Shownotes
Originally aired: August 19, 2021
We've all been there—when everything seems to go wrong and you're stuck in a spiral of frustration. But what if you could turn around a bad day without just waiting it out or forcing fake gratitude? In this Best Of episode, Janine shares her terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, and Shannon offers practical self-compassion strategies to shift your perspective and reset your energy. From the power of "yes, and..." to the surprising magic of moving your body, discover how to acknowledge what sucks while still finding your way back to good enough.
What We Talk About
- 00:56 - Janine's real-time bad day unfolds
- 01:58 - The restaurant analogy: when things start bad, they often stay bad
- 02:48 - Creating a mid-day reset to shift your trajectory
- 02:58 - Janine shares her comedy of errors: the groomer mix-up and the doctor's appointment disaster
- 05:12 - The chiropractor cancellation, the ink stain, and when everything piles on
- 05:41 - Stepping back to recognize privilege and practice gratitude (even when you're grumpy)
- 06:22 - Shannon's reframe: "We only have this problem because there's money"
- 06:59 - "Why do I always have to be the grown-up in the room?"
- 07:30 - The three-part response: wallowing, gratitude journaling, and knitting
- 07:55 - The power of "yes, and...": acknowledging what sucks before adding gratitude
- 08:40 - Avoiding cognitive dissonance: why gratitude alone doesn't work without acknowledgment
- 09:50 - Learning from bad days without self-recrimination: "file this away for future reference"
- 10:50 - Moving your body to reset your energy: the almost-magical shift
- 11:33 - The "knocking on heaven's door" twist move for instant relief
- 12:22 - The heated neck wrap hack for pain relief while moving
- 13:32 - Getting in touch with what's important to you: removing the bad day filter
- 14:40 - Removing the"bad day" filter so you can see the good stuff.
- 16:01 - The importance of acknowledging difficulty before turning things around
- 16:30 - The blessing of good friends and free advice
- 16:57 - Laughter as an antidote: calling a friend or watching your go-to funny video
- 17:24 - Damn You Autocorrect and other guaranteed laugh sources
Key Takeaways
1. Acknowledge First, Reframe Second
Don't jump straight to gratitude when you're having a bad day—it creates cognitive dissonance. Instead, use "yes, and...": Yes, this really sucks, AND I'm fortunate in these ways. Acknowledging what's hard allows your unconscious mind to genuinely feel gratitude instead of pushing back with "yes, but..."
2. Remove Your Bad Day Filter
When things go wrong, we unconsciously start looking for evidence that proves we're having a bad day. We become "chief executive officers of proving our bad day." Combat this by intentionally getting in touch with what's important to you—it opens your perspective to all the good things you're not noticing when you're focused on what's going wrong.
3. Move Your Body to Shift Your Energy
Physical movement creates an almost magical reset. Try jumping up and down and shaking your hands out, or do the "knocking on heaven's door" twist (twist your upper body with limp arms so your hands slap front and back). Movement shifts your energy and helps change your day's trajectory in ways that feel surprisingly powerful.
4. Learn Without Self-Recrimination
When things go wrong, resist the urge to beat yourself up. Instead, think: "file this away for future reference." For example, instead of "I should have made a chiropractor appointment sooner," try "Next time I feel pain starting, I'll make an appointment right away." It's the same lesson without the guilt.
5. Create a Mid-Day Reset
You can't abandon a bad day like you can leave a restaurant with terrible service, but you can create a break. Do something low-stakes that gives you a little enjoyment—it creates a transition between how things were going and how you want them to go. Whether it's knitting, calling a friend for a laugh, or watching a favorite funny video, give yourself permission to reset.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you make a bad day better?
A: Start by acknowledging what's hard (don't skip to forced gratitude). Then try a physical reset like jumping and shaking for 30 seconds, and name one thing you're grateful for. The "yes, and..." technique helps you hold both truths at once.
Q: Why doesn't gratitude work when I'm having a bad day?
A: Jumping straight to gratitude creates cognitive dissonance—your unconscious mind pushes back because you haven't acknowledged what sucks first. Use "yes, and..." instead: "Yes, this is hard, AND I'm fortunate in these ways."
Q: What's the fastest way to reset a bad day?
A: Move your body. Even 30 seconds of jumping and shaking shifts your energy almost magically. Physical movement changes your day's trajectory faster than mental strategies alone.
Bottom Line
Bad days happen to everyone, and you can't just walk away from them. But you also don't have to let them steamroll you. The key is acknowledging what's hard (without wallowing in it) while actively shifting your perspective to what matters. Move your body, laugh with a friend, practice "yes, and..." thinking, and remember: you're not the chief executive officer of proving your bad day. Sometimes good enough means recognizing that today was rough AND you're still okay—and tomorrow gets a fresh start.
Give it a try: Next time you're having a bad day, try this three-step reset: (1) Acknowledge out loud what sucks, (2) Do something physical to shift your energy (even just jumping and shaking for 30 seconds), and (3) Name one thing that's important to you that you're grateful for. Notice how the combination changes your perspective.
Connect With Us
We'd love to hear how you turn around a bad day! Have you tried any of these strategies? What works for you when everything seems to be going wrong?
- Leave us a voicemail: 413-424-GTGE (4843)
- Comment on social media: @gettingtogoodenough on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
- Email: gettingtogoodenough@gmail.com
If this episode helped you see your bad days differently, please share it with a friend who might need the reminder that good enough is always within reach—even on the worst days.
Related Episodes You Might Love:
- Episode 139: Coping Imperfectly (January 21, 2021) - How to cope during difficult times by granting yourself kindness and grace
- Episode 153: Helping Your Future Self (April 29, 2021) - Taking action in ways your future self will thank you for
- Episode 242: It's Okay to Be Imperfect (March 16, 2023) - How your worth has nothing to do with how perfectly you do things
Transcripts
Hello and welcome to Getting to Good Enough, a podcast to help you let go of perfectionism so you can do more of what you love. I'm Shannon Wilkinson, a life coach in Portland, Oregon. I'm a recovering perfectionist who's getting better at Good Enough.
Janine Adams:And I'm Janine Adams, a certified professional organizer in the St. Louis, Missouri. And I'm lucky enough to be naturally good at Good Enough.
Shannon Wilkinson:And today we're talking about how to make a bad day better. Hey, Janine.
Janine Adams:Hey, Shannon. How you doing?
Shannon Wilkinson:I'm all right. How are you?
Janine Adams:Well, I'm having kind of a bad day, but I'm fine. The overall picture. Sure. I'm just fine.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel, I feel bad that I laughed at you stumbling over your words.
Janine Adams:Yeah, go ahead, kick me when I'm down. No, it's that kind of day and it's fine that you laughed.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, it's.
You know, I was thinking about it and it reminds me of like, I mean, this seems so long ago because I just haven't been going to restaurants like I used to.
But, you know, have you ever gone to a restaurant and like, it takes forever for them to see you and then like, they don't bring you menus and then it takes, you know, a long time to get, you know, it's like everything is sort of like going wrong. Like, it's not horrible, but it's irritating. But it's irritating. And what I discovered was it generally isn't going to get better.
Like, if it starts out like that, just get out of there.
Janine Adams:There's no recovering cut.
Shannon Wilkinson:Your loss, probably.
Janine Adams:Right. But. And sometimes I feel that way about a day. Right. Like, I'd love to just sort of say bye bye to this day, but you can't really do that.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right.
Janine Adams:I did think about going to bed, but I didn't do it.
Shannon Wilkinson:I know sometimes you can, you know, sort of have a little bit of a, of a reset in the middle of the day and that helps. And by, you know, just sort of doing something that is, you know, sort of low stakes and gives you a little bit of enjoyment just to kind of.
I don't create a break between the way things were going and how you want things to go.
Janine Adams:Mm. Yeah. When you can do that, that's a nice thing. Right? Like a little transition. Can I just tell you about my day for a second?
Shannon Wilkinson:Please do.
Janine Adams:So I got up extra early so I could take Bix to the groomer. I needed to get him there at 8:15 and I got in there right at 8:15. And we walked in, and she asked for my phone number like they always do.
And then she said, hang on a second. And she went into the back, and she came back out.
And she said, you know, we have you down for Thursday, and the groomer who does standard poodles isn't here today. What? And I realized I'd never had an appointment on a Monday before. I don't know.
I'm sure they wouldn't have booked me on a Monday, so it must have been my fault. So Bix went back in the car, and we came home. He's like, what the. And so there's an hour. And then I got some good stuff done.
, Barry said, I'm here for my: Shannon Wilkinson:What?
Janine Adams:So it turned out to be, like, a Google Cal thing. So he didn't. I can't remember. There's a setting that he now has corrected, but it was a shared calendar, so he had put it into the calendar. And.
And so that was two hours of driving. Each of those appointments was a half hour away. Two hours of driving today, the. That wouldn't. That, you know, where nothing got accomplished.
Plus, my neck really hurts. And so driving actually hurts a little. And so that's just making me just crabby. In fact, I said to Barry, you know what? My neck hurts in the car.
I'm crabby, and my neck hurts, and that's why I'm crabby. And he said, I'm just going to ignore that. And I said, what are you gonna ignore? I'm gonna ignore that you said, you're crabby. Okay.
In other words, he's going to continue making his jokes and doing whatever he wants to do, which is okay, right?
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
Janine Adams:But. And then. But I was lucky because I got a chiropractor appointment for tomorrow. Hooray. And then they just called and said, no, we made a mistake.
You can't come till Friday. I just want. I don't know what I want now. I think I just want a glass. A bottle of wine.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's hard, but it seems like those things happen, like, all, you know, all in a row.
Janine Adams:Yeah, absolutely. I. I got ink on my permanent ink on one of my wool dresses last week. Oh, I know. I was writing postcards, so I don't know.
But I do know that when I, like, try to I, I, I can and I do step back, just look around and think how fortunate I am.
You know, when I was thinking literally about how some people have, you know, the brain chemistry that makes them feel grumpy all the time or depressed or anxious, and, you know, I just feel like I'm suffering so much because I'm having one day where I'm grumpy.
So that, for me, anyway, being able to think about that, think along those lines actually does help me snap out of it and to look at the sort of brighter side to. At least I can afford to go to a chiropractor. Right. I have insurance and.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right.
Janine Adams:Yeah. I've got the wherewithal.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
And that's something that similarly, that I kept reminding myself as I've, you know, sort of been dealing with all this stuff with my mom's estate, is like, well, we only have this problem because there's money.
Janine Adams:Right.
Shannon Wilkinson:You know, there are assets. So, like, yeah, it's a pain in the ass. And also it's okay, like, Right. You know.
Janine Adams:Yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:And also, I'm in a fortunate position. I'm in a privileged position to have this thing to deal with.
Janine Adams:Yeah, exactly. But still. And still it is sort of like, why do we. Why do you have to be the one who does everything? That's how I feel in my family sometimes.
Shannon Wilkinson:I know my phrase is, why do I always have to be the grown up in the room.
Janine Adams:Exactly. And I feel like pointing out that when I say that, I can relate to that.
It's not my husband, it's my family of origin, where I'm the one who has to be the grown up. Yeah. Barry does tons of stuff, but yeah. Yeah.
So it's like part of me wants to wallow and just hope that when I wake up tomorrow, everything will be better. And part of me wants to, like, go super gratitude journaly and maybe. And part of me just wants to, like, knit.
I suspect all three things are gonna happen.
Shannon Wilkinson:Well, yeah, exactly. What I was gonna say is I think this is a great spot for the phrase. Yes. And.
And I think it's important to acknowledge, like, you know, something sucks. Like, you are having a bad day. Like, this is unfortunate.
And, you know, there's all this other stuff that you're not paying attention to when you're focused on that one thing that's true, you know, and it's. It's like what you're saying with having gratitude, but if you just.
Without acknowledging that, you know, this something is a struggle or is literally painful or that you're grumpy or that, you know, whatever is feel making it feel like a bad day. If you don't acknowledge that, then you can have sort of a little pushback from your unconscious mind about trying to have gratitude.
Janine Adams:Because it's. Is it like a little cognitive dissonance or something?
Shannon Wilkinson:Exactly. You know, it's like, with the gratitude, it. Then it become the.
Like, you're like, yes, but, like, yes, that I have gratitude for all these things, but this really sucks.
So if you give yourself the opportunity to sort of acknowledge, you know, how you're feeling stuck or what's feeling hard and then add on top of that, you know, this. The feeling of gratitude or the.
Janine Adams:The.
Shannon Wilkinson:Just, you know, sort of recognizing this is hard and I'm okay.
Janine Adams:Mm. Right. Yes, exactly. And the other thing that. That occurs to me that might feel helpful is to think about, you know, these.
Just these little, like, scheduling snafus, for example. What can I do to try to prevent that from happening in the future? Like, be more mindful. It would be one thing when I'm entering things into my.
Into my phone or, you know, Barry fixed the setting on his calendar. That's going to prevent. That should prevent that from happening again.
Or, you know, gosh, I probably should have made a chiropractor appointment before I was hurting this much.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
Janine Adams:Before I was so desperate.
Shannon Wilkinson:Well, so, you know, and in. Instead of letting there be any hint of self recrimination, there could be, you know, file this away for future reference.
Should I start to feel pain? Make an appointment right away.
Janine Adams:Exactly. That's absolutely great. Reframe.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
Janine Adams:Yeah. And that's what I was trying to say just came out that way.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. There's a. There's a lot of ways to, you know, just give yourself a little bit of a re. A reset by moving is another good one.
Like, that's one of the best ways to sort of change the trajectory your day is on is by moving a little bit.
Janine Adams:You mean like taking a walk?
Shannon Wilkinson:It could be taking a walk. It could be just jumping up and down. Oh, like, I'm not going to do it right now because it'll probably be really loud and make no sense to people.
But if you just sort of jump up and down and shake your hands out, that sort of resets your body, and it, like, shifts your energy in some way that feels almost magical sometimes.
Janine Adams:Oh, it reminds me of the. Is it knocking on heaven's door? Is that what Adrian calls it when. Oh, yeah, that little.
Shannon Wilkinson:Twist your body, you twist your upper body and let your arms be limp so that your hands sort of slap in front and back as you're twisting.
Janine Adams:Right. Which is. It does. That is a great reset. Yeah. Yeah.
And it's funny because I've been trying to do yoga for my neck, but then I started thinking, gosh, maybe it's making it worse because I'm doing the yoga for the neck and I'm feeling worse. Not necessarily cause and effect, but today I was thinking, yeah, I'm not going to do any yoga. I'll do some meditation or something.
But that particular move, which I think I could do without straining my neck, sounds delightful.
Shannon Wilkinson:Mm. Well, and if you put that. Whatever that heating thing that you have, you know, it's like a rice pack or whatever.
Janine Adams:Fits like a whip. Fits like a whiplash collar.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. If you put that on your neck, heat that up and put that on your neck and then fasten it somehow so it doesn't go flying off and then do that.
I bet that would feel really good.
Janine Adams:I bet it would. I'm kind of excited to try that when we get through recording. Oh, good. Yeah. Because that would make my neck feel more stable. And also. It did.
I can't believe I didn't.
My neck's been hurting a while, and I can't believe I forgot I had that thing, which I, like, sent overnight on Amazon back in last fall when my neck hurt. Oh. We don't know why my neck's hurting, but, yeah, that's a great idea.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. So that's a good thing to do.
And then sort of less specifically for your situation, but more in general, it is helpful to do that thing that we always talk about, which is get in touch with what's important to you.
Janine Adams:I knew it would get in here somehow.
Shannon Wilkinson:Because I think, you know, the. The thing about having a bad day is, you know, there.
There can definitely be, like, one thing that sort of, you know, to send you over the edge or, you know, that one thing, like, turns it into a bad day. But often it's a string of things, and then you are kind of looking through the filter all of a sudden of, like, things that are not going well.
And so then you're noticing those things. But by stopping being like, ooh, I am having a bad day, and being like, well, okay, what's really important to me right now?
You know, what matters and to.
So that you can open up your perspective to all the things that you are not noticing, all the things you care about, all the parts of your lives that you are not all the parts of your life that you are not paying attention to when you are focused on this sort of narrow band of things that are going bad.
Janine Adams:Right. Just remove that filter. That bad day filter.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yes.
Janine Adams:So that you can see the good stuff. Oh, that's a great image. That works. Really resonates with me, that's for sure.
Shannon Wilkinson:Oh, good.
Janine Adams:Yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:But I think, you know, that. That. That is a big.
I know it is for me, you know, when I sort of am having a bad day, then it's like I start looking for evidence of why it's a bad day as opposed to trying to turn it around. It's like I am suddenly the chief executive officer proving that I'm having a.
Janine Adams:Which doesn't really benefit you so much, does it?
Shannon Wilkinson:No, there's no need to.
Janine Adams:To wear the. To take that title.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right. But you know what I mean? It's like. It's like you have to, like, validate it or something. Like, you have to prove that, like, it's bad and. And this.
These are all the reasons why it's bad.
Janine Adams:Right. And I'm grumpy and. And that's why, you know, and I have a reason for it. Right. Rather than taking off the filter, thinking about the good stuff and.
Oh, I don't know, maybe not get. Be feeling grumpy anymore.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think it's. This, again, is good to do.
After having acknowledged that, you know, things may not be the way you want them to be or things may not be going the way you want them to go. You know, it feels really important to me to emphasize that to.
To recognize the things that are feeling difficult and then putting in place something or, you know, using a strategy to help you turn that around.
Janine Adams:Yeah, that's good, Shannon. Thank you. Aren't I lucky? See? Yeah. Here's a blessing. I can count.
You're my friend, and I get to get all this free advice from you specific to my needs by. In this particular podcast.
Shannon Wilkinson:It'S very convenient that you. I mean, I'm sorry that you're having a bad day, but it's very convenient that you were. So that we had a good topic for today's podcast.
Janine Adams:Yes. Right. Yeah. And I'd say one of the antidotes to a bad day, for me anyway, is, you know, having a good laugh with a friend. So.
Yeah, I hate picking up the phone, but. But even. Even picking up the phone and calling a friend and just getting a good laugh is a nice thing.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. Or, you know, maybe having a Go to video that makes you laugh or something, right?
Janine Adams:Or what's it called? Damn you, Autocorrect.
Shannon Wilkinson:That always makes me laugh.
Janine Adams:I can read the same ones over and over and I've still got tears.
Shannon Wilkinson:Running down my face. I forgot about dammy watercolor.
Janine Adams:I had two.
Shannon Wilkinson:I hope it's still there.
Janine Adams:I'm imagining it is.
Shannon Wilkinson:I'm sure it is.
Janine Adams:Yeah. I'm sure it makes that. That your. That website makes a ton of money in ads or something. It's not going anywhere. Yeah, yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:But. So we would like to hear from you, our listeners, how do you turn around a bad day? And if you try any of these things, let us know how it goes.
You can share on Facebook or Instagram @GettingToGoodEnough. On Twitter tgenough.
-GTGE. That's: Janine Adams:In Portland, Oregon, and Jeanine Adams in St. Louis, Missouri.
Shannon Wilkinson:And we hope that good enough is getting easier for you. I actually used to obsessively watch the reaction videos of people reading Damn you, Autocorrect.
Janine Adams:Can't believe you never turned me on that.
Shannon Wilkinson:I don't even. I mean, I'm sure they're just on YouTube, but I don't know why watching people react to it is even funnier than just reading them.
