None of us can resolve every conflict, repair every division or carry responsibility for the darkness of the whole world. But we can pay attention to the choices available to us in the next conversation, the next disagreement, the next difficult moment.

In this Insights episode, I return to my conversation with Jo Berry CBE, and to one of the ideas that struck me most strongly: the difference between condemning harmful actions and denying someone’s humanity.

Jo’s work does not offer an easy answer to conflict, division or trauma. Nor does she suggest that everyone should follow the path she has taken. What she does offer is a place to start.

What might change if, in difficult moments, we became a little less certain and a little more curious? What if we could hold on to our values without closing ourselves off completely to another person’s story? And what happens to us when hatred, judgment or righteousness begin to shape who we become?

Drawing on Jo’s work with Patrick Magee, young people in Belfast, and people affected by conflict in Ukraine and Kosovo, I reflect on the idea that rehumanising another person is not about excusing harm. It can also be about protecting and deepening our own humanity.

Perhaps the work begins there: not with believing we can change the whole world, but with noticing what happens in us when we meet difference, conflict or pain — and what we choose to do next.

In this episode, I explore:

• why certainty can feel so seductive in an uncertain world
• the difference between disagreement and dehumanisation
• why curiosity does not require us to abandon our values
• how one conversation can create an opening for something different
• what Jo means by choosing responses that deepen rather than diminish our humanity
• how these choices connect with the way we live our legacy

The question I was left with was a simple one: when the next difficult moment comes, will the response I choose deepen my humanity or diminish it?

For more information about my new programme - Celebrate YOU!

https://bookme.name/MissionUnstoppable/lite/celebrate-you-tell-me-more

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About your host

Sue Revell is a personal leadership coach, independent celebrant and the founder of Life, Love & Legacy. She helps people navigate defining moments, express what matters most and create lives and ceremonies that feel unmistakably their own.

Through meaningful conversations, personally crafted ceremonies and her I Gotta Be Me coaching work, Sue explores identity, belonging, purpose and the legacy we create while we’re still living.