Picture this: a guy takes his date out for a little spin in a shiny Corvette, right? Sounds romantic, but hold on to your donuts because this ain't your typical date night! Instead of a quiet dinner or a movie, they hit up a church parking lot for some epic donut action— and by donuts, I mean those tire-squealing, smoke-billowing burnouts! Yeah, you heard me! They were whipping around so fast, the only thing missing was a Fast and the Furious soundtrack. But guess what? The local sheriff wasn’t as impressed as I am. While they were creating a smoke show worthy of a Hollywood premiere, the cops rolled up and said, “Whoa there, speedy Gonzales, this ain't a racetrack!” Spoiler alert: our donut-loving dude ended up getting arrested! The lesson here, folks, is simple: if you're gonna do donuts, make sure they’re the sugary kind, not the kind that’ll land you in handcuffs. Let's keep your record clean and your sweets sweet!
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker A:
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:
And a guy on a first date got arrested for taking his date for donuts.
Speaker A:
You would think that would be, you know, it's a little different, but wouldn't seem like it'd be a big deal.
Speaker A:
And of course, this happens in Florida because.
Speaker A:
Of course.
Speaker A:
But.
Speaker A:
So they're out in this nice Chevy Corvette, and they don't go to dinner, they don't go to a movie?
Speaker A:
No.
Speaker A:
He goes for a romantic spin in a church parking lot.
Speaker A:
Yeah.
Speaker A:
When I said donuts, I did not mean the sugary pastry treat.
Speaker B:
They went round and round and round.
Speaker B:
And at one point, the blue smoke was so dense, you couldn't see the black car.
Speaker B:
It sounded like a car that was completely hot, rotted.
Speaker A:
Out.
Speaker A:
No mufflers.
Speaker A:
Very, very loud.
Speaker B:
Here comes the sheriff, you know, and the smoke is still coming off the pavement.
Speaker B:
Back off.
Speaker B:
We have families, we have children living in the area.
Speaker A:
Not only did he upset the neighbors, but the donuts were being done in a church parking lot.
Speaker A:
Like he's auditioning for the Fast and the Pious or something.
Speaker A:
I'm making smoke offerings to the Lord.
Speaker A:
They're in the Corvette doing donuts, the dates, grabbing and clutching the dashboard, squeezing, praying to Jesus while you're, you know, doing burnouts next to the baptismal.
Speaker A:
It's a church parking lot.
Speaker A:
Can you imagine a pastor looking up, you smell brimstone and Michelin.
Speaker A:
Is that what that is?
Speaker A:
So the guy gets arrested.
Speaker A:
The moral of the story is, if you're gonna do donuts on a first date, make it Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme or Cronuts or something like that.
Speaker A:
So your donuts are the only thing getting glazed, not your criminal record.
