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From Grief to Revolution: One Woman's Journey to Embracing Her Divinity
Episode 512th March 2024 • LaQuita’s Toolbox • LaQuita Monley
00:00:00 01:03:08

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Discover the unexpected source of inner strength and spiritual growth in this powerful conversation. Get ready for a deep dive into self-love, resilience, and empowerment that goes beyond the surface. It's not just theory; it's lived experiences and practical tools shared by a woman who's been through it all. Dive into the conversation now and get ready to unlock your limitless potential. Stay tuned for the unexpected revelations that will transform your personal and professional growth.

My special guest is Aya Eneli, Esq.

Aya Eneli, Esq. is a renowned life coach with over 25 years of experience in personal development and coaching. Her expertise lies in guiding individuals on their journey towards inner strength and spiritual growth. Aya's approach is deeply rooted in her own experiences, making her a relatable and trusted source for those seeking empowerment and resilience. With a passion for helping others, she brings a unique blend of wisdom, compassion, and practical advice to the table. Aya's insights on meditation and scripture for inner strength are sure to resonate with individuals looking to enhance their spiritual well-being and tap into their inner power.

"If you really love yourself, there's no need to base your self worth on putting anybody else down." - Aya Eneli, Esq.

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Unlock your inner potential with personal development strategies for success.
  • Embrace your natural sensuality and sexuality for a more fulfilling life.
  • Discover the power of meditation and scripture for inner strength.
  • Build self-worth and confidence to empower yourself in every aspect of life.
  • Advocate for social justice and unity to make a positive impact on the world.

Unleash Your Inner Potential

The essence of having inner potential lies in the ability to navigate life's rendezvous with courage, confidence, and purpose. Harnessing one's unique gifts and talents opens pathways to fresh opportunities and life-changing experiences. Thus, igniting a powerful inner potential can lead to extraordinary transformations and create ripples of positive change throughout our personal and professional lives.

Embrace Sensuality and Sexuality

Sensuality and sexuality, widely regarded as tabs, are fundamentally human aspects that we need to acknowledge and appreciate. Embracing these facets not only improves our personal relationships and self-esteem but also establishes a deep connection with ourselves. Open conversations about sexuality and sensuality can destigmatize the subject and promote a healthier and more respectful understanding of intimacy.

Find Inner Strength through Meditation

Meditation is a powerful tool that fosters inner strength and resilience. It is not merely about gaining peace of mind, it's about establishing a connection with our inner self, and the profound wisdom that can guide us through life's ups and downs. Thus, through consistent practice, meditation can increase self-awareness, amplify inner strength, and boost overall mental well-being.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

  • Purchase the book Your Self Love Revolution on Amazon to start your self-love journey.
  • https://a.co/d/598XMNf
  • Get the accompanying journal to dig deeper into the self-love journey and enhance your personal growth.
  • https://a.co/d/1v23lFU
  • Read the book and engage in the daily meditations, affirmations, and journal prompts to strengthen your self-esteem and self-awareness.
  • Leave a review on Amazon after reading the book to share your thoughts and help others discover its impact.
  • Take action in your community and beyond to stand up for justice and equality, and to make a positive impact in the world.

Other episodes you'll enjoy:

1.Surrendering to God's Will: Empowering Entrepreneurs to Make a Difference

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/67da3da6-40bb-4b7d-8a72-8ac64f08ad12

2. The Power of Publicity: How to Leverage the Media to Increase Your Credibility :

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/95ff736b-2b13-40d8-ba74-8da656fba83e

3.Mastering Streaming TV for Small Business Entrepreneurs with Zondra Evans

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/b945aec4-034a-4f8d-ade3-524a07233794


Connect with me here:

  • https://www.linkedin.com/company/laquita-s-toolbox/
  • https://www.facebook.com/groups/1559496044240163
  • https://www.youtube.com/LMonleyToolbox
  • https://www.laquitamonley.com/laquitastoolbox
  • https:www.twitter.com/laquitamonley1


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Transcripts

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Nges on identity. It is the compass of our

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that aligns with the Holy Spirit to

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fulfill the Father's will. Wrapped up in

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identity is who we are, the purpose of our

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being, and every God breathed promise that

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manifests as our success. Hello, I'm

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Laquida Monloy and I'm the author of

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Redefining Success eight tools that I use

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to develop a growth mindset in this

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amazing book. Not would I share with you

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eight tools that I use for growth mindset,

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but I'll also share the applicable

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principles based on God's word that you

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can easily implement in your life journey.

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So no matter where you are and no matter

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where you see yourself in the future, this

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book will be a tool that you need for your

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toolbox. Don't wait. Get it today and it

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can be found on Amazon by simply searching

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redefining success eight tools that I use

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for a growth mindset take care. Welcome

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back to another amazing episode of

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Laquita's toolbox. I am your host, Laquita

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Monley, and I am absolutely excited to be

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able to be with you guys on today. Listen,

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guys, if you are new to the toolbox

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community, listen, let me tell you, get

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something to write with and something to

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write on because we have an absolutely

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fabulous guest in studio with us today.

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None other than Miss Aya Anneli. And if

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you're not familiar with Aya, I'm going to

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read her bio here in just a moment. But

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before I do that, let me take a moment to

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thank our sponsors at Covenant Press.

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Covenant Press is a faith based christian

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apparel and accessory shop where we as

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believers are able to shop online for

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clothing and accessories that allow us to

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wear the message of the love of Jesus

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Christ. Go out to www. Covenant.

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[unk]press com. Again, that's WW Covenant

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Press. Shop until you drop, ladies and

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gentlemen. But do not click off of those

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pop ups too quickly because they contain

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valuable discount codes that when applied

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at checkout, you can receive savings on

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your purchases through Covenant press.

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Again, that's WW Covenant Press. Like I

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said, guys, if you're new to the Laquitist

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toolbox channel, get something to write

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with, something to write on. Hit those

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notification bells so that you can be

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notified when we release new episodes

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every Tuesday on your favorite audio

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podcast platform, as well as every

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Thursday evening. We release them live on

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your various social media platforms,

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LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, and

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now Instagram. So you guys don't want to

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miss any opportunity for any new episodes

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that are being released. So hit those like

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share and subscribe buttons so you can

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receive notifications when new episodes

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are releasing. And before I bring up Miss

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Aya, let me just give y'all a little bit

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about who she is and some of the things

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that she does. But in this conversation

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today, we're going to have a deeper dive

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into who she is and her passions, as well

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as her new book. We're making sure we're

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going to talk about her new book. Ms. Aya

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Annelli is an attorney, writer, community

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activist, and healer. At the tender age of

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eight, she delivered a keynote speech for

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the Federal Republic of Nigeria's national

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celebration of the international Year of

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the Child. She earned four degrees in

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seven years from the Ohio State

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University, including a bachelor's of arts

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degree in political science and English, a

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master's degree in black studies, and a

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jurist doctorate. She is featured in an

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encyclopedia of Path breaking women at the

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Ohio State University. She is the CEO of

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AYA and Nelly International. She is a

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certified life coach and international

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speaker, serving clients in 13, you heard

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it, 13 countries. Aya was a newspaper

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columnist for over a decade and has been

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highlighted in various media outlets

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including MSNBC, ABC, PBS, Entrepreneur

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magazine, Black Enterprise, and the

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Detroit Free Press. She is the visionary

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behind the Emma Johnson oh Lord, I should

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have asked her how to say this. The Emma

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Johnson Warrior award. I skipped the name,

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y'all, but I'm going to get her to correct

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it here in just a minute. I don't want to

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butcher it. Which is an initiative

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designed to promote literacy, agriculture

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and cultural preservation in the Apuma

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kingdom in Nigeria, where she established

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the only functioning public library.

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Additionally, she is the driving force

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behind intelligent and talented girls.

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That's it, girls. A program committed to

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empowering and educating girls and young

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women with leadership and success

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strategies in the US and beyond. Ms.

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Annelli is the author of notable works

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including live your abundant life, reclaim

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your life, guidance for wives at the

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crosswords, and live your abundant life

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too. And your self love revolution, a 30

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day woman's guide to embracing divinity

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and creating the life of your dreams. Like

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wow, she is an amazing woman of God and I

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am absolutely excited to have her on

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Laquita's toolbox. I know she's going to

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bless our hearts today. Like I said, get

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something to write with and write on

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because you don't want to miss any of the

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gems that she's going to gift us with on

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today. Ms. Aya, how are you? How are you?

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Welcome to the toolbox, Ms. Lakita. I am

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so honored to be part of your show this

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podcast. You absolutely have worked

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everything that you shared in your book,

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redefining success. And if anyone hasn't

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gotten it, go get your copy now, because

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there are people who talk the talk, and

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then there are people who actually walk

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the walk, and you have walked everything

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that you are teaching in that book. I need

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to get my copy autographed, actually. So

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next time, hopefully I can run into you or

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we can plan to meet up. But it's such an

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honor to be on your show today. Thank you

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so much. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. I

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assure you the honor is mine. I remember

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my first time hearing you speak, and it

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was at an event hearing colleen. I was

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invited last minute. Let me be honest, it

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probably wasn't a last minute invite. It

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was probably something I paid attention to

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last minute, but I'm glad that I did. And

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when I walked into the room, I think I may

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have been the only person on my row that

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didn't know who you were. And the

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individuals who were with me at that time

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was like, just get something to write with

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and watch out like you want to hear her?

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And I was like, oh, my God, I need to know

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her. I need to know her better. Just the

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things that you shared in that black

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business week, that opening day of the

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first Texas black business week here in

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Colleen, the inaugural celebration, it was

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so powerful. I don't know how anybody,

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male or female, could have left out of

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that room not inspired to become the very

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best versions of themselves. So that's

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really what you do. So I'm going to stop

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talking and I'm going to let you let the

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people like, I know I read your resume,

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and that's just a portion of your resume,

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but there's nothing better than hearing

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the story from the person themselves. So

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if you don't mind, share a little bit of

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your story, and we're going to make sure

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we dive into your new book as well. Wow. I

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can honestly say that when you were

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reading that resume, I was dumbfounded. If

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I had a tagline, well, a couple of

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taglines, one would be live purposefully.

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The second one would be just an ordinary

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person doing extraordinary things. When I

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look at my life, I was fortunate to have

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been born to parents who were very driven

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and focused and loved God and had a sense

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of community, understood that whatever

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gifts we have are not for us, for

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ourselves, but to share, to leave the

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world better than how we found it. And

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that's what has shaped everything about

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me. And so at no point in time with any of

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the quote unquote, achievements or

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accolades. Was I sitting down and like,

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okay, I got to check this box, and. Then I

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got to check this box. It was pretty much

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wake up every morning and try to be the

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best version of yourself that you can be

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and let everything else fall into place.

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However, I don't chase fame. I don't chase

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notoriety or anything. I just show up and

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I work to the best of my ability without

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comparing myself to anyone. Because

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comparison will do one of two things. It

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will either cause you to become despondent

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because you're looking at other people and

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you're feeling less than, and you just

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like, I can't do it. I give up. And you

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find all of these reasons why your dreams

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are not for you, or it could cause you to

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become very prideful. And we know what the

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Bible says about pride, where now you

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think you're so much better than everybody

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else, and you have a right to look down on

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people or to treat people less than human.

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And so for me, it has always been, just

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stay in your lane, so to speak. We are all

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created in God's divine image. We all have

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gifts, we all have abilities. One person

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does not have to be exactly like the other

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person. And so how do I show up as the

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best version of myself today, knowing that

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if you're not growing, you're dying, so

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every day you should be trying to get

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better? So my best version today,

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hopefully, is a lot better than my best

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version a while ago. As a matter of fact,

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my first book was published in 2004. So

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it's been 20 years exactly this year. And

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I was talking with my team, and they were

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like, you need to do a 20th year

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anniversary book edition. And I went back

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and I read that first book, and I was

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like, oh, my God, I am so embarrassed that

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this is what I put out into the world. But

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you know what? I believed it. At that

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point. From my vantage point, this was it.

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And so I'm glad to see the growth, I'm

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glad that the foundation remains the same,

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but that there's been a maturity, there's

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been more wisdom, and hopefully I will get

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around to getting that 20th edition

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anniversary edition out. But for anyone

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watching this, it is so easy to feel like,

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oh, well, if I just had this or if I just

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had that, we're always waiting to live.

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And what I would say is, really all we

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have is right this moment. Show up as the

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best you do, the best you can. It might

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not be, quote, the world may not see it,

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may not applaud it, but you need to do

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what you were put here to do. And I'll end

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this part with just this. Know, I live in

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central Texas, as you know, and today it's

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been a very dreary day, right? It's been

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cloudy, overcast. All of. We. I haven't

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personally been able to see the sun, but

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guess what? The sun is still up there.

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It's doing its thing. That's why we have

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some warmth. And the sun shows up

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regardless of whether they're going to be

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clouds covering it or not, regardless of

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whether we even notice that it's there or

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not. And that's how I want to be. I want

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to be as consistent as the sun. Like, you

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can count on me to rise every morning.

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God, give me breath. I'm going to rise and

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I'm going to do what I've been called to

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do. That's real good. That's real good. Be

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consistent as the sun rise every morning,

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doing the thing that you've been purposed

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in this earth to do, doing the very thing

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that God created you to do. And that's

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powerful right there. Earlier today, I was

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in a class, and I'm in a course that's

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funded by Wells Fargo for women

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entrepreneurs, and had a really great day

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today in class. And one of the things that

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we were asked is, why do we do what we

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know? Look in for that deeper why? And

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what I've discovered, even with doing,

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I've done similar exercises and doing this

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exercise, how it challenged a lot of women

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because they did not fully grasp what you

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just said. They didn't know what they were

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called to do. They didn't understand their

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purpose and how that related to. So they

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had to really search deep for their core

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values to come up with that deeper sense

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of, why do I do what I do? Like your

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surface level wise, they're not wrong, but

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they're not going to sustain you. Exactly.

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They're not going to sustain you. But when

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you said what you strive to be is to be

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consistent as the sun, you can say that. I

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believe that you can say that and mean it

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and stand on it, because you fully

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understand who you are and what you've

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been called to do. So you can consistently

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do that and rise like the sun every

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morning. That's a powerful statement. And

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that just speaks to you, understanding who

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you are and what you've been created to

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do. I'll try to make a quick segue from

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here into your book, your self love

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revolution. Because even in saying that,

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that just brought me back to a couple of

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things from the book that really stood

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out. And we're not going to talk about

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everything. You all, so you all but being

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nosy, thinking you're going to get all the

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good stuff, that is not what's about to

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happen in this conversation. We couldn't

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even if we tried. Number one, we couldn't

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if we tried. We need three or four

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episodes. But you got to go buy the book.

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That would be helpful. Yes, you have to go

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buy the book because that's an investment,

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right? That's an investment in your

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personal development. That is an

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investment for me. I believe that personal

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development is a direct tie into

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sustainable professional development. Like

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many of us have been in the workplace.

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Fortunate or unfortunate, it depends on

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your viewpoint with people who are great

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at what they do, but they lacked any human

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skills whatsoever. Horrible, horrible.

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They just create a toxic work environment

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for everybody. Everybody's full of joy

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until that person enters the space and

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you're like, oh, my God. Yes, we know we

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could count on you to meet the goals. We

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know we could count on you for crashing,

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for crushing, excuse me, every KPI, but

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you are not a good human. And personal

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development is important. And I think that

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a lot of people who suffer in that area or

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who are unwilling to do that type of work

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for personal development is because they

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lack self love. There's something about

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themselves that they don't want to dig

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into because it's painful. It means I have

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to change all of these things that every

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person who does personal development work,

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we have to realize that about ourselves.

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And so for those that are listening, if

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you can take us on a little bit or help us

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understand, let me say that we're not

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going to take a journey through the book.

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We're going to talk about the book, but

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help us to understand what the passion was

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behind creating this great work. I'm so

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glad you asked because when I was talking

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earlier about being as consistent as the

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sun, I know that there are women, men

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also, because this book was written for

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women, but there are men right now in my

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30 day program who are gleaning the

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information because if you're human, we're

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all having a human experience. Okay?

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Right. So when I was saying, be as

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consistent as the sun, I could just feel

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that there were some of your viewers who

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are like, I guess your life is just

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perfect because you've never dealt with

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depression, you've never dealt with those

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blows that just kind of knock the wind out

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of you. And so I think that you all would

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be not necessarily glad, but you would be

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relieved to know that this book was

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birthed out of grief. I've been a life

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coach since 1996. I've been studying and

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improving myself and helping to work on

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other people, help other people, help

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guide other people to do their work. I

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can't work on anybody. They got to do

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their work. So there's a lot that I know,

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but there's often a gap between what we

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know and what we do, and then there's a

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gap between what we do and what we do

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consistently. I mean, like, everybody

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knows what it takes to lose weight, okay?

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But weight loss continues to be the number

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one goal of people across this country and

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increasingly across the world, because we

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don't necessarily do what we know. So,

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anyway, with this book, my younger brother

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passed away in December. He transitioned

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in December of 2021. Like I said, he was

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my younger brother. He was healthy. An

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actor, a producer. He has some movies on

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Netflix. He'd got a marriage just three

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years before, like, everything was looking

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up. Very healthy. And when he was

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diagnosed with cancer, I just knew he was

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going to beat it, because he was so

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healthy, and he had such a great outlook

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on life, and he was so loving and giving,

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and I was like, it's not his time. He's

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too young. Actually, I never even

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entertained the fact that he could

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possibly die from cancer. Never crossed my

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mind. I just knew he was going to beat it.

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He didn't beat it. On this side of life. I

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know he's a powerful ancestor where he is.

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And when he passed on, when he

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transitioned, I lost my bearing. If you've

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ever been disoriented, like, where am I?

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What's going on? Maybe you woke up in a

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start, and you're like, I lost my bearing,

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laquita. I got up every morning because I

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had kids and I had responsibilities, but

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once I got done with whatever I had to do,

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I was deflated again. I just could not get

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myself to function. I couldn't get myself

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to dream. I mean, I was still doing things

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because I never totally stand still, but

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not with heart. It was very robotic, like,

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okay, we got to do this, and now we got to

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do this. Yeah. And last year, about this

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time, actually, my birthday is in January.

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I told my family, I don't want anything. I

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just need to go away for a few days just

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by myself. I need no cake. I don't need

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nothing. Don't call me. I'll call you. And

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I went away and just spent three days by

Speaker:

myself, just in deep meditation and

Speaker:

introspection and journaling. And crying

Speaker:

and just the things that sometimes

Speaker:

mothers, we don't want to do in front of

Speaker:

our children, right? And I came home, and

Speaker:

a picture that we had created as part of

Speaker:

our grieving process for my brother, that

Speaker:

was huge picture, and it's heavy. That was

Speaker:

hanging on the wall and had been hanging

Speaker:

on the wall since December of 2021. Now,

Speaker:

in January of 2023, I came home and it was

Speaker:

on the ground. And I was like, what

Speaker:

happened? And my son said, there was just

Speaker:

a big thought. It just fell. And in that

Speaker:

moment, even though I had not been at home

Speaker:

when it fell, I felt a thought in my

Speaker:

spirit, and I felt like my brother took me

Speaker:

by the shoulders and was just like, what

Speaker:

is your problem? Like, get up and live.

Speaker:

You saw me fight to live. So how is it

Speaker:

that you have breath and you are here not

Speaker:

living? Like, get up and live. He was

Speaker:

shaking me. And at that point, I was like,

Speaker:

okay, I will. And then I was like, okay,

Speaker:

where do I start? Like, I've been lost for

Speaker:

so long. Where do I start? And it's like,

Speaker:

get back to love. Get back to loving

Speaker:

yourself. Get back to understanding your

Speaker:

value. Get back understanding your

Speaker:

purpose. Get back love. And I was like,

Speaker:

okay, I can take instructions. I'll start

Speaker:

a self love journey. That's what I said.

Speaker:

And I'm walking with a girlfriend. And I

Speaker:

said, okay, I'm going to do a 30 day

Speaker:

thing. I want to be really accountable. I

Speaker:

want to be consistent. I don't want to

Speaker:

fall back into my really, I was depressed.

Speaker:

I don't want to fall back into depression

Speaker:

and that mechanical thing. And so I

Speaker:

started, and then I told her, I said, you

Speaker:

know what? I think I need to do this. Not

Speaker:

on YouTube, on Facebook. Why? Because it

Speaker:

will force me to stay accountable. Because

Speaker:

there are other people now who are like,

Speaker:

oh, she said she was going to be on here

:

00 a.m. Every morning. So every

:

morning in March of last year, for 30

:

days, I was on working out publicly what I

:

was working on internally. That's good.

:

And after that, I was like, okay, we did

:

the 30 days, and of course it revealed

:

other things that I knew to do that I had

:

done in the past and had neglected to do.

:

And now I'm really in a rhythm. And it's

:

like, okay, now you need to share this

:

with the world. And I was working on a

:

totally different book. And I'm like, hey,

:

I got a schedule. I got a deadline. I'm

:

working on this. And it's like, no, put

:

that to the side and publish this first.

:

Right. And so that's where this book came

:

from. So when I talk about your self love

:

revolution, what do we think? When we

:

think revolution, it's a total change of

:

order. It's a complete radical shift.

:

Shift. And so many of us are stuck where

:

we are right now, thinking that this is

:

all life has to offer. Making do,

:

settling, being unhappy, using drugs,

:

alcohol, Netflix, food, work to numb our

:

feelings. Come on. Some of us are really

:

these zombies, these mechanical things.

:

And the jolt I had was. There's got to be

:

a revolution, Aya. And guess what, Aya.

:

This time you're going to get on this

:

journey and you're going to stay on it.

:

And because there's a revolution, not

:

because you made a little change, you've

:

completely destroyed the old order. Yes. I

:

was just going to say that. You can't go

:

back to it. That was a shift of power.

:

Yes. And you can't go back to what was.

:

Yes. So in the future, I may write about

:

other things, but I'm never going to write

:

again about. I was so depressed, I

:

couldn't function. Because a revolution

:

has occurred. Come on. And I am so deeply

:

connected right now. The subtitle of the

:

book is a guide to embracing divinity. I

:

am so deeply connected to my creator. Come

:

on, now. That's good. That I'm unshakable

:

at this point. That's real good. I almost

:

don't want to say it because then you kind

:

of get a test. But you know what? There's

:

a part of me that's like, bring it on.

:

Yes. I'm so ready. And this is what I want

:

for my sisters. This is what I want for

:

other women. This is what I want for us as

:

parents so that we can heal, so that we

:

can raise healthier children. Come on.

:

That's real good. Because our community is

:

hurting, and a lot of it has to do with

:

this lack of self love. And if we talk

:

about the black community in particular,

:

there's so much that. Yes, white supremacy

:

is doing to us, but there's so much we are

:

now doing to ourselves as a result of the

:

trauma we experience. For me, it is time

:

for us to heal. We could talk about that

:

part. It is time for us to. Right. Like,

:

I'm like, oh, wait a minute. That's got to

:

be a part, too, because I'm from the deep

:

south originally. Yes. I live in central

:

Texas, which is still in the south, but

:

I'm from Mississippi, born and raised and

:

without a shadow of a doubt in my mind. I

:

don't care where I've lived and traveled

:

to across the world, praise God. I thank

:

God for it. But I am under no mistaken

:

impression that systemic racism is not

:

alive and well globally. Not just in our

:

country, but globally. That spirit of

:

colonialism has not left this world. No,

:

ma'am, it has not left this world. And I

:

believe that we, as bona fide believers in

:

Christ, that that is a very strategic

:

prayer point in order for us to help

:

people from any diaspora, to help

:

indigenous people from all over the planet

:

to start their healing journey, because

:

our identities were lost in that. And that

:

trickled down through generations. And for

:

me, just my personal story of coming into

:

a place where understanding my identity

:

until I understood who God was, not what

:

had been said to me, and even though it

:

was said to me in love, people can only

:

teach you from their level of

:

understanding that part. But when you get

:

a deeper understanding and understand that

:

we as people of color, and I'll just drop

:

this quick nugget. If those of you that

:

are believers in Christ and you ever have

:

someone to try to disparage you in any

:

way, the God that has written this love

:

letter for us and our origins are all over

:

West Africa, East Africa and North Africa.

:

And I'm going to leave it at know. The

:

oldest university, biblical university on

:

the planet is in North Africa, and Africa

:

is Africa. I don't care whether you. From

:

Egypt to Africa. That's right. That's

:

right. Get on your urban apologetics. Let

:

me say that, and I'm going to leave that

:

there. But you better get on your urban

:

apologetics. But you're so right that

:

healing, that love, that things that are

:

broken inside of us that we don't even

:

know is broken. And while you keep running

:

around on these hamster wheels like, God,

:

I did this, I'm doing that. I'm doing

:

this, and I'm doing that. And he's saying,

:

because you don't know who I created you

:

to be. You don't know who I created you to

:

be, because you don't know who I am yet.

:

Let me show you who I am. So I can show

:

you who you are. Yes. And you can learn to

:

allow and to identify what real love is

:

and open yourself up to be loved by me so

:

that I can teach you how to

:

unconditionally love others. And that will

:

just, in my opinion, whatever my two cent

:

is worth, it. Is worth a lot. I believe

:

that's a freedom process. And that's some

:

of the things that I saw, as I went

:

through your book, and I love that it's a

:

workbook. But for me, it is more powerful

:

because it is a workbook. Because it

:

forces me to be accountable. It forces me

:

to be introspective. It forces, and it

:

challenges me to dig deeper within myself,

:

dig deeper within the text. And you know

:

what I wrote it for? Quote unquote busy

:

people, busy women. So it's 30 days. The

:

chapters are pretty much day one, day two,

:

day three, so on and so forth. I wrote it

:

so that you can read the lesson for each

:

chapter in 15 to 30 minutes, even if

:

you're not a very fast reader. 30 minutes.

:

And it has meditation, because meditation

:

for me is key. That is when we get quiet.

:

That is when we close out all of the

:

nonsense, the garbage, and we can really

:

hear from God. It includes affirmations.

:

So there are over 300 affirmations in this

:

book for every situation that you may

:

have. And then it includes some journal

:

prompts. Because what journaling does for

:

us is that it helps us to really discover

:

ourselves. It helps us to excavate

:

ourselves. That's good. And in the

:

sanctity and the quiet and the solitude of

:

your journal, you can have those

:

conversations with yourself that maybe you

:

don't want to have out loud. And they're

:

very important because everybody, we all.

:

I'm going to come out here on. Your

:

podcast and say, do that. That's not what

:

we do. We put our best foot forward. But

:

it's important for my growth, for me to

:

have those conversations with myself about

:

the areas where I do need to grow.

:

Absolutely. Where there are some

:

shortcomings, where it has been

:

problematic. And some of us are not having

:

those conversations really easy. Yeah, it

:

is set up to be a relatively easy read.

:

And the reviews so far have been amazing.

:

There are some chapters where the feedback

:

I've gotten is, I'm going to have to stay

:

a week on this one. And that's good

:

because you identify a place. Now, this is

:

a very funny story. All of you watching

:

who are sanctified, don't at me, because

:

God created sex as well. But there's a

:

chapter on sex and sensuality, which in

:

this day and age, we really need to talk

:

about what sensuality means, because it

:

doesn't mean have all your stuff out on

:

front street for everybody at all times.

:

That is not what it means to be a woman

:

who is in charge of her sexuality or her

:

sensuality, in my opinion. But there is a

:

meditation in there that is designed to

:

get us to be more in touch with our bodies

:

as the temples that they are, but still

:

acknowledging, yes, that we were created

:

with sexual desires. We are sensual beings

:

as well as spiritual beings. Right. And I

:

have had some people inbox me, and they

:

were like, aya, you need to put a

:

disclaimer on this one. Don't put no

:

disclaimer on it. Put, like, some big

:

exclamation points and say, start here

:

first. No, this sister said she was trying

:

to break up with her significant other and

:

they'd really actually plan to go there.

:

Yeah. And she says, I did that meditation.

:

I went and jumped on that man. Two thumbs

:

up for her. Right. I love that because let

:

me echo you and Amy and you. And this is

:

my podcast, so I got your back. Right. So,

:

a lot of times, statistically, in the

:

church, in the body of Christ, the divorce

:

rate is extremely high. Extremely high.

:

And over the years, my husband and I have

:

grown to the place where now we can

:

encourage others in our. In their

:

marriage. And so we hear. Amen. Thank you

:

for that a lot. Amen. Thank you. It was a

:

journey, and maybe we'll talk about that

:

on another podcast. Well, you can't give

:

what you haven't received. So the best

:

marriage counselors are the people who've

:

been through something. Otherwise, you're

:

just out here just talking fairy tales,

:

right? Yes. It's something you didn't

:

thought about. And it sound good and it

:

brief. Well, but you have no idea the

:

practicality of it. But sex and finance.

:

Sex, finance and children and in laws,

:

those are the top things that are

:

oftentimes discussed with us. And some of

:

the brothers, like, there's this young

:

couple that we're talking to, like, my

:

son's age. They're in their 28, 27. And so

:

when that conversation came, I was

:

thinking to myself on the inside, baby,

:

what's wrong with you? Was I saved, like,

:

bunnies up in this piece, like, what are

:

you doing? But a lot of times in the body

:

of Christ, it's so taboo, and I don't

:

understand the origins of it. Like, who

:

was the fella that came up with that lie

:

that as women, we are not sensual

:

creatures. We don't desire to be with men

:

the way that men desire to be with us. If

:

we didn't have those desires on the inside

:

of us, God didn't create us that way, then

:

why would he create the man that way? He's

:

not the author of confusion. Somebody

:

created that lie, and people bought it

:

over the years. And when we're having

:

these conversations and sometimes I get

:

negative feedback. And my answer is this

:

to men and women. If men are so sexual and

:

sensual that they can't control themselves

:

and they go on out and sleeping with three

:

and four and five different women, they're

:

sleeping with women that mean those women

:

want them. He was sleeping with you. He

:

wants you. Unlock and discover, what are

:

your hold ups in the bedroom. If it's

:

trauma, I got you. I understand. Work

:

through that. But if it's because you're

:

believing a lie, just don't do that. Well,

:

but that's what we do in the church,

:

though. I mean, you are taught as a girl,

:

not boys, but the girls in. Particular,

:

read the song of. No, no, exactly.

:

Solomon, listen, if they don't tell you

:

that that came from the Bible and you just

:

read it somewhere, you'd be like, oh,

:

that's scandalous. And Solomon loved a

:

couple of different things as an adult.

:

When I read it, I was like, oh, let me

:

highlight that and show that to me. But I

:

think in the church, what happens is that

:

we hammer this into women about, into

:

young girls. Be chaste and be pure, and we

:

teach them that sex is a bad thing. Right,

:

right. And then you get married and you're

:

expected to flip switch. Well, if you've

:

indoctrinated me into thinking it's a bad

:

thing all this time, and boom, I got

:

married. And now all of a sudden I'm

:

supposed to think, this is amazing and be

:

open to exploration. It's tough. We're

:

doing the church a disservice, the. Way

:

that we teach this service. When my

:

daughter came to me, she was about 1516,

:

and I was happy and I was sad all at the

:

same time. I was happy that she came to me

:

with the conversation. I was sad because

:

I'm actually having this conversation. I

:

only have one daughter, and we were in

:

Germany. I will never forget it. Standing

:

in the kitchen, cooking. Almost dropped

:

that whole bowl. But I'm trying to keep it

:

together on the outside, because if she's

:

seeing me freak out, we'll never talk,

:

like, come back. That's right. She'll

:

never come back. And what amazed her was

:

when I told her, sex feels great. Sex is

:

wonderful. I love it. I enjoy it. And when

:

you're partnered with the right person,

:

the person that you're going to spend the

:

rest of your life with, then that makes it

:

even better. So all of these things that

:

you see your friends experiencing

:

negatively, that wasn't the way God

:

designed it to be. He wouldn't have

:

designed something for us. To do and then

:

say, no, don't do that. That's naughty for

:

you. I want you to do it. I think, great,

:

but don't do it. No, that's not how that

:

works. My 20 year old. And she'll cringe

:

when she hears this. I just had that

:

conversation with her just yesterday, and

:

I was like, sex is a beautiful thing. It's

:

wonderful with the right person under the

:

right circumstances. But if you're doing

:

all of this stuff and then worrying about,

:

did I get pregnant? Whose baby is it? All

:

of that, that's a little much. And that's

:

an indicator that you probably shouldn't

:

be doing this. And my daughter was just.

:

Her eyes were so big. She was like, mom,

:

you started the conversation. That was my

:

daughter. She was like, no, I don't want

:

to hear this from you. I was like, I had

:

five of you, all right, right. There you

:

go. I've got five of you all. We enjoy

:

that. I'm not Virgin Mary, right? I'm not

:

married. But she was amazed. But again, I

:

was very much happy that she had that

:

conversation with me because I didn't want

:

her to experience some of the things that

:

I did growing up and being at my

:

grandmother's house, we just didn't talk

:

about it. It was a sin. Don't do it till

:

you get married. That was it. The other

:

aspects of it, then trying to find out

:

information from other people and during

:

the time frame that I was a young person,

:

oh, good girls do this, bad girls do that.

:

And now I'm confused because I kind of

:

like that. And so now you're telling me,

:

no, I'm not. Yes, I'm not. I'm 100%

:

normal. So I didn't want my daughter to

:

experience that. Like, no, it's great.

:

God, everything God created, it is good.

:

He created it for a reason. As a matter of

:

fact, he said, do it frequently and often.

:

I mean, he does, though, doesn't he? So if

:

you are listening and you're like, I don't

:

know, I'm blocked in this area. Go do that

:

meditation for that chapter. It will help

:

you out. Yes, go straight to that chapter.

:

We've been joking. But seriously, I think

:

for some women, going to that chapter is

:

necessary in their self love journey

:

because they've not accepted that portion

:

of themselves. That's a huge portion that

:

could be causing them conflict in their

:

relationships, which is hindering them in

:

a lot of ways. Right. So every chapter is

:

a good chapter. I'm going to just let you

:

know. I'm glad you there is one. On

:

honoring ourselves and releasing shame.

:

Probably that's the chapter that so far I

:

have gotten the most feedback on, because

:

unfortunately, we are subject to a lot of

:

shame on a lot of different levels. And if

:

I talk black women in particular, because

:

I'm a black woman, it could be everything

:

from our skin color to our body type to

:

whether we grew up with money or didn't

:

grow up with money, to whether we, quote

:

unquote, had good hair or didn't our

:

facial features. There's just so much

:

already just because of this standard of

:

beauty that is not us, that has prevented

:

some of us from seeing our own beauty, and

:

we get bullied in our own community, and

:

then let's not talk about the sexual

:

molestation that occurs. Then you add the

:

racism. Actually, no, I should say a lot.

:

For a lot of the feedback that I've gotten

:

from different readers, people have really

:

honed in on the chapter that deals with

:

honoring yourself and releasing shame.

:

Yes, that's real good. I mean, all of that

:

that you just said. Just thinking back to

:

some of the things having, I think for me,

:

a positive of having grown up in my small

:

hometown was this. A lot of my teachers

:

were african american women. Hallelujah,

:

they were african. And I didn't understand

:

how much of a blessing that was until my

:

daughter was going through middle school

:

and high school, and she was middle school

:

in the UK and high school in Germany. And

:

we were military. And so we have this

:

multicultural situation going on, and

:

we're know going in as parents, we were

:

intentionally in these places,

:

intentionally, because we wanted our

:

children to experience living abroad and

:

not just seeing the world from an american

:

perspective. It was very intentional, very

:

narrow perspective. Yes, we were there

:

very intentionally. And even during those

:

times, we intentionally did not go to

:

church. On the military installations, as

:

it were, we found west african churches in

:

Germany. Our pastor was nigerian. In

:

England. Our pastor was ghanaian. Very,

:

because we wanted our children to

:

experience, like, the african people that

:

we met while living in America had become

:

very americanized. But a lot of people do

:

that. And what we found when we were

:

initially moving into both countries is

:

that african peoples, or even caribbean

:

peoples who are living in other countries

:

maintain a large degree of their culture,

:

like it's cultural pockets in these

:

cities. And that was a very beautiful

:

thing. Like, we want our children to this

:

because, no, I can't trace my bloodline.

:

Your dad, he can trace his bloodline a lot

:

further than I can. But then we can have

:

these conversations. Right. But what we

:

found is things were great in the

:

communities that we had become a part of

:

while living abroad because we had

:

immersed ourselves in very positive

:

communities, not just church, but in

:

caribbean and african cultures. Right. But

:

when she was back on base at school, she

:

faced the microaggressions and racism and

:

racism from within the black community

:

because of her hair type and her skin

:

tone, she got the things. You're pretty

:

for a black girl. What does that mean?

:

What is that? Never heard that growing up.

:

I mean, I'm short, and I'm what you would

:

call a brick house. An old guy told me

:

that once, like, you're brick. That was

:

like, song. So then when I told my mama,

:

she was like, oh, he's just saying, you

:

fine. Okay, I got you. Right? So I grew up

:

with that. I didn't have issues with my

:

skin tone or my hair or the way my body

:

was made because it was highly desirable

:

by African Americans in my community,

:

wasn't my daughter's experience. And when

:

we would talk about it a little bit and

:

when she finally started telling me more

:

things, and she was a cheerleader at the

:

time, and what they wanted her to coach

:

was african american. And when she said

:

some stuff, I lost all of my jesus, and I

:

wanted to beat that lady up in front of my

:

house. It's like, I suggest you leave

:

right now. But the Holy Spirit spoke to me

:

and take her 30 days back home and praise

:

God that my husband had a career where we

:

could do that. So for 30 days, I took her

:

back to Mississippi to give her to ground.

:

Hearing me say it, hearing some of our

:

other african american friends and

:

caribbean african friends, hearing someone

:

say that, especially when they love you,

:

is different than experiencing that. And

:

so being able to take her back to my

:

hometown and having her to experience that

:

for real, especially from young people in

:

her age group, it completely changed her

:

perspective. And so that chapter that you

:

have there. Oh, that's phenomenal. And

:

lots of african american and just people

:

of color, period, need that chapter. They

:

need that chapter because I didn't

:

understand the vast difference between the

:

way that I was raised and in school and

:

hearing people affirm me, not even

:

realizing they were affirming me, versus.

:

It's great to be multicultural, but don't

:

lose who you are in that. And let someone

:

tell you that who you are is less than

:

when the whole time, they're appropriating

:

everything that we do and giving

:

themselves cancer in the process. Thank

:

you. Because now big lips are in and big

:

booties are in. Anyway, we could go on on

:

that and to that extent, that immersion in

:

her community, in her culture, that could

:

affirm her and remind her of the beauty in

:

her. That's what the meditations in this

:

book every day do for us in terms of

:

getting quiet, because most of us are

:

never quiet. It's always something, right?

:

And training yourself, and people tell me

:

the meditations are hard to do. And I was

:

like, yeah, it's like, okay, for anything

:

new that you're starting, it's going to

:

take a while. And then as you lean into it

:

and keep doing it, you're going to get

:

better at it. But quieting your mind and

:

just being able to sit in the presence of

:

God and to let God love on you and to

:

remind you about why you are so special,

:

for you to see your attributes or God's

:

attributes in yourself, it's a powerful

:

thing. And once you're grounded in that,

:

it doesn't matter what the world is

:

saying. Like, the world cannot shake my

:

self esteem. I'm absolutely clear in who I

:

am, and every day I'm learning more about

:

who I am, and I'm getting stronger in that

:

knowledge and in that power. So even if

:

you want to look at this from a christian

:

perspective, because I know that there are

:

people who are not necessarily of the

:

christian faith who may be watching this.

:

What did Jesus say? Greater things than

:

what I've done will you do in my name.

:

Didn't Jesus say. Fully expect for myself

:

that as I continue to grow, I am laying

:

hands on people and they're being healed?

:

I am speaking a word into someone and it

:

produces fruit. I can curse a tree and it

:

dies, which is why I'm very careful with

:

my words. Why not the same power that

:

resides in Jesus, that resided in Jesus or

:

Buddha or Muhammad or any of the spiritual

:

leaders people want to bring up? That same

:

power resides in me. It comes from the

:

creator. And as I meditate and I pray, I'm

:

connected directly to that source, and I

:

function in that power. It's amazing, the

:

power of meditation. Having those daily

:

meditations are such a blessing. The

:

scripture commands us to meditate, and I

:

think as christians that part. We don't

:

read the scriptures for ourselves. Let me

:

say that when we don't read the scriptures

:

for ourselves, we erroneously associate

:

meditation with something that's dark and

:

evil. Joshua one, just as an example. And

:

psalms one clearly tell you. Joshua one,

:

six through nine, and psalms one, verses

:

one through three. And then the latter

:

part of psalms tell you what happens if

:

you don't meditate. So Joshua tells you

:

what happens when you do, when you

:

meditate on this word day and night, and

:

you observe to do simply, meaning, I

:

endeavor to obey what is written therein.

:

It doesn't say that God will make our way

:

prosperous. It says that we will make our

:

way prosperous and have good success

:

because of the obedience that we have

:

come. On now and preach. But it says that

:

the power of meditation. If I'm meditating

:

on his word day and night, day and night,

:

that means that also gives me ammunition.

:

That gives the Lord something to work

:

with, because when I am meditating on that

:

and his word is in me, David said, how can

:

a young man cleanse his ways except by

:

taking heed there into his word? But his

:

word has got to be in me. This also tells

:

me that when the enemy rushes in like a

:

flood, when those negative thoughts come,

:

those fiery darts come, the spirit of the

:

Lord will lift up a standard on the inside

:

of us. What is that standard? It has to be

:

built and based on the word. So then that

:

declaration, God's word, can come up

:

conqueror. Yeah. I'm created as women

:

because what does. The Bible tell us?

:

David encouraged himself in the world.

:

What do you think that encouragement was?

:

It's affirmations. His affirmations.

:

You're speaking power into yourself. You

:

are. As women, we are fearfully and

:

wonderfully made in the image of God.

:

Don't let anybody tell you anything

:

different. If you are in a situation or

:

circumstance or you've believed in a

:

misogynistic lies. The Lord said you were

:

created in his image and in his likeness,

:

and he gave you power and authority and

:

dominion. Yes. He's a creative being with

:

creative power. So if he can speak it and

:

it can exist, you can too. As women, we

:

are creative and powerful, spiritually and

:

naturally. We give birth spiritually and

:

naturally and naturally. Literally. And I

:

tell men this all the time. I was like all

:

of you all came through a woman. What are

:

you talking about? If there was no me,

:

there would be no you, Ma. Eve is mother

:

of all. I think that is one of the english

:

definitions of the word. Right. And here's

:

the thing is, if you really love yourself,

:

there's no need to base your self worth on

:

putting anybody else down. Come on, that's

:

real. If I know my value, I don't have to

:

devalue someone else to make myself feel

:

better, right? I can honor my value and

:

honor their value. Yes, absolutely. So

:

whenever I see whether it's any of the

:

isms, racism, ageism, sexism, all of that

:

it really is born out of your sense of

:

inadequacy. And so now my presence is so

:

threatening to you that you feel, I got to

:

crush her or I got to put her down, or

:

I've got to create laws that give me an

:

advantage because low key, as my kids will

:

say, low key. You don't think you can

:

compete? Come on. First of all, you think

:

it's a competition because we really don't

:

have to be in competition. But second of

:

all, you really don't feel like you can

:

compete. And so you've got to make sure

:

that the playing field is not level, it's

:

not equal, so that you can get ahead. So

:

every time you set those kind of rules up,

:

whether you're a man doing it for women or

:

whether you're of the caucasian race, and

:

you do, it's really a reflection of how

:

inadequate you feel. Yes. Come on, now.

:

Come on, now. Why am I. So that

:

superintendent down there in the Houston

:

area that had the audacity, the

:

unmitigated goal, can I say it like that?

:

One of my favorite preachers says that he

:

has the audacity in 2024. In 2024, to

:

write that full page article. He paid

:

money to let every. On the. Isn't that

:

taxpayers money? Did he pay the money?

:

Yes, he paid all that money to let the

:

world know that the lens of which he views

:

the world and everything in it is skewed,

:

because as Americans, does that mean we

:

need to conform, then? That means you need

:

to conform, too. Everybody does not have

:

to conform to you. Conform to what,

:

exactly? It does not have to form one

:

particular people group's way of life and

:

thoughts and actions. We don't have to

:

conform to that. So what are we saying

:

here? He definitely showed how wretched

:

his soul is. Yes, because I don't know

:

what that child's hairstyle has to do with

:

anything. Has to do with his ability to.

:

Learn or how it's preventing anybody else

:

from learning. I mean, you look at all the

:

issues we have to deal with in the state

:

of Texas and how poor our educational

:

system is, and that is where you're

:

putting your effort and your money right

:

there. You're putting all that energy into

:

something that literally, to me, is

:

inconsequential. The young man's hair

:

looked amazing. It looked amazing. I mean,

:

he wasn't walking so black people like

:

Julio. It was braided. It was down like it

:

wasn't a distraction. Black people and

:

anybody who loves justice, Hispanics,

:

Asians, white folk who love justice, you

:

have to register to vote, and you have to

:

go out and vote and you have to vote for

:

people who respect the humanity of

:

everyone. Yes, I'm Republican. I'm

:

Democrat. I'm actually not registered as

:

either. This is really about good versus

:

evil. And when you see people telling a

:

woman, I'm so pro life that you need to

:

stay in your car, in the parking lot of a

:

hospital and bleed out. Yeah. Because

:

we've decided that the life of the baby

:

that's really dead in your womb is more

:

so. It's not even life is more important

:

than your life. But these same people,

:

once you do have the baby, don't want to

:

provide childcare. They don't want to

:

provide food. They don't want to provide

:

resources for you to take care of the so

:

called life that is so important. We need

:

to think about these things, and you

:

cannot sit on the sidelines anymore. These

:

are literally people who are kicking a

:

child out of school because of. His hair,

:

because of his hairstyle and standing on

:

it to the point where they're taking out

:

full page articles with. Taxpayers money,

:

with taxpayer money and closing libraries.

:

Yes. Come on now. That part, when I saw

:

the list in some states, including our

:

own, of course, of the books that are

:

banned, in order to push that racist

:

agenda, you had to then include literary

:

works that have been esteemed over

:

hundreds of years around the world. Well,

:

if they use the standard that they're

:

using to ban books, they need to ban the

:

Bible. Because the Bible talks about rape,

:

sexual assault. Definitely. Song of

:

Solomon talks about enjoying all of this.

:

Yeah, they need a band of Bible, too.

:

Quiet as it's kept. I know a lot of my

:

christian listeners because I love Jesus,

:

y'all. Jesus gave us a brain to be not

:

sheeple. If we as believers don't do what

:

you just said, if we're not being

:

prayerful and we're not voting according

:

to the. And researching that candidate's

:

voting history and understanding that they

:

actually love humans and that they are

:

actually for me, for their constituents in

:

that community. We as Christians, the

:

sheeple ones of us who are just voting

:

party line, you're going to fool around

:

and allow them to create laws that will,

:

in fact, ban the Bible. And you don't even

:

see it. You don't even see it because it's

:

one of the best selling books of all time

:

and it's one of the most controversial

:

books of all time. And in your effort to

:

inflict your rule and your way of law,

:

it's creating. I know, lawyer, but it

:

looked like you creating an open door for

:

somebody to stand up and say, okay, we're

:

going to ban the Bible because it fits

:

everything that you just said. And then

:

what's going to happen? Then you're going

:

to be standing around with your mouth open

:

and your eyes wide. Talk about, oh, that's

:

not of God. Well, you did it. You set the

:

precedents for it. You set the stage for

:

it. What are we doing? We could talk about

:

that on another podcast. And we do need to

:

talk about it because it is time for those

:

who truly love God to stand up and stop

:

being sheeple. Yes. Or stop thinking, oh,

:

I'm just going to pray and God will send

:

someone to come and do this. God uses us.

:

Yes, there is a role for us to play and

:

faith without works is dead. So the fact

:

that you just praying, praying, praying.

:

Harriet Tubman prayed and she did

:

something. Yes, she. Yes. So we need to be

:

about that business as well. We absolutely

:

have to be about that business. Listen,

:

Ms. I know I have kept you past the time I

:

promised I was going to keep you. I

:

appreciate your patience. No, I love

:

talking with you. When you talk with a

:

woman who loves God, who's done the work,

:

who's been through some things, we're not

:

pulling this just from books. This is like

:

lived experiences. It's a beautiful

:

feeling. Thank you. Thank you for coming.

:

I would love to have you back for

:

absolutely a part two and part three for

:

sure. There's so many great things that we

:

can dig into that I believe, because the

:

purpose of this podcast is to provide

:

tools to the listeners to help them grow

:

personally and professionally. And I know

:

that in this conversation there has been

:

an unlimited amount of tools that you have

:

released on today that definitely will

:

help our audience grow personally and

:

professionally. Guys, go out, get the

:

book. The link will be in the show notes.

:

If you are listening to this podcast on

:

audio, just go back out to the show notes.

:

Click that link, run on over there to

:

Amazon and purchase the book and leave a

:

review. Thank you. Purchase the book. Step

:

two, read the book. Step three, write a

:

review on Amazon. Those ratings and

:

reviews, they mean more than you can know.

:

Ask any author or publisher. Those ratings

:

and reviews are very impactful, very

:

meaningful. And you want to get the book.

:

I have it on digital. Your self love

:

revolution. Yes. You want to run out and

:

get your copy today. It's actually an

:

accompanying journal. So when you look up

:

your self love revolution, you can also

:

pick up the journal, which is just an

:

additional tool to get you to dig deeper.

:

To dig deeper. And we want to do that. Dig

:

deep and do the work before we close out.

:

Ms. Aya, is there anything that you would

:

like to leave with the toolbox audience

:

today? Absolutely. I want to say to each

:

and every one of us, you are enough. You

:

are love. You are lovely. You are lovable.

:

And don't let anybody tell you any

:

different. Just as you are. You are

:

enough. Awesome. Amen. Amen. Thank you

:

again. Listen, guys, this has been a

:

fantastic episode of Laquita's Toolbox.

:

Hit those, like, share and subscribe

:

buttons so that you will receive

:

notifications when new episodes come out.

:

Until next time, I am your host, Laquita

:

Mondley. You guys be blessed and enjoy the

:

amazing rest of your day. Take care. Thank

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