If you’ve ever set a deadline for your weight loss to hit a goal before a reunion, vacation, or wedding and ended up back where you started, this episode is for you. Lisa shares her own "destination dieting" story, why comparison hijacks your patience, and how to reframe your expectations around the scale. Progress isn’t about perfection or speed. It’s about building something you can sustain. So really, what’s your hurry?

Welcome to Big Fat Skinny Dish, where progress isn't perfect, it's personal.

How many times have you said something like, I just need to lose weight before dot dot dot, before summer, before the reunion, before the wedding? Well, that's what I call destination dieting You tie your why to a date on the calendar and suddenly everything is about how fast you can get there. The problem is when your motivation is tied to a deadline, it runs out when the deadline does. And that's what keeps so many of us stuck.

Hey, I'm Lisa Kahler and on today's episode of Big Fat Skinny Dish, we're talking about expectations, patience and why ditching the timeline is the first step to building something sustainable. So I was a chronic destination dieter and usually my deadlines had to do with seasons, vacations or reunions. But for me, the biggest destination diet fail

No apps, no phones, just me, my trusty little calorie counterbook, a notebook and my pen.

By September, I was down about 65 pounds. But of course in my head, because I was mapping out how much I should be losing each month to get to where I needed to go, I was not losing fast enough. And to me, that meant it wasn't working. Nevermind that I was down 65 pounds.

And it was right in that period of time when the Atkins diet came on the scene, And suddenly this whole low carb movement was the new miracle for weight loss. But here I was already losing weight, already making progress. instead of trusting my process, I jumped ship.

and climbed right on board that Atkins bandwagon because my timeline for weight loss didn't match reality.

And you know, I did drop another 10 or 12 pounds really quickly, but I can remember that I would have done some pretty shady things for a French fry. And then one night I went out to dinner with a friend who by the way was also doing Atkins with me. We went, I think it might've been Applebee's. It was either Applebee's or Chili's.

but we went out to dinner

A waitress walked by carrying this big appetizer sampler tray, know, mozzarella sticks, potato skins, chicken wings, little mini burgers, All of that fried goodness. And that was it. We looked at each other, say no more. We ordered the sampler plus burgers and fries. And just like that, poof, Atkins was over. It was all over.

you know, I wasn't able to pull myself back from that. And before I even made it down the aisle, I had gained back almost 40 pounds of the weight that I'd lost. A few months after the wedding, I was heavier than when I started.

Here's the thing you guys, when your why has a timeline, it's not really a why, it's just a deadline. Deadlines do not keep you going, they set you up for self-sabotage. And that's how you end up stuck in the start over spiral.

And you know, another way I think our patience gets hijacked, it's not just having our why as a deadline. It's not just setting up a deadline and calling it our why. I have to go to the reunion, I have to look good, my summer body. It's not just that. The noise of comparison is brutal. And most of the comparison thing I think happens online, specifically social media. And

man, is it ever loud. Everyone has a story about how they did it, faster, easier, better with a whole list of products. And the longer you scroll, it's no wonder that we feel like our own progress is insignificant or too slow.

kind of how I think about comparison It's like driving on a highway.

when traffic's really heavy, you're cruising along and suddenly your lane slows down almost to a stop. So you switch lanes because of course the other lane is still moving, but you know sooner switch lanes, that one stops too. And meanwhile, the lane that you just moved out of is moving. So your progress gets slower and slower if you can't pick a lane.

Then another analogy, because I love analogies, is the rubbernecking. You're driving down the highway, You're minding your business. You're in your lane. You're on your side of the highway. But there's an accident up ahead on the other side of the highway that's not even in your way. But everyone's slowing down to look and there's rubbernecking.

That's what happens when you get caught up in somebody else's story It slows you down. And here's the kicker. Comparison is rarely an apples to apples thing. Most of the time, we're just stacking up our worst days against somebody else's highlight reel. No wonder we feel like we're left behind.

We forget. I mean, at least I forget. We have a story too. You have a story too. Some people may be further along than you,

but I guarantee you, are behind you.

So instead of letting it discourage you, use that someone else is doing it and they're ahead of you. Use that as proof that it can be done. And remember that while you're comparing yourself to them, somebody out there is comparing themselves to you.

And your story might be becoming someone else's survival guide.

that's why I think the real work is comparing yourself to you, to who you were yesterday and outdoing that version of you. That's how you measure progress. There's a quote that I love that says, stop measuring your success with someone else's yardstick.

And ain't that the truth, man? There's nothing to add to that.

Comparison is truly the thief of joy. It robs you of the ability to see your own progress clearly because you're too busy rubbernecking someone else's story.

And no discussion about deadlines and expectations around weight loss will be complete unless we talk about the expectations we have surrounding the numbers on the scale. Because if there is anything that will test your patience more, it's a scale that's not participating in your timeline. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to hit the numbers that we wanna hit. We step on that scale like it's,

some report card pass or fail. If the number goes down, we feel good. If it's up, suddenly everything we've done is pointless. We might as well just quit and we might as well just go finish off the chocolate cake that's out on the counter. Right? I know you have all been there. I've been there. I know I'm not just speaking for myself.

The scale is just data. That's it. It's numbers. The scale is just data. It doesn't lie, but it doesn't tell you the whole story. It's not measuring the work you put in. It's not measuring consistency, discipline, or your patience.

But if you don't neutralize your response to the scale, your progress will suffer every single time.

Because just like deadlines and comparison, your expectations of what the scale should say,

can hijack your patience, hijack your consistency, hijack your discipline and keep you stuck.

Progress is not linear and the sooner you trust that the easier this patience and expectation thing will get

So when your patience starts to wane and you find yourself wanting to rush the results, ask yourself, what am I really chasing? A date on the calendar or a life I enjoy living?

The shift happens when you let go of deadlines and lean into sustainability. That's where you'll find freedom. And that's when progress starts to feel less like perfection and more like yours. So really, what's your hurry? Thanks for listening. Catch you next time.

Thanks for listening to Big Fat Skinny Dish. For links, bios, and resources, visit bigfatskinnydish.com. We'd love to hear from you. Share your wins, your struggles, or leave us a review wherever you listen.