Arguments with loved ones that just suck the life out of you 

Ever had an argument that left you confused ?

Why is the person not getting me ?

Why are we even talking about this ?

why is everything so heated all of a sudden ??

Conflict is a part of every relationship 

If you notoriously try to avoid conflict you are not being honest with yourself :) 

Conflict will almost always arise in a healthy relationship and this is great because if all parties involved have the same goal : "let’s grow and get stronger", all is good .

If you are in it to destroy, intimidate, violate and manipulate you will not last long or end up with a partner who is completely emotionally crippled .. that’s not what we want , right ??

We want to be aware that EVERY person perceives life very differently 

What upsets you might be a piece of cheesecake for others. 

What is totally exhilarating and enjoyable for you might be totally annoying and scary for another person

To understand that our nervous systems are wired very differently and that the way we perceive the world is highly dependent on how we interpret life and the world in general.

Welcome to the Borealis Experience Podcast and Aurora Eggert Coaching 

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Enjoy this new podcast episode today for you :) 

listen here or on #spotify #applepodcast

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Lets dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:05

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. It is Monday. And yeah, Monday and Thursdays

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are the days I publish my episodes. And I usually only

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record my episodes shortly before except when it's

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interviews. And because I love what I do so much, it doesn't

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feel like now I have to do this, I have to go into my room and

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record something for you. It is something that truly brings me

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joy. And to receive your feedback is so incredibly

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precious to hear your comments out. To connect with you is

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just, yeah, such a blessing. And this is why it doesn't really

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feel like work. Of course, there's days where I feel not as

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motivated and creative as others. But I feel it's a

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beautiful way to connect with people from all around the world

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and to share my thoughts, my feelings, my tips and tricks

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with people who might need them is is a source of deep

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satisfaction. If you ever feel ready to engage on a coaching,

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journey with me, please don't hold back. It's an incredible

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journey that can be very fun and revealing. And can be a little

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bit uncomfortable at times. But all in all, the people I've

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coached so far experienced a beautiful shift in their reality

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in their life and their way they perceive life and their

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relationships, were able to go deeper. They were more clear

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about what they wanted in life. And it's just so beautiful to

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see a person blossom and get unstuck. It's just like when a

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truck gets stuck in the heavy mud, or in this deep sand. And

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you get to empower people and provide people with tools that

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can help them, help them get unstuck. You can always reach

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out to me on Facebook, and I'll be excited to hear you out and

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see if we are a match. Today I want to talk about silly little

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arguments. I thought about what I was going to talk about today

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and I was like, shit, there's so much going on in this world. And

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chances are that you watch the news. And you know that yeah, we

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as humanity are going through a deep circle, times of darkness,

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despair and confusion. There's also people who will thrive and

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are very happy and in a good place. But the majority of

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people it's like suffering right now. And so I thought about our

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daily lives, even though there is you know, big stuff going on

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in the world. We still have our daily lives, we still have our

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little conflicts that need resolution. And sometimes you

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can't find resolution right away. And sometimes you want to

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was that argument even necessary. So that is what I

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want to talk about today. Sometimes, there's energy

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building up inside of ourselves, you know, we consume content.

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That irritates us, that scares us that annoys us. And we have

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kind of that build up or negativity inside of ourselves.

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And then we meet with a partner with a friend with a stranger.

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And they say something that deeply triggers us and now all

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of a sudden all that shit that has been accumulated inside of

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us is being unloaded into that little argument into that

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situation into that, you know, person thing that triggered us.

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And sometimes it's not fair because that person has nothing

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to do with our build up from previous stuff. But they just

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said that wrong thing, they just did that wrong thing. And it

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just, yeah gave us an opportunity to let it all out.

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Another thing I want to talk about is that sometimes our

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perception is so different, we perceive life so differently,

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and we have a totally different interpretation. When it comes to

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certain situations, for example, tech a, person A, and person B,

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watching an accident, a traffic accident happening. And you'll

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ask these people separately on what they saw. And sometimes you

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think that those people have been in different parts of the

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world, but certainly not at a similar location watching the

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same accident. And why is that I believe that this is genetically

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a genetic disposition on how we perceive life, the experiences

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we have made, and so many more things play into how we perceive

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life. There has been reached research done, for example, on

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children, because a couple of people noticed that there's some

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children and playgrounds that are very brave, and they just

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climb around everything and, you know, balance over chords, or,

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you know, shaky bridges. And then there's the other kids who

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prefer to play in the sand and don't want to engage in any kind

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of adventure. And if those kids who play in the sand and don't

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want to engage in an adventure, are being placed on a bridge,

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they suddenly freak out and, and, you know, cry and want to

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crawl off that bridge. And it's a very, you know, dramatic

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situation for them compared to the little guys who were

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balancing on the bridge all along and swinging as high as

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possible. And they noticed that children are wired very

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differently. And it doesn't matter if you're a boy or girl,

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it has nothing to do with gender, it has everything to do

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with your nervous system, and how you process thing and how

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you perceive something as dangerous. We all have a

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threshold when it comes to danger when fear kicks in when

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our nervous system feels triggered to fight or flight or

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freeze. But it is all very very different when that state is

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being ignited. And same goes with silly little arguments at

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times with our spouse, with our partners with our siblings with

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parents. We perceive a situation very differently than they do.

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We express how we feel and for some reason, they might not

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validate how we feel because they perceive the situation very

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differently. And it can go the other way around as well that

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you are in an argument where you cannot make sense why the other

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person is feeling attacked or triggered or you know scared

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because you perceive a certain situation very differently. I

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want to share with you a quick little story here years ago, it

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was around daylight savings time. And there was person a

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feeling very affected about the time change. Person A got up in

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the morning and felt drained. Person A went through the day

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and come 3pm was not done with half of the to do list that he

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or she wants to get done and meets with his partner

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and the partner as well. How are you feeling? What's going on in

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your life today? And personaje just says, Hey, like that

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daylight savings is just throwing me totally off. I'm so

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tired, I feel rushed. It's, it's a little bit of a mess today.

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and person B, just nearly falls of her chair. And can like can't

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make sense of why Daylight Saving can affect you, as no

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effect on her. So why would it have an effect on the other

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person? And so they start arguing and 15 minutes go by and

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after 15 minutes, they both come to conclusion and say, Yeah, but

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what the heck are we actually arguing about? What is it all

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about, you have this view, this is how you feel about the

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situation, I have this view, is how I feel about the situation.

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So there's absolutely no point why we should argue about this,

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because our perception is just so incredibly different. I hope

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you can follow me, I hope it's not all too confusing what I'm

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sharing with you today. But I feel peace of mind. Peace in

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general, starts with us. We don't need to call on poutine or

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Ukraine or Russia or China or whatever is going on in the

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world right now. How are you dealing with your little micro

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conflicts on a daily basis, if not on a daily basis, in your

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daily life. And this will show how resilient you are, how at

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peace you are with yourself and the people around you and how

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much you have insights about the other people around you and how

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much you're open to see that. You can watch the same movie

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with five friends of yours, and you will all see a different

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movie. We all operate on a different level. And this is

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what makes life so incredibly juicy, especially romantic

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relationships when two people come together and are completely

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open with each other. Because that is when you learn from

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another person that is when you truly learn. What makes the

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other person tick. Who's the other person? What, what am I

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made of? What can I share with this other person and I explore

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this in my program that I'm just setting up for you guys and

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girls out there on how to Yeah, explore your past, present or

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future romantic relationships and how to become a better

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lover, how to connect more deeply with the people around

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you. And the better we know how another person is perceiving the

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world, the better we get along with them. Because then we don't

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need to argue them. We don't need to try and make a point

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because we know okay, that person is wired differently. And

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it's totally valid, because in the long run, I'm going to learn

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from them and maybe adapt or not, it's totally fine. But I'm

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going to accept them for who they are. And I'm going to make

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them feel validated on how they feel. And that is so extremely

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important. Does that mean that we have to overly compromise and

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that we're always going to be on the same page that we are never

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going to dis agree again? Certainly not my dear conflict

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is always going to be part of human relations. And it's

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healthy, it is good. A person who tries to avoid conflict at

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all cost is missing out on a lot of good information there

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because the way people argue with each other tells a lot

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about their relationship. Can they keep it calm? Can they you

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know, keep it civil? Or is it very passionate, but they are

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not harming each other? Is it very destructive and violent?

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Then you need to get help from the outside. But arguments

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conflicts are always going to be there and it's a good thing. You

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can't avoid them. You shouldn't avoid them. But what you can

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learn is to enter a conflict with a little bit more of an

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open mind and strong tools on how to To get your point across

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at the same time being open to listen to the other person, but

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being firm with how you feel. And then again, open about to

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hear the other person on how they feel. This is what you'll

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be learning. If you enter my coaching program about

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relationships. I'm very excited to create it for you right now.

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And to make you a better partner, lover, friend, sibling,

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father, mother, whatever relationship you want to be

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working on. All right, I'll leave you with this. For now.

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take really good care of yourself. I will have a shower

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and a big glass of water. And if you haven't drank enough water

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today, I encourage you to do that and take a deep breath. And

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know that creating peace inside of you is easier than you might

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think. And it is so incredibly critical. And these crazy times

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that we live in, I'm so grateful to be able to serve you. I'm so

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grateful to be able to hear you out. And if ever you have a

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request when it comes to topics, please let me know and I'll make

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it happen. Take care. Until next time, bye bye, Aurora.