Sexual abuse, sexual assault, and harassment can leave survivors feeling powerless, silenced, and afraid they won’t be believed. Attorney and survivor advocate Alreen Haeggquist knows that firsthand. She survived years of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse as a child and remained silent out of fear and shame. Today, she has turned that painful experience into a mission to help other survivors find their voices, stand up to their abusers, and pursue justice.

For more than 20 years, Alreen has represented survivors of sexual assault, sexual harassment, workplace discrimination, retaliation, and wrongful termination. As founder and managing partner of Haeggquist & Eck, LLP, she has recovered millions of dollars for clients while taking on powerful corporations, institutions, and individuals. Her belief is unwavering: wealth, influence, and status should never put anyone above accountability.

In this powerful conversation with Women Road Warriors hosts Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tuccaro, Alreen talks about why survivors often remain silent, why so many fear they won’t be believed, and how abuse can profoundly affect self-worth and a person’s ability to recognize abusive behavior later in life.

She also explains the importance of documenting misconduct, understanding your legal options, and having someone in your corner when confronting an abuser, employer, or powerful institution. Alreen shares why healing from trauma is a journey and how finding your voice can be an important part of reclaiming your power.

Beyond the courtroom, Alreen founded the HAE Fired Up Foundation to help survivors access resources for healing and empowerment. She is also the bestselling author of Fired Up: Fueling Triumph from Trauma, which chronicles her own journey and encourages other survivors to break the silence, find their voices, and move forward.

In this episode:

• Why sexual abuse and harassment survivors often remain silent
• How Alreen turned her own childhood trauma into a mission to advocate for others
• Why being heard and believed can be so important for survivors
• How Alreen helps survivors stand up to powerful people and institutions
• Sexual harassment, workplace discrimination, and survivor legal rights
• Steps survivors can take to document misconduct and explore legal options
• How trauma can affect self-worth and the ability to recognize abusive behavior
• Why finding your voice can be an important part of healing

Alreen’s message is powerful: survivors deserve to be heard, believed, supported, and empowered to reclaim their voices.

Learn more about Alreen Haeggquist: Alreen.com

HAE Fired Up Foundation: FiredUpFoundation.org

Get Fired Up: Fueling Triumph from Trauma: Fired Up book information

Haeggquist & Eck, LLP: HAE Law

Learn more about Women Road Warriors www.womenroadwarriors.com

#SexualAbuseSurvivor #SexualAssaultSurvivor #SurvivorAdvocate #SexualHarassment #WorkplaceHarassment #WorkplaceDiscrimination #SurvivorSupport #TraumaHealing #HealingFromTrauma #BreakingTheSilence #FindingYourVoice #WomensEmpowerment #SurvivorRights #AlreenHaeggquist #WomenRoadWarriors

This is Women road Warriors with Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.

From the corporate office to the cab of a truck, they're here to inspire and empower women in all professions.

So gear down, sit back and enjoy.

Welcome.

We're an award winning show dinner dedicated to empowering women in every profession through inspiring stories and expert insights.

No topics off limits.

On our show, we power women on the road to success with expert and celebrity interviews and information you need.

I'm Shelley.

And I'm Kathy.

What does it take to turn unimaginable trauma into a life dedicated to helping others heal?

Our guest today has done exactly that.

Alreen Hedquist is an attorney, best selling author and fearless advocate who spent over 20 years fighting for survivors of sexual assault, sexual harassment, workplace discrimination, retaliation and wrongful termination.

She's the founder and managing partner of Headquist and Eck llp.

Elreen has recovered millions of dollars for her clients while taking on some of the nation's most powerful corporations, institutions and public figures, proving that wealth, influence and status should never place anyone above accountability.

But L Rhein's mission didn't begin in a courtroom.

It began in childhood where she endured years of sexual, physical and verbal abuse at the hands of her father while living with a devastating silence that often surrounds abuse.

Like so many survivors, she carried that pain in secret, battling depression and even surviving multiple suicide attempts before finding the courage to reclaim her voice.

Today, she uses that voice to help countless others find theirs.

Beyond her legal work, Alreen is the founder of Hae Fired up foundation, which supports survivors through scholarships, healing programs, grants, and trauma informed legal education.

She's also the best selling author of Fired Fueling Triumph from Trauma.

That's a deeply personal and empowering book that offers hope, healing, and practical guidance for survivors ready to move forward.

Alrin believes breaking the silence is where healing begins and that every survivor deserves to be heard, believed and empowered.

Welcome, El Ring.

Thank you so much for being on the show with us.

Oh, thank you so much for having me.

I'm excited to be here.

We are so excited to have you.

Oh, my goodness.

You are a true warrior and you're a warrior for others.

We are so impressed with you.

Thank you.

Likewise.

I read about both of you as well, so.

Well, thank you.

I was wondering to get started here, if you could maybe give us some cliff notes of how all of this began.

There's so much to unpack.

Yeah, there is a lot to unpack.

So I guess I'll go back to kind of a little bit about what happened to Me when I.

When I was a child and kind of, you know, getting out of that situation, kind of leading me up to where I'm at today.

So as you.

As you mentioned, you know, I suffered abused, you know, by my father in all the various ways.

He was, you know, emotionally abusive.

He was physically abusive, and he was sexually abusive.

And in the household, you know, I had a mom.

I was looking for my mom to save me and say something and protect me, and she never did.

She didn't have the courage or the voice to ever say anything to stand up to him, to.

To stop what was going on or to change the circumstances at home.

And so when I was growing up, I just thought that was normal.

That's how life was.

I didn't know any different, that it could be any different in a home.

And as a result, I was very depressed and, yeah, very sad.

And like, when I was young, the only thing that I ever prayed for, I did pray a lot, you know, was just to be happy.

It was a really simple request to not live in that conflict and chaos that I lived in.

And when I found out that I could get out of that house by going to college, I started putting all of my efforts into school.

School came naturally for me.

I was always a good student because I always wanted to be a good girl.

And so I always did well in school.

But then I learned, oh, I.

If I keep doing well in school, I can go to college.

And nobody in my family had gone to college, so it wasn't like I had any mentors at home to follow.

But I learned how to, you know, apply for some grants and.

And get some loans and how to apply for college.

And that's what I did.

And so at 18, I moved out of my house.

And that's really when I would say life changed for me.

Right.

I got to see a glimpse of the world in a.

In a different perspective.

You know, I met some really wonderful people who are still my friends today and who now I'm, you know, my partner that I'm married to and just saw how things could be different.

And so I thought I had, you know, escaped my home.

Life was wonderful.

Things are, you know, I'm doing really well and I'm really happy.

And that took a turn, I would say, you know, after I got married, things started going downhill and I couldn't figure it out.

I didn't know why I was feeling.

Feeling angry all the time and feeling sad all the time.

And then I gave birth to my daughter.

And, you know, when you Have a child.

Everybody talked about how this was supposed to be this magical experience.

And I was just constantly worried and just always worried about, like, being, like, hurting her, right?

Like that.

That disease that my dad had, that passed on to me, and I was going to do something to her.

And so I. I couldn't be present with her.

I couldn't just enjoy her.

And so I started therapy.

And again, since a lot of different healing modalities, working through a lot of different things and signing my voice, like, acknowledging what had happened to me, you know, coming out with it to myself through therapy and, you know, now publicly.

The only thing that's happened through that process is that I've become so stronger, more empowered.

I feel good in my own skin.

I have better relationships.

And so now that's why I'm on such a mission to share that with other women and share kind of the power of speaking out and the transformation it can have in your life.

You know, so many survivors are silent.

And isn't that also kind of what the predator or the perp kind of pushes?

It's.

It's.

They force the person into silence, especially with shame.

Yeah, that is a natural consequence of it.

The silence comes because you are so ashamed as to what happened to you.

You also feel like you are all alone.

Like, this doesn't happen to anybody else.

It only happened to you.

And so you keep, you know, you don't want anybody to know about it.

And I think that's what's so amazing.

When I started, you know, doing this work and coming out to myself as to what had happened, you know, the statistics.

It's like one in two women have experienced some sort of sexual violence in their life.

It's, like, shocking, right?

Half of us, and I actually think that number is low because of the underreporting that occurs.

The only way to change that is to talk about it and to, you know, flip the script.

Like, we shouldn't be the ones that are feeling the shame.

We should be putting it back on the person who did it.

That's right.

First of all, I'm really sorry that.

You went through that.

That's just absolutely horrific.

And I, too, have been through much, much, much abuse and sexual abuse from all sorts.

And so I. I cannot actually honestly say I understand, you know, where you're coming from.

And the hardest part about all that is just rising that fear, you know, the fear of.

Of saying something, the fear of retribution, the fear of consequences.

And.

And I, too, never said anything at all.

And it took me till I was 42 to actually say something.

And once I did, oh, my God.

Like, it.

It was unbelievable.

So I'm really glad that you found your voice through therapy early on and that you are doing what you do to help others rise and be that lighten for those that are still in the dark.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you for doing the same.

And I'm glad you said that.

Right.

Just like before you do it, you don't think it's possible.

Right.

It's like, I can never say it.

I could never let this out.

And then once you do, you're like, oh, wow.

Well, I would imagine what you've experienced has really been a catalyst for representing survivors.

I would think that that has really given you the torch you're carrying to help these survivors, to give them a voice, to get them justice.

Yeah.

You know, I. I think for me, the catalyst and it could be, you know, the abuse itself, but I think the big part of it is how silent my mom was.

Right.

Like, I think that's a big catalyst for me, but I never wanted to be that.

Like, and now with any injustice, I can't keep my mouth shut.

I can't not say anything because I think that's something I wanted for so long.

And then the other piece of it is, is my own silence.

Right.

As I'm the youngest of 10 kids.

And so there's seeing things happen to your siblings and also not saying.

Saying anything.

And I know I was a child and I worked through that, but that also was a big impetus.

Like, I didn't say anything when I was a kid for all of these things that were going on in the home.

My mom didn't say anything.

And so just wanting to not do that again.

Right.

Like, and so I let.

Let it all out.

I let people know when they have harmed somebody else that has, you know, given me the honor to represent them.

They're not just going to get away with it.

Sure.

Stay tuned for more of women Road warriors coming up.

Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.

I have one question for you.

Do you want to stop worrying about the irs?

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Welcome back to Women Road warriors with Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.

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We're talking with attorney, bestselling author and survivor advocate Elreen Hegquest, who spent over 20 years fighting for survivors of sexual assault, sexual harassment, workplace discrimination, retaliation, and wrongful termination.

The statistics are staggering.

One in two women have experienced some sort of sexual violence in their life.

But too many don't tell anybody.

They remain silent.

Silence can be one of the most powerful weapons an abuser has.

Fear, shame, and the belief that no one will understand keep survivors from speaking about what has happened for years or even decades.

Irene knows that silence personally.

She endured sexual, physical, and verbal abuse as a child and carried that trauma without telling anybody.

But the story didn't end there.

She eventually found her voice and built a career around helping other people find theirs.

Today, after more than 20 years as an attorney, she's helped survivors confront powerful people and institutions and seek accountability for what happened to them.

Irene's story is about what can happen when silence finally gives way to a voice.

You know, Alrin, survivors need that voice to get justice.

Too often it's been blame the victim.

And I think that that's also why people don't come out and say something because, you know, they'll hear things like, well, what were you doing?

What were you wearing?

What were you wearing?

That's.

Yeah, that was my next thing.

Ugh.

Yeah.

What you're wearing should have nothing to do with it.

No one should tolerate any kind of abuse or any kind of assaults.

It's unbelievable the kind of double standards that still prevail.

And I think many women fear they won't be believed.

He said, she said, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Especially if they're dealing with a Powerful figure.

They feel extremely intimidated.

Has the legal landscape actually improved since the MeToo movement?

I mean, we don't hear about MeToo much anymore.

We don't, but we do.

But that was a big catalyst for change.

Right.

Kind of what we were talking about earlier, where women really felt like they were alone.

And so the MeToo movement, I think, was a great platform for women to know that they aren't alone.

And I think that's really propelled a lot of women to come forward where, prior to the Me Too movement, they might not have come out as prevalent as they are now.

So I do think that was a big catalyst for her people coming forward.

Um, I do think this new generation of younger people are more aware of the issues and are more willing to say something.

And when we stop normalizing, you know, certain behaviors as, oh, boys will be boys, that's also changing the dynamic, you know, of this problem in our society.

Yeah.

And with respect to the legal landscape, I mean, the.

The laws have all always existed or not always, but in my lifetime, these laws have existed.

But the laws only mean something when people are willing to act on them and to use them to.

To their benefit.

And I.

That's how I feel like the legal landscape is changing.

People are more willing to come.

Come forward, use the law to get the protection and to say something, to not let perpetrators get away with what they did.

And I agree with you.

Like, the first thing, you know, with.

With clients that come into my office and that.

That we represent, they haven't been believed.

Right.

They.

They've been told either they're lying or nobody's going to believe them, or if they say anything, you know, they're going to be ruined, whatever it might be.

That's been what they'd experienced prior to coming into our office.

And so that's a big part of what we do, is we hear you, we believe you, and we're with you.

And so we always have a team on each of our cases that they're surrounded by, including, you know, a survivor advocate who's there to help them through the kind of the emotional toll that a lawsuit might take.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, you're ripping open a wound.

Yeah.

And it's got to be incredibly scary because so often throughout a person's life, a woman's life, typically, they have not been believed.

And to actually have a team that says, we get it, that's so huge.

It is.

And I tell clients that, too.

Right.

Like you.

It's.

And I don't like saying this but it's not personal to you.

That is how they defend themselves.

They will always deny it, then they will always blame you, and they will always attack your credibility.

And that's done in every situation.

And so I do think it's comforting in that sense that, like, oh, it's not just me.

This is just how perpetrators and people who are trying to defend this conduct act because there is no defense to it.

The law is very clear that we don't tolerate this conduct in our society.

Yeah, yeah, well, sexual assault, sexual harassment, all of that in the workplace.

It's been going on for years, and women have kind of kept it on the DL because they want to keep their job, and it's terrible.

Has it gotten better?

I mean, are workplaces a lot more mindful of this or not?

I would say some are doing better.

Right.

And I do think that's where lawsuits come in.

Right.

Unfortunately, corporations, the way they listen is through money.

And civil lawsuit recovers money.

So when corporations are hit with this conduct and have to pay out, you know, money to victims, that does change conduct in a workplace.

So I do think, you know, civil lawsuits are changing that culture.

And also, as leadership changes, right, like where we get people who don't want this in their workplace, that also changes, changes the work dynamic.

And that's why I think at companies, leaders have to want their workplace to be safe for all.

You should never have to make the decision of wanting to provide for your family or being harassed by your boss.

You should never have to be in that situation.

And more leakers that want that in their workplace, the more that's.

It's.

That's going to allow, you know, other people to know that this place doesn't tolerate that behavior.

And it's amazing how this has been tolerated and dismissed as well.

You know, that's just what guys do, just get over it type of thing.

And.

Sorry, I find that very insulting when people say that.

Oh, I know.

But it has been sad.

Irene, like you said, the comment, boys will be boys, how the heck is that even appropriate?

I mean.

Right.

Yeah.

And I think it's, again, because we have normalized it for so long.

Right?

So that's.

What's the shift of changing that culture, changing that behavior?

No, it's.

It's not okay.

We go to work every day and we don't put our hands on other people.

Right.

We're able to do it.

Right.

And you can do it, too.

It's not that difficult.

And if you do, it is a big deal for the reason I just said you should never have to go to work to make a living.

Worried about whether your boss is going to touch you when you're there.

Just for clarification, because there may be some confusion.

What is considered sexual assault or sexual harassment?

Sure.

So sexual assault, which can also be sexual harassment, includes some form of catching.

So, you know, massaging your shoulders can be a form of sexual assault, and sexual harassment, patting you on your butt can be a form of grabbing your breasts.

Those are all acts of sexual harassment.

And sexual assault because there's touching involved.

But sexual harassment that isn't sexual as fault can also be verbal.

Right.

Where they're cat calling you, calling you, baby will call you by your first name.

You're only honey at work.

Those are all forms of sexual harassment.

Similarly, you know, visual displays, they wanting to show you naked photos of themselves or, you know, pornographic material.

Those are all forms of sexual harassment even though they don't constitute sexual assault.

So people have recourse when anything happens.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't.

Again, same thing.

You do not have to go to work and have your boss show you his naked photo at the gym or.

Yeah, ick.

I mean, keep your appendage in your pants or at home.

Yes, that's correct.

Don't need that visual.

No, thank you.

No.

And it.

I. I guess I have always wondered why the heck somebody even thinks that's appropriate, you know, I mean, what kind of psychopathy does this person have that they think that they can do those.

Kind of things and power and nobody's told them no.

Right.

Like they've gotten away with it for so long.

And what I've noticed in, in my career is usually it starts with small, small acts.

And the more they keep doing it, the more they get away with it.

It keeps increasing and the conduct gets worse.

And so that's why I think it from the beginning.

You know, if people can say something, even though you're trying to dismiss it, oh, it's not a big deal.

I don't, you know, I don't want to rock the boat.

I don't want to be that person.

But it's only going to escalate.

It's not.

It doesn't ever get better.

The person doesn't all of a sudden change.

They just escalate their conduct.

Does it differ from state to state in terms of what kind of recourse victims have or survivors?

I prefer to say survivor.

What kind of resource does a person have?

So I did civil cases.

So in.

In you always for sexual assault, there's always criminal matters.

But criminal cases don't always cover all of the conduct.

And you don't necessarily get kind of the recourse that you were looking for for a variety of different reasons.

And so civil cases get you money.

Right.

In our system, in our government, money is a form of justice.

Across the country, all survivors can sue civilly for the conduct and recover money.

The amounts in different states might vary just because of different caps and the laws.

Again, as a nation, we have federal laws that cover everybody across the United States.

And then each state might have state, state specific laws that cover them.

So I'm in California.

California has state specific laws that are better and that are more robust than the federal statutes.

And so here in California, we bring cases under those statutes that.

But regardless of your.

If you're in federal, bringing federal claims or state law claims, at the end of the day, it's money that the recourse is money.

There are instances where if you, you know, you report conduct and you get fired, you can get reinstatement.

Typically nobody wants that.

You know, you don't want to go back to that workplace that did that to you.

And.

But that is also another option that.

Would be incredibly uncomfortable.

Exactly.

Nobody wants that.

So the type of justice that the person gets financially should hopefully cover their expenses so they have enough Runway so they can find another job somewhere else.

And what about how does it work in terms of.

Obviously it would be really hard to use that company as a referral, wouldn't it?

I mean, I'm sure all of this stuff goes through a survivor's head.

You know, if I do this, what are going to be the repercussions?

What do I do?

What do I do?

Yeah, people are always, I would say so.

So the money is not only just for, you know, losing your job, but the money is also for the harm.

So, you know, sexual violence does have a lot of other harm that that result is anxiety, depression, ptsd.

There might physical manifestations as a result of the conduct.

And so that is all of the harm or the justice or the money that survivors are seeking in civil cases.

So depending on your harm is really kind of dependent on the amount sought.

And so that's, that's an avenue.

And you're right, when people come in, those are all of the things that you're worried about.

Right.

How is this going to affect my reputation?

Who's going to find out about this?

Am I going to be able to get another job?

And I say all of those concerns are there.

And on the Flip side, you know, what are you going to lose if you continue working in that environment and not saying anything?

Right.

And so when people reach that point, that's when they come forward is because staying there, allowing the conduct to continue, not saying anything is way worse than whatever consequences may arise.

Right.

You have no, you don't know what's going to happen, Right.

And so when they get to that point, they're ready to come forward.

And I would say, from my experience, even though, you know, women are scared of those things, you know, my clients do find other work and they are always better off.

I've never had a client who has come forward who is worse off than they were when they started.

They always start, you know, with me feeling that, like, helpless and hopelessness and like, you know, they don't really know what to do and scared and not in control of their life, leaving empowered and control in control and have, you know, found their voice to move forward.

And that does affect, you know, your confidence and your ability to find other work and, and do other things that you didn't really know was possible when you were in that situation.

You were, it's validation.

You were listened to, you achieve justice, and that is huge.

And you can go forward and maybe start the healing process because you may win the lawsuit, but that doesn't necessarily mean you've healed yet, right?

That's correct.

That's why, you know, I always recommend having a team, not just the lawyers and my team here, but, you know, having a psychologist or a therapist of some sort that you're talking to as you work through some of these issues and being surrounded by, you know, friends and people that also believe you and are supportive of you.

And you might have to let go of some people that are not.

Stay tuned for more of Women Road warriors coming up.

Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.

I have one question for you.

Do you want to stop worrying about the irs?

If the answer is yes, then look no further.

I've been around for years.

I've helped countless people across the country, and my success rate speaks for itself.

So now you know where to find good, honest help with your tax problems.

What are you waiting for?

Welcome back to Women Road warriors with Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.

We're back with attorney and best Selling author Alreen Hegwist.

Her best selling book is Fired Fueling triumph from Trauma.

You know, there's something remarkable about taking the very experience that once made you feel powerless and transforming it into a source of purpose.

Alrin's childhood was marked by abuse, fear and secrecy.

Today, she walks into courtrooms on behalf of people who may be experiencing some of those same feelings.

The fear of not being believed, the uncertainty about speaking up, and the enormous pressure that can come with challenging someone who has more money, status, or influence.

For Alreen, practicing law is about more than winning a case or negotiating a settlement.

It's about helping people regain something.

Abuse and discrimination can take away the belief that their voice matters.

And sometimes reclaiming that voice can change the direction of an entire life.

Alreen, what you're doing is absolutely amazing and so necessary.

So what are some of the lawsuits that you have handled?

Is it always workplace oriented or.

I would say the majority of the lawsuits are workplace oriented.

But then there's the sexual assault cases against institutions.

Think of mental health care facilities or hospitals, you know, massage parlors where sexual violence happens.

And so those are the other types of cases that we do here.

The sky's the limit, unfortunately, with that sort of thing.

And it's going to take a long time to convince society this is not cool, it's not appropriate.

We just don't do this.

But you're still going to have people who are, in my opinion, just basically evil, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, you're.

I don't know if you've heard there's a huge number of these types of cases having happening, you know, in the rideshare companies.

So that's another big prevalent problem where drivers are assaulting, you know, the women that come in for a ride.

And it's shocking the amount that's happening there.

But I agree.

I think I go back to once they know people are going to be quiet about it, they are going to face consequences for it and it's going to be flipped on them.

You know, I'm hoping that's what changes the societal norm that's currently in existence.

I have heard some of those stories.

That's absolutely scary.

So what does somebody do when they encounter something like that?

Yeah, so obviously that should not happen, but yeah, there's a ton of lawsuits filed all over the country as a result of it.

Well, they would have to, actually, if they want to get any kind of financial reimbursement, they'd probably have to go after the company, not the driver.

Right.

That's Correct.

For allowing that to happen.

Right.

To not have the background check of the driver or, you know, they've already received a complaint about the driver, letting him be in there.

Sure.

Well, you know, and you're talking about hospitals and nursing homes, for instance.

A lot of times nursing homes don't vet the employees.

Well, there are people who are coming to take care of the elderly, the disabled, and.

And they have criminal records.

And how the heck are they even hired?

Because that's how this sort of thing happens.

And then you've got the family members not sure what to do.

Yeah, I'm seeing it there.

And then also the other place that we're seeing it happen a lot is mental health care facilities.

Not even just by the person who works there, but by other patients.

Right.

And that same analysis, which is, you know, what did you do to vet this person?

And if they have a sexual violence background, you know, they shouldn't be admitted in your facility.

So we're seeing that as well.

And school systems, you can see teachers who are having sexual relations with their.

The students.

Unbelievable.

And that's not.

That's been going on for years.

I think it's just talked about in the past few decades.

But that's how our.

The survivor advocate that works at our office, that's how she got into being a survivor advocate because her child was molested by a student.

And so just navigating the process, she became very passionate about helping others navigate the legal process.

And so that's how she got into the work that she did.

And, yeah, it's like the stats are always shocking to me and really sad, especially in all these relationships where there's so much trust that people have and they break it.

What are some of the stats in terms of the schools?

I imagine it is absolutely scary.

Yeah.

I don't remember it off the top of my head.

I feel like this conversation was scaring all the listeners, but I don't remember the stat off the top of my head.

But it's really more prevalent than anybody thinks.

And the problem is that what school districts do is they just move the teacher or whoever is committing the conduct to another school.

So we call it tapping the trash, and they just move the person to another school for them to do it again.

And so by the time that they finally are removed from the school district, they have already harmed, you know, multiple students.

Yeah.

That's unbelievable.

Yeah, it's a greatest.

Yeah.

No, when something like that happens, the person should no longer be in the classroom, period.

It should be in Jail?

That.

Yes, that too.

You betcha.

Yeah.

It's similar to the Catholic church.

It's just they move the person somewhere else.

Hope they can try to, like, brush it under the rug.

Right.

Oh, so wrong.

Yeah.

You expect to be able to have your children in a safe place.

And that's an aspect of saying there's.

So much trust and the child has so much trust in the teacher.

Right.

And the adult figure.

And when that's broken, it's really hard to recover from that.

It really is.

Yeah.

So when somebody has gone through all of this, there's so many dynamics a person goes through.

How do they heal?

I mean, winning a lawsuit is one thing, but it's a journey.

Yes.

Healing is the journey.

There's no, there's no end point.

And, you know, I believe that the, the way to heal is to let it out.

Right.

So many of us just keep it inside and don't share it.

And so I think the first step is always at least, you know, acknowledging that it happened.

And if you're not ready to talk about it, you're not ready to file a lawsuit, um, you're not ready to write a book, whatever it might be.

The first act is always just journaling it, like getting it out of your head and putting it somewhere.

So it's just.

Just not ruminating constantly inside of you.

Your hae fired up foundation supports survivors.

Did you want to tell us a little bit about that?

Um, you know, I, for me, going, being on this journey and kind of just seeing the change in myself from where I started and to where I'm at, and I'm talking about just like my physical and mental well being.

I really want other women to feel that way and I know it's possible for them, so.

And I don't want the lack of resources to be an impediment.

So the haired foundation is really a way to give back to other survivors who are trying to be on their healing path, trying to make a difference in their own lives, finding a way to help them do that and helping others who are wanting to do that work to help other survivors get the funds that they need to.

To help others.

So that's why it was created as a form of just giving back, because I know it's possible and I want other people to experience what I have.

I love how you're paying it forward and you're empowering so many people and your book's doing the same thing.

Fired up, fueling triumph from trauma.

What does your book cover exactly?

So it tells My, My story and my healing journey, and then it's showing women how to find our voice, right?

We're.

We're so scared to speak out.

And so it's a way to show, you know, how you can find your voice, how you can speak out.

And once you do, you know, kind of the life that you can live,.

You know, finding our voices, that's something that is really hard to do.

It is.

It took me, honestly, till I was 42 and in therapy to learn the word boundaries, what it meant, to learn the words codependency and to actually learn to say no.

Wow.

It was one of the hardest things.

For me to do was set those.

Personal boundaries and stand by them without having to explain why I. I say no, you know, and just be comfortable in my own skin.

But it took a long time.

Change doesn't happen overnight.

Yeah.

Yeah, it took me a long time, too.

So this idea that it's overnight, I think that's where people kind of get, I guess, stuck or kind of stop is they think it's going to be instant, and it's.

It's not.

But you have to have the space and you have to want it.

I can say one thing from, from my history of just extreme violence and abuse and trauma and all that.

And when I got into operating heavy equipment in the oil.

Oil sands, working, going there for the first time, I was only the third woman hired back then.

And going into a place where it's all male dominated with, you know, big egos and testosterone and these big tough guys, you know, and then there's me who's, like, still shaking in her boots, even though I just, you know, spent a couple years in therapy, but still to find my own voice, to stand on my own two feet in front of these big tough guys was really, really hard.

But I wasn't backing down.

And I insisted that, you know what, Whatever happened to me does not define who I am.

It does not define my tomorrow or where I'm going.

And this stops here.

So I had to literally push myself out of my own skin and just to almost, almost see the visual of, of a caterpillar popping out of the cocoon and see myself put my feet down on the ground and say, no, this stops here.

I love that.

I think that's so important.

I tell people that, you know, the experience that happened to you, it already has taken so much.

You know, how much more are you willing to keep giving?

Right.

And so that's hopefully encouraging to wanting to make changes and seeing yourself differently.

Right.

Kind of what you did.

Caterpillar.

And you gotta like, like what is it that you're trying to accomplish?

And I think that keeps you motivated.

And I kind of find it funny.

Because I operate the world's largest equipment and it's caterpillar.

A little, little side note, a couple years ago my daughter was looking, she does research on bugs all the time and she does all these collections on reptiles.

And she sent me a screenshot.

She says, mom, I was looking for caterpillars and I found you.

So there's six pictures of caterpillars and then there's Neba standing in front of my truck.

I kept that.

It's like the most priceless picture.

That's great.

Stay tuned for more of Women Road warriors coming up.

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Welcome back to Women Road warriors with Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.

Our guest is attorney and survivor advocate Alreen Hegquist, who's the author of Fired Up Fueling Triumph from Trauma.

She also founded the Hae Fired up foundation, for which supports survivors through scholarships, healing programs, grants and trauma informed legal education.

Her efforts are so valuable to survivors.

Speaking up is difficult enough when the person who harmed you is someone you know.

Add money, professional status, institutional power or influence to the equation and that imbalance can become enormous.

A survivor may wonder who's going to believe them, what speaking up could cost them, or whether challenging someone powerful will make the situation even worse.

Al Reena spent more than 20 years working in that space.

Her legal career has included cases involving major corporations, institutions and prominent individuals.

Her position is straightforward.

Power and status should never provide immunity from accountability.

That conviction is deeply connected to her own history and to the work she now does for others.

She's been giving us some amazing information, Elreen.

You know, it is true when someone has been sexually abused as a child, quite often that really impacts their self esteem and how they perceive themselves and also their reality.

They may not even recognize sexual abuse in the workplace either, because they devalue themselves.

I mean, when you're healing, you're basically finding yourself again the person that you were supposed to be.

Yes.

Finding your power.

You've always had.

But, yeah, circumstances have diminished it, and.

It's just a travesty because it's violence.

It's the power trip that a perpetrator has, and when it happens to children, oh, it's terrible.

It's.

It's just egregious.

There's so many words, some of them foul, that I could use to describe that.

But then when it goes on in the workplace, it's unbelievable that it still happens.

We're in modern society.

How the heck does anybody think it's appropriate?

Right.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know why they think it's appropriate, but I'm just here to let them know that they're not going to get away with it.

Not under my watch.

Good for you.

I'm so grateful for everything that you're doing.

Oh, my gosh.

You're giving voice to the people who have no idea how to navigate.

And when you're dealing with a really large entity and you've never, ever navigated the legal system, which, let's face it, unless you've got an education in it, it's incredibly complicated.

It's overwhelming.

Oh, yeah.

And legalese, you can read something and say, what the heck was just said here?

You know?

Yeah, yeah.

So we hopefully make that process easy for our clients to go through so they don't have to do that part.

Right.

We'll navigate that place for them like we're just there to help them stand up for themselves.

Now, are these cases typically taken on a contingency?

I'm sure that that's a hesitation, too, for people if they don't have the money for an attorney.

Yeah.

So these cases are on a contingency fee basis.

And I do think a lot of people think, you know, hey.

That the lawyer is going to be too expensive.

So that's another part of, like, you know, educating people that it doesn't cost anything, you know, to go learn about your rights and then decide what, you know, what you want to do with it.

That's all.

It's just a choice.

I'm here to educate them on what their rights are and what they can do.

And then if they decide to proceed, you know, we do do it on a contingency basis.

And that's because the law, the same thing, are there to pay the attorneys for Doing these cases.

Right.

Again, we want people to stand up for themselves, and we want to prohibit people from engaging in this behavior.

So the statutes themselves provide for the attorney's fees, and so you don't have to worry about that part of it.

That's good.

So somebody listening is experiencing sexual harassment, sexual abuse, discrimination.

What should they do before they ever contact an attorney?

What's the process if they're experiencing it?

You know, if they.

If they've experienced sexual assault, you know, I recommend filing a police report if they can.

It's always good to have that documented with respect to conduct occurring in the.

In the workplace, you know, I always recommend reporting it if they can, you know, and again, some people don't feel comfortable doing either of those things.

And so it's.

At least write it down.

Keep some contemporaneous documentation as to what happened, either by sending yourself an email or journaling it somewhere.

But those are the steps, I would say, you know, to initially do when.

When something like this happens.

And then when you're contacting the attorney, you know, you're again, trying to learn what your rights are and what the laws are that protect you.

And like I said, they exist.

And that's why I think it's so powerful to know what those are.

Where do they find an attorney?

Obviously, you're in San Diego with your law firm, but there are people who are listening all over the country.

How do they go about the process, too?

Reach out to get some legal help.

Yeah.

So you can, you know, obviously do a search on Google, and then there's a lot of organizations.

So in nationwide, there's the National Employment Lawyers Association.

That's a great resource if you're trying to find an employment attorney in your state or your county.

And then in California, we had that same organization, the California Employment Lawyers association, for you to look at to see other individuals doing this type of work with respect to sexual assault cases that aren't in the employment context.

Same thing, Google.

But then there's like different organizations like the Aha that has resources for you to find an attorney in your specific town, city, whatever it may be.

And if somebody's in San Diego, they can reach out to you to.

Always reach me directly on my website, which is super easy.

It's allreen.com a l r e e n dot com.

Okay.

And there's also h a e dash law dot com, correct?

Yes.

That's the law firm's website.

Yep.

And they can reach out there as well.

By the way, I love your website.

It Says, when you stand up for yourself, we stand with you.

We have a 99 success rate.

Oh, my goodness.

And the picture of you guys, you look like something from Law and Order.

It's great.

Thank you.

Appreciate that.

You definitely look serious.

Like, you know, we're going to take this seriously, and we're going to march with you, and we're going to win.

You know, I love that.

Yeah.

I mean, so many people are afraid of every case.

We are, you know, the underdog.

Right.

We are always the David and the Goliath, not big Liath.

And so we're always faced with the big corporation, you know, big insurance company, big banks, big defendants, big defense firms, who always are going to have more money and resources than we are, and that's just the nature of plaintiff's practice.

And so I always want clients to know that we are not afraid of that.

That's always going to be the case.

But we always have the facts on our side and the story on our side that they can't take from us.

And so we are very fearless.

I.

You know, I always say that I. I experienced my biggest bully in my life, which was my father.

And so I think that's the reason, like, I am just not scared, because it's like, what are you going to do to me that somebody else already has it?

So I don't have that fear factor going up against large defendants.

But I do think a lot of people are worried about that.

And I always tell people that's just.

That is the nature of the game.

They will always be bigger on the.

Other side, and it's very intimidating.

You need to have an attorney like you guys at your bulldogs.

You're like, no, we could play elephant and the mouse here, but the elephant has an Achilles heel, and we're going to bite.

I love that.

So that's something that somebody who, if they're considering some sort of legal action, they need to find maybe interview different firms and see which one they're most comfortable with and the success rates.

Yeah, And I would say just also the number of cases.

You know, there are firms out there that have way too many cases.

You know, so you do want to ask what their caseload is.

We pride ourselves on keeping a small caseload.

So as a result, we don't accept all cases, because the ones we have, we want to make sure they all get the attention that they deserve.

Where do people find your book, Fired Up Fueling Triumph from Trauma?

It's available on all major retailers, you know, including Amazon.

Okay.

So they just Type in that title.

Okay.

Yeah.

For my name and it will come up.

This is excellent.

There may be somebody listening who is living in fear, carrying shame, and wondering if life can ever get better.

What would you want that person to know before we end our conversation?

Oh, I promise them that they can.

Like, they.

It feels that way right now in your head, but just the thoughts that you're having doesn't make it true.

And then so I. I tell you that you're going to get out of it.

It just think of why you're doing it and where do you want to go with it.

Yeah.

Because we can make things so large in our heads.

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah.

We start believing it, but that doesn't make it true.

I think that was one of the biggest lessons to me is like, oh, they're just thoughts.

They're not reality.

Got it.

I was a prisoner in my own mind for the longest time.

So it's breaking free of yourself.

Well, as you say, Irene, change your thoughts, change your life.

I love that.

And that's very true.

Yeah.

You know, we can be our own worst enemy.

And of course, if we've been conditioned to think that way, it's really hard to change it.

It's so hard.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, it took a long time to get to that point.

Yes.

It's going to take a long time to turn it around, but it is possible.

You just have to want it and start taking the steps to do it.

So where do people reach you again, Ilreen?

They can reach me on my website and my contact information is there, which is Allreen A L R e e n.com and I'm on.

You know, all the social handles are the same.

It's all reenacted.

A L R E E N. Bravo.

To what you're doing.

Thank you for being a warrior for people who have been mistreated and abused.

This is so needed.

Thank you.

And thank you for having me on this show.

And thank you for having this platform.

Yes, thank you, Irene.

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