Midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a power shift.

In this episode, Roxy sits down with Suzette and Lisa of The Midlifers — the sharp, hilarious duo redefining what it means to be a woman over 40.

Together, they unpack why women don’t get quieter in midlife — we get more honest. More selective. More unavailable for nonsense.

This conversation explores the cultural myth of “aging gracefully,” the exhaustion of emotional labor, the liberation of stronger boundaries, and what really happens when women stop performing for approval.

If you’ve ever been called “too much,” “intimidating,” or “difficult” — this episode is for you.

Because midlife isn’t when women fade.

It’s when we get dangerous.

In this episode of The Iconic Midlife, Roxy is joined by Suzette and Lisa, the creators behind The Midlifers — a viral comedy account that blends sharp cultural commentary with unapologetic midlife truth.

This conversation dives into:

1. Why women over 40 stop performing for approval
2. The cultural double standard around “aging gracefully”
3. Emotional labor and the boundaries that come with experience
4. Why midlife confidence feels threatening to some people
5. The power shift that happens when women stop caring about being convenient

With humor, honesty, and razor-sharp insight, Suzette and Lisa break down the real transformation happening in midlife — and why it’s less about chaos and more about clarity.

If you’re navigating reinvention, identity shifts, or simply feeling less interested in pleasing everyone else, this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air.

And everyone is a hot mess.

Right.

It's just what degree you're burning at that time.

Right.

Everybody is absolutely a hot mess.

Yeah.

We don't have it all figured out.

You know, high early. Yeah. And we're not done either. That's the beauty. You know, again, that's the part of being in the middle. We have a lot of life to live.

This is why we have to be louder and not quieter.

What matters in midlife when you're dating is very different. Like, where do you put the thermostat? That's a deal breaker.

100 per cent. My body is now a heater. Being in perimenopause.

My mom passed five years ago. My dad got an axe right away and I was like, this is bananas. Oh, my gosh.

Were you helping him, like, swipe through?

No, he did not want any help. I did have to take some pictures for him. He's like, take this.

You know, there's no way to get out of this earth except for dying once we get here. It's kind of a contract we make. So it's figuring out how to navigate that in the most respectful and loving way.

What are your guys thoughts on these, like, Internet sort of trolls?

All those comments are pretty much based on one reel that we did.

Which reel was it?

Are you ready? You're not?

Yeah. Today's guests are not here to behave.

They're the women behind the midlifers, Suzette and Lisa, the duo who say what women in midlife are thinking, but we're taught to whisper and somehow make it both hilarious and wildly accurate at the same time. Same time. They're sharp, they're fearless, they're socially lethal in the best way. And they built a following by turning midlife into a comedy stage.

Not a cautionary tale. In this conversation, we're talking about power, aging, emotional labor, boundaries and female autonomy.

And why women after 40 are not getting quieter. We're getting more dangerous intellectually and emotionally.

So if you like your laugh smart, your truth unfiltered, and your midlife anything but polite, this episode is absolutely for you. And before we dive in, if this show speaks to you, I'd love for you to follow rate and review it on your favorite podcast app or YouTube.

It's how more women find these conversations and it really does help. Now let's get into it with Suzette and Lisa of the midlifers. Welcome to the iconic midlife ladies.

Thank you.

Yay. This is so exciting. So as soon as I came across your Instagram you know, page, I'm sure.

Just like so many other people who have come before me, I was obsessed, like, right from the get. Like, you guys are so funny. You put it all out there and you make it like it's so relatable.

Because I feel like we're all going through this a lot of the same things. But you guys have this hilarious spin and I just. I'm dying. One of my favorites is the Girl Scout. The badges.

Yes.

The perimenopause and menopause badges and like midlife badges. You get. You guys are so creative. So tell me how this amazing page of yours started. The midlifers and kind of your origin story.

We are neighbors. We're back door neighbors, and we are always getting into shenanigans.

Our neighbors can find us out on the front patio, like building some random thing with power tools. And we're always just getting into trouble. And when we've said for years, we should probably film this, it would make people laugh.

And then we started asking each other questions as we got into perimenopause, menopause, and we're like, does this happening to you? Is this happening? And we thought, this is kind of funny. What if we kind of focused in that direction and then it was good timing.

So the other piece of that was that we both saw that there was a need or a vacuum in social media for people who are making this kind of content. As we've gotten out there more now, we're finding so many people who are doing this, but still it's a minority.

I think there's what, 330 million midlifers across the globe or something like that.

On Instagram? Yeah, on Instagram, yes.

Thank you.

It's largely focused, though, on fitness, fashion, and food. And we thought, let's just have these conversations that are fun, so let's see what happens. And it turns out lots of people like to laugh.

Yeah, it's a very weird time. We call ourselves the tweens of adulthood because we're not the old people, but we're not the young hip people either.

So we're kind of in that middle mid area. We're also kind of sandwiched between maybe having kids at home and taking care of older adult parents, these kinds of things.

And so we're like, there's content there. There are things to chat about. We're chatting about them all the time.

You know, and the other thing is, midlife is one of the few unique times where you could be having a newborn or you could be a grandparent. And Suzette and I have very different marriage lives in the sense that we're both long time married but we started much later.

I have a nine year old at home, she has 22 and up. So she has three kids that are grown and I have three kids that are in the house. So we have different relatability to people on our stories.

And yeah, so when people say, oh, this is a grandparent time. And I'm like, really?

Because I'm in elementary schools, you know, and Suzette will say I've gone through the college scene and I'm like, what is that like? Yeah, so it's an interesting time in our lives to be able to share.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I love that you guys like span the gamut.

Like you're just saying, gosh, I feel like I'm a geriatric mom too because I have an 11 year old and I just turned 50 this year, you know, And I'm like, yes. I'm like, I'm all about the geriatric moms. But then we also need the moms who like lay the groundwork for us and like can tell us all the advice.

So I really appreciate that you guys sort of like span that whole time frame, you know, and regardless of what.

We'Re doing, like whether you have kids that are grown and flown or whether you have kids at home, all of us have a 50 year old body. Like a body is still a body that has.

Whether you just had kids last year or you have your last child was born 30 years ago, your body is still in this place that we can talk about that's relatable and interesting.

Yeah, it's like we all sort of cross that threshold, you know, like around the same time. And it's like all of a sudden you start checking things off the list. You're like, okay, the eyes, you're like check. Those are going totally.

You're like the menopause. The menopause. Belly check.

Totally.

There she is. You know, like the gobbler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The gobbler. The gobbler. Yeah, I'm dying. The turkey neck gobbler. I mean literally it's like like clockwork.

And I feel like everybody is going through the same thing. Which I think makes you guys so, so relatable.

You know, it's like you, you can open your page and just have a laugh at all the things that are like going to shit now, you know?

Yeah, well, and it's funny, you know, there either. I think we all had. Are you there? God, it's me, Margaret.

That's how we all found out about our periods, you know, but, like, who's spearheading menopause stuff, you know? Right.

The us. The. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret, people.

Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

So if you guys get, like, some of the midlifers in, like, one sentence, like, what would you say that is, like, kind of. Kind of your.

His mission statement, celebrating aging through laughter. Because the option is that we're all dead, so I don't understand why people aren't celebrating. Every year we get is a gift. And if there's.

There's things you could cry about. Sure. And there's things that deserve tears, I'm sure, throughout midlife. Right. But it's sure a lot more fun to laugh.

Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, you're not alone. That. That's the thing we can there.

You know, when we saw that there weren't very many creators coming up with content for this kind of age group, we're like, oh, that's a. That's a huge bummer there. People need to feel seen and represented on social media. So let's. Let's just be real, you know?

Yes, yes, 100%. I mean, I think it's so important.

Laughter is the best medicine, especially at this time with all the seriousness of what we're going through and, you know, all the crazy stuff. But I want to know when you guys knew that the page, like, was taking off. Like, was there one post? Was there, like, one joke?

When did you know that you had, like, hit gold?

I would say when the Today show called. That was. No, there was a reporter. There was a reporter from Today who didn't get it, looking for content.

She was scrolling her own social media, and she was in our category. And she said, I laughed out loud and thought, I want to find these women and just chat with them.

And the post was about how our names are becoming extinct. So, you know, nobody's naming their kid Jennifer or Heather or Stephanie or Lisa anymore. And we just were like, those names, you know, you hear that.

You're like, oh, if I look up a doctor's office and I see it's Dr. Heather Smith, I'm like, yes, this woman gets me. She. She knows, you know, if it says.

Dr. Brittany, I'm scrolling on and I'm gonna go look for a different doctor.

Yeah.

But I love that she was naturally in our category. She was a reporter, and it connected with her enough to share with an audience. And I thought. I think this is. We're onto something. We are.

We're laughing ourselves, and we're finding joy, and then we're helping others find joy in this journey, which is so important.

I mean, it's like, all about creating that community. Right? I mean, it's like we have to stick together, especially at this time with.

With the aging parents and with, you know, the kids and with the partners and. And all the things. I want to know what is the most aggressively midlife thing that you guys have done in the last month?

I can tell you the most aggressively midlife thing I did today.

Ooh, let's hear it.

Let's hear it.

I sent a Zoom invite out for tonight, and the thing is tomorrow. And I didn't realize my own error till I looked at my paper calendar, and Zoom is tomorrow, and I had to.

And I had already canceled the thing I had for tonight because I thought it was wrong. So. Again. And that could. Just because I'm blonde. But I. I love me a paper calendar. I do mess up the days. You know, these kinds of things, so that.

That kind of stuff happens on the regular. And then, you know, the great thing is there's content, you know, like, oh, okay, I bet somebody else did this today.

I bet somebody else tried to open their front door with their key fob to their car or whatever. You know, like, we. We find ourselves doing these fun. And we're like, somebody else got that. Somebody else gets it, you know?

Mm. 100%. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with a paper calendar, too, because.

Yes.

If the. If the computer fails, then what do you do? And you're like, oh, my God, where am I supposed to be? Like, what am I supposed to do?

Yeah. And Old Faithful was right there. Tell me exactly what I needed to do. And wouldn't, you know, Wouldn't, you know? I just totally.

Do you guys remember the old organizer planners from, like, the 80s 90s? What were the. I can't remember.

Heavy daytimers.

Heavy date timers. Yes.

I still call it a daytimer because I'm old, right?

Oh, my God. It literally. It never fails. You're like, I can always go back to that. Yeah.

I mean, you know, I look back and I'm like, gosh, Gen X, we grew up in such a specific way. And I love this quote. There's this quote out there. You guys have probably seen it.

It's like, Gen X, the generation when you were a kid that you were basically, like, 30 years old already because of how we had to, like, you know, latchkey Kids and growing up and like being independent, you know, and then the same generation at 50 also being 30 still, because we sort of like stuck in that time, you know, like.

Yes.

What do you guys think about that?

Well, we joke about the fact that. So I have the younger kids, right. And I told them that there is.

There used to be commercials on that would remind parents there was children when it would say, do you know if it's 10 o', clock, do you know where your children are? And my kids were like, what? How did your parents forget? And I said the TV was. Became a thing and people would stare at the tv. So that's.

They'd put it on the TV and remind people they had children and to go find them by 10pm and so I think that is very representative of Gen X, that we were just off doing our own thing. No helmets, no seat belts, no. No bedtimes, no. I don't know, no supervision for the most part. I love that though. I love feral childhoods.

I think that's when you explore and it's so amazing. So I think it was a gift rather than, rather than the fear we should have had, which is great. Yeah.

And to the other side of that, you know, you think about the show Golden Girls, the people who were on that show were like in their 40s, portraying people who were older. We have a bit, we do about how 50 is different now.

You know, I think our generation is saying in a healthy way, not, not trying to preserve something we're not. I mean, people are. I can't speak for everybody in Gen X, but we're saying, you know what? We don't have to, you know, shut it down.

We can continue to do the things we like to do. Will we pay for it tomorrow? Possibly. You know, but we just have a.

Lot of more tools. We have a lot more tools in our toolbox too. We have a hot tub.

Yeah.

We have a lot of Tylenol. We have stem units, physical therapists on speed dial or chiropractors.

You know, I, I don't think my parents never did those things in their 40s and 50s. They, they were different 40s and 50s than we are. Yeah.

So absolutely different. I know, it's a good point. To your point about the Golden Girls, it's like unbelievable that those women were our age.

I mean, literally, like, even some younger probably at this point, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's wild to see, like, how different aging is now, you know? So, like, does aging scare you guys? Like, are you ever, like, are you like doomsday, kind of like, oh, my God, like aging. Are you, like, optimistic?

You know, like, how do you feel about it?

I am not scared of it. I'm grateful for it. I really am grateful. Yes.

I see the adults in our lives, the grandparents of my kids that are aging, and I want that to be more joyful and less painful and easier for them. And I know that's coming for me. Can I do anything about it? I can be the healthiest me.

I think that's a big change with our generation, is we've shifted from just accepting aging to being healthy, whatever that looks like for you, that you are the healthiest you can be and you live the healthiest lifestyle at 60, at 70, at 80. And that's the most fulfilling life. It's when you stop being healthy. The aging really isn't fun. Yeah.

And I was going to say, I think we come from. We recognize the privilege it is that neither of us are dealing with severe chronic pain or medical issues.

You know, when those things get real, then I think aging feels just compounded. It's so much harder. So we, we are grateful and recognize that that's not everybody's story. But, you know, when.

When you do have a healthy body and you're still going, aging gives you so much freedom. I mean, you know, just. I do not care. One of our favorite things we have is a hat that says, nope.

You know, and I'm like, you know, the freedom in life, it is to say, nope, I'm not doing that. I'm not wearing the high heels. I'm not gonna come to a party I don't really want to go to.

You know, like, that is the freedom that we're so embracing right now.

There's so much less guilt. I don't want to get on the teacups. I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't. I don't feel like I missed out on. Good. Yeah, yeah.

Happy attitude and everything. Not, not negative, but just I know myself and I've.

I've come to a point where I'm comfortable with myself and so I don't really need to impress or live for other people, you know?

Well, and we're very different in that regard too. I'll say, oh, my gosh, let's go for a seven o' clock walk. And she's like, am. No, no, no. And she doesn't.

No. Yeah.

Nope. She doesn't feel any guilt telling me that.

Yeah.

Well, that's interesting about your guys partnership is you guys are kind of like yin and yang, right? Like you kind of play off of each other. So how lucky that you guys were placed geographically. Very desirable right next to each other, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

What is like partnership look like for you guys? Is it like a sisterhood?

Like are, is there like you know, here and there you might fight a little bit like, you know, and this and that, or are you guys pretty cotic all the time? I mean, launching a business too at this time is like huge.

I think it's been an interesting thing, especially for me because I come from a healthcare background, so I haven't really had a lot of business experience. So I'm learning a ton of stuff. Whereas Lisa's the business pro, you know.

But I think the other good thing too is starting a business with your friend. And also at this point of life, I think we're just pretty honest with each other. You know, I'm like, I hate the music you picked for this Suzette.

This needs to be cut here and here or what? You know, and no, no shame in saying that and no offense taken. So it's been pretty good.

Again, I'm, I'm the kind of the business dummy, so I don't really know stuff and that's okay. But if you have a toddler that doesn't know how to talk yet, that's, that's where I shine.

I love it. You're like, I got that covered.

I'm a speech pathologist my day. And Lisa is, you know, a PR person. So she's. Yeah, she's got the, the business.

I just think we lucked out.

I mean we could be really, we could be really systematic and say, oh, we've tried this and this, but in, in large reality, Suzette is an amazing human being. She's a great friend and she's really kind at the core of who she is and she can talk me into doing 99% of anything.

She's very funny, she's very self deprecating and she's like, let's go for it. And we were looking at some reels that we were doing recently and I said, I wouldn't have done this a year and a half ago. I just wouldn't have.

That's not in my personality. I'm Much more conservative when it comes to that type of stuff. She's much more. Let's go for it.

And on the flip side, she probably wouldn't have even done midlifers. And I was like, we can do that, you know, so we just push each other just enough. And I think we have amazing. I don't think. I know.

We have amazing husbands that are really incredible cheerleaders. We have incredible kids that are really big cheerleaders. They're not embarrassed by anything, which is amazing. Amazing.

Wow, that's great.

It is great. Yeah. My teenage boy is cheering me on. Like, my boys really are like, go for this. This is funny. Put it out there. And I'm thinking, are you sure?

Because some of your friends are on.

Social media just committed to farting and walking away.

Yeah, I saw that one.

Is that okay? Yeah, yeah. But again, you know, but it's real. Everybody. It's so lovely to have a cheering section for everybody. You know, this.

I think that was one of the surprises too is unless you are actually doing social media as a full time gig, you don't realize how much time and work it is. Plus, we were coming to this as 50 year olds. We're like, have you edit this video? Oh my. You know, we would always say like by way of Chicago.

We're like, well, we got to the end product we wanted, but there was probably a more efficient, better way to do it.

There's always.

Yeah. So that, that's another kind of plus in our category is we're like, let's just try it. What?

Who knows?

You know, Right?

See what sticks. I mean, you never know, right? Like something could totally hit and just go bananas, you know?

That's amazing though, that you guys have supportive kids and especially supportive partners. Because a lot of women, I feel like, don't have that, you know, it's, it's.

And to launch a business too and then to also have that support must have been huge for you guys.

Yeah, it was.

Yeah.

What were the husbands like? What is their reaction to do they. Did they watch it? Do they. Like, are they involved at all? Like, how does that play out?

Mine, we call the super cheerleader. From day one, he was wearing merch and T shirts and he was, he wants everything midlifer and he thinks it's so fun.

They both are now very much into just supporting us however we ask. They're willing to be in the bits if we want them to.

There was one several months ago where we were out on the slip and slides with the kids and they were diving onto the slip and slides, and we're all like, we're in our 50s. What are we doing? Nobody broke a hip. It was really positive. But they're just. They're along for whatever game we're at for merry.

Well, my husband does not want to be in front of the camera. That's all he cares about. Lisa's husband wants to be like, hello, I'm here. Let's do it.

He's so excited to, you know, we can always count on him to do anything. Give us another. Yeah, yeah. Person.

He's like your male lead, like, if you need him, you know, like, totally, totally, Right? That's amazing. So where do you get your inspiration from?

Is it, like, everyday life or what is it, like, something funny happens and you're like, oh, my God, we need to, like, put that on social media. What's your process for that?

I think it's a lot. You know, like I said, I sent the wrong thing for a zoom meeting. That, you know, that could be a hundred different things.

The kind of unintended or unexpected thing is this is. We have so many funny followers. Like, Lisa and I like to say we light the match and they just make it into a bonfire. It is so funny.

People will put down different comments or things, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. I never even thought of that. That's hilarious. This is be a whole separate thing all on its own. We just got to do this. So that.

That has been an unexpected thing, I think, for us is that we didn't realize that once people felt like we were creating a comfortable community where they could be honest and share funny stuff, then they went for it. It was so fun.

You mentioned you saw our Midlife for Confession piece. So we've run that a couple different times. And the reason we run it a few.

We've run it a few times is because the confessions make us cry with laughter. But we are. We pull up the confessions and we think we just were like, oh, these are so funny.

The ideas we come up with, we put them down and I'll call Suzette and go, you have to get on. They are so funny. We just this series on TikTok this time.

Oh, yeah.

And it depends. Like, some of the comments get funnier on Facebook or on Instagram, you know?

But this last round of midlifer Confessions on TikTok was so overwhelming.

So funny.

I, like, I put aside an hour and just sat there and cried in laughter from all these hilarious midlifers that are sharing Their stories, the number of people that leave their cars on and can't figure out why they can't lock it, go into the store for an hour and come back out and the car is still running and it's sitting in the. You know, I'm like, that's me. You're me. I relate to these people so well. So we're very grateful for that amazing community.

Well, it's so smart. Like you guys had that template, right?

And it's like one that could go on forever and ever and ever because everybody has some sort of a midlife confession, you know?

Percent and we're so pleased to like, we. The number of negative things we get is so, so minor.

And I think that was one of our big fears when we started about a year and a half ago is like, when you put yourself out on social media, you do open yourself up for criticism or just plain meanness sometimes. And gosh, this community's been so loving and so fun.

And you know, even in the comments, if somebody will say, hey, I'm struggling with this, I'd love to laugh. But, you know, I started my first chemo today for breast cancer, you know, and everybody will say, oh, I've been there.

This is, you know, thinking of you. It's kind of. It's kind of amazing to me.

So, yeah, how do you guys handle the haters? Like, because I do get a fair share of them too. And they're like, you know, oh my God. And it's like the most like basic.

They're like, you're fat, you're ugly, you're stupid, you're like, you know what I mean?

It's like.

And for me, I just. There. It's not, it's not like somebody I know is saying that to me.

That's like, it's like somebody in God only knows where Timbuktu behind their screen saying something, you know, and so it doesn't feel hurtful to me. I actually feel kind of bad for them, to be honest. But how do you, like. Yeah, what are your guys thoughts on these, like, Internet sort of trolls?

So number one, we have had almost nothing. We get hundreds of thousands of comments and we, I would say less than a thousandth percent, maybe a total of 20 negative comments.

The funniest part though is all those comments are pretty much based on one reel that we did.

Which reel is it?

Are you ready?

Yeah.

You're not.

Yeah.

You were asking if you liked being called a grandma or grandpa. Because our take on it is that this generation has A million different names. So I had to call my grandparents by their grandpa.

And then the last name, it was very formal, you know, Grandpa Davis. That was a very formal thing. Right.

We have lots of friends that are called Poppy and Pops and Mammy and whatever, whatever grandma names, but not a lot of Grandma and grandpa. So we thought we would just talk about it. We were like, oh, do you like if you call grandma or grandpa?

We got over a half million views within a day or so. And so much hate of people saying, well, you look like an old hag, you're lucky you're not a grandma.

Yeah. And like grandma is an honorific and you should be lucky if that should ever happen to you. You, you self entitled, you know, whatever.

I mean it was crazy. It was so crazy. It was so unexpected.

So they read it wrong to the point where Suzette turned off the comments because she said there's so much hate out there about grandma. And so we thought it was very funny. The most loving term we could think of turned into the most hated reality we had.

And we thought, okay, we're not touching grandma again. Apparently that's a dangerous word.

Ironically. Yeah, there hasn't been a lot since then. So we stay away from grandma.

Wow. So was it, do you know if it was mostly like men, women, you know, other midlifers, anything like that?

I think they read into the fact that we didn't think the honor came with grandma. As opposed to the. Being a grandma is wonderful. Right. What would you want to be called? And their point was Gigi.

That's like calling, you know, your teacher dude, you know, like nobody, nobody would call her a teacher dude. You'd say Mr. Smith, you know, or whatever.

I don't know. We just thought it was very funny that that's how it combined.

But almost that 100 of the time it is loving and encouraging and the people when they're putting themselves out there, like Suzette said, there'll be a pile on of 50 comments encouraging somebody to get through a hunt, something hard. And we just, we love it. We love that we get to light this little match and watch this amazing blaze of kindness.

Yeah. And we need it like we need it these days.

Right?

Like that's. I think that, that I'm glad you brought that up because that is one of the things also I noticed because there's all kinds of humor, right?

There's like, you know, funny humor, you know, I don't know, I'm perimenopause right now. I'm blanking off the word good, nowhere.

Us.

Yeah, yeah, it's all good.

All the kinds of humor, you know what I'm saying? But yours always puts like a. A huge smile on my face because it's so kind and it's like, absolutely.

And it's like, you know, you, you can tell your guys intention when you look at your page, you know, when you look at the videos that it is truly like, absolutely. And it's about connecting with people and making them not feel alone.

Yeah.

Which is so huge, you know, And I think we have to like do more of this, you know, because this, this time is so crazy, isn't it? The midlife. Like.

Yeah.

So bananas, just right. No rulebook, nothing.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, and what's so interesting is you don't have to be the same religion, political party, gender, name all the differences. Right. To be kind and kindness is universal.

And Suzette and I have a lot of differences in our lives and we just want to rally around that simple kindness. And when we started this page, we said that would be our foundation. Is it kind? And it was funny. There was a.

We pass along lots of things we see on the Internet because the Internet's a funny place to be. And we. I remember distinctly there was this one that was making fun. It was a. It was a midlifer that was making fun of being in midlife.

But they were making fun of a music artists and they were laughing along with it. But I thought, gosh, if we put that out there, if it was me that was being made fun of, I'd be totally fine.

But we didn't want to pile on to anybody who didn't know they were part of the joke.

And it was interesting because I thought that was a pivotal moment really early on to be like, yeah, it's funny if it's me, but if I'm piling on somebody else because there's so many memes out there and you're. You think, oh, that's super funny. And they're making fun of midlife. But is that person in on the joke? Did they put it out there?

And so if we're more than happy to make fun of ourselves and our friends if they're in on the joke.

But we, we really genuinely try and I'm sure we'll screw up, but we genuinely try to stay in our lane of just making light of our own situations because we don't know what somebody else is going through.

Yeah, very true, very true. Through this whole process too. Have you had setbacks or anything? That made you question, like, do we want to do this? Do we want to keep doing this?

Like, were there any bumps in the road or anything to make you kind of question things?

I think the truth of the matter is, is we're just two idiots bumbling along trying to figure this out. We don't know what we're doing. You know what I mean?

You know, this, this is, this is a job, an influencer, content creator, whatever, didn't exist, you know, 30 years ago. So that, that has been. We have learned some, some big lessons that way, like, ooh, oh, yeah, we messed up, you know, or.

But I don't think there's been anything that's been like, yeah, we should, we should cut this out. It's, we're done. If anything, I feel like it's gotten more and more welcoming and more and more people in this community.

So it's kind of been encouraging in my view.

And we've had a really non typical ride. This has been extremely fast paced. We hit 50,000 followers in June and we're over 400,000 right now.

So we are gratefully along for the ride, but we're building the ship as we're going, and sometimes we don't have an engine, sometimes we don't have a sail. We don't know what we're doing.

And we just are grateful for the grace of people willing to take this ride with us and laugh with us and accept that we sent a zoom link out for the wrong day, you know, or. Or that our equipment doesn't always work or whatever. Yeah, we are just grateful and we will do the best we can.

Yeah, I think, you know, a lot of times I think that that's almost the best way to do it, is to kind of just figure it out as you go. I mean, particularly with this kind of a thing and social media and like, just trying to figure it out as you go.

And mistakes can be such great learning tools, right? Oh, totally.

You're a pro. If you have other tips, we can talk offline. Like, here's what you need to do this. I, I see this. And yeah, 911 fixes.

I love it. Oh my God. Dying, you know, And I think too, I'm just going for it.

Like, I think so many women, especially in midlife, you know, are watching or listening and maybe have ideas of their own that they want to jump into or create something new or do something different, but fear holds them back. So what do you say to those women, the ones that feel stuck and like, maybe that fear is holding them back from doing what they truly want to do.

It's never too late.

Yeah. Early on, we had had a couple folks and we should probably bring this back up again.

A couple friends of ours who went to law school as a kind of a midlife thing or went to nursing school as kind of a midlife thing. And, you know, giving their story and acknowledging that it's a big scary change, but they can do it. And I, I am so encouraged.

I love stories like that because as long as you got tomorrow, you got, you got another day to do something different, you know, and that's kind of the beauty of midlife. Perhaps you have more income, perhaps you have more time to yourself. These are great times to start exploring. What do you want to do?

What would make you happy?

You know, it is so important to focus on yourself. Yeah. Especially now because we've given so much to everybody else. You know, it's like partners, kids, jobs, you know, friends, whatever it is.

And it's.

And we're not done either. That's the beauty, you know, again, that's the part of being in the middle.

You're not the older generation where you're like really starting to think about your sunset years. We have a lot of life to live, you know, God willing. So it's. Why not do something you love?

Yeah. Why not get out there and do it?

So what do you guys think is the most misunderstood thing about women in midlife that you like to expose through humor?

Most misunderstood?

Yeah.

That were boring. Oh, I think, I think, I thought 50 year old women were pretty flat. And if you get our friends together, there is nothing flat there.

There is so much laughter, so much engagement. And I also think because we didn't grow up with screens, we know how to entertain ourselves.

We just did a event at a pickleball place and everybody came in inflatable costumes and we laughed all night long. But that creativity came with years of party planning and fun and being interesting and, And I don't, I think middle aged women are downplayed.

Like they're tired, they're grumpy, they're just, they're. They're done. Well, they're done with stuff they don't want to deal with, but they're not done.

They're really fun and they're interesting because they've lived a life and they can entertain and they can have interesting conversations. So I think that would probably be my biggest one.

I think just even thinking about previous generations, I think there were pockets of those sorts of things. But I think something that's so wonderful about being in midlife now is we can take up space. We, we can be in those places.

We can have, you know, we can live out loud again. I think our parents generation had those times when they would have the gals over and play cards or whatever.

And again, it's never fair when you overgeneralize. So of course there were exceptions to this. But, you know, now I think I'm gonna go do whatever, not, no apologies, take up that space, be.

Be who I want to be and be happy about that.

Yes. And the, like, we have no room for it anymore. Right.

It's like such a great gift of midlife.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right. It's like, okay, we don't have time. We, our time is more intentional. It's so valuable. And it's like, why are we spending time on any bullshit?

Because I'm like, I am done with that, you know, and we shouldn't feel bad to say no, should we?

Nope, nope, nope.

Just wear a hat.

Nope, nope.

Yeah, I know, I saw that. I'm definitely ordering your guys hat because that's a good one. I'm like the. No, like, yeah, that's it.

Full sentence. Yep.

Yes. Yeah, yes. We don't need to explain ourselves, right? I mean, it's like there's so many gifts that come with this.

Totally.

And I think that's something we love to highlight too, is, gosh, maybe your eyesight is failing, maybe your dealing with a health crisis or you've got, you know, elderly parents who are struggling. But gosh, there are some good sunshiny parts of being a midlifer and you've got to hold onto those.

Yes, 100%. Now, you guys mentioned aging parents. Are you guys both dealing with that right now? And what does that look like? If so.

Well, yes, and it is. We've got two sets of parents in my life. That one set is still single, water skiing and very active, and the other set is physically ailing.

And it is really hard because you're watching people that you love struggle physically and mentally in a lot of cases, and you want to hold on to exactly who they were. Just like a lot of times we, we catch this memory of who we were.

And yet you also need to embrace that we're all mortal and how to allow people to live with dignity and when time go to the places they need to go and with dignity. So, yeah, it's hard.

I had a friend over here last night talking about how they feel like a full time caregiver to their parent who is now going to two and three doctor's appointments a week and they're still trying to raise their own family and make money and, and yet they want to give the dignity their parents to be able to take them to the doctor's appointments.

So this sandwich feeling of midlife can sometimes pull where you want to provide everyone with what they desire and deserve and yet you're stuck in the middle needing to take care of yourself too.

You know, my mom is very healthy and my, but my dad is dealing with some health, like serious health issues.

And yeah, I mean, I just, I, you know, you look at these, you know, parents and you think, gosh, when you're young, you're like, they'll, they're like super parents, you know, like Superman and superwoman and you know, they're so strong and able bodied and like, you know, take care of you. And then when the tables get turned and you're in the caregiving position, it's like, it's wild, you know, you just, it is, right?

Isn't it?

You just, and you see them just progressively getting, you know, older and maybe sicker and it just, it's a, it really messes with your mind, you know, like, it's, it's crazy, right?

Yeah, well, and ultimately there's love there, right? That it's an emotional love and dignity that you want to give everybody that you hope will also be returned to you.

But there's no way to get out of this earth except for dying. So we're all going to go through it once we get here. It's kind of a contract we make.

So it's figuring out how to navigate that in the most respectful and loving way.

But see, this is another situation where we can make, you know, find some humor.

I mean, we were just talking about, you know, if you're, if you say one of your parents passes and your other parent is starting to date again, you know, like walking them through be, you know, being on the apps and how do you be careful? Like these are conversations you never thought.

You would have in your whole life.

And so, and it's kind of funny. It's kind of funny, you know, I.

Mean, watching your 70 year old parents start the dating app is entertaining. Bizarre.

Bizarre. Yeah. Again, if you find it funny, you know, as long as nobody's in danger or whatever.

But it, you know, again, it's one of these things where you're like, oh gosh, oh, whoa, that is happening to me.

You know, I just say accepting a step Parent when you're in your 50s, like, what is that? And so there's lots of ways you can make light of it and laugh. And that's our experience. So we're gonna, we're going to laugh and helpful.

Hopefully people find it relatable.

Absolutely. Well, just when you say our aging parents like, getting on the dating apps, I just think about how much tech support I've given them over the years.

Yeah.

And like, to even see them try to function, to try to like, get on the dating app in and of itself, like, already, like laughing my head off thinking about that. I'm like, probably can't even open the app.

Oh, but see, and then again, turnabout is fair play because then Lisa and I are like, how do you edit this? I can't get this thing to work.

You know, and then Lisa's, you know, teenagers come in like, okay, you guys gotta do this, you know, so I'm like, you know, and as long as you're humble enough to say I need help, it's okay. But it is funny. Yeah. My mom passed five years ago. My dad got on the apps right away and I was like, this is bananas. Oh, my gosh. You know.

Oh, my. Were you helping him, like, swipe through?

Like, he did not want any help. I. I did have to take some pictures for him. He's like, take this, you know, again. And I was like, a good picture.

Is important, you know, but ultimately, what do we want for everybody? Be happy. Yeah.

Yeah. So.

So however you find you're happy, we are 100% supportive. Yeah.

Right. Why shouldn't they? She. They should have another, you know, time to explore, you know, relationships. Because that's so important.

I mean, I think, like, right. Being lonely, that you don't want them.

To be lonely so hard, you know? It's so hard.

Yeah, right. And it's like a different attention and love that they get through. Like a romantic relationship versus, like a kid's relationship, you know?

Oh, my gosh, I will forget you guys. I remember. So my father in law, who has since passed, but bless his heart, he lived to 96. Like, he hit my mother in law.

Passed probably 15 years or so before he did. So he started dating again too, like after. And I remember he was making. He was so funny. He was like, oh, my God.

He's like, these women were like coming out of the woodwork for him, you know, it was like they were just trying to chat him up and everything. And he's like, well, he's like, I have a Full head of hair. And I still drive, right?

Totally.

Well, you've got it made in that dating world, right?

Yeah, we already have a gig working where we're going to talk about midlife or pickup lines. Like, hey, my blood pressure is 117 over 60.

You know.

Oh, my God.

What matters in midlife when you're dating is very different. Like, where do you put the thermostat? Yeah, that is a. That's a deal breaker.

100%. I'm like, my body is now a heater, being in perimenopause. And I'm like, keep it, like at 60 degrees at all times.

And my husband is like, but I'm cold. I'm like, no, don't care, don't care. Doesn't matter. Yeah, doesn't matter. Do you want a happy wife then? A happy life?

Totally, totally.

Yeah, I know. What are some of the other fun dating roles in midlife, do you think?

Dating roles or like pickup lines?

Dating pickup lines. Yeah.

What are some, like, hey, I still drive at night, you know? Yeah, you know. Oh, my gosh. Or just like listing the medications that you're on. Like, dude, I'm only on a statin. It's.

I barely need it for my cholesterol. It's fine. But I'm super active, you know?

I don't know.

Lisa's the way more active one for me. You could be like, oh, cuddled up.

By a fire, reading a good book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

With no sex expectation. Right.

That's the beauty again, once you have some mileage on your tires, you know what you're looking for in life, and that's okay, you know? Yeah. Yes.

I mean, I love that. I love that we have, like this life experience and it's like, it's. Honestly, this is the time to put it into play and put it into practice. Right?

Like, this is why we have to be louder and not quieter, you know? Like, that's the thing. I mean, this is. This is. This is where it's at, right?

Totally, totally. But on the flip of that, like, I have a 24 year old and, you know, and so speaking of being loud, I'm learning to just shut up, you know what I mean?

Like, it's her life. She can live at what she wants to do. You know, you get to make your choices, you get to, you know, make good decisions in bad.

So, you know, it's again, that sandwichy kind of feeling of, ooh, what do I say? You know?

Yeah, like what? That's interesting because my my daughter's 11, so she's kind of.

I mean, she's definitely, you know, cognizant of, like, what I do and, like, the things that, you know, go on.

But, you know, I was scaring my husband a little bit because I was like, yeah, so there's going to be a point where I'm, like, fully in menopause, and she probably will be in her menstrual cycle. You know, like, what are you going to do? And he's like, I'm gonna hide.

Yeah, Good call.

Right. Good call. Right.

Because it's.

It's crazy, right, to have all these things happening at once.

But that's what I love. You know, again, we. Like, we said at the beginning, there's no one way to be a midlifer. You.

You know, there's some people, like, I had my first baby at 43, you know, and you're like, great. Good for you, you know?

Yes. Oh, my God. I can. Somebody asked me the other day, they're like, would you ever consider. Consider having another child? And I was like, oh, my God.

Well, obviously, I'm 50. Probably wouldn't happen. But, like, you know, going back into, like, diapers and things like that at this point would be. I would go.

I mean, like, how. How could you do it?

Yeah, I think the sleep thing would probably end me.

Oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes. It's true. Sleep is so valuable, isn't it?

Totally.

Totally. Midlifers love a good nap.

We do.

We do love a good. Do you guys do, like, a daily nap? No. God, I asked. About to be really jealous. I'm like, please tell me more.

So, okay, what is the thing that you are willing to die on the midlife hill for that you probably wouldn't have when you were 30?

Ooh, that's a good question.

What are you going to die on the hill? Yeah.

I think being auth. Well, I'm going to say authentically myself. Right.

I think I've always thought I was authentically myself, but looking back, how I navigated to whomever I was trying to please or whatever was stereotypical in that time, like how you're supposed to be during your 20s. I was trying to be that. And however I was supposed to be. And I am so much more myself than I've ever been, and hopefully that continues to evolve.

But being authentically you is so freeing, and it also attracts all the people who actually like you for being you.

And so you dodge the drama and you dodge fake friendships, and you dodge all these things because You've already decided you don't like any of those people that would be attracted to that, and they don't like you. So it's freeing. And I think owning exactly who you are. And Suzette, to me, is such a great example, because she'll say, oh, just do that.

And I'm like, oh, is she pretending? And then she goes through with it, and I think, nope, that's just who she is. And that's what makes her a magical person.

And I look at my kids, and I constantly say, be exactly who you want to be. If you want to wear that, wear it.

But if you're wearing that for somebody else, don't, like, be authentically you as early as you can, and then it helps you find your people so much earlier. And I'm still in that stage, but I feel I'm closer.

Yes. Oh, my God. I love. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Just be who you are. You know, I think we're. We're so afraid of that when we're younger.

The hill I'm willing to die on is that in. As a midlifer, shoes with arch support are better than shoes without arch support. And in my 30s, I think I would not have said that.

I would have been, like, fashion supreme. But now, no, see, Lisa's all deep and kind and so sweet, and I'm like, give me a good arch.

Yeah.

I could not agree more. Because if you don't have the arch support, it messes up everything. Your back. I know. Your knees, like.

Yes.

The whole thing.

You can do it. You know what I mean? Of course we can wear heels and we can do whatever, but the next day, womp, womp. You know, sad.

It's an activity hangover.

Yeah, it is.

It is an activity hangover. And I would say heels and alcohol you have to use sparingly.

Yes. Yes.

I love that. Yes. It used to be just as wanted.

Now sparingly.

Back in the day, I was saying this to, like, a friend. I'm like, we used to.

My husband and I would open up, like, a bottle of wine, and we'd have, like, a couple glasses if we were cooking dinner or what have you. If I do that now, I will wake up with, like, the worst hangover ever. The next day, like, what is happening?

It's called an activity hangover.

Yeah, we believe in it. For sure. For sure.

Oh, my God. It's a total activity hangover. What are some of the other things like. Like the alcohol or the heels?

What are some of the other things you guys have noticed in midlife that you've had to make a change.

Moving your friends.

Yeah.

You're like, sure. Or your kids. You're like, yeah, I'd love to move you into the dorm. And then the next day. Yeah. Activity hangover.

Yeah. Like, you can do anything in midlife, but you might pay for it, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

Your body might not be happy the next day.

It won't. Yeah, right. Yeah. The Thanksgiving Day, you know, tackle football with your neighborhood.

Great.

Do it. Don't plan anything for Friday. Nope. Yeah.

Activity hangover.

Yes.

You will likely throw your back out and be in bed for the rest of the weekend. Correct. I think that for me. Yeah.

I mean, there's so many things that I feel like I've had to, like, kind of curb, you know, like, I really have to listen to my body now, though.

You don't have to listen. No. But you'll pay for it if you don't.

Yes, exactly. Correct. You will pay for it. It can be ugly. Like, the recovery time is not so cute.

Yeah. Agreed. No.

So what do you think? You know, I love.

Obviously, you guys communicate so well through humor, but behind the humor, what are some of the most powerful and liberating things that you have found in midlife?

Okay, you get to go first because you're telling me I was too serious.

No, no, you can be serious at any time. I just thought it was so sweet. And I'm like, I need a he. I need a good arch. Something most liberating. Oh, gosh.

I think the thing that I've been most liberated about in midlife is knowing that nobody else has it all figured out either. You know, as midlifers, you know, we. We have a lot of things that life experience has taught us, and we're totally, you know, a leg up on the.

Maybe like an 18 year old, but, you know, we're all just winging it. This is all our first, you know, our first trial here, and. And nobody's going through the same thing either. So what? I. You know what's hard for me?

It might not be hard for you, but that's, you know, and that's kind of my big take home message. You got one.

No, I. I think that's genius. We've never been 52 before. We've never been 53 before. And everyone is a hot mess.

Right.

It's just what degree you're burning at that time.

Right.

Everybody is absolutely a hot mess. Yeah.

And that's the thing we love to show, too, is, like, we don't have.

It all figured out.

You know, I yearly. I. Yeah. Yeah. Again.

And that makes you, you know, instead of feeling bad that you can't remember, you know, where you parked your car, which is, you know, not a good feeling. Yeah. We've all done it. It's okay.

Yes.

When you have to take. I always take the picture now of the. The space that I'm in, you know, because.

Especially at the airport. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Or like a huge shopping mall. Oh, my God. I'm like, where did I park?

D2. I'm on D2.

Totally. You're like, D2. Space 79.

I just type in new password every single time. Yeah.

Lisa never remembers a password. She just types a new one in every time.

I don't have any guilt about it. Meanwhile, Suzette writes them all in a book, takes a picture of the book, has multiple ways to remember a password.

We're embracing this process differently, and that's just fine. It's okay.

That's so funny. My husband gets so frustrated. That's one of his frustrations with me, is not remembering the password. It's like, well, can you just write it down?

And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no. I've got it. I've got it.

Yeah. No, you don't.

Yeah, don't have it. Don't have it. Perimenopause wins the password game every time.

Yes.

But there's no shit.

You know what I mean?

But again, that's kind of the beauty of being midlife. There's no game. There's no prize at the end for being like. And the award goes to. To Suzette for knowing her passwords the most. Who cares?

You know, Lisa's like, I. I reset it every day. Who cares?

You know, every single day.

You guys. You guys have to do the Midlife. Midlifer Awards. I see.

I mean, writing it down to my paper.

Already got some ideas from our conversation today.

I love that. The Midlifer Awards. Oh, my God. I'll be a presenter if you ever need one. One.

You're a red carpet pro. You are amazing.

We're gonna need some fancy bling dresses. I mean.

Yes, I can help you with that. I can definitely help you with that.

Amazing. I love that idea. I love it.

I know. The Midlife Awards. I can just see the category. I mean, there. There's so many good categories.

There are. There really are, right?

I feel like this is. This is gold. This is gold. Okay, so what advice would you give to your 25 year old selves laugh.

So much better than all the other options.

It's so fun.

And find your tribe. Go find the people who laugh with you rather than or and at you. Find those people too. They're fun. Just laugh.

It's fun.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think my advice to myself would be things don't always work out the way you think they will, but they still are good.

You know, I think when you let go of that preconceived notion of how life is supposed to be, then it's so much more freeing. There's good to be found in every situation, but, you know, might not be what you thought it was.

Well. And you don't gauge it on failure. If you have a preconceived notion of how it's supposed to go. Yeah. Then you didn't reach those milestones.

Right.

And this way there's different. Like you find the milestones along the way rather than it's a success or a failure preconceived notion. I think that's awesome. Yes.

And I always say let go of the timelines. Like, timelines don't matter. Right.

Like these unrealistic, like so good things that we write that we set ourselves up for that we need to have this done by this age and this done by this. It's like. No, no, no, no, no. Just live it day by day. Like figure it out as you go. Wing it.

So good.

Right?

So good. Yeah.

Don't you think?

Yes.

Okay. So what did 25 year old the two of you look like? Like, what were you guys doing at 25? Remember that was the turn of the century.

We were living very different lives and didn't know each other. What were you doing 25?

I was living in South Bend, Indiana when my finished. My husband finished law school.

You were married?

I was married. And.

Yeah.

Really not knowing what the next step was, but I was the main breadwinner for my family.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Yeah. Living in South Bend. Yeah.

I was very single and millennium New Year's I was in New Orleans and with 25 friends and prayed that I would someday find somebody. But that was not for another decade later. Again, goes back to your timelines. Like you just have to.

I think you need to have honorable goals and then just continue to move the timeline. The goal doesn't have to change, but your timeline. My.

Don't. Lisa. Don't let Lisa fool you. She was like a high powered, you know, political PR person. You know, she. She's been everywhere, done so much stuff.

Me, I was just. My little, you know, clerical job in South Bend doing, you know, Lisa's like, yes. I was on the presidential jet, and we went to South Korea.

It was awesome.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

Yeah, she's had some pretty amazing experiences.

Ditto. But we did them different. Like, right? I lived. I lived very single for a while and then embraced a family life.

Later, she had children younger and married younger. And I think they're both great. And I think if you're single, it's great.

And I think if you choose to have, I don't know, a house full of cats, it's great. Like, what. Whatever brings you joy, go do that.

Yeah.

Yes, I agree. I think you have to just do what fulfills, like, your. Your heart, you know, and it's like, whatever that purpose is.

And, yeah, I mean, you can look at you. Two of you had totally different paths, but you came together at this, like, united front. You know, it's like.

It's amazing how everyone's story is so different, but, like, totally. So rich, right? Like, it's so cool.

And now we're chatting with you, Roxy.

I know.

Who knew red carpet?

I know.

The queen right here.

I mean, no, I'm so excited. I was, like, fangirling talking to you guys. I'm like, these girls are awesome. I'm like, I can't wait to chat with them. This is so fun.

See, we're all. We're totally professional. Look at this situation right there.

You mean business with headphones and microphones?

We have professional. Listen.

Look at this.

This is fantastic.

I mean, you guys look more professional than I do. Like, with your full setup, I'm like, get it, girls?

Again, we're just fumbling our way through life and laughing as we do it.

That's the best way. Do it with humor. Always. Always. What is the biggest lesson you've learned in midlife?

I. My biggest lesson is there's no one way to do it, and everybody's got their own path.

Again, just talking about, like, your path, Lisa's path, my path. You know, maybe in midlife you want to go back to school. Maybe you decided you're going to retire.

You know, fitting into a box is not something that I think benefits anybody.

Yeah. Joy comes in all sizes and shapes, and I think it's not. It's not an end game either.

There's so much joy in the journey, and we're really lucky to get to continue our journey. And so every day we get. I'm gonna find that Joy.

And hopefully, hopefully we're able to bring a little joy to someone else in that process, because that just multiplies.

Yep.

And that's pretty much our whole goal for midlifers. You know, we want to make people feel seen and give them a smile and sprinkle joy along the way.

That's our home.

Well, you can tell. I mean, you guys are so, like, people are. Are really responding to what you guys are doing.

I mean, you can tell by the comments and just the following, like, all these good things. So it feels like you guys have really tapped into what you're supposed to be doing right now, which is amazing.

But I also wanted to know, how are you guys living iconically?

Do that again.

Oh, Roxy, listen. I hit my own garage with my own car and ripped up the bumper of my own car, and it's in the shop. This is. This is Suzette.

This is the icon.

Suzette. Icon. Yeah. Yeah. This is.

This.

This is my icon. This is my whole life. You know, my. My iconicness is I'm a hot mess, and I own it, and it's hilarious. Oh, I don't care.

So good. It's so good. Okay. How are you living iconically?

How are you?

Oh, I'm hanging out at the school PTA meetings. You know, it's really glamorous. The things that we do are just glamorous. And I think that's. That goes back to being authentically yourself. Right.

Sometimes this right here might seem exciting or getting a box. Yeah. But I mean, or getting a box of free merch, and. Oh, that's so exciting.

But ultimately, it's just like when you're a new mom and you're still changing diapers, like, does. It's just part of life. Life is a hot mess and fun and messy.

And I think the joy of midlife is the more you embrace it, the more every little aspect of it is iconic. I could sit and watch Suzette in all her antics daily, and to me.

That neighbor, so she could actually see me with my own garage, with my own car, you know?

But that, to me, is iconic. It's so much more memorable and funny than anything I'm going to see on a big movie screen. It's real life, and it is where true joy comes from.

And so I think just embracing all of. All of your hot mess makes all the little things in life so much more fun.

Yes.

And funny, you know?

Absolutely. And even more so putting it out there because you're making other people feel like they're not alone.

Speaking of that, I like to think Suzette has taught me the skill of caring less. Like, just don't care. Just go be you. And I'm. I'm. That's my mantra. Just go be you.

I met the hairdresser a couple months ago, and I just had gotten color put on my hair. I mean, like, it was actually. It wasn't done. She was midway through the hair, and I get a call from the school nurse. Your child's throwing up.

So I call my husband. He's like, I'm in a meeting. I can't get there. And I call two neighbors. They're not home. And I'm like, nobody wants to throw up at school.

I gotta go get my kid. My awesome hairdresser. Shout out. Colleen King says, I'll just put a. I'll finish the color really fast. I can do it in five minutes.

And you can leave with a shower cap. And I'm like, yes, do it. Let's go. Call the nurse back. I'll be there. I'm coming. Mom to the rescue. I run out of the hair salon.

I'm driving there only to realize I have hair dye on and a shower cap on my head, A clear shower cap. And I have to go into the school. And I do care. I care a lot. Because this. I look ridiculous. I look ridiculous to my.

Like, to my family at home, let alone to see the neighbors and the principal. And I'm like, okay. So I call the nurse back, and she says, I. You actually have to come in and check her out. And I said, I am in a shower cap.

And she's like. And then I thought, you know what? Just do it.

I get out of the car, and the first person I see is one of the people who knows everybody in the whole school. And I'm like, of course.

It's that mom, right? It's that mom.

It's that mom. And I was like, you know what? This is me, though. This is part of life.

And immediately after feeling totally humiliated, I was like, I'm going to film this. Because you know what? This is real life, and this is me truly embracing who I am.

And so now I'm going to put it on the Internet for the whole world to see me in my shower cap and my colored hair and just be like, you know, own it. I'm a hot mess right now. My kid's puking. I got hair dye. I got a shower cap. I'm in public. But guess what? That's life. And that's okay.

And it's funny, actually, if you really. You can shy away in the upset or you can lean in and laugh and thanks for the people in your life that teach you that, you know.

Yes. That's a gift. That is a gift. What about, like, is there mom drama at your school? You know how, like, mom drama is this big, like, topic right now?

Lisa was the president of the pta. If she and her husband were so, you know, Lisa knows everybody, but I.

Don'T know any drama. Probably because I'm too out of it. Or they're like, she won't get it. I just stay out of it. I stay out of it.

That's a beautiful. The beautiful, beautiful midlife thing, you know, where you're like, ah, I'm not gonna dip my toe in that. You know what?

All y' all can, you know, have that going on, but I don't. I don't need it.

I'm good. I probably can't hear them talking about it. So stop. Or I can't figure out the technology. I'm like, I don't know.

It's a gift. It's a gift.

She's amazing.

Yeah, I know. I. That's. That's the thing. I'm like, gosh, those Hollywood moms that are in that whole drama circle, they just need to kind of let it go.

I mean, life's too short, right? It's like, guys, you know, come on, just laugh. Yeah, just laugh. That is key. Humor solves a lot. It does, right?

And even more of a gift when you can laugh at yourself, you know?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Which you guys have mastered. We love the midlifers. What is next for you guys?

The big screen. No.

Yes.

I want a midlifers movie.

No, no, no, no. Oh, gosh. Nobody wants to see that.

Nobody wants to see that.

Everybody wants to see it. Everybody.

This isn't made for the big screen.

We're just going to keep on doing what we do, and we would like to plan some events where we can have midlifers get together and kind of build their community outside of online. But we're just going to keep on doing what we're doing, because I think the lesson we've learned is people want to hear it. So we're excited. Yeah.

And this is so great. We're so flattered that you invited us on today. And it's so. It's such a. That's one of those things, you know, again, we.

We see people on comments and things like that, but when people reach out and say, let's actually Talk. What a treat. And so we're so, so grateful that you gave us this opportunity today. Thank you.

Thanks for being a midlifer who's killing it.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

You're of it.

Yeah.

Thank you. I'm trying my best. You know, some days are harder than others, but as we know, it's like up and down.

No, but I. I am so grateful for the community and for the community that you guys are building, too. I mean, amazing. Amazing. So we will have to hang out in real life, too, because I have.

A feeling we'll have super fun. Super fun. We would love it anytime.

Absolutely. So please tell everybody where they can find you. I'm sure they all listen to you.

But just in case, come join the fun. It's midlifers underscore. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.

And YouTube.

And YouTube. But on YouTube, it is midlifers on YouTube. We're just getting started over there.

Oh, cool. So what kind of content are you going to be putting out on YouTube?

It's the exact same thing.

Nice. We love it.

Shorts.

Yeah, just. Yeah, we got to stay in our lane. You know what I mean?

Well, definitely check them out, you guys, for a good laugh. You know, you will enjoy their content so much, and I am so excited because they are actually coming back for Thursday's episode.

As you know, we always drop the game episode on Thursday, so we're gonna have so much fun with them. We're gonna play a fun game, which I know we're gonna get a lot of great, fun answers out of you guys.

So I'm excited for that and I'm just so excited you guys are here. So thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Roxy. Have a great day and thank you for thinking of us.

Thank you. If that conversation didn't make you laugh, rethink something, or feel wildly seen, I don't know what will.

Suzette and Lisa didn't just bring the humor today. They brought the truth behind the humor. And that is exactly what this stage of life deserves. Less performing, more owning.

If this episode resonated with you, take a second to follow the show rate, read it, and leave a review on your favorite podcast app or YouTube. It's the simplest way to support the show and help other women find it.

And if someone immediately popped into your mind while listening, that friend, sister, co worker, or group chat queen, send this episode to her. Because midlife isn't meant to be navigated quietly or alone.

And remember whether you're breaking, breaking cycles, setting boundaries or just figuring it the fuck out. You're not crazy. You're evolving, and that's iconic. I'll see you next time on the Iconic Midlife.