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6 Most Powerful Life Lessons from Dr Demartini - The Demartini Show
Episode 16713th January 2023 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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Living an inspired life requires mastering some skills. In this episode Dr Demartini shares 6 powerful life lessons that will help you lead a life of inspiration.

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Transcripts

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Don't waste your time on low priority things,

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only go after things that are truly, deeply meaningful and inspiring to you.

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So you'll walk your talk and achieve things and build momentum.

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I have been involved in,

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I guess you could say the pursuit of self mastery since I was 18,

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and I'm 68 just in a few weeks. And so I've been doing it a bit.

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50 years. And there are certain principles,

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certain actions that I feel very confidently

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in saying will help you do something extraordinary with your life,

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help you master your life. I don't know about you,

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but I'm assuming you would love to master your life.

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I certainly wanted to do mine.

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I wanted to empower all of the seven areas of my life, my spiritual quest,

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my mind development, my career, my wealth,

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my family dynamic, social leadership, physical fitness, everything.

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So whatever your goals are,

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whatever your intentions are based on what you value, one

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thing for the last 45 years that I learned is,

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you want to start with something that you're certain about,

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when you're shooting for goals and objectives to achieve something in life.

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You don't want to just go after,

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sometimes we go and we compare ourselves to other people.

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We meet somebody and we go, Wow, they're amazing.

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They've done something amazing. And they go, Oh, I would like to do that.

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And we get kind of distracted and scattered.

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I just had a client yesterday who said that they went off on another wild

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goose chase,

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and they constantly go off on these wild goose chases and we traced it down to

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the moment they see something,

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read something or meet somebody that they look up to,

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and then they tend to infiltrate some of the values of those people and they

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tend to sidetrack trying to be somebody they're not.

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And they keep defaulting back to who they are.

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And a lot of times you think that there's something wrong with you.

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You think that there's a weakness or there's a, you know,

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a sabotage or a limiting belief or whatever but really

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distractions from what's really important to you.

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And you had to go learn to not put people on pedestals.

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And that's the lesson. You know,

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instead of putting them on a pedestal and minimizing yourself,

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it's wiser to go find out what you see in them,

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find out where you have that same ability and trait already demonstrated in your

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values, and stay focused.

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But the first principle that I want you to write down is that it's really wise

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to determine what you really value.

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What's really your life is demonstrating you're committed to. Now,

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if I look at my life over the last 50 years,

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it's not hard to see that I've been consistently,

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spontaneously doing something.

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And that is learning everything I can get my hands on and sharing it with

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everybody I can get my outreach to.

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And that's something that I've been doing since I was 18 years old.

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So if I look at what my life demonstrates as what's really important to me,

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it shows up.

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And I've been for the last 45 years helping people determine what they value.

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And I slowly but surely developed a methodology to assist people in doing

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that. And you know, I've mentioned it in some of my presentations,

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and it's the Demartini Value Determination process. It's free,

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it's complimentary, it's private, on my website, drdemartini.com.

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Please take the time to just go and take 30 minutes of your

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time and fill it out. It'll be eye-opening. You can print it out,

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you can store it, it's private, you can look at it again, do it again in a week,

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a month, every quarter,

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just to see what your values are demonstrating as really priority to you.

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Because anytime you're setting goals and objectives that are congruent and

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aligned with what you value most, you increase the probability of achievement,

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and you walk your talk, you wake up your leadership, you grow your self-worth,

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you expand your horizons, you tend to do what you say,

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you're not limping your life.

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And so finding out what you really value and what your life is demonstrating it

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as important, that's the first thing.

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So the first step is determining what you really value and not let the outer

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influences distract you from what that is.

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All along my journey in my twenties,

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I started speaking sometimes at conferences.

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I was 23, 24 when I, no, pardon me,

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at 28 when I first did my larger conference.

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And there were thousands of people there,

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and I noticed there were other speakers there and I was sometimes enamored with

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them and putting them up on pedestals and kind of comparing myself to them.

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And I remember having this lunch with one of the speakers and I said, You know,

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I feel a little bit like an imposter here because

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some of you guys have done something more than I've done and you know,

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I haven't achieved that, but I'm working towards that.

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And he looked at me and he said, It's interesting that you're saying that,

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I was actually intimidated talking to you. And I said, Really? And he said,

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Yeah. He says,

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Because you are so articulate and you know how to share and teach,

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and I wish I had that skill. And you may think, Oh,

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I wish I had that skill to go and do the clinical, you know,

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management of a practice, but is that really what you're wanting to do?

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And I go, No, I want to share and teach. He says, Well, stick to what it is.

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And the guy gave me the feedback. And I said,

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I realized that I was sitting there envying somebody else,

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trying to imitate somebody else and injecting his values and trying to be

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somebody I wasn't and distracting myself from my confidence of where I was.

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That's why I tell people the magnificence of who you are is far greater than all

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those injected values and fantasies you might inject.

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So instead of getting distracted by enamoring with my colleagues,

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I just kept focused and I built momentum.

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And then I found out that they looked up to me for my skill,

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I looked up to them for their skill and we all honored each other's skills and

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it was such a big relief. So first, determine what you value.

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Go online and do the Value Determination process. Do it again.

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You'll probably distort it at first.

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You'll probably write down what you think it should be, ought to be,

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supposed to be, got to be, have to be, what you wish it would be,

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what it used to be, instead of write down what your life demonstrates. You know,

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if you're watching from a drone up above,

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looking down in your life and watching what you actually do and how you spend

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your time and what you fill your space with and how you're, you know,

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what you're inspired by and what you really disciplined to do every day,

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what you spontaneously do every day,

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it will give you a revelation of what it really is important to you.

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And a lot of times we are afraid to admit it.

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I'm certain that a great majority of people are afraid to admit what's true.

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They want to live in a fantasy and they're not going to do anything except beat

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themselves up doing it.

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You're designed to beat yourself up when you're trying to be somebody you're not

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because it's trying to get you,

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your own physiology is trying to get you back to be who you are.

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So number one is determine what your values are.

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Go online and take advantage of that. That's why in the Breakthrough Experience,

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every time I do the Breakthrough Experience I make sure that's done,

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because I don't want them wasting time on goals that aren't congruent with that.

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Don't waste your time on low priority things.

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Only go after things that are truly, deeply meaningful and inspiring to you.

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So you'll walk your talk and achieve things and build momentum.

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That's number one. Number two, ask yourself,

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how can I get handsomely or beautifully paid to do that?

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Whatever that top value is. Mine's teaching.

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So I asked myself many years ago, I mean, this is very young,

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how can I get handsomely and beautifully paid to teach?

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Because if I don't find a way of doing what I love and getting paid for it,

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I'm going to have a Monday morning blues, a Wednesday hump days,

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a thank god it's Fridays, and a week frigging end.

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And I'm going to be working doing something I don't love, to make money,

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so I can then blow it and spend it on dissociating from that

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unfulfillment by immediate gratifying consumables and depreciable's and never

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get around to do what I really love to do, except as a hobby. Now,

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if that's really what you want to do and only as a hobby, then fine.

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But every day that you go to work that you're not inspired by,

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your cytokines and your immune system and your autonomic nervous system is going

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to let you know it with signs and symptoms,

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and you're going to be less than inspired,

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you're going to have friction and not fuel.

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You're not going to be getting up in the morning and go,

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I can't wait to tap dance to work as Warren Buffet says. Warren Buffet, I mean,

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even though he hasn't been eating the healthiest foods and everything else,

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but he is in his nineties. Him and, you know,

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his partner basically been doing a long, Charlie Munger,

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they've been doing this for a long time.

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And that's because they love what they do. And that's important.

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To get to do what you're really inspired to do. So ask,

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how can I get handsomely and beautifully paid to do it? I ask that,

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how do I get handsomely and beautifully paid to teach?

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How do I get handsomely and beautiful paid to write?

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How do I get handsomely and beautifully paid to travel the world? I found a way.

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I'm doing those things today and I'm getting paid to do those things,

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but that meant that I had service to do.

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You're not going to get paid to do it unless you're serving somebody,

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and you got two ways of serving somebody. You may want to write these,

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you'll laugh probably.

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You either go out and directly go out and serve customers, clients,

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attendees, with some sort of a value by doing it.

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Or you serve a partner in a marriage,

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who will then go out and make the income so you can do what you love and they're

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taking care of it. If you want to raise beautiful children,

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then your number one customer may be your spouse.

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If you're not working in a normal format and you're basically a stay home mom or

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whatever, then you're, and you love that and that's your mission then ask,

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how do I get paid to do that? Well, you take one client,

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called a husband or spouse, wife, who's working,

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and you go and dedicate your life to fulfilling the service of that individual

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enough for them they want to go and pay for all your what you want to do.

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That's still a customer, it's still a business, it's a family business.

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not the mafia, it's the family business. But,

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but what you want to do is you want to make sure that you're being of service

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because you're not going to generate an income unless you're serving somebody's

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needs. And if you're not generating an income doing what you love,

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you've got a Monday morning blues, Wednesday hump days,

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week frigging ends environment.

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And then you're going to have to escape what you're,

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that you have the doldrums for to go and escape and make it a vacation kind of

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thing,

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and escape and blow all your money on doing those things instead of making your

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money doing what you love and building momentum and valuing yourself.

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So I ask whatever I do in business, anytime I'm doing

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I ask, how could I get handsomely paid to do the next step?

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How can I get handsomely paid to do that? I don't ask how can I afford to do it?

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Where I get in debt, I ask, how do I get paid to do it so I go move forward.

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And then I save and invest and I make my money work for me. So it's,

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I'm doing what I want to do, not because I really have to,

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but because I love to do it. And there's a freedom in that.

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So number two is, you know, go and ask yourself;

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how can you get handsomely and beautifully paid to do it,

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where you're working and doing what you really love to do?

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The third one is the highest priority action steps daily.

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What are the highest priority action steps you can do today that will help you

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fulfill that dream? And you want to ask yourself,

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what are the highest priority actions I can do today that can help me fulfill

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that dream? Help me go and do exactly what I love doing?

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And if you do that every single day,

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you'll get the highest priorities of the highest priorities,

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of the highest priorities and you'll end up manifesting momentum building

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achievements towards that objective. So ask yourself that,

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what is the highest priority action I can do today that can help me fulfill what

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is most important and what I would love to do and what I want to get paid for?

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If you ask what are the highest priority actions I can do today,

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and do that every single day, you'll find a pattern.

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And if you go and find out what's the highest priority of those priorities,

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that keep repeating and the highest priority of the highest priorities,

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the highest priority, the highest priorities, the highest priorities,

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you'll narrow down and distill down what is the absolute most important thing

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to be focusing on. Then once you narrow that down,

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I found mine is teach, research, write, travel. Teach, research, write,

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travel. I have delegated the rest. The third one,

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the fourth one pardon me,

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is to make sure that you delegate the lower priority things.

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And you maybe think, Well, I can't, I can't delegate everything. Well,

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there is absolutely,

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if you're going out and generating some income doing what you really love to do,

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you can afford to delegate lower priority things

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so you can do more of that to generate more income.

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The cost of what you pay for the delegation will be

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what you can generate if you get onto high priority things.

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I learned that when I was 27 years old, 28 years old,

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and it made a huge difference in my life. And people say,

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Well that's because you can afford it. You're wealthy. No,

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I became wealthy and I afforded it because I did it.

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I want everybody to get that. Because I did that is I got wealthy.

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I just did a podcast the other day and it was the second time I did this lady's

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podcast and I guess it was maybe six months or seven months ago,

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we did it again. And she got the idea of delegating.

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She started implementing it and she said, when we did the second one, she said,

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That was a gold mine. Once I did that, my business had gone up,

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my income's gone up.

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I'm actually doing more of what I really love to do and less of the things that

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I thought I had to do.

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And I've got people now doing it and it's freeing me up and it's grown my

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business and I'm actually freer and more creative and more inspired and less

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weighed down. That's it.

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Give people the opportunity to do what they love by you delegating what you

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don't. And it's freeing, it's amazing.

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So you want to delegate all lower priority activities to somebody who would have

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it high on their priority list,

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something that they value more than you do that they would be inspired to do.

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Get it off your plate. Do what you love, love what you do,

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delegate the rest away. That is a huge freedom and action step.

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And again, my business started at 27. Well, I was teaching before that,

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but I started formally a clinical practice at that time and 18 months later

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massively grown because I learned to delegate.

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Because otherwise I was going to bog myself down doing

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else, you know,

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that I thought I had to do and I thought I would be better at it.

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I had all these excuses, you know, by the time I do it,

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or by the time I ask somebody to do it, I could have done it,

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the way they do it is not as good as me, I could do it better.

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All these ego trips that we get trapped in that hold us back.

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And the cost of it's not worth it, et cetera.

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But if you're not abnegating those things and actually going on to do higher

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priority things that pays, it doesn't cost to delegate properly. Now,

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you may want to make sure you hire somebody that's

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hire somebody just to save money. Hire somebody that can get the job done.

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And that frees you up to do what you really want to do.

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The next thing is to metric your achievements.

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To actually metric what you're doing. Number five.

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What are you actually monitoring on a daily basis or weekly basis,

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what you're actually achieving? When I put metrics into my practice,

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my practice grew.

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When I put metrics in my day planning and goal planning and my things I

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noticed I achieved more.

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What the metrics were is actually documenting are

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did? I put a checklist together, a daily checklist, I called a 'Did I' list,

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did I do all the action steps that have proven to achieve my outcome?

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I put down the strategy, I wrote out the action steps,

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I put a checklist together. Did I do those every single day?

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In the morning I would check it, read it. At the afternoon,

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I would knock it out and check it off.

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And then next morning I'd look at it again. Anything

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I linked higher to my values or I delegate it to somebody else.

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And then I freed myself up and refined it and found out if I just make this

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habit out of this, I'm going to get my achievements.

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And I metriced things to find out what worked, what didn't work,

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and how do I do it more effectively and efficiently tomorrow? And as I did that,

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I keep now records. If I said that I wanted to go and write books,

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I remember I wrote when I was 21 years old that I wanted to do enough

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influence in the world to be written about in a thousand books.

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We're broke the 700 book just recently, just like the other day,

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700 books have got some sort of reference to the work ,and I'm still working on

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that. I've got 10 more years I figured I'd have that accomplished. And I said,

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I want to write a certain number of books and in a certain number of languages

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and I wrote and I'm metricing it and I've got those books coming out and I've

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got the languages that are manifesting. I'm 10 languages away from the goal.

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And I write them out, I metric them,

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it keeps me focused and it allows me to find out what's working and not working

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and metric it and keep records of it. And it's really making you accountable.

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Are you really serious? You know,

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if you're having people in a company and you metric their results,

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they tend to get more done. And you can do the same for yourself.

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And what I mean by that is a KPI they used to call them, you know,

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key performance indicator or some sort of stat on what you're actually

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accomplishing. I love doing it.

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I have a whole Master Planning for Life book that I do and I teach

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people in Breakthrough how to start that, in the Breakthrough Experience.

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How to begin that so you can start to organize and take command of your life.

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If you don't take command of your life,

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everybody else is going to promote their stuff onto you and expect you to live

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in their values, and you're not going to be as fulfilled doing that.

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So I basically go through there, I metric what I'm doing,

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and I am certain that that pays off.

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And then you refine what you do and every day you look at what worked and what

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didn't work and keep refining it. And ask yourself, what else can I delegate?

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What else can I refine? How can I do it more effectively and efficiently?

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What's working, what's not working?

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These are the things you just keep asking yourself. And lo and behold,

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as you do, you build momentum and you got achievement and you got the facts.

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And by having the metrics you get to actually see what you've achieved and

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that's incentivizing for yourself and other people who know about that.

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A lot of people, if I go, my students sometimes look at my book, they go,

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My God, you actually have got all that documented? I said, Yeah. They say,

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that's amazing because now I can see that you're really serious about a goal.

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I said, I am serious about an objective.

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Why would you want a goal that you're not serious about?

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Why would you want to fill your day with something that's not really meaningful

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and important to you? That doesn't make any sense.

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So you want to prioritize your life, as I said. So again,

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I'm going to go through these again. Determine what your hierarchy values are.

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Ask specifically how do you get handsomely paid to do it?

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What are the highest priority actions steps I can do daily?

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How do I delegate lower priority things to get somebody who would love to do

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that to free yourself up?

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And how to metric the achievements that you do to make sure you're on track

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and to keep refining what you're doing. And the sixth one on these six steps,

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the six most powerful life lessons is to document what you're grateful for.

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You know,

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when you got the metrics there and you're getting to see what you're doing,

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one thing will happen.

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You'll either find out that months and months and months go by and you're not

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doing it. If so, you get feedback to either go and delete the goal,

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refine the goal, or delegate the goal. Because if it's not happening,

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it must not be important enough to you.

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Or it may be the timeframe you put on is unrealistic.

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And anytime you set a too big a goal in too short a timeframe,

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you'll beat yourself up. So why would you want those in place?

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Either readjust the time, set reasonable timeframes on it,

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or delegate it more or put a higher value on it by linking whatever the action

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steps are to whatever's highest on your value to increase the probability of

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achieving it,

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or delete it and quit living in a fantasy that's really important to you.

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I have deleted some goals in my,

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I had some lofty goals when I started out that weren't real,

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that I wasn't seeing evidence of doing in two, three years in.

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And I finally just realized,

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is that really important to me or is that something I picked up as a whim?

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And I finally deleted a few of them.

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And some of them I refined and some of them I updated.

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So if I don't see some sort of results based on what I really want,

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I'm not going to be grateful,

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and I want my gratitude to go up because when you're gra grateful,

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it kind of window washes the mind and opens the heart and allows love to come

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out,

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which then clears the mind and inspires you and then brings enthusiasm and then

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more certainty and presence in your life and you have more transcendental

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awareness and a function,

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and you're less likely to be amygdala based and volatile and distracted by

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external circumstances and you're more focused within. So that's the key,

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to document and incentivize yourself with gratitudes.

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I've the largest gratitude list of anybody I've ever met on the planet.

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And on the podcast yesterday, the lady said, I told her, I said,

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I've already got you on the podcast, the gratitude list. And she goes, You do?

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And I said, I've already typed it in. I said, I'll share it with you.

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And I pulled it up on Zoom and I showed it to her and she said,

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I'm actually in your gratitude book. I said,

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You're in my gratitude book and I've got you twice because we did that interview

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six months or so ago. And she said, That was very nice, thank you for that.

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And I said, Well, I'm grateful for what you're doing.

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You helped me reach another million people today and every time I get to reach

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the people that I'm setting out to reach, I mean, why not be thankful?

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And she goes, Good point.

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I'm thankful to have you on a guest because our last time we did it,

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it was a great received interview. I said, thank you,

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we were helping each other get our goals. What can we say?

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That's how you want to spend your day, doing something that serves other people.

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If you look really careful at the moments you've had the most inspiration,

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most fulfillment in your life,

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it's going to be the moments that you did something that made a difference in

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people's lives that you're grateful for.

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And so you want to make sure that you have it where these things are in fair

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exchange with people and have gratitude in life.

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So if you document what you're grateful for and you are basically you know,

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doing the sixth step as I mentioned, when you're grateful for what you got,

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you get more to be grateful for.

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And that's something that's going to be worth something in the long run in your

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momentum building achievements in life.

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So these are six steps that I know can make a difference.

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Six action steps or life lessons if you will,

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that I've incorporated into my life that are just standard for me.

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And I just know that they'll make a difference in yours if you put them into

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play.

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That's why I teach them in the Breakthrough Experience

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presentations.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I have people go through and actually identify

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what they're grateful for and write a gratitude thing after they do the

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Demartini Method,

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they take something that they've never appreciated and they're resentful to,

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and then I show them how to do certain action steps to balance out their

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perception and go in there and be grateful for it.

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And the moment they're grateful for it and I ask them to write a gratitude

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letter to the person. So they're basically re neuroplastically

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myelinating their pathways in their brain. In the process of doing that,

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you grow your potential in life. And so I think that's a great starting point,

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every day you want to review in the morning when you

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grateful for when you went to bed and document them down on piece of paper.

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I have thousands and thousands and thousands of pages

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daily basis. And when I go and read back, it brings tears to my eyes.

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Why not fill your day with tears of inspiration? Why not,

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they're moments of gratitude, moments of authenticity, moments of transcendence.

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That's the reason I teach the Breakthrough Experience,

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to help people get that lifestyle, to get at a habit of doing it,

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to help them dissolve all the baggage,

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to help them get clear about what their values are,

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to help them prioritize their life,

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to help them plan out their strategies and to help them achieve what it is that

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they want to achieve. I don't know if that's something you want,

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but that's something I definitely wanted and I just as I learned what was

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working and not working,

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I started sharing it with people and I found out that when I did and I started

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getting letters. In a weekly basis, I could get 20,

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30 letters sometimes coming in from people around the world that are just

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extraordinary letters that brings tears to my eyes reading them,

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who attended the Breakthrough Experience and learned from these principles and

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put it in operation. And it's amazing. And the longer they go,

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the more impactful that becomes.

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So please take the time to go through these six steps and consider joining me at

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the Breakthrough Experience where I can actually make you do it.

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It's one thing to hear it, it's another thing to do it,

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and put them into operation and make a habit out of it,

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and clear the baggage that's sitting there weighing you down and the illusions

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and start owning the traits of the greats in the Breakthrough Experience where

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you're not subordinating to people which distracts you.

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And give yourself permission to go after what's really meaningful,

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according to your values as I've stated in this presentation today.

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So that way you can master your mind and master your life and basically have a

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gratitude attitude in your life and do something extraordinary life.

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If you'd like to join me for doing that,

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I would like to do what I can to make a difference in your life and share these

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principles and allow you to learn how to apply them so you've got them for life.

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So join me at the Breakthrough Experience.

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I know that if you take these principles that I've outlined today and others

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that are there, because it's loaded with information for two days.

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It's 24 hours of me,

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you got 30 minutes with me today but imagine 24 hours of going through the most

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important principles and practical tools you can to master your life.

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I look forward to seeing you at the Breakthrough Experience.