00:01:04 Why You Can’t Always Trust Facial Expressions
00:07:25 Let's take a look at the main takeaways from today's episode.
Behavioral Tells: Read the Hidden Signals Behind Every Action. What People Reveal Without Saying a Word. (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 46)
By Patrick King
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DYKN5V6H
Unlock the hidden code behind human behavior—before it costs you opportunities, relationships, and influence.Most people think they’re good at reading others. They’re not. They project, assume, and misinterpret—then wonder why conversations stall, deals fall apart, and signals get missed. Behavioral Tells cuts through the noise and shows you what people are actually communicating beneath the surface.
From bestselling author Patrick King, this is your field guide to decoding people in real time—without guesswork, overthinking, or relying on clichés like “just trust your gut.”
You’ll learn how perception quietly distorts everything you see—and how to fix it fast.
How perceptual biases like the halo effect and projection silently sabotage your judgment
The three perceptual positions that instantly sharpen your perspective in any interaction
Why your expectations shape what you notice—and how to break that loop
Practical ways to improve perceptual accuracy so you stop misreading people
But reading people isn’t just about what you see. It’s about what you notice, how you interpret it, and how you respond in the moment.
This book takes you deeper—into emotions, group dynamics, language patterns, and subtle behavioral signals most people completely miss.
The ABC model for understanding why people behave the way they do
Emotional granularity so you can distinguish nuance, not just “happy vs. angry”
The SUE framework for asking questions that reveal truth without resistance
How tone, word choice, and “meta-programs” expose hidden motivations
Along the way, you’ll learn why body language alone can mislead you, how attention flows in groups, and what everyday behaviors—like walking style, clothing, and even food choices—quietly reveal. Bottom line: This is not theory. It’s a toolkit.
Navigate conversations with precision
Spot inconsistencies before they become problems
Understand people faster than they understand themselves
Transcripts
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Can you really tell what someone is truly feeling just by looking at their face?
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Hello listeners.
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Welcome to Social Skills Coaching, where you become more likeable, more charismatic, and more productive.
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Patrick King's featured book today is Behavioral Tells.
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Read the hidden signals behind every action.
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What people reveal without saying a word.
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But this is more than just watch their eyes and see if they look up and to the left kind of material.
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We'll look at instances where maybe there is a lack of expression in facial expressions.
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Maybe someone is putting on an effort to create a specific impression.
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It's also possible to misinterpret those facial cues.
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And there's always a meaning behind the expression you're observing.
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Let's take a few minutes and dive into each of these topics.
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Why You Can’t Always Trust Facial Expressions
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Way back in 1972, with the publication of The Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals, Darwin first suggested that human emotions map onto distinct facial expressions.
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The trouble with humans, though, is that we may be in situations where we wish to conceal our emotions, or else appear to be feeling ones we aren’t.
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Richard Restak, the author of Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot: Unleashing Your Brain’s Potential, provides a simple exercise designed to improve your ability to read other people’s emotions.
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Restak claims that,
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“When a person pretends an emotion, he or she activates the same brain areas that would be activated in circumstances when the emotions are naturally and spontaneously expressed.”
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Try this exercise.
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◦ Get a trusted friend and position yourself around three feet away from one another.
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◦ Have your friend close their eyes.
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◦ Look at your friend’s face and ask them to think about the saddest memory they have of their life, but also instruct them that they shouldn’t respond in any way-for example, by sighing or frowning.
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◦ Watch their face and see if you notice any subtle changes.
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Make a note of what you observe.
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◦ Next, ask your friend to completely clear their mind and think of nothing.
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Again, watch and see what you can see.
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◦ Now ask your friend to open their eyes and look at you, again thinking about the saddest moment in their life, followed by a completely neutral experience, say, buying milk at the store.
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◦ Finally, ask the friend to imagine the happiest moment of their lives.
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Throughout, keep a close watch on their face, especially the eyes.
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In particular, notice what happens in the moments when one emotion shifts to another.
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The exercise is also illuminating when you switch roles.
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What did you both notice?
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Is there anything you’re especially surprised by?
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You may find that what your friend tells you they were thinking about and what you perceived in their facial expression were totally at odds.
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For example, from your perspective, they might have seemed totally serene and confident, but they tell you they were at that moment recalling the distressing moment they learned their grandmother had died.
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You’ll notice this the other way around, too, and be surprised at how poorly your friend read your expressions.
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Sure, in hindsight you may be able to read certain subtleties in an entirely different way.
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But what if you were only relying on your reading of their facial expression?
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The point of this exercise is not to show you that facial expressions are meaningless and that it’s not worth paying attention to them.
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Rather, it’s to show just how hidden people’s true emotions can actually be.
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The exercise shows you how well people can conceal their actual emotions, even when you think you may be seeing something in the movement of an eyebrow or the twitch of a lip.
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Something else you might notice is that the transitions themselves provide more information than any single facial movement or gesture.
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In other words, what you might be discerning is the effort someone is making to conceal their emotions, or else the change from one emotion to another.
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Even if someone is doing their best to hide their true feelings, you can still infer something when a stimulus gets some kind of rise out of them.
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What does it mean?
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Well, the rest of the context and all your other observations will help you find the answer.
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You’re having a disagreement with a family member because you strongly suspect them of lying to you.
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Let’s say you’re having a discussion, and their facial features are lively and animated.
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Then you bring up the issue of the lie, and this suddenly changes.
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Their face goes blank.
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They start making simple, clear, concise statements and repeating themselves.
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What does their facial expression tell you?
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Well, nothing.
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But the sudden change from expressive to non-expressive tells a big story.
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Even though the topic is distressing and you’re unhappy, they don’t mirror this or respond in a normal way to it.
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What you are noticing is the lack of expression or, more accurately, the effort being made to create that impression.
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What does it mean?
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There is an attempt to minimize or hide something, or else to de-escalate the situation.
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This person may not be outright lying to you, but they are definitely trying to avoid showing you something.
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We will explore this issue of lie detection in a later chapter, but first, we need to consider a very important concept in the art of people-reading.
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Glad you joined with us today.
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In this episode, we explored how people inadvertently reveal a lot about themselves through facial and emotional micro expressions, even if they try not to.
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By paying attention to the subtle transitions in emotions and expressions, you can better understand someone's true thoughts and feelings, and it's an invaluable skill for building deeper connections.
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Let's take a look at the main takeaways from today's episode.
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People can hide their true emotions through subtle facial changes.
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Practice with a friend by having them recall sad or happy memories while you observe.
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Notice how expressions shift when transitioning from one emotion to another, revealing their efforts to conceal them.
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Facial transitions often reveal more than the expressions themselves do.
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When someone stops showing emotions in response to sensitive topics, they might be hiding something.
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Noticing these shifts can provide clues about their true feelings or intentions.
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And in this vein, we'll leave you with a quote from Cicero.
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The face is a great liar and an index of character.
