Assess how feeling career stuck is impacting you across ten areas of life - in 30 minutes.  Then, decide what you want to do about it.

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Stress is everywhere, and for many of us, our default response is to just crack on and keep going. But that mindset doesn’t work forever—eventually, burnout catches up.

In this episode, I talk with stress management coach Bernadette Dancy about why we need to stop glorifying overwork and start building sustainable ways to thrive. Bernie shares practical, science-backed techniques to help midlife professionals reduce stress, regain energy, and set boundaries—without quitting your job or making drastic changes.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:

✔ Why stress is officially a global health crisis (and why it’s getting worse)

✔ The ABC Framework for real stress relief

✔ Why exercise doesn’t have to mean the gym—movement is key

✔ How better sleep, boundaries, and reducing alcohol can transform your energy

✔ The hidden role of caffeine and carbs in burnout recovery

✔ Why dealing with stress isn’t just about habits—it’s about your beliefs

Small adjustments lead to big relief. You don’t have to overhaul your life—just start with one positive change today.

Stress is the health epidemic of the 21st century, says the

World Health Organization.

My next guest and I wholeheartedly agree.

Our generation's reaction to stress appears to be to just crack on.

But unless you have superhuman reserves of energy, at some point just

cracking on isn't a smart strategy for thriving at work nor thriving in life.

Bernadette Dancy, Bernie to her friends, has been a stress management

coach and consultant for eight years, and she has some brilliant, clever

and practical ideas on how to stop just cracking on until we break.

She shares instead insights into how companies, and we as individuals,

can train ourselves how to perform optimally without burning it out.

She talks about where to start if indeed you are feeling like you're burning

out and she gives some really practical ideas that you, your colleagues and

your bosses could discuss to help everyone around you thrive at work.

Let's dive in.

I've heard you say that we're living in a time that can be

described as a stress crisis.

Tell me more.

Yeah, unfortunately, I have said that.

I've been known to say that.

But it doesn't just come from me, it comes from the World Health Organization.

They were the first to say this.

And what they really were saying was that stress is the health epidemic of

the 21st century, it's terrifying to think about and it's almost unbelievable.

And that's worrying.

We're just seeing this rise in this pattern where people are

struggling a lot more in society.

And it breaks my heart because often they're in caring roles, they're people

who are working incredibly hard and the number of people are burnt out.

But the sad part about that is they just crack on.

We tend to see this approach in society where people are almost resigned to it,

they're almost like, what else can we do?

We just have to crack on.

So cracking on, that is what our generation seems to be doing.

We seem to have grown up with this ability to crack on and dig deep, but what can we

midlife professionals do rather than just cracking on and keep going until we break?

I think we've got to look at what we mean by cracking on.

If we're cracking on in a way that's not changing anything, that we're just

continuing the narrative that we're pushing without rest and recovery,

that we're burning the candle at both ends, and we're pushing ourselves into

burnout, then we need to address that.

But cracking on can be reframed.

So cracking on can mean, what is it we can do to change that narrative?

We can crack on in a more adaptive way.

So we can go, okay, we're recognizing that we are struggling.

So if we're going to crack on, we need to think about how

do we do things differently.

It's no point in doing the same thing over and over again,

expecting different results.

And I think we can crack on from two perspectives.

I think it has to be from an individual perspective and it has to be from

an organizational perspective, especially when it comes to looking

at the degree to which workplace stress is affecting individuals.

So from an organizational perspective, I think cracking on can't mean

blindly just keep pushing people because A, it's costing money.

If somebody's signed off sick, you've got to get their replacement.

You've got to pay them sick pay.

So it's a significant amount of revenue and economic impact on organizations.

But we need a culture shift.

If you want people to perform optimally, we can't keep running them into the

ground and then losing good people.

So therefore CEOs, line managers, middle managers, we have to start

looking at ourselves and say, how do we help people perform optimally?

Because this isn't working.

So it's about a culture shift from a top down approach.

So we've got to start , in organization thinking about optimal performance

is possible without burning out.

And it can be done.

And then from an individual perspective, we've got to start looking at ourselves

and thinking about how are we showing up, how are we looking after ourselves

to get to that door, to get to the office door, to get to the laptop, to get to

the desk, because energy is finite, we can't just keep pushing ourselves.

And so I think taking that look at ourselves and going, okay,

I can't change the demands.

I can't necessarily change the culture.

But I have got control over me, and that's really empowering, I think.

lovely.

And that's where I want to go next.

I want to go a bit more practical, yes?

So when we're talking about the individual, if someone is listening and

everything you've said resonates, can you share a few, three or four very practical

ideas that they might be able to do today or this week that will reduce or have a

positive impact on their stress feelings?

Absolutely, I think simplicity is key.

So if that's them, if they're listening, the first point is get burnout first

aid, which is tell somebody about how you're feeling because we tend to keep

it to ourselves and we crack on while everybody's feeling like that, right?

But.

Acknowledging is a problem.

Telling somebody is the first step.

That could be a friend, it could be a partner, it could be a colleague

you trust, but it could be, and most importantly, it should be

potentially a GP or maybe a therapist.

And the reason I say that is because when someone is overwhelmed, we're

working in a place of irrational thought.

It's very hard to make logical, rational decisions about the support

you need when you're on fire.

You're not going to be able to do that.

So we need to go to somebody who can be one step removed in a logical,

rational brain and can give you advice.

And the next step is really to action that advice.

Now the next steps are, I always like to take an ABC approach because

it's easy for people to remember.

Number one is start looking at your levels of activity.

When people are stressed and burnt out, they get chained to

their laptop and their desk.

Because our tendency is to think, I'm tired, I've got such a long

to do list, I need to work harder, I can't stop, I have to do this.

I'm really busy.

I have to crack on.

And so we sacrifice movement, but movement is the fundamental component of our

mental health, of our metabolic health, of our endocrine health, of our hormones.

And I'm not talking about exercise.

I'm talking about ambulatory step count.

I'm talking about stretching or talk about moving.

So A is for get active.

Don't sacrifice your mental health and physical health for the desk.

The more you move, the more you're going to feel better.

B is to look at bedtime.

So the other end of the spectrum, if you're moving more, how are you

getting that rest and recovery?

So look at your bedtime, look at your routine and look at your sleep quality.

Typically people are stressed and burnt out.

They're not getting that recovery.

The other B, there's a couple of Bs in here, is boundaries.

And I know you've talked a lot about this in the podcast.

Great episode.

I definitely recommend people go back and tune in.

Often people are stressed and overwhelmed and burnt out.

They've got very poor boundaries.

and struggle to say no and struggle to protect their energy.

So looking at their own boundaries, where are you giving your energy?

There's a great quote from the book The Alchemist and it says when

you say yes to others, make sure that you're not saying no to you.

And it's a great line.

It's every time you say yes to someone, is that a no to me?

And if it's a no to me, then I need to put a boundary in there.

Love it.

The last one in the B's is booze.

We all like to have a little tipple, especially if we're

struggling, maybe if we're finding that we're tired or exhausted.

But again it's actually going to help contribute towards the stress

and not the recovery aspect of it.

So looking at where we're coping, if we're finding we're leaning towards

faulty coping strategies like that, it's a good simple adjustment to try

and cut back and get more energy back.

So that's A, that's B, and the last one is C is carbs and caffeine.

This is one that people really struggle with because caffeine is

often used as a replacement for energy.

So a practical solution is to reflect on the amount of caffeine.

If you're overwhelmed, on the path to chronic stress and burnout, you may

find you're leaning on caffeine to get that energy to help you to focus.

But actually it's really going to be taking away from you getting

real energy from food and sleep.

So if you're masking or if you're surviving on caffeine, it's a little red

flag around maybe I need to make some adjustments where I get my energy from.

And then the second part of that is, unfortunately, carbohydrate intake.

We give it such a bad press, especially in women, but we've got to remember

carbohydrate is an energy source.

And it's actually the main energy source for our brain.

So if we're noticing that we're finding ourselves tired and

exhausted, it'll reflect, am I getting enough carbohydrate into my diet?

Because actually, if you've cut back on that, you're going to be

making the whole problem worse.

So those are the kind of A, B, Cs.

If as soon as we are, noticing, that we are struggling.

These are the things that small tiny adjustments within those areas can bring

back energy which brings us back online.

Now the very last thing I'll say is start to then do the real work

because that's just opening the door.

You have to start working with maybe a coach or a therapist or start to

reflect on what got you to that place.

Because the real work really is, what changes do I need to make to my beliefs

about myself, my work ethic, the amount of money I want to earn, because they're the

real drivers in how you got to that place.

Because they will have impacted your boundaries, and they'll have impacted

maybe, how much you're willing to take on to please other people.

And quite often that requires just a bit more deeper exploration.

And often, therapy can be a great healer for those things because then we're able

to go forward and actually carry out those boundaries that we put in place.

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment.

It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas

of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down.

I call it Derailed.

It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.