Shownotes
Your energy does not lie. You can say all the right things and still feel quietly drained at day's end. This one is for anyone who tried to fix their tiredness with rest or discipline, sensing something deeper was missed.
Heather Hellmann reframes low energy not as a malfunction but as a mirror of where life is aligned, and where it is not. You will learn how a five-minute pause, honest self-talk, and small daily shifts change the frequency you carry.
About the Guest:
Heather Hellmann founded Sparked Soul Society and hosts the Sparked Podcast, where energy meets purpose. A certified coach in San Diego, she guides people toward alignment, authenticity, and inner peace.
Key Takeaways:
- Your reaction sets the frequency you send out, and you control it.
- Make peace the priority, not the afterthought.
- Five quiet minutes breathing, feet on the ground, no phone, shifts your energy field.
- Start and end the day with honest mirror talk: grace, not shame.
- Slipping into old patterns is not a setback, it is part of the work.
- Chase what genuinely lights you up, even small joys your younger self loved.
Connect With the Guest:
- Website: sparkedsoulsociety.com
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/hellmannheather
Episode Chapters: (timestamps approx.)
[00:00] Your Energy Is a Mirror, Not a Malfunction
[03:30] The Misconception About Chasing Energy
[07:00] Reaction Is a Choice, Peace Is the Priority
[12:00] Five Minutes, One Breath, a New Frequency
[18:00] The Self-Worth Pattern Beneath the Tiredness
[22:30] Heather's Story: a Car Accident, Sobriety, and Coming Home to Herself
[30:00] Mirror Talk and Returning After You Drift
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Transcripts
00:00:08 Avik: Dear listeners, you know, today I'm thinking to start a bit different way. Here's the thing that worth sitting with. I would say like your energy doesn't lie. You can say all the right things, hold it together, present the sparked, purposeful version of yourself to the world, right? But the way you actually feel at the end of an ordinary day, the things that drain you. The things that light you up. Those are quietly telling the truth about how aligned your life really is. Yeah, your energy is not I mean, it's not something, uh, you compare with your energy is a mirror. And most of us have learned to look away from it. Right. So today we are going to look directly into it. Yeah.
00:01:08 Avik: So here, dear listeners, welcome back to another episode of Soul Mirror. I'm your host and this is the podcast where we stop performing and start seeing ourselves clearly. The patterns, the masks, the things that we tend to look past. And today we are exploring how your energy reflects back the truth about your life and what it's been trying to show you. This one definitely asks for a little honesty. So, uh, come as you are, and let's look at it together. So I have to say, a very lovely guest with us today. And my guest lives at this exact intersection. So please welcome my guest. Hey there. So welcome to the show.
00:01:53 Heather Hellmann: Thank you so much for having me. I am honored to be here. And I love the topic and talking point we're addressing today.
00:02:01 Avik: Oh, amazing. Amazing. So dear listeners, like before we delve deep into the discussion, I'll quickly love to introduce you together. So here is the founder of the Sparked Soul Society and Wellness Minded Media and the host of the sparked podcast where, in other words, energy meets purpose. And I do not want to say much more things. Dear listeners. I do not want to take much of your time. Uh, I'll just quickly want to drive in because, uh, there are a lot of things to discuss today, so let's get started. So, uh, so, so here, like, I mean, your whole world is built around the sparked soul, energized the purposeful self. But I think there is a misconception which is hidden in how people chase that. Like, um, if I give you an example, like we, we, we tend to treat low energy as just a kind of problem to fix, push through it, uh, sometimes caffeinate it as well and override as well. But what if our energy is actually a mirror and which is telling us something very different truth. So what do you think? I mean, what do people most misunderstand about what their energy is really reflecting back to them?
00:03:21 Heather Hellmann: Well, I think the biggest part where people get lost in energy is in the choice that they have on their own reaction to it. I think a lot of us get very lost in our own reactions and realizing that that's actually what comes back to us, right? If we're going to get angry over something, right, like the littlest minute thing, that anger, that energy, that frequency is literally going to find its way and vibrate back to you to disrupt something else in create discourse in your field. Right? Yeah. Um, and people don't realize that we are the main controller of that. And it's really hard because in today's society, you know, we're conditioned to have immediate reactions and six seconds of engagement and, you know, on to the next, on to the next. And we're processing a lot of information at a rapid speed. So sometimes it's almost hard to be the controller of our immediate reactions, our immediate thoughts, instead of taking that time from a grounded, calm, nervous system and saying, okay, you know, yes, this is happening. Yes, this feels chaotic. But you know what? Can I see through this lens and control and get a better outcome? People don't stop and have that pause anymore, and we don't even realize it because we're masking so many different pieces of our own energy every day. Right? So I think that's kind of where it starts.
00:05:31 Avik: Definitely. Exactly true. I mean, um, and before, before I say, I definitely also love to ask you about like when someone starts reading their energy, like, um, as a mirror instead of an kind of obstacles. Um, what do you think? I mean, what begins to shift in them?
00:05:52 Heather Hellmann: Well, you know, for me, one of the biggest things is I had a short fuse. I had a short temper, right. And so I couldn't understand why I was always frustrated and everything always felt like I was just in one traffic jam where a car would hit me. And then one more car, another car, another car. And before you know it, we're piled up, right?
00:06:09 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:06:10 Heather Hellmann: That's how it felt in life. And then I realized that I needed to think through things. And it starts with a choice. It starts with an internal discipline of saying, I'm not going to let this throw me today. I'm not going to let this rattle me. But getting to that place is a very hard thing to do. Um, it took a lot of work for me to start realizing that peace was the priority in every situation, and finding peace was a very long journey. You know, it's not something that is natural to most of us. Most of us have grown up in very chaotic households. You know, we all have that word trauma as a buzzword today. So every single person I know comes equipped.
00:06:57 Speaker 3: With it.
00:06:58 Heather Hellmann: And learning to realize that those things, despite all of that, they can all exist. Those. Those all existed. But the. The chance or opportunity you have to actually control. It is how you approach the current situation, the current invitation to react where you're at. Right. And that is the first thing that I realized in being able to have a better outlook in life, a better positive spark, if you will, on how I show up, how I give energy back, and how I light up a room. And it took a long time, a lot of discipline to be able to say, no, we're not going to lose our cool here. We're going to look at it and say, this is happening for a reason and it's happening for me. So if I think of it that way, how should I react to move through this and with it, not against it and try to combat it? And that changes and shifts the energy right there. And most people don't give that pause, that moment to breathe. Even sometimes it's just an immediate. This is how we're reacting and this is how we're going to handle the situation. So, you know, I've seen it do I've I've experienced both sides of myself, you know, and I know it happens when I.
00:08:20 Speaker 3: React.
00:08:21 Heather Hellmann: Without the peace. And I'll tell you, it took me far too long to learn that peace was the biggest value to our time.
00:08:29 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:08:32 Avik: Exactly. So here, definitely, I have to say one thing that, um, and there is something in what you just said is like, I definitely want to, uh, hold for it because, uh, you just suggesting that our energy is not random. It's the honest one and it reflects how aligned or kind of misaligned we are. And yeah, definitely, I think a lot of people who are listening have spent years and years trying to fix their tiredness without even without ever asking that what if or what it was reflecting.
00:09:10 Heather Hellmann: Right. And to your point, I think a lot of people are are searching for that outlet. They just don't know how to do it. And what I like to say creates the spark or ignite reignites the spark. So you feel it. So you feel that energy frequency change.
00:09:28 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:09:29 Heather Hellmann: Creating space for yourself when we don't usually a lot of people don't practice self-care. They don't even take five minutes to breathe, right? Like we get we wake up from the moment we wake up, we're subscribed to our phones, and then it's family and work and this and that and hustle and bustle and that hustle culture that's been created everywhere. And before you know it, you're home, you're exhausted, you're defeated, and you're ready for bed. And instead of recapping the day and saying, wow, I'm really grateful for this moment that happened today or starting your day with, I'm going to have this great day today no matter what. I'm not going to let that let this shift where I'm going. We don't get that opportunity as often as we'd like as people. And what I found is most people don't even take five minutes to breathe. Breathing such an underrated tool in how we approach our energy. I always recommend to my clients, take five minutes, go outside. Put your feet in the ground. Sit on the earth. Breathe. Set a timer if you need to, but do not be on your phone. Do not connect with anything except for your own breath and what's happening around you. The energy, the outside, whatever. Take a moment and slow that down. I have clients that I tell. If you can't escape outside, go sit in your closet. Go sit in a space that is quiet, where you can have a moment and breathe and watch how things shift. It's it starts with something so small, so minute to be able to create a new shift in our energy field, to create a frequency that is different than what we've been operating out of. I always know my clients are going to have more success. I say, you know, within the first week, if I can get them to do three out of seven days of finding that five minutes, or maybe it's making the bed, or maybe it's just, you know, writing three things for gratitude in the morning or saying them out loud in a mirror, something like that. If I can get them to do it three times out of seven, yeah, they are already shifting a new pattern, a new behavioral energy, and the body's going to recognize that field and it's going to start to gravitate towards more energy like that. And that is just it's a magnetism, right? It's a magnetized field that you are creating change. You're creating new neuroplasticity within your own DNA to make change happen. And so you enter in more things, more things, start calling towards the energy that you want to be surrounded in, and it starts that small and people don't realize that something that little can actually shift the entire course of where you're headed.
00:12:05 Avik: Very truly said, I mean, energy is something we always, I mean, uh, I mean, often we, uh, misinterpret sometimes, but yeah.
00:12:16 Speaker 3: Totally.
00:12:17 Avik: Exactly. Yeah. And if you just go, uh, deep into it, like, uh, uh, I mean, when someone feels chronically dimmed despite of doing everything, every, everything, I mean, every right things, then the easy answer is like they need more rest or more discipline, but you sense something, uh, different, something deep inside it. So what do you think? I mean, what is the pattern beneath the surface? Like, uh, the thing the mirror is often reflecting that people don't want to see or don't want.
00:12:52 Speaker 3: To.
00:12:53 Avik: Actually want to see. Basically. Yeah.
00:12:55 Heather Hellmann: You are not wrong a lot. I mean, I can speak for my own existence and I can say that there were many parts to myself I didn't want to be honest with. I didn't want to acknowledge that that was the current state that I had allowed myself to become. Right. And the thing is, what we don't realize is the simplest thing we carry. We say, oh gosh, I've done all this. I've been shameful. I've been guilty, I've been this, I've been that right. Whatever it is that we're carrying, it's all tied to a self-worth. The way we see ourselves, the way we show up for ourselves. And one of the biggest lessons that I've learned is that if you can learn to let go of the energy that you had created previously and say, I'm going to try, Try smallest word in in all of language, right? It's like try to move differently. It's not perfect. It's not linear. A lot of people think that because it doesn't happen every single day, that change isn't happening. But if you start to see over time that you're, you're making a conscious effort at creating those change mechanisms, even as small as they are, you will start to reflect that. And it is not it is not something we're born into, something we're born with. We do have that air inside of us, but you have got to condition it. Just like a muscle. The brain is the same biggest muscle we really have. And it is about conditioning it, feeding it with good thoughts, feeding it with like grace and forgiveness and honoring those energies as like real substance, real food to help the brain nurture itself and create a higher energy and better output for the body to function in. So that way you can send you to show up with this light and without getting the spark. And we all do that. We all, you know, life is not perfect. It's a conditioned. And not every day do I show up to the gym feeling one hundred percent, but I'm showing up and I'm not giving up. And that is the the belief structure that it takes to condition yourself into greatness.
00:15:28 Avik: Exactly. True. Yeah. So, um, I mean, if you can also share a bit like, was there a reason in your own life and your energy was reflecting a truth that you were not ready to face?
00:15:45 Heather Hellmann: Oh my gosh. You know, there were some parts of me that were really hard to face. I had died in a car accident at the age of seventeen. I was pronounced dead at the scene and brought back to life. Um, and from that I carried a lot of horrible ideas of myself. Very damaging, shameful, guilt ridden versions of me that I thought I had to hold on to. And I thought that I was just kind of being set up for punishment because of choices I had made prior to that, you know, that accident. And so I didn't think that I was deserving of the good things. So when something would come in, I would be like, oh, well, this is as good as it's going to get. I'm lucky to like, I should just be grateful. And I would push down the thoughts and the dreams that I had of like prior to that thinking, there's no way there's no hope, there's no, there's no path to getting to where I wanted to go. And I mean, I would hide my feelings, I would hide who I was. I'm really smart on, you know, in a lot of different layers. I have gone to school, studied psychology, sociology, got my master's in it, and I kind of shut down those parts of me thinking that nobody cared, nobody wanted to see that side. And so I started living less and less authentically. And I started hiding. I started drinking a lot. I started partying a lot. I started looking for connection in ways that wasn't really connected. It was just more of an escape mechanism. So I didn't have to try to figure out who I really was. And I got hit with a lot of hard trials and error because I kept chasing things that didn't really fit and kept taking me further away from what I thought was the path, until I realized one day that, like, I had to be honest and say, where are you hiding? Who is this girl that has all these big hopes and dreams? And why does she not get to show up here every day? Who cares if she's a nerd? Who cares if she, you know, is socially awkward? Who cares if you know she thinks this and someone thinks that and she, you know, she's allowed to exist in both things can be true. And it took a lot of conditioning. It took getting sober. It took saying like, I need to make changes in my life that are healthy. I needed to get my mind right. And when I started working on my mind, everything else started to kind of fall in line. My body started to take notice. My community around me started to take notice. My spiritual connection, my belief system, and everything around me started to shift into a better lane, a better feeling. And it was exciting because for the first time in my life, I was making choices based off of what I actually wanted to do, and not because everything around me told me that's what I had to do.
00:18:35 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:18:36 Avik: Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And I mean, yeah, the, the way that you describe about it and the energy draining, I mean, not because that we are, uh, doing too much, but because we're doing too much that is not ours that I definitely it stays with me because I think that's the part most people skip past. And, uh, yeah, I mean, looking at it honestly, the way the mirror asks to us takes the real courage, I have to say. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:09 Heather Hellmann: Well thank you.
00:19:10 Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:19:11 Heather Hellmann: Thank you. You know, I mean, it took it was not an easy task. And I think people think that because I maintain a positive outlook and I try to put forth a really positive energy towards others, I think that people just assume, oh, I must not have problems or I must not have challenges or this comes easy to me every day. Waking up is the challenge of how are you going to start the day, what energy you're going to bring to this day. And I just choose for myself to know that I'm going to give it my best. And no matter what life tries to bring at me, I've been through what I consider the worst, so I I'm just not going to let it win out because I know that there's so much more meant for us here. And I see it. I see it in the way that life surrounds me with good people, good community. Mhm. And my health and my connections and my, my friends, my family. Everything seems to flow in a manner because I've started creating it to be a better pathway for me, a better energy, um, more authentic, more true to the life that I thought that I would have for myself. And so I do find happiness, I do find fulfillment and it is possible. And I was the biggest believer and doubter that I would ever feel this way. And now to feel so filled up. All I want to do is create that spark moment for someone to know that, like if you start to make little changes, I promise the path to greatness isn't that far away from you. The path to being fulfilled isn't that far. You can find happiness. We are the creators of it and you have got to figure out what you are looking at, that you don't see that happiness and fulfillment in. And how do you shift the perspective of it? Because it's probably one little thing that you need to just give to yourself, so you can start to unwind from all the other ideas of why you couldn't. And you know, it's a process and people need to know that it's not an easy one. But if you really want that, it is. It is attainable. And we all have that capability. We all have the spark inside of us. It doesn't just burn out. Sometimes it's just sitting there in the dark waiting for you to reignite it.
00:21:36 Avik: Oh, so if you talk about the daily life, our day to day life, right? So for someone who is listening, who's, who wants to read their own mirror, um, more clearly. So where does it show up most in our daily life? What do you think?
00:21:53 Heather Hellmann: I think you start your morning with a great intention, right? I like to let mirror is the first place you get to confront yourself and you get to say, you know, all of you get to choose how you talk to yourself. That day I wake up and I say, I love you, Heather. I'm proud of you. Heather. I know that there's not always ease, but I know that we'll make it through whatever the day brings to us. And I start there. Have that conversation with yourself. Start talking to yourself. It's so important because that's the biggest frequency you offer to yourself. We are a vibration, right? We are. We've been talking about energy. We are our own vagus vibration. So when you get to look yourself in the mirror and have that vibration come back to you. And it's positive self-talk, not the shameful, oh gosh, I hate life. I hate my job. I hate my wife. I hate my dog, I hate this, I hate that. When we change the narrative of how we look into our own eyes and speak our own vibration and our own truth to our ourselves, it changes the energy field around you. So start there. And if you can't start there, try it at the end of the night before you go to sleep, try to speak the positive things that happen throughout the day so your body can rest and restore and hopefully wake up with that new idea that today is going to be a better day. And if you can do both, wow, you're really going to set yourself up for success. Because for me, trying to do those two things in a day are the most important. Because how you start and how you end is really how you're going to carry that energy forward into the next.
00:23:24 Avik: Exactly.
00:23:25 Speaker 3: Wow.
00:23:27 Avik: MM. And in those moments, like, what is the small one? Small way. Like someone can pause and actually listen to what their energy is reflecting. And what do you say?
00:23:40 Heather Hellmann: I say, you know, if something starts to feel like overwhelming or intense or chaotic, change the environment, walk into a new room and count to ten and see if you can get yourself to other thoughts in the first initial thought, because usually our initial reaction is protection out of fear, out of scarcity, out of worth, and trying to find like, hey, is this really the end all be all of today in this moment? If you can catch yourself there, I guarantee you you can start shifting the energy that you've created for yourself.
00:24:20 Avik: Okay. Okay. Definitely. And also, like, um, for someone who's ready to look into the mirror of their energy and, uh, let it guide them towards a more aligned life. Then what will be the approach that you would point them toward?
00:24:42 Heather Hellmann: You know, I would think I would just say keep going. If you start to see that you're making shifts and you're starting to create that, add something new to the list, start to ask yourself what it is you truly what truly gives you joy. Like a lot of times we forget that that inner kid lives inside of us, and that inner seven year old is wanting to do something great. I forgot for almost twenty years that I loved painting and I loved that as an outlet. And so when I'm sitting there like, not sure what to do, sometimes I'm like, you know what? I just need to take this hour and go paint and hope that I'm not going to be disturbed. And that doesn't always happen, you know, that's life. But at least I'm nurturing something that's true to me. And I keep building from that. I find the little things that bring me joy, whether it's just picking up flowers from the market or getting that five minutes outside to breathe, or figuring out what's going to set my week up for success. Those little things change the entire energy field. Mirror talk. The way we look at ourselves, because you're starting to give something back to you and it's the truest thing. You really have to take care of yourself first. You cannot put energy into anything else without leaking it. And I hope that people hear this and recognize that they can make one little tweak. Starting today, taking that five minutes, that breath, putting your feet outside in the grass, walking around, whatever it is, maybe you got to go hide in the closet from the kids and the family and the life just to take that five minutes. But if you can do it, do it for yourself. And I promise you, in a month from now, if you do it a couple of times a week, you will start to see things shift.
00:26:28 Avik: I really love that. Yeah, exactly. And, um, I mean, it definitely reframes it kindly. And you were not asking anyone to blow up their, uh, life the moment they see the truth, but inviting them. Right. You are. Exactly. You are inviting them to.
00:26:47 Speaker 3: No, not at all. The truth is not.
00:26:49 Heather Hellmann: As scary as we think it is. We've created this monster that follows us around, and we don't need to. You can be friends with that monster. You can acknowledge that, hey, these things happened, but I'm the one that's in the driver's seat now. And now that you're aware of it, like, hey, it's okay to process those feelings. It's okay to address the things have happened. Life has good and the bad for a reason. It's to help us reflect and to move on. And you know, if you didn't have bad experiences, then you didn't come here to live a life filled with experience. And that's our learning moments, our growing moments and the moments that make our character. And so they build you into who you are and give you an opportunity of who you get to choose to become. And I wish that for everyone.
00:27:36 Avik: Amazing. Yeah, definitely. Like, um, yeah, that, uh, you are definitely inviting everyone to start with the small honest adjustments, um, to let the realignment happen gradually so differently. And, um. The honest, honest part that nobody talks about is like, even when you are done, the work of aligning the old patterns sometimes creep back and you slip into pleasing performing overcommitting. And which definitely the, the spark served while also running on empty again. So, uh, how do you keep looking honestly into the mirror. On the days that you have drifted back into the old patterns. What you guys.
00:28:29 Heather Hellmann: I realized that I was capable of making those changes in progress before. And they're not setbacks. It's life. It's reality. Mhm. Um, you know, and choosing to step forward again in that reset, that moment, that that's the next level of growth. It's not a like, none of that is a setback. If we slip back into old patterns and old thoughts and limiting beliefs or performance mode, if you will, I mean, we're all guilty of it. And it's just about saying, hey, how did you feel in that moment? What can we do differently in the next? And trying to say, all right, you know, let's like maybe life will give you another opportunity to learn from it. Or maybe life is going to keep going in a direction now and all you can do is say, I'm going to try to do the best that I can with the information that's given to me and what I've learned and what I haven't, and keep making choices from there. There's no right or wrong. It's about trying to steer it to you, feeling like you're making the best adjustments for yourself and being honest when you don't. And that's it.
00:29:45 Avik: Okay, so, um, what would you say to someone who realizes that they have slipped right back into a misaligned life that they thought they would left behind?
00:29:59 Heather Hellmann: Oh, gosh. Well, I would tell you that I've done it plenty of times myself. I am the master of breakdowns. Breakthroughs. Um, but each new chapter, each new level offers an experience of life. And I've found that despite where I've backslid or behaviors that I've allowed to long that continue to come to the surface are always guiding me towards something greater. I have never felt like I've. I've slid so far backwards that I can't pull myself forward. I just know that I've seen that I'm capable of change. And I hope that I continue to lean in and find those refinements over and over again. And you do. You do. If you really set your mind towards something, you'll find your path.
00:30:56 Avik: Yeah. So if you have to give one advice to the listeners today, what that will be.
00:31:02 Heather Hellmann: Oh gosh. Don't give up on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to do. It's easy to want to look to someone else and be like, oh, they're doing everything right. All you need to do is be honest with yourself and say, what can I do right and right now? And that is a hard conversation, but it's a great one to have. And if you can do that with yourself, you're already making change.
00:31:25 Avik: Okay. And if, uh, listeners wants to connect with you, what would be the great medium to connect?
00:31:30 Heather Hellmann: Um, they can find me at spark soul society dot com or on Instagram at the spark. Soul society dot com also can find me on Instagram as Heather Helman three three three. And I look forward to connecting with whoever wants to continue the conversation.
00:31:47 Avik: Amazing. That's really great. So dear listeners, what I'll do is I'll put all the links, details, everything into the show notes for easy reference. And, um, yeah, I have to say thank you, Heather. I mean, there's something honest and freeing about treating our energy as a mirror rather than kind of malfunction. And definitely, I think a lot of people will look at their own, uh, a little different after today's discussion. So. Today, whosoever you are listening right now, or maybe you'll be listening later as well before you sleep, uh, look once into your own, I mean yourself, uh, uh, into your own mirror, right? Think back over your day and notice honestly, like what trained you and what lit you up, right? Don't judge it. Just let it be. Just let it reflect something true to you about where your life is aligned and where is, uh, I mean, it's quietly asking for a change, right? So I believe that noticing is where it begins. So with this hope, dear listeners, this is your host and this is the soul mirror. Until next time, keep looking honestly and gently. Thank you so much.
00:33:06 Heather Hellmann: Uh, thank you so much.
