Hi, my beautiful bravehearts. It is wonderful to be with you. All right, listen, you gotta roll up your sleeves. You know, sometimes we just have to talk. I gotta keep it real. As my girlfriend says, "Straight up, no chaser, no fluff," like this is the thing.

And I just wanna talk to you today as now we are midway through the year, if you're listening to this in May or June, and it's time to make sure that you're making some serious progress on the goals, on the dreams, on the things that you articulated at the top of the year when you said, "This is what's important to me. I wanna achieve this." And it's not just what you achieve, but it's who you're becoming on your journey to achieving those. I love attaching an identity to what we're doing. In other words, saying, "I'm the kind of person who eats right," if one of your goals is to lose some weight. "I'm the kind of person who reads a lot," if one of your goals is to read 10 books. Don't just think of it as something that you do, but think of it as something that you are. Make it part of your identity. "I'm the kind of person who has a morning routine. I'm the kind of person who does some serious things every day, and I discipline myself." And that's just a... It feels like it's a negative word, doesn't it? How about self-restraint, self-control? Maybe regulation. We want to be the kind of people, "I'm the kind of person who can regulate myself. I'm the kind of person who can stall on instant gratification for something I really want."

Well, I'll be honest with you. Most of the time I am, but there are times when I'm not. There are times when I say, "I know this is gonna sabotage my progress, but I just feel like doing it. I just wanna do it. What... I just wanna eat it. I just wanna sleep in," whatever it might be. "I wanna play and go shopping instead of staying home and writing on the computer." And I let myself do that. I give myself some of those moments because I think it's part of a balanced life, and I wanna make sure that I don't burn out. I want my career goals to be sustainable. I wanna love my life and be passionate about it. But I want to share with you today some of the ways that we cave in.

You know, I really want what I want, but sometimes- I'm not disciplined. My discipline fails. And I'm gonna give you three things today that talk about maybe why your discipline fails. And I have found these things to be true of myself, but I found these to be true of other women that I coach, and some of the clients that I have that have really lofty, beautiful goals, and they're very attainable. It's not like pie in the sky for them. They can do it if we can capture this one thing, discipline, the stick-to-it-ness, the do it, the do it. You just- Nike got it right when they said, "Just do it." Easy to say, more difficult to do. So let me give you three things that might enlighten you a little bit.

So number one, discipline fails when you don't believe in yourself. In recovery, they call that a reservation. If you have a hesitation or really a reservation about who you are, if you don't feel like you're worthy of this goal, or you don't think you're enough for this goal, not smart enough, not creative enough, not quick enough, whatever it is, if that is there, if you disqualify yourself from reaching this goal because you've got a sneaky little limiting belief in the back of your head that you're not enough, you don't believe in yourself, you don't think you can cut the mustard, well, we've got to eliminate that. Because self-doubt will manifest. It will manifest for all of us. But what is it that you do with it when it shows up? Do you self-sabotage or do you press in? Do you prefer a comfortable state of failure, or do you say, "You know what? No, I'm not gonna accept that. I'm gonna press in. Am I gonna push back against that"?

So there is, by the way, a five-step process that I have that helps you build credibility with yourself, to believe in yourself, to build your self-respect. I can give that to you, but you'd have to email me at [email protected] and just put in the subject line, "Build self-worth," and I'll send that off to you. But if you have greater self-worth as you learn to harness self-discipline, you'll follow through on your plan. I'd like to help you with that. But self-discipline, can you keep your word to yourself? Can you regulate your emotions, your moods, your feelings? Can you build trust and respect with yourself?

And when you do that, when you do what you say you're gonna do, you get excited, and you stop waking up with guilt every day saying, "Oh, I didn't come through." Your brain goes, "Wow, you did that. What else can you do? Look at you. You are a bad woman up in here. You did it." So your brain will go, "Hey, what's next? What else can you do?" You feel so empowered when you do that. So build your self-respect and build belief in yourself. You can do this. If God put this dream in your heart, he's gonna equip you to fulfill it, and not only that, he's gonna put his super on your natural. It's gonna be supernatural. There's a scripture in the Bible that says it's not gonna be by might, it's not gonna be by power, but by the Spirit of God.

Now, don't take that to mean all I gotta do is just lie back and go, "Come on, Holy Spirit, do your thing." No, no, no, no, no. Faith without works is dead. That means you're going to do everything you can do, and when you get to the place where you can do no more, and it's gonna require some extra favor, grace, open doors, God is gonna show you that he's with you, that he's for you.

All right, number two, discipline fails when we don't define a clear vision. I'm gonna say it again. You have to write it down. The late and wonderful Myles Munroe said this, "Find a vision so compelling that it imposes a self-discipline on you." In other words, something that is so brilliantly clear, it's in 3D, it's in full color. I see it. I can feel the emotion that I would have once I have it. I can smell it. It's closer than I could even imagine. Once your vision is so crystal clear, it will give you self-discipline.

And sometimes we lack that self-discipline because we just really haven't connected yet with our dream or our desire. It's just not that crystal clear yet. It's still kind of blurry, and it's still kind of out there. It's like Joyce Meyer says, "You got wishbone, but you don't have any backbone." So do you have more wishbone than you do backbone? Find a vision that gives you some backbone, a vision that pulls you like a magnet. And isn't it better to be pulled than to be pushed? I don't like to be pushed. Even if it's something I want and somebody's pushing me, I feel like I wanna push back and go, "Don't be the boss of me." You know, like, it's... Maybe it's the red hair. I don't know, but I feel like I kinda wanna say, "Hey." And yet, at the same time, I do appreciate. I have given a few people the ability to speak into my life, or they have access to me, and my husband is one of them. He's probably my biggest cheerleader. That doesn't work for everybody, I get it. Your husband will probably not be the one, actually. But, you know, Paul Damon, what can I say? He's my hunka, hunka burning love, and he's just my best friend. But I digress. So I love being pulled by a magnetic vision that I really love, and I really wanna go after it. And if you can't make yourself obey yourself, if you can't make yourself obey to go after your vision, I would say that you're not really serious enough yet. You don't want it bad enough. You're actually okay with where you are right now, and that's kind of like, you know, they say when the pain is great enough, you'll reach for change.

Well, if you're not reaching for change or transformation, then the pain's not bad enough yet. But you... Guess what? You don't get to complain about what you tolerate. You don't get to go, "Woe is me," about something. You are tolerating it. If you're tolerating it, if you're accepting it, that's on you. It's time for you to get serious and say, "What do I really want?"

So the key is to find an irresistible vision that makes you want to be self-disciplined. So what are you dreaming of? Is it compelling? And in order to dream that big, you have to have three things, maybe even four. But one thing is that you have to silence fear. You know, we have already talked about it, those limiting beliefs, they're gonna echo in your ear, they're gonna tell you you're not enough, you're too old, you missed your time, you don't have what it takes. You gotta silence fear. All right?

The second thing is you have to silence your excuses, because they're going to oppose you. They're gonna push back. You're gonna hear the, as my girlfriend calls it, the rational lies, the rationalization. You're gonna hear that, so you gotta push back. And then you gotta silence your shame. It's a shame your shame. The shame is gonna say, "Who are you? Who do you think you are? You're never gonna do that." You might even have to silence the voice of some dream thieves, but that's another, uh, story. But that's true, too, those that aren't for you, that don't believe in you. But you don't have time for them. You have to silence the voices. I guess that's really what it is, isn't it? You have to silence those voices, and that's why I write them down. I look at it, I grab the paper, I read it, I need to slay fear, I wanna stay brave, I wanna go for my dreams. And I believe that's true for you, too. This is the year for you. Slay your fear. Slay apathy. Wake up. Go for what you believe in. You know you'll have a fulfilled life, so that's important, isn't it? Especially in mid-life, we have a purpose, that we're living and moving and breathing on purpose with purpose.

All right, number three. Discipline will fail when you don’t have a solid intention. In other words, a made-up mind and a firm commitment that says, "I am going to do this." And again, we're coming full circle back to the wishbone. "There's nothing more powerful than a made-up mind," says Lewis Gordon, "But a double-minded person is unstable in everything." So if I say, "I want this, but I also want that," and I'm going back and forth, then you're probably not gonna reach your goal.

You guys know I'm an author. Let me talk about being an author just for a moment. Hey, shameless plug, my latest book, The Making of a Brave-Hearted Woman, where I share a- many of these goals, all of these things in this book with you. But I can write and have a product, or I can go play, and sometimes the part of me who's the outgoing, creative, throw off restraint, just wanna play, argues with the logical part of me that wants to buckle down and get to work.

But if I don't buckle down and get to work, I don't get to hold this book in my hand. I don't get to share this message with you and other midlife women who need it. So do I really want it? So once I declare what I want in my life, I decide how badly I really want it, and that's where you connect with your why. Why do I want this? Why? If my why I want something isn't large enough, it's not big enough, it's not meaningful enough, I'm probably gonna be willing to ditch it at the first opportunity to do something else. I'm gonna be writing this summer. Summer comes, it's gonna be fun. But you know what else is fun? Signing books, making an income, speaking on stages about the topic that I've written about. That's fun. So I don't want to squander my time.

So how about you? What do you really want, and how bad do you want it, and why do you want it? And then I want you to do this. Get your notebook out and put a start date or a calendar. Grab your calendar and mark your progress. Tell me when you're gonna work on it. Tell yourself, "I'm gonna work on it here, here, and here. I'm gonna do it this, this..." You wanna organize your house? You wanna clean your closets? You wanna paint a room? You wanna take down that bedroom that nobody uses anymore and make it into a beautiful space for you, a wardrobe room perhaps? I'll help you with that. Put it on the calendar. When are you gonna do it? All right. Do you know how to give up immediate gratification? Do you know how to say no? Let's practice it together. No. I know, that was hard. You barely. No. Let's do it together. No. Okay? Practice it. Give up immediate gratification for the thing that you say that you really want.

And do you know how to navigate that psychological phenomenon of buyer's remorse or that pushback once you say you're gonna do something? Telling a person, making yourself accountable, is another good way to push back. Do you have the skills to endure your brain's protest when it starts screaming at you during that cycle of change, when you're in that cycle of change where you're all excited, and then we start making movement, and then it's like, "Okay, this is hard work, and I'm bored, and I don't wanna do this anymore." Gotta push through that moment right there. It comes to everybody. Gotta push through. Do you know how caving in will sabotage you? What is it, how, what will it cost you? If you don't know, what are the obstacles that will probably crop up, and do you know how much it will cost you? If you have that piece of cake, how many calories are in it, and how long will it take you to burn that sugar before you start getting back in the fat-burning zone? Do you know that?

'Cause if you have that knowledge or whatever it is, that would probably be enough to get you to say no. And finally, what makes you really desire? What makes a person finally reach their goals? Losing weight, saving money, starting a job, or finishing higher education. A deliberate intention. Set it every day. Fortified. A made-up mind. And that's what I do every morning in my journal. I write down my intention. I say, "This is what I'm going to do today. This is how I'm gonna exercise. This is how I'm gonna study. This is how I'm going to produce, and this is how I'm gonna eat." Write down your intentions. All right?

Listen, you've spent years showing up for everyone else. You've carried the weight of responsibility. You've made sacrifices. You've kept going even when you didn't feel good, even when you were on empty. Now it's time for you. This time is your time. It's time to reignite your confidence and set those new goals, awaken courage inside of you, and step into your God-given clarity and dream without self-doubt, without second-guessing, without shrinking, without wondering if it's too late. And I wanna help you do that. I want to share with you The Brave Life Transformation: The Brave Life Method. It's my coaching course, and it's available for you right now. It's at a special price. You can go to braveheartedwoman.com/bravehearted-transformation. That's a dash, not the word dash. Bravehearted-transformation. You'll find it in the show notes.

I believe in you. You are worth it. Keep going. Don't quit. Don't stop. Don't just take up room. Keep moving. I'm here cheering you on. This is Dawn Damon, your brave-hearted coach, telling you it's time for you to find your brave and live your dreams!