to go deep.

And so, look, you heard all of the statistics, and you heard what the word of God says.

You heard my boy David's story.

But it's time for the mirror.

It's time to face the brutal truth about your harmless habit.

And I'm warning you, this is about to get personal.

This is about to get uncomfortable.

This is about to expose every lie that you tell yourself.

But if you didn't want freedom, you shouldn't have came here, because you gotta face the truth.

So buckle up, because here we go.

You already know what it is, bro.

You've been lying to yourself about your harmless habit, and you've been minimizing the damage while maximizing the excuses.

So let me ask you some brutal questions, and I want you to be devastatingly honest.

How many times have you told yourself that this is the last time?

I mean, how many times have you promised God you would stop playing with yourself, masturbating, looking at porn, looking at fetish videos, only to go back the next day?

I mean, how many times have you deleted your browser history thinking that it would delete your problem?

Like, when are you going to get tired of feeling disgusted with yourself immediately after you went back anyway?

And if you got it under control, why can't you go 30 days without it if it's not hurting anyone?

Why do you hide it from everyone if it's just stress relief, bro, why does it create more stress, more guilt, and more shame?

I'm going to tell you straight up that that is a lie from the pit of hell.

And if it's better than cheating, why does your wife feel cheated on?

And here's what's really happening.

You're rewiring your brain.

See, every time you watch, you're creating neural pathways that make it easier for you to watch again.

You're training your brain to seek instant gratification, artificial stimulation and counterfeit intimacy.

And, bruh, you are destroying your marriage.

Your wife ain't stupid.

She can feel the distance.

She can feel the disconnection and the rejection.

And she knows that something is wrong, even if she can't quite put her finger on it.

She feels like she's competing with something but doesn't know what.

And you're killing your confidence every time you give in.

You're telling yourself, I'm weak, I'm powerless, I'm a failure.

And you're reinforcing a victim mentality instead of a victor identity.

You're grieving the Holy Spirit.

See, every click on a porn site is a slap in the face to the one who died for your purity.

Every view is a betrayal of the one who lives inside of you.

Every session is a rejection of the one who calls you to be holy.

Bro, you are opening demonic doors.

Pornography just ain't entertainment.

It's spiritual warfare.

And every image you view is a legal right that you give the enemy to torment your mind.

Every video you watch is an invitation for demonic spirits to influence your thought.

You are destroying your spiritual authority.

How can you pray for other people's deliverance when you're stuck in bondage?

How can you speak against sin when you're enslaved to sin?

And how can you lead others to freedom when you're in chains?

But here's the truth that you refuse to face.

You don't have it under control.

You're addicted.

You're enslaved.

You are bound and you're captive.

And the first step to getting free is admitting that you're not free.

And for the love of God, stop calling it a struggle and call it what it is, slavery.

Stop calling it weakness and call it what it is, warfare.

And stop calling it a habit and call it what it is, hell.

Because until you get honest about the problem, you'll never get serious about the solution.

And brother, until you admit that you've been addicted to, you'll never seek deliverance.

And until you confess, you're in bondage.

You'll never cry out for freedom.

See, the enemy wants to keep you minimizing, keep you rationalizing and keep you compromising.

Because as long as you think that you got it under control, you'll never seek the help you need.

As long as you believe that it is not bad or that you can, you'll never get radically delivered with that mentality.

And as long as you think that it's just a struggle, you'll never wage spiritual warfare.

And the truth is this ain't about behavior modification, but it's about spiritual liberation.

This ain't just about stopping an activity, but it is about starting a revolution in your soul.

You need more than accountability software.

You need spiritual authority.

You need more than Internet filters.

You need heart transformation.

You need.

You need more than behavior management.

You need identity renovation.

Because pornography ain't just a sin problem, it's a son problem.

You don't know who you are.

You don't know whose you are and why you matter and what you're worth.

Because you've been seeking validation from pixels instead of affirmation from the Father.

Intimacy rather from screens instead of identity from the Savior.

Satisfaction from videos instead of significant from the King.

And when you discover your true identity as a son of the most high, holy, beloved, pure and powerful, the desire for pornography won't just be managed, but it'll be destroyed.

Because sons of the king don't consume trash, holy men don't defile temples, and beloved children don't seek counterfeit love.

Are you a warrior or are you a wimp?

Because pure warriors don't entertain perversion.

And powerful men don't submit to pixels on a screen.

So here's what you got to understand.

Freedom ain't about fighting temptation.

Freedom is about fixing your foundation.

You can't behavior modify your way out of addiction crisis.

You can't willpower your way out of spiritual warfare, and you can't discipline your way out of demonic bondage.

The solution ain't more accountability, more restrictions, or more rules.

The solution is new identity, new foundation, new understanding of who you are.

And here's the kingdom strategy to break free forever.

Bro.

I need you to stop calling it a struggle and call it slavery.

Stop calling it a weakness and call it for what it is.

Warfare.

Your secret has power because it's secret.

Bring it into the light where secrets go to die, man.

Tell your wife, tell your pastor, tell your accountability partner, and tell someone that you trust.

And this is drastic, man.

You may have to get rid of your smartphone.

You gotta install accountability software on your computer.

Change your Internet settings, remove every trigger from your environment.

If your right eye causes you to send, pluck it out.

And if your right hand causes you to send, cut it off.

Stop believing that you're weak and start declaring, I'm strong in the Lord.

Stop believing I'm addicted and start declaring, I'm free in Christ, bro.

Stop believing that I can't help it and start declaring I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Man, we gotta fill our minds with scripture instead of smut, worship instead of wickedness, prayer instead of pornography.

And when you feed, or whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve, it'll die.

I heard this brother say the other day that lessons that we refuse to learn life has a way of teaching us.

Stop seeing yourself as an addict trying to get clean and start seeing yourself as a son who is already pure.

Stop identifying with your past, man, and start identifying with the bright future that you have in Christ and that freedom that you have in Christ.

You got to put on the whole arm of God.

You got to take up the sword of the spirit.

You got to fight your own freedom.

You got to battle for your own purity.

And you got to find your why.

Why do you want to be free?

For your wife, for your kids, for your ministry, for your Savior.

So, like, when the temptation comes, remember why.

Let it be stronger than your want.

And here's my final word.

Listen to me.

You don't have to have it under control.

You just need to ask and make up your mind that God is your deliverer and he knows everything that you're going through.

See, the same Jesus who sent the demoniac free can set you free.

The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of you.

The same spirit that conquered sin and death can conquer your addiction.

You're not a case that is too hard for God.

But you got to stop lying to yourself about having it under control.

You got to get honest about your bondage so you can get serious about your freedom.

Jesus didn't die so that you could manage your sin.

He died so that you can be delivered from sin.

And he didn't rise so that you could cope with addiction.

He rose so that you could conquer addiction.

He didn't send the spirit so you could have better self control.

He sent the spirit so that you can have supernatural power.

I'm telling you, God ain't about behavior modification.

He's about identity and transformation.

So it ain't about trying harder.

It's about becoming someone different.

And when you discover bro, when you discover your true identity as a son of God, then that desire for pornography won't just be managed, but it'll be destroyed.

Because like I said before, the sons of the King don't consume trash.

Pure warriors don't entertain perversion.

And powerful men don't submit to pixels.

Right now, this moment, family Jesus is offering you total freedom.

Not partial victory, not temporary relief, not better management, but total freedom.

But you Got to stop lying to yourself and start crying out to him.

Stop saying, I got this under control, and start saying, jesus, take control.

Stop managing the addiction and start destroying the addiction.

Stop coping with bondage and start breaking the bondage, because you don't have it under control, but he can give you supernatural control.

You ain't strong enough to break these chains, but he is strong enough to shatter these chains.

And you can't deliver yourself from this addiction, but he can deliver you into total freedom.

The porn problem you swear that you have under control but don't can be destroyed today.

And if you're willing to get honest about the problem and get serious about the solution and desperate for deliverance, because this is Discipleship Decoded, and I'm your host, Malden Mitchell.

And remember, you are not what you have done.

You are who God says you are.

Walk in that truth.

Live in that power and love from that place.

And until next time, stay strong.

Stay pure, Stay free.

Thank you for locking in with me today on Discipleship Decoded.

I don't take it lightly that you tapped in, and I pray that something you heard sparked something real in you.

If it did, do me a favor.

Subscribe to the podcast so you'll never miss an episode.

And don't keep it to yourself.

Share this with somebody who needs it.

We're building men.

We're building disciples.

We're building legacy.

One conversation at a time.

I'll catch you on the next one.

This is Discipleship to Cody.

Sa.