I have tried to answer all your #Expedition questions in one episode!

What have I myself learnt about #leadership while leading an expedition about leadership? Of the joy of working with other women. About creating the right culture. Of listening ferociously. About digging myself out when I got lost. About leading real diversity. About holding to the task. And if keeping agile and playful.

What have the big personal insights been so far from the Expedition? There are so many. I chose four.

1 The language of leadership is not only framed by men but also by the English language and the commercial world. It badly needs to break out.

2 We must bring mothering and spirituality into the frame.

3 However much I don’t want to admit it, I am a product of my own generation and need to consciously reframe. Be this about #artificialintelligence or #transissues, #privilege or #internationalmoneyflows

4 We are going reframe our perceived weaknesses as women leaders and recognise that they are really our strengths. We will Embrace and claim the #impostersydrome #emotionalleadership and #irrationalthinking as the sources of #humility #empathy and #innovation.

What does 2023 look like for #WomenEmerging? Ah! now for this you will need to listen to episode 41.

Happy New Year to all, lots and lots of love, Julia

Julia Middleton 0:01

I've also...this is the 41st podcast. It has to be said I have absolutely loved producing podcasts for the last 40 weeks, talking to women about leadership. It's been a sort of almost a sort of my own little parallel expedition myself, and please forgive me because this episode, I'm not going to interview anybody. I'm just going to talk myself and tell you about where we've got to and where we're going, what what I've learned in the process of leading an expedition...Though I wouldn't recommend leading, leading an expedition about leadership. It's been a bit of a whirlwind for me in leadership, and and then maybe some thoughts about sort of early insights, the things that I think I'll be taking into Bellagio. Things about mothering and spirituality and language and reframing lots of things that have been sort of rushing around in my head as a result of the last 40 weeks. And then maybe some words about looking ahead with what happens after Bellagio. Maybe first just just go back for a second and remind you, where did the expedition come from? The truth is it came from me. And it came from me because I was doing so many talks about leadership for women empowerment programmes around the world, and increasingly realising that when I asked at the end, can I see the reading list for this leadership programme, they were all reading lists full of books written by men, or books written by women on how to succeed in a man's world. And as you well know, I'm not that interested in that. It came because everywhere you went during COVID, everybody was saying the world has changed. And my instinct is that the world won't change. It certainly won't change, if it's the same leaders running it, and leading it. And one of the quickest ways of diversifying the leadership of the world is to bring more women in. And yet at the same time, I met so many young women who are saying, if that's leadership, I don't want anything to do with it. And more and more realising that there was this enormous jigsaw with some huge pieces in it. An enormous jigsaw of women empowerment, with the huge pieces about how to inspire women, how to change the systems in which women operate or aren't allowed to operate; huge pieces of the jigsaw that are about the rights and the legalities that have to change and huge huge pieces of jigsaw which are about the networks and the support networks and building those networks that women need.

And th e more I look to the jigsaw, the mirror, to my mind, there was a tiny piece of the jigsaw in a corner of the jigsaw, it's a tiny, tiny piece that that to my mind was empty, which is an expression of leadership that made women say if that's leadership I'm in, as opposed to, if that's leadership, I don't want anything to do with it, we've got to have lots of women saying, that resonates with me. That's how I want to be as a leader. Count me in. It's a small piece of the jigsaw. But I deeply believe that it needs filling. And then on top of that, like all of us in life, there were some people I met who, who just encouraged me and said, now you're onto something here. I'm not even sure if they knew I was. But their encouragement was so important, at a key moment. And for them, I love them dearly. So if that's where it came from, that's where the expedition came from. I thought I'd try and capture some of the things that I think I've learned in the process of leading the expedition about leadership. I've chosen a few. Firstly, I learned or was reminded of by I don't know, but what a joy it is to work with women. The rubbish that's talked about, you know, women don't get along with each other, oh, boy, do we get on with each other, I think it's a people have to pretend we don't get on with us. Because if they actually had to recognise how much we do get on, there would be a real problem for lots of people, we do get on equally, there's lots of differences between us. And if I needed reminded me of that episode 35 of the podcast where I interviewed a lot of women who were talking about being brought up in one part of the world and moving to another part of the world. And suddenly realising that what they thought was, the position of women in society and how women behave, that they were brought up with is not necessarily true of all women, and that that things are different in different parts of the world. Seems obvious. But it was a very powerful episode illustrating that point. So the kindness of women and the joy of being with women. The second one was to be reminded how crucial it is that leaders create the right culture, the right atmosphere, so that people enjoy themselves, people who are very, very busy actually find moments to come to join in with what you're doing, because they enjoy it. But they also they feel its purpose, they feel its momentum, they feel its energy. And I know that sometimes I work for joy, when we find wonderful things. And over the years, I've always seen people thinking, why does she behave in such a silly fashion? I think that's, that's part of creating a culture. I think another part is to apologise. And I've had to apologise quite a few times, through the expedition as I've got things are wrong, and recognise that I've got things wrong and apologised and tried to put them back together again. And then also, I think, also recognising that that a huge part of creating the right atmosphere is to have Maria, who's our community manager, Maria, who's patience and kindness to everybody is something that makes makes you want to be as good as Maria. So creating the right atmosphere and trying to try to think through what it is that that has created that, um, I suspect you'd have to talk to some of the members of the expedition to really understand it. But those are some of the things I think we've got right. Then I've also been constantly reminded that that leaders listen, and leaders listen really, really hard. Because the truth is that the members of the team usually have the answers. They usually have the answers that leader can't see. And there are 24 extraordinary women on this expedition, and they will most always have the answers. And then on top of that, we also have Alyssa and Stephanie, Alyssa, who is the disrupter on the expedition, and Stephanie, who is the enabler on the expedition who helped us along and have been with us, right through the journey. And as you listen, of course, sometimes people see different things from you. A nd then that's, that's tough. You sit there thinking, do they see something different? Because they see more than I do? Or do they see something different because they see less than I do, and trying to figure that one through? Naughty Easy, but the heart of it is listening. And then recognising, I suppose also that there will always be in any big leadership job moments when you get utterly lost and totally miserable, that you need to share that so that the other human beings who are on the expedition with you understand that you're human as well, but equally not share it too much. Because they have to have confidence that, as the leader, I'm going to get them there.

So often, I have shared my fears and miseries with Lissa and Stephanie. And that sharing, and just talking through the issues has helped so much. I don't necessarily always agree with what they suggest, I should do. But it's the talking it through with people that you respect and value that has been so helpful. I've been reminded that that all teams are...their magic is their diversity. I've never, I don't think led a homogenous team. It's diverse teams that that produce the energy and the joy, and the ideas and the and the and the and the disruption and the tension and everything that's worth being there for. We've had all kinds of diversity, every sort of diversity, including, crucially, diversity in age; the youngest member of the expedition is 24. And I think I'm the eldest at 64. But we even with the diversity, we have still been a very privileged group of women and recognising that and recognising how much that blinds us and trying to, to cover some of those those issues and listen hard. But, you know, also recognising that in the diversity, there are challenges; it's a very, very global group. And there is a danger that the loudest voices get heard the most. And, as a leader, trying to make the diversity the strength, and let it, to love the diversity, while guiding it and leading it. Well, I hope I've got some of that right. Some of it, I haven't. And I've had to apologise. I know, on many occasions.

I think the last two things are just reminded of how tough it is sometimes as a leader to hold to the task, to make sure that there isn't a vision drift, to make sure that we do actually deliver an approach to leadership that resonates with women. And sometimes that's felt like holding the sea back, because members of the expedition have have intuitively widened the brief and looked at other issues that they're passionate about, around the systems, around the legalities, around all the other issues that hold women back, but somehow keeping ourselves to the task to that small piece of the jigsaw, that we are focused on filling. That's been when I've had to had conversations with Lissa and Stephanie to help me to encourage me to hold to the task.

So then, what am I thinking about? What are the big insights for me from the expedition, from the main expedition and my little tiny expedition of running the podcast that has gone in parallel with it? Here are some thoughts. There's no attempt to make them tidy. Because, as you will have discovered, I didn't necessarily have a tidy mind. But also because we haven't got to Bellagio yet. I, like everybody, will be bringing thoughts, and then we must work them all through. But the ones that I will be taking are, I've sort of tried to group them into four areas. One is well, the first one is that, you know, I said that one of the problems of the the empowerment programmes of women that I've come across is that the books about leadership that they're given to read are written by men. That isn't the only problem. It seems to me that the language of leadership is so heavily framed by men. But it's also so heavily framed by the English language, and so heavily framed by the vast majority of the authors are addressing are from the commercial world. Now, I didn't put many conditions on when choosing who the 24 women who are on the expedition would be. But one of the conditions was that every single member has to speak at least two languages. I think I've always known that being multilingual is it just gives you a different insight and some insight into the world. And very pragmatically, it also, I knew that, if we had lots and lots of languages amongst the members, that means that when the expedition is over, we can express the approach to leadership that resonates with women in many languages. But I think my thinking on that has gone even further, you know, the English language dominates writings about leadership. I'm sure someone will tell me I'm wrong, but it feels like it's pretty dominant, if not dominates. And the episode, the podcast episode 40, sort of reinforced that for in a big way, for me, we, you know, we, we decided that we had to come up with a definition of leadership, that, that we would start from on the expedition, and we did come up with a really good definition of leadership. And it sort of highlighted this point that, you know, leadership is leadership, and it's not gendered leadership, is leadership, whether you're a man or whether you're female or male. The thing that we're saying is that how you do leadership could be slightly different as a woman. And and it was, it was interesting, once we come up with that definition, we'd all agreed it, we then I went through the process of asking 12 members of the expedition to translate that into the native tongue. And that was the theme of last week's podcast number 40.

And if I needed anything reinforcing, this message of English has over framed the concept of leadership, the process of going through with 12 different women and 12 different languages. How to translate the definition, it's sort of absolutely made it obvious. It's so obvious it's striking. If you have a moment, listen to it. And particularly, to me, listen to Uma talking about yes, of course the strengths of the existence of English and the fact that for example, the expedition itself wouldn't be possible probably without a common language that is English, but also how she expresses the poverty of the English language, and how she, she she shares that she thinks in English, but her language of emotion is Bengali. And I left that episode just so sad that I love Uma. And the thought that I can never really communicate with her in Bengali, the language of her emotions is immensely sad. You know, the poverty of the English language and the poverty of translation and the illusion that Google in some way translate anything intelligently for us. So that and then the commercial world. The truth is that, as far as I can see, an enormous amount of leadership writing is written about or from the commercial world. And yet, some of the most powerful leaders there are, lead schools. Have a look at episode 32. They lead theatres, have a look at episode 31. They are midwives; have a look at episode 28. And what they know about leadership, and many, many other sectors, and many, many other women needs capturing because it is so much more powerful in many cases, than just the commercial angle, the corporate angle, the private sector angle.

So that's the first one that the sort of the tyranny of language. The second thing that's mulling and mulling over in my mind is is is the fact that when we talk about leadership, we very very seldom talk about mothering. And we very, very seldom talk about spirituality. And yet, both of those are such big issues for women in the world. I think I've changed my language on this one, I don't talk about motherhood, I talk about mothering. It was a big breakthrough when I can't remember who it was who was saying, you know, mothering is the right word, because it's the mothering skills, whether it's to your children or other people's children or other people generally or to the earth. What is what are those mothering instincts? And what are those? What's what is that learning around spirituality and the purpose of leadership that can get lost? That mothering and spirituality need to be essential elements of any approach to leadership that resonates with women.

And then I suppose the third big area is the realisation that that I am, however much I don't want to admit it caught in my own generation. I am 64. I think I knew how angry young women are with my generation. But I think if that has been reinforced, if our approach to leadership that resonates with women is too rational and sensible and collaborative, I think there are a lot of young women who have been going to be it won't resonate with them. In fact, they might even reject the approach to leadership that resonates with women. They are they are conscious of time ticking by, they are conscious, that they have to work well with more senior women, older women, because we can't wait for them to fix things as they come through. We have to get a collaboration between young women and older women going. And I think that's really hit hard. I think I'm caught in my own generation. So I think up to now I have thought of AI as something a bit frightening, something that may be trying to undermine leaders. And I think, I think I've changed my mind, AI, Artificial Intelligence is, is another tool. It's a collaborator, for leaders and leaders need, including me to change my mindset around this. That AI is only as good as we as leaders brief it, debrief it, debunk it and disagree with it. If we don't set the parameters for it, right, if we don't analyse the conclusions of it, right. If we don't debunk it and reduce people's fear of the word AI, and if we don't occasionally disagree and overrule its outcomes, then AI will become a threat. But it could be one of the most amazing collaborators in the world. I think I'm caught in my generation. I don't think I've ever been particularly bigoted about trans issues. But I think I have been pretty blind to them. And I'm determined to do something about that. And to try and find a way of expressing myself on the subject. That means that I don't offend people. But I think I'm caught in my generation, I need to catch up. I think my generation has perhaps also been quite obsessed with policies and rights and influencing governments and public bodies, and slightly blind to influencing how money flows in the world. And how important it is that women play their part in defining that, I think, I think as a generation, I have been aware of my privilege, and uncomfortable with it and trying to find a way to to sort of frame it in a way that works. And I think there are some members of the expedition who have framed privilege as responsibility and I found that very helpful.

And then I think the other one is that, certainly, I think is a generation I have. I have no let me get away of expressing this right. I think I haven't questioned the illusion of meritocracy that exists in many organisations. There is no meritocracy in lots of organisations. But there is an illusion of meritocracy in many organisations, and it is an illusion. And it has some really quite wicked consequences. The men think it's a meritocracy, and therefore say, if there aren't women around here, that must be because they can't hack it. And the women think that it's a meritocracy. And if I aren't, if I'm not succeeding, it must be because I'm not good enough. And I think putting a pin in this illusion of meritocracy is something I maybe it's just my blindness, it's not my generations blindness, I'm hiding behind my generation, but I think, need to get better at that. And then I think the last big area for me is is reframing all these perceived weaknesses of women and reframing them as our strengths. I don't know if you're occasionally accused of being emotional. Because you're a woman. And I always say now back well, do you have a problem with emotion? Can I help you? Are you struggling to be emotional? Or when you get accused or when you accuse yourself of imposter syndrome, now, I always say, well, you know, if the alternative to the imposter syndrome is thinking you know, everything, I'd rather have impostor syndrome any day, give it me any day. Or the one I get accused of quite often is of being irrational. And now, the answer is yes. We need a bit of irrational if we're going to get some new ideas. And we need a different definition of what rational is. I think we do have to reframe perceived women's weaknesses into their strengths.

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