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In this episode of the "I Come First" podcast, host, Amie Barsky, welcomes spiritual business coach, Rachelle Raku, to explore the metamorphic power of embracing both masculine and feminine energies, and transforming anger into motivation. Rachelle shares her insights on how women can tap into their dark feminine energy to birth their dreams and navigate male-dominated spaces.

This conversation goes deep into the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions, like anger and rage, navigating relevant aspects of self-love, setting boundaries, and celebrating personal growth. Get ready to receive encouragement about embracing your sensuality and living authentically.

What We Explored This Episode

04:06 Integrating Life's Aspects for Women

05:29 Exploring the Feminine and Inner Child

15:16 The Journey from People Pleasing to Self-Discovery

16:54 Exploring the Shadow Self for Empowerment

20:11 Embracing Sensuality and Overcoming Shame

21:25 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies

22:43 Transformative Power of Expressing Anger

26:07 Transformative Power of Primal Scream Therapy

34:11 Living Your Vision Board

Memorable Quotes

“Celebrate small victories and acknowledge your growth. This is crucial, as it reminds you of the progress you've made on your journey.”

"Coming home to yourself means loving who you are and catching yourself in shame spirals, reminding yourself you're doing your best."

 "Anger is a powerful motivator. Releasing it creates space within you, allowing you to fill it with whatever you choose."

Connect with Rachelle

Rachelle’ Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/842528483158589/ 

Rachelle’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rachelleluvraku/ 

Schedule A Call With Rachelle - https://www.realignwithraku.com/book-a-call 

Connect to Spirit Call With Rachelle - https://www.realignwithraku.com/book-a-spirit 

Connect With Amie

Website: https://amiebarsky.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amie-barsky/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amiebarskycoaching/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmieBarsky?sub_confirmation=1

Download My Free Breathwork Practice

https://www.amiebarsky.com/free-breathwork

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Podcast Production & Marketing by FullCast

Dark feminine has an infinite energy. The feminine is infinite. It wants more, more, more, more, more. But it's like such a juicy, like, alive energy when we learn to harness it. It's also the most suppressed and oppressed energy on the face of the planet. When we're talking about sensuality, there's so many societal norms and rules around it, and there's so much shame and conditioning around it that it's actually wild. And it's why this energy, I personally think that energy that everybody gets to, especially as women to tap into, be able to birth the things that they want to do.

Hello, hello, and welcome to the I come first podcast, where putting yourself first is not selfish, it's self care. And self care is essential. Yes, you heard me right. Here we are flipping the script, and I'm going to show you how. I'm your host, Amie Barsky, and I'm so excited you're here. If you're tired of feeling overworked and underappreciated, this is a sanctuary where I'll share my entire journey as a guide to help you break through your patterns, limiting beliefs and societal pressures to be perfect, these juicy weekly conversations with myself and guest experts will be filled with practical tools, advice, inspiring stories, and unstoppable energy. So if you're ready, then buckle up. It's time to ignite your inner fire and make I come first your new daily mantra.

In a world where women are endlessly juggling the demands of having it all, I am thrilled to welcome Rachelle Loveraku to the I come first podcast. I'm your host, Amie Barsky, and today we are diving into unapologetic empowerment with Rachelle. She is a spiritual business coach and a mother of five who has mastered that delicate dance between the masculine and the feminine energies. Together, we'll explore how embracing your anger and rage versus suppressing it can actually propel you towards your deepest desires. And we're taking a look at the mysteries of the dark feminine and how harnessing this kind of energy can deeply transform your entire life. So get your favorite beverage, get cozy, and get ready to be inspired.

And before we jump into today's episode, here is a quick and exciting announcement.

All right. All right. We have Rachelle love Raku here today, and she is one of my favorite humans in the entire planet because she exudes joy like she is just a living, walking, breathing bubble of joy. And I just absolutely love that. So, rochelle, welcome to the Icon first podcast. Let's do a brief intro before we get to some of our delicious questions today.

My name is Rachelle Love Raku, as you just said, and I am a six figure spiritual business coach who loves helping women birth their big dreams. It's a passion of mine. It lights me all the way up. When you say joy, it's because I live and work in a field that really lets me be in the genius of who I am and also be in the play of, like, what we get to be. As humans only do big things. We'll put ourselves first and run to our big goals. Yeah, it's huge.

It is very huge. You and I have known each other for about five years now or so. I feel like we've been in each other's worlds, each other's spaces, and I have just watched you build your empire, if you will, and just blast off and support myself along the journey and just really have a good time along the way and be truth to your rawness and your realness in the same way. And I just absolutely love that about you. And I think this is what attracts you into my life. Like, I need more of a shell in my life.

So, for those who are listening today, I highly recommend that you bring this woman into your world, and we're going to dive into a juicy conversation and leave all those details at the end so you can connect with Rochelle. So, Rochelle, we often hear in this personal development world the importance of the masculine and feminine dynamics. And this is something I've been really attuning myself to in the past few years, and it has been a really beautiful ride to learn more about that. And so how can women effectively harness both energies in their personal and professional lives, particularly in a very male dominated field?

Yeah, I love that question because there is so much of that, right? Not just in the fields we're in, but in society as a whole. It's kind of been set up in the masculine for a while. Like, not until 1952 could we open bank accounts without our husband letting us do that. So it's like, they'd have to cosign for us to be able to do it. So there's also a whole lot of underlying and societal stuff that is there, but it's this dynamic of what's happening within us that we really have the ability to change, and we really have the ability to come home with and play with. And often when we play with that internally and we start to learn about it, we start to learn about what's happening, what our go to states are, what ones feel better for us, then we get to bring those back into unity. And that really helps our life flow.

When you're talking about joy, Amie, like, I like to call it radiance, right? When we have our masculine switched on and he's there for us and we're containing ourselves in a way that we feel safe because we've always got our back and we'll make room for ourselves when we need to. And our feminine can really surrender. She can be in her creative juices. She can really be passionate about the life she's living, and she can really turn her energy all the way up when she's feeling that safety. So that's what I'm talking about. Like, that juicy energy that you get to be and live and move through life in that helps every area of your life.

So it sounds like this connection to our internal, own masculine in relationship with our own internal feminine is the way to create the safety within our own bodies so that when we show up externally in our worlds and our workspaces and places that might feel male dominated, we truly get to be in that radiance of, I am here, I belong here, I bring value here, and there's no question about it.

And our femininity is like, it's a superpower, right? It is really a superpower because that's what the feminine feeds the masculine energy. And so even in those work environments that you're talking about, where there's more of a masculine dominance and the measures of success are usually more around doing which masculine energy is around doing and driving and achieving goals, creating structure. And so for business, that's a really normal energy for our businesses to be in. And the creativity aspect is such a big thing.

And it's a superpower of the feminine. And so it's actually like bringing those in as well. And I think it's a really beautiful thing, reflecting how we're shifting inside ourselves and understanding that the feminine energy has such a beautiful being state. So when I talk about feminine, it's like the being is the creativity, it's the rest and recharge as well, like being able to be able to actually relax when you switch off from work, which is, you know, when we're not getting enough of that energy, that's when we go into burnout. And so it's why it's so important that we have a look at both at all times.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I can totally resonate with everything you just said specifically around always being in my masculine for most of my life, only in the past, I'd say decade, have I been starting to shift that and learn to be in my feminine, understand that, like you said, the feminine power, there is so much love and goodness in that. And I think for me, for most of my life, I thought feminine was too soft and too sensitive because as a kid, I was told I was too sensitive. So then I just shut that part of me down. I really just blocked it out, locked it up and put it away, going, it's not safe here to express in that way. It's not accepted by society or at least in the environment that I was in.

And so, yeah, it didn't feel good. Right. And so I went down a whole other path of structure. Structure. And it was great for lots of things. Efficiency, leadership has so much value in our lives. And we get to look at, like you said, when it's time to shut work off and go be with your friends, your family, your loved ones. Can you actually do that? And for me, that was really hard at different moments in my life as well, is to learn to be like, I'm okay if I'm not always working all the time and producing something to prove my value and worth to the world.

Yeah. And, like, what you just said right then was such a big piece, right? To prove my value and worth to the world. Like, it's such a juicy piece. It's a journey I've been on. I'm sure I will continue to be on. There's always, like, things that come up where you're like, oh, wow, I am doing that again. Like, I'm looking for that external validation instead of knowing, self sourcing that I am good, I matter, and I am worthy of just being. And it's wild because we get taught so much, and it's really set up in our society to have that masculine energy be like, yep.

If you're doing all of these things, then you're loved. If you're doing all of these things, then you're acceptable member of the community. If you're doing all of these things, then check you've got it right, you know? And it's harder to measure. Like, the feminine energy is much harder to measure if you're doing it successfully or not. And so it becomes, I can't explain how I'm feeling. That's different to how I was before. And so, I mean, you might be able to explain it, you might not, right? But it's challenging to measure that thing. And we use measurement as such a big yardstick of whether we're doing life right.

Not a tangible thing, generally speaking.

Right.

It's not like, oh, here's my car. Here's my house. Here's my x, Y, and z. And you can hand something to somebody. I love this. Okay. For women who are listening right now, who might be struggling to find their voice, step into their power, what's the single most important piece of advice that you would share with them?

I love this so much because all the advice is different for everybody. But the biggest thing you can do is coming home to yourself and the trust that you can create in yourself. That's a big thing to say, is, like, what's the single thing? Because it's like, that is in itself, has so many different layers and so many things. But really, to shift this, it's about coming home and loving on yourself for who you are exactly as you are. It's catching yourself all the time. When you go into that shame spiral or that I'm guilty spiral or I've done the wrong thing, instead of going into that place, it's actually catching yourself and going, hey, like, I'm doing the best I can with the tools I have and just pouring love back into yourself.

Because when I talk about the masculine energy providing containment when we have out, and I'm going to externalize just for the example, but if our man is there and he's providing for us, like, it's okay, baby. Like, you're having a big emotional experience. And he's like, it's okay, baby. Like, let me spread the room out, get you all the tissues and the chocolate and the things. Like, they're all very, like, action steps, right? And he's creating space for you to be in that emotion. Like, that is a really big thing. That's when I talk about masculine energy, when we're doing that on an external level, instead of going in that mean girl self beat up loop, we're going, okay. You know, actually, I'm a pretty awesome person.

This thing is going to teach me. I'm going to learn from whatever it is that would just happened, or I'm going to have a look at and be like, hey, that's not actually mine. That's the other person's thing. And I get to catch myself and pour love into me. That's the biggest thing. Every time that voice comes in, that's kind of sort of self depreciating, and it's like you being mean to yourself. It's catching it and loving on yourself instead. That's how we really build that safety within ourselves. Yes.

And I feel that I can speak for myself. The perfectionist part of me gets so excited to drive the car, if you will. You know, she just wants to take the steering wheel all the time to get it right, because there's the desire to fit in, to belong, to be appreciated in all the things that we want from another human being. That sometimes that either it's the perfectionist or the people pleaser for myself that drives the bus, and sometimes it's just driving me right into the walls, because I'm not giving myself an opportunity to be held by somebody else. I'm not giving myself an opportunity.

Like a lot of my clients that I work with, they are full fledged, well practiced people pleasers. And so as a recovering people pleaser, as I like to say, I am, you know, inspiring them and guiding them towards unpacking that for themselves, because I can so relate to it, that perfectionist part of ourselves that people pleasing. I want to be so right and have everything so right and have everything so perfect. And sometimes it's just we're still human. We forget that we're human. And so I love that you mentioned the catch part, the catch and then the compassionate part.

Can I catch myself in my loop and go, oh, shit, that's the thing. That's the thing that's going to drive me into the wall. So let me catch it. Let me pour in a lot of compassion and love and appreciation for myself and start to dismantle the armor that's just around our bodies, you know, to guard ourselves and protect ourselves.

And I think there's a beautiful gentleness that gets to come along with it, right? Because we all are. I'm really lucky, as you are, too, Amie, that I get to see very intimately into hundreds and thousands of people's lives, like, very intimately the deepest, darkest things. And it's a beautiful gift because it allows me to see that we all have the same sort of things wrapped up differently, and we all feel the same about them. And I want to just leave that here because it's really important, because we had a lot of things that happen to us as children, and that's what's playing out now. And we've had to, as a child, make a choice to be able to continue to survive, to be able to continue to belong, to be able to continue to be acceptable, because otherwise we're going to be outcast as children, as small children.

Zero to seven is when most of our, like, nervous system, things are being patterned in. Most of our conditioning is being patterned in, still happens later on, but most of it is more unconscious from that level. This has been a life since then, right? And so it's slipped down out of our conscious awareness. And that's usually the thing that is driving the bus, that perfectionism. For me, I had the option. I had the, like, stuff up as the bottom, and so it was like, I need to run around and make sure I'm over the top, amazing for everybody so that they don't look constantly and see that I messed up on the inside. And so it's probably the same behavior as you, Amie, of, like, getting all the grades, like, doing all the things, but I had, like, this internal, like, I am broken. I'm not enough.

Seeing that was really, that was my main thing. So if I was so lovely to you and stepped over myself to meet your needs, then I was safe. And really, that's what we're creating. We're looking for safety. We're looking for approval. We're looking for the things that we can control. It's like, it's such a big part of our lives, but it's having that, like, love and gentleness of, like, oh, hold on. I had to create this belief when I was four and people were being angry and mean around me, and I decided I had to be quiet because then I was safe or whatever it is for you.

So it's having that tenderness of, like, catching yourself but doing it with such a, like, oh, wow, I see where that came from. Let me love a four year old who had to make a really big choice that got you to hear, with, say, enough safety that you're listening to a podcast. You know, there's. There's a certain level of you're still alive, right? And so that choice has served you up until now.

Sure. For sure. And, you know, as children, sometimes we don't have parents who have the capacity because they're in their own loops, they're in their own trauma, they're in their own B's systems that are getting in their way, and they don't have the skills or the mindfulness around it, and so therefore, they don't know what the heck to do with the child that might feel too much all the time or who might be rambunctious or who might be causing problems, you know, the rebellious type of energy in the house and things like that.

And it's fascinating and it's beautiful. And we can say, you know what? It's your parents fault. And then we can go around and go, and it's your parent parents fault and your parents parents parents fault. Like, we can just go down the lineage if we really wanted to, and play the blame game. Or we can take radical responsibility for ourselves, take full ownership of our own lives now as adults, and say, you know what? What's been going on in my life, it's not working for me. It's just not working for me. So what do I choose? How do I start to move through the blocks that are here and the things that aren't aligned, that maybe there's not clear standards or clear values or what's important to you and just start from the foundation.

And I think that's the hardest thing. Like, when you've been in the people pleaser your whole life, because you do, when you're stepping over yourself, you do forget, like, what is your values? What are your standards? Like, I remember being asked this from a counselor, like, what gets you through the day? And I was like, two to three cups of coffee, and she was asking the values question in that way, right? But because I'd spend so much of it being everything for everybody else, and I've actually lost, like, who I was. I had to go home and Google what even a value was before I could even decide. And it was wild. I laugh about that story now. I'm so deep in the work and doing it and helping people with that. But it's like, it was literally, like, that was what got me through. There was nothing else driving me. It was like, okay, I look after all these people. That's what keeps me going. But it's a slippery slope. Like, it's a slippery slope because I was just giving all of my energy out, and I was exhausted, and I was in such a dark place because I wasn't doing anything that came back to me. I was expecting it to be everybody else who filled that cup. But as an adult, just like you said, Amie, it's actually our responsibility. It's our responsibility to fill that cup.

It sure is. It sure is. And I know I played the blame game for most of my life. I was the victim. You're the villain. Being parents, and especially my mom, and that was the game I played for most of my life. I didn't actually recognize that I had choice. I didn't have that awareness of, like, oh, I get to choose now because I was so in the program of what society says you're supposed to be and feeling that pressure to get it right and get it perfect all the time. You said the word dark, which sparked a question in my mind, because we talk in our personal development world, I guess, more so in the spiritual realm. We use the words shadow.

Right?

The shadow side or the healthy side or the shadow masculine feminine. The healthy masculine feminine. And I remember not that long ago, I was at a retreat in Austin. They were asking us to play with our shadow sides and be in connection with my dark feminine and dance with it. You know, like, literally dance with it in moments and feel safe enough to go. You can express yourself. You can be seen and held and heard in all of that. And so can you elaborate on what this means and how embracing this aspect can actually empower a woman in both her personal and professional life?

When I talk about light and dark feminine, it's very much around the energetic of it. So when we talk about chakras, it's from our heart chakra up. So it's very mind based. The light feminine, it's very energies where, like, you're going off in meditation, like, you're going up and out in light feminine. Whereas dark feminine is here. It's very physical. So it's actually the term dark is really more around matter, right? So light is like. It's got a lighter energy, and dark is like, it's got a real darker. It's like, physically in our body, that kind of feminine. So when we talk about emotions, like, a dark feminine is a great space for that because it's actually our body that is expressing it. It's being in our sensuality. Like, dark feminine is very sensual. She knows who she is, and she's very passionate. Right? A dark feminine has an infinite energy.

The feminine is infinite. It wants more, more, more, more, more, more. But it's like such a juicy, like, alive energy. When we learn to harness it, it's also the most suppressed and oppressed energy on the face of the planet. Right? When we're talking about sensuality, there's so many societal norms and rules around it, and there's so much shame and conditioning around it that it's actually wild. And it's why this energy, I personally think, and this is really my ethos and what I'm here to do is, like, I really think it's that energy that everybody gets to, especially as women get to tap into. To be able to birth the things that they want to do. It is fire. Like, it is fire. It's wild, it's chaos, it's passion. Right? And the majority of us are like, yeah, we want to do that thing, but you need to be like, I'm doing the thing. You know, like, this is. There is nothing stopping me. But when you talk about shadow versus, I like to call it toxic, but it's the same shadow versus the healthy, embodied version.

There is both of that in every energy, like dark masculine and feminine. And it's beautiful. We're just talking about values because our values and our boundaries is what creates the difference between our embodied, healthy feminine dark feminine, or our shadow toxic version. So when we talk about dark feminine, the toxic version of that is, like, very manipulative. She's going to use her emotions against people. She's going to use them against herself, right? Like, she's going to create a it in the healthy, embodied, dark feminine. She's going to orchestrate what she wants. She's going to still get what she wants. I want to be really clear because the actions seem very similar. She orchestrate her experience, but she does it because people, she's so lit up in her energy that people just want to be around her.

They want to do what she does on their own volition. They want to do what it because they want to be around her energy, because that feeds them. Especially when we're talking about the masculine feminine dynamic. The masculine is devoted to the feminine. The feminine's energy feeds that masculine. And so the circle back is in devotion. And so it gets what she wants. The energy is the same, but she's so tapped into her own values and standards that it's a clean energy, even though it's very sensual.

I love that. And you're so right when we're talking about sensuality and sexuality and how there's so much shame wrapped up in that. As women, we are taught to cover ourselves and we're taught to don't feel sexy, look sexy, dress sexy, because that might cause someone else to do something, and that means we're responsible for someone else's actions. Just blows my mind away, you know? And I'm so glad. I really feel. I truly, truly feel in every ounce of my being that the world is changing in such a powerful way to start to allow women to feel that they can just express themselves, period. No ifs, ands or buts, no excuses, no reasons, no justifications. Just simply because this is how I want to express myself. And there should be no repercussions for that. There should just be simply like, oh, cool, you're going to express yourself like that. Of course, you know, in a safe and healthy way.

Yeah. In a way that really, like, empowers and affirms you in a situation where it's safe. Right? Like in a contained situation. This is why this energy is being so suppressed and oppressed, because it has such a power. And I don't want to, like, skip over the fact that there's also so much anger rage that goes with it, because for the feminine, there has been a lot of violations of that energy. And when we're talking violations, like, we're not going to skip over that, right? It's really important because it is actually important part, and one of the fastest ways for you to actually access the dark feminine is it's actually go into your anger, your rage.

Like, there's a lot of, especially if you're doing, like, womb work or just accessing these parts of yourself, because it's been suppressed and oppressed, not just here, but we know that our DNA has memories, right? If you take an organ out of one person and you transplant to another, there's plenty of cases where the new person has memories of the old person. So it's scientific fact now rate that our DNA has that holographic memory. So when we're talking about human history, we have so many examples in our lineage of how that energy has been made bad or suppressed or oppressed, but the reason why it has been is because of its power.

And we get to tap into that in our lifetime. And the fastest way is actually to coming into terms with the anger and the rage that's there, that the majority of us are like, no, no, I'm not an angry person. Especially as women. Like, we're like, no, no, definitely not. But, like, anger is the most motivating, the most beautiful. Like, Amie, we work in places together where we get to let people actually express and, like, go to the full range of that energy. I know for me, like, when I go to the full range, it feels like God to me inside my body.

It literally is such a good feeling to say, I am going to give myself permission to actually feel this anger, this rage. And when you unleash that beast that we all have, we all have access to this once it's unleashed one for me, there's such a lightness that happens. And when I was doing a process with a client the other day, she was just going for it. I mean, I just, you know, we built a safe enough space for her to just bring it on. Like, just bring it full on. And when she was done, she just felt like a brand new person. She was like, who am I?

I just feel so different in my body. I feel like I'm not so heavy. So, you know, and so it's definitely powerful to tap into that rage, that anger. And if you're listening and you've said to yourself, oh, again, kind of, like, similar to what Rochelle said, oh, I don't have any anger. No, no, no, no. The invitation is to try, just literally try, put on some crazy song that just gets your blood going and pumps you up and just go and punch some pillows and just see what happens, because you don't know until you try it on 100%.

And look, when you have been so disconnected from your anger, which a lot of us have, it's really normal that it takes a little bit. I highly recommend going touching pillows. There's some great tracks that you can really play with, with anger, and I highly recommend it. Like, going and saying, hey, I'm feeling angry about this. You don't even have to really name it. Like, you can actually just go there and see what happens. But also, sometimes it's.

You're not ready to go that far. And so maybe it's writing it out, but it's really about getting the energy that's inside of your body, outside of your body in some way. So maybe it's grabbing a piece of paper and a red pen and just scribbling, like, scribbling all over the page with passion so much that you're, like, the pen kind of rips up the page as you're going. Like, really get into it, you know? And then even in the movement of that space, you might then want to, like, thrash your arms around. I love getting a pillow and pushing and pulling with it. Like, there's something about the push pull energy and pushing people away that's really does something for my nervous system, and it's such a beautiful place.

I like to call them tante dates. A tantrum date. So I have a tante date with myself. Like, I get ahead of it in my. I call it my sacred rage. I get ahead of that because it was popping out all over the place before. I was really good at passive aggressive. I was really good at putting little snippets in. I was really good at just being angry. Like, the place I could tell if I'm most centered or not is if I'm in a car park like that, for some reason, I'm a whole other woman. If people drive really slow to find a car park, I'm like a whole other woman. Right.

And so I can tell where I'm at and if I'm ahead of the game or not by the what happens on the internal thing. So there's going to be an area of your life where it, like, acceptable enough for you to feel that anger. And you'll be able to feel a snippet of it, but that will probably show you, like, there is something.

Yeah, I love that you use an example as the car park or for me it's traffic. You know, I used to be such an aggressive driver. Like aggressive and entitled. Like, get the fuck out of my way. Why are you going so slow? Why are you in the left lane? Don't you know any better? You're so stupid. Like, judgmental af. And I noticed as I've been doing this work and as I've been allowing my own rage and anger in a safe place to feel released and, you know, on the outside of my body, nothing be carrying it anymore. I don't really have those issues when I drive anymore. I just go, okay, you want to go over? I'm just going to go over here. Then you do you. You know what I mean? But it's so true that such a measurement of, like, where you're at on the emotional scale of, like, volcano wanting to explode or like, no, I'm doing really well today.

Yeah. And it's a beautiful, safe space. I love a good primal scream while I'm driving. If something's, like, worked me up, this is a great way to get it out. My kids and I all do it together. I've got one child who's auditorily, she gets overstimulated. So literally we will pull over, she jumps out of the car, we all scream, and then we're like, hey, babe, hop back in. And then we'll just keep driving because we just get to let the energy out. We spend so much time bottling it in and putting it in that it's like, it's exhausting holding in that big energy.

And Jessica spending like 30 seconds screaming at the top of your lungs or two minutes punching something, like, it releases so much more than just like, the physical movement of the energy. Like, it's the not needing to hold it anymore. When you talk about the lightness, it's like, oh, now I create space within me and I can fill it with whatever I want. If you want to feel it with more rage because you're fired up about something, do it. Anger is the most motivating emotion. If you want to get something done, get angry about it, get passionate about it.

And I really want to emphasize, you said, you know, two to three minutes, 30 seconds. Like, it doesn't take a massive 3 hours out of my day to go through these whole, it doesn't need to be that. It can be something so simple as you know what, I've got three minutes in between X Y and z XYz. Let me get that pen out and just let it go on the page.

Give yourself that permission slip and make the space. If you gave yourself five minutes of self care, and one of them included 30 seconds of primal screaming, like, what a difference your day is going to be. And I think sometimes we have this impression or head that has to be this whole long, drawn out experience, and it really doesn't. It's the maintenance, you know? Yes. I encourage coaching and learning the processes first. Yes. But once you have the tools in your toolbox, like, that's the gift.

That's the gift you get to walk away with after you coach with somebody, hopefully that's trained, you know, an expert in somatics and all of this yummy nervous system work. It's that game of, here's a bunch of tools and I can pull one out of my pocket and use it whenever I need it and then maintenance my body. Maintenance my nervous system so that I can be in the world going, oh, I'm giving from love and excitement and joy and passion, not from regret or resentment or anger or frustration, because I'm supposed to, you know, and so it's that game for me that I've been playing and it's so much fun.

It's such a beautiful place to be in and coming home to yourself.

Yeah. And I love that you're saying the word coming home to yourself, really being back in your body and feeling safe in your body and feeling good and feeling vibrant and feeling alive and feeling like, whoa, I can give out love because I've got something to give that's just illuminated inside of me and it's just pouring out effortlessly.

Rachelle, you mentioned, you know, you've got kids, I know you've got five beautiful humans and you've got a career and you've got responsibilities and you've got a beautiful spiritual practice. And there's so many women that desire something similar. What's a practical way to start to integrate these different aspects of our lives that can feel so separate? I feel like for a lot of women, how can they start to integrate, to bring it into one place of, like, I welcome myself home wholly.

Yeah. And I think this is the thing because we. We love it to be a big, grandiose gesture and you do this one thing and then it's done. Right. And I'm not saying that can happen. Right. Like that can happen. There can be moments in your life where you're like, whoa, I had a moment in one of Amie's breath work and I birthed in the breath work and I, like, had this, like, baby here and it was like, just this honoring of myself, right? And so it can be those moments where you really come home in the one, but it's really just about catching yourself all the time with love. It's like catching all the times where you're actually being mean to yourself.

Like, even in the anger piece, having a tool where you, like, go and you really allow that energy to be moved. And then instead of being like, oh, my God, I'm so angry. Like, look at how much energy that is in my body. Like, look how amazingly, like, warrior esque I am right now, you know? And because we've been taught, we're taught so much to look for the bad and to look for the things that are wrong, and it's, like, wired into our nervous system. So our joyous is to constantly catch that and not make ourselves bad when we catch it. Just meet yourself in love in every moment and be like, oh, it's Bey. Why are that pattern is there?

Like, I can see. I can see that it happened when I was a child or that's always been there and loving that part of ourselves in that pattern, all of our beliefs and patterns that are, like, here and nagging at us, they just genuinely want to be loved. I like to see them as, like, our little inner children and they're, like, trying to get, mom, mom, I need your attention. And we kind of go, nope, that doesn't exist. No, I'm going to leave that over here. Or we just, like, use it without even thinking. It's actually, like, a part of ourselves that we get to go, oh, I see why you're here. And choose effectively, like, choose if it's effective for me or not.

Like, as the woman I am, do I let that part of myself who's obviously got some stuff happening, do I let them run the show? But it's from a place of, like, they're here as well, so we're going to love them and hold them and take them on the journey with us rather than being like, you need to go over there in the corner and cry over there when you're good, you know?

Yeah, I'm going to kind of shift a little bit of a gear here around sometimes, and I've said this to myself many times and two coaches that I work with, like, why is this here again? Like, I feel like I'm in the same spot or I feel so frustrated that thought I was over this kind of energy. And, you know, when I got to learn about myself and what I help my clients with is there are layers to it all. So can you really say that you're back where you were?

Can you really, honestly, is that actually truth? And then of course, they're like, no, it's not actually true. Right? And then I go, okay, great. And then so we start to close the gap of what they did learn between then and now, and that this is simply another layer and we get to work through that now.

And I think that's the biggest thing that we get sold in this kind of coaching spiritual world is like, oh, you do the work and then it's done. Oh, hell no. That thing might be your dharma. And it's actually how we tell we've grown or not is how we be with that rather than if it's here or not. Because as we're growing and even, even the fact that you have awareness of it shows you you're in a different place than when it was just doing you and you were just in it and you didn't know it was happening. Right.

And then you went and got some help and then you were like, oh, yes, this pattern is here, right? So there's that identifying stage that if you're already aware that the pattern's coming up again, you're in a totally different space. You're seeing it from a totally different space, and that's your growth. Like, that is what you've done. It's some of the things that we have are probably going to be things that we dance with for the rest of our lives, but it's not a good marketing self. And so most people say, like, oh, you know, this is going to be fixed in this. We're going to work together and we'll fix that entirely because it's better marketing than right.

We're going to work together and then it will come back in a month, and then you'll be have a different way to deal with that. Right. So it's a beautiful thing to recognize our growth in things and the very fact that it comes up in your awareness. This is my big thing that's really landing for me at the moment is the very fact that it's coming up in your awareness because you're already stepped into that new way of being that you're desiring and you're being shown it because it's the choice now to continue stepping into the new way of being or to go back and have a look at that pattern. So that pattern is being shown to you. It's being revealed.

And honestly, when you recognize the pattern, the final thing is the choice. Am I going to choose the same pattern, or am I going to choose something else? And when we choose the same pattern, because it's what I did for a long time, even though I had some awareness around, I was still choosing, and the only person we can get mad at then is ourselves. Like, there's no one else to blame. Like, I had no one left to blame except for myself. And I was like, oh, shit. Okay, okay. You know, and I can't remember who said this.

Yeah.

And I just felt so, like, oh, my God. And the life that I designed then in my brain was like, there's just no way. But in my heart, I was like, this is possible. This is what's going to happen. And I'm writing all these things down, and I'm like, okay, now what do I get to do to create this, to bring it into my reality instead, step by step, day by day, month by month, I just kept going and going. And here I am today for the most part, living that life.

Sure.

Are there tweaks and other things I desire now? Absolutely.

Of course. Right? That's the beauty of being the feminine. We get to, like, re choose all the time. And Amie, like, I had that moment when I was flying over to do the workshop, and I'm in the plane, I'm traveling internationally to do the thing that I love. Right? Like, to do it. And I, like, literally sobbed on the plane for, like, I'd say, a solid hour of just, I'm living my vision board. Like, I am living this thing that when I wrote it down, it seemed so far away. It seemed like I didn't even know how to make that happen.

And I did it at the time. Right? Like, I didn't. I knew what I loved, and I knew the action steps to take from that moment. But there was a lot of, like, I just take a little bit, and the rest kind of reveals itself after that. But I just had this, like, whoa. I have dreamed this into existence. And it's not just dream because I took a hell of a lot of action. I made a lot of aligned choices to that, and it was just. Just like, wow. Like, just really letting it land.

Because I think that's one of the other things we really get to do, is stop every now and then and be like, I'm pretty cool. Like, I actually made this happen. We often have such big visions that we want to get to, like, the end thing that we forget to stop and go, oh, my God, like, look at me, I'm doing the thing that I said I would. Yeah. Pat myself on the back, right? It's such an important part of this.

It really is. And honestly, celebration was a massive game changer for me, massive game changer for my life, because I didn't know that that was a thing. And when we have a, you know, we have a coach in common that we work with often when that was infused into my daily practices to not just being gratitude, but a celebration of what is and what's going on. And just my whole body was like, what is happening?

And it was felt very awkward and weird and strange at first, but the more I practiced it, it's just a word. I talk to my clients all the time. I'm like, celebrating this about you celebrating that. And they're like, why do you keep using that word? Share with them the importance to celebrate what is and how far you've come already? Because we're always looking ahead and chasing that carrot over here that that's preventing us from going, holy crap, my life's pretty freaking awesome. I've come a long way.

I'm going to invite your users more. When you get up and you get dressed, I love you to get dressed in the energy of, like, I've arrived. I want you to dress, like, in the most delightful thing that you have, the thing that you wear, and you're like, I feel so good about who I am in this outfit. And walk and be in your life as if you've fully arrived and you've at your destination and you've achieved all of the things that you want to achieve.

Like, actually drop into that. Like, how would you move? How would you feel? Like, who are you going to talk to on a day like that and actually, like, really play with being in that energy now? Because that's the secret sauce. When we talk about celebration, that's the secret sauce, right?

That's very much the secret sauce. And so I was going to ask you the next thing was what could be a practice they could start. So there's the practice right there. If you're listening tomorrow, put your pants on, one leg at a time, or put your skirt on or put your dress on and step in and allow that to illuminate from the inside out what's possible, and I promise you, it will change how you speak and interact with people, how you interact and speak with yourself.

Like, I'm not talking about the physical article of clothing. I'm talking about the choice of aliveness, the choice of radiance, the choice of vibrancy, the choice of, like, I have arrived. I am here, and I'm worthy, period. And that will definitely shift your day in a different way.

I highly encourage on this day that every time you enter a door, like, do it with a sweeping arm action of, like, I am here. You know, like, announcing with your energy that you have arrived into the room and everybody is going to watch you, like, play with your energy. Like, even when you. You know, if you're going to do the shopping, like, how would you pick up an orange if you were in your most, like, divine, sensual self that has whatever it is that you're stepping into, right?

But if you're wanting to turn that sensuality up, like, how would you pick up the orange? How would you shop? How would you walk? How would you hold thing, like, in your arrived state? Like, how do you hold yourself? How would you pick up and play with ordinary items? Like, what energy would you bring to that?

I love it.

Well, we do have to wrap this conversation up, and I know we could go on all day long, so I feel like there was so much we covered in this. You know, there was lots of juiciness around the feminine, the light and the dark, the shadow, the dancing with the feminine, that dark feminine, and the allowance of that sensuality, that expression and the inner child and the tenderness that we get to be with ourselves.

And, of course, you know, arriving right here with all the in betweens to ownership of, ah, I have arrived. I am here, walking in the door. I love it. I love it. So thank you, Rochelle, so much for all of this that you've shared, all of yourself that you share with the world. How can people find you? The best way.

The best way to find me is probably on Instagram with Rachelle Raku. Double L E. Love. L U V N. Raku R A K U. I would love to hear about you, and I'd love you to contact me and let me know how your day of radiance went. Like how your dance in the I've arrived energy really went down because it's a beautiful thing to be in and a beautiful gift to give yourself.

And you deserve beautiful things. You deserve to feel like you really, truly matter. And so thank you for having me. Amie. This has been beautiful and I love what you're doing and bringing people back onto themselves in love. Right? It's such a big, such a big thing and a gift that you are to the world. So thank you.

Thank you so much. Rochelle's information will be in the show notes. Go. Please send her a beautiful message. DM her. She is just such a bright light in my own life and I truly encourage you to bring her into your life as well. She'll be just a joyride the entire time. All right, Rochelle, until next time everyone. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Much love and we'll see you soon. Thanks for tuning into today's episode.

I know your time is valuable and I'm so grateful that we get a chance to share this space together. If you're wanting more from myself or any of my guests right now, I am a hell yes to that. I love your enthusiasm, so let's make it happen. Simply check out the links in the show notes for all the information on the latest offerings, programs, and possibilities to connect outside this space. Or feel free to send me a DM Instagram Amiebarskycoaching and of course, if you have any reflections or feedback, I am all ears.

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