This episode is a brainstorming session that Steph & Nic decided to record and share! In it, you’ll hear them getting to know each other’s stories a bit more and exploring ideas for how they might join forces in their work and creativity this season. 

They discuss:

• The effect of self-withholding on connective creative flow
• Accessing neutrality when it comes to our experiences of wounding and mistrust
• Their histories and identities in parenting
• Where parenting and awareness experimentation intersect

and of course, much more. 

You get to witness their organic arrival to an idea for working together. (You heard it here first!)

🧪 This episode's Lab Partners:

• Steph is a 2/4 Emotional Manifestor with two kiddos, aged 6 and 7
• Nic is a 4/6 Sacral Generator with two kiddos, aged 2 and (almost) 9

You can find more about them and their other lab partners at kelseyrosetort.com/labpartners, including bodygraphs, natal charts, and ways to connect with their work.

💖 Stay tuned: New episodes of LAB PARTNERS are released weekly-ish, usually on the Moon’s day.

Intro & Music by Noah Souder-Russo

The laboratory is a space of intimacy and mirroring.

I'm just gonna rip with it and see what wants to come out.

Something's happening.

I was just thinking that.

A lab.

Partner is someone who I can share my incomplete, uncooked, unfinished work with.

Laboratory feels like laboratory in general is.

A womb space for all of we.

Are mothering and creation.

I'm having an embodied experience, stretchy, like, vibrant in this container so far.

Relating in ways that feel energetically congruent for me, relating to other people and relating to myself and in collaborative community.

As a human who helped me find the lightness and like the humor.

The creative process is fucking dope.

And also it's fucking like humbling.

To.

Fall apart and be witnessed by all of us.

Laboratory.

A laboratory.

A laboratory is an incubator, a place to generate, to initiate, to guide, to.

Mirror collaboratory, stretching my capacity.

Lab Partners is a behind the scenes conversation series amongst eight folks who are in a season of experimentation with creativity, authenticity, relationship, collaboration and visibility.

We're letting you in on our processes as we unpack them together.

Each of us speak the language of human design and some of us astrology too.

These frameworks for awareness have supported our embodied differentiation and relational understanding.

We invite listeners to observe us through these lenses too.

Today's conversation is between me, Nick Strack, a 4, 6 sacral generator with two kiddos who are 2 and almost 9.

Years old, and me, Steph Hansen, 2 4, emotional manifester with two kids, 6 and 7 years old.

You can learn more about our astrology and designs in the show notes and find even more about us and our other collaborators@kelseyrosetort.com backslash lab partners.

It's a forward slash, but okay.

Dang it.

Forward slash.

Hello, dear listeners.

Hello, Nick.

I just realized we didn't talk about who would be leading this and I assumed that you would be.

Oh, okay, okay, great.

I just realized that.

Is that okay?

Okay, yeah, totally.

Totally.

Okay, so we are here.

Nick and I are here, lab partners.

We have not known each other before.

What day did we start?

Like August.

August 6th.

August 6th.

Okay.

And here we are in October.

No, not yet.

September 29th.

Don't rush it.

Okay.

Yeah, give me the rest of my Septembers.

We are.

Yeah, we're trying an experiment today.

The experiment within the experiment, letting you all in on what it is like to, you know, feel the vibes with someone else and, you know, have kind of this like, oh, I'm drawn to you.

This has been my whole obsession with collaboratory has been like, it's this opposite setup right from what we're used to.

It's the, like, we're not.

We're not all rallying around a thing, but we're rallying around the vibes.

Of.

One another and then deciding or, like, determining within that what to create from there.

Yes.

I love how you described that because I had, like, an image.

Let me see if I can.

It's.

There was.

Yeah.

Something about the difference between, like, a bunch of people around a table looking at one product and being like, that's what we need to get into the world.

But sometimes that happens, like, without bringing people's whole personhoods forward along the way or something.

And so it's almost like we are all looking at each other around a table.

There's nothing in the middle.

We are each responsible for ourselves and our integrity and how we are naming what we have coming up for us and sharing and stuff.

And then we're looking at each other like, okay, so what might we want to put here on this table?

Like, that's kind of.

I love the table aspect of it, though, because it does feel like such a.

Like an easy way to differentiate the two things of, like, the two ways.

Like, there's either a product on the table that we need to get out, or we have a bunch of people who are committed to collaborating and seeing what they might want to put out together.

It's, like, slightly different, but feels completely different in my body, the table tooth.

Like that I'm.

I'm seeing a womb.

A womb table.

Bring the womb.

And yeah, we all are the, you know, the.

The tenders or.

And also we're in it all the things, but.

Oh, my gosh.

Yes.

Yeah.

But we're.

So.

Yeah.

We have determined that we're.

Well, first of all, also, we.

We complete each other.

For those of you listening, if you want to look at our designs, our human designs and our astrology, though I don't.

Yeah.

Speak a lot of astrology.

But the.

The human.

In the human design way, we.

All of what.

All of the centers that Nick has undefined, I have defined and vice versa.

Yes.

So I have the.

For folks who are just listening and not looking at our charts, I have the G to the sacral to the root.

And Steph has everything else to find.

Everything else.

So I plug right in there, that little column up the middle.

That's right.

Oh, yeah.

We have 59.

We have 59.6.

Yes.

We make the 59.

6.

And let me look.

We look.

Oh, wow.

I believe I have the.

I have the 29 to your 46 maybe.

Wait, I looked.

I made a collaborative chart.

Everybody listen to our amazing discoveries as we look through our charts.

2946, the channel of discovery.

1949, the channel of synthesis.

1057 channel of perfected form.

And the 659 channel of mating.

Wow.

Dang, dude.

Quite a few.

That's great.

Yes.

And these feel really powerful.

Like these particular electromagnetics.

Ooh.

Fun, fun, fun, fun.

A lot of G stuff happening.

Yes.

So to our listeners, Steph and I have basically identified that we both are interested in collaborating with each other.

And we don't know what the core like intention of our collaboration would be, nor do we know anything about how it would come to life.

And so we decided to record this conversation where we're literally as much as we've established is like we're both parents, we're both very interested in self awareness stuff.

We're here in collaboratory together.

This is not all we've established, but I wanted to give you a little sense of it.

I complete Steph.

Steph completes me in the human design definition way.

And we are both interested in discovering like what, what feels like a fun way for us to explore collaborating on a project together where we will invite other people in to be like engaging with us.

But having basically not known each other since before August 6th and not necessarily knowing each other's like life stories so much like.

I feel like there's a part of that which is so interesting for me to jump into considering collaboration with someone who's like life story, I don't know, but that I'm such a clear yes for being in conversation with.

And so I like the part where I get to discover some of your history along the way, but that feels different for me.

What about for you?

Like, what are your.

I wonder what some of your collaboration experiences have been in the past.

Well, before I go there.

Yeah, yeah, that all resonates for me too.

It's been so fun.

We have been, you know, on the back channels telling each other a little bit about our, our lives and that's been.

Yeah, I've had the experience of like wow.

Yeah.

The.

I love hearing the, the backstories of.

Of all the lives.

For sure.

We both have the also fours in our.

In our profiles.

Fourth line.

Yes.

So we're into Chitty Chatty.

Chitty Chatty.

Chitty Chatty Gathering together.

Yeah.

Yes, for sure.

Okay.

What has been my history with collaboration?

It's been a A joy in most cases.

Here's where I've gotten hung up.

Here is the doing every little piece of it together.

If my.

My former business partners are listening, they will not be surprised by this.

We.

We have worked through this quite a lot.

But that always.

And maybe that's a manifesto thing and like an undefined sacral thing is that mechanically as a manifester, I'm here for initiation and visioning and I'm rarely there completion or I really, really struggle with completion.

And you know, that.

That has been one hang up for me, has been, you know, in times where it's like, no, I want.

We want everybody involved at every single step of the way.

I have much more of a.

Like, well, why don't we.

Why don't we divide and, you know, accomplish or.

Here's your strength.

Here's my strength.

Let's bring it together in the synth, in the synthesis.

Yeah.

Yes, for you.

I love that.

I was just thinking about how I think.

Okay.

I've often had such a.

Like, I've just been.

I've lived in my mind and my conditioning and my mental thoughts and ideas, and I feel like I have pulled my body hither and yon from my mind for so long that when I think back to the time.

Oh, I see a red cardinal.

Hi.

Okay.

That was a sweet visit.

They just flew away now.

They were just like perfectly framed.

You're going to look up red cardinal.

I'm going to look up red cardinal.

Keep checking.

Get my book.

I love it.

Okay.

O.

Sorry I hit the mic.

Okay.

So, yeah, like in collaboration, I think I've been so, so heady.

And when I think about stuff I've done with folks in the past, often it's been my friends.

Hello.

And I think while the stuff that we did together was cool, like, I.

We've run workshops and stuff or I've brought folks in to add, to have them like, teach human design to my.

To a container that I was running or something like that.

I feel like my experience with collaboration has generally been like relatively smooth.

And also I would say we didn't get into some of that opportunity, like what you're talking about, of figuring out like, whose strengths are what and where do you feel like you shine and where do you feel like you'd rather pass that off to someone else, you know, I think we did because some of the things I did were relatively shorter term.

It was kind of.

We could just do it and then do the workshop and be done.

And there wasn't so much of an Ongoing thing.

Like, whereas with yours, you had the initiation and then there was the ongoing, which went for, like, temporally for a long time for the group you started.

Right.

Is that the one?

Yes.

Yeah.

The two colleagues now, we ran a.

We ran the yoga teacher training for.

Yes, yes.

Seven years together.

Yes.

Okay.

So mine have all been very short by comparison, and so I think I haven't.

Yeah.

This feels like my first real, like, whoa.

We're discovering each of, like, we are proficient at identifying some of our own strengths.

We're discovering what the other folks that are in collaboratory are skilled at and what they're looking for.

Right.

Like, what are they offering?

What are they wanting to receive?

And so, yeah, for me, it feels quite playful.

And I also am aware of how in the past in collaborations, sometimes I've maybe held things back or because I don't want to.

Oh, I don't want to put too many ideas in, or what if someone seems really committed to one idea?

I don't want to ruin the mood and throw something else on the table.

Like, so I think I've had a lot of noticings in our processes here in collaboratory of where I've held back a lot, but I haven't really had any necessarily, like, negative group.

I love how I said that.

And then my mind immediately was like, that's not true.

Immediately flashed on the opposite of that sentiment.

So, like, yes, I definitely have had some, like, intense and negative experiences in groups, and I would say it's nothing that has stuck.

It doesn't feel like it still has a hook in me.

So I feel more open to the collaborative, like, exploration of things versus, like, oh, I'm coming in with a lot of wounding that I'm tending to, which also was fine.

I am curious, Nick, if you care to.

What have you noticed holding back so far?

Oh.

Just like, literally suggestions, little ideas.

Like, when someone was like, hey, here's a wording that I was thinking of for introducing lab partners, the podcast.

And I was like, ooh, Like, I saw it.

I noticed inside of myself, I was like.

Like, there was, like, something crunchy in the wording or some.

I don't even remember at this point, but there I had some sort of a somatic, like, a constraint feeling, a feeling of constraining or constriction, which for me is usually my sign for, like.

Like, something here is not quite sitting with me.

So even just going back and being, like, asking for clarification about some of the words that Kelsey had used in that suggestion, really continuing to Ask until I felt clear.

Like that is something I have tended to withhold in the past.

I'll let go and be like, well, it doesn't matter if I understand because like they're the one owning that part.

You know, like just how I'm really noticing where in the past I've maybe habit.

Habitually avoided my responsibility for things.

But try to be like, well, if I just don't talk about it or if I stay quiet enough, nobody will know or nobody will ask, you know.

But I also am recognizing like often when I actually put something on the table, it at least just kind of create some movement.

Like it, it just, it gives some.

It gives us stuff to respond to or not.

And I think that's where some of the conversation that I had with Kelsey about our open head stuff, which I believe that pod that will be released before this one.

So for anyone who's interested in hearing more about my relationship with having a completely open head and learning how to like navigate the expansion and constriction that I experience.

Experience in getting really big into ideas, but then also feeling tension about the uncertainty of ideas, I think that's like a, that's kind of an edge that I've been going through.

Like what is this?

Traversing.

Traversing?

Yes, I've been like kind of traversing and noticing my somatic experiences around.

When do I have more ideas, when do I constrict?

When do I feel like I want to share?

When do I feel like I want to hide?

So I think that's been a lot of what I've been noticing around my withholding as it relates to creative stuff.

As you said, the kind of the realization of like or.

Or the practice now of.

Yep.

Just bringing it through, bringing it forward.

Despite some of the hesitancy.

Yeah.

Like the.

What came to mind is just the.

Or what I felt actually in my body was kind of this forward momentum.

Right.

Like that it just keeps.

It keeps things rolling.

And I identify with that so much too of like what I've been holding back, I think is probably a lot.

My wounding is around being too much and you know, also like sacrificing myself for the, for the community, let's say.

Yes.

Right.

Like I need to.

My individuality, my authenticity is secondary to the well being of the container, of the group.

Of the container.

Yes.

And what I'm.

What I think what we're getting to experiment with here.

What I.

And honestly I would say that I haven't been as.

I'm glad we're having this Conversation.

Because it's kind of marking it for me of just like, oh, yes, do.

Do it more.

This is not just a container for, you know, to bring our creations through.

We are the creations.

We are by.

By doing this kind of deconditioning work.

That is what we're primarily probably even bringing through.

Right.

So the.

Just the.

I don't know.

I'm.

I'm seeing it as a mirror to you.

Right.

As you said, like, okay, I'm trying to do that more and, you know, keep asking for the clarification and just wanting to mark two for you and me, for our awareness.

You know, you're like, the words.

The words coming in.

You have a somatic reaction to the words.

And you're such a.

It's just so fun talking with you because of your relationship to words and, you know, artistic expression with.

With the words.

So, yeah.

So it is like, it's just so neat to observe how it works.

Right.

They go in maybe in the.

The all comes through the open head and down into your.

And your body comes up with a reaction.

Yes.

And, you know, there's.

I love.

Also from human design.

Right.

No authority below the.

Or above the throat are.

You know, when it's coming from our bodies, we really can trust it.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes.

This trust piece, right?

Oh, that.

Like the.

If it's coming from our bodies, that we can really trust it.

Like, literally.

Okay.

I'm getting, like, goosebumps on my head.

I feel like that that's part of what, like, as it relates to you and me and our collaboration, like, something about, like, that phrase.

I'm going to write it down.

Okay.

Because I love that so much.

Like, essentially, to me, what I'm hearing in your share is this, like, affirmation of our connections with our own inner authorities.

Right.

Like, each of ours in the group that we're showing up learning how do I.

And tell me if I'm missing you and what I'm saying, please.

Like, what I was hearing in that part at the end of, like, yes, it's about bringing our creations through, but really it's about, like, how we act as the creative, like, channel or something.

And so it's kind of like, where am I noticing little knots or bumps or kinks or something where when I massage that out, then energy can flow more cleanly and, like, fluidly through me.

Does that feel true to you?

Absolutely.

And we're.

I was listening to a channeler last night who was talking about the.

I mean, so it's so funny because you Know, like, as I'm taking in stuff from elsewhere, it's like all filtering into our experience in collaboratory.

But they were talking about this, you know, communities coming together and really realizing that we are one organism.

So we are.

You know, I always go back to then the body of, you know, like, if my, like, what if my hand said, oh, I'm too much, I will go over here and you would then just have, you know, my hand is tied behind my back and I don't have access to what it.

You know, to its contribution.

And if I, If I can kind of put all of us in our little, you know, small eight person container that we've created when we're.

When we're kind of stif or because it is all hap.

It's all happening for all of us.

I believe it all happens on the inside.

None of us are openly saying to one another, hey, you're talking too much.

I don't want to hear your.

For me, it would be like my, you know, ifs lens on things.

Like, nobody is saying that to me, but you better believe there's a part inside of me who's like, nobody wants to hear that right now.

You're too much.

Right?

Like, yeah.

And yeah.

So I think we're all kind of consciously and unconsciously monitoring each other or monitoring.

Monitoring ourselves, rather not each other and not maybe blocking ourselves from the full expression and what we're.

I don't know.

I think what you've been talking about too is like, as we start to kind of experiment and this is, you know, we've been talking about this for the longest time of like, how therapeutic this is.

You know, Kelsey's talked a lot about, like, this is her kind of recovery, her therapy for.

For the creative process as we trust more and more and welcome each other more and more.

With the kinks are massaged and the energy can flow.

Oh, my God.

Is that the container?

Could be.

Say more.

I always have to start somewhere.

I always have to start somewhere.

It's.

It feels very probably.

It's probably very generator of me because the way I imagine, literally the way I imagine my energy is that it's just like bouncing off of things.

Which I think is the whole like to respond.

But my experience of it is literally like I need to throw something in to this field though, to like create.

Yeah, like to start the motion.

And what I.

You said like when the mass, when the kinks are massaged, the creativity can flow or something like that.

And I was thinking, well, that was.

Also the Energy stuff, what you said.

Yeah, Right, right, right.

So then now I'm back to our.

Like, what we're also doing here, which is ideating on a possible container to offer folks together.

Yeah, yeah.

And so.

Okay, so that's something like.

Yeah.

There was something that felt really important about like, when the kinks are massaged, the energy can flow.

It feels very simple, but also like, so nuanced in the actual daily lived application of that sentence.

But not really the sentence, but the actual, like, lived embodiment of it.

Yeah.

When the kinks are massaged, the energy.

Can flow also coming back to the.

Right.

If it's coming from our bodies, we can trust it.

And then the kinks, I guess, are the.

The.

I don't know, the wounding that.

Or that is the mistrust.

Yes.

That blocks the flow.

Yes.

When the kinks.

I was thinking about, like the.

My literal physical patterns of constraint and like.

Like trying to just scoop my body around, you know, like, there's so many shapes that my body takes fairly habitually, which are based on in constriction, avoidance, withholding, like that kind of stuff.

And so, yeah, like, that.

That really lands for me that some of those, like, kinks and things are where.

What did you say?

The wounding.

What was it?

Or the wounding.

Yeah, the wounding.

The mistrust.

The mistrust.

Yes, yes, yes.

Body's energy.

Yeah.

I love it and I love that it can be neutral, like trust and mistrust.

Like, it makes sense to me that I would have mistrust of myself, like just my own internal experience.

It makes sense that I would have mistrust both of myself and also of others based on which part of me I'm accessing internally.

I just love though, that, like, being able to.

I like the idea of being able to support folks in toggling that awareness of like, you know, like leaving behind the this is right, this is wrong kind of stuff and really starting to embody, like, this is what's true for me right now.

That part and being like, okay, so I'm noticing I have some mistrust here.

Or I'm noticing that I'm feeling more.

You know, my energy moves more swiftly or cleanly when I move in this way versus in this way.

Like, those are kind of the.

Often for me, it's like through contrast that I can pull into focus.

Like, what.

What is my energy wanting something like that?

Oh, I love it.

There's.

What came through me just now was kind of a reminder of our.

Of our roles as parents and probably Because I have a lot of reaction to my own body.

This, I think this applies for, for many of us.

But like manifester wise, how I've come to understand it is right.

Like I'm a freight train moving in a direction.

I have something I'm trying to do and then when I get interrupted or, or blocked or whatever it is, I get angry and, and my, or I should say my, my part, My angry parts or my parts who are like wanting to help that train keep moving are coming to my defense.

And gosh, there is a lot of that happening in, in parenting and.

Right.

Like I want to say, it's not just all this is not a time for me to just like complain about parenting.

It is more, it is more related to like.

I understand also that the blocks, right.

That, that come up, there is something there.

Right.

They're not like they're such gifts as well.

Right.

As we get to know what the blocks are, whether they're the, you know, the kinks of the, you know, conditioning that we've received just as people.

Yeah.

And, or the activation that we have as we support these small people in their, in their growth, becoming authentic in their own ways.

Yeah.

We're collaborating with them too.

We are.

I was just hearing like there's this like, it's like a collaboration cat.

I'm thinking of the cascade.

It's like a cascade of awareness.

There's this cascade of uniqueness.

I think what I'm, I'm like putting the words to it as I notice this experience.

But it's something about how like you and I were raised not so much to be aware of, like our, let's say innate essences, our true home frequency, whatever you can describe in a billion different ways, but essentially like, who am I?

Like, who's my unique nature?

And, and how do I know myself over time?

How can I meet myself continuously over time?

And what are the skills required for me to know myself, to know how to meet and understand another, to relate to difference in a way where like, I don't have to lose my whole sense of self if somebody else comes with like a different take on something that I can remain like, like solid in who I am and also be like, tell me about what's true for you.

Like, I can meet them on a person to person level.

And I feel like all of those things are missing in current child rearing.

And so now I'm like learning those things as a grown up newly and trying to also like integrate them and integrate ways of talking to myself to Others like all of these things just as examples.

And at the same time, I'm like, wow.

I'm just learning about nervous systems.

Wow.

My children have nervous systems.

Wow.

We have four nervous systems with competing needs in this one single household on a completely daily basis.

And, like, not everyone is going to get their needs met all the time.

And how do we navigate all of that?

And this part where you're talking about, like, you just want to be in your zone and then little humans want to come and have you in their zone, like, that navigation of it.

Oh, my God.

And we just feel like there's this self awareness thing where I'm like, reflecting on how my parents raised me and where they were at and what I'm wanting and trying to give to myself and trying to also get from other people.

Because there's this aspect of, like, co regulation that I did not consistently receive as a child.

So there are parts of me who are now, like, is it safe to come out?

And like, I'm finding, like, in my relationship with you and in.

With other folks in collaboratory, I'm finding other reliable co regulators for me for, like, all these little other parts to come out and discover, like, is it okay?

Is it gonna be okay?

And also, yeah, like, trusting in myself to be able to tend to whoever shows up inside of me.

Let's mark too for.

For this container.

You know, the question's real basic, but, like, who am I?

Yeah, I know we've had that talk a little bit too in collaboratory of, like, the.

Yeah.

Kelsey's comment of, you know, being a mother didn't change me.

And, you know, we.

We talked about that a little bit, you know, with the two of us.

And I would say that there's nothing that has pushed me harder into knowing who I am.

Yes.

And I wouldn't say, like, yeah, I. I feel that change in evolution has taken place, but yeah, some.

Something.

I don't know.

How's your sacral.

Sacral says responding to, like, adding the parenting element into this container or possible collaboration.

I wonder.

Okay, so here's what I just wrote down, which is a step before the parenting part, because you said you were reflecting back.

Who am I?

Yeah.

And then I wrote down generators, projectors, manifestors, reflectors.

Like, what generators are here to know themselves.

I just, like, I. I don't know.

My brain wanted to catch some of those phrases.

It's no.

Generators know themselves.

Projectors know themselves through the other.

Yep.

To know the other.

And through knowing the other, they know.

Oh, okay, got it.

Got it.

Thank you.

Know the other than themselves through such.

Okay manifestors.

We're here to know our impact.

Yes.

And we've been really judging even how we relate to that phrase.

Yep.

Which has been so fun.

And then what are reflectors?

Do you know reflectors?

A good question.

I'm sorry, reflectors.

Sorry, y'.

All.

I am not.

I have a new reflector friend though.

So I feel like I'm probably gonna start like an in person friend.

So I'm probably going to start learning more about reflectors just because I have such a fun judge with them and I want to under.

I haven't had like a reflect.

I haven't had a reflector friend who has actually I don't even know that I've really had one.

So I haven't learned about design.

Like I haven't learned about reflectors yet.

I haven't had an interest in it.

Sorry, Reflectors pitch.

Pitch for Kelsey's human or her or their living.

Your design.

Oh my gosh.

Yes.

I was just going to look back because I have those slides.

Maybe I can find it by the end.

Yeah, reflectors are here.

Or okay.

Okay.

But so I'm wondering.

So those on those.

Man.

Yeah.

Parenting really is.

I really do.

Now that I've written that and I'm sitting with your question.

Parenting feels like such a accessible, fun, fruitful through line for me of like the.

In terms of like pathways to awareness.

Like the parent child relationship can be a very big pathway for awareness for me.

Right.

And so yeah, I do sacral does say.

Yes, I do feel like it would be so.

I think now that I'm really even just feeling into it, I'm like, oh my God, that'd be so fun.

Like getting to talk about folks designs.

But in the way where it's not like I'm telling you who your child is, but together we're talking about like how are we relating to ourselves and how are we discovering who our children are?

I think really for me often it just, it's like in service of connection, like authentic connection and God, like I feel like everything can be born from there, you know, like just like the relational.

Like the relational connection is like a strong relational foundation.

I feel like so much can come from that place and supporting other parents specifically in relating to themselves and their children in this way definitely sounds very fun to me.

Do you.

Would you feel like talking a little bit about your journey to parenting?

I've heard quite a bit from you about and I love hearing about it.

Anytime we talk about It.

But your.

Your parenting is very inspirational to me and I'm curious if it was always something that you wanted to do or how.

How did you find yourself becoming a parent?

I know I asked you all these open ended questions.

Do you want to do it?

Let's trust your shake, girl.

Yes, yes, yes.

No, I. I have a.

You asked enough questions that I like, made a story beautiful.

It was great.

Yeah.

So my mom is Korean and my whole.

That side, like my whole maternal family is Korean.

And so my grandfather did not speak very much English and my relationship with him primarily was like through my mom.

Like she would translate for us or he would write me letters in Korean and she would then translate them as well.

On this particular day, she had called me to check and verify that I had called my grandfather to wish him a happy new Year.

And I got so I was like, mom, get the fuck out of my business.

Like, I know.

I see your face.

Your face for a second.

It was like a sweet, like, oh.

But then, yeah, like, because I know my mom meant well by that.

Right?

Like she's meant so well.

And I also know that she had a lot of obligational rules about how family was supposed to interact with other members of the family and in what ways and on what days.

And I.

There was a thing of like we were having this fight on the phone because she was trying to make sure I had told him.

I was saying, that's not your business.

And she basically was saying something like, well, it is because if he thinks you're an, then that's my problem.

Like, essentially she didn't say those words, you know, but it's the like her parenting of like how I show up in the world is a direct reflection of her parenting of me and is worthy of judgment.

Right.

Like there's like these things that are just coming out of her mouth is like completely obvious, plain as day.

Things which I understand given conditioning and particularly like in Korea.

And she was raised primarily by her grandma after she was 8.

So like very old school, kind of more traditional Korean parenting or like Korean.

Yeah.

Upbringing.

So we're having this fight and I got so pissed and she said something like, like something about how I was just like, just terrible or something.

And my last.

God, I was so proud of this zinger.

I was just like, well, who do you think raised me to be like this, right?

Like, oh God, so we're both.

And then she hung up on me and I Had this huge cry, and I went to Eric, and I was just like, I.

If this is what parenthood is going to be, like, I don't want to be one.

Like, I don't fucking want this.

I do not want this for me.

And I ended up calling my mom back, like, half an hour later.

We made up, and it was totally fine.

But it really, truly did start.

I think it.

It ended up being this real catalyst for me to explore the parent relationship from a new, different lens.

Instead of the lens of, like, well, let me just recreate, like, unconsciously recreate, either the same or the exact opposite of what I experienced.

Like, let me try to be more intentional about who I actually am, what's important to me.

Take into consideration cultural conditioning, what kinds of access we have to resources, how do we want to raise our kids, like, all kinds of stuff.

And so that really, Eric and I. I then started a book club for just me and Eric, which was called Parenting Parenting Before Becoming Parents Book Club.

Amazing.

Yes.

And we read the Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel and T. Payne Bryson.

Love that book.

It definitely.

I think the conversation with my mom, followed very closely by reading the Whole Brainchild by Dan Siegel, was very helpful for me because I think it kind of laid out for my brain like, hey, there actually really could be a different way for you to relate to yourself and to your children should you decide to become a parent.

Like, that's kind of what I took away from it.

And I loved the neuroscience aspect of it.

Like, I have a cognitive science degree in college.

I studied a lot of human behavior stuff and linguistics and sociology and neuroscience.

And so this.

It was, yeah, like, the combination of the fight plus the book, plus, like, knowing on some level that, like, I wanted to influence children in some meaningful way.

Yeah, that all kind of started the ball rolling.

And then I didn't get pregnant for another two years, and.

And I got pregnant, like, after one cycle.

We tried one time I didn't get pregnant, and then the next cycle I was pregnant.

So it was, like, very fast, I suppose, in that way, because my mind was prepared for, oh, it takes so long.

And, like, all the stories of averages which only matter sometimes.

Or I was like, oh, actually, I didn't.

I got pregnant fast.

I had a precipitous birth.

The whole thing, from the first contraction till I was holding my baby was two and a half hours.

Like, it was insane.

But that's kind of like my.

My intentional parenting journey.

I think a lot of things happened in that January.

And that.

That's what started that little cascade of parenting things that.

That speaks to that whole contrast that you were speaking of.

Yeah.

Before, too.

Just like, oh, yeah, that's so.

That's so Generator in response.

Oh, my gosh.

Yes.

Yeah.

So cool.

What about you?

Tell me more about you, because you've got.

I've heard some of your stories, but I want to know more about your history with your relationship with.

Yeah.

Wanting.

Becoming, being parent.

I wanted to forever.

I can't remember not wanting to, you know, kind of one of those little kid, like, I want to be a mom.

I don't know what kind of romantic idea I had about it, but it kind of like it as I. I feel into it, like, it really has been constant and steady.

And one of my best therapist friends, we became parents sort of at a similar time.

And some.

A way that she had put it was, you know, I loving all the aspects of relationality.

You know, I loved being actually the daughter of my parents.

I love being an adult child of my parents.

I love, you know, being a, you know, a sister and who are a friend, all of those.

A partner and this facet of like, oh, I want to be a parent to a child.

Like, that sounds so interesting, let's say.

And I think that for a long time, you know, as I was doing maybe my healing work and growing and, you know, becoming a counselor, I always have had quite an easy way of relating with kids.

And for a while, I couldn't tell.

Like, I was like, should I be a teacher?

My parents, who are both teachers, who were like, no, don't become a teacher.

And so honestly, I became a therapist partly because I became a counselor because I didn't have to take the gre really.

Okay.

I was like, okay, well, what's the.

And I was more interested in the, you know, social, emotional, you know, the education component is all great and fine, but it was really more the relationship that I was interested in and working with kids.

So.

And I was married.

I was in my first marriage, and, you know, I got married at 23, and we had a great time and kind of grew up together and sort of it was so automatic.

It was like, oh, yeah, someday we'll have kids.

You know.

And then it really became.

Well, it became a struggle.

Then we did go through a lot of, like, infertility stuff.

We never did ivf, thank God, but no shade to IVF at all.

But I'm so Grateful.

I didn't go through that process in that relationship especially.

And then that partner really determined eventually, like, hey, I just don't want this.

And so then there was a, like, okay, do I want this relationship or do I want a kid?

And, yeah, I just kept, like, sitting with that question.

There was never, you know, no, no truth in the now for the emotional authority folks like me.

So it took a long time to kind of sort through.

And then eventually, yeah, we did, we did divorce.

And then, yeah, so then I got in this, this new.

New.

It's so funny.

It's not new anymore.

We've been together for 10 years, but we got in this relationship to my, my marriage to Ryan, and we were both really clear that that's what we wanted.

And it was kind of like a. Oh, yes, great.

We had our starter marriages to really, like, work out a lot of kinks.

And then as we stepped into the, that was really our focus, you know, pretty primarily from the beginning.

I was whatever, 36, 37, something like that.

By then, geriatric.

I had already, like, been in.

Right.

I'd already been in, like, you know, fertility stuff.

That was hilarious.

Going back to the fertility clinic and that with, with Ryan, and they're like, oh, so you're, you're the new one.

You're the new guy.

But we didn't have to do much.

And then I did, I actually did do some, like, enter.

Yeah.

One of my friends kind of tuned into like, some grandmother.

What?

My grandmother's energy.

And yeah, we, I went through this kind of energy healing with a person who helped me unload some intergenerational trauma for my grandmother.

And two weeks later, I was pregnant.

No way.

Yep.

Wow.

Wild.

So, yeah.

And then I'm so glad I didn't know I was a manifester back then, honestly, because, you know, I, I, it was hard.

Talk about, like, oh, man.

Like, you know, 36 hour labor and, you know, they took Leela right away.

She was like blue face.

It was quite.

I didn't ever realize, like, how traumatic it was.

I was in the, you know, days of like, 36 hour labor.

Plus then eventually I got the epidural and then.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

But a couple friends were there and they were, they told me like a year later, they were like, oh, yeah, that was real scary.

Oh, so then she was.

Yeah, in the, in the NICU for 12 hours before I saw her.

But I have to say, I was, like, so wiped and dazed.

I was like, oh, my God, I'm just gonna sleep here.

Yeah.

Yes.

And then that transition to motherhood, I was like, oh, well, this is interesting.

I am like, this is really hard.

This is really hard.

I.

All of a sudden, I'm like, so underslept and so under resourced and I'm so glad to have got, you know, again, I'm so glad to have gone through it.

I'm so glad to have gone through it with Ryan.

And like, all the.

It all has.

We've come full circle.

We're in a really good.

I'm just so grateful the relationship, you know, in the end, here's the.

Here's the thing as I come to where I sit right now and being a parent to two kids there, yes, indeed, I was meant for this.

I knew, right, like something in me, right, my body knew that, like, this is indeed one of the things I'm here to do on the planet is be the parent to these kids and feel this, you know, do this dance of a relationship that.

That same energy worker who helped me with the intergenerational trauma, she was tuning into to Leela before she was born, and she's like, wow.

Oh, man.

So lives between lives.

You guys are sitting here and you think it's hilarious that you're going to be mother and daughter.

This is the biggest, most hilarious scheme that you've ever come up with.

Oh, my God.

So you're gonna have a blast and it's just going to be hysterical.

Oh.

That is so sweet.

No, I love that I'm just, like imagining you two now because I also saw that picture and I'm just like, oh, my God.

You two out there just being like, okay, let's do this.

Let's try.

Let's do this.

Let's try mother and daughter this time.

Like, I just, like, I love it.

So funny.

So, yeah, I.

So, yeah, I think I've known it was kind of like parenting and shortly thereafter learning some human design.

So grateful.

Oh, my gosh.

I have a projector.

Explaining projector is Leela.

And then Ollie's an emotional generator.

And it is.

It's been just so useful and at times, of course, just maddening, like, to have all these different, you know, different types and different nervous systems and different needs.

Right.

And feel response.

You know, there's my conditioning, too.

The responsibility of meeting all the needs for everybody.

Yeah, dude, that part, like.

I had.

Definitely taken my eye off of the ball of my own needs a little bit the last couple of weeks.

And so I was definitely shown on the weekend when I was just like, last weekend in particular.

We had a more stressful weekend.

But yeah, I was like screaming like I was actually yelling at one of my children.

And that is so rare for me.

Like, yes, I'll get upset, but there's like a.

There is a decibel point that I will.

That I almost like, it's almost like I don't even have access to that point until I am so far dysregulated that that is the only way words can come out of me.

Like, I was just so far beyond.

And that part of like meeting the needs and all of it.

I think what I'm really noticing in this.

What would I kind of like a re.

Equilibrating.

I think there's like, I went really far into depletion and dysregulation and now I'm focusing on resourcing myself and getting back to some sort of a homeostasis.

And what I'm appreciating in this time is that like I haven't added the extra layer of judgment onto myself too significantly.

Like, I absolutely have had it on there.

A little bit of like, ugh, I should know better.

Oh, how did I did it?

You know, like, there's this feel, like there's this awareness.

There's like an extra layer of judgment or shame that can come along with having more awareness for me sometimes.

Because sometimes my greater awareness also ends up kind of like grabbing in some new subtle rules.

There's like a new right wrong or it tries to attach some sort of right wrongs into the new, like, oh, now I'm more aware.

But because I'm more aware, this is how I should be acting all the time.

It's, you know, like shit like that.

And I feel like that point, like the, the point of recognizing.

I think it's so magical for me to feel like I have access to.

To recognizing the embodied difference between like a mental and versus like a body clear response, like a signal.

And that to me, like the mental compared to the body, that feels like such an important precipice.

Like, I would love to support people who have a sense already.

So the thing for me is like, I don't want to convince people about the internal experience of like the mind and the body feeling different.

Everyone's going to have their own experience of that.

And when someone feels proficient enough and kind of like knowing how to toggle the two or at least have an awareness of the two, that's where I'm like, okay, let's take that awareness and hone it.

Like, let's hone it and get it so clear on different somatic sensations.

Because when we have a clear somatic sensation to track the circumstance doesn't matter as much as the literal sense.

Like whatever the sensei.

Right.

And so then it's like, oh my God, I can be learning all the time.

That's my favorite.

Like, I just love.

I am such a fudgeing generator who loves learning about themselves.

Like, and it I'm discovering, I used to be like afraid of navel gazing.

Like, oh, am I just navel gazing?

But like the reality for me is like I'm integrating my awareness all the time in service of my own, like feelings of fulfillment and joy and connection and the fullness, you know, it's not always joy, sometimes it's rage.

But growing my capacity to be with the fullness of my experience and then growing that capacity to be with the fullness of my kids experiences.

Like right now they're almost 9 and 2 and I just, I feel incredible about how I'm showing up for my kids.

Even though I yelled at my kid in their face the other day.

You know, not saying like, that's something that I wanted and want to do on a regular basis, it's like, no, I don't like that I did that.

And I appreciate that.

I have more capacity to hold space for both my humanity and also my child's humanity in that moment, you know, and to, to have come back around and cleaned it up with them in a way that feels so good.

And also was very like body led where my mind was like, now we need to go apologize.

Because the mind knows, you know, well, if you do a shitty thing, which you did, and you're bad and wrong for that, now you have to go and apologize because you're.

Otherwise you're double being a bad parent, you know, like kind of shit.

But I really clocked how much I was trying to mentally force a repair conversation or something.

And what ended up happening was Uni naturally brought it up.

As we were getting ready for bed, they were talking about something.

They're calling me an unbearable, terrible mother.

It was like we were like playing with rhymes and I was trying to like figure out good other words that we could put in, you know, like put in there.

And it just, you know, and I was just like, babe, I took so much of my dysregulation out on you this weekend.

Like, I am so sorry for that.

And they just looked at me with this sweet face and they were like, you better be.

And I was like, I really am.

And they Were like.

I know.

Like, it just.

It was less than a minute, and it felt energetically, completely addressed.

And I think there were just.

There are parts of my mental concept of what, like, relational.

Like a relational parenting kind of dynamic would or could look like that.

I feel like I'm breaking those.

Those surface level hows, where it's like, no, it has to look like this, or it has to look like that.

I'm just like, actually, it could look like this, and it could work exactly perfectly for what we're having.

Go on in that moment.

And that's what I want to support other folks in doing.

Like, normalizing, playing around with, like, making different.

Making decisions that feel aligned for them, even if those decisions don't feel like they match the social norms.

You know, like the behavioral stuff that social.

Like, even just identifying a child as behaving or misbehaving, like, literally those two categories are not real.

Like, everything that everybody does is a behavior.

The end.

That's right.

So I think, too, like, yeah, there would be such a huge.

I would bring a huge linguistic portion to, like, my linguistic interest into the space to look at literally, how are the words that we're using as it relates to parenting, as it relates to describing our children or whatever?

How are they revealing how we're orienting to them?

Like, how.

What is my sense of what I'm responsible for, what they're responsible for.

Right.

And, like, neutrally being able to tease these things apart in service of, again, like, more awareness, more fulfillment, more connection, more joy, more fullness.

That kind of stuff.

I'm aware, too, as you say that.

Right.

Like, the judgment.

Yeah.

Is what locks all of this stuff into place, as opposed to, you know, the curiosity, compassion, playful exploration, experimenting.

Again, that kind of, like, moves it all forward.

And I don't.

Yeah.

Forward even feels like the wrong word.

Like, it just moves.

It just.

Yeah.

Totally keeps it going.

Right.

You're not stuck.

Right.

Which is.

I just wrote something that people fear like crazy.

Yes.

Judgment freezes, constriction freezes, congruence flows.

Something like that.

Something about that.

Because, yeah, that does feel like a big part of what I'm up to in my sweet little six line.

Body on the roof is like, tweak, tweak, tweak.

Like just little.

Because I'm able to catch so many more nuanced little.

Like, limiting beliefs or little rules or little.

This is.

Or that's about how I'm supposed to interact with people.

And so now I feel like, because I've spent so Long getting at some of those bigger incongruences.

Some of my really obvious self betrayals, you know, where I would just very clearly like to myself, very clearly I would be perform.

I'd be completely in performance mode with people.

Again, totally fine.

My thing is just I want to be conscious of that.

Like I want to choose, I'm masking versus I'm unconsciously masking because that's all I have access to in that moment.

Right.

Like for me it's like I don't have that any of the choices are right or wrong.

I'm just like, what do I have the capacity for right now?

Also what are the consequences?

I'm willing to be responsible for.

Like sometimes I'm going to come in hot and regard like whatever way I decide to come in.

I'm responsible for the consequences of how I came in.

Like as it relates to, you know, talking with my kids.

And I think that part is, has been really helpful for me too because I think some parents try to restrict themselves from performing certain behaviors but they're doing the same restrictive thing to themselves that children have done to them where we try to like condition them into the boxes of politeness and behaving properly or whatever good children.

And so then the parents, like as grown ups, we are also not necessarily competent at relating to ourselves when we ourselves are misbehaving, quote unquote by societal definitions of it.

So it feels like this like the self reflection which then turns into the like different reflective parenting.

Because I can see in myself how this particular habit of constraint has restricted me from the free flowing of my energy.

And so yeah, like unlocking those things, I feel like over time has been, God, just wildly freeing for me.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

There's so much Nick, so much potential, so much possibility.

Here's my possibility view of like, oh yeah, you know, capacity and choice, you know, choice in every moment and.

And also the by type.

Right.

Parenting according to like your type and not as a, you know, the whole, the whole time.

Also helping folks distinguish between like, okay, that programming that we all have, that conditioning we all have of like okay, I've got to do it the way that they want it.

I've got to do it this perfect.

I've got to be in the box.

I've got to be in the formula.

What is the.

We can start.

Sure.

Read all of it like that.

Right.

But really kind of going back to like who am I?

What is my.

You know, I've heard you talk about like how the.

I've Heard you say, like, I love being, you know, like, noticing these things about me, right?

Like, there's so much satisfaction that comes through and, like, if you were worried, if you were stymied by the whole, like, I don't want to do this navel gazing because it's bad, right?

Like, you wouldn't be experiencing it like that, right?

Where it's like, oh, yes, I love.

I love, you know, becoming aware of my, you know, thoughts and words and behaviors.

Right?

That's.

So it's like that you get to choose.

You get to choose your.

Your track as a parent and is it aligned to who you are or is it trying to get it just right according to, like, you know, I love the Dan Siegel book so much as well.

And I think that there, I have experienced it, you know, in, like, counseling sessions with people where there's a hang up on, like, shit, I didn't do it the way that I was supposed to do it.

Or, like, I said the right words, but it still didn't land or whatever.

But you were talking about that, like, with the energetics, right?

And like, where, where Yuni said to you, like, hey, you know, even just that, like, I'm like, oh, yeah, well, that's good news.

You got a kid who feels, like, totally free, totally welcome to come to you and share what's going on for them below the throat, right?

Like, what's happening in my body?

And then you get to share, like, yes, that confirmed.

Right?

Like, I feel that in my body too.

And then there's.

There's the connection.

Yes.

Thank you for naming that.

I hadn't even considered.

It feels so, so baked into our parenting now that uni does feel so free and safe to tell us literally everything about their experience, which is, like, incredible and sometimes really hard for me.

But genuinely, like, sometimes when I'm, like, acting some kind of way, they'll look at me and they'll just be like, you need to eat.

And I'm like, that is so true.

I'm like, thank you.

Like, that is true.

But we just.

I feel like we're learning how to be humans together while I'm not also putting on to them that they act like a little adult, you know, like, it's that whole navigating of I'm still responsible for helping them meet their needs.

Of course, there's the part where, like, they need to put the food in their mouth and actually eat it.

And there's the part where I'm responsible for putting the food in front of them.

And also There are so many energetic interactions that are just, like, feeding right, like, that happen on a regular, regular basis.

And I think what.

What I feel excited about, like, when we talk about having, like, a group of parents, let's say that we get to consistently interact with over some period of time, because that's how I imagine it now.

Like, what I think would be so fun is crafting our own, like, awareness experiments together, all of us, right?

And then we go out and we, like, bring things into our lives.

We test things out, but it's all with this intention of, like, gathering data in service of, like, my awareness and my knowing of my child and their uniqueness, like, my capacity to see them and be with them and hold space for them and all of that.

Because I feel like that, yeah, like, awareness experiments are basically how I live my life.

Because it just feels really fun.

Like, my brain is just oriented that way, and I have so much fun.

And I feel like.

Like, in the past, it was more just, like, treating people as literal, like, objects of the science project, but now I feel much more actually, like, connected to myself, to the other people, and I'm like, whoa.

The information that I can learn about myself and about someone else, when I just put a little bit of, like, clarity on what I'm looking for, you know, like, whether it's my somatic experience or certain linguistic markers or certain, like, interactions or dynamics or something, like, I just feel like it has helped me open up to so much more, like, capacity for connection and also just continuing to normalize for myself.

Like, we are all different.

Like, we are all so different from each other.

And just because my kids think about, you know, like, oh, this baby wants to play with this toy this way, and that baby wants to play with it that way.

It's just like.

Like, I don't want to keep being like, why are you doing it?

Like that it's supposed to go like this, you know, or whatever.

Like, milk doesn't get mixed with noodles when you're eating that.

It's like, I don't.

I don't know.

Maybe milk and noodles is going to be your favorite thing.

And so I'm, Yeah, really clarifying, like, where are my edges around what I don't want to be responsible for, which is the mess sometimes of, like, cleaning up the milk and the noodles from everywhere, right?

And it's like just being aware of that, where it's like, hey, babe, I know you want to explore milk and noodles today.

I'm a no.

Or like, whatever it is, like, navigating those ongoing things.

It's just parenting is so much more relentless and ongoing than I had ever.

Than I could have ever imagined it to be.

Like, the number of times that I get up to get my children things that are within their arm's reach.

Steph.

Just doing a knowing nod.

Yeah.

Head in hands.

Yep.

For sure.

Oh, my God.

And yeah.

So the.

This is amazing.

This is amazing.

Nick.

I think that we've got some real good.

I don't know, I made a lot of notes.

They're kind of like one words, one word notes kind of all over your page in the collaboratory notebook.

But I think we've got a good jumping off foundation here.

I agree.

Like, I'm writing down right now in a little circle.

So, like a possible what.

Where the what is like, the center of the offering.

The words I have are, like, cultivating self awareness and capacity in service of more.

Like, in service of, like, more connection and more.

What is the word?

There's something.

There's a flavor of like, more.

I don't want the word competence, but it's something like, like empower.

It's kind of like, like feeling more at, like, in the driver's seat of my own life, in the driver's seat of my relationships, in the driver's seat of like, like, how I am making, like, how I am orienting to my life and things.

Not like, oh, I need to control everything.

But I think for me, it's like, I feel so much more empowered on a daily basis in my relationships, I think as a result of, like, this self trust that I've been integrating along with my self awareness, you know, it's kind of like I'm getting this awareness, then I do some experiments, learn more about myself, and then I develop new things, skills to be able to.

It's almost like just live my life more in alignment with who I am.

And so supporting other folks and doing the same feels so fun and fruitful to me.

And just like the land of parenting is just like never ending.

Opportunities to self reflect.

It's the advanced course, man.

Yeah.

Or to not self reflect.

Right.

Like, because that's another thing, like teaching people and supporting people and being like, hey, hey, it doesn't need to matter right now.

Like, that's another part of it too.

Hey, I can just like, let this one go.

Yeah.

Moment to moment.

Right?

What I want to say, the.

I want to say, like, yeah, something with choice making, but, like, discernment.

Maybe that's a discernment according to.

Right.

Like authenticity.

You.

Your Your capacity, your needs, and also the Considering.

Because we can.

I. I know it's hard.

I find it hard.

I might be talking to myself here, but the.

It's hard to consider everyone's needs in a moment.

Right.

And we do it all the time.

And, you know, like, there's where the experimentation comes in.

There is no perfect.

There is no place we're going to land.

Ultimately, that is like, gold star A plus.

There is only.

Okay.

This is how I tried it today.

Right.

Like, I know you want to experiment with noodles and milk today, and for me, I'm at capacity in terms of the cleanup.

So we're going to have to.

We're going to have to problem solve that together.

Like, is there.

Is there something.

You know, I know they're not.

They are not.

They're also not adults.

Right.

Right.

These children that.

So acknowledging.

Right.

Develop development.

Acknowledging, like, human design.

Oh, my God.

I've heard that that is, like, part of the point of why it came in as it did when it did.

Right.

Was like, for the kids, for the.

For the parenting.

So let's.

Let's integrate it all.

Yeah.

And do our best not in a, you know, let's decondition best.

Right.

Static state.

Right.

Right.

It can be fun.

That's.

That's a fun challenge.

It lights me up for sure.

Hell, yeah, dude.

Fun.

It's got to be fun or else I'll be.

Gotta be fun.

Honor notes, too.

Okay.

I love it.

I love this.

It's like, it's.

It's.

It's about clarifying our philosophies and bringing them into practice.

That's what it feels like, like, generally.

But then with all of this, like, nuanced, juicy information to support us along that traversion.

That's definitely a word.

It's definitely a word.

Let's make it a word.

We'll have a dictionary, a thesaurus to go along.

Great with version.

We did okay.

Oh, my God.

We did it.

We didn't know it, honestly.

Right.

Oh, my God.

Honestly.

It was a little.

I did have a part.

It was quiet, but, like, at the beginning, I had a part who's like, are we gonna get somewhere?

Like, are we gonna actually find some.

You know, are we gonna make a plan?

And I wasn't too tied to that at all.

I was like, oh, who knows?

I don't know.

We're just gonna have a conversation.

No big deal.

But, yeah.

Exciting to kind of find that we ended up somewhere.

That really feels very rich and full of possibility to be.

How's Your probability view.

See it.

Oh, I just feel like this is going to be amazing.

Like, whoever we end up having.

Probability.

I feel like my probability probably has enough evidence also from when I ran parenting groups in the past.

Right.

I've done it in the past.

And this time I feel so much more integrated in my awareness and also getting to team up with you.

Like, the.

The magic of having, like, different perspectives, especially with our designs being, like, complementary.

I think it's going to be so fun.

Literally even just like, you have all your awareness centers to find and I have none.

Oh, right.

Like, I just feel like we're going to get to toggle so many different nuances of individuation, you know, of differentiation with folks both for themselves as the grown up and then also with their children.

Like, it just.

Yeah, dude, I'm Stone.

I'm like, okay, I'm ready.

When are we starting?

When do we open the doors?

When do we start?

Yeah.

Well, you're emotional, but we'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

This was fun.

That was so fun.

Hey, and I'm.

I'm hoping too.

I was also hopeful that like, like, yeah, folks would hear it as, like, opening to possibility of like.

Yeah.

Do you vibe with someone?

You know, start talking to them about what the.

Not necessarily.

It doesn't have to be like, we don't all have to be like big time creators, but kind of we are.

We are already.

We are creating our experience all the time.

And so, like, here's the.

Here's the new way.

Here's a new way to try it is like, who do you vibe with?

Even if you feel like you don't know what the thing is?

Yeah.

Go forth and create some cool shit, I guess.

Mic drop.

All right.

I'm not great at endings.

Sa Sam.