Episode 1193: Are you building a life you love, or just escaping one that feels misaligned? In this episode of The BIGG Success Show, George and Mary-Lynn explore how distraction, busyness, and “someday” thinking can quietly pull us into coping mode instead of intentional living. Drawing on research and real-life experience, they unpack why escape isn’t the problem...it’s a signal.

You’ll learn how meaning, alignment, and purposeful goals create a life you don’t need to escape from, and why stress isn’t the enemy when it serves something bigger. The episode ends with a simple BIGG Assignment to help you spot misalignment and begin shifting from autopilot to on purpose.

Thanks for listening!

Here’s to your BIGG Success,

George & Mary-Lynn

BIGG Takeaways:

1. Reflecting on whether you are building a life you love or just finding ways to cope is crucial for long-term happiness.
2. Daydreaming can be a double-edged sword; it can inspire creativity but also create illusions of achievement.
3. Engaging with your life rather than escaping it is essential for true fulfillment and purpose.
4. Alignment between your values, goals, and daily actions is key to preventing that drift into autopilot living.
5. Understanding the difference between coping and creating can shift your perspective on how you approach challenges.
6. Finding meaning in your life through service and contribution can lead to greater satisfaction and reduced anxiety.

BIGG Chapters

[00:14] Exploring the Concept of Escape

[01:37] Escaping Default Lives

[03:24] Understanding Avoidance Coping

[06:16] Finding Alignment in Life's Purpose

[09:08] Building a Life of Purpose

Links referenced in this episode:

1. Research: Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life
2. Episode 1190: Crafting Purposeful Goals That Propel You Forward
3. Life Map Course
4. Follow our podcast
5. Join our newsletter

On this episode of The BIGG Success Show, are you building a life or escaping reality?

BIGG Success with The Professor and Mary-Lynn.

Escape. What a word. It comes in many forms, scrolling on your phone, binge, watching a TV show, fantasizing a future. And I could go on.

Sometimes it can be healthy to escape or it can be unhealthy. And sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.

For example, I'm a fan of daydreaming.

Oh, yes, you are. I'll catch you over there. Like, what's The Professor do? Oh, he's daydreaming.

Well, and when I get stressed, I do like to cope by dreaming about the future.

You're a BIGG thinker with two GS.

You know, pulling back in your vision of your future life and how things are going towards it. But I know that I have to be really careful because this is really interesting to me,

Mary-Lynn...Psychologists tell us that if you're really, really good at visualizing, it actually hurts you because your brain thinks you've already achieved it! And so you have to be careful about your daydreaming because it can steer you wrong. The brain thinks you've already achieved your dream.

So yeah, your brain's like, hey, you've done it, so no need to keep thinking about that one.

Exactly.

And now daydreaming can be negative as well, especially if you spend an inordinate amount of time on "Someday." Someday, which, you know, I'm dangerously close to that with my daydreaming. The world marches on, but you get stuck in place even if you feel like you're making progress.

So on this episode, we're going to talk about building a life by escaping those things that are holding you back.

Welcome to The BIGG Success Show where we help you create the life you want. I'm Mary-Lynn.

And I'm George, "The Professor".

Here's a question for you: Are you actually building a life you love, or are you just finding better ways to cope with the one you don't?

Now, this isn't a trick question. It's actually a wake up call.

That's actually a really deep question.

It is a deep question.

Yeah.

And you know, many smart, capable, well intentioned people aren't living bad lives. They're living default lives. And those are lives that are filled with distraction, busyness, and what I call someday-ish. Someday-ish.

Because lives that require frequent escapes just to feel okay, that's not what we want for in our lives. We don't want just okay.

No, no, we do not have to settle with just okay. And if you've ever heard yourself saying things like, "I just need a vacation" or, "You know, things will calm down once I get this project done."

Oh, here's another one, "I'll have time later to focus on what I really want."

It's pretty common to say things like that, and it may just mean that you're in a moment of misalignment.

Well, and I think we want to emphasize this, Mary-Lynn, escaping doesn't mean that you're lazy or you're unmotivated. It usually means that there's something deeper. Your days don't reflect your values.

Your energy is spent maintaining, not creating. Your life feels disconnected from who you truly are.

So now, hey, just take comfort, because this isn't like a personal issue. This is actually a thing that's been studied.

Yes. And psychologists call this thing avoidance coping. That's when we distract ourselves to reduce discomfort instead of addressing its cause.

So when you scroll, binge, fantasize, or stay busy just to stay busy, it's not weakness. It's data, information. Your life is trying to tell you something. So the real question ISN'T, how do I escape less.

The real question IS, what kind of life would I NOT want to escape from?

And that's the shift. That's the shift. Because escape is reactive. Building is intentional. And the difference between the two is the difference between coping and creating.

Most people don't just wake up and decide, "Hey, I think I just want to escape my life." You kind of start drifting away. And that drifting happens quietly.

It happens when no one ever teaches you how to design a life.

Yeah. To design and create the life you want.

Exactly. Or you can fuse success with satisfaction. Or you keep saying yes to what's urgent and no to what matters. True. That's what probably most people do.

And I've been there.

Haven't we all?

Absolutely.

Without a clear direction, we tend to default to whatever's loudest. Hey, now. Ouch. To whatever is easiest or most familiar. But that is living on autopilot.

Research consistently shows that people who experience their lives as meaningful report higher satisfaction, better resilience, and lower anxiety and depression. And we see that meaning doesn't come from comfort. This is another thing that we learned from the positive psychologists.

Comfort is not really what fulfills you. It's purpose, progress, contribution. Things where we're helping others, serving others. And in serving others, we help ourselves.

In other words, knowing what matters, moving toward it, and feeling connected to something bigger than yourself.

Yes. And something else that also comes up in the research - and actually we do have a link to the research paper that we're citing here in your show notes -

A meaningful life does not mean a stress free life.

Correct. If only it did.

What's that?

If only it did.

Yeah, but what it does mean is that it gives stress a reason. Here's what we mean by that. When you're living out your mission, there's definitely stress.

Yes, there is.

But that stress doesn't bother you so much because there's greater good coming from it. So you're going to take on that stress because you know that it's stress that needs to be taken on.

Yeah. And so how do we get there? Well, we start building a life. And that starts with alignment.

Alignment is when your values match, your choices, your goals match, your identity and your daily actions support your long term visions.

That align goals, help you say yes to the right things and no to options that pull you off course. Aligned goals also help you be present in your own life. And presence is where fulfillment lives.

So here's your BIGG Assignment. Ask yourself three questions: Number one, what do I spend most of my time doing? Question number two, what matters most to me?

And then number three, do those two things match?

Those are some pretty intriguing questions, professor. Now what do we do with this information?

Well, so if you find out that that the two don't match, don't judge yourself, but just take notice. Because that's where change begins. It's this awareness of shortfalls in our alignment. And when we get out of align, then we lose everything.

Right.

It's that alignment that keeps us going.

And it's lack of alignment that starts that drift. And it's that drift that makes us escape.

Yep, exactly right.

Instead of being present in our lives and having that life that we truly want.

Absolutely right.

And a life that you don't need to escape from isn't perfect, but it is purposeful. It includes goals that mean something to you, boundaries that protect your energy, daily actions that move the needle even slightly.

It's not about doing more. It is about doing what matters.

And this is where life mapping comes in at BIGG Success. We've seen this again and again. When people see their life clearly, their values, their purpose, their goals, their direction, they stop drifting.

Our Life Map Course is about self-discovery and it helps you get clear on what truly matters, understand why you feel stuck or restless. Design a path forward that feels right, not forced.

Turn vague hope into into intentional action and there's no hype or pressure, just clarity, direction and forward movement.

Now here's the truth most people never hear. You don't need to escape your life. You need to engage with it.

You don't need more distraction. You need more alignment.

You don't need more someday. You need direction right now. So ask yourself one last time. Are you building a life or just escaping the one you're in?

The moment you choose to build, everything changes and it leads to BIGG success!

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And we thank you so much today for listening. Until next time...

Here's to your BIGG success!

Find BIGG Success at BIGGsuccess.com