This episode dives deep into the journey of Keith Whitaker, a man who has navigated a complex upbringing shaped by family dynamics and personal challenges.

We explore how his early life, marked by a parental split and the need for independence at a young age, laid the groundwork for his resilience. Keith shares heartfelt insights about the importance of genuine relationships and the role of mentorship in his life, highlighting how his mother’s values influenced his approach to parenting and personal growth.

The conversation touches on the challenges of being a father in today’s world, where balancing protection and independence for his children is key.

Ultimately, we reflect on what it means to have a warrior spirit—overcoming life's obstacles with grace and strength while cherishing the blessings of each day.

Takeaways:

• Overcoming life's challenges is essential; every setback can lead to growth and resilience.
• Keith Whitaker emphasizes the importance of unconditional love in family relationships.
• Life experiences shape us; Keith's tumultuous childhood taught him to appreciate stability and happiness.
• The journey of self-discovery involves making choices that align with personal values and goals.

You can connect with Keith on FB: https://www.facebook.com/kwhitvan

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence Found in the flame now wear my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within welcome.

Back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Daryl Snow.

Let's dive in every once in a while.

You're very lucky to come across someone that you just know is a genuine good person.

And I had that good fortune a few months ago to meet this gentleman, Keith Whitaker.

He's a family man.

He's a father, he's a husband.

He's a just an all around good guy.

And I'm just really excited that he's agreed to join us today.

And, you know, thanks for joining me, Keith.

You know, how are you doing?

Good.

How are you?

I'm doing really good, thank you.

You are number 149.

So we're coming up on the 150th guest.

So thank you for.

Almost made it.

Almost made it.

Yep.

But I appreciate that you and I met.

We actually met at a. I don't want to say a concert.

Concert.

Yeah.

It wasn't really a concert.

It was, you know, someone.

Just a venue.

Just a venue singing.

But you and your, your friends and your wife, you know, seating was limited, so we had open space at the table we were at.

And, you know, you sat down and got to talking.

Well, I got to shouting because the music was a little loud.

Yeah.

But I just really felt that you're, you know, I felt a genuine person that you are and the good person you are.

So I really appreciate, you know, coming here and sharing your story.

We're both currently in Arizona.

Where did you grow up?

Oh, that's a.

That's a tough one.

I spent a good portion of my early childhood in Michigan City, Indiana.

And then most of my teenage years were in Central Valley, California, a town called Atwater in Merced.

So what, what caused you to.

To move around and why was where you grew up kind of a tough?

Well, initially, I. I was born in Okinawa, Japan.

My dad was in the Air Force.

And we came back to the states when I was two months old.

And I think he finished out within a year, moving back to his hometown, Michigan City.

And when I was about nine, my parents had divorced, so he moved down to Florida and my mom moved to California.

They just couldn't get far enough away from each other without leaving the Country.

Right.

And then I left California to pursue actually getting into architecture here in Arizona and had been here ever since.

That was in 97.

So do you have siblings or were you an only child?

No, I've got a older brother.

He still lives in California.

So did you both end up with your mother and.

Or did this.

Okay, Yeah, I went to live with my dad for a little bit there, but that didn't last very long.

A, Florida sucks and B, so did his wife.

So it was an easy choice to get out of there.

How old were you when you were trying to figure that part out?

I had just.

I think it was right about 13.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, the parental split, I mean, with them being an entire country apart, how often did you get to see your dad then, growing up?

Actually, I hadn't, I hadn't seen him again.

So I, I went and visited him.

I think it was the first summer after they split.

Yeah, I think that's right.

It was 89.

No, I'm sorry, it was the second summer.

89.

I went out and visited him and then when I saw him when I was 13, I hadn't seen him again because we actually, my mom had moved us out there.

She was trying to get him to pay the support.

And back then with there not really being an Internet and things were just so disconnected, it was hard to get that enforced.

So on legal recommendation, they told her would be easier if she was in the same state.

So we up and moved to Florida.

That was when I was about 14.

Yeah.

And lived there for a little bit.

And I was trying to remember.

I didn't see him then either.

So I think the next time I saw him is when he came out to visit.

And that was in 98.

Yeah, I was living with my then girlfriend, now wife.

So you went most of your childhood not seeing your father?

Yeah, they split when I was 9, approaching 10.

Yeah.

So throughout your teenage years and high school years.

Yep.

Did your mom remarry during that time or was it just you and your, your sibling?

No, she didn't remarry till 94.

So it was.

I mean, at that point I wasn't even living with her.

I've been living on my own since I was 15.

So let's explore that for a second.

Because 15 year olds don't typically start living on their own.

What, what precipitated the need?

Because if a 15 year old's living on their own, there's usually a need.

What precipitated the need for you to, to do that?

Well, she had met.

She started working for this business owner in Merced Gotcha Music center, and her and the owner started dating.

And at that time, I was, you know, still young and being the typical teenager, you, you know, you're not the best version of yourself.

And I think he probably felt like maybe he didn't want that, you know, trouble or, you know, this was something where things are great.

He's met this person he loved and he didn't want to introduce me into the scenario.

And I've always been really independent, so I just was fine with it.

You know, my mom wanted to live with him and, and she was going to continue to, you know, pay for a place for me to stay.

And so we just kind of had that lifestyle.

And how old are you?

The oldest of the two?

No, I'm the youngest.

You're the youngest.

So how old was your, your, is it your brother or your sister?

My brother.

He was 18.

Okay.

So at that time, I actually didn't even.

Neither my mom or I knew where he was.

So you kind of had some major dysfunction within the house.

You had some major dysfunction outside the house because your father wasn't around either.

So how does a 15 year old navigate.

I married a woman who had three children and they were a part of the package deal.

Like, I didn't get to just say, hey, I like you, but I don't like your kids.

Like they were part of a package deal.

And then when I divorced her, actually, my youngest daughter is still my daughter today.

I came into her life when I was 2, and, you know, she's still my daughter today, even though I've long since divorced her mom.

And then my wife had a child from a previous marriage.

My current wife had a child from a previous marriage.

And, you know, that child is now like my son.

You know, again, I didn't get to just say, hey, I like you, but I don't really want to deal with your kid.

Even though he's, you know, 24.

I'm, you know, he's old enough to be on his own.

I don't need to deal with him.

That just never occurred to me.

So how does a, how does your mom say, I'm not a package deal?

And baby, how does a young man, young boy navigate that mentality?

There's, I mean, there's a lot to answer that question because there's, you know, so many years of what happened before that to my mother.

You know, everybody's got their, their own demons that they're, they're dealing with and, and Their struggles.

You know, her, her father wasn't the best father and then her husband wasn't the best husband.

He beat her, he abused her verbally, physically.

Her self worth was nil.

Right.

So I, you know, I chalk it up to, there's a 15 year old whose mom wants to basically give him his freedom to go be happy with somebody.

And you want to see your mother happy, so it's really a no brainer when you're at that age.

It's like, oh, I get my freedom, she gets to be happy.

And this is a good scenario.

Looking back on it now, you go, holy crap, I would never do that to my kids in a million years.

They would be, you know, but we've got our children, you know, very blessed with the, the lifestyle that they've got in it.

It's one of those things where the, the journey that put you on that path, you make those decisions based on where you are and, and what life's handing you.

Right.

And I've always kind of been a people pleaser.

I, I still am notoriously people pleaser.

And so making my mom happy, that was, you know, an easy choice.

But like I said, it was.

You're 15 years old and your mom says, oh, I'm gonna move out and you're gonna stay here.

What do you think of that?

Of course I could do whatever I want.

Sure.

So how does a, how does a 15 year old navigate life at that point?

Because yes, we all have our demons and we all have the things to wrestle with, but a 15 year old left to his own devices can go horribly wrong or really right.

And.

Yeah, and somewhere in the middle there.

Yeah, I mean, on the front end of, was a lot of fun.

You know, my, my friends had a place where we could party and do whatever we want and.

But eventually, you know, you, you start to go and especially at that age.

And there was a lot of, you know, a lot of partying.

So having just the, the trials and tribulations of, of becoming an adult, going through the teenage years that, you know, that's already complicated and not knowing that and adding partying into it just compounded the complexities of it.

Right.

But you start to realize, like, your friends are just your friends, they're not your family.

You start to realize you're alone.

And now you've kind of put yourself in this position and maybe you start to even start to feel like, well, what's, you know, what's the point in all this?

So it, it got dark at one point where I just Was I was going 150 miles per hour and, and waiting for the wall.

But I had, I, I think I had break a breaking point where I had a. I had a dream.

A friend of mine showed up at the house and he was telling me another friend of mine was looking for me for something and he showed up with a gun.

And I remember turning to run away from him and I heard the shots and I felt the shots and I woke up like in a cold sweat.

And that was the, that was the day that I was like, I gotta get out of here.

And I, I literally packed up, moved and kind of set myself on the path of no longer going down the wrong path.

And how old were you when that epiphany happened?

I was 17.

So a couple years into the wrong direction and then a startling wake up call, literally.

Right, so who mentored you as a young boy?

Because you know, life is hard enough, especially when you're partying and on your own, but to turn it around.

Like, who mentored you to help you find something better?

I mean, my, my mom definitely instilled good values.

She's a great role model in, in the aspect of putting other people's needs before her own.

Caring about people.

You don't do things because it's self serving, do things because it's right.

I grew up, believe it or not, in a, in a religious household.

My father being Lutheran and my mom being a Baptist.

So there was a lot of, you know, biblical reasonings of what's right and what's wrong and damnation and all that stuff.

And I don't know if that ever really weighed on me.

I don't know that I ever really believed in eternal damnation.

I mean, that's an argument my mother and I had one time that, you know, I told her I didn't believe in hell.

And you know, she, she told me she'd pray for me.

And I said, well, I don't need you to pray for me.

I just believe that, that that's a.

In the cards.

So.

Remind me your question.

I think I got a little lost.

No, that's okay.

I was just trying to figure out who mentored you into a better path.

You know, I, I mean there's definitely a lot of her, but I've always kind of, I don't know, I've always just kind of had an inner voice that has told me that I wanted to be good.

Right.

I think, I hope everybody has that.

Yeah, right from wrong is, you know, should be innate.

It's not always but when you grow up in tumultuous life's like you and I both experienced, mom was, you know, someone that took her anger out on my sister and I, and, you know, we had a tumultuous upbringing.

But, you know, we don't tend to think of the tumultuous nature as being, you know, an outlet for the goodness.

We tend to, you know, find it either destroys us or builds us.

And.

And for you, it sounds like it built you into a better and better person.

Can I ask you, you said you were born in Okinawa.

Is your mother Japanese?

No.

No, they were just stationed there.

Okay, so.

So you didn't have the culture of the Japanese culture growing up either?

No, I would have liked to.

That would have been.

Yeah, that would have been great.

Yeah.

So as a.

As a teenager, what became your aspiration?

What did you want out of life, coming from where you were?

I. I've always been an artist.

I've always just loved to be able to take something from nothing and make it beautiful, make it something else.

So that.

That's always kind of been in my wheelhouse.

I knew I wanted to do something creative, and I.

When I.

When I turned things around, I had moved up to the Bay Area, the northern San Francisco area, with the intent to either go to the art academy or something along those lines.

So I. I think I knew that I wanted to be able to take something I was passionate about and make a living off of it so that I could enjoy what I'm doing.

It's a goal I think we all, you know, desire.

Like, none of us want to, you know, labor intensively for stuff that we don't enjoy.

So, you know, the fact that you were able to actually fulfill part of that is, you know, it's not as common as it should be.

You know, I mean, I grew up in a very small town in the Midwest, in Iowa, and I bet I could go back to that same town 40 years after I've left it, and there's still the same people sitting on the same bar stool complaining about the same job that they had when I left.

You know, fear stops some people from actually, you know, exploring their dreams and building.

You know, but fear, success can be a crippling effect.

Yeah.

So you were able to at least head in a direction that, you know, was something you were passionate about, that you love along the way.

Somewhere along the way, you met your.

Your wife.

How did you.

Tell me.

So actually, when I moved out here, I moved out here with a woman that had been dating for A couple years and I came out here for school.

She didn't really have aspirations to go to school in California.

She was, you know, going to go anywhere.

So we came out here and things didn't work out with us and we, we separated and wasn't even a week I went out with some guys that I worked with.

Not knowing the area, they said, oh, we'll go down to Mill.

I was like, okay, whatever that is.

And so we were, we were walking down Mill and we were at the corner of Mill and like Fifth Avenue.

And there's this woman standing there that I just immediately locked eyes on her.

And one of the guys in the group also saw her and said that, you know, whatever he felt he needed to say to try to get her attention, so I just gracefully kind of backed away.

And so later on that evening, we were at a, a club called the Eclipse and I had gone up on the dance floor and she had walked up and, and grabbed me and started dancing with me.

We've been dancing ever since.

That's hilarious.

How many years now?

We've been together 28 years and married 21.

And ironically enough, she's Asian, correct?

Yep.

So you were born in Okinawa and, and you know, the love of your life happened to be Asian.

That's, that's.

And I'm gonna bring this picture up real quick.

This is you and your beautiful family.

It is you, your wife and, and two boys.

How old are your boys?

So My oldest is 20 and the youngest is 13.

And what is the 20 year old out doing now?

He's actually working on becoming an electrician.

So.

And what does your wife do?

She works for a semiconductor company.

Okay.

She's in their billing department.

So beautiful life that you guys are building for each other.

And your son, your youngest son, what is his aspiration?

What does he want to go do?

He doesn't know yet.

He's still, you know, maneuvering through his teenage years.

He just started on that path.

He recently got into wrestling, is his PE coach, is the wrestling coach for Osimhen and told him, you know, you need to come and, and joined the wrestling team.

And he did great.

He got city.

Unfortunately he, he rolled his ankle really good during PE and couldn't finish out his season.

But he's excited to get into club.

So we're going to be getting into that soon and see how that goes.

Were you big into athletics when you were a kid?

No, I, Well, I, I tried out for football, but I was, I was small for my freshman year in high school.

I was 4, 10.

And then I did go out for wrestling, and I did.

I liked wrestling.

I had a friend Tim and a friend Elvis that I loved, you know, sparring with them.

But two weeks into wrestling, I started getting, like, swollen lymph nodes, and they took a bunch of blood trying to figure out what was going on.

Thought I had Hodgkin's disease.

About a week before I went under the knife, they realized it was mono.

And so I. I never even really got to get into wrestling.

Most of my athletics have been rec stuff.

I played softball for years with friends of ours, and then just anything actively I like to do.

My wife likes to say that I'm just naturally athletic.

I never really had to practice that stuff to be decent.

I wouldn't say that I'm good, but, you know, I can hold my own.

When I was in, I. I was born in Minneapolis and raised in Iowa.

So I came from the inner city down to farm country, and all the farm boys were way bigger, you know, doing farm work and farm chores and whatever, and, you know, so every single year, because I was one of the smallest in my class, and every single year, one of the bigger kids would want to fight one of the littler kids, which was me.

And so I, you know, I had to.

I was in a fight from fourth grade all the way up until my junior year of community college, you know.

So.

Were you picked on a lot as a smaller child?

I.

No, not really.

I. I never really tolerated it.

And I wasn't, you know, I wasn't afraid of people.

And.

And when I got into high school, my.

My brother, who, you know, he.

He's got a long history of bad choices.

Him and a friend of his one day were throwing fireworks at these girls.

I remember this day vividly because I stayed home from school sick.

And I remember it was about time that high school was releasing and my brother would be home soon, so I was going to pretend I was asleep.

So I'm laying on the couch and the door busts open, and he's bawling his eyes out, trying, and there's just blood all down the front of him and what's going on?

And his.

His front tooth was gone.

And this guy Jimbo, believe it or not his name was Jimbo, who was the cousin of one of the girls that him and his friend were throwing fireworks at, came up to him after school and just literally one punch knocked his tooth out, broke the bone.

And after that, my brother started working out, and he.

He became the person that nobody Wanted to mess with.

So when I came into high school, you know, he already had a reputation, so nobody really messed with me.

But anybody that, you know, would engage with me, I, you know, I, I like to joke around.

I, I, I'm constantly telling people, you know, it's all in fun.

I like to make fun.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you're taking life too seriously and, oh, you don't like me.

Like, no, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't talk to you.

You know, that's, I, I don't, I don't go out of my way to try to hurt people.

I, if I don't like you, then it's not worth my time.

I'm just going to go on to the next person.

So, yeah, I never really had to deal with anybody trying to pick on me or start fights with me.

Yeah, that's.

I wish I could, I wish I'd had a, a bigger brother, you know, to take some.

Well, I mean, they do a number on you.

Well, that's true.

I remember my, I remember in seventh or eighth grade, him, and I got it.

He, I mean, he would constantly just try to, you know, get me to do things, and I, me being me, wouldn't put up with it.

And there was one time he, like, grabbed me by my head and, like, threw me across the apartment and ripped out a chunk of hair out of the back of my head.

And I used to have to, like, try to comb it so that it was covered up.

And one day we had a fire drill, and I guess the hair split right there.

And this girl's all, you got a bald spot in your head.

And started, you know, laughing and talking about it and.

Yeah, so they, you know, they do their own damage.

Yeah, that's true.

My, when my, when my mom married my stepdad, his son was six weeks older than I was.

So I got the same, like.

And then when we got to be 16, my father said, you guys are too big for this.

You need to knock it off.

So my, my brother would get his friends to then fight me because he couldn't.

Fun family dynamics, you know?

Right.

I mean, I had a couple instances where, you know, people tried to start stuff, and I had one kid that punched me in the face, and I just kind of laughed at him because I was like, my brother hits way harsh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're hitting less than my brother does.

This is fun.

This is not gonna, it's not gonna go well for you.

There's not even a point.

So if we were to look back because I met you on a whim, just by circumstance and you know, like I said in the intro, great heart, fun, outgoing guy, you know, really could tell you're the genuine person, you know, that you are and that you've spoke about, you know, on today.

But if somebody were to, who knew you back when.

Who's Keith today versus who Keith was at that 15 year old first on his own.

Much more informed.

Right.

I mean, that's not to say that there's not things that I may be slightly naive about, but I'm definitely less naive about things than I was then.

I mean, even over the past five years, I kind of hardened myself a little bit against people that.

Very trustworthy to a fault.

And you know, I, I had an instance where something happened that just kind of shunned me from, I guess, being so trustworthy.

I mean, I'm still friendly and still who I am, but I think I'm a little less or maybe a little more apprehensive about taking people into the fold.

Right.

You know, I guess when you get hurt by the people you love most, it already kind of hardens you, so you just are ready to accept that.

But when it happens again and it is such a long time since it had happened at that level, you, you realize, oh, you know, it's, it can do just as much damage.

Right?

Yeah.

When the, and if it was especially, I mean, it.

You didn't go into detail, but it sounds like it was someone close who, who that happened.

Yeah.

I mean, people we broke bread with, you know, it's.

You had them in your house and for, for the most part they felt like family, Right?

Yeah.

But then they, they wind up being version of the person you didn't think they were.

Yeah.

So how.

Trying to figure out how to ask you this.

So as a trusting individual who sees goodness everywhere and embraces others at the face value, typically that hardness or that break in that thinking comes earlier in life, but for you, it came later in life.

So how did that really mess with you as who you are?

To have that happen later in life.

For a while there made me an angry person, which, I mean, that's, that's something hard for me to deal with anyway.

I don't, I don't like being an angry person.

I've seen what stress can do to a person.

I've seen the toll it's taken on my mother's body.

So I've always tried to let things go.

Not, you know, not like.

And the stubborn side of me, you know, that I think that's another thing that attributed to the, the change in my life.

But I'm, I've always, you know, been against letting things getting the better of me.

You know, I won't let something be greater or, or more than I can handle.

Especially when you put it into perspective of just thinking about what other individuals have had to deal with.

You know, my life is probably the greatest ice you could hope for for somebody else.

Right.

And I've always kind of, I mean, even when I look back being little, I've kind of always put things in that perspective.

Could always be worse.

And it can for sure.

Yeah.

How, how has the shift in the hurt changed who you are as a husband or father, or did it only affect you?

I've probably been a little more protective and a little more vocal about.

I tried to be the type of father that instills good values and, and gives the information, but then tries to let go of their hand so that they can go through the motions and see how they handle it.

Right, right.

But I think after that, and I mean I'm, I'm not on the level of my, my wife, who, you know, constant worrier, so always going to be, you know, on the kids about this, that and the other thing, because she doesn't want anything to happen to them, whereas I, you know, I want some things to happen to them.

You know, how are they gonna, how are they gonna grow?

How are they gonna learn to overcome challenges if they're not presented with them?

So I definitely say I probably have been more communicative about.

Communicative about what could potentially go wrong.

I'm not a worst case scenario person, but I think that maybe gave me a little more of that side of it.

I'm more of a, I'm definitely more of a cup is half full outlook on things.

It's interesting because I speak to a lot of people from various walks of life and mothers, for whatever reason, not painting with a broad general brush, but for the most part, mothers seem to worry more and want to protect more.

And fathers are more like, figure it out.

Here's the scenario.

Figure it out.

Right.

You know, and with my, with my wife, you know, I've had to help her learn how to pull back on that helicopter throttle and let our children make some of those mistakes so that they will learn, you know, from them.

And, you know, I tell the story of my daughter when she was 10, you know, she was riding her bike and you know, I told her, make sure you keep both Hands on the.

On the handlebars.

And I'm in the house, and some lady down the street, broke, brings her over with bloody knees and crying and, you know, scraped arms.

And, you know, she's like, you know, your.

Your daughter fell off her bike.

And I'm like, okay, are there any broken bones?

No.

Okay, then go back out and play.

Well, aren't you going to take her to the doctor?

Like, no.

She was riding without her hands on the handlebars.

She suffered the consequences.

Nothing's broken.

She can go back out and learn again.

And I bet you she doesn't do it again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, that.

That's definitely a.

Something that my.

My father, you know, I think, instilled early on, too, was I.

And there's one instance in particular.

So the neighborhood that we grew up in was primarily African American, so my brother and I were more the minority, but we, you know, him and I both loved to dance.

And so that was when break dancing was a big thing.

And we were outside break dancing, practicing, like, the handspan and the egg roll and things like that.

And a bunch of guys, you know, stopped by the house and just started instigating a fight with us, some of which were much older than us.

Most of them were much older than me, but some of them were older than my brother.

So we, you know, we got up and we ran into the house, and we told our dad, like, there's a bunch of guys outside trying to start a fight with us.

And he grew up in the time where, you know, it was the.

The riots and the, you know, the worst of times.

Right.

So he goes, well, what are you doing in here?

And he.

He sent us back outside.

Now, he walked out with us and stood there and, you know, my brother told me, get up the tree, and everybody comes behind him.

I jumped down on it.

I mean, it was like, you're.

You're gonna deal with this.

This is, you know, you're not gonna come cry to dad.

You guys are gonna figure out how to deal with this.

Yep.

Well, part of.

Part of that, too, probably was his military background.

Like.

Well, Andy was a police officer.

Yeah.

Like.

Yeah.

So he just figured if anything gets out of hand, I.

You know.

Yeah, I got this.

Sometimes you just gotta learn.

But growing up in that scenario that you just described is probably what also helped you learn to be nice to more people and to not, you know, instigate issues that didn't need to be instigated, you know, because.

Yeah, I mean, it was hard to.

Get your Ass kicked otherwise.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I used to get.

I used to get picked on for the color of my skin because, you know, I wasn't.

I was the minority.

So it used to.

It used to aggravate me.

Like, I don't understand why they don't like me.

Why don't they like me?

So as someone who has children that are of Asian descent, how do you instill that in them so that they don't either a.

Take the.

What's the word I'm looking for?

The discrimination, you know, personal.

Because people are dumb asses and will do that.

Yeah.

So how do you.

How do you teach them to not take it personal and to also stand up against it?

So with our.

Our youngest, I mean, I've never.

I'm not gonna try to be naive and say that, you know, color isn't a thing, but that's kind of how I've always.

My outlook.

Right.

Like, I don't.

I don't see people in color.

I see people in the versions of who they are.

And I raised both the boys that way more.

I mean, Brandon, my oldest, we were watching something one time, and he was trying to ask about one of the kids in the show, and I'm like, well, which kid are you talking about?

And he goes, the.

The kid over there.

That one over there.

This one?

I'm like, well, which one?

He goes, the.

I don't know.

His, like, face is brown.

So was kind of.

It was one of those moments.

I was just like, okay, so I haven't really ever really discussed black versus white versus whatever.

So he just described it the best that he could think of how to describe it.

And so I've.

I've never really brought the race card into discussions with them, just because I think if you give it the attention, then that's where it thrives.

Right.

And as far as.

If they've ever been subjected to it, neither one of them have.

And I've always tried to, you know, I've tried to instill confidence in them, like, you know, not giving them egos.

Neither one of them have egos.

My youngest definitely carries a lot of confidence.

I think my oldest, he was three and a half months premature.

And so he's had some developmental stuff that's kind of, you know, bottlenecked his education.

He doesn't.

He doesn't test well.

He doesn't.

His comprehension and the way that he communicates, he struggles with a little bit sometimes.

And so I. I think socially that's kind of made him feel.

When he was younger More so than I think now.

I think now he maybe kind of coming to terms with some things, but he definitely had some breakdown where, you know, he, he's just like, you know, I, I wish I could participate in the conversations the same way my friends do.

And you know, he just kind of is on the sidelines watching all this stuff happen, but at the same time, you know, he, he doesn't really care what people think of him.

Sometimes to a fault, like, you know, we had our battles of hygiene.

Well, you know, I don't need, I don't care if my breast stinks.

Well, you should.

Well, that sounds like typical 13 year old stuff though, you know, so how does.

Now you've been married for an extremely long period of time and that sounds funny to say for only 20 some years, but you know, in this day and age where, you know, people change spouses like they change their clothes, you know, that is a longevity.

So.

And obviously you're two different people with two different backgrounds and two different experiences.

How have you been able to blend that and merge that?

So it's a lasting relationship because I saw you guys together, you guys are still very much in love and very much care about each other.

So how do, how do you make that work?

That's it.

Those are it.

Right?

Loving and caring and both of us stubborn, you know, neither one of us want to lose anything.

We're very competitive in anything that we do.

But that, you know, definitely is made for some arguments.

Right.

I'm a little more, if I don't have a strong enough conviction, I'll just.

Yeah, whatever.

Okay.

So that probably helps too.

I've learned to say yes, you can choose your battle.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

My, my 11 year anniversary, you know, just passed and, and I've learned to say yes dear, because I was very much stubborn and came into it from a very volatile previous relationship and, and you know, spent a lot of time on my own, so.

Set in my ways.

And yeah, I've learned to learn to take that approach.

You know, if I don't have a stronger conviction about it, do I need one just to be right?

No, no, no.

And, and I, I mean that's definitely one of the arguments that, you know, we've had over the years where, you know, you're a pushover, you look, you know, you let everybody take advantage of you and like, well, it doesn't seem to bother you when you're doing it.

Yeah.

Perspective, you know.

Yeah.

I always joke with my wife, like I don't even know how I knew how to load a dishwasher prior to you coming.

You know, like, I'll load it and then you'll reload it.

Like, man, I wish I'd have known how to do it better all those years by myself.

Yep.

My favorite one is I'll ask her something and she'll say.

Because I'm like, oh, I never thought of it like that.

Yeah.

I find I didn't know how to park very well either.

Like, wow.

Yeah.

Why didn't I think of that spot?

Actually, that.

That's one that I got kudos for her.

Her parents and I and her went to LA one time and I parallel parked and they're so.

They're talking in the back and either Vietnamese or Cantonese, whatever language they were deciding to talk about her.

And then she kind of looked over, she goes, they said, you did a really good job.

Because it was like, I went and then in, and I was done.

Nice.

That's.

Yeah.

I. I remind myself mostly that six plus three and five plus four still get us to nine.

So, you know, we're gonna.

We're gonna get there.

But if someone were to come to you and say, man, I really.

I really love how you live in life and in the relationship with you have you with your wife and your children.

And just in general, I'm kind of struggling with that.

What would be your advice to that person?

I think they just have to be honest with themselves because how hard is it to do it if it's what you want, right?

So if it's.

If you're struggling with it, then you're struggling maybe with what you really want, or if it's not them, then maybe it's not what the other person wants.

And that's a conversation to be had as well.

And so what do you want the legacy of Keith Whitaker to be?

Oh, I never really thought about that.

Which has kind of been taking it each day as it comes.

I. I just hope that the.

The people that I've met and, you know, been able to enjoy my time with or able to say the same, and that my boys felt loved unconditionally, my wife felt loved unconditionally, that they were never afraid to come and talk to me about whatever.

Yeah, I don't know.

I never really thought about what my legacy is.

I.

I've been kind of fortunate professionally.

I've seen this valley develop over the past 20 plus years and constantly drive past projects and like, oh, I worked on that.

Oh, I worked on that.

Well, that's where that is.

That's done.

So that's kind of been an unsought after legacy that I guess I can kind of point to my kids and say, hey, this is something that is a staple of what I enjoy doing.

And you can look at it when I'm gone.

I'm going to ask you one final question that I ask all my guests.

What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Keith?

I think just overcoming what life comes at.

You don't, don't let it get the better of you and you'll, you'll come out better for it.

It's, it's a blessing.

Each day is a blessing.

Right.

And so take advantage of it.

And it doesn't mean you always have to live it to the fullest because sometimes your body needs a break.

Sometimes it wants to just sit and read a book or stare at a screen or whatever.

It needs to meditate to get ready for the next blessed day.

Right.

Well, I am glad that you have blessed me with, you know, your, not only your time, but, you know, someone that I look forward to calling to a friend and, and getting to know you and your wife a lot better.

And, you know, hopefully we can do this again when we're not having to shout over some event.

Yeah, exactly.

And there's, there's more shows to be ahead.

Absolutely.

We'll get out there.

I love it.

Well, I appreciate your time today and may you and your wife and your family continue to be blessed.

So thank you.

Well, thank you for the opportunity to do this.

This is fun.

I appreciate it.

And if you'd like to get in contact with Keith, you can do so on Facebook at K Whit van.

And as always, thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as Roku via the Prospera TV app.

So be sure to like or subscribe to connect.

Catch all the episode.

And as always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

Sat.