Episode 30: Sisters in Sync: A Deep Dive into Sibling Dynamics

Welcome to The Mirror Project!

Welcome back to The Mirror Project! We’re your hosts, Alexandra and Christine, and we’re thrilled to have you with us today. This episode is extra special as we continue last week’s discussion on growing up with siblings—this time with a twist! Christine's two sisters, Nicole and Torre, are joining us to share their unique perspectives, hilarious stories, and the life lessons they've learned along the way. Whether you're navigating life as an only child or have siblings of your own, this episode is packed with insights, laughter, and a whole lot of love. So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let’s get started!

Stay Connected

Before we jump in, take a moment to like, subscribe, or follow us on your favorite podcast platform. We’ll be right here when you’re ready!

Guest Introductions

Nicole: Christine introduces her sister Nicole, the family’s finance and accounting guru. With five years of experience in public accounting, Nicole brings both humor and wisdom to the table, making her the perfect addition to today’s sibling-centric conversation.

Victoria (Torre): Next, meet Torre, Christine's youngest sister, a powerhouse athlete and avid adventurer. From gymnastics to rock climbing, Torre’s zest for life is infectious, and her love for books and classic rock adds a delightful twist to her vibrant personality.

Sibling Dynamics and Roles

In this section, the sisters explore how birth order shaped their roles within the family and influenced their personalities. They discuss the stereotypical roles of the "test dummy," the "middle child," and the "baby" of the family, sharing personal stories that highlight the humor and truth behind these labels. Through their recollections, listeners will gain insight into how these roles created a unique family dynamic filled with laughter, love, and, of course, a few sibling squabbles.

Shared and Individual Experiences

Here, the sisters delve into their favorite family traditions and activities, revealing how the same event can be remembered differently by each sibling. They reflect on the joy and challenges of shared experiences while also highlighting those moments unique to each sister. Whether it’s a funny anecdote or a touching memory, this segment emphasizes the importance of both shared and individual experiences in shaping sibling relationships.

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Lessons Learned and Looking Back

In this heartfelt segment, the sisters share the most important lessons they’ve learned from one another and how their relationships have evolved over time. They discuss how their sibling bonds have impacted their adult lives, offering advice to listeners on maintaining strong, healthy relationships with their own siblings. This part of the conversation is filled with both wisdom and warmth, making it a poignant reflection on the enduring power of family ties.

Closing Thoughts

And that’s a wrap! We hope you enjoyed this deep dive into sibling dynamics with Christine and her sisters. It’s been a joy sharing these stories with you, and we can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Whether you’re reflecting on your own sibling relationships or learning something new, we’re so glad you joined us today. Don’t forget, we’ll be taking a short break but will be back on October 3rd with a month full of spooky and thrilling topics just in time for Halloween! Until then, keep the sibling love (and occasional bickering) alive, and we’ll see you soon.

Support Our Journey

Loving our discussions? Consider supporting us on Buy Us a Coffee! Your support helps us continue creating the content we love. And before you go, don’t forget to like, subscribe, or follow us on your preferred platform. Catch you next time!

Join Us Next Time 

As we close, don't forget to hit that like, subscribe, or follow button on your preferred platform. Keep the conversation going, and we'll catch you on the next episode!

Hello, and welcome back lovely listeners to the mirror project.

2

We are your hosts, Alexandra,

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Christine: Christine.

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Alexandra: and we are so

glad you're here today.

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We are continuing last week's

conversation and our deep dive into

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the world of growing up with siblings.

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This time.

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We have a special treat for you.

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We are joined by Christine's two sisters.

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Get ready for an episode filled

with laughter and heartfelt stories.

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From childhood escapades to the lessons

learned along the way, we'll explore

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how each sister's unique perspective and

personality shaped their experiences.

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Whether you're an only child

curious about sibling dynamics,

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or a veteran of sibling rivalry.

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There's something here for everyone.

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So sit back, relax, and let's

embark on this delightful journey

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with Christine and her sisters.

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It's going to be an episode full of love,

laughter, and maybe a few surprises.

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Let's jump in.

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Christine: Before we delve into

today's riveting topic, make sure to

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hit that subscribe, or follow button

on your Preferred listening platform.

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Take a moment to do it now

before it slips your mind.

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Trust us, we're not getting

started without you.

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Let's make this journey together.

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All right.

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So as Alexandra so beautifully said

in the intro today, we have two very

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special guests, both who have been

on the podcast before my sisters,

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Nicole and Victoria are with us again.

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And I, for one, I'm very excited

for this conversation today.

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I'm sure it'll be a lively one and yeah.

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Thank you guys so much for coming back on.

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I really appreciate you taking the time.

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Torre: Thank you for having me.

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Glad to be here.

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Nicole: Yeah, happy to be here.

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Thank you for having us.

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Christine: Totally.

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Yeah.

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Alexandra: Always are so

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happy.

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Christine: We're so happy, Alexandra.

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For those listening, Alexandra, this week

is going to be acting as our moderator.

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So thank you so much for helping

guide this conversation, Alex.

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But you guys ready to get started?

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Torre: Yes.

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Alexandra: All right.

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How about we first jump into your

sibling dynamics and the roles

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you had growing up and even today.

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So how would you guys say birth order

has affected your relationships with

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each other and your dynamics within

your family, taking into account that

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often the eldest child can be seen

as like the test dummy for parents.

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The middle child has its own stereotypes.

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And then of course,

the baby of the family.

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Christine: Who wants to jump in first?

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Alexandra: like, yeah, don't make me call

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on you guys.

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Christine: last week I really sort of

kicked off this conversation when it

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was just her and I, but why don't you

guys, I don't know, do you want to start?

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Nicole: Do you feel like

an oldest child stereotype?

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Christine: you guys agree?

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Nicole: Well,

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Torre: I would agree.

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Nicole: have middle child

syndrome for sure, but

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Torre: Definitely have felt the

baby stereotypes of the family a

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few times throughout my childhood.

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And when I was younger,

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Alexandra: has it been a benefit

to you or more an irritation?

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Torre: I think at different points

and like phases of my life, it

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was a benefit and an irritation.

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Moments where the older siblings

and parents want to give wisdom to

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the youngest member of the family.

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But of course I would say,

I want to be independent.

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I want to be like them.

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Don't tell me what to do.

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Um, but obviously now looking

back, I lean heavily on my sisters.

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What do I do?

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Prime example was last night, like

calling Nicole to get help with something.

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And.

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As you grow, you kind of

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get a better understanding

of that dynamic.

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So it's been more beneficial.

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But of course, when I was a young

teenager and like a tween, I was a brat.

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Alexandra: think as most

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Torre: those moments.

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We were all that age one point or

another, but my situation was a

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little bit different too, because.

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I, our age gap between myself

and my siblings is a lot

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bigger than their age gap.

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It wasn't just, Oh, you're

the youngest of three.

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It's you are four and six

years younger than them.

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They're out into college when I

was just starting high school.

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So I kind of navigated that on my own.

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And then obviously throughout my adult

life now, it's a little bit different

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because we're all in our twenties and

it's, the lines are a bit blurred.

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But.

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When I was kind of going through that,

I wasn't so much like younger child.

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I felt more of an only child

until Christine came back.

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Christine: Yeah, until I finished

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Torre: There was like two, there

was like a two year period though,

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where it was just me and the parents.

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And that was a very

interesting experience.

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Alexandra: Okay, so that's

before I hop over to Nicole.

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You talked about Tori about being kind

of switched over to an only child.

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Can you tell us a little bit about

that difference for you from being

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the baby now to the only child?

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What parts of that did

you like and which parts

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going

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Torre: to get close with my

parents and connect with them and

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had that opportunity to do so.

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I, it wasn't so much like a

completely different thing at times.

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I was just like, Oh my gosh,

leave me alone type of deal.

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Because they were like, Christine

and Nicole aren't around.

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So we gotta do what Tori is doing

and kind of guiding me through that.

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I did really like the, that moment

to kind of grow closer to both

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my parents, but I definitely

missed having my sisters around.

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It was a moment where I realized

the moments that I did take

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for granted when they weren't.

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Like next door where I could go

over and talk to them or ignore them

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or ask them to hang out with me.

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And definitely made me grow a lot closer,

I feel like to them, because when they

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would come home, I would only see them

for a couple of days or weeks at a

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time because they were both at school.

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So I'd be really excited for that.

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And yeah, I always.

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I personally strongly believe

in the saying distance

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makes the heart grow fonder.

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You really value that.

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So that time period kind of,

helped me value that and in

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turn grow closer to them.

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And I think that, that has kind of carried

on to like now living in different states

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and stuff and being close to my siblings.

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That was a ramble.

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Christine: No, it's great.

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Alexandra: pick on Nicole and say,

all right, tell us a little bit about

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that middle child syndrome and kind of

being the youngest for a little bit.

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And then an older sibling

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Nicole: well,

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you definitely get it kind of both.

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I guess that's what the middle child is.

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You have older I guess I definitely have

that like middle child like Tendency of

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like sometimes like the oldest kids I know

a lot of attention will be focused on them

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because like they're going Through things

for the first time and then obviously the

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youngest is the baby And then you're just

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Not to say that like I've ever been

forgotten, but like it's, I think

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definitely I have experienced having

a lot less attention, but then

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also plenty of attention at times.

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Christine: Yeah.

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Nicole: and but I think it's I,

part of that, I'm very independent.

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Obviously the parents of my sister isn't.

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Yeah.

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You know, I'll always need them

and need their help sometimes.

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But it's I have a tendency to kind

of just like go out and just do it

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by myself.

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And then I think in terms of

like, when Christine went to

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college and I was the oldest,

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that was a while ago,

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Christine: Thanks, Nicole.

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Nicole: I guess I like didn't, sorry.

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Well I was in high school.

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Christine: No.

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Nicole: it wasn't that bad.

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Cause honestly it was kind of nice.

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Cause when I was at Mount or high

school like there was one time they

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were like, what we're seeing where else

his little sister plays in the office.

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And I was like, Oh my God.

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And I think part of having that like

younger dynamics sometimes and we were

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so close in age, it was a little bit of

a shadow follow and like happy I ended

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up where I went, but it was like a lot

of okay your older sister goes here.

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You're going to go here too.

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We're not trying to drive to

different locations every morning.

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So I think just like little things

like that definitely is like, okay

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I don't care what you want to do.

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This is what you're doing.

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Again,

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Alexandra: you kind of get stuck here.

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Usually.

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All right.

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Nicole: And then when Christine went

to college, it was kind of nice.

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Cause it was like, Oh,

like then I was like

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Christine: Finally, she's gone.

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Nicole: No, like not

to say to say it was a

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bad thing, but it's You know, I

was, I didn't really necessarily

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feel like I was the oldest child.

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It's more so it's I don't know, I'm

the only one that's like here in that

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instance, and I think in school is

really the first main place I felt it.

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Uh, because Christine went to school like

25 30 minutes away, so it wasn't like,

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I think she would come home sometimes.

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So, I feel like I didn't really get

it as much as Tori did, because Tori's

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exactly like four grades below me, so

it's like I was freshman in college,

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she was freshman in high school.

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So she definitely had a

little bit more of that

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Child time, I guess And then I

guess i've never been like the

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youngest Oh, wait, before victoria

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Christine: You were for four years.

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I know.

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But who really remembers that, right?

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I mean, I was technically an

only child for two and a half.

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Nicole: I do remember there was like

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thinking as like a small kid and I don't

know why this stuck with me for so many

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years, but I was like I noticed a change

in like our parents and I just kind of

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went I was like four years old I was like

mom and dad have so much more mean lately

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and I think it's just because like I

wasn't like the youngest like baby anymore

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and also they had an infant and they

probably weren't like really something

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Christine: Yeah.

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Nicole: that but you know

felt that switch for sure but

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Torre: You've told me that a few times

and I've always felt so terrible.

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Christine: But it's not your

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Torre: It's like, awesome.

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Christine: you, Tor.

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It was, I

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Torre: Just like

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presents.

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Nicole: Exactly.

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I like maybe the hallway of the

hospital when you were born, but I

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don't know because Tori and I are a

little less than four years apart.

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So I was like

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Torre: we're like three and 18.

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Nicole: When she was

born and I don't know.

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We'd have to ask like

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Christine: remember when Tori was born.

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I was six

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Nicole: our parents probably to see.

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I think Christine was

very excited about it.

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I don't think I was nearly as excited.

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I

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don't

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Christine: I was in kindergarten.

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I actually remember we went to

a very small Catholic school.

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I've talked about it.

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If you've talked about school a few

times, you've heard me say, but It was

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a thing like the morning announcements,

Pledge of Allegiance We say a prayer

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and they usually announce birthdays and

then for whatever reason, I think they

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announce, I remember them announcing

Tori being born over the loudspeaker.

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and, And uh, Christine Browski,

little Sister Victoria was born.

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And I remember choosing to go see my

new little baby sister over going to

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a birthday party that caused some.

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Issues for my mom and the mother of

the girl who had her birthday party.

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I do also have some memories of when

Coley was born, believe it or not, even

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though I think I remember being at the

hospital, but Yeah, I definitely remember

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more of when Tori joined the fam.

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So yeah, I mean I mentioned I

definitely feel like I'm the oldest.

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I have the,

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I don't know if it's, Something, it's

something I have a love hate relationship

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with the fact that I get to go through

everything first because but there,

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there were a couple of instances where

Nicole did beat me to some things, but

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you know, I think, I heard something

once where it was like an interview

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somebody was having, they were talking

about siblings, and they said that no

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sibling is raised in the same house.

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And Because of where they

are in the birth order.

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So like their experience they

have, or think it actually was no.

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Sibling experience is the same

parents because of how each parent

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has a relationship with each kid.

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I just thought that was so interesting.

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And reflecting on that, I think it

really does inform a lot about how

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you grow up depending on where you

fall in the age order of things.

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So

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Alexandra: And I would gather that it

would also impact how each of you in

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turn, if and when you have children

would raise your children based on your

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memories of how your parents raised you

and your individual experiences with that.

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Christine: certainly.

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Alexandra: All right.

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So to kind of jump to a slightly

later subject, how about each of

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you describe the other siblings and

what their personality is and then

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we'll see if that person agrees.

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Christine: Ooh, that's fun.

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Should we do three describe the person in

three words or what are we feeling guys?

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Alexandra: Yeah, let's do that.

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Okay.

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All right, Tori, you want to

start with Christine or Nicole?

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Torre: Sure.

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Now I have

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Christine: It doesn't have to be three.

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It just was a starting point.

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Whatever you want to say.

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I don't know.

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What's easier.

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Torre: I would describe Christine as

like a very homebody, gentle person that

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would be Nancy Myers in another life.

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Just like,

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Christine: I love Nancy Meyers.

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She makes great movies.

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Torre: yeah, it's just it's very

sweet, wholesome, like compassion.

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Not to say that Nicole's not that either.

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But when I think of Nicole, I think

of someone that's very independent.

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Like strong minded, like sets herself a

goal and won't stop until she achieves it.

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And you both are very similar where you're

both very driven and you have the same

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tendencies, but whereas Nicole is, willing

to jump from the nest and go straight

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abroad for her first semester of college.

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Christine definitely values staying

closer to home and being closer to

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the parents and the family and stuff.

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And I think being your

sister, I can kind of get out.

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Like I go to Christine when I want

to feel like safe and warm and cozy

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and talk about books and, you know,

Like just a warm fuzzy blanket.

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And then the cold where I want

to go and experience new things.

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And like kind of like more I don't

know, like not like thrill seeking,

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but just like a spawn spontane, I don't

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know the word.

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One of you two just said

it that type of vibe.

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As well as because Nicole and

I had similar majors because

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we were both in business.

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So I also kind of went to her to get her

guidance and experience on that as well.

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With teen, I would definitely go to you.

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This is like such a ramble.

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Sorry.

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Go to you for like advice

on different things and

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Christine: Sure.

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Thanks for

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Torre: cozy, cozy marshmallow.

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I just thought of something really funny.

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This is a really good thing when I say

this, but Nicole's like a bald eagle.

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Just like flies and does her own thing.

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Just to the beat of her own drum.

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Christine: all right,

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Alexandra: All right.

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Christine: that's cool.

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Torre: Sorry, I should stop talking.

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Alexandra: All right, so

Nicole, do you want to jump in

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and share your descriptions of

your sister's personalities?

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Nicole: Yeah, I definitely would

kind of agree with Tori a little bit.

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I think Christine is a lot

more nurturing and loving.

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Sometimes a little too

nice to other people.

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And she's definitely you are a homebody

Not like you're never leaving mom and

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dad's house, you know what I mean?

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Like you're, you just to be around

like your family and what's I

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think family is super big for you.

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I think it's really big for all of

us and being close to that is huge.

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And then Tori, again, a little bit more

like we both went away for school and

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then Tori just came back from the salon.

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Christine: never came back from Boston.

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Nicole: I guess that too.

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I've come back a good amount, though.

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So I

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definitely think Tori is a little

bit more willing to kind of just

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go and experience new things.

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But she definitely always still needs us.

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Love you.

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Always be there for your cause.

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Oh, this I also would say, I think Tori

is very She's definitely got like a fun

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energy and she's not afraid to stick

up for herself or like ever like she's

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very like strong willed I guess and is

won't tolerate things that aren't cool

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or make her unhappy whereas Christina

I think is just like almost a little

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too nice about it so there's that too

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Christine: I can be overly accommodating.

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Alexandra: You guys definitely

run the spectrum and it's a

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nice compliment to each other.

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Torre: I

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Alexandra: Christine, did you

Did you have anything you wanted

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to add about your sisters?

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I think you briefly talked about

them last week, but anything else

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Christine: yeah, I mean the

way that Nicole described Tory

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and Tory described Nicole.

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I concur.

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I agree also with their assessment of me.

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I think also just to speak very

briefly about their comments

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of how like they went up.

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They went away for

school and I stayed home.

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I did initially think I was like leaving

New Jersey and I don't quite exactly

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know why it ended up the way it did.

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I think like I did a change in what

I wanted to study, and The school

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that ended up being the fit for

me happened to be close to home.

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And then ultimately, like once that

happened, I feel like it was the

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right choice and for my personality,

sticking close to home benefited me.

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Benefited me.

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In the long run and I look to the both

of them and I'm so in awe and proud of

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the fact that they did take that leap

and Nicole went to London at 18 her 1st

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semester and Tori left to go to South

Carolina at 18 for her 1st semester.

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So.

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It was, it's definitely been like a

true privilege to watch each of them

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grow into these beautiful, independent

women, very similar, but also very

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distinctly different, I think.

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Tori is like a nice blend of Nicole

and I, I think Tori has a lot of

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similarities of interests that I have,

but also she finds that Nicole's a

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great person to go out and Nicole in

general is a great person to go with, to

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experience adventure and try new things.

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And she's always been a great

cheerleader and sort of,

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Spurring you on to keep going for

the goals you've set for yourself.

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So yeah I mean, I'm just so so lucky to

have the both of them and honestly Like

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it's really cool to be able to call you

guys my sisters And I think being your

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older sister is definitely one of the best

One of my proudest moments of life, so

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I'll stop being sad,

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you know

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Nicole: Archie,

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Christine: RT yes So

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Alexandra: To lighten up the mood a little

bit, Christine shared a very interesting

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story about a shoplifting experience

when she was very young that you guys

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lovely, nicely tattled on her for.

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Do you guys have any

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Nicole: seashell?

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Christine: it's a seashell

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Nicole: Did I rat on

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Christine: you did immediately We I should

I told you about it in the bathroom.

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I told the both of you I think

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Nicole: Yeah, you were

like, look at this seashell.

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And I was like, but we were

so young that I just didn't

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understand why you had a seashell.

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Christine: I know I don't even remember

how old I was so I can't in my brain place

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your ages But we were down visiting, to

give a little context, you were there.

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We were down visiting

mom's parents in Florida.

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Tori must have been like three, maybe?

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So then that would have made

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Torre: I have no memory.

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Christine: That would have made,

what, you, six or seven, Nicole,

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and me, I wasn't yet ten years old.

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I feel like I was still pretty young.

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Who knows?

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But, yes, I told this story

about me shoplifting a seashell,

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and all of that.

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But, from, I think Nicole's the only

one who can sort of tell the story.

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Share some recollection on

that story in particular.

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But as she said, she was like, I didn't

even know why you had a seashell.

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Nicole: yeah, I mean,

I'm sorry for ratting.

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I don't do that anymore.

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I don't think I realized

that I was ratting on

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Christine: No, I don't

think you did either.

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Nicole: Yeah,

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Christine: You're just

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silly

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Nicole: at this hey, look at the seashell.

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I'm like, what the fuck,

is that a seashell?

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Alexandra: Do either of you have any fun

memories or funny stories of your sibling

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interactions that you'd like to share?

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Nicole: Oh I mean, yeah,

there's definitely so many.

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I feel like there's so

many really, I don't know.

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Torre: I think you two being older, the

older siblings, definitely have more

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than me because I think it was more so

just Tori being psychotic ADHD Tori,

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and you guys were just like, oh my god.

427

But I don't remember anything.

428

I have a really bad memory.

429

I don't really remember

anything before high school.

430

Like I remember stuff, but like I don't

remember Day to day things like you guys

431

do and when you tell me stuff, I'm like,

432

oh, that's what I was

433

like

434

Nicole: remember what

it was like growing up?

435

What?

436

Torre: Yeah, but I don't remember

like specific moments like you tell me

437

Nicole: Really?

438

You have

439

like, none?

440

Torre: No, like not none

441

Christine: But like what you mean

is like when we tell, when we recall

442

something, you're sort of like, okay,

like it wasn't, that's not something

443

that necessarily stuck with you.

444

Is that what you mean?

445

Torre: Yeah, mostly because

I was just existing and

446

apparently it was entertaining.

447

Nicole: Well, I would just

hang out there was two

448

Christine: You would hang out a lot.

449

I mean, I feel

450

Nicole: Well yeah, mom

would always have to like.

451

go get you from your room.

452

You would just sit in there,

just like bowling in your crib

453

until someone came and gotcha.

454

In

455

Torre: I really like Yeah

456

Nicole: And I guess you still do that.

457

Christine: the power to you.

458

I, that was something I mentioned last

week was like both you Tori and Nicole,

459

I feel like found saying not that I

didn't find my room as a sanctuary,

460

but I feel like I wasn't, that wasn't

necessarily where I was going to hang out.

461

I was either down in the living

room or down in the family

462

room watching TV or something.

463

So yeah, I think something

did pop into my head.

464

Oh, the one thing that popped into my

head that I think involved all of us

465

the basement was our like playroom.

466

So that's where all of the toys were,

but it also was like a makeshift gym

467

that Mom and dad never used, but it

had all of this janky gym equipment.

468

And there was this old

bench, workout bench.

469

And because we were kids like playing

make believe we would use that equipment

470

as part of whatever we were playing.

471

And there was a situation where

I was laying underneath the bench

472

and Nicole was laying on top of it.

473

Do you remember this?

474

And because it was unstable it like fell

and a piece of the bench, the bolts, the

475

head of a bolt on my forehead and I just

I was, I thought I cracked my skull.

476

I thought I was deformed for life

because I just had an imprint.

477

It's really funny.

478

Anyway, that's just, I don't know

if you all remember that or not, but

479

that's, that popped into my head.

480

Nicole: remember it probably not as much

as you, because in my perspective it was

481

like fuck, now we can't play anymore.

482

And you're like, my head has

483

Alexandra: Heh.

484

Nicole: dent in my skull.

485

Christine: Yeah.

486

Nicole: And mom and dad were, they

got really upset, but out of love,

487

because they were just like, oh,

488

no.

489

Christine: unsupervised and they played

490

on unsafe equipment.

491

Yeah, we're all just

trying to do our best here.

492

But I also remember Tori being the very

creative, imaginative person she was.

493

She always had her different toys that

she would totally like, make these.

494

I remember being like, honestly, really,

495

Blown away with how imaginative you were

are, I should say, but even as a kid,

496

like with your, my little pony or your

Polly pocket or like the American girl

497

doll, you just like, wherever you were

just created this whole world around you.

498

And I was like, wow, that's really cool.

499

And at a certain point in my head, I

was like now I'm older and that's for

500

children, but like looking back on,

on it, I'm like why did I let that go?

501

That's so cool.

502

So I encourage people to like,

don't lose your inner child.

503

It's really important.

504

Torre: Now I just read books.

505

I get the

506

same effect.

507

Christine: You and I both

there, but my friend.

508

Alexandra: craving more of our company.

509

Join the fun over on YouTube at near

project pod, dive deeper into our world,

510

engage with us on a whole new level.

511

Don't miss out on the excitement

So talking about shared and unique

512

experiences, what are each of you,

if you want to share your favorite

513

family traditions, and then if you feel

comfortable or have a memory that you

514

do want to share, what was something

that you experienced that you absolutely

515

loved that you experienced it entirely

on your own, separate from your siblings?

516

Nicole: Wait, I'm confused.

517

Alexandra: Okay.

518

So let me start off first.

519

Is there a family tradition That

you, each of you love from when you

520

were growing up or even present day.

521

What's your favorite thing to do

522

Nicole: Um.

523

I feel like what tradition I feel like

Christmas was, is you know, number one

524

go to, especially cause it's that is, I

think, especially as we get older or one

525

of the more constants, whereas like other

times of the year, like it's just changed

526

because like we get older, don't really

do the whole Easter bunny thing, but

527

you know, so it's, I think at Christmas

time has changed a bit, but I think.

528

We would either, we would always do

Christmas Eve at either our house

529

or our aunt's house and then go to

our grandparents for Christmas Day.

530

Christine: Yeah.

531

Chris is

532

growing up with our

533

Nicole: like such like a big like

warming holiday and not to say that it's

534

not now, but it's it's just different.

535

Like our

536

Christine: grandparents.

537

Nicole: families are older, our extended

family has other things going on.

538

So it's definitely different.

539

Christine: There's also

the nostalgia of it, right?

540

Like

541

you look back on that fondly.

542

Yeah, totally.

543

Torre: I definitely think

yes, Christmas is a big one.

544

Specifics with that.

545

We would always do the

night before Christmas.

546

We used to read it with our grandfather.

547

Since his passing, we've

continued to do that.

548

And also I think that's just something

special to hold on to and continue that.

549

And I hope we continue to do

550

that for foreseeable future.

551

But another piece that I've noticed.

552

At least within the past four years,

as we've gotten older, and as our

553

parents gotten older, instead of

them putting the presents underneath

554

the tree while we're all asleep,

the three of us kind of do that

555

now and then sit and chat, like at least

the past couple of Christmas we have

556

done this, where we'd Just hang out for

a little bit before we're going to bed.

557

There's the three of us.

558

And I just remember many times

just like laughing and having like

559

great conversation, being silly.

560

with also the anticipation

of Christmas the next day.

561

And I hope that we kind of continue

to that little tradition and

562

moment in the future as well.

563

So new ones,

564

Alexandra: Okay.

565

My second question was, is there a

memory or an experience that each

566

of you had that you love so much?

567

Because It was only you experiencing it.

568

Neither of your sisters were there.

569

And do you want to share them?

570

I guess that's the other part of that

571

Nicole: Like the experience

we just had with the Garpains.

572

Christine: Sure.

573

Alexandra: with your

574

parents on your own, whatever

575

Christine: It's a good one.

576

Yeah,

577

Nicole: guys.

578

Alexandra: That you're like, this

is all my, this is my experience.

579

No one else gets to share in it.

580

Nicole: I feel like I've never Um, I'm

trying to think if I've ever I felt

581

you know, if I have had an experience

that like no one else is sharing in,

582

if it's like something that I would not

want someone to share, like my sisters

583

to share in, if that makes sense.

584

So I guess I've like never really thought

about oh, like this is like my moment.

585

Torre: Yeah, I definitely think I've

every good experience that I've had, I've

586

wanted to share that with my siblings,

587

or Tell them about it at least.

588

I guess it's a good thing.

589

Christine: I would say so.

590

I think to reflect if I'm reflecting

on both of you, like, when Nicole

591

went to London, that was an experience

that she was having all on her own.

592

took a really big step

going across an ocean.

593

And just, I remember being very excited

for her, but also the beautiful thing

594

was like, yes, she was doing that

on her own, but I got to, Be a part

595

of it in a different way, like with

what she told us, and we also went

596

there for Thanksgiving that year.

597

And we had Thanksgiving over there with

her and she introduced us to our friends

598

and she showed us around a whole new city.

599

So, in that way, I think

it's kind of beautiful.

600

If we do experience things

separately, we're able to then show.

601

Each other that or tell each

other and it's like another way

602

of experiencing it together still.

603

Torre: Yeah.

604

Christine: so

605

Alexandra: Yeah.

606

I may not have explained

that question very well.

607

It was like, like Nicole going off

to London, that was something you did

608

on your own and your sisters weren't

like physically there with you, but

609

you shared it with them afterwards.

610

Is there experiences like that?

611

You're like, I'm glad I

took this step on my own.

612

But that I can, you know,

enjoy and my sisters about.

613

Nicole: I think like in every instance,

I am kind of grateful for being a

614

middle child because it really did

force me into like kind of developing

615

my own independence and kind of

taking those like jumps by myself.

616

And so I think in general, I am grateful

for okay I'm glad I'm so happy I had the

617

opportunity to like, be able to go and

go somewhere else, like outside of New

618

Jersey for college kind of really find

myself or start to grow into myself.

619

Yeah.

620

And I think yeah, like going to

college, like I'm with anything.

621

It's oh, I'm glad that I think maybe

not always glad that I'm doing it

622

on my own, but I think it's good

that I'm doing things on my own.

623

You know what I mean?

624

I don't know.

625

I guess I've never really thought about it

626

Christine: I guess I

haven't really either.

627

It's that's why I was like, wow,

that's a, that's an interesting

628

question just because it's such it's a

perspective I wouldn't necessarily have.

629

But before we move on really quick,

I do wanna mention some traditions

630

or activities that I think about

'cause they both shared theirs.

631

Christmas is definitely a big

one as they both mentioned.

632

Another fun tradition that we've done

since we were kids is reindeer dust.

633

I don't know, Alex, if you're

familiar with reindeer dust, but

634

it's a a fun tradition that I

635

Alexandra: I don't

636

Christine: we probably, I think it was

maybe at my priest, like the preschool,

637

Nicole and I both went to basically

reindeer dust is a way for Santa to

638

be able to find your house and it's a

mixture of, at least in our house, is

639

a mixture of Oats for the reindeer,

and glitter so that Santa can see

640

the glitter reflecting off the moon,

moonlight so he can find your home.

641

So we would make reindeer

dust every Christmas Eve but

642

a non Christmas related one.

643

I've always loved In the summer months, in

the fall, when it's still warm enough for

644

us to be outside, I've always loved doing

like the fire pit outside and smoking or

645

roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.

646

That's always that's

something we still do.

647

And I look back on the memories

when we were kids and just,

648

we always had the best time.

649

We laughed a lot.

650

We told silly stories.

651

We talked about different

things happening in our lives.

652

We shared that with friends.

653

We shared that with family

and I just always love it.

654

So,

655

Alexandra: cool.

656

I have not heard of

reindeer, not reindeer.

657

I've not heard of reindeer dust,

but I have heard of reindeer crunch,

658

Christine: Oh, I don't know what that is.

659

Alexandra: So I think it's like a

mixture that you would put out for the

660

reindeers On.

661

And it wasn't like carrots.

662

I think it was like check mix

or something and like sweets

663

and marshmallows all melted in.

664

Um,

665

Christine: That sounds tasty.

666

Like a tasty treat.

667

Alexandra: a tradition for your

guys's next Christmas for the humans

668

though, this time, not the reindeer.

669

All right.

670

So kind of moving on to the next part

about lessons that you've learned

671

from each other, because I know Tori

mentioned earlier that sometimes older

672

sisters are full of advice that you

sometimes don't want to hear it because

673

you want to do things on your own.

674

What.

675

It is the most important lesson

that your sisters have taught you,

676

everyone, whoever wants to jump in.

677

Christine: I can start us off.

678

Cause I, I mentioned a couple

of things in the last episode.

679

The first thing I think

is conflict resolution.

680

We, as kids would get at each other, but

I feel like You know, I have built in

681

practice dummies for a lot of things and

conflict resolution is one that, you know,

682

sticks with you through your whole life.

683

So I feel like that was a really

important lesson I learned.

684

I also think I took

that on more seriously.

685

I don't know as being the oldest, because.

686

In my head, I thought, Oh, I'm the oldest.

687

Maybe I should, I don't know.

688

Help resolve any issues

that may have arisen.

689

But I don't know.

690

What do you guys think?

691

Torre: Considering I don't know how to do

life and you guys did it before me or are

692

just slightly more advanced in living.

693

I kind of went to both of you for

everything and advice with everything

694

from like, how do I get a job?

695

To like, how do I make something or like

a recipe or how to deal when you're, what

696

do you do when your flight gets canceled?

697

I would probably say, I don't know.

698

Cool.

699

If you want to go, I'm trying

to think of the biggest piece of

700

advice that it would be for me.

701

This is just so much

702

Nicole: mean I've definitely learned

a lot from both of you for sure.

703

And sometimes it's not not always

just like necessarily advice.

704

Sometimes it's oh fuck, don't do that.

705

You'll get in trouble.

706

Christine: Oh

707

Torre: abort mission.

708

Nicole: yeah.

709

oh, one time Tori said to me when

I was just like super down, she

710

was like, girl, you are a queen.

711

Do not let your crown fall.

712

And I really wrote it down.

713

I was like, wow,

714

Christine: Preached her

715

Nicole: wise old Toad.

716

Christine: wise.

717

Indeed.

718

I will

719

say.

720

Nicole: think

721

Torre: I'll hype you up.

722

Nicole: you got some

723

Beyond your years.

724

Christine: 100 percent

725

Nicole: With certainty.

726

Christine: Yeah, but I would say Tori's

always had a wisdom about her even when

727

she was little like I remember When

grandpa passed away mom's dad and you

728

asked to have grandpa's glasses because

you wanted to see life through his eyes

729

I was like Tori like I 10 years old yet

But like holy shit, what a profound thing

730

for a young but I think honestly You That

just goes to show don't discount children

731

because they're honestly some of the

most like The wisdom they possess is real

732

because they're not clouded by everything

else that the world puts on you.

733

Yeah, exactly.

734

Society.

735

I think one other thing, one other

lesson I learned being your sister is

736

how to be a listen, like a good listener.

737

Like sometimes they're not looking

for me to solve their problem.

738

They're just looking for me to listen

and support them and encourage them.

739

So.

740

That's one of the biggest lessons I've

taken away from being a sibling is

741

like sometimes just shut up and listen

742

and be there for them.

743

Alexandra: Is there any piece of advice

that any sibling gave to any other

744

sibling that you would like One didn't

want to hear or didn't think was useful.

745

And then conversely, any advice that

you wish one of your sisters had told

746

you before you experienced something,

747

Torre: Oh, they told me shit all

the time that I didn't want to hear.

748

Alexandra: any specific piece

of, you know, any specific shit

749

that you didn't want to hear.

750

All

751

Torre: Probably don't do something.

752

I don't know, like specifics

because even if it's something that

753

like, I didn't want to hear them.

754

Probably got over it because

I probably needed to hear it.

755

Christine: Yeah

756

I will.

757

I will say, sorry to jump into her, but

I don't know if I've ever been given

758

like if you've ever shared something

with me, the both of you, like in the

759

moment, I probably felt like I didn't

want to hear it, but I, Wouldn't say

760

there you've never said anything like

I didn't think was valuable like in the

761

moment I probably didn't want I didn't

want to accept it but looking back on it.

762

I was like, yeah, they were right

763

Torre: Yeah.

764

Christine: you know these are the two

people who have known me the longest and

765

Know me probably better than anybody.

766

And I, them, so like whatever they do,

what the reason for why they're saying

767

something, there's a reason for it.

768

I might not want to see

it or accept it, but yeah.

769

So

770

I think maybe specifically, like I

remember Nicole said something to me.

771

This was back during COVID,

like after COVID was ending out,

772

it was just me here at home.

773

And she was one of the first people to

really be a proponent of me taking that

774

step of moving out and living on my own.

775

She's Christine, it's time.

776

You know, you were there for

our parents through COVID.

777

You were there for Tori when she was

going through senior year of high school.

778

Like it's time to take care of you.

779

And cause moving out had been

something I've always wanted to do.

780

But it was very daunting.

781

It was very overwhelming, but Nicole

was like the first person to say

782

you're ready, Christine, go for it.

783

So.

784

Nicole: Yeah,

785

absolutely.

786

I definitely think that, I mean, there's

definitely been things that I've been

787

told that I'm like, I think especially

growing up so close in age to Christine,

788

sometimes I did kind of just feel oh

I'm like just her little sister and I

789

think I was a little bit more resistant

to any sort of like when she would

790

try to give me like advice especially

when we were like younger and like

791

middle school high school because I

was like like I am my own person blah

792

Um,

793

Christine: I also feel though,

like high school was sort of the

794

start where things shifted for us.

795

Do you agree?

796

Nicole: Yeah.

797

Christine: I, I remember like when we were

little, we would go at it just because

798

I think we were so close in age and

799

we're both stubborn.

800

But when we were in high school, I feel

like that was the first time where.

801

I just remember really enjoying,

cause my senior year, I drove us to

802

school every morning and that was like

our time, you and me, and we related

803

to each other on a whole different.

804

level than I think we

had up until that point.

805

And then Tori, like the shift for

me and in my mind came when I came

806

back home after college and you were

a senior in high school and like

807

getting ready to go off to college.

808

And it was just a cool time because

it was just you and I at home.

809

And, Being there to support you through

applying for college and like when you

810

got your acceptance letters And it just

was like a really special time for just us

811

So it was really kind of cool to be able

to have that year Me and Nicole my senior

812

year and me and you your senior year

813

kind Cool.

814

Torre: Yeah.

815

A hundred percent.

816

Christine: Would you say our

Relationships have stayed the

817

same or changed over the years.

818

I feel like I kind of

answered that question

819

Nicole: Yeah, I feel like I was such an

asshole in this scene when I was younger.

820

I mean like we would

like fucking go at it.

821

And like now I think we all kind of,

we'll have like our disagreements, or like

822

we'll piss each other off, but we're like,

823

Christine: We have a tight bond

though, like we have a bond of we have

824

a, like an unspoken pact, like it's

the three of us against the world.

825

I feel like what's shared

with us stays with us.

826

And I feel like when we were younger,

Cole, I think we just weren't

827

able to relate to each other yet.

828

Like we were so, I think we just

sort of were missing where the

829

other person was coming from mostly

because we were so young, maybe?

830

I don't know.

831

Yeah.

832

Nicole: You know?

833

Alexandra: to listeners who have

siblings to maintain strong bonds and

834

relationships with them as people grow

older and potentially spread across

835

the country or stay in the same place?

836

How do you deal with the

change in everyone's lives?

837

Torre: Celebrate their wins like it's

your own, not like it's your own, take

838

the spotlight away from them, but be

like just so excited and animated when

839

like you see them doing like their thing

and like killing it out live because I

840

feel like when you're young, You're like

almost in competition with your siblings.

841

You're like, I want that toy.

842

I want to be the best.

843

I want to get the best grades or

whatever, like simple face out a lot.

844

Compare yourself.

845

And then I think when you get older

and you're all kind of like in the

846

trenches, figuring out how to be

an adult in the world, you bond

847

and get really close because you're

like, listen, I've been there.

848

I'm going through it.

849

But then also like

continuing that to like.

850

Don't allow like different things or

like life changes to take you away

851

from like the bond that you do develop.

852

And celebrate those wins as they come,

because you, I want my siblings to always

853

feel that I am in their corner, cheering

them on, even from a time zone away.

854

and if I ever lost that, I

would definitely be really sad.

855

Not saying that I think I will, or

like anything like that, but that I

856

think is like a really big part of like

our relationship and our closeness.

857

And it means a lot to me.

858

Nicole: Same.

859

We love each other, which is awesome.

860

And I think it's super cool that

861

We have such a great sibling

relationship because I feel like

862

that's not always like super common.

863

Both our parents like don't have

they, they like don't get along with

864

their siblings a hundred percent.

865

And it's just not whereas

I could not imagine like

866

not being super close with them.

867

Christine: I would say like advice

wise try and I agree with what both of

868

them have said, Tori, especially like

celebrating each other's wins and as

869

you grow up and are adults and you start

your own journey and life, like making

870

sure you are there to support the other,

but also like when one of the biggest

871

things I sort of reflect on is, you

know, putting myself in their shoes.

872

So if they're going through something

and, you know, they want to want some

873

advice or a different perspective or you

know, there's a disagreement happening

874

and I'm trying to understand them better.

875

I think like having that

background of knowing each other.

876

Our whole lives has allowed me like

when I can not be emotionally invested

877

to sort of separate myself and sort of

put myself in their shoes, see where

878

they're coming from and just listen.

879

And I think the best way to sort

of maintain strong relationships is

880

It's not that we're constantly

in communication with each other.

881

Like we.

882

We aren't always, you know, talking

on the phone, but I know that if

883

I really needed them, like I could

pick up the phone and call them and

884

they would be there because of that

sort of trust and that Relationship

885

that's just been built over time.

886

So if you're looking for a deeper

relationship with a sibling, I think

887

like having the conversation is the best

place to start and trying to understand

888

where the other person's coming from.

889

Because without that understanding,

I think like you're not going to sort

890

of be able to relate to each other.

891

I don't know.

892

I'm kind of rambling here,

but does that make sense?

893

Am I offering

894

Alexandra: No, it does.

895

Christine: good advice there?

896

Torre: I also had one too.

897

That's very specific to when you live in

different states and are very far away.

898

Um, If that ever does happen to pertain

to you when you're listening is if you

899

can try to At least plan or coordinate

the next time you'll see each other When

900

you are with them before you say bye

and go back to your respective house or

901

wherever because I feel as people grow

old get older and like life happens.

902

They're really busy and they don't Stop

to prioritize and set aside time to make

903

the effort to go visit so with Nicole.

904

Or do teen, like every time that I

come home to New Jersey, I want to

905

see you figure out when I'm still

in New Jersey, when the next time

906

I'm going to see you is whether it's

before Thanksgiving, which is the next

907

bigger big holiday, or if it's going

to be that and different things there.

908

That way you know, when you're

going to see them again and you

909

have something to look forward to,

I think that's always positive.

910

Um, and you will really kind of avoid.

911

Life sweeping you up and

things and then going a year

912

without seeing them, you know But I

don't think I think it's hard to do that.

913

I think it's important to Prioritize and

make the effort to schedule those things

914

Alexandra: And it seems also

really applicable to long

915

distance friendships, too.

916

So that's great advice.

917

Torre: Our relationships

918

Christine: 100%.

919

I'm definitely one of the things

that I've Very willingly taken

920

on is I'll travel to you guys.

921

Like you guys are in the other cities.

922

Like you don't have to

constantly be coming home.

923

I want to come and experience your life

in the city that you are building your

924

life in one, because I get to spend time

with you, but I also get to see your

925

world and experience a part of your life.

926

I don't.

927

Get to like coming home, coming back to

New Jersey is coming home for your both.

928

And I think what's beautiful,

exciting is the fact that I get to

929

come to you guys and same with Alex.

930

I mean, she's she left New Jersey and

we have a long distance friendship,

931

but you know, I come down and visit

her and she comes down and visit

932

me and It's just, you know, I think

that's really great advice, Tori.

933

While you're together making

plans for the next time you can be

934

together and making that a priority,

ultimately our relationship,

935

Torre: if it's not

936

Christine: Are our priorities,

937

Torre: like book the

flight or anything like

938

Christine: but mark it in the calendar.

939

Yeah,

940

Torre: Let's do like this

weekend in October or something

941

like that type of deal.

942

Christine: exactly.

943

I'll

944

Alexandra: Okay.

945

So that was kind of the end of the

regularly scheduled questions there.

946

Do we want to open up the floor for

anyone to say anything or have anything

947

else to add to this lovely conversation

948

Christine: just say.

949

First, thank you guys so

much for coming back on.

950

I know you both are very busy.

951

Koli, this is one of your

biggest times of the year.

952

Thank you so much for taking the time.

953

I really appreciate it.

954

And it's just been fun.

955

I don't know if we would have otherwise

had this opportunity to sort of

956

talk candidly about these things.

957

So it's been a really cool,

like one of the many things I'm

958

grateful about starting this year.

959

with you, Alex is having these

conversations and having two

960

of my favorite people join us.

961

So thank you guys so much for coming.

962

I really appreciate it.

963

Love you both.

964

Torre: I love you, teen.

965

Thank you for having us on.

966

Nicole: you for

967

Christine: I hope you guys had fun.

968

And maybe this is something

we will revisit in the future.

969

I don't know.

970

Who knows?

971

If you guys are open to

972

it.

973

Nicole: Yeah, catch me

outside the tax deadline zone.

974

Alright,

975

Christine: Definitely will, Cole.

976

Definitely will.

977

100%.

978

Alexandra: or for other

conversations that aren't sibling

979

related, maybe books or movies or

something, activities and adventures.

980

Torre: I'll talk about

a book day of the week.

981

Christine: here, Here.

982

Awesome.

983

Okay, cool.

984

That brings us to the

end of today's episode.

985

We hope you enjoyed this special

journey through the world of Sibling

986

Dynamics, filled with lots of laughter,

memories, and heartfelt moments.

987

A big thank you to Both of

my sisters for joining us and

988

sharing their unique perspectives.

989

It's been a treat to

hear all those stories.

990

Whether you're reflecting on your own

siblings relationships or gaining new

991

insights into family dynamics, we hope you

found something that resonates with you.

992

As always, we'd love to hear your

thoughts, so don't hesitate to

993

share your favorite moments or

your own sibling stories with us.

994

And if you're an only child,

we'd love to know how you feel

995

about these sibling dynamics.

996

The conversation doesn't end here.

997

Keep it going with us on social

media or in the comments below.

998

Before we go, we do have

a quick announcement.

999

We're going on a brief

break, but don't worry.

00:51:53,754 --> 00:51:58,484

We're going to come back on October 3rd

to kick off a month of all things spooky.

00:51:58,914 --> 00:52:02,944

So get ready for a thrilling new

chapter filled with mysterious, eerie,

00:52:02,964 --> 00:52:05,214

and maybe some spine chilling topics.

00:52:05,429 --> 00:52:05,649

Who knows?

00:52:06,609 --> 00:52:08,819

We can't wait to dive

into the fun with you.

00:52:09,179 --> 00:52:12,579

Until then, we're sending you all

the love and sibling style bickering

00:52:12,589 --> 00:52:14,149

wrapped up in a whole lot of joy.

00:52:14,969 --> 00:52:16,229

See you on October 3rd.

00:52:17,164 --> 00:52:19,564

Alexandra: Are you enjoying the

banter and insights we're serving up?

00:52:20,084 --> 00:52:24,024

If so, consider tossing some support our

way through our buy us a coffee page.

00:52:24,384 --> 00:52:27,004

Every bit helps in fueling

this passion project of ours.

00:52:27,514 --> 00:52:30,150

Find the link in our show

notes and visit our link tree.

00:52:30,350 --> 00:52:32,620

We are immensely grateful

for your generosity.

00:52:32,806 --> 00:52:36,086

As we wrap up, remember to hit

that like subscribe or follow

00:52:36,086 --> 00:52:37,626

button on your preferred platform.

00:52:37,846 --> 00:52:40,886

Until next time, let's keep the

conversations going and we'll

00:52:40,886 --> 00:52:42,276

catch you on the next episode.